Brenda Ngxoli Exposes Her Mother Finally

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  • Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 626

  • @katlegomhlauli8423
    @katlegomhlauli8423 11 днів тому +252

    😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 “the failures of your parents are not yours to correct “

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 11 днів тому +10

      This comment needs to be pinned

    • @margaretlesoleso
      @margaretlesoleso 11 днів тому +5

      True

    • @mphosetlogelo8275
      @mphosetlogelo8275 10 днів тому +2

      💯

    • @MTKLZ
      @MTKLZ 10 днів тому +3

      💯

    • @dineomolapo9934
      @dineomolapo9934 10 днів тому +7

      I am seeing dementia Brenda should get her mother check up .. I have been there.... I was enemy number one it's start like this it's a slow process of anger episodes..she would tell people I stole her money and I don't give her food 😭😭😭 first stage this one 😭😭

  • @NqonqoDanster_Phillips
    @NqonqoDanster_Phillips 11 днів тому +245

    It's always the LEAST FAVOURITE CHILD who goes above and beyond to build and provide for their family, take their siblings to school and when they lose it all, they're treated like dogs by the same family.

    • @Banzii_Mavuso
      @Banzii_Mavuso 10 днів тому +12

      So true! I'm one of those least favorite children and I left!

    • @NqonqoDanster_Phillips
      @NqonqoDanster_Phillips 10 днів тому +18

      @@Banzii_Mavuso wherever you go, always remember that you're God's favourite and no one can take that away from you. I wish you wisdom, happiness and strength💝

    • @Awake_oh_watchmen
      @Awake_oh_watchmen 10 днів тому +6

      Yes the black sheep of the family 💔

    • @MissOndela
      @MissOndela 10 днів тому +3

      This!! I wish I can like it a thousand times…

    • @dineomolapo9934
      @dineomolapo9934 10 днів тому +2

      I see dementia guys they should take mama for medical check up ....

  • @MmakhumoPLebelo
    @MmakhumoPLebelo 10 днів тому +205

    I live at home I buy groceries and my mother doesn’t talk to me. I’ve made peace with it . I’m gathering building material and keeping my mouth shut coz I live in her house. When the triggers triggers I sit in the car for hours and remind myself that I’m leaving soon. What she is doing doesn’t work. Some parents are toxic and be okay with that.

    • @zubonemsimango3387
      @zubonemsimango3387 10 днів тому +8

      I'm sorry. I hope you find healing 😢

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому +16

      This right here. And it's not even about dementia. Some parents are just demanding or abusive

    • @xoli.8780
      @xoli.8780 10 днів тому +13

      Girl same here. It feels like I live with a stranger that dislikes me. I just had to make peace with it and work on building myself so I can move out. Sometimes you just have to accept people for who they are, no matter how difficult that might be.

    • @nompumelelochauke472
      @nompumelelochauke472 10 днів тому +11

      I am facing the same predicament with my mom and it's affecting my spiritual journey with Jesus because i am full of resentment and frustration. May God help us heal

    • @SueEland-y7s
      @SueEland-y7s 10 днів тому +8

      In life if you want peace find your own space njeee inkunzi ezimbili esbayeni won't work , and stop this thing of being black taxed

  • @elibethzen7518
    @elibethzen7518 10 днів тому +34

    I raised my kids and sent them to private schools. Bought cars for them in Uni but forgot myself. My children are happily married leaving abroad. Fortunately i can still work since m self employed. They send me money and i am eternally grateful. I am saving to build my retirement home and i used to get excited and tell them my plans. They would all want to chip in and give me money to buy land and to build. I dont want that so i would delay always. I am now quietly saving and praying 2027 i can host them in my fully completed home.

  • @siwesoga927
    @siwesoga927 11 днів тому +85

    I'm so hurt ngo Brenda Ngxoli betuna 🥹Sending light and love❤️🙏

  • @NqonqoDanster_Phillips
    @NqonqoDanster_Phillips 10 днів тому +209

    Can Brenda Ngxoli start vlogging, she deserves to live soft, i follow every SAan mna and i watch the ads in all vlogs.

    • @ntombe1866
      @ntombe1866 10 днів тому +9

      I wish we can all think like you, Our artists are going through a lot.

