Korean Adoption Stories | YoonMee: Beyond Korea | Adoption Documentary Film

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  • Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
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    Released at the Minnesota Transracial Film Festival on October 10, 2015 for the first time, "YoonMee: Beyond Korea" delves into four Korean International adoption stories.
    Thank you to Adopsource, Dawn Tomlinson and everyone who works on making the Minnesota Transracial Film Festival a reality each year, spreading awareness about adoption through the avenues of film.
    Please make sure to subscribe to my UA-cam Channel to stay current with new content, like my Adoption Awareness Facebook Page and share with your family, friends and community! Don't miss my my other foster care and adoption series, Placed, Kismet, Surrendered, Adoption Education and Beyond Biological, as well as my other Korean International documentary, "Happy Girl".
    I hope to capture a spectrum of voices from the foster care and adoption community. If you are interested in sharing your story, please send me an email at shelby.kilgore@wearemirrorlight.com.
    Thank you for supporting an adoptee,
    Shelby Redfield Kilgore
    Mirror Light Productions
    Music written and performed by
    Christopher Danowski
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 125

  • @barbibutton9619
    @barbibutton9619 6 років тому +69

    For the gentleman who remembers his morher being killed - I am so sorry for all your losses. May God bless you and keep you in his love

  • @MsYahngsCafe
    @MsYahngsCafe 7 місяців тому +7

    I went to the 1st grade in Korea. Everyday, I’d look at the class list by the door and my name was always at the top (ranking system). My best friend’s name was also there. Either she was 1st & I was 2nd or I was 1st & she was 2nd. I loved school, & I was very proud of myself. I was the youngest of 4 children. After being sent to a foreign country to live with foreign strangers for the rest of my life, I only wanted to go home & see my family. I missed everything about my Korean life & family traditions. I was from the countryside, & we had land & grew crops. After my father died, there was no welfare to help our family through our hardship. My two older sisters were taken out of school to work in the factory to help put my brother through high school. There was a lot of pressure on him to do well in school to go to college & get a good job in order to take care of our family. He became head of the household at that time because he was the oldest male. Only good thing in that is the he didn’t have to serve in the military, although I think he would’ve wanted to do that because he liked the idea of being a soldier as a boy. As for me, I was too young to help out. I was more of a burden. I was sent to America. They made it sound like Disney Land or something. When I got here, I found that it wasn’t. School was horrible, family life was really hard, & everything was super confusing. I found my parents didn’t like where I came from & looked down on my culture. They didn’t really seem to like me, although they would say, “I love you,” without getting to know me. I realized they only loved me if I was willing to conform to their ways (which I wasn’t). It was really fake, & life went downhill afterwards. I wanted to go home back to my family. I remember when I told the the interpreter at the airport I wanted to go home & see my family, it was explained to me that this is my new family now & I would never go home again. They said maybe when I grow up, I can see them again. I told her that’s gonna be too late, & it was. My mom is dead now. The last time I saw her she was sick. I was fortunate enough to see her as an adult 3x (a total of 3 weeks) before she passed. I missed her all my life, & I miss her still. Hard to think she ever thought that I’d be better off without her. I grew up suicidal, & I’m estranged from my adoptive parents now. I’m unmarried with no children & no degree. I’ve spent most of my life in poverty (always broke & in debt). One of my good friends said she never knew anyone who could stretch a dollar like can. The only good thing in my life is in my adulthood I’ve been fortunate to have really good friends, & I’ve kept my integrity & my pride in my roots & stayed true to who I am. #IKnowMyStory

  • @fumiekurihara268
    @fumiekurihara268 11 місяців тому +11

    Thank you for sharing your stories. The man who witnessed his mother's tragic death really hit me deep. He had a very traumatic hard life and I can see in his eyes. He has a beautiful soul and pray for the best life for everyone!

