I attended Utah State University in Logan, Utah (~80-90% Mormon population) where I took an Anthropology of Religion class. My professor (also a Mormon, but the most open-minded I have ever met) had a very interesting theory about the true reason coffee and tea became "outlawed" in Mormonism. As you likely know, the church wasn't outright against their consumption until after the Mormon's had settled in Utah and Brigham Young declared that the "revelation" from Joseph Smith now had to be followed fully for any member to be allowed a temple recommend. My teacher's theory is that Brigham Young's real motivation here was because coffee, tea, and tobacco could not be grown in the local climate, and too much of their money was being exported for these goods, which he wanted to remain in the local community. Therefore, by banning them, more money would stay local. Since the church controlled pretty much the entirety of the wealth in Salt Lake at the time, it would increase the church's income along with his own. This explanation really stuck with me as the most plausible reason for its ban. When in doubt, follow the money.
That could be. I hadn't thought about that. One of the reasons for tobacco being against the word of wisdom was that Joseph's wife Emma was frustrated with the guys spitting chewing tobacco on the floor during church.
To think like 4 months ago if I stumbled across this video, I would have claimed that Alyssa was doing the devil's work and clicked off in a rush. Now I can see clearly that she is speaking very calmly and logically. All it took was for me to experience a spiritual level of peace after accepting being gay and going on a date with a guy. As a side note I remember going to the temple to receive my endowment for the first time and having the thought cross my mind, "am I in a cult?". (Keep in mind I had no doubts in my belief that the church was completely true at the time so that is saying a lot if I got bad vibes) I seriously felt so anxious. The man who was guiding me through it had me change into my garments in the locker room. I don't remember why, but I was worried about privacy and the man made a comment like "just be glad you don't have to do the initiatory partially naked like we used to do." I was so uncomfortable. Then add on the strange clothing, chants, signs, tokens, and brainwashing voice telling you to obey or suffer the consequences. I will say, the celestial room is great. It's quiet, peaceful, allows you to think, and often times the room is pretty. After getting there and feeling that peace I thought to myself, maybe it's not a cult, maybe the devil is trying to convince me that it is. (Which is strange because why would the devil be inside the temple?) I have since realized, you can feel that same peace in other quiet and beautiful, bright rooms outside of the temple. I'm glad I figured this out while I'm still young (23) and not when I'm like old. I was seriously going to marry a girl have babies and live the Mormon lifestyle forever while keeping my feelings for men a secret. Now I can marry who I want and live my life in a way that is fulfilling to me. I thought that leaving the church would automatically make me a bad person, but you know what? I still have a tender heart, I love helping and supporting others, and I am probably a lot more understanding and empathetic than when I still believed in the church. I've changed, but not in a bad way.
@@xxwinter_skyesxx Aww, thank you! That really means a lot to me. Learning to live authentically is certainly a process. Some people have been supportive, others not so much. (kind of an understatement) The fear of rejection has stuck around, but I think one day I'll be able to get over it. Hopefully sooner rather than later because I feel like I've already wasted so much time caring about what other people think about how I choose to live.
honestly alyssa i think ur "calling" to be a teacher is coming true right now and i feel like ur teaching style is just perfect for youtube and the viewer base you have. you'd honestly make a great professor i think. clearly passionate about subjects and want to share information and you're great at presenting it.
My Morman experience & why subscribed to your podcast: In high school I dated the Morman bishops' daughter. We got engaged about the time I was sent to Vietnam. She dear johned me six months into my tour. I later married a Thai woman on my second tour. We had a little boy and when we drove to Washington state to show him to my mother. We had a blowout in a blizzard, and had to stop in Montecello Utah where I rented a motel room. My altenator had also failed so I spent time out in three feet of snow trying to fix it. My wife came to see if she could get me a lobby coffee. She looked like native American, so they told me I had to leave right away. I managed to go to a parts store and bought a spare battery and jumper cables and we left after getting a charge on the battery. As I had been told that no motel in town would rent us a room I was upset. So I took my WIFE AND SIX WEEK OLD BABY OUT INTO A BLIZZAD ON *CHRISTMAS EVE* and left Morman land as fast as could! Never had a good thought about Utah or Mormons again.
My grandparents are struggling with the rules. They’re struggling with wearing the garments with their ill health and disabilities. My grandad struggles because his mind isn’t stable and I think he forgets he’s a Mormon and an elder, and says annti Mormon things., and sometimes their ill health means they can’t attend church. And instead of helping them they shun them and have nothing to do with them unless they’re “perfect”. my grandad he couldn’t find his temple card in his wallet and they made my elderly parents go back home, but it was in his wallet all a long, he needed help and patients not to be turned away. They deserve compassion, and the church is being cruel and petty to them and it’s sad My nana can’t see it. They make poor elderly people pay their tithes even though they struggle to pay bills. My grandad would go to peoples houses to give sacrament (before his mind problems), but when my nana needed it they wouldn’t go to her. The church has no compassion for disabled or mentally unwell people. They make a big show of helping people when they first join up, but when things get difficult later they make people feel excluded.
My mom was hospitalized for a month when I was little, and a few weeks after she got back home, confined to a wheelchair, my dad had the bishop come talk to her about being a better wife. He encouraged her especially to remember her wifely duties “in the bedroom.” I’m so sorry your grandparents are experiencing such cruel treatment. It’s horrible their disregard for people who are struggling.
@@branwynnemayJesus Christ... I can't imagine how ANYONE could hear that and not immediately think, "This is incredibly, deeply wrong, and I don't want to be part of this." I don't understand how a man can see his wife, a woman he's supposed to be bound to love, protect, and respect, to be sick, struggling, and wheelchair bound, and think "The problem here is that she isn't letting me fuck her," and I don't know how any woman could hear that and think "You're right, that is my bad, I need to do better." The hold that Mormonism has on people is incomprehensible. If I'd ever had a bishop or archbishop in a Catholic church say anything like that, I don't know that I'd be able to stop myself from slapping or spitting on him and storming out of the church.
Wow! I am so sorry to hear about your grandparents difficulty. Unfortunately, church is not to serve people (how many homeless shelters have they built?) Church is to funnel money to arms merchants and keep good women busy.
For Alyssa: You're one of the UA-camrs that could easily branch out to other topics/niches due to just generally being a good presenter and making quality videos. I know there's an unlimited amount of ExMo stuff to go on for a long time, but it's probably worth keeping in mind if you have other areas you'd enjoy creating in. 😊
The Coffee Paradox alone would force me to reevaluate the entire faith - the drink itself i could take or leave but its the principle of the thing: this is very obviously a purposefully confusing and convoluted list of rules used by the top rich men to control and subjugate the rank and file members FOR LIFE
I plan on leaving the church when I’m 18. Your videos have really helped me understand Mormonism on a deeper level. I knew I wasn’t a believer of the church in my early years of teen hood but admittedly I couldn’t stop believing. Mormonism really is a mental prison. It’s only recently- within this last year I’ve confidently been able to say I’m not Mormon at all. I can’t wait for my 18th birthday so I can leave and pick up a copy of your book :)
My dad's been an exmormon my whole life, but still participated in the church for my mom. He was teaching our primary class the word of wisdom, when he said coffee was against the WOW I got super scared and yelled "but dad! You drink coffee!"
Discoveries like this (i.e., "dad drinks coffee", matched with "drinking it is against Wisdom", and "coffee is against my/mom's Mormonism") can be traumatic to kids. Given Brigham's historic motives against it, current church leaders should rewrite it to be consistent with medical and nutritional science.
I'm 61. 5th generation Mormon. I have recently left. Everything you've said has been taught at some point. My father is 94, raised in Utah, he has some great stories from the early days. (I'm lucky that my parents left Utah before I was born but I am now living in Utah...) In my opinion Many of the things taught are fear based. They're scaring you into their heaven
I used to think that many aspects of Mormonism like storing emergency suppliers and not drinking tea and coffee was a sign that the church cared about its people. But now I realise it’s a sign of fear and control, to make people fear the collapse of civilisation, and seperate them from conventional society, they have to constantly worry about what the rules are.
Haha! Literally had to pause this video to answer the door… two young Mormon men on their mission! I had a nice chat with them and told them I was watching your video and thanks to you I understood much more of what they’re going through. I wished them well and made sure to mention your channel again as they left.
The interesting thing about the garments not being damaged is that the majority of time you are in some type of accident your core body parts aren't damaged. It's usually your arms, legs, hands, and feet because they are your mobile parts of the body. This is why the majority of your scars are on your hands, because you use your hands more than any other body part. The majority of injuries are on hands, arms, legs, and feet.
Oddly, as I am old now, I have foot and hand arthritis but no belly button arthritis at all! I attribute this to the wearing of Mormon garments part of my life.
I'm a practicing member of the LDS Church, I got baptised in April, yet I get a lot of recommendations for your content. I don't always watch it for obvious reasons but when I do you are very informative and I do learn a lot (like the wine at sacrament thing, I had no idea about that!) and I have to give credit that this really is some quality content
The great thing about this channel is that it's very informative and typically respectful. Admittedly, her personal bias slips in at times but that's just a human thing to do.
@@rubypeterson665 That's a great question! I actually reached out to missionaries definitely in one of my low points in life, and at the time I really viewed the church in negative light having had seen the BoM musical and hearing all this stuff about polygamy and the FLDS. Ultimately though, I started taking lessons, my missionaries showed me this channel called Saints Unscripted who do really balanced arguments for a lot of the church's flaws, and eventually just through faith, prayer and becoming more educated I built a testimony that I'm now really proud of. Hope that makes sense :)
@@jonathangatto Oh I wasn't speaking about myself, I just thought it was funny that she said that line and then cut-screened to herself drinking coffee lol
Your videos have been therapy for me in a weird way. Never Mormon but when I was in high school I dated a Mormon girl and we were sweet hearts Junior and Senior year. Her dad hated me, never wanted to interact with me and my family, never knew why. She broke up with me a week before graduation and she ended up going to BYU Idaho and got married after the end of her freshman year with a guy she met mid way thru her fall semester. After watching your videos about generational Mormons being a bit racist (I’m half Hispanic) and not liking churches like Catholicism, which I was, it definitely makes me feel more at peace in someways, instead of wondering “what did I do”
You claim to not be a good teacher and yet have such an apt way of speaking. It's quite pleasurable listening to your "double-lessons". You are in fact a great teacher, but maybe more so outside of the conventional classroom and within your comfort zone. Down to earth and critical thinker. Keep it up!
Thank you for taking time to promote media literacy! It's so important to understand different perspectives and biases when evaluating the trustworthiness of things we read, especially online.