    • @victorioussisters3307
      @victorioussisters3307 10 днів тому +10

      Since we love her we’d definitely subscribe and watch her content.

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому +5

      U r so right

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому +2

      ​@@lifeofoarahso wish she could do something likw vlogging and then get monitised rhen leave this place so called home cause the child bandla. Hai

    • @sihle_mtshali
      @sihle_mtshali 10 днів тому +2

      You are such a wonderful person, I am building my of UA-cam, I would wish people like you on my followers. God bless you.

  • @vuyomtshali
    @vuyomtshali 11 днів тому +63

    "Choose you first " that Owamie!!!!!!!! I will preach it forever and ever🤞🤞🤞

  • @nonhlanhlamhlanga777
    @nonhlanhlamhlanga777 11 днів тому +62

    Thanks for speaking up for our talented yet exploited actors, and for sharing the dynamics of your relationship with your parent. I totally agree with you, our culture perpetrates the mistreatment and misuse of the African child. This needs to stop and it must start with us displaying and teaching our children unconditional love, and the need for boundaries in relationships.

    • @mahareng
      @mahareng 10 днів тому

      💯%🎉🎉🎉 # support our honest Artists❤

  • @nokuthulatiki3490
    @nokuthulatiki3490 11 днів тому +86

    There are some parents that hate their kids when they cannot put something on the table bengenamali bathande abanemali

    • @LukeRev480
      @LukeRev480 11 днів тому +6

      This one sounds like she never loved Brenda or she has been taking out her frustrations on her

    • @buhlembatha1219
      @buhlembatha1219 9 днів тому

      true

  • @Hervoicetoo
    @Hervoicetoo 11 днів тому +43

    😢😢this is so sad.our legends bathong.i wish we can do something about the industry.

  • @lettitiasambumbu1266
    @lettitiasambumbu1266 11 днів тому +66

    Yes not all Parents are good parents.

    • @PaballoMo
      @PaballoMo 11 днів тому +6

      🤞🏽🤞🏽 especially mothers

  • @Esthersbucketlist
    @Esthersbucketlist 10 днів тому +64

    Brenda please start a UA-cam channel, you’ll do well, start with the phone you have, just start vlogging, in 2025 we can’t wait for jobs we create our own. People are making a living off UA-cam example owamie, just by telling your story she’s going to earn from this.

    • @naBhuda1
      @naBhuda1 10 днів тому +2

      found her old channel...its on her name and surname...i subscribed...lets help her indeed

    • @Esthersbucketlist
      @Esthersbucketlist 10 днів тому +1

      @ ok I’ll look for it

  • @WristOn_Starlie_Barbie
    @WristOn_Starlie_Barbie 10 днів тому +89

    Respectfully ne: I went through the same nonsense with my grandmother and until I left for good, I was the evil child in our neighborhood. My sister left when she was 19 and I judged her coz I was a child (we are 8 years apart). As soon as I graduated, by the grace of myt hardwork, I got a job and left that old woman.
    These are the same "Elders" we see wondering emalokshini alone, kanti they abused their children and the children left. As black kids, we are tired of the verbal and physical abuse and the LIES that these elderly women get away with. I haven't seen my sister in 12 years, Idk even know if she's alive, because of a foul old woman who shatered our family with her lies. I had to choose between being a "foul child who left her gogo in shambles" or the child "who is at home and abusing her grandmother".
    Brenda, leave, Sisi. I feel your pain to the t.

    • @luthandodingalibala1875
      @luthandodingalibala1875 10 днів тому +8

      Ey it is so sad that so many of us can relate to such stories.

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому +3

      Exactly. Choose your mental health sisi. Leave her she doesn't need sympathy she needs help lomakhulu. She has her own issues and u cant carry that burden

    • @Nomathemba_7006
      @Nomathemba_7006 10 днів тому

      Love and light ✨️ sis.im, I'm so sorry for the awful experience 🫂

    • @Drip3657
      @Drip3657 10 днів тому

      Very true.shem sorry sisi i can relate

    • @sihleqengqeleka7125
      @sihleqengqeleka7125 10 днів тому +1

      I'm just sad you haven't seen your sister in so many years 😭

  • @africanspirituality-gogonk8709
    @africanspirituality-gogonk8709 10 днів тому +76

    She built that home by the way. So she did invest for a rainy day. Unfortunately she built for a family that doesn’t value her😢

