DON'T BE NASTY: How to Give CRITICISM POLITELY and Constructively without being RUDE

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  • Опубліковано 7 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 126

  • @Agato4ka1200
    @Agato4ka1200 4 роки тому +11

    You are sooo charismatic, and thanks to that your lessons are really effective because I memorise exactly the way you say an expression or a rule. You are a gifted teacher! Thanks a lot for your impressive work.

  • @Ingwar-ov2it
    @Ingwar-ov2it 4 роки тому +18

    British politeness is something we might want to follow in our daily life 💂‍♂️🇬🇧

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому +3

      Yes, indeed. Though not everyone there is so polite.

    • @Ingwar-ov2it
      @Ingwar-ov2it 4 роки тому +3

      @@LetThemTalkTV At least you the British do your best to be as polite as it takes in every situation. It always works for both sides 🤝

  • @Kehich
    @Kehich 4 роки тому +7

    I'll try to give a prosaic answer.
    I'd say to my friend: "I'd suggest you to keep your bank job, for now. You might want to keep improving your writing skill with practice, patience and all the free time you have, because i sense a great desire for it - in you. If i were you, i would wait and see the progress of writing mastery." The last sentence would be "When the time comes i will give you my holistic conclusion" but it doesn't suit the lesson's sentiment.
    Again, my sincere gratitude to you, Gideon. You make the world a better place.

  • @renzovalentini7975
    @renzovalentini7975 3 роки тому +4

    Thanks for the great video. "Always show kindness" is a precious piece of advice, something we really need to do, especially in times when nastiness seems to be justified or even encouraged by some narrative as a form of uncompromising, straight honesty, opposed to a hypocrite facade of politeness. Telling the honest truth in a way that is both effective and non offensive is something highly desirable indeed. Some languages and cultures, such as English and Japanese for instance, have mastered this art through indirect expressions.
    When it comes to making a choice between honesty and politeness though, especially when addressing a friend, I think we should definitely find the most sensitive way, but in no case should truth ever bow to pleasantries. The situation suggested in the video, reminds me of some verses of "Ambulance Blues", a song by Neil Young that goes:
    "...And there ain't nothing like a friend
    Who can tell you you're just pissing in the wind..."
    By the way, Steve and Billy scene was really hilarious.

  • @mamymimma
    @mamymimma 4 роки тому +14

    I was flattered when you mentioned Italy and loved your ohibò 👏
    By the way, that scene really took place in my life: an amateur asked my dad ( a theatre director ) what he thought about her play - to avoid offending the lady, he replied " Just what I expected of you" ... She took it as a compliment, which actually wasn' t at all 😏

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому +4

      Great story. Your dad sounds like a wise man.

  • @ksw961
    @ksw961 4 роки тому +13

    You're the best english instructor,, your videos are always creative and informative THANK YOU!!

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому

      Thanks for your comment. You are the best.

  • @user-tk3bp8hx1n
    @user-tk3bp8hx1n 4 роки тому +9

    Thanks a lot Gideon! Always delighted to see your new videos. Like as ever!👍🌈🍀

  • @simong8527
    @simong8527 4 роки тому +25

    I would say: If I were you I would keep my job. You could write in your free time and look how it goes. follow your dreams slowly but surely without harming your income :)

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому +2

      Yes, good one. it's bitter-sweet.

    • @simong8527
      @simong8527 4 роки тому +3

      @@LetThemTalkTV why 😭 I thought I was sincere but nice. Well anyway the point was to not be nasty 😁

    • @Krasbin
      @Krasbin 4 роки тому +2

      If I where you. You have a good job, a stable foundation. But it is not your passion. Your passion is writing. If I where you, I'd keep the job and work on writing as a hobby to start with. You can hone your skill as a writer while you don't need to worry about your next meal. If your writing takes of, you can always quit your job and follow your passion.
      Btw, I read your manuscript. I can see that you're really into it. And I also have some ideas it how it could be improved: ...
      (That is about as subtle as I could make it, but the feedback about the bad manuscript has been reframed into "honing your skill" and "I have some ideas of how it can be improved".)