29:50 "never take part in watersports" I had to do a little giggle since now leaving the church and coming out as gay... "water sports" took on an entirely different meaning
@@xxwinter_skyesxxREAL. I remember being on call with my friend after I read that fic being like “Why does water sports mean that? I thought that they were just gonna be doing water polo like grandmas!” LMFAO😭😭😭
Re: "Hot" drinks. It was explained to me that this actually referred to drinks that are brewed from crops grown in hot climates, and therefore grown by mostly dark-skinned people, thus the taboo. So there's actually a racist underpinning to the admonition against coffee and tea. Which doesn't really explain the fact that chocolate is allowed, but hey if logic applied to Mormonism then it wouldn't be Mormonism.
I very much appreciate your side bar in media literacy and knowing the intent of the site publishing information and looking for primary sources or comparing multiple view points. The USA needs a critical thinking refresher anytime we can squeeze it in. Love your content, saw you on Mormon Stories and have been watching ever since.
My best friend in high school was Mormon. This is in South Australia, where there's really little to no religion. Until meeting him, in my tiny teenage brain, I honestly thought that religion was just not a thing that really happened here. It was weird for a bit, I had no clue what it meant to be friends with him. I never understood why he would turn down a lot of seemingly mundane things. I would poke fun at it a bit, and test the waters on occasion, see what I could get away with (nothing malicious, just normal teenage friend razzing) and it would just make him laugh! He would never crack. He never got mad, never got upset, and most importantly, never EVER tried to talk about religion with me. It took me a long time to even notice that, and I have immense love for him more now, than I did even back then, because as an adult, I can look back and see how much pressure his religion, and even I as his friend would selfishly put him under, even if it was joking. He could tell I wasn't interested in religion, and he never looked down on me, and never tried to change me or our dynamic over it. Just out of school, we started a band together. He actually started drinking with the rest of us (we NEVER offered it to him, it was 100% his choice). He was swearing, drinking, hanging out with questionable characters, we would watch South Park together (his favourite episode was the mormon episode) and we all just assumed he was drifting out of mormonism. It was a total shock when, a few years after the band broke up and we hadn't talked for a while (nothing bad, just had adult stuff going on) he messaged me one day to say "hey, can we catch up soon? I'm going to be doing a mission for 2 years." I couldn't believe it! Not that it mattered to me what he did, but I felt SO horrendous that for the past 4-5 years, I had been treating him like he was out of it all. I had done nothing to show him that I cared, and actively had talked shit about something that to my shock, must actually still mean so much to him! Even the pre mission catch up we did have, he was like "I'm doing this for my parents." I even said to him "Dude, I know you. I don't think you would put yourself through this if it wasn't something that you believed in. If that's what you want, then cool! I just hope you go and have a great time!" And he responded with "yeah alright, I do actually just wanna go." Like, sure, I am deeply, DEEPLY anti religious, I think it's evil, but if I had known he was gonna be still going out and doing his mission, still believing, I would have shown an immense amount of emotional support over the past whatever amount of years. I've never forgiven myself for the shit I said about his beliefs because of my assumptions about his level of involvement. I should have shut my damn mouth. He went on his mission, and I expected to hear nothing for 2 years. But out of nowhere! An email! I couldn't believe it. I was so happy that he cared enough to reach out when he could. It wasn't until watching these videos from Alyssa, and hearing that he actually should not have been emailing me, that I can cherish that SO much more. He eventually got back, and we caught up quite a bit that first 6-12 months back. He seemed to be heading down the "ok, my faith is going to be my entire life" route, and that was fine. I was only very happy for him that he seemed to be doing what he wanted. I very awkwardly came out to him not long after he returned, and he did not care one bit that I am gay, and it changed nothing between us. I am SO SO SO thankful for that. After a few catch ups though, I was noticing how he was getting sadder, and more cynical. He was looking tired, and was kinda going back to how we were in our band days. He was drinking again, he would talk about how bad his life has been, mostly about dating within the religion, and how horrible the experience has been for him emotionally. He was angrier, weirder, and pissed off about his friends and family in the church. Any time we caught up, I would just let him let it all out. I'm pretty sure I was the only place he felt comfortable safely letting out his religious frustrations. I would just sit back, let him let it all out, and assure him that the only thing that matters is his happiness. No matter what he chose. There was a little bit where we didn't have much time to catch up. But then when we did one night, I was SHOCKED to see that he was the happiest I've ever seen him. He was making a living doing things that make him happy. Doing things that the church had always softly discouraged him from pursuing (music stuff). He left Mormonism, and was the happiest and healthiest looking he had been since I have known him!!! Literally!!! I've never really had the opportunity to let him know how much I care about him in this way, and how much I've learned from his journey. But, this channel and these stories make me wanna sit him down and give him this embarrassing "this is why I love you" chat 😂
I HATED my garments. We live in a desert, sure add an extra layer of uncomfortable clothing. Good think'n. They are in a landfill next to my temple cloths now.
Growing up Mormon, it drove me nuts seeing various LDS members down soda after soda with caffiene/sugar and yet saying my Grandpa and Grandpa were breaking the Word of Wisdom drinking their morning cup of coffee.
@@jeffsellers5468 exactly! Coffee is dirty water and caffeine. No diabetes, no rotten teeth, no bone softening..... Yet it's a problem!?!?! The amount of sugar that runs through the Mormon diet is crazy. I watch my family members go through the litre after a litre of soda. They eat ice cream by the gallon, candy is everywhere and let's not forget the cake, cookies and brownies at church functions. Yeah, my coffee is going to keep me out of heaven........🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣
The wearing a cross thing reminds me of a joke Bill Hicks used to tell. He said something along the lines of, "It's just weird to me. You think when that guy comes back he ever wants to see a cross again? It's like wearing a pendant of a rifle in memory of JFK." 😂
@therealz360z7only religious people and racists (conservatives) discriminate your son-in-law based on what religion he practices or his ethnicity. Progressive nonreligious believe in your son-in-law's right to practice whatever religion he wants regardless of his ethnicity (that we don't discriminate against him for)
love the video!!!! I've recently dived deep into your channel. I'm not a mormon and never was. I was sent to a troubled teen facility in south jordan, utah. turnabout stillwater academy. the entire place was mormon ran and we were forced to go to mormon church on Sundays regardless of what religion we identified with. I'm from north carolina so it was a huge culture shock for me and I recognized it as a cult immediately. the cherry on top of being taken from my bedroom at 3am and being sent to utah was being forced to go to mormon church. the teachings of the church almost solidified every brainwashy twisted thing the staff said to me and I lost it. I actually for a minute thought the only way to save myself was if I converted. luckily I didn't. I was raised southern baptist and am now a proud atheist. alyssa, I love your work. keep doing what you're doing and I would LOVE to see a video connecting the troubled teen industry to the mormon church. much love :)
This was an interesting insight. I also definitely agree that exploring the connection between the Mormon church and troubled teen facilities would make for a fascinating topic for a future video.
I’m not even a mormon, I’m actually a mexican woman raised in a catholic household and now an agnostic but I’m OBSESSED with your channel haha… you’re awesome!!
@@Zeett09 Ahh, but for years - and maybe now - the LDS Church was a very major investor in COCA-COLA, INC. Interesting, eh? Utah is now a huge consumer of COKE products.
My grandfather is Mormon but my grandmother is not and never has been. He was a convert at 18, his whole family converted around the same time and he went on a mission, met her when he was in his early twenties. He was a lab technician at the hospital she was training to be a nurse at, she was always adamant that she wasn’t going to convert and he never pushed her, none of their children ever joined the church. He did leave the church for a while, a bishop or something at one point told my grandpa that he needed to divorce my grandma since she wasn’t a member and it made him so angry he left. Not sure why he went back to be honest, though I guess he never stopped believing and he was never pushed to leave my grandma again (she is a member of the united church). 61 years they have been married and luckily for them their difference in belief have never really been an issue since that bishop. It’s pretty crazy how love can see past things like that.
Good for them. I probably could never date anyone who had strong religious beliefs because in my mind it would mean so many other underlying issues were probably present.
@@helpfulcommenter my maternal grandfather was also a part of my grandma never converting (he came over as a child from Northern Ireland) though my grandma was also steadfast in her beliefs. When he was away from the LDS he went to church with her and their kids, I don’t think he went back until they were grown up. He only really told me all about his life this year as I moved in with them to save money while I went back to school, had a very full life where very little of what he’s done had anything to do with the church.
@@katsuxshakura that’s so interesting. Our forbears lives hold so much information that can explain things in our own lives. My grandfather died when I was young but he was raised LDS and never really fell into it as far as I understand. But I grew up hearing about all this family I “could never meet” who lived in Utah. It was like a total break with his roots and me living two generations later will never know blood relatives, at this point they are lost to us, and I assume most if not all are Mormon but we have no way to figure it out
I really love that your content is not hateful- Not a member of the church at all, but you come across as respectful, not demeaning. Honest about your experiences and transparent about the church. It's really interesting just for learning, and I think it probably makes your content more palatable to current members, because you're not making anyone out to be stupid even when you criticize practices. Just been binging your content the past few days and wanted to note that :))
As someone who holds a lot of resentment for the church because of my upbringing in it. She has a lot of self control, because when I talk about my upbringing in the Mormon church I am not nearly as respectful 😂
I lost my ex-wife to mormonism. She found a book in a hotel drawer, joined a cult, became a jesus freak, shamed me for being bisexual (eventhough im monogamous) tried to convert me against my will, and filled my room with dozens of bibles we DID NOT have the money for. I had to leave her. Mormonism destroyed my marriage
That's terrible. I don't know why hotels have Bibles, it's very weird to me as someone who wasn't raised Christian. I was recently in a nice hotel in California and they had a Bible and book of Mormon in the drawer.
Alyssa, you may not see this comment, but I just wanted to chime in with my own experiences because your content has helped me so much. I have been deconstructing from non-denominational Christianity and have been black sheeped by most of my family for my separation from the church. Thank you for making content like this, I've found a community of people that are going through something similar and it's been so incredible to feel supported in this time. It's so isolating to feel like you're turning your back on your whole family. Much love from Florida! ❤
I remember fighting with my mom as a teenager about coffee/tea because we had the same conversation of “well if it’s hot drinks why can’t I drink it iced? Why can we drink hot chocolate? Tell me the reason.” And eventually she just said “because that’s how it is!” She wasn’t shocked when I dropped the church the month I turned 18 😂
Had the same conversation with my dad when I bought a mocha frappachino from Starbucks with coffee in it. “Well it’s not hot so it’s not an issue” and I would usually bring up his Mountain Dew addiction and that usually brought the conversation to a close lmao
A few months ago 2 missionary Mormon guys came knocking, they’re from the USA (I’m in Québec, Canada). I was raised in the evangelical Christian religion (the Salvation Army for us) thought we weren’t the most devoted members, we attended church every Sundays, and it’s also where i met my childhood friend when we were about 2 years old, we’re now 25 and she has a 2 years old daughter (her parents were the pastors, her dad’s still is but in another city) so I had a little bit background of God and stuff so I was polite with them and told them this path of life doesn’t lineup with my own values anymore, but I still listen out of respect (their French was pretty good😅). And now after this video, I’m can’t stop thinking of the undergarments they probably had when they came😂
Can't wait to watch this one! I'd love to see a future video from a feminist perspective on how the church influenced your views on marriage, motherhood and being a wife etc. Maybe how/if your marriage dynamics changed after deconstructing? Just a thought, love your vids!