    • @elizabethletsoso2558
      @elizabethletsoso2558 10 днів тому +1

      So sad right 😊

    • @MbuyaBanda33
      @MbuyaBanda33 9 днів тому

      Heartbreaking 😢

    • @sufi8903
      @sufi8903 9 днів тому

      That's not investing, she upgraded her mom's house...not her house

    • @CharmaineKgatla
      @CharmaineKgatla 5 днів тому

      Hence I build a house for my granma...where I know should I get to this stage n forced to go back home will be able to go back...but in my mother's yard go toxic we gonna fight

  • @marthasquire3127
    @marthasquire3127 11 днів тому +81

    Ladies should move out of their mothers house just after school. The longer they stay is where their relationships will deteriorate. The girl child will think she tries to improve the house while the very mom feels you trying to take over. Ladies please move out for your own peace.

    • @ntombimthabela
      @ntombimthabela 10 днів тому +11

      I agree, speaking from experience and it's hurt to see how they baby their sons sometimes

    • @mzansisoapiereviewroastand613
      @mzansisoapiereviewroastand613 10 днів тому +13

      Leave and go where bethuna😢

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому

      ​@@mzansisoapiereviewroastand613uzakhele or uzithengele indlu yakho. Brenda does get gigs. She has been working.

    • @nezisanogumla9730
      @nezisanogumla9730 10 днів тому +1

      ⁠find mkhukhunyana lol it ain’t easy for a girl child ur mom might be ok but ur brothers wife are coming n question why you still here you should be at your hubbies house too like iam instantly ur bros start having issues with you

    • @lonagwegwe
      @lonagwegwe 10 днів тому +1

      Very true

  • @sibulelenqwelo8324
    @sibulelenqwelo8324 10 днів тому +54

    She has gone through so much 😢😢😢 .I think she is at her breaking point

  • @tshepisoletsoara
    @tshepisoletsoara 10 днів тому +22

    My heart truly breaks for Brenda, I love her so much. I pray that her life takes a complete turn for the better, that God heals and protects her, and that this year brings nothing but positive changes and breakthroughs for her. I also pray that her mother finds healing and becomes a better, more supportive person for her.
    It’s so heartbreaking because mothers can sometimes be incredibly toxic, and it’s such a heavy burden to carry. Parents are supposed to support their children, yet so often, they place unrealistic expectations on them without considering the pain and sacrifices their children endure.
    What makes it even harder is that, no matter how much you might want to walk away, it’s almost impossible to turn your back on your own parents. A parent will always be a parent, and that bond is difficult to break.
    More than anything, her daughter shouldn’t be exposed to such a toxic environment, as it will affect her for years to come. It’s heartbreaking because, as much as most parents want their children to avoid the same toxic upbringing they had, life often has a way of repeating those cycles. I pray her daughter doesn’t have to spend any more time in that environment, and that she’s protected from its impact.
    I pray that God’s mercy upon Brenda’s life is revealed in a powerful way, bringing her the peace and transformation she needs. 🥹❤️

  • @sinethembamagasela1833
    @sinethembamagasela1833 11 днів тому +34

    I pray for healing for the both of them.

    • @AyandaPamellaBomela
      @AyandaPamellaBomela 8 днів тому

      I think there are some evil spirits between their relationship hle😢😢😢😢😢😢 love and light for them

  • @ayaground
    @ayaground 11 днів тому +47

    Brenda's challenge is true.. There are lots of mothers like this! I know this in real life and in real time! Some mothers have gqwiry tendencies stru!

    • @LukeRev480
      @LukeRev480 11 днів тому +10

      And the child end up with mental health issues like Brenda said she struggled/ struggles with it.

    • @ayaground
      @ayaground 11 днів тому +6

      @@LukeRev480 It's simple, to maintain sanity I had to cut off. Sad reality and I empathize with Brenda.

    • @Blessed_for_life_2023
      @Blessed_for_life_2023 9 днів тому

      That lady who's vocal about her Hiv status also experienced the same thing. She also came crying on her channel, but at least there was no video of these verbal abuse exchanges. 😢

    • @ayaground
      @ayaground 9 днів тому

      @@Blessed_for_life_2023 I think it is rather unfair to expect people to react and or respond to challenges of life in a singular way. People are different. And parents like this exist and it goes to show how traumatized and damaged the family institution is.