  • @Selene-u3X
    @Selene-u3X 4 роки тому +4

    Thank you so much dear teacher!As always, nice enjoyable lessons from you!Sometimes it could be hard to tell the true..but you clearly explained how to do it in a kind,polite way!Lovely evening!:)

  • @CGO374
    @CGO374 4 роки тому +14

    I’d like to say her”You are a capable woman ,If I were you, I would work at the bank and keep writing”

  • @fslakoh
    @fslakoh 4 роки тому +2

    about Susan :
    1rst proposal :
    That's wonderfull, but you are too much in advance on your time. People are not ready to appreciate your talent !!!!
    2nd proposal :
    I love particularly the construction of the story and the way you cease your carachters in a so living way. But you might want to concilate your job and your art.
    3rd proposal :
    Take your colleguees or clients as inspiration for your carachters. But keep on writing

  • @miyuden4118
    @miyuden4118 4 роки тому +8

    If someone gives a dining board as valentines gift, he's better off giving nothing at all.

    • @korsavasci
      @korsavasci 4 роки тому +4

      He said "ironing board" not dining 08:51. Your sentence still makes sense for both I agree.

  • @monicas.701
    @monicas.701 4 роки тому

    History had your record of positive impact and the impact is still very much alive because of its lasting effect on us !!!!! THANKS TO A WELL- DESERVING TEACHER !!!!!!!!!!

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому

      We try to make interesting and educational videos. I'm happy to read that you are learning from them.

  • @user-kn6hc3mk5d
    @user-kn6hc3mk5d 4 роки тому

    Cheers, Gideon. Stopped by to tell you that your videos not only make me smile and brighten my day but in fact, they are quite educational. Keep up the good stuff! Many thanks (:
    To ur question: I would say to my friend she could follow her dream if that is truly her heart's desire. But first to earn some money she could live on coz writers, especially in the beginning do not profit from their literary works.
    I do not believe that my advice could be a turning point for anybody coz in the end each person decided for themselves.
    I feel that till you have your own way you will never be at peace with yourself anyhow.
    Have yourself a wonderful day, love

  • @flaviangsm2
    @flaviangsm2 2 роки тому

    Even this video was recorded on pandemic , this man is awesome , i really enjoy what he is doing and the way he doing it.

  • @lauraleeogan7523
    @lauraleeogan7523 Рік тому

    ❤ Even for native English speakers these are helpful hints. ❤

  • @Nascimento095
    @Nascimento095 4 роки тому +1

    I would say her to follow her dreams, improve her skills and keep on this way.
    Thanks for your job on UA-cam!

  • @fjlugos
    @fjlugos 4 роки тому

    My first language is spanish. You are a owesome teacher, extremely clear explain the theme and particularly funny. Thank

  • @LaLora72
    @LaLora72 4 роки тому +1

    I discovered your channel a few weeks ago and I love your lessons! About this video, I've always said: "Don't you think it would be better..." instead of "You don't think it would be better". Is there a reason why, in a question, we put the subject first? Many thanks and cheers from Bologna, Italy.

  • @stephanestephane4291
    @stephanestephane4291 4 роки тому

    I would just tell her to do whatever she wants and that I don't give a fuck what she does or writes so long as I can give her a fuck whenever I want.
    I couldn't be more diplomatic.
    You Sir have the knack to set situations in your vids that deeply print words and phrases in our memory !

  • @ildikofarfix5554
    @ildikofarfix5554 4 роки тому +1

    Great video! :) I wonder if you could make a video on the exceptions to the if-clause rules: will/would after if, among others. I think a lot of students would appreciate it :) thx a million

  • @kerbicz
    @kerbicz 3 роки тому

    I hope I won't be nasty when I make a remark that Billie never intended to make his young heroes marry. _Romeo and Juliet_ was modelled on the ancient Pyramus and Thysbe story, where both lovers die.
    A reference to Pyramus & Thysbe appears also in _Midsummer Night's Dream,_ btw.

  • @englishthroughfootball4644
    @englishthroughfootball4644 4 роки тому

    Thank you, Gideon !

  • @subscriberswithoutanyvid-nv4fn
    @subscriberswithoutanyvid-nv4fn 4 роки тому

    To save your precious time 😩
    1. Be kind
    And that's all

  • @samanadam2442
    @samanadam2442 4 роки тому

    Thanks 🌹

  • @gabrielepoggi1079
    @gabrielepoggi1079 4 роки тому

    Another excellent video which I watched with great pleasure!
    Thank you!
    G.

  • @frutonana
    @frutonana 3 роки тому

    I'll record a video about politeness and take this situation as an example

  • @sergiosorbo6955
    @sergiosorbo6955 4 роки тому +1

    Great as always!! Try not letting us waiting too long, please!

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому

      Thanks. You are right, I'll get my skates on.

