D&D: Free Speech

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  • Опубліковано 18 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,1 тис.

  • @wolfae2837
    @wolfae2837 7 років тому +3823

    "I doubt you are related to a drow"
    "Still raging"
    "Err you white"

    • @tonydanatop4912
      @tonydanatop4912 5 років тому +45

      Hes albino ?

    • @KuraIthys
      @KuraIthys 5 років тому +18

      I thought drow were really pale though...
      Go figure. XD

    • @sananaryon4061
      @sananaryon4061 5 років тому +60

      @@KuraIthys Drow have white hair, but dark grey to black (like literally pitch black) skin

    • @benkayvfalsifier3817
      @benkayvfalsifier3817 5 років тому +18

      Not "err" he said "ugh"

    • @lionsmith3944
      @lionsmith3944 4 роки тому +28

      Once played with a high intelligence barbarian so he basically raged like the doctor

  • @mornananchy495
    @mornananchy495 7 років тому +3627

    The GM is someone you never want to anger, unless you want sudden boulders, lightning, or Cthulhu in power armor.

    • @plaidchickens3271
      @plaidchickens3271 7 років тому +241

      One time I was trying to be annoying to the GM and then he summoned a swarm of 58 dragons all of the players were level 3 or lower

    • @victoriazilverentant5593
      @victoriazilverentant5593 7 років тому +147

      Tom McCahon You piss on the king? ever heard of ARMED GUARDS?!?

    • @inspectorjavert8443
      @inspectorjavert8443 7 років тому +43

      1880s Arizona, yeah a revolver and likely a few shotguns too, and toss in angry dogs who haven't had their shots :D

    • @inspectorjavert8443
      @inspectorjavert8443 7 років тому +73

      I really want to see Cthulhu in power armor that would be AWESOME.
      Anyone else get that "rule 34" shudder?

    • @dvoraj20
      @dvoraj20 7 років тому +64

      Cthulhu in power armor might be fun. Depending on your party level and how attached you are to them. Also, an insane diplomacy skill might be useful here.

  • @cwipproductions2015
    @cwipproductions2015 7 років тому +2522

    "oohg, You white!" Barbarian 2017

    • @hfar_in_the_sky
      @hfar_in_the_sky 7 років тому +86

      Favorite line in the entire skit. I am a person of crass taste.

    • @infernusascendant1627
      @infernusascendant1627 7 років тому +72

      For me, the best part was the "rocks fall, everyone dies" gag at the end.

    • @YazzyTheRogue
      @YazzyTheRogue 7 років тому +6

      that is the "you white cis male" of D&D

    • @justmonica9253
      @justmonica9253 7 років тому +7

      And we're sure he didn't mean 'wight'?

    • @Elitex62
      @Elitex62 7 років тому +38

      I think it was less "Cis white male" and more "Dude, you're white. I probably got more native blood in me than you and you don't see me bitching about benifits"

  • @JelloApocalypse
    @JelloApocalypse 7 років тому +3853

    "I'll find the grappling rules"
    NO no NO NOOO no

    • @miroslavradev9006
      @miroslavradev9006 6 років тому +27

      JelloApocalypse oh I see a comment from you almost a year late

    • @DARknight-kp5ef
      @DARknight-kp5ef 6 років тому +56

      Miroslav Radev Same. Also, he was using a Pathfinder rule book, even though the title says it's D&D

    • @feritperliare2890
      @feritperliare2890 6 років тому +37

      DARknight pathfinder is the fan made D&D you know only reason for no copyright infringement is because of the different name

    • @miroslavradev9006
      @miroslavradev9006 6 років тому +13

      Moon Tourmaline I kind of like pathfinder more though. It has witches.

    • @DARknight-kp5ef
      @DARknight-kp5ef 6 років тому +10

      Miroslav Radev D&D has witches too, they're just called hags (or female wizards)

  • @Blueharvester1983
    @Blueharvester1983 7 років тому +1059

    "Rock falls, everybody dies." I've never played an RPG before, but I imagine I would be like the bard- knowledge of random rules and combinations.

    • @captcha42
      @captcha42 7 років тому +37

      That's either a bit helpful or annoying as shit. Because you'd think player like the bard in this vid doesn't exist right ? WRONG THEY DO !!!

    • @kylepessell1350
      @kylepessell1350 7 років тому +13

      In the Dragon Age campaign I'm doing no one plays a Bard because they are un-trusted assassins and spies. Coincidentally about that Rock dropping thing... when I was a Bard in another game a few months ago I survived a giant floating island dropping out of the sky. A character of mine also survived an earthquake just last night with only minor injuries but it demolished an entire castle as a result of a spell cast by a member of my party. I've also been in campaigns where I was in a plane that was shot down with a homing missile set to explode on impact a thousand feet above the Baltic Sea. This isn't even a tiny fraction of the shit I've seen in role playing games. Honestly I've found that this scenario right here would be treated as a minor encounter that an experienced player could resolve in their sleep.