  • @siceloduma2929
    @siceloduma2929 11 днів тому +38

    I agree with you Melanie Brenda Ngxoli is a great actress unfortunately she’s in a wrong country where talent is not remunerated commensurately!! Fame does not translate to a positive bank account in SA. Owami nailed it with her rant in poor payment of SA actors and actresses by the industry!!!

  • @thepheonix6501
    @thepheonix6501 11 днів тому +73

    Its so annoying ppl blaming Brenda commenting on things they know nothing of...i know this life these mothers are jelous and competing against their daughters even praying for their down fall and the sad part is the ignorant ppl always siding with these evil mothers

    • @mama-12-j
      @mama-12-j 11 днів тому +6

      My experince

    • @Nomathemba_7006
      @Nomathemba_7006 10 днів тому

      ​@@mama-12-jaskies 😢❤

    • @zamalotshwamncube5076
      @zamalotshwamncube5076 10 днів тому +3

      It's not even ignorance they just don't want to accept that certain mothers are just evil

    • @MeneMenemene-d7n
      @MeneMenemene-d7n 10 днів тому +3

      Don't worry you are no alone Nam I used to be kule meko.Isiphelo sowam saba xa engenamandla ndamonga.Ndimsa kei dates zakhe eclinic.Ii siblings zam ezi wazithanda engazi thuki zange zifune nombamba xa engenazenzela nto.Zange ndifune ukubuyisa ububi ngobubi.Kungoku nje ndikhululekile and ndixolile isono sakhe zange ndavuma ukusithathela kum yoxoxa yedwa kuBawo wethu osemaZulwini.Wasweleka ngo 2012 ethembele kum nam ndimnceda

    • @choenepreciousseboni515
      @choenepreciousseboni515 8 днів тому

      Bathong 😢 the damage they doing to us💔...

  • @mbalenhlenkabinde5478
    @mbalenhlenkabinde5478 11 днів тому +46

    When you have a bad parent people want you to keep quite about it. They shame you when you mention all the trauma and abuse you are going through they say it is yr fault that yr mom is doing all the things she is doing to you.

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому

      Because toxic elders, toxic parents and rape or molestation in black families, all these r protected and u will be shunned if u speak out. Good for brendam this old lady is toxic and abusive

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому +1

      🎉🎉🎉🎉The truth

    • @bigthangz5489
      @bigthangz5489 7 днів тому

      Some of u$ have learned to keep quiet about abu$ive parents & abu$ve relatives .
      Koz once u talk..u are the bad one. The relatives are always "good".
      Many are going through What Brenda is going thru. Hope she gets herself into a safer life.

  • @lussylupindo1093
    @lussylupindo1093 11 днів тому +31

    I work in the film industry behind the scenes we shoot international movies imali ikhona pha I’m so happy for Thuso Mbedu ngoba she is making it

  • @thatotlhowe
    @thatotlhowe 11 днів тому +28

    You got to love Xhosa and its accent sana😊
    Dysfunctional families guys eish

    • @thokomasondo9687
      @thokomasondo9687 10 днів тому +2

      I am Zulu I love Xhosa language so much ,the clicks 😅❤

  • @sharonuahupirapi2719
    @sharonuahupirapi2719 11 днів тому +15

    I appreciate you Owami, I was waiting for you to translate other people were just posting and assuming we all understand

  • @talia7634
    @talia7634 11 днів тому +23

    My mom and my sister so toxic. The inner peace i have since cutting my sister. I didnt speak to my mum for 3 months and I’m sorry to say but, that was the best 3 months ever

    • @MrsResi356
      @MrsResi356 10 днів тому +6

      It's over a year now since I stopped speaking to my mom and little sister.... Yoh guys enough is enough

    • @zamalotshwamncube5076
      @zamalotshwamncube5076 10 днів тому +1

      If it's best for you there's nothing wrong

    • @keikei1943
      @keikei1943 8 днів тому

      Wise choice

  • @MelanieNtephea
    @MelanieNtephea 11 днів тому +24

    Thanx owamie for playing it like it is, not all parents are parents or fit to be, thanx owamiè let me subscribe to you dear this is reall

  • @katlegomhlauli8423
    @katlegomhlauli8423 11 днів тому +18

    That broke my heart 😢

  • @TumiYukii
    @TumiYukii 10 днів тому +14

    people don't realize once you start recording family members it's because they've done such nonsense for years and how if you didn't hit record, nobody would believe you because that family member has fooled the public that they're a great person but they're toxic behind closed the doors.