  • @lynnrogersma79
    @lynnrogersma79 Рік тому +13

    What loving adoptive parents who took their children there, sorry the man who suffered so at five, went through so much, great tv reunion for the man who adapted well.

  • @ankiking
    @ankiking 3 роки тому +12

    Wow, suddenly my old roommate Paul appears! An incredible musician and great person. Wish him all good things!

  • @judithryle2113
    @judithryle2113 2 роки тому +9

    Every one of these men grew into nice people

  • @sophiakim5565
    @sophiakim5565 2 роки тому +9

    The parents of the two Korean children adoptees are so empathetic, understanding and great parents. They understand what their adoptive children need and are secure with who they are.

    • @IMP3TIGO
      @IMP3TIGO 2 роки тому +2

      Did you notice in the video of their visit to Korea that there was a little white boy with Emily? Seems like they eventually had a biological son, which is sure to affect their family dynamics.

  • @kamina1979
    @kamina1979 3 роки тому +10

    Even though I'm not Korean, I'm a transracial adoptee. All my hugs to every single one of them! ❤❤❤

  • @alexisshepherd4666
    @alexisshepherd4666 Рік тому +11

    You are beautiful and not a monster! I love your spirit for not allowing it to break you🥰 This documentary is very enlightening and teaches me to be even more understanding and compassionate toward all. We cannot control the circumstances we are born into but we can choose how to deal with the circumstances.

  • @anntunaley9974
    @anntunaley9974 4 місяці тому +3

    They are all such good looking men. The man who was half black was the most adorable little boy. Anyone would have been proud to have any one of these boys as their son.

  • @deannakinsman6790
    @deannakinsman6790 4 роки тому +12

    I watched the documentary "Happy Girl" and she was in her 20's (???) and when she went to Korea to find out information about her adoption from the orphanage she was at the first lady told her she couldn't "legally" give her the information she wanted...I was VERY ANGRY!! She was of age and DESERVED ACCESS to ALL INFORMATION!! These stories are both heartbreaking and inspirational...💔😢💔 To the man who had "the auntie who loved you" I'm so very sorry for all of the losses y'all have suffered/been through 😢💔😢 Y'all have a beautiful voice for singing!! 🌟💙🌟 I feel like adoptee's don't necessarily want to be "fixed" it's more about getting answers to the questions that have/do plague them...💔💔💔

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  4 роки тому +4

      deanna kinsman thank you for watching and bearing witness to their stories.

    • @deannakinsman6790
      @deannakinsman6790 4 роки тому +2

      @@shelbyredfieldkilgore It's my pleasure...if I were younger I feel like this is something I would be called to do. But I'm 61 years old with back issues and bad knees.😞 I have always been interested in the Asian culture, traditions, food and all that goes with that. ❤❤❤

  • @colleenvozella4401
    @colleenvozella4401 2 місяці тому +1

    I think it's really important that if you are adopting a child from any country you have a duty to understand the culture and traditions. It makes such a difference to the children and it's a wonderful experience ✨️ ❤❤❤God Bless everyone who appeared in this video 🙏🏻🇦🇺

  • @vtech920
    @vtech920 2 роки тому +22

    I was born in Seoul South Korea and was adopted to loving Canadian parents in 1988. Now 37 years old, I would like to one day visit my birth country and hopefully meet my biological mother, sister, brother but not my father. It's something that I've been wanting to do for quite some time.

  • @ladylaois8184
    @ladylaois8184 Рік тому +4

    How totally beautiful these people are. They came through such difficult times as children. But they are so eloquent and nice. I had a very difficult childhood, I spent time in children homes as a choice and was jealous of the children in a home. But I never had any love at home, just ridiculed and hit. And wishing as a small child I could leave. It’s so interesting listening to there back stories.

  • @cjjackson120
    @cjjackson120 7 років тому +21

    As a 47 year old Korean Adoptee who this past April met my birth mother again after 43 year I would like to thank you for making such a moving and poignant documentary. In fact I am currently in the process to adopt a child from Korea to hopefully give another child some of the same opportunities I was given.