    • @Blueharvester1983
      @Blueharvester1983 7 років тому +2

      @Kyle Wow! that's... intense? Though I question if the GM is going a bit overboard if a collapsing castle is considered a 'minor encounter' :)
      @Captcha I try to be towards the 'bit helpful side because I am the one who knows all of the rules, and am therefore the one tasked with enforcing all of the rules.

    • @inspectorjavert8443
      @inspectorjavert8443 7 років тому +2

      What game were you playing that had you ovefr the Baltic cause that has my attention.

    • @captcha42
      @captcha42 7 років тому

      Then you are doing it right ! Because i can't imagine one guy looking through the entire PDF (We only have 1 book and 3 laptops...) just for a single rule, jeebus that guy we get kicked out of our session.

  • @mandalorian_guy
    @mandalorian_guy 7 років тому +2751

    Never look up grappling rules. EVER.

    • @ShahjahanMasood
      @ShahjahanMasood 7 років тому +44

      Why?

    • @mandalorian_guy
      @mandalorian_guy 7 років тому +234

      Because they're super complicated.

    • @OctopusGrift
      @OctopusGrift 7 років тому +79

      To be fair they are much simpler in Pathfinder.

    • @Gingerninja800
      @Gingerninja800 7 років тому +24

      Is it not just Str v Str and advantage to creatures a size bigger? ez

    • @Nightenstaff
      @Nightenstaff 7 років тому +368

      The grappling rules are what the DM vaguely remembers the grappling rules to be from that first time he read them in 1985.

  • @-lollipopsunder-7044
    @-lollipopsunder-7044 7 років тому +668

    "Hold on, Im looking up the grappling rules'. Plz. Plz god no.

    • @kylepessell1350
      @kylepessell1350 7 років тому +27

      Ha. A true enthusiast would have the rules memorized. Looking at the book is for the GM only.

    • @invenblocker
      @invenblocker 7 років тому +61

      A true enthusiast knows not to even gaze in the direction of something that as much as resembles the grappling rules.

    • @Psychol-Snooper
      @Psychol-Snooper 7 років тому +3

      Holy fuck.. who says "enthusiast" anymore?! XD

    • @liv5645
      @liv5645 7 років тому +75

      Only a true enthusiast.

    • @kylepessell1350
      @kylepessell1350 7 років тому +30

      You wish you could enthuse like a true enthusiast enthuses.

  • @MD-pg1fh
    @MD-pg1fh 7 років тому +2448

    DnD is so well suited to your style of videos. All in favor of a series say aye.

  • @ventusvindictus
    @ventusvindictus 7 років тому +626

    "Rocks fall; everybody dies."
    My God. They've reached 1.25 Hendersons!

    • @Asrashas
      @Asrashas 7 років тому +26

      Nah. If they even reached 0.5 Hendersons they wouldn't die to something like falling rocks fam

    • @billlupin8345
      @billlupin8345 7 років тому +34

      Nope. When Henderson is involved, rocks fall and _everyone else_ dies.

    • @thebastard890
      @thebastard890 6 років тому +16

      FUCKING HENDERSON
      OF ALL PLACES _HERE_ IS WHERE I FIND IT?

    • @hirocarupu8746
      @hirocarupu8746 5 років тому +3

      I only have half a Henderson.
      I still need to grind

    • @lucasbeck1391
      @lucasbeck1391 5 років тому +2

      Can someone explain this please

  • @LogoMotive11
    @LogoMotive11 7 років тому +163

    "actually I took the rock catching feat"
    "still raging.."
    "raaaaaah"
    I'm dying

    • @eric_moore-6126
      @eric_moore-6126 3 роки тому +1

      Seems like *you* should have taken the rock catching feat.

    • @icevlad148
      @icevlad148 Рік тому

      if he kept on raging, that means he didn't die so, the feat worked

  • @sarahalex4057
    @sarahalex4057 7 років тому +4453

    When I DM I play an atheist god who is shocked at his own existence

    • @Walterdecarvalh0100
      @Walterdecarvalh0100 7 років тому +731

      Zachary Vallejos wouldn't a atheist god just believe there is no higher power than himself?

    • @nanitemakesstuff1520
      @nanitemakesstuff1520 7 років тому +63

      Sounds fun :o

    • @N1GHTH4WK986
      @N1GHTH4WK986 7 років тому +277

      Zachary Vallejos I have a "similar" PC in a group right now. He is an ancient God that was imprisoned, but has gone mildly insane and can't remember who he was other than that he was a god. It's hilarious.

    • @ThePongles
      @ThePongles 7 років тому +96

      +Walter Carvalho So... Rick Sanchez?

    • @iordainbreathnach5852
      @iordainbreathnach5852 7 років тому +30

      N1GHTH4WK986 Kanye West?