    • @sufi8903
      @sufi8903 9 днів тому

      Why is she there since it's been sooo toxic for years

  • @Skhonza
    @Skhonza 10 днів тому +14

    Sending lots of love to Brenda. Xhosa moms are a special breed (and this is not a compliment) bakithi. Once told my dad uthi yena he left his responsibility (me) and chose himself and nami i chuz me ke sana.. manje we meet and greet each other xasibonana my dhiye ✌️

    • @zeeonadaily3364
      @zeeonadaily3364 10 днів тому +4

      Has nothing to do with race.Moms like these can be found in all races/cultures

    • @Skhonza
      @Skhonza 10 днів тому +2

      @zeeonadaily3364 i dnt dispute tht but ke mna i wouldn't knw chomie.. mna i cn talk abt my experience.. hence the mention.

  • @MelanieNtephea
    @MelanieNtephea 11 днів тому +18

    Owami you said it all dear in a mature manner,& bayasiblackmailer owamie as amaxhosa these parents like we must do everything for them afterwards they do this here

    • @lumkamatsafa1327
      @lumkamatsafa1327 11 днів тому +3

      This one lady from mount free once told me that her mom asked her to take out a 80k loan for her. I was sk shocked and confused, how can you ask a child who just started working to take out a loan haaayibo

  • @preciousisiguzo2052
    @preciousisiguzo2052 11 днів тому +36

    Reminds me of my Xhosa mum ndaphumla mhla walishiya eli. I endured a lot of emotional, verbal, physical abuse. Andikabikho right nje tu . But I will be fine wethu.

    • @nomaswazidibako9490
      @nomaswazidibako9490 11 днів тому +5

      Xolo sis. Healing is a journey ❤

    • @phumeza343
      @phumeza343 11 днів тому +3

      Oh, sisi uxolo, I hope waya kwi therapy for healing.I am saying that with sadness kuba mna owam usaphila and we building our relationship and I thank God kuba I didn't want her to die singe na relationship it's not perfect but it's much better Believe our mothers have traumas abazikhuphela to their children obviously they love some of their children.

    • @LukeRev480
      @LukeRev480 11 днів тому +5

      Mfethu did you have to mention the tribe? There is a family like that in all tribes/races. I am sorry though

    • @ntombe1866
      @ntombe1866 10 днів тому +3

      ​​@@LukeRev480
      Well said.

    • @MrsResi356
      @MrsResi356 10 днів тому

      Sorry sisi

  • @RamarediMphahlele-f4z
    @RamarediMphahlele-f4z 11 днів тому +17

    A black Child life 😢, so painful 💔

  • @avushabeuiners30
    @avushabeuiners30 10 днів тому +16

    This behavior also occurs in the coloured community too😢 very traumatizing. That's why I chose to love from far that I don't see them and they don't need to see me. When will I have my own family if I'm being used like this😢😮

  • @VIRGO-TL
    @VIRGO-TL 10 днів тому +19

    Brenda doesn't deserve this 😪 she's very talented and entertaining

  • @lindokmo7968
    @lindokmo7968 10 днів тому +17

    Firstly, I love your look without a wig & less makeup Owami! Less is More!🥰
    Secondly,Unfortunately Brenda's situation is a very common problem in most of our African Mzansi homes. Most of our moms experienced traumas from their own parents, siblings, aunts, uncles our fathers , teachers, collegues& even worse most of them grew under apartheid system. It's no excuse for how most of them treat us but it's the unfortunate sad reality we have to deal with. It's high time we have more dialogues about this issue!🥺😢
    Finally we need to change the way we manage their toxic behavior for the sake of our own healing and so that we can become better moms & aunts to our kids!🙏

  • @thandiwemadi8944
    @thandiwemadi8944 10 днів тому +11

    Thanks Owami, I'm learning a lot. I almost feel embarrassed for giving more than I have. I'm old, and I should learn to put my self first.

