Breaking dating "rules" is like, one of the most efficient ways to find a better match for yourself. I'm all about filtering people out - filter out those people who would mind or be weirded out or be tiny widdle baby scawed of communication from you (I laughed for 900 years at Mirror Julie mocking the scared little grown adult man).
Breaking dating rules was how I met my husband. I ordered garlic scallops on our first date. When he heard I liked the musical Evita he bought me the Evita CD in Korean on our second date. And on the third date we talked about our fathers issues which included agoraphobia and a rage alcoholic among other’s. We celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary this week.
SCHOOL! The answer is I don't go! Why go? I am famous. I am famous. I have more fans than fingers multiplied with toes multiplied with teeth multiplied with ears. I am famous. I am famous. SCHOOL? No, thanks. UA-cam FAME? Yes. Good day, dear vor
@@julienolke Love it! Presuming you’ll guarantee shipment to Europe, I’m all in! (Granted that the shipping costs won’t force me to sell one of my children in order to afford them……)
I've ALWAYS been honest and Do Unto Others. There has not ONCE been a time that worked out for me. I LOST the girls of my dreams.....EVERY SINGLE TIME.....by merely treating them the way I want to be treated. (EX: the rare times I hook up with a gal, they are super-human, cuz so am i.... but if I'm totally honest.....they know THEY CAN TAKE ME FOR GRANTED. I lost one of the greatest gals of all time.... [ex: we started making genius music together at 2 am outdoors under the summer stars in NYC an hour after meeting!!] ....and ALL I had to do was PLAY THE GAME and make her jealous blah blah blah.)
When I met my bf I wasn't expecting a relationship so I was just completely myself and honest. We enjoyed each other's company so we stuck around. We never played games. Being myself from the beginning has relieved so much pressure to keep myself seeming perfect. Closing in on 6 years and still going strong ❤️
"I said what I said" - MAN! Gotta love Mirror Julie's resolve on her non-specific, unhelpful comment. I need to remember to say that the next time I make zero contribution to a conversation, yet want to sound insightful.
It's interesting how women need to feel a part of a group to be empowered. This need seems to persist in the face of endless cope of women psyching themselves up as "strong and independent"
For that one line, a noticed she didn't use the sparkly nail polish brand by that other great Canadian youtuber Bentendo (or his girlfriend). But that wouldn't be worth the denigrating remarks.
This. All this. If we can circle to consent, and remind ourselves that enthusiastic consent is the gold standard, and the hottest thing two people can share- if someone isn't genuinely interested in being with you, and you don't feel the same, that should be a turn off. I'm an adult woman, out of respect for myself, I don't waste my time with people who want to waste mine. If you think of any of the reasons why someone would string you along, none of them are qualities that contribute to a healthy long term relationship. Immaturity, not wanting commitment, disinterest, a lack of respect for other people's time and feelings, viewing sex/relationships as a game, inability to be emotionally available, etc. Why would I want that? Not to say that it's irredeemable, I'm just not looking for a project. I want someone on the same page as me now, not maybe on the same page as me 5 years from now.
@@Kelly_Ben Hey, I thought those were wierd hairy potatoes but now I see that they are hands 👏 clapping (duh!) and I whole heartedly agree with you. Cheers to Victoria in knowing what she wants and not wanting to settle for anything less! Though life happens and seldom is what we thought it ought to be... wet toilet paper and all. 🗽 Heres to Julie (both of you) and Victoria and Kelly and everyone reading these comments and especially those responding. Thank you all for starting me off on a wonderful day inspite of all the horrible things that could happen to anyone of us, at least we started well. Thanks also to the sponsor "Better Help" for making this all possible! 👌 😎 😍 ✌
I agree with your sentiment but less so in your word choice. I wouldn't say consent per say because consent is something different i would say instead that you are looking for stronger self respect and self discipline. If everyone valued themselves more they would intrinsically see that others need to be valued as well. The sexiest thing you can be is yourself. Own it 100% and completely and as Julie has said in another video be the best Teriyaki wings you can be and someone will appreciate you for being Teriyaki.
So you are looking for a person that will immediately trust you without finding out if you are the thing they hope you are? The reason people "play a game" is because they figure sht out before committing. Just because you know what you are doesn't mean the other side knows and it could take time to understand what you are and then decide if they like it or not. And if you are dishonest, yeah, it could take 5 years. It takes time to know a person. I agree that certain social norms are annoying and unnecessary but in general idea of the game is very valid. It could simplified but it would be hard to get thousands of years of courtship to fall into your ideal version of the process. It takes time to know a person for real. Just because they might seem right at first, doesn't mean they are right after you peel the mask (if they are wearing any). Reality is what it is. And as inconvenient as it might appear, when you rationally look at it, it makes sense.
An incredible video. Goodness, I hate the unwritten rules of texting that have developed over the last decade or so. I'm fortunate to be in a happy, committed relationship, but I see SO many of my friends struggling because they can't figure out how to text the people they care about or want to care about because they're overthinking EVERYTHING. It's sad.
It is sad indeed. I think that one of the things that would scare me the most if I ended up single again would definitely be having to go back to this unbearable set of unwritten dating rules. For ex. you have to wait a bit to reply in order not to seem eager, but you don't want to reply too late because then you'll look uninterested, or maybe you want to ask the other person about their day but then you might sound oppressive... and then people wonder why their romantic partners aren't sincere!
Hahaha - I never manged to figure out why I'd want to care more about any particular person or persons than anyone else. Seems kind of discriminatory at best & bigotry at worst. so I give some people the time of day but not others? Why? Are some people more deserving of it? How does it work? What are the rules? I got so confused about it I gave up trying to figure it out long ago. So needless to say I don't have any texting problems to even have to deal with.
To be fair all those rules existed with telephone and e-mail 20 years ago 😅 (and yeah those ‘rules’ suck and honest open communication is where it’s at!)
