The Truth About Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go With Jay Shetty | Mel Robbins Podcast
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- Опубліковано 26 тра 2024
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In this episode, you and I are getting a #masterclass on the topic of #love.
And it’s not what you think. This is not an episode about #relationships - it is an episode about YOUR relationship to love and how you can let more love into your life.
If you have felt alone or feel like your relationships are on #autopilot - this episode is a real gift.
@jayshetty2758 is someone I really love. He’s the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Like a Monk, and his latest book is Love Rules. His sage counsel on life is sought after by celebrities, world leaders, professional athletes and the most successful artists in the world.
Watch this episode as a family. Watch with your friends. Watch with your partner.. Watch by yourself. Love is what we need. And hearing two dear friends go deep on the topic will make your heart swell.
Xo Mel
In this episode, you’ll learn:
00:00 Intro
10:44 Hear Jay’s 3-part definition of love I’d never heard that is so spot on.
11:46 According to research, this is how many hours you need to spend to make a casual friend, a good friend, and a great friend.
14:39 Are you doing this with your partner? Jay says that’s not love.
16:36 Okay wow, here’s where I realize I’m not doing something for my husband, Chris, that I should be doing.
19:11 If your relationship is new, be careful you don’t do this.
21:29 Why do we chase relationships in order to feel worthy?
22:44 Rule #1 for finding love.
27:35 What research shows will happen if you enter a relationship simply because you’re afraid of being alone.
26:57 Hear Jay in a rare moment where he talks about his childhood trauma.
35:24 Here’s why you keep dating the same kind of person over and over.
37:08 One simple exercise you can do today to start building a healthy relationship.
37:48 Jay leads us through a powerful meditation.
44:20 There are four phases of love: hear them unpacked and explained.
47:37 Dating someone new? Then you need to know about both the “halo effect” and the “context effect.”
50:36 Jay’s best piece of advice if you want that new relationship to last.
54:19 Here’s Jay’s Rule #4 of love and why it’s my favorite.
59:04 Is someone caring for you or controlling you? Here’s how to tell.
1:03:50 What you might be doing in your relationship that’s hurting it.
1:05:26 Here’s what I disagreed with Jay about.
1:06:49 What is the purpose of love in your life? Jay answers.
Listen to the #podcast episode "A Toolkit for Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go" - link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=e...
More about #JayShetty:
- Jay's new book, 8 Rules of Love is now available for purchase at 8rulesoflove.com/ and wherever books are sold.
- To catch Jay on his first ever global tour 'Love Rules', go to jayshettytour.com/ for tickets.
- Follow Jay on Instagram (I personally never miss a post.): / jayshetty
- Jay’s website: jayshetty.me/
- Follow Jay on Facebook: / jayshettyiw
- Follow Jay on TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@jayshetty?lan...
- Get Jay’s first book, the #1 New York Times bestseller Think Like a Monk: www.amazon.com/gp/product/198...
- Subscribe to Jay’s podcast On Purpose: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
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Jay Shetty @JayShettyPodcast dropped some incredible insights on LOVE! If you want to hear more from guests like Jay on The Mel Robbins Podcast, give this video a like!
I think it's really cool what he's saying about Respecting your partner's values, and focusing on their goals. I like that he's not saying that your goals and values have to align with theirs, but that respecting and supporting are enough.
0000000😅😅
I think he/Jay does (at the beginning of when he actually defines what he defines love to b... like them respect them n "align w their values"... think deeply and realistically that if u don't align in (at least your most important values) values as a couple then u are bound to have frequent issues that are not "compromise" points (do u compromise on your basic n most closely held values?) for either but "give up" points which will build deep resentment. .. maybe I don't see "values" as u define them?
"share" their list important values... is how Jay clarifies about values (a mutual respect n sharing of values that garners respect n support in the values y'all share ... it's complex to b clear.
but this is a great /better definition of adult love than I can recall. ever.
😊@@meghanegger2376
@@meghanegger2376,
10:44 - Love is when I:
1. like someone's personality
2. respect their values
3. am committed to help them with their goals
Thank you for time stamping that!!
😼👏 i agree!!!❤😊
ThANK YOU !!😊😮
Yes
LIFE CHANGING interview…self development is a long marathon not a sprint…at 70 yrs strong, this era is the most enlightening with podcasts like this.