    • @ntokotom147
      @ntokotom147 10 днів тому +2

      Choose self

    • @user-eh3jt7bs6q
      @user-eh3jt7bs6q 9 днів тому

      Yhooo Wena I do that I send money home that time everyone at home is working ...and helping out my brother who is a drug addict.i even make my kids to understand....my parents are working and my 4 siblings are working...

  • @Sarah_M84
    @Sarah_M84 10 днів тому +9

    I know parents like this one,she loves you when you have money, when things are bad they hate you

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому +1

      😢😢😢 There are many like her sadly

  • @maritawanazw
    @maritawanazw 10 днів тому +15

    As someone who has studied for and worked in this industry, the best you can do is to be diverse cause hhayiiiiii....entertainment is just hard to make it EVERYWHERE.
    Some actresses where i am, are sleeping their way up because they feel its too hard and too long to earn a role. They don't wanna work for it or be patient. Some are just not talented and solely doing it for fame. Then we also have producers and directors who take advantage of the performer's desperation.
    Others go to sangomas and do rituals to get roles.
    I know not everyone has enough funds to create their own work but an established performer like Brenda can create her own UA-cam channel.
    Maybe she can put audition tips, acting exercises and methods etc so that she can make some extra money.

  • @lonagwegwe
    @lonagwegwe 10 днів тому +12

    Ooh my God South Africa need to speak about this sana yhuuuu everything Owami mentioned I went through it all, spending every cent to impress parents and siblings, lost my job and people started treating me like trash, when I started working as a professional I gave it all to my family, extending houses and buying furniture but never got even a single thank you and when I started struggling because of debts I created to build a home for my family then issues started again. I moved overseas and told myself that it’s time to prioritize myself and my child. I had to pay extended family to take care of my child while I have sisters and a mother .

    • @nompumelelochauke472
      @nompumelelochauke472 10 днів тому +1

      im so sorry sis, may God heal you

    • @brendahlela
      @brendahlela 9 днів тому

      happening to me right now.

    • @Blessed_for_life_2023
      @Blessed_for_life_2023 9 днів тому

      Yoh shem. That shows how anointed you are. Because against all odds u conquered. God had to show u that way so u can prioritise yourself. Signs were there, but it was too dark for your spirit to acknowledge them ❤

  • @FudgeTheGoddess
    @FudgeTheGoddess 11 днів тому +15

    Yoh , I know this life too well. Our parents need so much help and healing.
    It hurts to watch her having to now show her mom to the public for this type of behaviour
    15:28 Owamie you are talking facts! As consumers we have power in our hands and we should use it when things like these happen

  • @nelzg5819
    @nelzg5819 11 днів тому +19

    The blackmailing of ones own children in saying, " i took u to school" needs to be stopped. U chose to have children. Who was supposed to feed and take them to school if not U who brought them into this world. Taking a child to school is that childs right. It is the responsibility of a parent not a favour to a child. U c why these mothers need to be called out for being abusive and toxic. Ur child doesnt owe u their entire salary just coz u gave them an education. It's ur responsibility. Kohlakele this granny and very bitter. How do u put your hands on a grown woman khona. Bazali must respect their kids as well. Haikhona

    • @Banzii_Mavuso
      @Banzii_Mavuso 11 днів тому +3

      Banje abamakhulu. Very abusive and bitter and protected by their communities.

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому +1

      ​@@Banzii_Mavusobakhohlakele ukufa. And bayathukisela and bayathuka. Next thing abantu bathi, haaai umdala hlonipha. Ha a akho kuhlonipha apha. lungisani umntu omdala ayeke ukukhohlakala. This is abuse. Age, dementia is no excuse for this rotten behaviour. Kukhohlakala and entitlement qha

    • @rufaro003
      @rufaro003 9 днів тому +1

      The government requires parents to take kids to school I don’t understand why parents do this 😢

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 9 днів тому

      ​@@rufaro003maybe some mothers give birth with the government's seed so the gvt needs to pay those children's education. Asazi

  • @NimrodXotyeni
    @NimrodXotyeni 10 днів тому +17

    How can I help her bethuna ? I truly want to help.😊

    • @wonkemaqubela485
      @wonkemaqubela485 10 днів тому +1

      God bless you. Please contact Owami she will make a way

  • @AlwaysW1nn1ng777
    @AlwaysW1nn1ng777 10 днів тому +7

    Oh Owamie! That was well said.
    People can be really inconsiderate, they have to experience things themselves before they can actually understand that they exist 😢
    I hope there is a way we can contribute to help Brenda ❤️