There are unwritten rules in every social situation. Nothing wrong with texting back immediately if you're able to, if anything it shows some confidence that you're not too bound by the rules. But it would be strange if you're always able to do so - doesn't life just naturally get in the way sometimes?
It's kind of a prisoner's dilemma type of situation: A. we all play the game and we're worse off; B. nobody plays the game and we're all spared a ton of stress; C. Only some people choose to play it and others don't. So in this scenario those who choose to play will have an edge over those who don't. Then people who don't play will see that they are vulnerable and decide to start playing. And then we're back at situation A.
I don't agree with this statement ;) we forget that it's not actually about the other person at all. The other person starts playing when you were vulnerable? Ok, that's alright. I say thank you and bye. There is no need to start playing the games too. I had people come back a few months later after they realised that I will clearly not contact them again of they are not meeting my standards and then trying super hard to meet me where I am. I don't believe it's the game player's fault. It's our fault if we believe we have to match something that is not healthy for us. If all women agree to non committal sex than there is no need to committ and be monogamous is there? You want to be with me, show me. You don't want to be with me? No problem. You are not the only one to ask.
@@johannamonapa5368 if you can leave a person just like that without a second thought, then are you really being vulnerable? Are you vulnerable at all? If I was dating you, just knowing you could do that would make me act more careful and not open up too much for fear of getting my heart broken :p
@@johannamonapa5368 "If all women agree to non committal sex than there is no need to committ and be monogamous is there?" Wait what? That is such a bleak and misanthropic thing to say. People aren't sex toys and relationships aren't sex contracts. You want to be with me because you want to be with me? Perfect, let's do it. You want to be with me because I can provide regular sex? Fuck right off. That right there is the best way to establish terrible relationships that hurt everyone involved
@@Dracomandriuthus Yes but if the other person is playing then you are just hitting your head on the wall. Recently had this experience and I feel so sad that why the world can't be mature. It's not in my nature to play games even if I tried I would fail that makes me even more sad! I feel like I will be single for the rest of my life.
I never followed the dating rules and my friends always yelled at me for it. Why should I wait to find out if we are compatible on the big stuff like kids, politics, finances, etc until later. If we don't align in the beginning it's just going to lead to heartbreak later. I say always ask the questions you need answers too and be upfront, I would rather hurt when it doesn't work out after a few dates verses a few months or years.
Damn, I actually needed this. Been circling around a weird maybe-relationship with someone and this has encouraged me to talk to them about stuff. Thanks Mirror!Julie
You're either good at acting, because the lines often come very natural and have realistic pacing; or you're not acting at all because Mirror Julie is real and she's coming for us all
All the people who ever tried the honest approach are feeling sorry for everyone else who will never understand how incredibly hilarious the whole discussion is.
Honesty is never the best policy in actually every area of life. We even lie to ourselves often. I'd say it's more about transparency & ofc types that one actually can vibe with.
Some guys appreciate genuine, direct and open communication without games, where people can express their real feelings and needs. Screw the rules. Find someone else that doesn't want them.
@@MsZephyra If you are upfront without games it'll be clear if the man you are on a date with they'll make it clear for you. This will thin some people out but genuine men looking for what you are will stay.
@@MsZephyra I totally agree with what Zebedee said, but I would also add, men that are willing to grow and communicate straight from the start is a good sign. And appropriately to the sponsor of the video, guys that have been in counseling or are open to it helps too. A lot of it though is a maturity thing and a learned thing. People of all genders tend more toward healthy communication and away from playing games the older they get, but some people that learned healthier communication growing up (or through therapy or past relationships) tend to get on track with it sooner and younger.
The moment I put my foot down and was up front with every guy I considered dating I found my husband. It took approximately 1 year from the day I decided I was going to tell guys that I am looking for a long term relationship which will lead to marriage and children. I asked the hard questions on the first date: do you want kids? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Are you ready for a serious relationship? What are you looking for in a wife? These questions meant that all the waste of time scared of commitment f***boys never asked for a second date. I've been happily married 7 years this year to an amazing man who has his head screwed on right and will one day make an amazing Dad (also he is funny and good looking). We have built a life together and are now starting IVF.
1000% I did something similar when I was feeling ready. It's funny what will happen once you stop putting up with bs. I made a list of non negotiable qualities and stuck with it, it was a matter of months before I met my now husband in 2009. We have two beautiful kids, wouldn't have done anything different. Imagine if most women(and men) would stop putting up with the "peter pan's" of this world, we'd probably have more cohesion and less loneliness in society. Cept the f*** boys, they'd be SOL Best of luck with IVF! Parenthood is not for the faint of heart but it is the most rewarding blessing
Good for you. Back when I was on the market for nothing more than concurrent casual flings, I always respected women who were looking for a serious monogamous relationship. A couple of the ones I met from that time are still good friends of mine, that never would've happened if we hadn't been honest with each other
IVF? I've heard that the old fashioned method is way more fun. I don't know what your situation is, but I do think that people today especially women wait too long until trying to settle down and not realizing that it is this very behavior that encourages the plethora of f***boys. If women continue to serial date in their most fertile years then they should not be surprised if the men that they meet also adapt to meet them in that space. Many women fail to realize that by serial dating that they are actually decreasing their options because they are becoming older, less fertile and therefore less desirable.
Oooo, this one felt next level to me! LOVE you going meta and exploring all the possible ways to use your fabulous platform, Julie. Thank you for the understated call out to us all to be more honest and authentic. I so appreciate you and your layered creativity.
I was on a first date and my date asked me what I was looking for. I said “A second date”. I asked her what she was looking for and she said “A husband and three children.” We’ve been married now for almost 14 years. Yes, she broke the rules, but I liked the fact that I knew what she was looking for and didn’t play games.
These are always sooo great Julie. Great work. Except now every time I walk by my mirror I low key half wish my reflection would roast me 🤣 Keep em common!
Just looking for deep meaning in the switch from martini to wine glass.... and, once again thanking you for the hilarious spot-on observations eloquently portrayed!