  • @MrC0MPUT3R
    @MrC0MPUT3R 7 років тому +1375

    I go for the like button and...
    *dice sounds*
    I cook a lovely brunch instead... what?

    • @MrC0MPUT3R
      @MrC0MPUT3R 7 років тому +21

      (Just kidding you guys are awesome)

    • @plaidchickens3271
      @plaidchickens3271 7 років тому +29

      I tried to reply to this comment: I roll a twenty what does that do

    • @MrC0MPUT3R
      @MrC0MPUT3R 7 років тому +31

      +Plaid Chickens
      You teach a chicken to peck out your comment for you as you are too lazy. The chicken dies of syphilis after the reply is posted.

    • @plaidchickens3271
      @plaidchickens3271 7 років тому +13

      +MrC0MPUT3R I then do a backflip out of excitement: *rolls a one* uhnoh

    • @MrC0MPUT3R
      @MrC0MPUT3R 7 років тому +40

      +Plaid Chickens
      Your backflip is so energetic that you fly 30 ft into the air. Wind resistance causes your rotation to stop and you plummet to the ground headfirst and pancake into the surface. All that is left after the ordeal is a pair of twitching legs sticking out of a mass of blood and bone. Also syphilis.

  • @invenblocker
    @invenblocker 7 років тому +874

    The title says D&D, but the villain pulled out the Pathfinder Core Rulebook.

    • @Berathan-dnd
      @Berathan-dnd 7 років тому +167

      Pathfinder is basically 3.5 edition D&D that was put out when Wizards of the Coast messed up in 4th edition.

    • @lordthor5951
      @lordthor5951 7 років тому +93

      Also D&D is basically catch-all for everything desktop RPG

    • @Troglodytarum
      @Troglodytarum 7 років тому +6

      Kevin Munzer But it isnt d&d tho

    • @Berathan-dnd
      @Berathan-dnd 7 років тому +45

      HacaPotato it isn't D&D in name but it is nearly identical to 3.5 edition D&D save for some refinement and not using copyrighted monsters.

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +262

      We just used it in the title because it's more recognizable, and is almost used as a general term for any similar fantasy tabletop RPG at this point. But you're right, most of the video is referencing Pathfinder more than D&D.

  • @Nechrostriker4
    @Nechrostriker4 7 років тому +157

    "There's no way you're related to a drow."
    "Still raging."
    *"Ugh, you white!"*

    • @TealTheDropster
      @TealTheDropster 3 роки тому +2

      Pretty sure he meant "wight"for those who have no idea this comment is supposed to eb a joke

    • @CoralCopperHead
      @CoralCopperHead 3 роки тому +2

      @@TealTheDropster ...No, he meant "White." Drow skin tones range from tar-black to midnight blue. In what world does calling someone an undead creature work as a punchline about someone's heritage?

    • @TealTheDropster
      @TealTheDropster 3 роки тому

      @@CoralCopperHead ah my bad

  • @jheluum
    @jheluum 7 років тому +75

    The last time I played D&D, I played as a bard. And this is EXACTLY how it went for me

    • @freyamiles3718
      @freyamiles3718 4 роки тому +1

      Yes same, tho with my high performance stat I was able to get bandits to believe that dragons were comming down

  • @Salfur
    @Salfur 7 років тому +236

    I finally did it! After 26 hours 3 mins and 15 secs (spread throughout about 2 weeks) I have watched all the videos on the Door Monster channel, and I mean ALL of them. (The total time does not include the fact that I shamelessly watched TGT and this video 3 times each.)
    Just for the record it took me about 1 hour and three sheets of blank paper to do all the math... I regret nothing. You're welcome.
    ...There was probably a faster and easier way to figure all this math out...

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +94

      Holy hell, dude, you deserve a medal for that. We don't have one, but we feel like you could probably make one for yourself faster than we could at this rate.

    • @Salfur
      @Salfur 7 років тому +36

      Crap, just realized I forgot to take into account the first episode of Altered Egos. So, make that 32 hours 20 mins and 15 secs.

    • @DisNotAToast
      @DisNotAToast 4 роки тому +2

      Have you watched all the new videos?

  • @misterproject8
    @misterproject8 7 років тому +204

    I have a friend that thinks he can change classes every 5 seconds. He uses bows, once tried to use a katana, likes to steal things, tried to learn spells, and wears heavy armor.

    • @hulberto8106
      @hulberto8106 7 років тому +35

      I can understand if he just likes to play a bunch of classes and is indecisive, but that's when you just play reckless characters with low Constitution. It's what I do.

    • @Alex-pm9vy
      @Alex-pm9vy 7 років тому +50

      Lemon Ice Cream Just let him play a Fighter, that'll pretty much solve his problems

    • @1337w0n
      @1337w0n 7 років тому +8

      Is he a Factotum? If not, turn him toward dungeonscape. He'll thank you.