Meeting my 13 year old self reduced me to tears. Her wisdom was trust yourself. I may revisit her soon. ❤
The wisdom my 13 year old self gave me was to be true to myself above anything else. I plan on revisting him as often as needed.
@@adb2490 great we can tap into ourselves
At first I saw her, and gave her a hug...I felt like a mother figure. And soon the roles completely changed and her pure heart and faith and the way she hugged me feel like I was in the arms of a sage mother... her wisedom came simply from being herself
Wow I cried too. 😢
Same! The moment my 13yr old self and I hugged, I just burst out crying. I told her that she's so loved and what she said back to me was "I believe in you" and that made me cry more.
52 minutes in and I have to say this is THE best conversation on love (in all forms) I’ve ever listened to. My hat off to Mel stopping and asking to dissect certain topics and being so specific and detailed. It allowed Jay to truly share his wisdom in ways I’ve haven’t heard before.
Omg Mel! I did the meditation and am sobbing at the lack of love I realized I had for my 13 year old self. How lonely I was then? I wrapped my arms around her in a motherly way to hold myself like I do to all my children I adopted during my years. It felt amazing. I knew today's episode was going to be special when I heard Jay Shetty. I had no idea how impactful it would be. Thank you for all you do. We all love you too.
♥️
The same thing happened to me as well!!😢❤🥰😁🤯
There is no episode that doesn’t make me cry. I am such a damaged person but gahd Mel’s podcast is like an instrumental from the heavens 😭😭😭 i love you Mel, thank you for being who you are, you are amazing
Favorite moments:
27:52 - Being scared of being alone and walking into a relationship.
58:45 - Ownership vs. a relationship.
1:03:08 - Getting them to the next step in their journey vs. getting them to the next step in YOUR journey.
1:08:30 - Loving someone so much that they learn to love themselves.
Amazing interview!
When we find our person, they should make us feel like superheroes, which will then drive us to scale mountains & wrangle stars, and share that abundance of love w everyone we meet
Love truly makes the world go round 💞
Plz, don’t settle… 🤗 🥰
❤️🙏🏼❤️
This man is making me review my entire self.... you're a true mentor Jay, wise beyond your age.
this episode is simply unbelievable. jay describes life & love in an absolutely profound way. wow wow wow wow wow i’m blown away
Goosebumps
Jay’s final words brought tears to my eyes
Couldn't be more profound! He has such a comfortable way about him, it's so easy to understand what he means. Great connection between you two. Thank you for having him!
Most con artists and narcissists are very talented at “calming” their victims…. ua-cam.com/video/SLXOcyxCl6U/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/Nfu4j7EIGqs/v-deo.html
AMAZING!! I'm in my 50s, and have been out of a long-term relationship, and from the dating scene, for quite some time, by choice (or so it's become that story I've been telling myself), I had been on that journey, or quest, at times, going through all the points mentioned with all the highs and lows and pitfalls, which of course is a natural learning experience of life and love, but at some point decided it was much safer and healthier emotionally to adjust shift my focus away from that. I was doing okay with solitude, although loneliness is always lurking. The last few years (thanks to You Tube) I have been immersing myself more into inner self growth and discovery. This podcast has been such an eyeopener!! It has given me the clarity of what I thought I knew and have learned to this point, but more importantly, has enlightened me to the things I didn't. I feel much more secure about allowing myself to open up to the experience again , when that time comes. Much love and thanks to you both! 💖
Same here, @tigre7739. I'm even older. Good luck to you on that journey! It's both rough and wonderful...
Thank you for sharing your comment I connect with your experience I am also in my 50s, and have exploring and enjoying my solitude and peace. I am making changes with work ( work from home) to enjoy more freedom. I am also moving to be closer to aging parents. And like you a agreed wholeheartedly this podcast is eye-opening in many ways. Great post , I am confident you will have in your life what you desire.
Same here. Your comment is encouraging. I felt something was wrong with me.
Yeah love is in the air waiting for you ! The beautiful thing you will have a balance!
Yeah go for it! The divine working for you!
@@CoachLesley nothing wrong with you! You are complete & blessed!
“If you want something from someone else, first give it to yourself”. Love this. Nobody takes care of #1, like #1!