Hey Julie. Hope you read this, for a man who has been single for 10 years, it is so tiring being told that I am a good man, but I need to play the game. You're videos are hilarious, but this one is just too real. I'm trying to lead the charge in just being an honest person with people I'm attracted to, but always end up second guessing what I "have to say/do" to fit in the rules of the game. In turn this means I end up second guessing myself. Thank you for using this platform to make bitter pills much funnier to swallow. :)
Omg this is so true!! So many rules because of all the commitment issues everybody seems to have when they are 30+ 🙄🙄 you're right, let's just be honest and say what we need. And the people that can't handle it, can leave :)
I've always found these games ridiculous. Even as a child watching Aquamarine, I thought those rules were silly, especially because not everyone's following the same rulebook or think the same way. If I'm on my phone and see a text, I'll text back. If I am doing something, I won't. If I'm unsure of something, I'll blatantly ask and not skirt around it. It's just as simple as that.
I'm feeling it! Honestly, Julie, you are my FAVORITE dollar store greeting card writer! (As well as comedy writer, actor, poetess, etc.) And, Mirror Julie, you are the new Gloria Steinem! LOVE YOU!
Totally agree with the sentiment, told my girlfriend at the time how I felt and what I wanted in a relationship, she said the same and a month into the relationship I proposed. Celebrated 26 year anniversary last July. Life is too short to not say how you feel and what you want.
As much as I appreciate Julie's performance in these, I've never been able to convince myself that "mirror" Julie is actually in a mirror. She looks like she's in an en suite bathroom. I cannot see it any differently no matter how I try.
Well, you're totally wrong. I don't know which is more amazing here; that the camera overcomes limitations of filming through a hard, shiny surface; or, that Julie and Mirror Julie manage to express different movements and expressions, simultaneously. Every time I try to film a conversation with my mirror self, he just sits there and does what I do. So frustrating, it's like he WANTS me to fail.
I love when Better help sponsers the vid i never skip it i always watch it till the end , gottaa increase the retention graph of the sponsers and hope you guys do the same if someone is reading this .
@@laurenpinschannels I've heard it's terrible for the therapists. The pay is bad, the hours are unpredictable / longer and the clients think they have access to their therapist 24/7
@@laurenpinschannels IDK either, but at least it's called "Better Help" and not "Best Help" or "Perfect Better Help" ...?? It seems more socially responsible than say Ivory Soap and a ton of others I can think of... 🌙
@@laurenpinschannels oh really i haven't seen it as a brown people i can say our nation doesn't believe in therapy 😂 Yes but I do believe everyone should try therapy! Well i guess you can't replace therapy as in person with digital therapy and also expect good pay it sucks that every system has it's flaws but hopefully they improve their Docs pay and improve user interface. Do you guys know better help always sponsers Anthony Paddia , they are a regular in his channel. , Any opinion on that guys ?
Laughing about the "thats betterhelp - H - E - L - P /Nolke" Well played. I am sure that that is not the word most people stumble over :) Oh, I so wanted to see Julie slap Mirror Julie ... How does one slap their mirror image?
One slaps their mirror image by slapping themselves while looking in a mirror. It would be hilarious to see Julie slap herself and then see Mirror Julie involuntarily slap herself with a look of shock and surprise. Imagine the power this would give Julie over Mirror Julie...
They think it works. It does, if the goal is to get to an orgasm or two and move on with another story to compare with the other empty souls you are competing against. If tell yourself you aren't trying to make a connection, there is no risk of being found wanting. Rejection isn't personal in the game, it doesn't mean anything but that you didn't play the game well enough, or the dice just didn't go your way. Win some, lose some, play again tomorrow.
I always think that as long as you're open and genuine, there's not much to go on that would be scary, with exceptions. Am I crazy? Like if someone sent me a text at 3 am, I would be like "ok, that's weird, but cool". And I would ask them something like "Hey, you do know that sending a text at 3 am is not the common practice, right? What happened?" and I would expect them to say something mildly logical, like "I have a night shift this week" or "I had a bad dream". The pretension games are so dumb. People lack self awareness and respect but then they expect you to follow social rules. Pwetensious liwel babies. The jokes in this video slapped! Great work Julie!
It’s so funny in the comments seeing all these girls be like “yassss queeeen😍🥰😍🥰 let’s turn the tide together!!!!!” And the next day they’re going to probably leave multiple people who are interested in them on read or lie to them because they’re too afraid to say no I don’t want this
Ya, There wouldn't be a game without the players. Been saying it for years. People need to stop being sheep and just be themselves. Yes If you're interested in someone let them see you are. what's so wrong with that? What women want needs to be as clear as possible. Once this becomes the norm then ass holes will have an easier time processing that no is no , not try harder. I can go on SUCH A RANT on that topic maybe I should start making videos. . .
Yass. It took me 20 years of relationships to figure this out, but now it's so refreshing and easy. (It's also easier in my late thirties/ early 40s because the majority of guys are a heck of a lot more mature, and know what they want. ) Also, double texting being a no- no goes with the 24/7 availability crap of today. I've got a busy life to live, and if I don't get back to someone in more than 4 hours and they need a response, PLEASE double text me. I probably haven't seen the first one, or was in a situation where I couldn't/ shouldn't text right back, and now I've spaced it.
I'm in my early 40s and what little effort I've spent dating (hasn't been my focus) in recent years, I honestly have seen the same playboy tendencies no matter the age...there are so many "options" and even if they see how great the woman right in front of them is, they always want to keep it moving...argh
Yeah I hate how some people want a text back within such a short window. Some of us don't check our phones for a few hours at a time. I'm early 30s but always thought of texts as less important, get to it when your free. You need me now, just call me.
@@MarylandFarmer. It can help to remind them that when they are in the room they get your rarely interrupted focus. I'm often working in a clients home so I will not be checking my phone till I am at least out of their home and everyone in my life knows when I'm in the room with them, emergencies aside I am truely in the room with them, not on my phone. I find people value transparency and consistantcy over instant responses.
