18:00 >>> this is all so so real. it took a long time to accept that life can be truly, and finally, good without it being what I considered ‘desirable’. oki, I just got to the end. i’ve been realising lately how much anxiety rules my life; despite never considering myself an anxious person whatsoever. from the never ending exhaustion, due to the hours upon hours of tossing and turning, to all the insane inhibitions and self concepts I put and define upon myself. I’m so scared to fail life and the people around me, that the way I seek any sense of control over that, aside from what I can do through actions, is being insanely hard on myself and my body. I’m learning to be kinder, but fuck, it’s hard.
@@indy1107 It is a truly a challenge when society shows you 300 ways to 'live aesthetically and productively', and you come to find that doesn't make you happy. Anxiety is sneaky like that. It masks itself as the truth, as your intuition, as you! In therapy I have been tasked to give a face to my anxiety and inner critic, I chose the snake from the original jungle book film. It helps me characterise and compartmentalize my darkest thoughts, and blame it upon that little snake in my head. Perhaps you could benefit from this too! 🩷
Hey Charlie! I’m starting uni again in a couple weeks after working for a couple of years and am nervous about the social aspect too I love what you said about having your own back and keeping a promise to yourself that you will leave if you are no longer enjoying it Well done for getting through your first day, even with all the challenges it bought 🙏
@@charlottec158 hi Charlotte! You are going to be absolutely magnificent. You are so brave for going back into education. I hope it brings you exactly what you seek to get out of it. 💜
@@ASMRpaperbackboythanks for your lovely and supportive message Charlie 🙏 I always get such comfort from your channel and for that I am so thankful I hope you and your partner are well and in good health ❤️
Hi Charlie, I don't know how old you are, but I am 28. I'm a librarian in a University in a very anti-LGBT state in the US. When I first started my job here I made a commitment to myself to be as open as possible about my queerness in the hopes to be an example for the students here. Many of my young student workers are queer in one way or another, and I want them and everyone else to know that the library is a place they are safe. When I first went into college I was the only queer person I knew personally. In the years since then, almost everyone in my inner circle has come out as gay, queer, trans, or what have you. I didn't think I would make any friends when I started university, but one tends to find ones people, I think! I waited a few years before grad school and was a little older when I started. I didn't plan on meeting anyone there either, but I was able to make some real connections. One person I met is one of my very best friends, fellow librarian, coworker, and roommate. He's a trans guy, and I think about him all the time when I watch your videos! He had his top surgery just over a year ago now. I'm sorry you had such a shitty first day. F*ck those guys. I'm glad you were able to get into a good head space afterwords. I hope you stay safe and are able to enjoy school going forward! Also your hair looks super rad. B)
@@librarybirdbird thankyou so much for this comment. You sound so powerful, I am really proud of you for sticking to what is important and beautiful about you. I'm really cheered up by your story. I suppose you are right. We will always find our people. And I'm happy you found me in this way :)
Hair looks really good!!! Dw about it
Hair looks good! ❤ Don't stress about that! 😊
Ur hair looks soo goood!!!
18:00 >>> this is all so so real. it took a long time to accept that life can be truly, and finally, good without it being what I considered ‘desirable’.
oki, I just got to the end.
i’ve been realising lately how much anxiety rules my life; despite never considering myself an anxious person whatsoever.
from the never ending exhaustion, due to the hours upon hours of tossing and turning, to all the insane inhibitions and self concepts I put and define upon myself. I’m so scared to fail life and the people around me, that the way I seek any sense of control over that, aside from what I can do through actions, is being insanely hard on myself and my body.
I’m learning to be kinder, but fuck, it’s hard.
@@indy1107 It is a truly a challenge when society shows you 300 ways to 'live aesthetically and productively', and you come to find that doesn't make you happy.
Anxiety is sneaky like that. It masks itself as the truth, as your intuition, as you! In therapy I have been tasked to give a face to my anxiety and inner critic, I chose the snake from the original jungle book film. It helps me characterise and compartmentalize my darkest thoughts, and blame it upon that little snake in my head. Perhaps you could benefit from this too! 🩷
Hey Charlie! I’m starting uni again in a couple weeks after working for a couple of years and am nervous about the social aspect too
I love what you said about having your own back and keeping a promise to yourself that you will leave if you are no longer enjoying it
Well done for getting through your first day, even with all the challenges it bought 🙏
@@charlottec158 hi Charlotte! You are going to be absolutely magnificent. You are so brave for going back into education. I hope it brings you exactly what you seek to get out of it. 💜
@@ASMRpaperbackboythanks for your lovely and supportive message Charlie 🙏 I always get such comfort from your channel and for that I am so thankful
I hope you and your partner are well and in good health ❤️
Hair looks good ! Don’t stress it to much.
Ik hou van de work trough video’s (schrijf ik dat zo haha). Spannend hoor studeren 🤗
Looks good. Stop stressing, it's just hair. 😊
Hi Charlie,
I don't know how old you are, but I am 28. I'm a librarian in a University in a very anti-LGBT state in the US. When I first started my job here I made a commitment to myself to be as open as possible about my queerness in the hopes to be an example for the students here. Many of my young student workers are queer in one way or another, and I want them and everyone else to know that the library is a place they are safe.
When I first went into college I was the only queer person I knew personally. In the years since then, almost everyone in my inner circle has come out as gay, queer, trans, or what have you. I didn't think I would make any friends when I started university, but one tends to find ones people, I think!
I waited a few years before grad school and was a little older when I started. I didn't plan on meeting anyone there either, but I was able to make some real connections. One person I met is one of my very best friends, fellow librarian, coworker, and roommate. He's a trans guy, and I think about him all the time when I watch your videos! He had his top surgery just over a year ago now.
I'm sorry you had such a shitty first day. F*ck those guys. I'm glad you were able to get into a good head space afterwords. I hope you stay safe and are able to enjoy school going forward! Also your hair looks super rad. B)
@@librarybirdbird thankyou so much for this comment. You sound so powerful, I am really proud of you for sticking to what is important and beautiful about you. I'm really cheered up by your story. I suppose you are right. We will always find our people.
And I'm happy you found me in this way :)