Im Exmo, and I got out at around 13 when I was in the Idaho foster care system and wound up in 1 of the 3 foster homes that were not Mormon. This family was Some Sect Evangelical christian and helped me slowly deconstructed the Mormon shelf and showed me all the logical inconsistencies with Mormon doctrine. Really surprised them 7 years later when I used the same tools to deconstruct the christian faith all together and became an atheist. I grew up in SE Idaho, and went to school there. Technically it was a public school, but it was majority Mormon and we all knew it. The school conveniently bent over backwards to leave enough room for the Mormon church to exist through it. Dances, homework, we very lightly scrapped by evolution just enough to say that we learned it. After High School, social life just fell off. Like, there was NOTHING to do in town. So I had a friend of a friend who were in a singles ward. and I joined them for parties and events and hung out and basically just want "Nah, bro. I'm good" whenever they invited me to church.
When I was a kid, I found my dad burning garment markings in the backyard. I was so confused on what he was doing. He never saw me though. I had also found their aprons along with other temple clothing in my parents room and it scared me. I had no clue what they would wear those for. Growing up, I dreaded becoming adult in the church. So grateful I left this cult.
As a Jew, it’s kind of interesting you talking about the focus on the rules and rituals, and how they get skirted because like, a lot of Judaism is also focused on the rules and rituals, except in Mormonism skirting them is an exception because you’re supposed to follow them without really questioning, so if you make that personal leeway, that’s your thing but doctrine is doctrine from on high, while in Judaism the whole point is the discussion of the rules and their purposes and interpretations, we’ve got the famous midrash of The Oven of Akhnai (which also gets told as a joke because it’s structure let’s it work as either) in which god speaks from the heavens to share their opinion on the issue being discussed, to which the head rabbi of the majority (which god is against) quotes Torah to god, “the Torah is on earth not in heaven,” and basically says “yeah you’re god, so what? It’s now 2 to 20 instead of 1 to 20”
Aside from enjoying and learning from the video, I really like and appreciate the fact that you touched on media literacy. This is such an important topic that needs more discussion, now more than ever.
Just giving some fun inside in life of mormons outside of US. Lots of my russian mormon friends say that only black tea is prohibited which is very confusing. They also find coca-cola generally unhealthy so they drink russian herbal soda that actually contains some back tea and this situation is a very big topic of discussion.
Every time you go over the endowment ceremony with the signs and tokens, I think about how hard that would be for neurodivergent people... like that is a LOT to process.
Coming from a heavily ND family- not as much as you would think. It’s the routine of it, and the for the majority of the ceremony, you are isolated (women with women, men with men) in theater seating, watching an interactive video. There is occasional handshake with the temple worker. The prayer circle is only required if it is your personal endowments or you are in an exceptionally small session. But really, it’s the routine. It’s going to be mostly the same every time (if you consider that at any given time there are usually three version of the video played at random - ie which satan/adam/eve will we see today/). I can see how some ND might struggle with it. I generally had to keep a silent fidget it my pocket to help me focus or I might fiddle with all the extra layers. And of course a couple *white* tic tacs- just in case. Sacrament meetings (the main Sunday meetings) are/were harder for most of my family due to the forced (superficially social) interactions, and the crying/loud kids. My grandma often had knitting when I went with her to help. My dad would take notes in calligraphy. I sketched religious images.
When I returned from my mission, I was garment checked by this lady in my ward who said she saw my “bare midriff.” I’ve always loved to dress really cute and the night before I got home really late from work so I just took off my top garment while laying out my church outfit for tomorrow. My stomach BARELY showed- I mean you really had to be staring to see it just ride up a bit. After that moment, I knew I wouldn’t be going back to church....
Ah, I now understand why there is an LDS church in my small city in the middle of Argentina. They don’t have to swear off mate! That would really be the sacrifice no Argentine is willing to make. Coffee and tea is cool, but mate is sacred. I’ve been watching your videos for a while (I’ve never been Mormon and I was very curious) and I find them very useful! Keep the good work.
I am so impressed with how knowledgeable you are to all the small details. You really are an expert. I really enjoy your guest that share their expertise. Thank you.
I bet you anything another reason why they stopped burning the garments is because they probably started making them garments with synthetic fibers. Synthetic fibers are plastic. It's literal plastic. Synthetic fibers don't burn. They melt. If you have a 100% polyester shirt you're gonna throw away, try burning it. It won't burn. It'll shrink away from the flame because it's melting. So if you tried to burn synthetic garments it wouldn't work. I think the garments are a cotton/synthetic blend. so it would work a little bit. but also there would be fumes from the burning plastic and people would get sick and it would be very difficult to burn (flame would keep going out) so it would be bad.
Thank you for adding that bit about doing your own research and looking at different sources to build your own opinion. I'm a true atheist, I don't believe any god exists and yet I've actually read quite a few of the most common and some not so common religious texts. I just thought it's important to read to understand more about history and why some people do what they do and also to make sure this really isn't for me. My atheist parents always encouraged that and I took religion as a class in school too for years. I've read pro and anti Mormon things and talked to real Mormon missionaries and definitely built my opinion about that belief system. I still won't treat any of the super young missionaries badly even if I think they believe in something completely ridiculous thought up by a very horrible man with some kind of mental health issue.
I love you channel. I am an ex Mormon myself. I was wondering would you consider making a video about all the different doctrines that have changed over the years?
Congrats for the great job explaining and answering so real questions I had about Mormons hahaha plus your speech is so good to understand, as I am a non native English speaker 😊
I appreciate your even and thoughtful analysis of what your experiences have been. You provide a balanced and careful view of a culture you were once deeply embedded in, but you aren't antagonistic to it. I appreciate how you are respectful of their views and behaviors while still being appropriately critical of them. I wish the discussion of various religions could be as calm and reasonable. We'd have a lot less conflict.
Hey Alyssa, I love your videos! Not an exmo or mormon, but I just thought you should know that every time I sit down to watch your longer form content, I make a cup of coffee and spike it with Bailey's in solidarity. Have a good day
I want to know more about Mormon vacation destinations in Mexico and Central/South America. I have seen Mormon tour groups when I was in Mexico, and for the brief times that I stood with their groups and listened to their guides, it was clear that they were getting a VERY different tour of some historical sites than I was.
Ex-Mormon here, now a Buddhist. There's an interesting trend I've found between Mormonism's polytheistic nature and how a lot of Ex-mormons I've talked to deconverted/left the church: Those who leave the faith tend to gravitate towards pagan/polytheistic/spiritualist practices instead of joining a Christian sect. This is then followed by a progression to complete atheism in some cases. It's pretty prevalent in Utah (from what I've seen and talked with others about, at least), and I think it has to do with all the rituals and strange beliefs that the church engages in.
Feeling a little called out as I'm currently really into paganism and witchcraft lol. Satanism is also something I've been interested in but maybe more in an learning/fascination sense than seriously considering joining. But yeah, I felt that one.
Wow, embracing the cross and removing Moroni are BIG, STRANGE things. I was pretty devout growing up (am exmo now) and would always get a feeling of deep happiness in my heart when I saw a Moroni statue appear on the horizon. It felt very important and hopeful for me and was a real homeward call for me as a member in an area with a relatively low density of Mormons. It seems like they're eventually going to dilute themselves into insignificance if this is the way they're going.
That little sip of coffee after you tell the audience it can keep you from your eternal family is hilarious. And thanks for giving people a great lesson on analyzing the agenda of each web site folks encounter as they research anything including Mormonism. Everyone should keep agendas in mind with every source.
id love to see a video of all your post mormon "firsts" and what went into them! your videos are really fun to watch, even though i have zero connection to the church
Hi Ms. Alyssa! Nevermo here, but I was raised in a household with 'cult light' beliefs. I "jumped ship" in my late teens, but the experience fostered an academic interest in authoritarian religions and how they often use mind control as a tool. If I'm not mistaken, historically, Mormons have been rather militant. I've always seen their dietary restrictions as not only a way of reinforcing control but as a way of ensuring their soldiers were healthy and in 'fighting shape' as well. Seeing as Mormonism has a heavy emphasis on recruitment, is it possible that these influencers receive a type of special dispensation from the church, enabling them to "skirt the rules" and present the many rules and regulations in a more secular and potentially appealing light? Thank you for sharing your experiences and knowledge! I'm so happy that you're FREE.
No. One of the hardest things about being a Mormon missionary was teaching tithing, chastity, word of wisdom (coffee, tea, drugs, nicotine), etc. There was no sugar coating anything. If people weren’t living it, they couldn’t join.
Mormons aren’t currently "militant.” That was in the Brigham Young and Joseph Smith days. There are some weirdos that love their guns, but that’s more political party affiliation than religion.
Just discovered your channel and have been binge watching the videos ever since. I hear so many parallels between your Mormon background and mine coming from a very strict Southern Baptist background. Looking back to high school, it's no wonder to me now that one of my best friends was Mormon. The challenges we both faced were even more similar than I knew at the time. Thank you for such insightful and ultimately for me, healing, content.
@@GothMagpie WHAT??!???😭😭😭 you’re telling me i went to a idkhow but they found me gloomtown tour show & no clue he was struggling oh no:( well i’m glad he’s accepting, im in FL & he wore the trans flag on stag, that made me so happy :D
@@ryguy56 oh man that sounds rad I last saw him at a panic gig in ‘14 I think I don’t know if he struggled so much on his own band tours but touring with panic was where I remembered there being issues around everyone else drinking and whatever?? Again, I think there are old vines from that tour where he’s eating cereal or somethin haha Pretty rad dude anyways. The Brobecks still goes hard
So wild to me that the organization that taught me the phrase "Follow the spirit of the law, not the letter of the law." struggles SO MUCH with that distinction.
I was told once by a very good Mormon friend that one of Joseph Smith's wives was tired of cleaning spilled coffee stains from her tablecloths and then there was this miraculous new revelation that Mormon's could no longer drink hot beverages
I would love to see videos with ex’s of other religions and branches of Christianity. I grew up super conservative evangelical baptist and would love to watch you talk through Mormonism vs evangelicals with someone who grew up like I did. I loved the video you did with that guy who was Jehovah’s Witness.