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  7 років тому +6

      Thanks so much! I'm so glad to hear that you are in the process of adopting. I hope we can stay in touch, and maybe I can document your adoption story and also your journey of adopting.

    • @cjjackson120
      @cjjackson120 7 років тому

      our application should be completed within the next few weeks and then we will wait to be matched with a child. Is there a way to contact you other than back and forth here? I can be reached at cjj120@optonline.net

    • @nesse40
      @nesse40 5 років тому +3

      have you been matched yet? Are your adopted parents excited for your new journey? & our birth parents? Are they happy that youre also adopting? I hope you're ok :-) Sending love & Thoughts to you and your family :-)
      @@cjjackson120

  • @hebneh
    @hebneh 2 роки тому +7

    The poverty and brutality of the early lives of the men is unbelievable - beatings, living on the streets, and that their families either rejected them or just let them go and never searched for them. And the government just puts them in an orphanage without trying to find where they belonged.

    • @MsYahngsCafe
      @MsYahngsCafe 7 місяців тому +1

      Yeah, the one guy really had an abusive father, but certain punishments were normal. I also had to pick up sticks for my father to bind them & hit me with. It was usually on your hand or you have to step up on a stool & he would switch your ankles. That was traditional Korean discipline. I think it’s frowned upon now to do that, although some parents still do it in secret. It’s understood by most as traditional discipline, but being hogtied & beaten bloody is definitely abuse.

  • @szeszi21
    @szeszi21 5 років тому +12

    That is a powerful documentary. My husband and I are in the process of adoption. It is hard to see that processing the past is a life long struggle for adoptees.

  • @mariaroyval2753
    @mariaroyval2753 4 роки тому +17

    Very powerful documentary. I am constantly watching adoption stories. What touched me the most was when the young man said he has childhood memories but has no one to validate them. I cannot imagine how that must feel. Very compelling, I hope the three adult men had loving homes and loving adoptive parents.

  • @mikeydog1000
    @mikeydog1000 2 роки тому +3

    I can relate to this documentary, My dad died when I was 6 years old he was an American soldier, my mother was German . When my Dad died the Army sent us to the United States. Never seeing either my Dad's family or my mother's. VERY Sad.

  • @LadyLeda2
    @LadyLeda2 4 роки тому +24

    I LOVE this documentary. It brings back all the memories of my adopting my two Korean kids!!! Thank you!!!

  • @laurathapthimkuna3959
    @laurathapthimkuna3959 5 років тому +18

    Thankyou so much for making this film! So beautiful to hear their stories, truly touching. Keep up the good work, this is so important and necessary to give adoptees platforms to share their stories!

  • @audramitchell9894
    @audramitchell9894 2 роки тому +7

    I've watched this 3 times..it's really an Exstordinary conversation. I truelly appreciate it ❤️🌹❤️

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  2 роки тому +3

      Thank you so much! I hope you watch my film “Happy Girl”, as well and the other adoption stories I have filmed and cut together since 2012, all on my channel.

  • @pizzapopcornprincess
    @pizzapopcornprincess Рік тому +9

    I wonder what happened to everyone in this video since this video was uploaded 7 years ago. Could you please make a Part 2 video to show the progress in their journeys? This video has really touched me. I would also like to suggest to everyone in this video who suffered trauma to try out EMDR therapy or EFT therapy to alleviate their sufferings if they still persist today.

  • @gusyates1839
    @gusyates1839 7 років тому +18

    Beautiful documentary. Amazing heartfelt stories brings tears to your eyes. There are both positives and negatives with international adoption.

  • @marveadler980
    @marveadler980 3 роки тому +6

    How wonderful this story is. Best of luck to all in this video.

