Love Is Blind's Tom: The Wedding Episode, was it a 'Mutual No' ?! Gender Roles & Finance in a Couple

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  • Опубліковано 30 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 66

  • @nadsxx9281
    @nadsxx9281 4 місяці тому +10

    You asked all the right questions. I think this podcast was done very well - no interruptions, you gave him the space to speak and it was insightful. Thanks for sharing

    • @_jemma_p
      @_jemma_p  4 місяці тому

      Thank you, really appreciate it 🫶🏼

  • @julest5767
    @julest5767 4 місяці тому +17

    I found Maria's "independent strong woman" stance while at the same time saying that being seen in public paying for a couple's expense would shock her mother (and thus was a bad thing) to be confusing. She was obviously stepping way out of her cultural upbringing to be on the show and I didn't understand what parts of her culture she wanted to keep and honor and what parts she would be willing to compromise on. I found their breakup sad bc I think they actually made a good couple. Tom needed Maria's bright, shining personality and Maria needed Tom's grounded, good provider qualities. I wish they could have worked through their issues with a therapist and not made a snap, quick decision in a few weeks. As icky as Tom's judgement was about her career, it was his neurotic issue, as he admits, based on his childhood scarcity, and a therapist could have helped Maria with her anger over those comments. Oh well.....

    • @ivannarandall2102
      @ivannarandall2102 4 місяці тому +1

      I completely agree!

    • @beautysfnm
      @beautysfnm 4 місяці тому

      💯

    • @tielee9259
      @tielee9259 3 місяці тому +1

      The "who's paying" thing was dumb. As a working woman I also offer as Jemma does. You can decide there.
      I did like Tom and Maria. They would have worked through their differences if he made the commitment. But he overthinks things.

  • @rivka8576
    @rivka8576 4 місяці тому +20

    I think the comments are a bit harsh, he's not cheap for letting a woman buy him an ice cream. I don't know why that was ever made into a big deal. And I agree that doing something like buying a drink or an ice cream after someone buys you a meal shows your appreciation.

    • @MGold00
      @MGold00 4 місяці тому +7

      There is a podcast where Maria explain the context of what happened.
      To be honest my view was similar to urs but after hearing the contexts. U will understand he is CHEAP

    • @alwaysforgood
      @alwaysforgood 4 місяці тому +1

      He claims equality in a society in which there is no such a thing. Will he put his work in second place if they have children and some kid needs special attention? Gender equality can only be possible, at some extent, if the couple does not have children. Besides, Maria claimed having a figure of a provider in order to build a family, which does mean she wouldn't work or contribute with the family's income. A lot of life lessons Tom needs to learn. He watched his mother struggle, he should want a different life to his partner.

    • @deeee4607
      @deeee4607 4 місяці тому +3

      He didn’t even buy her dinner. On their fast date he asked her to cover the bill. It’s so cheap.

    • @dukesheshou6801
      @dukesheshou6801 3 місяці тому

      not so cheap as she who refuse to pay him only an icecream. she is in London with a job not in a middle east Islamic country where women can't work nor drive nor have social connection,how dare she demand him to pay every for her ?did he owe her that??

    • @dukesheshou6801
      @dukesheshou6801 3 місяці тому

      funny u can easily accept such inequality when it benefits u women

  • @Rmveber
    @Rmveber 4 місяці тому +16

    i think he is 50/50 guy and he should look for someone similar ideas.

  • @sharonfelicia121
    @sharonfelicia121 4 місяці тому +33

    I still think he wasnt serious about getting married, even if he matched perfectly.

  • @claireessex7491
    @claireessex7491 4 місяці тому +12

    Jemma - you ask really great and well structured questions.

    • @_jemma_p
      @_jemma_p  4 місяці тому

      Thank you, that’s very kind xx

  • @maya1693
    @maya1693 4 місяці тому +10

    A hyper independent person like this will always find it hard to have a true connection

    • @nm2064
      @nm2064 4 місяці тому +1

      I'm that kind of independent person, same tough upbringing that makes me terrified of depending on somebody completely. Have never had any issues having connections. It is true that I'm a lot more hesitant of huge commitments (buying property together, let alone children...)

    • @maya1693
      @maya1693 4 місяці тому

      @@nm2064 there’s a difference between being independent and hyper independent which turns you emotionally avoidant xx

  • @Treyyy390
    @Treyyy390 4 місяці тому +9

    I'd be happy being financially dependent on someone. I'm a 50 year old Nurse. Would have been 100% happy and fulfilled being a stay at home Mom.
    He needs to stop overthinking everything.

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 3 місяці тому +1

      You wouldn't say the same if you actually lived it , haven't you seen those ex trad wives videos? Why would you want to depend on someone financially? do you feel comfortable asking for money to buy pads?

  • @shadeofpink1
    @shadeofpink1 4 місяці тому +15

    If he wants a career woman, no one will ever be home.Not much intimacy, connection or family life

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 3 місяці тому

      you do know that career women, do go home right? Their residency is not at their place of work

  • @tielee9259
    @tielee9259 3 місяці тому +4

    I think you've been in PR too long Tom. Make the best choice you can & commit to someone who is committed to you. Only then can you build from there.

  • @tdb2864
    @tdb2864 4 місяці тому +15

    He’s a good guy and I still think Tom and Tasha would have been great for each other.

    • @alexaf2744
      @alexaf2744 4 місяці тому

      I still can’t believe they didn’t get married

    • @MoroccanSama
      @MoroccanSama 4 місяці тому +3

      Tashia dont want 50/50 either nor is attracted to him. Watch her interviews.