When the first question came up, I went, "Oh, Orson Scott Card right?" Then Melissa listed a bunch of actual celebrities, half of whom I haven't heard of. Realization: I'm a nerd.
The no coffee rule and the so called prophet drinking it reminds me of those cult leaders that prohibit random stuff to the people on their cult just to prove that they have the power to do so and if they question it they get punished.
Another weird thing about garments is that Mormons don't seem to even realise that "garment" is a perfectly normal word without a special Mormon connotation. I'm not Mormon, but I'm wearing a garment right at this moment, several of them actually! Because to everyone except Mormons, a garment is simply any article of clothing. I have yet to hear a post-Mormon commenter pick up on this fact.
When you were talking about your learned fear of water and the other peoples experience saying they think you’re nuts and they never were taught that, I was thinking we all internalized different parts of various aspects of our lives in entirely individual ways. I’ve been in several different religious organizations, and when I read and hear things from other former members, I often think my experience was so different and when you’re talking about your experience, I have different memories or different viewpoints. For example, I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and later soon after became a Mormon as I was primed and ready fora religion that was very exclusive and told me that you had to find the right religion. That was one of the things I got out of my first religion is that there is “one true religion”. Methodists and Presbyterian are not so exclusive. They do not play the “if you’re not part of this church you’re not going to please god” game from my experience. To me, that pretty much put them out of the running so far as an acceptable religion. Like I said, we all take different things from our experiences in the world and in religions.
The mental image of someone ceremonially burning what is essentially long underwear is so funny to me, all I can picture is that meme of Elmo with flames reflected in his eyes. I understand why they changed that for optics lol.
When I went through the temple in 1983, I'm pretty sure I was instructed by my father that I only needed to cut out and burn the marks. The remainder could just be discarded.
A small correction about Tonga: like you were saying a bit before that point, trying to get a percentage of active members is hard but 60% is the mormon church's number. Only around 1/3 of those people actually self identified as mormon on a census.
It’s quite interesting to have this new perspective on MTC (as mentioned in a prior video) and then the system of discipline while serving the mission. It reminds me very much of basic/AIT where you MUST be at all times with your battle buddy or you get smoked. I loved land nav even though it sucked because I was finally able to be alone with my thoughts in the forest (even if I was soaking wet and cold). It’s also a bit of a shock to be, as an adult, treated like you very much aren’t an adult. Difference primarily being that we end up doing/learning something useful with the training. And get paid for it.
54:26 Funny thing about this hymn is that I grew up an Evangelical Christian and I recognized the song as you were singing it. I realized that the reason I recognized it is the music this hymn is set to is from "My Redeemer" which is a DIFFERENT Christian hymn that I sung as a kid. Apparently some LDS churches sing both versions of the hymn which I find incredibly fascinating.
On the topic of dressing modestly as a kid to “prepare”- I was raised in a super devout household by my grandparents, and we were going on a trip to visit my mother and siblings when I was maybe 7 or 8. My siblings all wanted to go swimming, but I hadn’t brought a bathing suit and had to go buy a new one. The only one piece bathing suit they had available was a halter neck, and I sobbed in the store about how I couldn’t go because it wasn’t modest enough… even though it was very much a fully covered bathing suit. My grandparents told me that it would be okay to wear, and that it was the best I could do in the circumstances, and applauded my effort for caring. You know what though? I still didn’t go because it wasn’t modest enough for me to feel comfortable, and I spent the following hours crying in the backseat of the car alone. That’s what this “modesty culture” can do to young girls- it makes some of us so scared and ashamed that not even a reassuring word can undo it.
@@jameshealy4096I looked in my old Joy of Cooking which had several recipes for yeast and non yeast ‘coffee cake’ but no explanation of the term . ‘Bread and Coffee cakes’ is a whole chapter separate from ‘Pies and pastries’ and ‘cakes, cupcakes, torten and filled cakes’. I think coffee cake was intended to be eaten as breakfast, brunch or a snack. Other types of cakes were intended as dessert. So coffee cake might have a sweet fruit inside or streusel topping but not frosting. You certainly wouldn’t put candles on it for a birthday! I could imagine that England would consider coffee as more of a flavor, since their default beverage would be tea rather than coffee. Here in the US we threw our tea into Boston Harbor. We wouldn’t dare serve a guest such an unpatriotic drink!
I have a bachelor's degree in opera and I think you have a lovely head voice with a nice vibrato! The song (psalm?) is higher than more contemporary songs, but your voice manages beautifully.
Alyssa it would be so interesting if you could do a deep dive into Ballerina Farm and all their shenanigans. Also I saw on Facebook that a prominent Utah Mormon couple, Olin and Kerilyn Johnson died in a murder suicide in June. There seems to be a weird theme of these ultra “perfect” families and the extreme internal pressure that exists due to the LDS ideology. Anyways would be intriguing to hear your take on this type of high flying wealthy Mormon couples gone wrong. Edited to add Tausha Haight and her 5 kids murder/suicided by her husband last year. Also Mormons.
Oh I wanted to add that I also find it bizarre that in all the posts about the Johnson case made by all the LDS friends and family, not one peep about how this was a case of domestic violence. Everyone talking about the situation like they both died in a car crash and not a murder/suicide. Truly bizarro
I grew up Baptist so most of what I know about Mormonism comes from you, I do however know a few things about Freemasonry because all of my family grew up in freemasonry so I am SO interested in your upcoming video about the intersection of the two.
Hey Alyssa, I just recently found your channel. and as a fellow exmormon I am genuinely enjoying your content so much. Have you considered touching more on the FLDS and their relation to the LDS Church? I know the LDS Temple has said they do not condone the practices of the FLDS and do not wish to be associated with them, but a lot of people who did not grow up in the Mormon church don't know many of the differences!
I attended Utah State University in Logan, Utah (~80-90% Mormon population) where I took an Anthropology of Religion class. My professor (also a Mormon, but the most open-minded I have ever met) had a very interesting theory about the true reason coffee and tea became "outlawed" in Mormonism. As you likely know, the church wasn't outright against their consumption until after the Mormon's had settled in Utah and Brigham Young declared that the "revelation" from Joseph Smith now had to be followed fully for any member to be allowed a temple recommend.
My teacher's theory is that Brigham Young's real motivation here was because coffee, tea, and tobacco could not be grown in the local climate, and too much of their money was being exported for these goods, which he wanted to remain in the local community. Therefore, by banning them, more money would stay local. Since the church controlled pretty much the entirety of the wealth in Salt Lake at the time, it would increase the church's income along with his own.
This explanation really stuck with me as the most plausible reason for its ban. When in doubt, follow the money.
It is alll about the money 😂
very informative comment btw
It's just business. Cold impersonal business.
and my Mormon grandpa told me that tobacco, alcohol and coffee could be easily poisoned since Mormons were hated.
That could be. I hadn't thought about that. One of the reasons for tobacco being against the word of wisdom was that Joseph's wife Emma was frustrated with the guys spitting chewing tobacco on the floor during church.
To think like 4 months ago if I stumbled across this video, I would have claimed that Alyssa was doing the devil's work and clicked off in a rush. Now I can see clearly that she is speaking very calmly and logically. All it took was for me to experience a spiritual level of peace after accepting being gay and going on a date with a guy.
As a side note I remember going to the temple to receive my endowment for the first time and having the thought cross my mind, "am I in a cult?". (Keep in mind I had no doubts in my belief that the church was completely true at the time so that is saying a lot if I got bad vibes) I seriously felt so anxious. The man who was guiding me through it had me change into my garments in the locker room. I don't remember why, but I was worried about privacy and the man made a comment like "just be glad you don't have to do the initiatory partially naked like we used to do." I was so uncomfortable. Then add on the strange clothing, chants, signs, tokens, and brainwashing voice telling you to obey or suffer the consequences. I will say, the celestial room is great. It's quiet, peaceful, allows you to think, and often times the room is pretty. After getting there and feeling that peace I thought to myself, maybe it's not a cult, maybe the devil is trying to convince me that it is. (Which is strange because why would the devil be inside the temple?) I have since realized, you can feel that same peace in other quiet and beautiful, bright rooms outside of the temple.
I'm glad I figured this out while I'm still young (23) and not when I'm like old. I was seriously going to marry a girl have babies and live the Mormon lifestyle forever while keeping my feelings for men a secret. Now I can marry who I want and live my life in a way that is fulfilling to me. I thought that leaving the church would automatically make me a bad person, but you know what? I still have a tender heart, I love helping and supporting others, and I am probably a lot more understanding and empathetic than when I still believed in the church. I've changed, but not in a bad way.
You sound awesome!!! :)
@@jewelgazer Thanks!
I’m so happy that you’ve found that peace for yourself!!! I hope you’re in a safe place where you can live freely and authentically
@@xxwinter_skyesxx Aww, thank you! That really means a lot to me. Learning to live authentically is certainly a process. Some people have been supportive, others not so much. (kind of an understatement) The fear of rejection has stuck around, but I think one day I'll be able to get over it. Hopefully sooner rather than later because I feel like I've already wasted so much time caring about what other people think about how I choose to live.
I love you and I hope your religious recovery is smooth!! From someone raised extremist evangelical Lutheran
babe wake up, alyssa grenfell posted !!
You can let them sleep! It'll be here when they wake up haha jkjk
And I’ve had my traditional pre-Alyssa Grenfell coffee!
Real actually, her vids are the highlight of my week
💯
@@alyssadgrenfellthis is such a millennial response and we love you for it
honestly alyssa i think ur "calling" to be a teacher is coming true right now and i feel like ur teaching style is just perfect for youtube and the viewer base you have. you'd honestly make a great professor i think. clearly passionate about subjects and want to share information and you're great at presenting it.
My Morman experience & why subscribed to your podcast: In high school I dated the Morman bishops' daughter. We got engaged about the time I was sent to Vietnam. She dear johned me six months into my tour. I later married a Thai woman on my second tour. We had a little boy and when we drove to Washington state to show him to my mother. We had a blowout in a blizzard, and had to stop in Montecello Utah where I rented a motel room. My altenator had also failed so I spent time out in three feet of snow trying to fix it. My wife came to see if she could get me a lobby coffee. She looked like native American, so they told me I had to leave right away. I managed to go to a parts store and bought a spare battery and jumper cables and we left after getting a charge on the battery. As I had been told that no motel in town would rent us a room I was upset. So I took my WIFE AND SIX WEEK OLD BABY OUT INTO A BLIZZAD ON *CHRISTMAS EVE* and left Morman land as fast as could! Never had a good thought about Utah or Mormons again.