  • @102create
    @102create Рік тому +4

    Wonderful stories, made me cry , the love is shown for the children ❤❤❤

  • @luisalay187
    @luisalay187 3 роки тому +3

    Impressive theirs stories and worth to be told, so we learn more that theirs strength are mostly built around theirs struggle. Beautiful and smart people who deserves ❤ a prosperous future.

  • @DBWorld_YouTube
    @DBWorld_YouTube Рік тому +1

    We adopted our son from South Korea about 7 months ago. I often wonder what our son will remember and his questions when he gets older.

  • @sharonking5072
    @sharonking5072 Рік тому +4

    I’ve adopted 3 boys this has so touched my heart ♥️

  • @kimstube7244
    @kimstube7244 8 років тому +23

    Totally fascinating documentary! My kids are still young (under 10), all adopted from Haiti. This gave me a lot of insights into the feelings they may experience and the journey to connecting with their original families that we may take. Thank you for making this and for sharing it.

  • @Alices.last.warning
    @Alices.last.warning 2 роки тому +3

    So, fascinating. Yet, also sad to base some of the histories of the men. Just broke my heart. I'm so glad these men were matched with good families

  • @HKim0072
    @HKim0072 5 років тому +5

    1:06:52 No matter what your situation is with your biological parents, if you have a younger sibling(s) - you'll always have a good time with them. I fell asleep on my sister's leg in Korean grandma's house because it was warm (heated floors) and I was a bit jet-lagged.

  • @1957jmhiser1
    @1957jmhiser1 Рік тому +2

    Humans are all related. Yes, countries and cultures are specific, but humanity is fluid, ebbs and flows to different regions, practices rituals of different cultures, but are of the world, and interrelated to one another. I have ancestors from all over the world and am of the world although I've lived my life in one specific region.

  • @anntunaley9974
    @anntunaley9974 4 місяці тому +1

    Right after the man talked about the air conditioner noises he thought was the house being haunted, they show a pic of him as a boy, then a pic of him with a little black girl. She is the spitting image of my granddaughter only a few years older.

  • @keiraforster3198
    @keiraforster3198 2 роки тому +2

    Our stories are really heavy. Very different as well. Tx for sharing, means a lot

  • @heathersmith8731
    @heathersmith8731 3 місяці тому

    I love the AC monster story ❤😂 My daughter thought there was a monster in our kitchen for quite awhile, turned out to be the ice maker in the freezer dumping the ice 😂

  • @esosun7893
    @esosun7893 11 місяців тому +1

    Wonderful documentary. very moving. International adoption so tricky for the adoptees

  • @OP-ju9pc
    @OP-ju9pc 3 роки тому +2

    All of you, God bless you!

  • @Helene_dk
    @Helene_dk Рік тому +1

    Thank you for sharing this documentary; it was really moving me!

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  Рік тому +1

      Thank you so much for watching it. Creating these films is my passion work.

  • @ec8787
    @ec8787 2 роки тому +9

    Wow 😮 what a wonderful documentary . I really enjoyed and cried knowing of their stories. Thank you to everyone that made this possible for us to learned what they went through. Thank you 🙏

  • @annieneziri6137
    @annieneziri6137 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you so much for making this wonderful video. You have inspired me to start looking for my Korean family.

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you so much! Have you heard of Adoptee Hub? It’s a great group and has resources for search and reunion.

    • @annieneziri6137
      @annieneziri6137 2 роки тому +1

      @@shelbyredfieldkilgore thank you I will take a look. I have been looking for many years now, so thank you

  • @angelah.3402
    @angelah.3402 6 років тому +13

    these are really amazing, and touching stories!!

  • @lucillekenney8311
    @lucillekenney8311 7 місяців тому +1

    Wow, these stories are so powerful. To the gentleman who witnessed his mother's murder, I'm so sorry for all the trauma in your life. I wish the aunt who loved you could have known the beautiful person you've become. I was transfixed by these stories laughing and crying throughout this documentary. It was heartwarming to see you all reconnect with biological relations. I hope it brings some sense of healing and peace. The parents of the younger children will see that they get what they need. Thank you for sharing your stories. God bless.