  • @tatamoca8404
    @tatamoca8404 4 місяці тому +11

    Why do some guys hate women? Meanwhile, they are willing to pay all kinds of stuff to his friends. He doesn't want a partner, he wants someone to take the overload of a posh life behind his back, by paying half of the ticket.

    • @MoroccanSama
      @MoroccanSama 4 місяці тому +6

      yep pretty much. he's not rich but acts like it he just wants someone to add to his pockets to improve his lifestyle. He just doesnt have the money to support a family

  • @maryannclowes4343
    @maryannclowes4343 4 місяці тому +14

    He’ll have to create his own Eve from scratch. Good luck.

  • @petyaasgarova7145
    @petyaasgarova7145 4 місяці тому +6

    When women choose a partner to marry and have a family with, we look for support. We need to feel fully safe and supported to be in the headspace to have kids. It doesn’t mean that a woman will never work a day in her life. Just that her husband can and will look after the family if shit hits the fan.

    • @dukesheshou6801
      @dukesheshou6801 3 місяці тому

      and support doesn't mean man shoul
      pay EVERYTING righ?unless she dont have a job and do all the housework ,so will maria quit her job after getting marrige

    • @dukesheshou6801
      @dukesheshou6801 3 місяці тому

      so do men and its obviously "paying everything " is nothing similar to "support"

    • @dukesheshou6801
      @dukesheshou6801 3 місяці тому

      men will do housework if it hits his fan too,typical feminist double standards crap

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 2 місяці тому

      You do know that these kids will be raised by both father and mother right?

  • @Em-hz7tg
    @Em-hz7tg 4 місяці тому +13

    He def has daddy issues

  • @ivapetrovska9986
    @ivapetrovska9986 4 місяці тому +18

    As a feminist, who despises the gender inequality, but respects chivalry in sense of the basic etiquette, Mr.Tom noone wants a cheap person, especially a man, regardless of cultural differences.
    And a man should pay or organize (money-free) the first few dates. Later on in the relationship - pays the one who has more funds.

    • @ngue631
      @ngue631 4 місяці тому +1

      Yasssssss🎉

    • @Axcellence_a
      @Axcellence_a 4 місяці тому

      starts with "despises the gender inequality" ends with stating expectations on men that clearly fall under gender roles and inequality. you can't fight for equality but demands certain things from men based on their gender... feminists want to have their cake and eat it too.

    • @regularity2556
      @regularity2556 4 місяці тому +3

      Nah, he said upfront he wants an equal partner. Which feminist has a problem with that 🙄.

    • @ngue631
      @ngue631 4 місяці тому +1

      @@regularity2556 an equal partner who pays for his mortgage 😂 hes just super cheap

    • @regularity2556
      @regularity2556 4 місяці тому

      ​@@ngue631pays to live in someone's house is fine.

  • @lorenaquisbert2936
    @lorenaquisbert2936 3 місяці тому +5

    There’s something about him that I don’t feel genuine… I think he is really superficial. Idk I might be wrong, just catch that vibe from him

  • @Aizhanoa
    @Aizhanoa 4 місяці тому +15

    I found him such a cheap somehow

    • @dukesheshou6801
      @dukesheshou6801 3 місяці тому

      still better than a controlling freak like her who thinks everyone has to share the same opinion with her about how to rise children otherwise they are disrespecting her and her entire family.

    • @dukesheshou6801
      @dukesheshou6801 3 місяці тому

      not so cheap as she who refuse to pay him only an icecream. she is in London with a job not in a middle east Islamic country where women can't work nor drive nor have social connection,how dare she demand him to pay every for her ?did he owe her that??

  • @VirtualHumanBeing
    @VirtualHumanBeing 4 місяці тому +11

    He is not emotionally or financially able or committed to be a husband and should never have been on the show. Maria was just another option to find fault with in the end, just like all his other app dates.

  • @MGold00
    @MGold00 4 місяці тому +6

    If he is finding it harder to date now. He should rethink his view on things cos whether u want a 50/50 relationship. Women look at ur approach to it.
    And as someone who works in PR he know that Makeup artist make a lot of money.

  • @thereshegoes9840
    @thereshegoes9840 4 місяці тому +6

    Tom pleaaase... Spare us, it's getting boring atp

  • @theflyinginvestor7548
    @theflyinginvestor7548 4 місяці тому

    Way too many visual effects in the first few minutes

    • @_jemma_p
      @_jemma_p  4 місяці тому

      It still got you to click and watch 😏

    • @theflyinginvestor7548
      @theflyinginvestor7548 4 місяці тому

      @@_jemma_p not disputing the content, more the visuals. Keep it up 👍

  • @user-rs3qn9vp3q
    @user-rs3qn9vp3q 4 місяці тому +4

    Zzzzzz are we talking about work or love is blind 😴😴😴😴

    • @_jemma_p
      @_jemma_p  4 місяці тому +3

      This isn’t the kind of channel for ‘tea’ I’m afraid 😌 but the chapters in the description should help if you really want to pick a side.

    • @WilliamsPinch
      @WilliamsPinch 3 місяці тому

      He’s just a snooze. I can’t imagine why he’d have 2 options from the pods lol.

  • @nahoooli
    @nahoooli 3 місяці тому +1

    Im glad no one will date him

    • @dukesheshou6801
      @dukesheshou6801 3 місяці тому

      don't think he would care because the dates with women benefit him nothing.more and more men choose to be on their own though