Jesus that bigotry is awful I’m so sorry
When you said “blowout” I thought you were referring to your baby’s diaper 😂🫣
Some people in UT are quite prejudice and rude! So sorry this happened to you and your wife!
Wow…just wow
All I can say is:
Wtf. Yikes.
My grandparents are struggling with the rules. They’re struggling with wearing the garments with their ill health and disabilities. My grandad struggles because his mind isn’t stable and I think he forgets he’s a Mormon and an elder, and says annti Mormon things., and sometimes their ill health means they can’t attend church. And instead of helping them they shun them and have nothing to do with them unless they’re “perfect”. my grandad he couldn’t find his temple card in his wallet and they made my elderly parents go back home, but it was in his wallet all a long, he needed help and patients not to be turned away. They deserve compassion, and the church is being cruel and petty to them and it’s sad My nana can’t see it. They make poor elderly people pay their tithes even though they struggle to pay bills. My grandad would go to peoples houses to give sacrament (before his mind problems), but when my nana needed it they wouldn’t go to her. The church has no compassion for disabled or mentally unwell people. They make a big show of helping people when they first join up, but when things get difficult later they make people feel excluded.
that's so sad, what a horrible way to treat people
My mom was hospitalized for a month when I was little, and a few weeks after she got back home, confined to a wheelchair, my dad had the bishop come talk to her about being a better wife. He encouraged her especially to remember her wifely duties “in the bedroom.” I’m so sorry your grandparents are experiencing such cruel treatment. It’s horrible their disregard for people who are struggling.
@@branwynnemayJesus Christ... I can't imagine how ANYONE could hear that and not immediately think, "This is incredibly, deeply wrong, and I don't want to be part of this." I don't understand how a man can see his wife, a woman he's supposed to be bound to love, protect, and respect, to be sick, struggling, and wheelchair bound, and think "The problem here is that she isn't letting me fuck her," and I don't know how any woman could hear that and think "You're right, that is my bad, I need to do better."
The hold that Mormonism has on people is incomprehensible. If I'd ever had a bishop or archbishop in a Catholic church say anything like that, I don't know that I'd be able to stop myself from slapping or spitting on him and storming out of the church.
i am so sorry, while the church isn’t true in my eyes, what a huge comfort stolen from them when they need it most.
Wow! I am so sorry to hear about your grandparents difficulty. Unfortunately, church is not to serve people (how many homeless shelters have they built?) Church is to funnel money to arms merchants and keep good women busy.
For Alyssa: You're one of the UA-camrs that could easily branch out to other topics/niches due to just generally being a good presenter and making quality videos. I know there's an unlimited amount of ExMo stuff to go on for a long time, but it's probably worth keeping in mind if you have other areas you'd enjoy creating in. 😊
Fr, I would at the very least love to see her make more videos about other cults and religions.
I agree !! I also love her diction, from a non native speaker this is great !!!
Yes! I'm Italian, I don't know any Mormon and probably never will, and still I can't stop watching!
I agree! Love how thorough and easy to follow these videos are
The Coffee Paradox alone would force me to reevaluate the entire faith - the drink itself i could take or leave but its the principle of the thing: this is very obviously a purposefully confusing and convoluted list of rules used by the top rich men to control and subjugate the rank and file members FOR LIFE
If I serve a hot drink in a bowl with a spoon, then it's a soup and it's ok.
Yep, now you're understanding the prophecy
@@SnoopyReads Joseph Smith was just one of the spoon collectors, he wanted everyone to engage in the hobby
@@smalltime0 10 million people still worship him to this day, he did something right. Lmk when you manage to get 34 women to share you
@@SnoopyReads fair point. But Muhamad did better by that logic
@@PavewayIII-gbu24 yes indeed he did
I plan on leaving the church when I’m 18. Your videos have really helped me understand Mormonism on a deeper level. I knew I wasn’t a believer of the church in my early years of teen hood but admittedly I couldn’t stop believing. Mormonism really is a mental prison. It’s only recently- within this last year I’ve confidently been able to say I’m not Mormon at all. I can’t wait for my 18th birthday so I can leave and pick up a copy of your book :)
Good luck. Your open mind can help you a ton in life.
GIRL SAMEEEE this is my fake account. So excited to leave
I’m so happy for you! Good luck with your journey ❤
My dad's been an exmormon my whole life, but still participated in the church for my mom. He was teaching our primary class the word of wisdom, when he said coffee was against the WOW I got super scared and yelled "but dad! You drink coffee!"
And he drink it because he’s an “ex Mormon” 😂
Awww that is cute and sad all at once :/
@@alyssadgrenfell sad he compromised himself and didn't have the courage to leave and lived a lie.
ua-cam.com/video/mV4ZRAQdUno/v-deo.htmlsi=kdJolxEkb-nfDPbg
Discoveries like this (i.e., "dad drinks coffee", matched with "drinking it is against Wisdom", and "coffee is against my/mom's Mormonism") can be traumatic to kids. Given Brigham's historic motives against it, current church leaders should rewrite it to be consistent with medical and nutritional science.
I'm 61. 5th generation Mormon. I have recently left. Everything you've said has been taught at some point. My father is 94, raised in Utah, he has some great stories from the early days. (I'm lucky that my parents left Utah before I was born but I am now living in Utah...) In my opinion
Many of the things taught are fear based. They're scaring you into their heaven
I used to think that many aspects of Mormonism like storing emergency suppliers and not drinking tea and coffee was a sign that the church cared about its people. But now I realise it’s a sign of fear and control, to make people fear the collapse of civilisation, and seperate them from conventional society, they have to constantly worry about what the rules are.
Haha! Literally had to pause this video to answer the door… two young Mormon men on their mission! I had a nice chat with them and told them I was watching your video and thanks to you I understood much more of what they’re going through. I wished them well and made sure to mention your channel again as they left.
The interesting thing about the garments not being damaged is that the majority of time you are in some type of accident your core body parts aren't damaged. It's usually your arms, legs, hands, and feet because they are your mobile parts of the body. This is why the majority of your scars are on your hands, because you use your hands more than any other body part. The majority of injuries are on hands, arms, legs, and feet.
Defensive wounds, too. We use our limbs to protect the rest of our body and our vital organs.
Oddly, as I am old now, I have foot and hand arthritis but no belly button arthritis at all! I attribute this to the wearing of Mormon garments part of my life.
@@ExcludedShadowlolwut
@@jeffsaxton716lol, belly button arthritis is the worst!
@@jeffsaxton716, no naval hernias, either?
I'm a practicing member of the LDS Church, I got baptised in April, yet I get a lot of recommendations for your content. I don't always watch it for obvious reasons but when I do you are very informative and I do learn a lot (like the wine at sacrament thing, I had no idea about that!) and I have to give credit that this really is some quality content
The great thing about this channel is that it's very informative and typically respectful. Admittedly, her personal bias slips in at times but that's just a human thing to do.
What led you to get baptized and such? I’m a Christian and have always been curious about testimonies from other faiths ❤
Congratulations on joining the Mormon Mafia, Joseph Smith was a boss no matter what people say
@@rubypeterson665 That's a great question! I actually reached out to missionaries definitely in one of my low points in life, and at the time I really viewed the church in negative light having had seen the BoM musical and hearing all this stuff about polygamy and the FLDS. Ultimately though, I started taking lessons, my missionaries showed me this channel called Saints Unscripted who do really balanced arguments for a lot of the church's flaws, and eventually just through faith, prayer and becoming more educated I built a testimony that I'm now really proud of. Hope that makes sense :)
@@danielsturge9222 did you have any faith prior to discovering this church?
7:07 "coffee can keep you from being with your family forever"
*takes large sip*
I feel this deep in my soul 😂
Why don't you want to be with your family forever
@@jonathangattoMaybe because some families are horrible and abusive...?
Sometimes fondness make the heart grow absent.
@@jonathangatto Oh I wasn't speaking about myself, I just thought it was funny that she said that line and then cut-screened to herself drinking coffee lol
Your videos have been therapy for me in a weird way. Never Mormon but when I was in high school I dated a Mormon girl and we were sweet hearts Junior and Senior year. Her dad hated me, never wanted to interact with me and my family, never knew why. She broke up with me a week before graduation and she ended up going to BYU Idaho and got married after the end of her freshman year with a guy she met mid way thru her fall semester. After watching your videos about generational Mormons being a bit racist (I’m half Hispanic) and not liking churches like Catholicism, which I was, it definitely makes me feel more at peace in someways, instead of wondering “what did I do”
You claim to not be a good teacher and yet have such an apt way of speaking. It's quite pleasurable listening to your "double-lessons". You are in fact a great teacher, but maybe more so outside of the conventional classroom and within your comfort zone. Down to earth and critical thinker. Keep it up!
As an autistic person, all the inconsistent rules would drive me nuts! 😂
HAHA. More like anybody with a functioning non-sheep brain.
then don't become a Democrat
Funny you should say that, because (I'm autistic too) that's a large part of what drove me away
not to mention all the extra socializing at church
@@NatalieN500 OOF that part. "Shake hands with those around you!" Erm, no thanks. 😬
Me - a non mormon, watching ALL your videos, ALL the time. 😅 Your videos are so entertaining and interesting!
That's good because she spreads awareness.
she lies though
@@russellwaters2659 Nope, I'm afraid you've got her confused with Joey Baloney!
@@mylesmarkson1686 nah she lies about some things.
@@russellwaters2659 She speaks the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
Thank you for taking time to promote media literacy! It's so important to understand different perspectives and biases when evaluating the trustworthiness of things we read, especially online.
29:50 "never take part in watersports"
I had to do a little giggle since now leaving the church and coming out as gay... "water sports" took on an entirely different meaning
The moment I heard that I went, watersports, aren't they already forbidden from doing sex things
I’ll never forget skimming through the tags on ao3, thinking a fanfic looked pretty good, and then reading in horror as I realized my mistake😭😭😭
@@ellahusk3689 STOPPP oh my god same. Never again will I unlearn what "Dead Dove" entails.
@@xxwinter_skyesxxREAL. I remember being on call with my friend after I read that fic being like “Why does water sports mean that? I thought that they were just gonna be doing water polo like grandmas!” LMFAO😭😭😭
Yeah I’m British, that’s what it means here 😂
I love you taking a minute to talk about media literacy, "the intent of the content" is such an excellent way to remind us to keep us in check!
Re: "Hot" drinks. It was explained to me that this actually referred to drinks that are brewed from crops grown in hot climates, and therefore grown by mostly dark-skinned people, thus the taboo. So there's actually a racist underpinning to the admonition against coffee and tea.
Which doesn't really explain the fact that chocolate is allowed, but hey if logic applied to Mormonism then it wouldn't be Mormonism.