An Excellent Podcast and interview! I walk away with the quote I once heard! I am NO LONGER .. Hussling for Love!!! It is toxic and unhealthy! Thanks for being such a bright light in our every day and week Mel! 🎉❤😊
❤❤ ❤ bless you
This has to be the best podcast episode I have ever listened to/watched. I shared it with all my loved ones. Amazing!
I'm excited to listen today, thanks for the WARM COMMENT!!!
@@taneeshashaw7347 Hope it serves you 🙏
Bravo! I’m a novice Taoist so I hear him loud and clear. I’ve changed so much with all relationships because of its teachings. I’m now in a loving relationship with someone who was my friend first for 3 years before moving to the next step. We are still friends first with some extras 😜. Love this podcast!
Come on, like, this is gold! ✨ Even though he has given a lot of interviews, each one has its magic. And Mel does a great job! Amazing 🤩
Jay and my husband are both from India. They both have the same beautiful brown eyes, black hair, body heighth, weight, personailty, good heart...etc. When i see Jay on a pod cast it always makes me think of my precious beloved husband. so God has blessed me 100% very much. And I know that i am a very blessed lucky lady to live on this earth at this moment in time...❤❤🎉🎉
I seen a quote a few years back and it was so powerful, I believe this is what he is saying!
“Don’t commit to me, commit to evolving, and I will meet you there”
When he started talking about the two words for loneliness but only one is mentioned in the English language. I knew he was talking about Solitude because I live in a life of solitude and it was only in the last few years that I really started to embrace that and it's a wonderful feeling I'm not lonely at all. I have been asked and I have also been told I'm broken or if I think I'm broken have I given up or why did I give up there's somebody out there for me and honestly I'm happy. I'm okay in my solitude it's peaceful and I indulge in it. So many people say that human beings are not meant to live their lives alone. Not all human beings are meant for communal living not all that are alone are lonely or sad or missing an aspect of their life
This CD has three separate relaxation/meditation sessions on it ua-cam.com/users/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq guided by a very pleasant and direct male voice. Unlike so many other products of its type, this CD does not have bad synthesizer music, does not feature a phony or affected style of narration, and does not make any bogus claims to be subliminal or to re-train the brain or any of that balderdash. What you get is 1. a guided meditation for getting into a pleasantly relaxed state of body awareness while taking a stroll (superb for those easing back into a fitness routine slowly after an illness or injury) 2. A nice long breath-awareness relaxation session that if followed diligently can put you into very deep states of full-body relaxation and mental calmness, and 3. a buddhist-inspired meditation session designed to help you develop and maintain feelings of loving kindness toward not just yourself and your friends, but toward people you don't even like. The CD makes no claims to be designed for advanced meditators or for buddhists or hindus/yoga practitioners looking for very deep and esoteric stuff. It is geared more toward the average person who just wants to develop the habit of relaxation and stress relief through natural, healthy means. him, if you happen to be reading this, keep up the good work fella, and I love your accent. I would also like to note that I have never fallen asleep while listening to this product. I would like to kindly suggest to the reviewer who said this CD makes him fall asleep, that he might want to get checked to see if he has a sleep disorder, or if he is simply not setting aside ample time for restful sleep at night. A healthy person getting adequate rest at night should be able to go into deep states of mental relaxation without dozing off, if not all the time, then most of the time.
I absolutely love how honest Mel is.
When he dives on respecting values, it was AMAZING and such an eye opener... its nothing about not wanting to take part in their value, but respecting thei passion as it comes and how they feel about it.... just... wow
What a great meditation. I love Jay Shetty. He is so genuine and speaks the truth in such an unassuming way. Inspiring
He is so humble and simply an amazing Human! Very nice to have someone so sweet!
Mel, you have helped me activate my own self acceptance. I get a lot out of tuning in. Thanks.
I just knew this interview would be GAME CHANGER
Love it ! THANK YOU Mel & Jay ✨
I cried so much! Happy relieving tears! I loved this so much! I listen to jay all the time i always get something of quality from him! I look forward to my healing journey!
I tried to explain to him that he needs to focus on him and love himself first then he feels fulfilment and happy then he can have happiness to give to someone you love.
WOW!! The bombs that Jay dropped in this episode is AMAZING. Mind blown and will be re-watching to get it all. Thank you so much.