@Paul Moore Funny thing, your comment posted 4 hours ago and now it's 11 am here (Sequim) Pretty soon it'll be 5 o'clock there.. and... it's always nearly 5 o'clock somewhere! 😇
If and when this does actually start a movement in the near future, you will have actually literally changed the world for the better for a small portion of humanity. Do I applaud? Do I... try to join your cult? Do I spread the news? I don't know what to do now this is all new to me.
No one is 100% useless, they can always serve as a bad example.
You're welcome....?
I've never felt more validated in my terrible decision making
Hey! I just thought of a use for Vladimir Putin!
Well... shit. I have found my actual purpose in life. From a comment on UA-cam. Awesome. Better late than never, I guess.
Here in Beantown those words would be perfect for a “bumpha sticha” 🥴
Mirror Julie is the best Drunk, Cool Aunt, she should definitely be an advice columnist or a therapist.
YES. There should be in Instagram channel of just “Ask Mirror Julie.” That would be GOLD!
I was just thinking the same.
I think she'd get fired for slapping someone sooner or later (likely sooner)
Idk why but I’d love if mirror Julie did movie reviews 😂😂😂😂😂😂
It would be like Strong Bad Emails but with less 80s videogame references and more relevant fashion advice.
"You think I'm a good woman?"
"No, I was speaking in hypotheticals"
You walk into it everytime man :D
Gotcha! 😂
See? Drunk Julie wasn't being honest at all.
She is a mean drunk that mirror girl!
Breaking dating "rules" is like, one of the most efficient ways to find a better match for yourself. I'm all about filtering people out - filter out those people who would mind or be weirded out or be tiny widdle baby scawed of communication from you (I laughed for 900 years at Mirror Julie mocking the scared little grown adult man).
How dare you assume I don't have a mirror fairy godmother! (She says hi)
Agreed!!
I would but as a male I think it comes off a little creepy
Breaking dating rules was how I met my husband. I ordered garlic scallops on our first date. When he heard I liked the musical Evita he bought me the Evita CD in Korean on our second date. And on the third date we talked about our fathers issues which included agoraphobia and a rage alcoholic among other’s. We celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary this week.
Omg, exactly. I was really blunt on my first date and now I'm married.
"I need to see which one speaks to me." - Me in every character creation screen in every game for way longer than I should be in character creation.
lol
SCHOOL! The answer is I don't go! Why go? I am famous. I am famous. I have more fans than fingers multiplied with toes multiplied with teeth multiplied with ears. I am famous. I am famous. SCHOOL? No, thanks. UA-cam FAME? Yes. Good day, dear vor
@@AxxLAfriku get lost troll
Me too!
It is super important whether my character has spiderweb designs on their eyes in a first person game, dammit!
"You should write dollar store greeting cards. Because you just have such a nack." OMG I so using this line!
was going to be my comment, that line killed me!.
I should come out with pathetic greeting cards as merch hah!
@@julienolke what?? That's actually an excellent idea
Mirror Julie is Savage.
@@julienolke Love it! Presuming you’ll guarantee shipment to Europe, I’m all in!
(Granted that the shipping costs won’t force me to sell one of my children in order to afford them……)
I’ll double, triple text idgaf. I’m getting my point across and they’re gonna have to deal with my inefficient communication style
Yup!
love this!
I usually double text because my first text has so many spelling errors lmao
I've ALWAYS been honest and Do Unto Others.
There has not ONCE been a time that worked out for me.
I LOST the girls of my dreams.....EVERY SINGLE TIME.....by merely treating them the way I want to be treated.
(EX: the rare times I hook up with a gal, they are super-human, cuz so am i.... but if I'm totally honest.....they know THEY CAN TAKE ME FOR GRANTED. I lost one of the greatest gals of all time.... [ex: we started making genius music together at 2 am outdoors under the summer stars in NYC an hour after meeting!!] ....and ALL I had to do was PLAY THE GAME and make her jealous blah blah blah.)
same
"I know for a fact none of you have a mirror fairy godmother."
And we are all the worse for it. Thank you, Julie, for sharing yours.
Do you mean mine is not real? 🤪
When I met my bf I wasn't expecting a relationship so I was just completely myself and honest. We enjoyed each other's company so we stuck around. We never played games. Being myself from the beginning has relieved so much pressure to keep myself seeming perfect. Closing in on 6 years and still going strong ❤️
"I said what I said" - MAN! Gotta love Mirror Julie's resolve on her non-specific, unhelpful comment. I need to remember to say that the next time I make zero contribution to a conversation, yet want to sound insightful.
I said what I said and mean what I mean since it is what it is
YAY LET’S TURN THE TIDE COLLECTIVELY!! Lol, I feel so empowered
😬 just be yourself
Guys am i right?
------
Though Jbp thinks absolute cander is best , especially in the long run.
I can see his point
📉 condim sales
It's interesting how women need to feel a part of a group to be empowered. This need seems to persist in the face of endless cope of women psyching themselves up as "strong and independent"
"Just as I thought, it looks like shit. It goes with your toilet paper personality." Haha, Mirror Julie spouts ALL the facts once again! 😂
Did she say "damp" toilet paper personality? Did I really hear that or am I just projecting again?? XD
@@Duryism Yes, I just rewatched, and she DID say "damp".
For that one line, a noticed she didn't use the sparkly nail polish brand by that other great Canadian youtuber Bentendo (or his girlfriend). But that wouldn't be worth the denigrating remarks.
This. All this.
If we can circle to consent, and remind ourselves that enthusiastic consent is the gold standard, and the hottest thing two people can share- if someone isn't genuinely interested in being with you, and you don't feel the same, that should be a turn off.
I'm an adult woman, out of respect for myself, I don't waste my time with people who want to waste mine.
If you think of any of the reasons why someone would string you along, none of them are qualities that contribute to a healthy long term relationship.
Immaturity, not wanting commitment, disinterest, a lack of respect for other people's time and feelings, viewing sex/relationships as a game, inability to be emotionally available, etc. Why would I want that?