  • @justastudent6243
    @justastudent6243 2 роки тому +1

    1:53 hilarious

  • @queennadya1937
    @queennadya1937 4 роки тому +1

    ❤ from Indonesia!

  • @evgeniichekunov5377
    @evgeniichekunov5377 4 роки тому +1

    Well, I wouldn't take such a huge responsibility saying/advising what to do. Rather, I would try to explain different results of her/his decision , asked to think thoroughly on the matter and then make up his/her mind.

  • @rickebuschcatherine2729
    @rickebuschcatherine2729 2 роки тому

    Most of the time, it's people we don't know and with law education who said follow your dreams... so thanks to clear that. And another sentence we have in France, I don't recall to have heard it said by stanger, it' 'vivre de sa passion'.... How you translate that ? ... it's very a devasted sentence which so many times makes thinking that you can enjoyed to earned you life by accomplish almost nothing correctly.... and because it dosen't work makes the people more manipulatives and more selfish to achieve this goal.... So thanks to say that at the end.... Yes I have the case... but not for writting... but to have holliday to dance Flamenco in Spain, a poorly educated women ( as we say in French 'bac pro en comptabilité" ) wants to quitte her jobs full time to have some jobs taken at the last time by oppotunity... I don't know who give her such advice... but it's a very bad advice... But she couuldn't listen any good advice in any way.... And you could had You know, J.K. Rowlings, one of a best writer of his generatioon, try to earn her llife in other way durings yeas ( she works in an association, teauc english in Spain and after in England).... Because even for a good writter, with high level of education ( she goes in The Sorbone at Paris after hers studies in ENgland) it's not that easy.... When we say in France, Don't sell the fur of the bear befor kill it....

  • @mfst100
    @mfst100 2 роки тому

    2:59 You should have crossed at the light if you want to win at court, otherwise you just should have look around before you crossed.

  • @mohamedmifras8274
    @mohamedmifras8274 4 роки тому +2

    Sir,
    Could please conduct
    Getting,having,letting
    When , where and how to use?
    Could do you please?

  • @amandakuo4590
    @amandakuo4590 4 роки тому

    best teacher like always

  • @raymeester7883
    @raymeester7883 4 роки тому

    How has the BBC not picked this up?

  • @pasixty6510
    @pasixty6510 4 роки тому +2

    I learned a lot from this video. Thank you so much.
    4:00 Pronunciation is very important... You should show phonetics on screen more often.

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому +1

      Thanks for your comment. I do sometimes use the IPA. I might do it more often.

    • @lauraleeogan7523
      @lauraleeogan7523 Рік тому

      Another way to put this might be: COULD you show phonetics on the screen?

  • @art0606
    @art0606 3 роки тому

    I have difficulty to use the contractions such as should’ve it works better to me should have. Is it wrong do not use the contractions? By the way I am your fan fantastic band proper British English teacher

  • @nahlaharba1908
    @nahlaharba1908 4 роки тому

    Thanks much. ❤️❤️❤️

  • @abozeekoo2022
    @abozeekoo2022 4 роки тому

    Hats off for you
    Dunno why but you are always reminded me of Charles Dickens

  • @79oahu
    @79oahu 4 роки тому

    You tell her that, from what you’ve heard, the writing world is tough to break into....very competitive. And that it would probably be best if she hold on to the job that brings a guaranteed paycheck while she tries to get her work published. If you can’t bring yourself to read her entire manuscript, you give it back, telling her you read several chapters, and that it shows real promise. You could then excuse yourself for not reading it all by explaining that it isn’t your genre, so you’re having a hard time finishing it. You’re into historical fiction, sci fi, whatever her book is not😊

  • @antoniocastillo5382
    @antoniocastillo5382 4 роки тому

    Thanks mate

  • @briwaff8620
    @briwaff8620 4 роки тому

    Many thanks for your efforts,i d like more to get a talk with you one day

  • @bettyangwenyi1797
    @bettyangwenyi1797 4 роки тому

    This is gr8! One question: "You could've told me that people were watching," she retorted. I've come across a level of sarcasm or nastiness with could've, should've, might want to, don't you think, have you tried...I suppose intonation matters a great deal. Thanks for reading. :)

  • @korara3508
    @korara3508 4 роки тому

    i think if you talk faster and words about specific subject(Like corona virus vocabulary),your lesson will get better .
    And thank you for your channel

  • @abeersyrianforever4578
    @abeersyrianforever4578 4 роки тому +1

    I will say : do not be the killer of your dreams.......thank you for this poilte english

  • @octavianeandracles5868
    @octavianeandracles5868 4 роки тому +1

    this video is sponsored by the Happy Cabbage. Please try our cabbage sushi. It's a raw cabbage but in a way more expensive taste.