    • @Bluecho4
      @Bluecho4 7 років тому +22

      If it's D&D 5e, a Fighter can do all of those things, so long as he took the Eldritch Knight subclass and the Criminal background.

    • @azazelreeds
      @azazelreeds 7 років тому +7

      Yeah. If you take like 1 ranger, four rogue (assassin or thief), and all the rest fighter (eldritch knight) in 5E you can pretty much cover everything thoroughly except support roles like buffs and healing

  • @charlesdewitt8087
    @charlesdewitt8087 7 років тому +29

    I like Kyles outfit here, definitely something I'd wear as a DnD villain.

  • @CharlottePoe
    @CharlottePoe 7 років тому +16

    "I'll find the grappling rules."
    Me and everyone else: "NO"

  • @ColdIronHalo
    @ColdIronHalo 7 років тому +169

    "Trap builders guild" is one of the richest guilds in the world ... A Hole in the ground! = a pit trap = about 200 gp .. A hole in the ground with 3 sharpened sticks. SPIKED Pit trap .. 1000gp .. ..OOH! a covered hole in the ground with sharpened sticks in it ... HIDDEN PIT SPIKED TRAP!!!!.. 1250 GP.... See how they can be the richest guilds in the world

    • @einstin2
      @einstin2 7 років тому +60

      Foul Rabbit Hey now. Don't limo me in with those inferior trap makers. My hidden traps have four sharpened sticks in them. You know, just in case the other three miss.

    • @billlupin8345
      @billlupin8345 7 років тому +60

      It's not the materials, it's the expertise. You don't want to hire just any handyman for your trapmaking; god knows, he might embed the spikes upside down. How embarrassing would that be, for an adventurer to drop 10 feet through the floor atop a bed of blunt poles?
      (My god, I'm totally putting that in an adventure now.)

    • @isaiahf-d846
      @isaiahf-d846 5 років тому

      @@billlupin8345 that could still very well impale and it would hurt like hell

  • @dragonbear1505
    @dragonbear1505 7 років тому +527

    You guys managed to get a grasp(get it? because grappling) of how my friends and I play D&D against well.... anyone

    • @TheJthedog
      @TheJthedog 7 років тому +1

      Augustus anyone one whose every played DnD has faced these people, I’ve only played maybe 3 times and I’ve met them all three times.

    • @jakobdimauro9540
      @jakobdimauro9540 6 років тому

      August

  • @Irishcrossing
    @Irishcrossing 7 років тому +37

    Its like a big cluster of DnD 3.5, Pathfinder, and DnD 5e. Still all in all, it captures most games I have played and GMed.

    • @p-leif630
      @p-leif630 7 років тому +3

      I see the 35 and pathfidner hting but not 5e the grapling rules are easy and the guns are optional

    • @Irishcrossing
      @Irishcrossing 7 років тому +3

      3.5 has terrible grappling(he will or I will), and Pathfinder has some crazy ass rules for grappling, but 5e has that advantage for flanking, and advantage over all.

    • @p-leif630
      @p-leif630 7 років тому +1

      so the advange ruel is easy and flanking is an optional rule

  • @WakkasLove
    @WakkasLove 7 років тому +5

    "Rocks fall. Everyone dies." Still a classic and loved this!

  • @J215J
    @J215J 5 років тому +1

    3:04 The DM probably said, "The Gods were so woefully filled with boredum they wanted to see some action instead of your nonesensical bickering. They smite you down with boulders killing everyone in the party instantanously." (DM outside of the game) Augh come on you guys really?! Imma just go and make a new campaign.

  • @thalia.tenebris
    @thalia.tenebris 6 років тому +4

    When the GM has lost their patience : "Rocks fall! Everyone's dead!"

  • @thatguyoverthere468
    @thatguyoverthere468 2 роки тому +3

    2:38 that’s genius!! I love it so much 😂

  • @plaidchickens3271
    @plaidchickens3271 7 років тому +294

    "Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me..." What just some inspiration for everbody. Shrek:"Yeah if you say so"

    • @dogethebountyhunter7432
      @dogethebountyhunter7432 7 років тому +1

      What are you doing in my swamp

    • @plaidchickens3271
      @plaidchickens3271 7 років тому +9

      +Doge the Bounty Hunter Uhhhhhh there is free wifi man

    • @iSaintRichie23
      @iSaintRichie23 7 років тому +5

      I never hear that line, I only hear, "Somebody once told me the world was macaroni," and it is now canon for me.

    • @BalthorYT
      @BalthorYT 7 років тому +5

      You definitely aren't the sharpest tool in the shed, my friend.

    • @Zalamandar
      @Zalamandar 6 років тому

      “On the road again... I can’t wait to get on the road again!”
      “WHAT did I say about SINGING!?”