  • @joshuelbarrientos1530
    @joshuelbarrientos1530 2 роки тому +2

    Excellent documentary, thank you so much for sharing!!!

  • @IMP3TIGO
    @IMP3TIGO 2 роки тому +2

    Great documentary... well done.

  • @loxibell2736
    @loxibell2736 7 років тому +8

    So touching to watch. Thank you for this insight of how adoption pans out. I do wonder why there were so many adoptees from Korea? The musak was irritating. However, I loved the documentary :)

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  7 років тому +5

      Adoption from South Korea started during and after the Korean War in the 1950s. There were many children born from UN soldiers and South Korean women. The "Amerasian babies", as they were called, were not accepted by Korean society. Many were left on the streets to die, or placed in orphanages, if the father did not marry and take them back to the states with them. Basically, South Korea started international adoption. Next came Vietnamese adoptions, because of the Vietnam War and so on. Later on adoption overseas, was because families either were very poor, and women bore children out of wedlock and they were not accepted by society, as well. An earlier documentary I made, explained that in the beginning. ua-cam.com/video/hriUtGglboc/v-deo.html
      Thanks so much for watching.

    • @rosamariamendoza1466
      @rosamariamendoza1466 6 років тому +4

      Because of the war and poverty.

  • @guidododo4822
    @guidododo4822 Рік тому +5

    I was adopted when I was 9yrs old. All I can say is that I wished I was never adopted.

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  Рік тому +1

      Thank you for watching and for sharing a piece of your own story. What you say rings true for so many others.

    • @ID_iKONIC_VIP
      @ID_iKONIC_VIP Рік тому +4

      So sorry to hear that. But what would've been the alternative? Grow up in an orphanage? But maybe that could be better as you can have a brotherhood/sisterhood from the orphanage and still grow up in the culture. Wish you luck and lots of love 💕. I still believe no matter what, you are exactly where you needed to be at for reasons you may not know now .... And everything happens for a reason. You are worthy as you are now. 🙌🙌🙌

  • @worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010
    @worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010 4 роки тому +7

    its a double edged sword with meeting bio parents. on the one hand, if you wait too late, they could die before you get to even talk to them or get to know them. on the other hand, i understand that kids might not fully be prepared to handle the circumstances and understand. but its still not fair. because then you are faced to grieve all of your losses on your own, you have to carry all that burden yourself. its bull. on a different note, these adoptive parents are quite open and honest which i find verrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy refreshing. i dont consider myself "blessed" for adoption, in fact bc of my experiences i really dont agree with the prevailing narrative that exists. i mean, most older KADs came from post war but these days korea should be able to take care of its own children. adoption now is just a bandaid on outdated sexist social stigmas. its not necessary anymore. all my deep emotions about it come from the depression and anxiety that i experienced growing up bc of it. it can definitely be a beautiful thing, but its not guaranteed. love is not guaranteed. especially with such a heavily political, heavily colonial rooted thing as adoption

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  4 роки тому +3

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It breaks my heart that single women are still struggling to raise their children in Korea, that in most cases their family, friends and coworkers ostracise them and make it almost impossible to for them parent them. It's part of the reason why I have such mixed feelings about my Korean side.

    • @worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010
      @worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010 4 роки тому +2

      @@shelbyredfieldkilgore its like, i know that its almost inevitable with all these children being abandoned but why not try to advocate for single parents rather than taking their kid away and sending them off i just dont get it. i know what you mean, im a big fan of korean movies and they always fight hard for their children, even dying for them, and portray them like an impossible sacrifice. it just seems so fake to me knowing the reality. and if they absolutely cant keep them with their parents, then at least try to keep them with their culture and language by adopting within the country. or at least, ensure that adoptive parents are truly open and honest and willing to encourage their kids to explore who they are. but i still meet kids at korean camps who are 10 years younger than me that tell me how their parents treat it like a burden. its just so sad. its not like we can hide from it with korean culture becoming so popular now.