  • @rosabrasil4893
    @rosabrasil4893 4 роки тому

    I do love your lessons.❤
    By the way, I have a neighbor who has got an Indian guest. Oh my, Indian English accent is not music to my ears at all. I'm sorry if I'm being nasty, but couldn't resist sharing it. Au revoir!

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому +1

      Thanks for your comment. With accents it often depends who is speaking. Sometimes the Indian accent can sound warm and musical.

  • @gianlucac.8944
    @gianlucac.8944 4 роки тому

    Excellent work! Packed with useful contents and very well crafted. I guess you're quite a perfectionist: it's all or nothing, right? Although, if I were you ... you might want to... Nah! Never mind! Just keep up with the good work, I'll be patiently looking forward to your next video!

  • @gemucca
    @gemucca 4 роки тому +16

    I'd say to her: "If I were you, I wouldn't give up the day job".

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому +4

      It's cruel but correct

    • @gemucca
      @gemucca 4 роки тому +1

      @@LetThemTalkTV I know, haha, but I'd use it just in case of a dear friend.

  • @semplicementeanita6563
    @semplicementeanita6563 4 роки тому

    I'd tell Susan that she might reconsider changing her profession for the time being and take some writing courses in the meantime in order to pick some tricks of the trade which might come handy when her novel actually becomes a bestseller😁

  • @Aivar09
    @Aivar09 4 роки тому

    Thanks!

  • @qahtanalkaabi8247
    @qahtanalkaabi8247 4 роки тому

    Can you tell a story about Iraq specifically you have got Agatha Christie writing about it here novel they came to Baghdad.

  • @azadsrmg
    @azadsrmg 4 роки тому

    thanks again

  • @stefaniechong9640
    @stefaniechong9640 4 роки тому

    If I came across this situation, I would say : " Do you really want my brutally honest answer? Well, if I were you, I would stay the bank job." :)

  • @jollysharma9389
    @jollysharma9389 4 роки тому

    I would say watch let them talk and improve yourself

  • @alexanderpadalka5708
    @alexanderpadalka5708 4 роки тому

    🗽

  • @TuLe-iw5eh
    @TuLe-iw5eh 4 роки тому

    Sir
    Chu cua ngai toi cho xoay 720 do huong
    No thanh do all thing

  • @Tony32
    @Tony32 4 роки тому +1

    I would probably start off with a white lie like: I see a lot of potential but...your work needs a lot of improvement, have you considered taking writing lessons? If I were you I wouldn't quit the bank job just yet.

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому +2

      Yes, in fact I would use a similar strategy.

  • @misbahkhan2137
    @misbahkhan2137 4 роки тому

    Mr.Cockney

  • @AlePaoletti
    @AlePaoletti 4 роки тому

    Bought a pet croc. Got bitten. His friend tells him he shouldn't have got. Feels offended. He should have gone to the shrink

  • @riyanzainudin6047
    @riyanzainudin6047 4 роки тому +1

    Do you know Indonesia? That is my country. Would you come here sometime? I'm really interesting to you, i would learn one by one about english with you, sir.
    Thanks

    • @rezza2507
      @rezza2507 4 роки тому +2

      Hi, Riyan! How do you do? I'm Indonesian, too. I'm really *interested in* you. I would *like* to learn English with you, Sir.

    • @riyanzainudin6047
      @riyanzainudin6047 4 роки тому

      @@rezza2507 okey...thanks Rezza for your correction!

    • @rezza2507
      @rezza2507 4 роки тому

      @@riyanzainudin6047 You're welcome! Okay, that's all for today. Have a hump day! Hump day means Wednesday.

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому +1

      I would love to visit Indonesia

    • @rezza2507
      @rezza2507 4 роки тому

      Indonesia is widely-recognised with its cordial hospitality and cultural diversity. 🇮🇩 Please visit Indonesia. 🇮🇩

  • @susansusan4770
    @susansusan4770 3 роки тому

    SHE SHOULD FOLLOW HER DREAMS BUT SHE SHOULD BE TOLD THE TRUTH OR ELSE SHE RISKS POVERTY AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE LONG RUN. TELL HER NOT TO GIVE UP HER JOB AND ENCOURAGE HER TO TAKE SOME CREATIVE WRITING CLASSES. IF SHE HAS POTENTIAL HER TEACHER WILL HELP HER DEVELOP IT. IF NOT, THEN IT IS UP TO HER WHAT TO DO.