  • @thepirate4861
    @thepirate4861 7 років тому +362

    "quarter elven worshipers of shoelaces." I'm mostly unfamiliar with pathfinder, does this actually make sense in context?

    • @victoriazilverentant5593
      @victoriazilverentant5593 7 років тому +323

      that all depends on how drunk your DM was when he wrote the campaign

    • @chadfalkin6850
      @chadfalkin6850 7 років тому +50

      short answer no but you could probably add enough expansions for it to work and it's actually close as is

    • @Irishcrossing
      @Irishcrossing 7 років тому +134

      the actual phrase? no. The phrases meaning in terms of the ridiculous amount of traits in pathfinder? Yes. Paizo has a nasty habit of making situational traits, and by situational I mean, literally you could find something exactly that specific as a trait or a feat despite paizo's other nasty habit of making very powerful general traits and feats.

    • @rhyzvanic3660
      @rhyzvanic3660 7 років тому +84

      It's a reference to a habit of specific bonuses to obscure situations, like having a bonus of to hit and to damage against dragons, while having a bonus to defence against giants ontop of being vulnerable to weapons made out of certian materials.
      Which can all be in effect at once with a half dragon giant wielding a cold iron club.

    • @Mr.Monster1984
      @Mr.Monster1984 5 років тому +7

      It's because feats are so specific

  • @Alexaflohr
    @Alexaflohr 7 років тому +9

    And this is why I play Savage Worlds. Fast combats, easy rules, and if you don't plan ahead of time, you don't have time to plan in battle.

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +5

      Sounds very interesting... we'll have to take a look at that one.

  • @tim-buck-two7681
    @tim-buck-two7681 6 років тому +1

    1:35 subtitles go over the entire screem

  • @Darthwill44
    @Darthwill44 7 років тому +22

    Hooray for rocks falling and everyone dying!
    Never a sentence I thought I'd say.

  • @victoriazilverentant5593
    @victoriazilverentant5593 7 років тому +82

    this is recognisable, i once had a discussion eith one of my players about wheter or not she, as a GRIZZLY BEAR could leap over the full-plate clad dragonborn in a small hallway. oh and i also once had one of my players walk into a enemy hideout SINGING!

    • @SinerAthin
      @SinerAthin 7 років тому +14

      The actual jumping rules are hilarious xD

    • @webbowser8834
      @webbowser8834 4 роки тому

      Sneak sneak sneak into the enemy base without getting caught!

  • @PsychicRadroach
    @PsychicRadroach 7 років тому +6

    The prophecy told of this day. When Matt Locke returns to Door Monster, riding atop his noble steed.

  • @dmitriwillguard
    @dmitriwillguard 7 років тому +8

    Rocks fall. Everyone dies. Do not anger the DM.

  • @brodiebyrne4698
    @brodiebyrne4698 7 років тому +27

    I have only played d and d once and I dm'ed that game. It is very scary then that I still understood all of this personally. Especially the grappling. Screw that

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +23

      Grappling is the worst.

    • @JesperoTV
      @JesperoTV 7 років тому +4

      Well, unless you belong to the Quarter Elven Worshipers of Shoelaces, or if you take the racial trait where your grandpa's aunt is a Drow... Obviously!

  • @jratnerd
    @jratnerd 7 років тому +4

    reminds me of the final boss fight my group had last Wednesday. nice sketch guys.

  • @MerlosTheMad
    @MerlosTheMad 7 років тому +5

    Grappling's only a pain if you're still playing 3.5 for whatever reason. Pathfinder for the win baby!

  • @GeorgeMonet
    @GeorgeMonet 4 роки тому +1

    2:25 The Bard is right. The DM needs to redo the roll taking the Bard's skills and talents into consideration to determine if the Bard was actually hit or not. Just because the DM wants the Bard to be impaled by a javelin doesn't mean the Bard will be impaled by the javelin. So the Bard probably should avoid the throw given his skills and abilities and therefore isn't impaled by any Javelin. Honestly this sketch feels more like its about a DM who is upset the players aren't playing the way he wants them to so he abuses his power to try to force them to. That is a bad DM.

  • @Nixitur
    @Nixitur 7 років тому +16

    I never quite considered just how ridiculous maintaining Bardic Performance is. Because you could maintain your Bardic Performance as a free action, move, draw your weapon and then attack all in a single round.
    If your Bardic Performance is singing or oratory, I can sorta buy that, but you can do that with a fiddle, drums, a trumpet or just dance.

    • @SinerAthin
      @SinerAthin 7 років тому +5

      You hit the enemy...
      ... with your fiddle!

    • @GeorgeMonet
      @GeorgeMonet 6 років тому +3

      To begin with bards are horrendously ridiculous and super stupid as a concept.

    • @adzi6164
      @adzi6164 6 років тому

      imagine what Bards were at the very beginning of their existence in DnD... they were a first thing which could be called a "prestige class", requiring multiple levels in Fighter AND Druid... crazy shit.