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  4 роки тому +3

      worship the comedy god seo eunkwang or else That is so frustrating to hear that you are meeting Korean adoptees, whose parents find it a burden to help them learn about their culture. I know there is a movement for single mothers in Korea to be able to raise their children. But they have such a long fight ahead still. I am just now getting used to watching Korean TV Dramas. It made me feel uncomfortable before, seeing mannerisms in the characters that I have, and wondering what life would have been if I hadn’t been adopted out, because my mother had me out of wedlock. But raised my two half brothers. That too is probably way it’s been difficult for me to fully embrace that side of me.

    • @worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010
      @worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010 4 роки тому +3

      @@shelbyredfieldkilgore Shelby Redfield Kilgore yeah like if its such a burden, then why adopt from there? ive heard of kumfas work with single moms and i try to support them when i can and promote awareness. i definitely feel that way too. its interesting cuz in one drama i saw called "high school love on", a guy finds out that his friends step mom is his birth mom. the whole rest of the show she is just ostracized as this terrible person. definitely a conflicting thing since she did probably have to deal with stigma but she raised another son. i also often wonder what it wouldve been like. i even hear some koreans who were raised by single parents and how despite struggles, they still kept them. that admittedly makes me jealous and kinda angry. would you mind if i asked if you met your half brothers? my younger sister actually met her half brother who lives a few states away that was also adopted, and he recently asked her if she wanted to keep in touch and find their birth mom but she didnt want to. apparently she also has half brothers in korea as well. i can definitely sympathize with the struggle even though i have not met any of my family nor do i even know if anyone exists. its hard to want to embrace them when you have all these conflicting feelings about being abandoned.

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  4 роки тому +3

      worship the comedy god seo eunkwang or else I did meet my Korean mother when I was 17, and she brought her sisters along for support. We did not stay in touch after that. She had married and I was a secret. I tried to connect with my Korean father and half siblings from both sides when I went on another trip filming another adoptee searching for family. When I was about 30 and it was unsuccessful. So that was devastating to me.

  • @brendalizayala
    @brendalizayala 4 роки тому +4

    I loved this!

  • @MargaretMargaretMargaret
    @MargaretMargaretMargaret 2 роки тому +2

    When he saw the dogs eyes glowing and no house Spirits, this was sweet and would be a wonderful animation movie 😊

  • @debbywickman1103
    @debbywickman1103 11 місяців тому

    What a great story

  • @edimargarita4152
    @edimargarita4152 Рік тому +1

    GOD is so graet. Life, Life ❤🇩🇴

  • @esosun7893
    @esosun7893 11 місяців тому +1

    Paul is sooooo handsome

  • @vamo2909
    @vamo2909 8 місяців тому

    Thanks

  • @HKim0072
    @HKim0072 5 років тому +3

    39:55 Oh boy, describes me to a t. Been doing that ever since I lived away from home. Edit: And am partial to dating Korean women. Have commitment issues. And have a close relationship with my biological sister. Oh yeah, and my sister whose English was horrible was the translator for us.

  • @RomanRoman-vj5xz
    @RomanRoman-vj5xz Рік тому +3

    38:25 bathroom story 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @Mathombisi
      @Mathombisi 6 місяців тому

      I wanted somebody I could laugh with 😂😂😂😂

  • @lindapearson8137
    @lindapearson8137 5 місяців тому

    The back ground music makes it hard for me to hear!!!

  • @jodykeppler3745
    @jodykeppler3745 3 роки тому +1

    my name is uh yoon boon i am missing my oldest sister who I was told to came to us I always wondered when I met her her eyes do not look like mine if there is a kun auh I'm in us I was adopted through holt i was born in 1967 amen

  • @gaylecheung3087
    @gaylecheung3087 2 роки тому

    Great stories ♥️🇨🇦🌏🇺🇦

  • @anntunaley9974
    @anntunaley9974 4 місяці тому +1

    Emily and Jack are adorable

  • @Jomirecc
    @Jomirecc 2 роки тому +1

    Wow his mother was killed over money that is so sad I hope that women is rotting in jail.