Not to say that it's irredeemable, I'm just not looking for a project. I want someone on the same page as me now, not maybe on the same page as me 5 years from now.
👏 👏 👏 👏
Hell yeah!
@@Kelly_Ben Hey, I thought those were wierd hairy potatoes but now I see that they are hands 👏 clapping (duh!) and I whole heartedly agree with you. Cheers to Victoria in knowing what she wants and not wanting to settle for anything less! Though life happens and seldom is what we thought it ought to be... wet toilet paper and all. 🗽 Heres to Julie (both of you) and Victoria and Kelly and everyone reading these comments and especially those responding. Thank you all for starting me off on a wonderful day inspite of all the horrible things that could happen to anyone of us, at least we started well. Thanks also to the sponsor "Better Help" for making this all possible! 👌 😎 😍 ✌
I agree with your sentiment but less so in your word choice. I wouldn't say consent per say because consent is something different i would say instead that you are looking for stronger self respect and self discipline. If everyone valued themselves more they would intrinsically see that others need to be valued as well. The sexiest thing you can be is yourself. Own it 100% and completely and as Julie has said in another video be the best Teriyaki wings you can be and someone will appreciate you for being Teriyaki.
So you are looking for a person that will immediately trust you without finding out if you are the thing they hope you are? The reason people "play a game" is because they figure sht out before committing. Just because you know what you are doesn't mean the other side knows and it could take time to understand what you are and then decide if they like it or not. And if you are dishonest, yeah, it could take 5 years. It takes time to know a person. I agree that certain social norms are annoying and unnecessary but in general idea of the game is very valid. It could simplified but it would be hard to get thousands of years of courtship to fall into your ideal version of the process.
It takes time to know a person for real. Just because they might seem right at first, doesn't mean they are right after you peel the mask (if they are wearing any). Reality is what it is. And as inconvenient as it might appear, when you rationally look at it, it makes sense.
Oh damn: Authentic, transparent intentions, and communication/comprehension compatibility. a new precedent and I'm with you!
An incredible video. Goodness, I hate the unwritten rules of texting that have developed over the last decade or so. I'm fortunate to be in a happy, committed relationship, but I see SO many of my friends struggling because they can't figure out how to text the people they care about or want to care about because they're overthinking EVERYTHING. It's sad.
It is sad indeed. I think that one of the things that would scare me the most if I ended up single again would definitely be having to go back to this unbearable set of unwritten dating rules. For ex. you have to wait a bit to reply in order not to seem eager, but you don't want to reply too late because then you'll look uninterested, or maybe you want to ask the other person about their day but then you might sound oppressive... and then people wonder why their romantic partners aren't sincere!
Hahaha - I never manged to figure out why I'd want to care more about any particular person or persons than anyone else. Seems kind of discriminatory at best & bigotry at worst. so I give some people the time of day but not others? Why? Are some people more deserving of it? How does it work? What are the rules? I got so confused about it I gave up trying to figure it out long ago. So needless to say I don't have any texting problems to even have to deal with.
@@doktormcnasty you're doing a great job of embodying the whole "just be yourself" message from the video. Love it!
To be fair all those rules existed with telephone and e-mail 20 years ago 😅 (and yeah those ‘rules’ suck and honest open communication is where it’s at!)
There are unwritten rules in every social situation. Nothing wrong with texting back immediately if you're able to, if anything it shows some confidence that you're not too bound by the rules. But it would be strange if you're always able to do so - doesn't life just naturally get in the way sometimes?
It's kind of a prisoner's dilemma type of situation:
A. we all play the game and we're worse off;
B. nobody plays the game and we're all spared a ton of stress;
C. Only some people choose to play it and others don't. So in this scenario those who choose to play will have an edge over those who don't. Then people who don't play will see that they are vulnerable and decide to start playing. And then we're back at situation A.
I don't agree with this statement ;) we forget that it's not actually about the other person at all. The other person starts playing when you were vulnerable? Ok, that's alright. I say thank you and bye. There is no need to start playing the games too. I had people come back a few months later after they realised that I will clearly not contact them again of they are not meeting my standards and then trying super hard to meet me where I am. I don't believe it's the game player's fault. It's our fault if we believe we have to match something that is not healthy for us. If all women agree to non committal sex than there is no need to committ and be monogamous is there? You want to be with me, show me. You don't want to be with me? No problem. You are not the only one to ask.
@@johannamonapa5368 if you can leave a person just like that without a second thought, then are you really being vulnerable? Are you vulnerable at all?
If I was dating you, just knowing you could do that would make me act more careful and not open up too much for fear of getting my heart broken :p
The best way is to just be honest and up front about what you want.
@@johannamonapa5368 "If all women agree to non committal sex than there is no need to committ and be monogamous is there?"
Wait what? That is such a bleak and misanthropic thing to say.
People aren't sex toys and relationships aren't sex contracts. You want to be with me because you want to be with me? Perfect, let's do it. You want to be with me because I can provide regular sex? Fuck right off.
That right there is the best way to establish terrible relationships that hurt everyone involved
@@Dracomandriuthus Yes but if the other person is playing then you are just hitting your head on the wall. Recently had this experience and I feel so sad that why the world can't be mature. It's not in my nature to play games even if I tried I would fail that makes me even more sad!
I feel like I will be single for the rest of my life.
"Do I have to come up with everything?" I don't know why, but the subtle lines like this really tickle me. Thank you so much for all the laughs!!!
Yeah, good thing she has mirror Julie or she would never be able to write anything funny. If only Julie could be as funny as...
... Julie?
Same. That line made me lol!
I like that Mirror Julie just wants to hang out sometimes.
I never followed the dating rules and my friends always yelled at me for it. Why should I wait to find out if we are compatible on the big stuff like kids, politics, finances, etc until later. If we don't align in the beginning it's just going to lead to heartbreak later. I say always ask the questions you need answers too and be upfront, I would rather hurt when it doesn't work out after a few dates verses a few months or years.