Insane and big if true (which I assume it is)
This would actually ban (Gasp shudder sob) HOT Chili, tacos, India cuisine and Thai!
@@jamesblossom-y1u those aren’t drinks friend
This would ban hot cocoa though…which is not ban
@@sarahk2924 I didn’t make the rule
I very much appreciate your side bar in media literacy and knowing the intent of the site publishing information and looking for primary sources or comparing multiple view points. The USA needs a critical thinking refresher anytime we can squeeze it in. Love your content, saw you on Mormon Stories and have been watching ever since.
Every strict/conservative church thinks their church is the true church, and everyone else is condemned to hell.
Thats how you keep people from leaving
If you believe in it we are ALL going to hell or equivalent.
There are more than 4,000 documented religions in the world. All the strict followers think their way is the only way. I choose none
You speak on content consumption so eloquently and in a way that makes me believe that you’re honest about it all.
My best friend in high school was Mormon. This is in South Australia, where there's really little to no religion. Until meeting him, in my tiny teenage brain, I honestly thought that religion was just not a thing that really happened here.
It was weird for a bit, I had no clue what it meant to be friends with him. I never understood why he would turn down a lot of seemingly mundane things.
I would poke fun at it a bit, and test the waters on occasion, see what I could get away with (nothing malicious, just normal teenage friend razzing) and it would just make him laugh! He would never crack.
He never got mad, never got upset, and most importantly, never EVER tried to talk about religion with me. It took me a long time to even notice that, and I have immense love for him more now, than I did even back then, because as an adult, I can look back and see how much pressure his religion, and even I as his friend would selfishly put him under, even if it was joking.
He could tell I wasn't interested in religion, and he never looked down on me, and never tried to change me or our dynamic over it.
Just out of school, we started a band together.
He actually started drinking with the rest of us (we NEVER offered it to him, it was 100% his choice). He was swearing, drinking, hanging out with questionable characters, we would watch South Park together (his favourite episode was the mormon episode) and we all just assumed he was drifting out of mormonism.
It was a total shock when, a few years after the band broke up and we hadn't talked for a while (nothing bad, just had adult stuff going on) he messaged me one day to say "hey, can we catch up soon? I'm going to be doing a mission for 2 years."
I couldn't believe it! Not that it mattered to me what he did, but I felt SO horrendous that for the past 4-5 years, I had been treating him like he was out of it all. I had done nothing to show him that I cared, and actively had talked shit about something that to my shock, must actually still mean so much to him!
Even the pre mission catch up we did have, he was like "I'm doing this for my parents."
I even said to him "Dude, I know you. I don't think you would put yourself through this if it wasn't something that you believed in. If that's what you want, then cool! I just hope you go and have a great time!"
And he responded with "yeah alright, I do actually just wanna go."
Like, sure, I am deeply, DEEPLY anti religious, I think it's evil, but if I had known he was gonna be still going out and doing his mission, still believing, I would have shown an immense amount of emotional support over the past whatever amount of years.
I've never forgiven myself for the shit I said about his beliefs because of my assumptions about his level of involvement. I should have shut my damn mouth.
He went on his mission, and I expected to hear nothing for 2 years. But out of nowhere! An email! I couldn't believe it. I was so happy that he cared enough to reach out when he could.
It wasn't until watching these videos from Alyssa, and hearing that he actually should not have been emailing me, that I can cherish that SO much more.
He eventually got back, and we caught up quite a bit that first 6-12 months back. He seemed to be heading down the "ok, my faith is going to be my entire life" route, and that was fine. I was only very happy for him that he seemed to be doing what he wanted.
I very awkwardly came out to him not long after he returned, and he did not care one bit that I am gay, and it changed nothing between us. I am SO SO SO thankful for that.
After a few catch ups though, I was noticing how he was getting sadder, and more cynical. He was looking tired, and was kinda going back to how we were in our band days. He was drinking again, he would talk about how bad his life has been, mostly about dating within the religion, and how horrible the experience has been for him emotionally. He was angrier, weirder, and pissed off about his friends and family in the church.
Any time we caught up, I would just let him let it all out. I'm pretty sure I was the only place he felt comfortable safely letting out his religious frustrations.
I would just sit back, let him let it all out, and assure him that the only thing that matters is his happiness. No matter what he chose.
There was a little bit where we didn't have much time to catch up. But then when we did one night, I was SHOCKED to see that he was the happiest I've ever seen him. He was making a living doing things that make him happy. Doing things that the church had always softly discouraged him from pursuing (music stuff).
He left Mormonism, and was the happiest and healthiest looking he had been since I have known him!!! Literally!!!
I've never really had the opportunity to let him know how much I care about him in this way, and how much I've learned from his journey. But, this channel and these stories make me wanna sit him down and give him this embarrassing "this is why I love you" chat 😂
I HATED my garments. We live in a desert, sure add an extra layer of uncomfortable clothing. Good think'n. They are in a landfill next to my temple cloths now.
no to coffee, but they sure do suck down sodas and anything with sugar.
Growing up Mormon, it drove me nuts seeing various LDS members down soda after soda with caffiene/sugar and yet saying my Grandpa and Grandpa were breaking the Word of Wisdom drinking their morning cup of coffee.
@@jeffsellers5468 exactly! Coffee is dirty water and caffeine. No diabetes, no rotten teeth, no bone softening.....
Yet it's a problem!?!?!
The amount of sugar that runs through the Mormon diet is crazy. I watch my family members go through the litre after a litre of soda. They eat ice cream by the gallon, candy is everywhere and let's not forget the cake, cookies and brownies at church functions.
Yeah, my coffee is going to keep me out of heaven........🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣
@@ceraroberts2691😂😂😂
The wearing a cross thing reminds me of a joke Bill Hicks used to tell. He said something along the lines of, "It's just weird to me. You think when that guy comes back he ever wants to see a cross again? It's like wearing a pendant of a rifle in memory of JFK." 😂
I saw Bill's stand up on that. The guy had it figured out.
@therealz360z7only religious people and racists (conservatives) discriminate your son-in-law based on what religion he practices or his ethnicity. Progressive nonreligious believe in your son-in-law's right to practice whatever religion he wants regardless of his ethnicity (that we don't discriminate against him for)
@therealz360z7 most of the Orthodox crhristians wear the cross
You get one when you are baptised
@therealz360z7 no offense but I feel like it's really weird to tattoo a six year old
In Catholic school, I had a teacher point out that it was like we were all wearing little guillotines around our necks. Funny but valid point
love the video!!!! I've recently dived deep into your channel. I'm not a mormon and never was. I was sent to a troubled teen facility in south jordan, utah. turnabout stillwater academy. the entire place was mormon ran and we were forced to go to mormon church on Sundays regardless of what religion we identified with. I'm from north carolina so it was a huge culture shock for me and I recognized it as a cult immediately. the cherry on top of being taken from my bedroom at 3am and being sent to utah was being forced to go to mormon church. the teachings of the church almost solidified every brainwashy twisted thing the staff said to me and I lost it. I actually for a minute thought the only way to save myself was if I converted. luckily I didn't. I was raised southern baptist and am now a proud atheist. alyssa, I love your work. keep doing what you're doing and I would LOVE to see a video connecting the troubled teen industry to the mormon church. much love :)
This was an interesting insight. I also definitely agree that exploring the connection between the Mormon church and troubled teen facilities would make for a fascinating topic for a future video.
I’m not even a mormon, I’m actually a mexican woman raised in a catholic household and now an agnostic but I’m OBSESSED with your channel haha… you’re awesome!!
Same! I’m Italian and a “cradle Catholic” but these are so interesting!
It used to be (1970’s) all about the caffeine. Decaf coffee was indeed allowed and ALL caffeinated beverages were NOT allowed.
Damn, I never heard that before! Decaf in the 70s??
@@alyssadgrenfell It was called Postum. All my Mormon neighbors drank that coffee. Coke was very taboo because of the caffeine.
@@Zeett09glad I’m not Morman and I can have my coca cola
Really? Dang!
@@Zeett09 Ahh, but for years - and maybe now - the LDS Church was a very major investor in COCA-COLA, INC. Interesting, eh? Utah is now a huge consumer of COKE products.
My grandfather is Mormon but my grandmother is not and never has been. He was a convert at 18, his whole family converted around the same time and he went on a mission, met her when he was in his early twenties. He was a lab technician at the hospital she was training to be a nurse at, she was always adamant that she wasn’t going to convert and he never pushed her, none of their children ever joined the church.
He did leave the church for a while, a bishop or something at one point told my grandpa that he needed to divorce my grandma since she wasn’t a member and it made him so angry he left. Not sure why he went back to be honest, though I guess he never stopped believing and he was never pushed to leave my grandma again (she is a member of the united church).
61 years they have been married and luckily for them their difference in belief have never really been an issue since that bishop. It’s pretty crazy how love can see past things like that.
He sounds like a very good man.
Good for them. I probably could never date anyone who had strong religious beliefs because in my mind it would mean so many other underlying issues were probably present.
@@tadcastertory1087 he really is.
@@helpfulcommenter my maternal grandfather was also a part of my grandma never converting (he came over as a child from Northern Ireland) though my grandma was also steadfast in her beliefs. When he was away from the LDS he went to church with her and their kids, I don’t think he went back until they were grown up. He only really told me all about his life this year as I moved in with them to save money while I went back to school, had a very full life where very little of what he’s done had anything to do with the church.
@@katsuxshakura that’s so interesting. Our forbears lives hold so much information that can explain things in our own lives. My grandfather died when I was young but he was raised LDS and never really fell into it as far as I understand. But I grew up hearing about all this family I “could never meet” who lived in Utah. It was like a total break with his roots and me living two generations later will never know blood relatives, at this point they are lost to us, and I assume most if not all are Mormon but we have no way to figure it out
I really love that your content is not hateful- Not a member of the church at all, but you come across as respectful, not demeaning. Honest about your experiences and transparent about the church. It's really interesting just for learning, and I think it probably makes your content more palatable to current members, because you're not making anyone out to be stupid even when you criticize practices. Just been binging your content the past few days and wanted to note that :))
As someone who holds a lot of resentment for the church because of my upbringing in it. She has a lot of self control, because when I talk about my upbringing in the Mormon church I am not nearly as respectful 😂
Maybe Mormon influencers are the reason athletic wear has become part of everyday wear for many women
Interesting theory.
I literally thought the same thing as I sit in my athlesure
Alyssa you cried during your video because you have a tender heart, never been Mormon but sympathize with you
I lost my ex-wife to mormonism.
She found a book in a hotel drawer, joined a cult, became a jesus freak, shamed me for being bisexual (eventhough im monogamous) tried to convert me against my will, and filled my room with dozens of bibles we DID NOT have the money for.