  • @stringsandpipes7548
    @stringsandpipes7548 11 місяців тому +1

    Wow so shocking how that black man watched his mom die.

  • @suimoh1935
    @suimoh1935 3 роки тому +1

    GOD Bless AMERICA 🙏❤️👏👍💯💯💯🇺🇸🇺🇸❤️💖

  • @chetyoubetya8565
    @chetyoubetya8565 5 років тому +9

    Sorry even if the half black mans mother had lived and kept him his life would have been hell being half black in Korea.That's a fact .

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  5 років тому +9

      Filmmaker here. I'm trying to understand what your message is. I feel based on your statements, also from another comment you made for another video, that you see the world of adoption as very black and white. I think we're all aware that Korean society even today, sadly is not accepting of illegitimate children, let alone those that aren't fully Korean. But he's describing his experiences growing up as an adoptee in the U.S. The fact is some adoptees don't connect with their adoptive parents, or family, and find it very difficult to connect through out their life, and even to find a sense of belongingness. It can be a life long struggle for some. Understanding that their life would have been horrible if they hadn't been adopted, doesn't change their lived experiences or how they feel about them. Each adoptee and how they see their lives affected by their adoption, is different than everyone else's. You can't say because I as an adoptee feel this way, that's how it should work for every other adoptee. Perhaps this feeling of trying to push your views onto someone else, is covering up something you might actually not be aware of. Because I feel behind your statements, there is anger and even condescension. We could even talk about how within biological families, siblings can sometimes have very different feelings about their parents, where one may come out bitter and resentful towards them, and the other very loving. It's all about their personal experiences and how they take them.

    • @chetyoubetya8565
      @chetyoubetya8565 5 років тому

      @@shelbyredfieldkilgore Total rubbish still.Like I said I was adopted and got to meet my bio family and guess what they were a bunch of strangers with the same DNA.I felt nothing for any of them.You think that people who are related don't feel disconnected from there families?Maybe it's you who think adoptions are black and white.There are plenty of adopted people who could care less who gave birth to them from all countries and that is fact.To keep blaming every insecurity and bad life choice on a person being adopted is total TV drama rubbish.These people seem more scarred from a dysfunctional early childhood then that they were adopted.Those two issues are oil and water.So don't tell me what I am.The one thing I am is totally responsible for my life without looking for someone to blame.Maybe you should go explore why you can't do the same.

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  5 років тому +9

      @@chetyoubetya8565 I feel like we are at a huge disconnect. I feel it's incredibly disrespectful of you to call it TV drama rubbish. There is so much research and science behind the impact of trauma adoptees experience and how that influences the rest of their lives. The act of a baby being separated from its mother is trauma for that baby. If a mother is feeling trauma while pregnant, the baby feels trauma, as well at 6 months. Because at 6 months in utero the amygdala is functioning, the part of the brain that kicks us into fight, flight or freeze and fully functioning at birth. That trauma may manifest at different times in someone's life, and in different ways. I appreciate you sharing about your experience. And I never disagreed with you that some might not feel a connection to their first family, especially if there is a language and culture barrier, nor did I say adoptees can't ever love their parents who adopted them. And I agree, with in biological families there sometimes also isn't love between a parent and child. To give you some context of my own experience, I am adopted from Korea. I was two months when my Korean mother relinquished me and then in foster care until I was adopted at 11 months old. I love my parents, and I connected with them and my brother who they adopted from Korea, as well. It didn't stop me from feeling separation anxiety, stemming from being separated twice by loving caregivers. It also didn't protect me from experiencing self-identity issues growing up in a predominantly white area, and in a transracial adoptive family. I met my Korean mother at 17, and there was a connection for me, despite the language and culture barrier, and it filled that hole I felt inside for a time, until I started making these videos about foster care and adoption and it peeled back even more layers, I didn't even know existed at the time. Over the years my personal views on adoption have taken a huge shift. But as a filmmaker, I allow each person's lived experiences to be told as they want it told, because it is their truths, whether positive, negative, or somewhere in between. I'm truly not trying to tell you who you are, I'm just making you aware that you seem incredibly close minded about how all adoptees should feel, and also I feel you come across full of anger. I actually don't know why this makes you so angry. I'm not telling you to feel differently, I'm asking you not to tell others how to feel. There are a variety of feelings and views that adoptees may feel about their adoption and how it's impacted their lives. These personal thoughts that are being shared through this platform, it's truly a brave thing they're doing, and it's meant to be helpful and informative to others. I feel the way you are communicating is coming across as if you are trying to discredit and shut down their narratives, their lived experiences, in a very harmful and negative way.