Yup - first things first
if we are compatible on the big stuff like kids, politics, finances --- none of that, except perhaps kids, is actually important
Literally this morning waiting for the reply from my text last night and was telling myself I can't double text. You just can't!
Hey, IDK what that was and now I know the term for a unwritten rule I have often been careful to follow.
Mirror smashed it! No bad luck for Julie's just brutal honesty. You made my beige day better 🙂
Indeed, Mirror Julie is the best therapist!
Damn, I actually needed this. Been circling around a weird maybe-relationship with someone and this has encouraged me to talk to them about stuff. Thanks Mirror!Julie
How did it go?
@@rosiemarshall204 yeah, not good lmao
@@Lexsaysss at least now you know, probably saved yourself some time
"I said what I said".
"Write that down that's important".
I needed this today. Thanks Julie.
Mirror Julie gives the best advice
You're either good at acting, because the lines often come very natural and have realistic pacing; or you're not acting at all because Mirror Julie is real and she's coming for us all
Now I have to cover my mirrors
- do you want a drink?
- it is 11 am
- so?
- no
- that's all you had to say
you just killed it Julie! so much packed into three seconds
All the people who ever tried the honest approach are feeling sorry for everyone else who will never understand how incredibly hilarious the whole discussion is.
Honesty is never the best policy in actually every area of life. We even lie to ourselves often. I'd say it's more about transparency & ofc types that one actually can vibe with.
@@mopnem is "transparency" not just another word for "honesty" in this context
@@mopnem It is if you want people to be honest with you.
@@thelordoftime803 someone whos never been asked the how do I look? Lol for ex.
@@mopnem It's sad that you think you have to lie as a compliment, real sad. Lol for all your dishonest relationships.
Some guys appreciate genuine, direct and open communication without games, where people can express their real feelings and needs. Screw the rules. Find someone else that doesn't want them.
And where can one find these men, pray tell??!!
Usually skipped over when you weren't ready, and now in a happy relationship lol
@@MsZephyra Like, practically all of them?
@@MsZephyra If you are upfront without games it'll be clear if the man you are on a date with they'll make it clear for you. This will thin some people out but genuine men looking for what you are will stay.
@@MsZephyra I totally agree with what Zebedee said, but I would also add, men that are willing to grow and communicate straight from the start is a good sign.
And appropriately to the sponsor of the video, guys that have been in counseling or are open to it helps too. A lot of it though is a maturity thing and a learned thing. People of all genders tend more toward healthy communication and away from playing games the older they get, but some people that learned healthier communication growing up (or through therapy or past relationships) tend to get on track with it sooner and younger.
As a therapist (on BH & in private practice), this is one of the best sponsorship videos that I have seen. Good job!
The moment I put my foot down and was up front with every guy I considered dating I found my husband. It took approximately 1 year from the day I decided I was going to tell guys that I am looking for a long term relationship which will lead to marriage and children. I asked the hard questions on the first date: do you want kids? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Are you ready for a serious relationship? What are you looking for in a wife? These questions meant that all the waste of time scared of commitment f***boys never asked for a second date. I've been happily married 7 years this year to an amazing man who has his head screwed on right and will one day make an amazing Dad (also he is funny and good looking). We have built a life together and are now starting IVF.
Oh, good luck! Sounds like you will be amazing parents.
1000% I did something similar when I was feeling ready. It's funny what will happen once you stop putting up with bs. I made a list of non negotiable qualities and stuck with it, it was a matter of months before I met my now husband in 2009. We have two beautiful kids, wouldn't have done anything different. Imagine if most women(and men) would stop putting up with the "peter pan's" of this world, we'd probably have more cohesion and less loneliness in society. Cept the f*** boys, they'd be SOL
Best of luck with IVF! Parenthood is not for the faint of heart but it is the most rewarding blessing
Good for you. Back when I was on the market for nothing more than concurrent casual flings, I always respected women who were looking for a serious monogamous relationship. A couple of the ones I met from that time are still good friends of mine, that never would've happened if we hadn't been honest with each other
IVF? I've heard that the old fashioned method is way more fun. I don't know what your situation is, but I do think that people today especially women wait too long until trying to settle down and not realizing that it is this very behavior that encourages the plethora of f***boys. If women continue to serial date in their most fertile years then they should not be surprised if the men that they meet also adapt to meet them in that space. Many women fail to realize that by serial dating that they are actually decreasing their options because they are becoming older, less fertile and therefore less desirable.
@@robindhood9125 It's amazing what vile stuff some people can just say with no self-awareness at all
one of the few creators that i watch every single ad for
Thankyou for all your efforts. They have helped making the last 2 years more bearable.
Oooo, this one felt next level to me! LOVE you going meta and exploring all the possible ways to use your fabulous platform, Julie. Thank you for the understated call out to us all to be more honest and authentic. I so appreciate you and your layered creativity.
Always happy when in the first seconds you see it's mirror Julie!
I love these. Full of so much true and honest advice. Julie Nolke and mirror Julie are my "Better Help" adviser's 😁
I was on a first date and my date asked me what I was looking for. I said “A second date”. I asked her what she was looking for and she said “A husband and three children.”
We’ve been married now for almost 14 years.
Yes, she broke the rules, but I liked the fact that I knew what she was looking for and didn’t play games.
Nice!
YES! As a man, I wish all women were as upfront as your wife was, Tom. It would save them (and us) so much wasted time.
That level of honesty is a gold mine. I made it clear on every first date that I never wanted children. Second dates were pretty rare for me.
how many children do you hsve?
@@theyarennn I have no children.
When it's the right person, it's not a game, break the rules.
It is funny that being honest to someone is considered as breaking the rules. We are living in strange times.
I love mirror Julie! ❤️
Also loved the “closer!” gag! 😊
These are always sooo great Julie. Great work.
Except now every time I walk by my mirror I low key half wish my reflection would roast me 🤣
Keep em common!