I had to leave her. Mormonism destroyed my marriage
It's one helluva drug!
That's terrible. I don't know why hotels have Bibles, it's very weird to me as someone who wasn't raised Christian. I was recently in a nice hotel in California and they had a Bible and book of Mormon in the drawer.
@@aly5321The Marriott family are Mormon, so all Marriott hotels have a Book of Mormon in the drawer
I'm sorry. That sounds tremendously difficult.
I remember telling Mormons in high school something about temple ceremonies and they said it’s not true and looking back I realize they had no idea
This is such a great concept!!
I’m seated
I hope you enjoy!! :D
Alyssa, you may not see this comment, but I just wanted to chime in with my own experiences because your content has helped me so much. I have been deconstructing from non-denominational Christianity and have been black sheeped by most of my family for my separation from the church. Thank you for making content like this, I've found a community of people that are going through something similar and it's been so incredible to feel supported in this time. It's so isolating to feel like you're turning your back on your whole family. Much love from Florida! ❤
I remember fighting with my mom as a teenager about coffee/tea because we had the same conversation of “well if it’s hot drinks why can’t I drink it iced? Why can we drink hot chocolate? Tell me the reason.” And eventually she just said “because that’s how it is!”
She wasn’t shocked when I dropped the church the month I turned 18 😂
Had the same conversation with my dad when I bought a mocha frappachino from Starbucks with coffee in it. “Well it’s not hot so it’s not an issue” and I would usually bring up his Mountain Dew addiction and that usually brought the conversation to a close lmao
@@gracier1123😂
Alyssa, you always have the cutest shirts on. You must be thankful you can wear whatever you want now. Love it.
A few months ago 2 missionary Mormon guys came knocking, they’re from the USA (I’m in Québec, Canada). I was raised in the evangelical Christian religion (the Salvation Army for us) thought we weren’t the most devoted members, we attended church every Sundays, and it’s also where i met my childhood friend when we were about 2 years old, we’re now 25 and she has a 2 years old daughter (her parents were the pastors, her dad’s still is but in another city) so I had a little bit background of God and stuff so I was polite with them and told them this path of life doesn’t lineup with my own values anymore, but I still listen out of respect (their French was pretty good😅). And now after this video, I’m can’t stop thinking of the undergarments they probably had when they came😂
Can't wait to watch this one! I'd love to see a future video from a feminist perspective on how the church influenced your views on marriage, motherhood and being a wife etc. Maybe how/if your marriage dynamics changed after deconstructing? Just a thought, love your vids!
Im Exmo, and I got out at around 13 when I was in the Idaho foster care system and wound up in 1 of the 3 foster homes that were not Mormon. This family was Some Sect Evangelical christian and helped me slowly deconstructed the Mormon shelf and showed me all the logical inconsistencies with Mormon doctrine.
Really surprised them 7 years later when I used the same tools to deconstruct the christian faith all together and became an atheist.
I grew up in SE Idaho, and went to school there. Technically it was a public school, but it was majority Mormon and we all knew it. The school conveniently bent over backwards to leave enough room for the Mormon church to exist through it. Dances, homework, we very lightly scrapped by evolution just enough to say that we learned it. After High School, social life just fell off. Like, there was NOTHING to do in town. So I had a friend of a friend who were in a singles ward. and I joined them for parties and events and hung out and basically just want "Nah, bro. I'm good" whenever they invited me to church.
When I was a kid, I found my dad burning garment markings in the backyard. I was so confused on what he was doing. He never saw me though. I had also found their aprons along with other temple clothing in my parents room and it scared me. I had no clue what they would wear those for. Growing up, I dreaded becoming adult in the church. So grateful I left this cult.
"so grateful I left this cult" lol stfu
I hated that it was a "secret" yet, I was expected to commit to it.
As a Jew, it’s kind of interesting you talking about the focus on the rules and rituals, and how they get skirted because like, a lot of Judaism is also focused on the rules and rituals, except in Mormonism skirting them is an exception because you’re supposed to follow them without really questioning, so if you make that personal leeway, that’s your thing but doctrine is doctrine from on high, while in Judaism the whole point is the discussion of the rules and their purposes and interpretations, we’ve got the famous midrash of The Oven of Akhnai (which also gets told as a joke because it’s structure let’s it work as either) in which god speaks from the heavens to share their opinion on the issue being discussed, to which the head rabbi of the majority (which god is against) quotes Torah to god, “the Torah is on earth not in heaven,” and basically says “yeah you’re god, so what? It’s now 2 to 20 instead of 1 to 20”
Aside from enjoying and learning from the video, I really like and appreciate the fact that you touched on media literacy. This is such an important topic that needs more discussion, now more than ever.
Just giving some fun inside in life of mormons outside of US. Lots of my russian mormon friends say that only black tea is prohibited which is very confusing. They also find coca-cola generally unhealthy so they drink russian herbal soda that actually contains some back tea and this situation is a very big topic of discussion.
есть русские мормоны??
Well, can’t really deny that coca-cola is unhealthy. Fair enough.
Because no russian can survive without a cup of strong black tea, better with cake)))))
@@keegster7167why not
@@korkinalina well it’s an American religion after all :/
Every time you go over the endowment ceremony with the signs and tokens, I think about how hard that would be for neurodivergent people... like that is a LOT to process.
Coming from a heavily ND family- not as much as you would think. It’s the routine of it, and the for the majority of the ceremony, you are isolated (women with women, men with men) in theater seating, watching an interactive video. There is occasional handshake with the temple worker. The prayer circle is only required if it is your personal endowments or you are in an exceptionally small session. But really, it’s the routine. It’s going to be mostly the same every time (if you consider that at any given time there are usually three version of the video played at random - ie which satan/adam/eve will we see today/).
I can see how some ND might struggle with it. I generally had to keep a silent fidget it my pocket to help me focus or I might fiddle with all the extra layers. And of course a couple *white* tic tacs- just in case.
Sacrament meetings (the main Sunday meetings) are/were harder for most of my family due to the forced (superficially social) interactions, and the crying/loud kids. My grandma often had knitting when I went with her to help. My dad would take notes in calligraphy. I sketched religious images.
When I returned from my mission, I was garment checked by this lady in my ward who said she saw my “bare midriff.” I’ve always loved to dress really cute and the night before I got home really late from work so I just took off my top garment while laying out my church outfit for tomorrow. My stomach BARELY showed- I mean you really had to be staring to see it just ride up a bit. After that moment, I knew I wouldn’t be going back to church....
7:08 omg that coffe sip is exactly why i love your videos
Ah, I now understand why there is an LDS church in my small city in the middle of Argentina. They don’t have to swear off mate! That would really be the sacrifice no Argentine is willing to make. Coffee and tea is cool, but mate is sacred. I’ve been watching your videos for a while (I’ve never been Mormon and I was very curious) and I find them very useful! Keep the good work.
I am so impressed with how knowledgeable you are to all the small details. You really are an expert. I really enjoy your guest that share their expertise. Thank you.
I bet you anything another reason why they stopped burning the garments is because they probably started making them garments with synthetic fibers. Synthetic fibers are plastic. It's literal plastic. Synthetic fibers don't burn. They melt. If you have a 100% polyester shirt you're gonna throw away, try burning it. It won't burn. It'll shrink away from the flame because it's melting. So if you tried to burn synthetic garments it wouldn't work. I think the garments are a cotton/synthetic blend. so it would work a little bit. but also there would be fumes from the burning plastic and people would get sick and it would be very difficult to burn (flame would keep going out) so it would be bad.
I'm confused, so do synthetic fibers burn? 😉
@@sweetsanddandy8639, they Melt!!!
@@sweetsanddandy8639it's plastic, they melt and may get a bit black, but they don't turn to ash the same way as Cotton or woood does
@@asiac3666 Yes. It was a joke to point out how often the OP repeated themselves.
Thank you for adding that bit about doing your own research and looking at different sources to build your own opinion.
I'm a true atheist, I don't believe any god exists and yet I've actually read quite a few of the most common and some not so common religious texts. I just thought it's important to read to understand more about history and why some people do what they do and also to make sure this really isn't for me.
My atheist parents always encouraged that and I took religion as a class in school too for years.
I've read pro and anti Mormon things and talked to real Mormon missionaries and definitely built my opinion about that belief system. I still won't treat any of the super young missionaries badly even if I think they believe in something completely ridiculous thought up by a very horrible man with some kind of mental health issue.
I love you channel. I am an ex Mormon myself. I was wondering would you consider making a video about all the different doctrines that have changed over the years?
I’ve learned more about changed doctrine post Mormonism than I ever learned in the church
Congrats for the great job explaining and answering so real questions I had about Mormons hahaha plus your speech is so good to understand, as I am a non native English speaker 😊
I appreciate your even and thoughtful analysis of what your experiences have been. You provide a balanced and careful view of a culture you were once deeply embedded in, but you aren't antagonistic to it. I appreciate how you are respectful of their views and behaviors while still being appropriately critical of them. I wish the discussion of various religions could be as calm and reasonable. We'd have a lot less conflict.
Hey Alyssa, I love your videos! Not an exmo or mormon, but I just thought you should know that every time I sit down to watch your longer form content, I make a cup of coffee and spike it with Bailey's in solidarity. Have a good day
I want to know more about Mormon vacation destinations in Mexico and Central/South America. I have seen Mormon tour groups when I was in Mexico, and for the brief times that I stood with their groups and listened to their guides, it was clear that they were getting a VERY different tour of some historical sites than I was.
Yes there Mayan ruins in Mexico and the tour guide asks if they are Mormon so they know which story to tell.
Ex-Mormon here, now a Buddhist. There's an interesting trend I've found between Mormonism's polytheistic nature and how a lot of Ex-mormons I've talked to deconverted/left the church: Those who leave the faith tend to gravitate towards pagan/polytheistic/spiritualist practices instead of joining a Christian sect. This is then followed by a progression to complete atheism in some cases. It's pretty prevalent in Utah (from what I've seen and talked with others about, at least), and I think it has to do with all the rituals and strange beliefs that the church engages in.
Feeling a little called out as I'm currently really into paganism and witchcraft lol. Satanism is also something I've been interested in but maybe more in an learning/fascination sense than seriously considering joining. But yeah, I felt that one.
"Coffee can keep you from being with your family forever".. Alyssa proceeds to drink a big mouthful of coffee. 😂 I'm here for it! 😂❤
Wow, embracing the cross and removing Moroni are BIG, STRANGE things. I was pretty devout growing up (am exmo now) and would always get a feeling of deep happiness in my heart when I saw a Moroni statue appear on the horizon. It felt very important and hopeful for me and was a real homeward call for me as a member in an area with a relatively low density of Mormons. It seems like they're eventually going to dilute themselves into insignificance if this is the way they're going.