    • @adamloga3788
      @adamloga3788 4 роки тому

      I now wanna be a Bard that carries a Church Organ around everywhere.

  • @micahphilson
    @micahphilson 6 років тому +2

    That was the best ending of any D&D sketch they've made.
    The most realistic for sure!

  • @WakkasLove
    @WakkasLove 6 років тому +3

    The bard. It's like he was channeling my first bard character.😂😂😂😂

  • @DancingTherapist
    @DancingTherapist 7 років тому

    As a long time GM, you don't know how much this spoke to me. I love you guys.

  • @TNTJBOOM
    @TNTJBOOM 7 років тому +6

    0:31 You missed the most powerful item of all! The magic sponsored Nike shoooooooes!

    • @TNTJBOOM
      @TNTJBOOM 7 років тому +1

      Wait, are those Nike?

  • @amirysyafy4801
    @amirysyafy4801 6 років тому

    Man I love this channel so much.

  • @renai8028
    @renai8028 7 років тому +52

    I guess that villain is ... the Shadow.

    • @ifonlyicouldstop
      @ifonlyicouldstop 7 років тому +4

      mavericking only the shadow knows.

    • @NorninTGK
      @NorninTGK 7 років тому +16

      The Shadow.

    • @grindstone4910
      @grindstone4910 7 років тому +15

      The Shadow!

    • @Bluecho4
      @Bluecho4 7 років тому +5

      "The weed of crime bears bitter fruit."

    • @yaujj65
      @yaujj65 6 років тому

      The Shadow from Derp Online ?

  • @MrAsolador
    @MrAsolador 7 років тому

    please more of this D&D parodies! this is gold

  • @AK-tr6lo
    @AK-tr6lo 7 років тому +8

    That was fantastic!

  • @jarlbreadmaker
    @jarlbreadmaker 7 років тому

    This channel is honestly if the kinda jokes I made with friends was acted on well into videos. Which I think is why I love it

  • @Window_Hero
    @Window_Hero 7 років тому +28

    1:16 Okay, so Kyle actually drank something there, what was it?

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +50

      Orange Fanta.

    • @victoriazilverentant5593
      @victoriazilverentant5593 7 років тому +5

      uhhhhm isnt fanta always orange?

    • @Window_Hero
      @Window_Hero 7 років тому +19

      Excuse me, Grape Fanta is fantastic and quite common, but Pineapple Fanta and myriad other flavors also exist.

    • @chainer8686
      @chainer8686 6 років тому +1

      In Miami, yellow and red fanta are most common

    • @ChaosSolak
      @ChaosSolak 6 років тому +4

      Green Fanta would be invisible for him anyway so... Better stick to the classics.

  • @olopi99
    @olopi99 7 років тому

    One of the best videos so far, in my opinion.

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому

      Ours too, actually. This one just came out really good.

  • @highpriestofthosewhoremain5931
    @highpriestofthosewhoremain5931 7 років тому +54

    Hail, enthusiastic followers of the 'Door Monster', and the members of that most exalted company. I hope that you, as did I, found this to be a highly enjoyable viewing experience. I would, however, have engaged this mysterious opponent in different manner than this group of intrepid travellers. The Order Fidelissimorum of Those Who Remain would be honoured to dispatch a War-Congregation of Battle-Cathedrals and Combat-Abbeys to their aid. I believe that a member of your trio, who answers to the name of 'Jefferey' in more regular company, would be thrilled to be instructed by one of my Sniper-Organists.
    Farewell, and praise to the God-Moderator.

    • @jeffereyneely8668
      @jeffereyneely8668 7 років тому +4

      High Priest of Those Who Remain How would one snipe with an organ?

    • @highpriestofthosewhoremain5931
      @highpriestofthosewhoremain5931 7 років тому +8

      With great skill and a fundamental understanding of the air pressures generated within the pipes. They are indeed masters of the arcane discipline of ballistics.

    • @victoriazilverentant5593
      @victoriazilverentant5593 7 років тому +3

      Wow, you could snipe someones organ with an organ!

    • @highpriestofthosewhoremain5931
      @highpriestofthosewhoremain5931 7 років тому +4

      Indeed. Our Organists have developed a form of wager based on impacting different organs within their targets.

    • @dogethebountyhunter7432
      @dogethebountyhunter7432 7 років тому

      +High Priest of Those Who Remain well I find your comment very appalling, I find it very annoying that in every video I see I see a comment about the super exclusive club with down below a list of "cringy" replies I should hope in the future you will seek mental help so you can write funny comments like or normal person or at the least do not constantly promote your own group of no worth. -Your true friend Doge the bounty hunter

  • @thismachine7089
    @thismachine7089 7 років тому

    I honestly can't comprehend why this channel doesn't have more subscribers.