  • @azharabbas5108
    @azharabbas5108 4 роки тому +1

    i would suggest her/him politely to improve and some motivation ...

  • @joaquinaltamirano199
    @joaquinaltamirano199 4 роки тому

    Dear Sir or Ma'am would you read my book? It took me years to write, will you take a look?
    Come on Paul! If I were in your shoes, I'd conserve my steady job.
    Try having another dream.
    By the way, you shouldn't've call your man 'Lear'.
    Bad joke here, cheers from Argentina and thank you.

  • @howruhowru1592
    @howruhowru1592 4 роки тому

    I'd say: Don't give up your day job my dear! ;)

  • @umarsyed7538
    @umarsyed7538 4 роки тому

    And don't be hasty either.

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому

      The hasty man eats his soup with a fork.

  • @mykolakanyuk
    @mykolakanyuk 4 роки тому

    Are you in Paris?

  • @DCharIAA
    @DCharIAA 4 роки тому +2

    Why not *criticise* ?!

    • @rezza2507
      @rezza2507 4 роки тому

      The easiest thing to do is to criticise. It's easy to criticise, but how are you contributing? "Criticism is always easier than constructive solutions." (Jason Lenier). Criticism is of two kinds. The constructive criticism aka positive criticism is one whose purpose is to help the man at the helm. A wake up call, a friendly reminder, a call to reform and improvement. When one criticizes in good faith, with the intention to help, the criticism should be focused on the action, on the deed and not on the honor and self-respect of the person. Negative criticism is one whose only intent is to malign, to libel and to besmirch the reputation of the man at the helm.

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому

      You explain it perfectly

    • @rezza2507
      @rezza2507 4 роки тому

      @@LetThemTalkTV Thank you so much.

    • @rezza2507
      @rezza2507 4 роки тому +1

      @@amii665 you are right. that was correct. thank you so much / much obliged.

    • @rezza2507
      @rezza2507 4 роки тому +1

      @@amii665 I really appreciate it.

  • @user-ye5kj9hr7b
    @user-ye5kj9hr7b 4 роки тому +4

    You don't think it would be better to post such videos daily??

  • @mgedier
    @mgedier 4 роки тому +1

    It's Ok, but, couldn't you write at night and work in the day at the bank? And, if you want to be a writter, don't you think you could take some literature lessons? I bet you might want to pay some lessons, I know a friend of mine. That would be great! Trust me.

  • @rickebuschcatherine2729
    @rickebuschcatherine2729 2 роки тому

    You know when you show kindness ten or an hundred times just to stop harassement, (that people always get confused with kindness!!!) for something you can don nothing, and yoou give all yoyr time to help people who haras you.... There 's a time you must find a way to be firm.... and the admistration create to help you don't help you if you're worless, even more if you have an handicap... so perhaps it's time in France, to stop that langage that only encourage selfishness.... But I know Gideon, that you have a good pupose to do that... Kind way of talking is more nowadays a methood to be selfish, specifictly with people who have power even a litle, and very low educated people... I see that every days in France for so long... it 's time to have another langage... and to learn to listen, and to reciprocate the act of the people who have doing something for you instead of helping people in the hope they reciprocate... thinks that's they never do... That what's it's teach in bouddhism, and believe me, it's more efficient.... But you'e a english teacher, the subject has to be done, only because of the way people behave in France, just moderate your speech... Thanks....

  • @davidgreen7392
    @davidgreen7392 4 роки тому

    Of course, Shakespeare did not write those writings...

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому +2

      A pity that Billy is not here to defend himself

  •  4 роки тому

    When is your next video? :D Keep it up! Would you like to be UA-cam friends? :]

    • @LetThemTalkTV
      @LetThemTalkTV  4 роки тому

      Thanks, next one coming soon. We are all friends here.

  • @TuLe-iw5eh
    @TuLe-iw5eh 4 роки тому

    Toi khong ve duoc 3 cai man hinh trai dat phia sau gay
    Toi cung khong cheo duoc to bao sau gay
    Nhung nguoi ve thi lai hieu trai dat hon chinh
    Con nguoi sx the xanh voi to dolas

  • @fatmaadel2298
    @fatmaadel2298 4 роки тому

    I think your job in the bank is worthy and profitable so if I were you, I would not left it.