That little sip of coffee after you tell the audience it can keep you from your eternal family is hilarious. And thanks for giving people a great lesson on analyzing the agenda of each web site folks encounter as they research anything including Mormonism. Everyone should keep agendas in mind with every source.
id love to see a video of all your post mormon "firsts" and what went into them! your videos are really fun to watch, even though i have zero connection to the church
Hi Ms. Alyssa!
Nevermo here, but I was raised in a household with 'cult light' beliefs. I "jumped ship" in my late teens, but the experience fostered an academic interest in authoritarian religions and how they often use mind control as a tool.
If I'm not mistaken, historically, Mormons have been rather militant. I've always seen their dietary restrictions as not only a way of reinforcing control but as a way of ensuring their soldiers were healthy and in 'fighting shape' as well.
Seeing as Mormonism has a heavy emphasis on recruitment, is it possible that these influencers receive a type of special dispensation from the church, enabling them to "skirt the rules" and present the many rules and regulations in a more secular and potentially appealing light?
Thank you for sharing your experiences and knowledge! I'm so happy that you're FREE.
No. One of the hardest things about being a Mormon missionary was teaching tithing, chastity, word of wisdom (coffee, tea, drugs, nicotine), etc. There was no sugar coating anything. If people weren’t living it, they couldn’t join.
Mormons aren’t currently "militant.” That was in the Brigham Young and Joseph Smith days. There are some weirdos that love their guns, but that’s more political party affiliation than religion.
Just discovered your channel and have been binge watching the videos ever since. I hear so many parallels between your Mormon background and mine coming from a very strict Southern Baptist background. Looking back to high school, it's no wonder to me now that one of my best friends was Mormon. The challenges we both faced were even more similar than I knew at the time. Thank you for such insightful and ultimately for me, healing, content.
Can't believe that Brendon Urie was Mormon. Something new learnt. :)
for some reason same, even though i knew he was born in utah lmaoooo
I think that’s where a lot of his religious snark comes from- I Write Sins Not Tragedies, Hallelujah, This is Gospel, etc.
The whole band was iirc. Dallon Weekes is still practicing and had a hard time on tour. I think there were vines about it lol (source: an elder emo)
@@GothMagpie WHAT??!???😭😭😭 you’re telling me i went to a idkhow but they found me gloomtown tour show & no clue he was struggling oh no:( well i’m glad he’s accepting, im in FL & he wore the trans flag on stag, that made me so happy :D
@@ryguy56 oh man that sounds rad I last saw him at a panic gig in ‘14 I think
I don’t know if he struggled so much on his own band tours but touring with panic was where I remembered there being issues around everyone else drinking and whatever?? Again, I think there are old vines from that tour where he’s eating cereal or somethin haha
Pretty rad dude anyways. The Brobecks still goes hard
I was not expecting to get Online Research Tips & Best Practices in this video, but really appreciated it.
So wild to me that the organization that taught me the phrase "Follow the spirit of the law, not the letter of the law." struggles SO MUCH with that distinction.
I was told once by a very good Mormon friend that one of Joseph Smith's wives was tired of cleaning spilled coffee stains from her tablecloths and then there was this miraculous new revelation that Mormon's could no longer drink hot beverages
The media literacy lesson 🥹 the stuff this world needs! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Loved your media literacy rant 💕💕 thank you, Principal Grenfell
I would love to see videos with ex’s of other religions and branches of Christianity. I grew up super conservative evangelical baptist and would love to watch you talk through Mormonism vs evangelicals with someone who grew up like I did. I loved the video you did with that guy who was Jehovah’s Witness.
When the first question came up, I went, "Oh, Orson Scott Card right?"
Then Melissa listed a bunch of actual celebrities, half of whom I haven't heard of.
Realization: I'm a nerd.
The no coffee rule and the so called prophet drinking it reminds me of those cult leaders that prohibit random stuff to the people on their cult just to prove that they have the power to do so and if they question it they get punished.
CONTROL.
CONTROL.
CONTROL... 😢
Another weird thing about garments is that Mormons don't seem to even realise that "garment" is a perfectly normal word without a special Mormon connotation. I'm not Mormon, but I'm wearing a garment right at this moment, several of them actually! Because to everyone except Mormons, a garment is simply any article of clothing. I have yet to hear a post-Mormon commenter pick up on this fact.
When you were talking about your learned fear of water and the other peoples experience saying they think you’re nuts and they never were taught that, I was thinking we all internalized different parts of various aspects of our lives in entirely individual ways. I’ve been in several different religious organizations, and when I read and hear things from other former members, I often think my experience was so different and when you’re talking about your experience, I have different memories or different viewpoints. For example, I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and later soon after became a Mormon as I was primed and ready fora religion that was very exclusive and told me that you had to find the right religion. That was one of the things I got out of my first religion is that there is “one true religion”. Methodists and Presbyterian are not so exclusive. They do not play the “if you’re not part of this church you’re not going to please god” game from my experience. To me, that pretty much put them out of the running so far as an acceptable religion.
Like I said, we all take different things from our experiences in the world and in religions.
The mental image of someone ceremonially burning what is essentially long underwear is so funny to me, all I can picture is that meme of Elmo with flames reflected in his eyes. I understand why they changed that for optics lol.
Lol! Yeah, that underwear has to have gotten pretty bad that all there's left to do is burn it. 😀
When I went through the temple in 1983, I'm pretty sure I was instructed by my father that I only needed to cut out and burn the marks. The remainder could just be discarded.
A small correction about Tonga: like you were saying a bit before that point, trying to get a percentage of active members is hard but 60% is the mormon church's number. Only around 1/3 of those people actually self identified as mormon on a census.
It’s quite interesting to have this new perspective on MTC (as mentioned in a prior video) and then the system of discipline while serving the mission. It reminds me very much of basic/AIT where you MUST be at all times with your battle buddy or you get smoked. I loved land nav even though it sucked because I was finally able to be alone with my thoughts in the forest (even if I was soaking wet and cold). It’s also a bit of a shock to be, as an adult, treated like you very much aren’t an adult.
Difference primarily being that we end up doing/learning something useful with the training. And get paid for it.
54:26 Funny thing about this hymn is that I grew up an Evangelical Christian and I recognized the song as you were singing it.
I realized that the reason I recognized it is the music this hymn is set to is from "My Redeemer" which is a DIFFERENT Christian hymn that I sung as a kid.
Apparently some LDS churches sing both versions of the hymn which I find incredibly fascinating.
Glad to have my weekly dose of grenfell! I've learned more about exmo life than I ever didn't know through Alyssa
Also id love to hear more about Warren Jeffs and the difference between FLDS and LDS
On the topic of dressing modestly as a kid to “prepare”- I was raised in a super devout household by my grandparents, and we were going on a trip to visit my mother and siblings when I was maybe 7 or 8. My siblings all wanted to go swimming, but I hadn’t brought a bathing suit and had to go buy a new one. The only one piece bathing suit they had available was a halter neck, and I sobbed in the store about how I couldn’t go because it wasn’t modest enough… even though it was very much a fully covered bathing suit. My grandparents told me that it would be okay to wear, and that it was the best I could do in the circumstances, and applauded my effort for caring. You know what though? I still didn’t go because it wasn’t modest enough for me to feel comfortable, and I spent the following hours crying in the backseat of the car alone. That’s what this “modesty culture” can do to young girls- it makes some of us so scared and ashamed that not even a reassuring word can undo it.
That scripture says “hot drinks” verbatim. But the restrictions are hodgepodge? So unserious. 🤦🏾♀️
I was happy to hear some of the songs. I have always been curious about that.
That’s funny you didn’t have coffee cake even though there’s no coffee in it.
Why do they call it coffee cake if there’s no coffee in it???
@@alyssadgrenfell It's to be eaten for breakfast with coffee.
ha ha I wonder if British Mormons (there must be some) have to rename afternoon Tea.
I’ve had that american ‘coffee’ cake but there definitely is actual coffee flavoured cake in the UK called coffee cake. Endless confusion ensues!
@@jameshealy4096I looked in my old Joy of Cooking which had several recipes for yeast and non yeast ‘coffee cake’ but no explanation of the term . ‘Bread and Coffee cakes’ is a whole chapter separate from ‘Pies and pastries’ and ‘cakes, cupcakes, torten and filled cakes’.
I think coffee cake was intended to be eaten as breakfast, brunch or a snack. Other types of cakes were intended as dessert. So coffee cake might have a sweet fruit inside or streusel topping but not frosting. You certainly wouldn’t put candles on it for a birthday!
I could imagine that England would consider coffee as more of a flavor, since their default beverage would be tea rather than coffee. Here in the US we threw our tea into Boston Harbor. We wouldn’t dare serve a guest such an unpatriotic drink!
Such an interesting video. Thanks for sharing! You’re so great at explaining things. And I loved the singing!
“devil bean juice”. I’m going to use that.
And every time you let one rip, a demon gets his horns!
Not sure how this channel popped up on my feed but I’m fascinated!
Can you imagine thinking, "catholicism isn't strict enough for me"?
I have a bachelor's degree in opera and I think you have a lovely head voice with a nice vibrato! The song (psalm?) is higher than more contemporary songs, but your voice manages beautifully.
Alyssa it would be so interesting if you could do a deep dive into Ballerina Farm and all their shenanigans. Also I saw on Facebook that a prominent Utah Mormon couple, Olin and Kerilyn Johnson died in a murder suicide in June. There seems to be a weird theme of these ultra “perfect” families and the extreme internal pressure that exists due to the LDS ideology. Anyways would be intriguing to hear your take on this type of high flying wealthy Mormon couples gone wrong. Edited to add Tausha Haight and her 5 kids murder/suicided by her husband last year. Also Mormons.
Oh I wanted to add that I also find it bizarre that in all the posts about the Johnson case made by all the LDS friends and family, not one peep about how this was a case of domestic violence. Everyone talking about the situation like they both died in a car crash and not a murder/suicide. Truly bizarro
I grew up Baptist so most of what I know about Mormonism comes from you, I do however know a few things about Freemasonry because all of my family grew up in freemasonry so I am SO interested in your upcoming video about the intersection of the two.
As somebody who was born and raised in Illinois, I feel pride that it was one of our people that killed Joseph Smith.
Hey Alyssa, I just recently found your channel. and as a fellow exmormon I am genuinely enjoying your content so much. Have you considered touching more on the FLDS and their relation to the LDS Church? I know the LDS Temple has said they do not condone the practices of the FLDS and do not wish to be associated with them, but a lot of people who did not grow up in the Mormon church don't know many of the differences!