  • @meganb.2249
    @meganb.2249 6 років тому +3

    "You're still raging!"
    "Ugh! You white!"
    LOL

  • @Ninjastahr
    @Ninjastahr 7 років тому

    Perfect timing for this; I've been binge watching all of Critical Role for the last week or so & I played the first session of my own game yesterday.

  • @nutloaf5755
    @nutloaf5755 7 років тому +7

    thought this was gonna be kinda cringey tbh but it was actually really hilarious nice work :D

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +5

      Thanks! That's not an uncommon first assumption.

  • @Kosake82
    @Kosake82 6 років тому +1

    "Still raging."
    "AAAAHHHHRRRRGGG!"
    LOL :D

  • @SSGTstealth
    @SSGTstealth 7 років тому +45

    We feel as though we would fail to do well in a game of D&D as we are too straightforward

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +11

      It would be fascinating to watch your decision-making process, though. In fact:
      You are Unit #5712, a fictional dashing adventurer recently assimilated into the Collective. You are in a tavern in the late evening. A solo musician plays the lute in the corner, and the general atmosphere is cozy as other patrons mill about, drink, laugh, and tell stories. What do you do?

    • @SSGTstealth
      @SSGTstealth 7 років тому +7

      We simply observe the surroundings to assess possible threats

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +8

      Assuming you have a random number generator built into your brain in some way or another, randomly select an integer greater than or equal to 1 but less than or equal to 20.

    • @SSGTstealth
      @SSGTstealth 7 років тому +9

      13

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +8

      For the most part, nothing really stands out as a threat. However, in one far corner of the room, a large, brutish man covered in battle scars sits at a table alone. He holds tightly to a drink and watches the other patrons intently.

  • @pablo2495
    @pablo2495 5 років тому +1

    I can just hear him saying “Rocks fall; Everyone dies”

  • @unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083
    @unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083 7 років тому +3

    The DM here is being a rules lawyer.

  • @blackfeathers2166
    @blackfeathers2166 6 років тому

    I get a lot of trouble like this in my sessions, seriously, this video express perfectly what a DM get in a session

  • @willfish2586
    @willfish2586 7 років тому +44

    Are you guys doing RPG content now?? Yis plz

    • @nice3333333333
      @nice3333333333 7 років тому +1

      I like your profile pic. Sid Meier's salt?

    • @willfish2586
      @willfish2586 7 років тому +1

      Simon -PFL that is correct, it's the salt icon from civ 5.

    • @nice3333333333
      @nice3333333333 7 років тому

      +CaptinFannin
      Nice. I do wonder though how you came to the decision that a depiction of salt in a bottle should be your profile pic? Seems so lovely though random.

    • @bsmith6784
      @bsmith6784 6 років тому

      cuz he makes people salty

  • @TheOwlslayer
    @TheOwlslayer 7 років тому

    As a pathfinder DM, this hits right in so many places. Absolutely great work, made me laugh hard!

  • @HipsterKaren
    @HipsterKaren 7 років тому +8

    1:54 gotta love that outrage culture reference.

  • @-drcoconut-9240
    @-drcoconut-9240 6 років тому

    So many bird sounds in the background! I just noticed it, and now it's all I can hear.

  • @blanco173
    @blanco173 7 років тому +17

    How do I reload a flintlock pistol so fast?
    The rule of cool.

    • @lordjor96
      @lordjor96 4 роки тому +1

      Plot twist he had 4 pistols loaded "pirate style"

  • @demonshadows1
    @demonshadows1 7 років тому

    I've never had to have a conversation like that, I pray for when I do; it will be legendary.

  • @ohmwrecker8281
    @ohmwrecker8281 7 років тому +8

    ahhh the old rocks fall and everyone dies cliche

  • @MewnFrostFang
    @MewnFrostFang 7 років тому

    This video made me subscribe. I watched this and since then I have watched aproximately 10 other videos, It's like a gateway drug but for funny sketches. Keep up the amazing work!

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому

      Welcome to the channel :D And thanks for watching!

  • @gmacwizard8890
    @gmacwizard8890 7 років тому +7

    Yesterday we had a 3 team dungeon raid the ended up with all three teams needing to preform a special task our team took our time planing to be efficient in completeing our task when the other teams just dived right in it and one had fought a undead dragon that could only be killed once we were done so they were complaining we took to long we'll the planing payed off we had dropped all the wards and removed the staff protecting the dragon from the room before the cult wizards got to act at all. Take the time to plan kids

  • @arsenovadragonov
    @arsenovadragonov 6 років тому +2

    oh... boulders. the favoured dm tool

  • @Jatre
    @Jatre 7 років тому +3

    You know, the grapple joke works far better if you were using any other edition.
    Pathfinder made it super simple. There's even a flowchart! www.d20pfsrd.com/gamemastering/combat/#TOC-Grapple

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +9

      +Jatti We'd like to offer a counter -- there's a flowchart.