Two of my favorite life guides at the same time. I didn’t search for either of you. I arrived on accident. So thankful I did. Amazing 🤩
Thank you so much ❤
Here is another accident…ua-cam.com/video/Nfu4j7EIGqs/v-deo.html
Respect, respect, respect 🙏🏽
Number 1 essential factor in determining the success of any relationship in my opinion!
The Greeks have 8 words for love. It’s fascinating to understand that it’s a lot more than romance
Mind blowing episode 🔥should be listened by everyone 💓
My two greatest hero’s, voices of reason and my inspiration! THANK YOU both!
He is amazing person jey ,
I cried I smiled I laughed. Mel. You have been the most inspirational communicator I have ever known. Jay, thank you for bringing joy to my day.
This was fantastic. Please bring Jay back. Mel, you are the best. ❤❤❤
Oh my goodness I was crying in that meditation with my younger self 🥺🥺🥺
I just ended a 8 month relationship with someone I thought was sent from above and when I was at my lowest this week having been incredibly hurt from someone, I thought was my friend. He toppled more rejection on top of it and when I told him my needs in my wants he totally turned around and gaslighted me, I was his soulmate. I was the best thing that ever happened to him. He was never gonna find another one like me. I was the best lover, the best kisser I was an incredible mom he loved my sensitivity but I ended it today because I spent time working on myself in the last five years, he hasn’t he’s gone from relationship to relationship and he apparently doesn’t think he needs to work on himself that he should just be accepted for who he is and this week he showed me how incredibly immature and mean he could be iced me out for 24 hours and then still doesn’t see he did anything wrong
I have been married for almost 39 years. We have been working on it. You speak so clearly. Thank you Jay. You are so authentic. I love you and . Thank you Mel.
The meditation made me cry
@53:49 ..."you have plenty of time...the speed will make it break" -- that's GOOD!
45:13 omg that’s so true
I keep replaying the meditation part of the podcast, am going thru my hardest breakup I have ever experienced at 32, Jay is right the more detail in the visualization the better you can love that younger self and the younger self has so much to say
Mel & Jay - my favorite people on UA-cam ❤️❤️
🤔💡There is a difference between chemistry and connection…💡
He has the most amazing eyes. Thats just an observation people!!
Every day I’m fighting with rumination to get back my time, time of freedom from rumination when I can think about something else. I reduce watching narcissistic content, I started running on a treadmill, I’m watching comedy shows, I’m learning Spanish- just to be able to switch my mind from rumination. After 3 years of constant fighting I started winning my life back.
The meditation was powerful. 13 was the age I got my first boyfriend and was the first in a line of toxic relationships with those that were broken and I worked to “fix” them but my 13 year old self told me work on you then you attract the best for you. Over the last 5 years I’ve been working on me and through therapy and poetry I found my voice and my life… I found the healed me while still healing. I’m now falling in love with someone but having a totally different experience and feels amazing.
Wow what a great episode! Brought tears to my eyes during the meditation part.
This is the best thing I have ever heard and as the mother of 4 daughters, it is everything I want my daughters to know as they move forward in their life and relationships.
Total lightbulb moment for Mel at 14 minutes. She will now be enlightened to an unbelievable relationship with her hubster 😻
Woah! The meditation was great! I never knew I had so much pain from childhood, cried while doing that. I’ll definitely visit her again to give her more love and comfort. Thank you so much Mel and Jay for doing what you do.
Smart lady miss Mel Robbins no words ma'am
People don’t show red flags until much farther into the relationship. Butterflies…watch those. You feel those, be careful. Your body keeps the score, it’s stress and a warning of what’s to come.
Lol. I haven’t even watched the end of the podcast. Jay said what I was thinking exactly.
OMG!!....that "Hallo" effect... qualities they never shown.... qualities they may never have 😮
Because all you need is Love
I appreciate this as I think how to advise my 17yo, knowing how important it is to choose the right person. It took me many years to get to know myself well enough to choose the right partner for me. I will share to him: SLOW IT DOWN:)
It's so funny they've talked about that. I had a lot of first dates when I felt like interviewing my date or coach them. I never felt comfortable with it and I was totally aware of this was the first and last date. I felt kinda used even when I decided to take the train and play along. This is absolutely not a good start. This interview is soo amazing 🔥 Thank you for everything 🔥
I love this profound insight. I am 56 and I am so open to continue on my quest of inner work and all I need to learn I am so open to educating myself to what makes more sense this is incredible information for me and everyone watching and listening I love it ❤ I thank Mel and her beautiful guest he is a true teacher of life and love I am intrigue by his research on love
Love, love, love Jay Shetty. He was the first voice I heard after my divorce 7 years ago. His words of love, self love, and affirmation, motivation, and moving forward with love got me threw a very horrible time in my life... God bless both of you ❤
Yes I resonate with what Mel shared. This reminded me of myself I can admit and share my vulnerability when I feel insecure I would admit my fears to my ex girlfriend but she didn't understand my sincerity and my vulnerability
Only at 9mins in and that is the BEST understanding of “Love,” and the journey of the feeling of “Love” and how it matures. Thank you!