    • @joanwoods7740
      @joanwoods7740 3 роки тому +1

      Youre very insensitive and lack empathy. Calm down

    • @sophiakim5565
      @sophiakim5565 2 роки тому +3

      @@chetyoubetya8565 You need therapy to explore your true feelings. You harbor deep resentment and anger toward your birth parents and adoptees. I hope you will one day find peace.

  • @TheSaint7770
    @TheSaint7770 3 роки тому +1

    💙💙💙

  • @pheona1000
    @pheona1000 11 днів тому

    The background music is annoying and overpowers what these traumatised individuals are trying to say.

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  10 днів тому +1

      @@pheona1000 the music is originally composed by a Korean adoptee. I am not an editor, so I did my best at the time I made this doc. All of these pieces are my heart work and done with my husband and I’s own personal funds.

  • @zae73604
    @zae73604 Рік тому

    🌹❤

  • @hughphillips1427
    @hughphillips1427 Рік тому

    Heart breaking stories p, I am white English and also adopted. The only bit I did not like was the American gift bit at the end, like we are so blessed to be adopted, ‘the American gift’.

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  Рік тому +1

      Thank you so much for watching. I realize that can be a trigger for others. I also no longer choose those words to describe how I feel about my adoption. As a filmmaker, it’s important for me to stay neutral when documenting other people’s stories. I don’t want to influence anyone’s story, how they may feel about their own adoption in anyway. I hope one day to film updates with the adoptees I have filmed with since 2012. I know sometimes our views may change overtime. Mine certainly has.

    • @hughphillips1427
      @hughphillips1427 Рік тому

      @@shelbyredfieldkilgore I understand, you did an amazing job, very interesting. I am adopted so understand loss, but to be born in Korea and then go to the USA must really confuse identity.

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  Рік тому +2

      @@hughphillips1427 thank you so much. That means a lot. Yes, it’s sometimes a lifelong struggle for some of being in-between. Not quite fully Korean or the culture you were brought up in. It’s challenging to find a place where you feel fully accepted and where you belong.

  • @maureenbrickley8459
    @maureenbrickley8459 Рік тому +1

    catholics do not baptize anyone like that...anywhere

  • @jenniferlewis5508
    @jenniferlewis5508 2 роки тому

    Animals do not have soul or spirits according to the holy Bible. Kjv

    • @cloudknight-hr6vg
      @cloudknight-hr6vg Місяць тому

      😂😂wow you are special if it casts shadows theres a soul hence why you dint eat meat that cast shadows ... learn to read your bible lmao

  • @szeszi21
    @szeszi21 5 років тому +5

    That is a powerful documentary. My husband and I are in the process of adoption. It is hard to see that processing the past is a life long struggle for adoptees.

    • @swampophelia2098
      @swampophelia2098 2 роки тому +5

      Adoption begins with the most profound loss that a person can go through