Therapy with a sarcastic twist, and tons of nail colors to choose from... Best way to start a late morning!
Brilliant work as always.
Mirror Julie is speaking some deep truths in this one. Always a joy to hear her words of wisdom.
I love how the Julie that makes the most sense is the drunk one. That, and "I said what I said. "
Wonderful!! Honesty is so hard to get from from people. Being your genuine self at all times is the only way to have lasting relationships. Well done!
“I said what I said” broke me omg
By far and away the best actor playing a ‘drunk’
- How to tell him what I want?
- Just tell him what you want.
Honesty makes life easier folks.
I love Mirror-Julie. Every time I see her I know I'm in for a great laugh.
Wow, a Will Smith/Chris Rock slap reference. That makes it official, that slap is everywhere.
You are so freaking talented
Sounds like a great idea. Hope you find that social platform that you can monetize.
You’re so good! I just texted a guy I met on a dating app to tell him that I wasn’t interested in morning forward. Thanks Julie!! ♥️
I’d totally watch “A day in the life of Drunk Julie”. Love her character.
Agreed.
Her name is Mirror Julie.
Or did you mean you want to see regular Julie drunk more often? Your comment lacks clarity.
@@chrismullaney9042 mirror Julie drunk.
Just looking for deep meaning in the switch from martini to wine glass.... and, once again thanking you for the hilarious spot-on observations eloquently portrayed!
Hey Julie. Hope you read this, for a man who has been single for 10 years, it is so tiring being told that I am a good man, but I need to play the game. You're videos are hilarious, but this one is just too real. I'm trying to lead the charge in just being an honest person with people I'm attracted to, but always end up second guessing what I "have to say/do" to fit in the rules of the game. In turn this means I end up second guessing myself.
Thank you for using this platform to make bitter pills much funnier to swallow. :)
Brother. Don't give in. It's better to dwell alone in the wilderness than with a woman who plays the game.
Julie you speak so much truth through your sketches. Love your channel!
I'd love to see a Mirror Julie line of inspirational posters.
I hate how accurate your videos are, it just get me all the time (it vould be sad sometimes)
Ah dating with unlimited texts. I remember dating when texts/minutes were limited and apps weren't a thing yet.
Sometimes it is why I perfer text to calling when I need to tell someone something.
It forces you to be concise and doesn't allow you to waffle
Mirror Julie is the best, my mirror self just stares at me and does whatever I do.
Mirror Julie is the sloppy drunk best friend we all need.
I love drunk Julies upfront game about her motives, "so we could get a lil' bit more wine" LMAO!
Omg this is so true!! So many rules because of all the commitment issues everybody seems to have when they are 30+ 🙄🙄 you're right, let's just be honest and say what we need. And the people that can't handle it, can leave :)
Such a good sketch . So good. Brilliant !
Useless?? No way. You "Double Julies" are jewels.
lol, she's getting real good with the dual personas with the mirror skits.
I've always found these games ridiculous. Even as a child watching Aquamarine, I thought those rules were silly, especially because not everyone's following the same rulebook or think the same way. If I'm on my phone and see a text, I'll text back. If I am doing something, I won't. If I'm unsure of something, I'll blatantly ask and not skirt around it. It's just as simple as that.
I'm always excited when I see Mirror Julie show up
Hello 👋 how are you doing??
It's really fantastic job 💖💖💖
Just awesome. Thanks for the bright start to my day ☺️
I'm feeling it! Honestly, Julie, you are my FAVORITE dollar store greeting card writer! (As well as comedy writer, actor, poetess, etc.) And, Mirror Julie, you are the new Gloria Steinem! LOVE YOU!
Mirror Julie might just be my spirit animal. Or whatever. Defn. my inspiration.
Totally agree with the sentiment, told my girlfriend at the time how I felt and what I wanted in a relationship, she said the same and a month into the relationship I proposed. Celebrated 26 year anniversary last July. Life is too short to not say how you feel and what you want.
Thank you for having made me laugh - doing this since long, it is simple and confident as not afraid of anything, last but not least "honest" 🙂
What would happen if drunk mirror Julie met stoned Julie?
I'm reasonably certain that Mirror Julie deserves an Oscar. Or, better yet, a reward that actually matters.
As much as I appreciate Julie's performance in these, I've never been able to convince myself that "mirror" Julie is actually in a mirror. She looks like she's in an en suite bathroom. I cannot see it any differently no matter how I try.
When George Lucas buys the franchise the visuals should improve.
Well, you're totally wrong. I don't know which is more amazing here; that the camera overcomes limitations of filming through a hard, shiny surface; or, that Julie and Mirror Julie manage to express different movements and expressions, simultaneously. Every time I try to film a conversation with my mirror self, he just sits there and does what I do. So frustrating, it's like he WANTS me to fail.
Julie, you're amazing. I love the mental health aspect of this and the support you are offering to us. Thank you!
I love when Better help sponsers the vid i never skip it i always watch it till the end , gottaa increase the retention graph of the sponsers and hope you guys do the same if someone is reading this .
but I've mostly seen bad reviews of betterhelp outside of ads... idk I mean, if anyone has opinions I'd be interested to hear...
@@laurenpinschannels I've heard it's terrible for the therapists. The pay is bad, the hours are unpredictable / longer and the clients think they have access to their therapist 24/7
@@laurenpinschannels IDK either, but at least it's called "Better Help" and not "Best Help" or "Perfect Better Help" ...?? It seems more socially responsible than say Ivory Soap and a ton of others I can think of... 🌙
Hmm? Why does Better Help seem to be her sponsor a lot, hmmm? What about her videos fits?
@@laurenpinschannels oh really i haven't seen it as a brown people i can say our nation doesn't believe in therapy 😂
Yes but I do believe everyone should try therapy!
Well i guess you can't replace therapy as in person with digital therapy and also expect good pay it sucks that every system has it's flaws but hopefully they improve their Docs pay and improve user interface. Do you guys know better help always sponsers Anthony Paddia , they are a regular in his channel. , Any opinion on that guys ?