I love my self my kids nobody genuine loves me always take from me give me what they want I love god iam not foolish
Meeting up my 13 year old made me cry thanks
Am I wrong to notice that Mel gets a little uncomfortable when Jay compliments her and doesn't even respond to him? I'm sure I notice that because I myself don't know how to accept compliments from others, but I would think that she would hear them all the time and would be more use to them. Anyway, I loved the whole thing. Great wisdom and yes, I did cry when we where taken to when we were 13 yrs old. Cried and had to pause because it was a great learning moment for me.
"That is so humbling..." WOW. He is so humble. Many would have had a big head from that introduction! That is so inspiring and gives me hope in humanity!
with a great supporting lover in my life i become unstoppable
Seems like the perfect Valentine's Day gift for your better half or a friend.
My 2 faves 🥰
Excellent dynamic 🕊️
I hope every heart finds healing & the one that will forever make your heart smile & feel protected, finds you. Wishing us all, a lifetime of love & laughter filled tomorrows 🫶
I am a small UA-camr, but I don't have any problem sharing my life's thoughts about love, to me, love is not for me, in my present life circle, and I don't want to be reborn again. I am not a negative person, but the situation forced me to become one!
@Directcall253 The naked truth of this world is that, not love but money is everything in someone's life. If you have money, you can get everything in this world you want, and that includes love..Of course, you must have different viewpoints on this.
Love your podcasts Mel. I love how you open your podcasts with, "hey it is your friend Mel" I love being your friend too!
I’m cooking breakfast fir my son and listening to this episode. I’m in tears while doing the meditation exercise 😢 thank you for this! 🙏🏼✨
Omg I'm 58 and Jay made incredible sense maybe now I have a much better idea of how to be healthier smarter in finding the right one not assume just because someone has a good job etc...means their a good catch - the tools he enlightens us to seriously invaluable THANK YOU where were you all my life 😄
I’m blown away by this excellent teaching. Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Jay n Mel❤❤
THANK YOU 🙏 THIS IS A MIND BLOOWING PODCAST ❤
You guys blow my mind every single time! Thank you so much for coming together on this podcast interview !!
Very true. Totally agreed with Jay. Very clearly about ownership not partnerships. You helped me to see my my partner always wants me to do his ways, criticised if I didn't. He complain a lot, yelling, shouting to my face.....just left that toxic.
That inner child meditation was intense
I learned so much through this interview! I could watch it again and again. That you both for sharing yourselves ❤
So much love and gratitude for Jay Shetty and the wisdom he shares 🙏🏼💞
Mel, my dream is to start a podcast. PLEASE do an episode on how you got started.
You're the best.... and Jay is the best.
What an outstanding episode.
You two both are a gift.... to see you together like this having this discussion
Is Awwwwwweeeeesome.
Thanks so much. 🎉🎉❤
I am so happy to hear this conversation. I’ve been journeying through breaking the conditioning of what we are taught is love and relationships. I love to hear such great words toward real love.
I have discovered that the opposite of love is not hate, but selfishness.
We must let others be themselves and focus on our own growth and self love.
Absolutely loved it guys !!! ❤
Love this!!!
This was SO good! Thank you 🙏
A former monk! OMG!! So lovely!
Found this wisdom during separation 😭😭😭 thank you so much 🙏🏻 we need more of this clarity
Absolutely thought provoking. Thank you.
This was great!!!
❤️❤️❤️ WOW!
What a great episode!!!❤
Very authentic thank you both 💓
Is it just me but I cried when i hugged my 13yr old self. 😢
THIS IS SOOOOO GOOD ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Powerful! Thank you!!
58:58 "The monk is in the house dropping the wisdom" 😂😍