  • @ThatOneGuy-wr8rh
    @ThatOneGuy-wr8rh 4 роки тому +1

    The "You are the most persuasive person in the world, but you kill everyone you meet." part is... horribly accurate.

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 7 років тому +9

    Very accurate. Absolutely hilarious. Typical. Why won't you make mediocre content now and then?

    • @DoorMonster
      @DoorMonster  7 років тому +42

      If we did that, we couldn't complain about not having more subscribers.

  • @isaacshultz8128
    @isaacshultz8128 7 років тому

    Great video, so many tropes. I have threatened the "rocks fall" thing unfortunately for my group of newbies.

  • @cjayhay
    @cjayhay 7 років тому +5

    Talking is a free action!

  • @jonathanmares8831
    @jonathanmares8831 7 років тому +2

    EVERY SINGLE D&D SESSION EVER!

  • @base330films9
    @base330films9 7 років тому

    You are an awesome channel. Can't believe I never found you before. KEEP IT UP!

  • @alias613
    @alias613 7 років тому

    Please make more of these!

  • @otteroftoast2616
    @otteroftoast2616 7 років тому

    I played only 5 minutes of D&D (and what a euphoric 5 minutes they were), and I experienced all of this. And it was wonderful.

  • @SirNightmareFuel
    @SirNightmareFuel 7 років тому

    The grappling rules reference was fantastic.

  • @wafflemaker6590
    @wafflemaker6590 7 років тому +1

    Dude I love D&D

  • @magnusscheescake140
    @magnusscheescake140 5 років тому +1

    But after 1 round of standard action of bard inspiration, it is a free action every turn after, counting as 1 hand slot. This lets you use a sword while you play your music as bard, or casting a spell.

  • @jiggiesplanet
    @jiggiesplanet 7 років тому +2

    Rocks fall, everyone dies

  • @Aechelian
    @Aechelian 7 років тому +1

    I was going to comment about the flintlock reloading, but Kyle beat me to it.

  • @Marinealver
    @Marinealver 7 років тому

    D&D where a 2 day journey is complete in 2 minuets, but a 5 minuet long battle takes 2 hours.

  • @helgahufflepuff662
    @helgahufflepuff662 7 років тому

    I love DND and this is BEAUTIFUL

  • @tsharabrown3719
    @tsharabrown3719 4 роки тому

    My Bard plays the violin aggressively at you!

  • @shweetgamrgirl
    @shweetgamrgirl 7 років тому

    This is amazing :) thank you!!

  • @devastator5042
    @devastator5042 7 років тому +1

    This was wonderful, and surprisingly true

  • @MetallicBascinet
    @MetallicBascinet 7 років тому

    Being a DM is so much more complicated that I'd thought it'd be.

  • @janmoravek157
    @janmoravek157 4 роки тому

    Good lord, that javelin... that javelin... I can see half of it there, and the other half is lower, so the javelin either weirdly bend, or theres teleport magic!

  • @dutchtheguy849
    @dutchtheguy849 7 років тому +2

    There is always that guy, that explains everything.
    Which is me.
    why... me, why do I do this.
    *Forever Alone*

  • @dipperjc
    @dipperjc 7 років тому

    Ahhh. Rocks fall, everybody dies. Classic. :)

  • @mikesands4681
    @mikesands4681 4 роки тому

    Loved the grappling and rage jokes

  • @charthezombiehound8952
    @charthezombiehound8952 4 роки тому +2

    45 seconds to load a flintlock pistol? Armies were trained to fire 3 to 4 shots a minute WITH MUSKETS AND RIFLES which take more time to load, it should take a pistol 10 to 20 seconds to load.
    you take the cartridge, bite or rip the bullet off, pour some gunpowder in the side dish, close it, pour the rest of the powder down the barrel, insert the bullet inside the barrel, then either tap it with enough strength (tap loading, like British peninsular war Fusiliers did) or take the rod and jam the bullet all the way down the barrel, put the rod back in place if you used it, you're good to go.
    in a musket or rifle same deal, if you want a physical representation here you go:
    ua-cam.com/video/Pvc86ggLUY4/v-deo.html
    ua-cam.com/video/YpoDO9uucNw/v-deo.html

  • @terrorcop101
    @terrorcop101 5 років тому

    "Rocks fall, everyone dies." The old DM fallback.

  • @doxazo5512
    @doxazo5512 6 років тому +2

    Still the best DND sketch

  • @timur22993
    @timur22993 3 роки тому

    "If everybody had been killing each other as they were supposed to, I wouldn't have to be here."

  • @marcgregory3290
    @marcgregory3290 7 років тому

    I just started a path finder campaign. this is my party.

  • @TheApoke
    @TheApoke 7 років тому

    This channels awesome! Reminds me of old college humor.