Honestly... PERFECT!!
AND HILARIOUS!
Laughing about the "thats betterhelp - H - E - L - P /Nolke" Well played. I am sure that that is not the word most people stumble over :)
Oh, I so wanted to see Julie slap Mirror Julie ... How does one slap their mirror image?
Indeed, I'd love to see Julie try to slap Mirror Julie! 😂
All of them say that, so it’s not mistaken for health. As in mental health.
One slaps their mirror image by slapping themselves while looking in a mirror. It would be hilarious to see Julie slap herself and then see Mirror Julie involuntarily slap herself with a look of shock and surprise. Imagine the power this would give Julie over Mirror Julie...
Those Mirror sketches are the best! Don't know why, but I love them, thanks a lot!! Such a great channel for such a great actress.
As a guy i like getting multiple texts. But like 3 is the limit, with the exception of emergencies or like hours apart
I like it when someone is clearly very passionate and often that comes across in double texts
Yeah, as a guy it means she's at least interested enough to use you for validation. As a girl, you just come off as desperate
Damn Julie, you keep stepping it up. Wonderful
🤣🤣 ua-cam.com/video/VkZv-p9HNl4/v-deo.html 🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣👆 havenMs
But WHY do people play the game? 🤔 Such a good lesson and a great sketch!
They think it works. It does, if the goal is to get to an orgasm or two and move on with another story to compare with the other empty souls you are competing against. If tell yourself you aren't trying to make a connection, there is no risk of being found wanting. Rejection isn't personal in the game, it doesn't mean anything but that you didn't play the game well enough, or the dice just didn't go your way. Win some, lose some, play again tomorrow.
I suspect the goal is to filter out predatory douche-nozzles.
@@jamesphillips2285 if that was the goal then there wouldn't be thousands of croc tears videos complaining about men.
I love Julie from mirror. She's such a mood
I always think that as long as you're open and genuine, there's not much to go on that would be scary, with exceptions.
Am I crazy? Like if someone sent me a text at 3 am, I would be like "ok, that's weird, but cool". And I would ask them something like "Hey, you do know that sending a text at 3 am is not the common practice, right? What happened?" and I would expect them to say something mildly logical, like "I have a night shift this week" or "I had a bad dream".
The pretension games are so dumb. People lack self awareness and respect but then they expect you to follow social rules. Pwetensious liwel babies.
The jokes in this video slapped! Great work Julie!
This really hit me right where it needed to. Thanks Julie
It’s so funny in the comments seeing all these girls be like “yassss queeeen😍🥰😍🥰 let’s turn the tide together!!!!!” And the next day they’re going to probably leave multiple people who are interested in them on read or lie to them because they’re too afraid to say no I don’t want this
💯
There'd be no game if women required commitment up front. The ship has sailed on that front tho.
YES!!! This was fucking fantastic.
100% yes to everything drunk mirror julie said.
Damp toilet paper personality = most personalities post pandemic🙄🙄🙄 low key the best analogy/ real description to-date. 💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥 thanks Julie!!!
I had a damp toilet paper personality for years before any pandemic. I just didn't have a name for it until now.
this came at the right time... Julie does humor therapy! thank goodness! keep elevating the culture!
Ya, There wouldn't be a game without the players. Been saying it for years. People need to stop being sheep and just be themselves. Yes If you're interested in someone let them see you are. what's so wrong with that? What women want needs to be as clear as possible. Once this becomes the norm then ass holes will have an easier time processing that no is no , not try harder. I can go on SUCH A RANT on that topic maybe I should start making videos. . .
Women can't be clear about what they want because they don't know what they want.
We see clearly what women want and what they say they want tho
Your videos are tearing me apart, but probably in a good way. This one in particular is really on point for me.
Yass. It took me 20 years of relationships to figure this out, but now it's so refreshing and easy. (It's also easier in my late thirties/ early 40s because the majority of guys are a heck of a lot more mature, and know what they want. ) Also, double texting being a no- no goes with the 24/7 availability crap of today. I've got a busy life to live, and if I don't get back to someone in more than 4 hours and they need a response, PLEASE double text me. I probably haven't seen the first one, or was in a situation where I couldn't/ shouldn't text right back, and now I've spaced it.
I'm in my early 40s and what little effort I've spent dating (hasn't been my focus) in recent years, I honestly have seen the same playboy tendencies no matter the age...there are so many "options" and even if they see how great the woman right in front of them is, they always want to keep it moving...argh
Yeah I hate how some people want a text back within such a short window. Some of us don't check our phones for a few hours at a time. I'm early 30s but always thought of texts as less important, get to it when your free. You need me now, just call me.
@@MarylandFarmer. It can help to remind them that when they are in the room they get your rarely interrupted focus. I'm often working in a clients home so I will not be checking my phone till I am at least out of their home and everyone in my life knows when I'm in the room with them, emergencies aside I am truely in the room with them, not on my phone. I find people value transparency and consistantcy over instant responses.
Guys know what they wanted in their 20s. Not the guys you wanted in your 20s tho
@@MarylandFarmer. That's my take too!
Drunk mirror Julie has a really good quote there! I'm going through that situation myself, so that really helped to hear it out loud. Thank you!
"it's 11am" we all know real julie is a day drinker, and there's nothing wrong with that
I'm drunk at 15:50, so not at all. Day drinking is the best!
@Paul Moore Funny thing, your comment posted 4 hours ago and now it's 11 am here (Sequim) Pretty soon it'll be 5 o'clock there.. and... it's always nearly 5 o'clock somewhere! 😇
Mirror Julie rocks! Everyone needs a Mirror Julie 🙂
If and when this does actually start a movement in the near future, you will have actually literally changed the world for the better for a small portion of humanity.
Do I applaud? Do I... try to join your cult? Do I spread the news? I don't know what to do now this is all new to me.
We had the same thought process 😂
You subscribe and become a patreion member I guess 😅
I absolutely LOVE drunk Julie.