  • @zanelendebele-lw4so
    @zanelendebele-lw4so 10 днів тому +10

    I don't think it's about money, it's about entitlement, our parents think that we are their life extension. They want to fix what they never accomplished through us ( children) I've been through that horrible journey and I regret it now

    • @zamalotshwamncube5076
      @zamalotshwamncube5076 10 днів тому +1

      "My child will be something big one day and do this and that for me"😢

  • @kgothi-Bee
    @kgothi-Bee 10 днів тому +12

    Facts 🙏🏻we as the public we need to boycott this industry and stop watching 👀 👏🏻 I have stopped watching Generations since then as well. They get paid small money and on shows with a lot of views 🤞🏻true😪

    • @koketsoditau5204
      @koketsoditau5204 10 днів тому +1

      Since July I haven't on TV to date

    • @noluthandodiliza8957
      @noluthandodiliza8957 10 днів тому +1

      U Brenda is wrong why can't she just leave?

    • @babalwanonjaba9627
      @babalwanonjaba9627 10 днів тому

      So true cc

    • @MatsiSelema
      @MatsiSelema 9 днів тому

      I feel so sorry 4 what she is going through. But saying that they are being paid enough,celebrities don't handle their money with
      They live above their means to please others.

  • @NomaladyMdlokovi
    @NomaladyMdlokovi 11 днів тому +18

    Eish I don't like what is going on here, for both of them 🤞

  • @LieslJames
    @LieslJames 11 днів тому +8

    This broke my heart. Brenda needs to seek professional help for her own sake and for her child's sake too. She needs to forgive her family for the abuse and forgive herself for allowing the abuse. If she doesn't work towards healing her wounds, they will fester and affect her relationship with her own child later in life, the same way they have affected her career. We can say Brenda was blackballed and yes we'd be right, but a lot of her career misfortunes were brought by unresolved hurt. Brenda self-sabotages. Not because she isn't smart or because she's a trouble maker. but simply because she has deep wounds that she still needs to face head on. It's all up to her at this point. Nobody but Brenda can save Brenda. I wish her all the best because she's such a gift.

    • @Banzii_Mavuso
      @Banzii_Mavuso 11 днів тому +3

      The abuse that she experienced through her family caused her mind and soul to be programmed to think she is not good enough.
      Very evil to bring a child into the world and then teach a child to tolerate bad treatment.
      Brenda was never a self sabotager, production companies have moved on from legends - period.
      Their time has come and went and what's sad about this is that Brenda should be at peace now but now she can't enjoy her time at the home that she built because her mother is ungrateful and is still abusive even as she lives in a house built by her daughter.
      Umdaka loMama qha!

    • @maritawanazw
      @maritawanazw 10 днів тому +1

      Very true. That's why therapy is very important for most black folks. The problem is that many of us don't think it's necessary.

    • @ntombe1866
      @ntombe1866 10 днів тому

      ​@@Banzii_Mavuso
      Well said.

  • @wpp1586
    @wpp1586 10 днів тому +12

    I work internationally, parents guilt trip you to giving them your all. Took me years to realize that, it even came between my marriage ngoba yeyi they will do you masimbha.praying for Brenda

    • @theemapsmash
      @theemapsmash 6 днів тому +1

      There's a saying that goes "make ur toxic parents stay away from ur marriage for it to work out." Rather ask a couple who's been married for years to intervene when u have problems than the parents.
      In fact try to solve ur matters with ur man no matter what.

  • @katlegomhlauli8423
    @katlegomhlauli8423 11 днів тому +21

    Also these celebrities have agents,accountants and pr managers and lawyers.. after listening to what Taraji P Henson said about being paid and how an entertainers pay check is spreading between all these people yhooo 🙆🏽‍♀️

  • @bangibabs
    @bangibabs 10 днів тому +4

    Yho Owami you have spoken. Some lack empathy to understand the struggles some go through. People will corner you until you put them on blast because how can a parent try to slander their child’s name. I feel for this woman.

  • @keleabetswemogapi6141
    @keleabetswemogapi6141 11 днів тому +9

    Like myself I started building these house nw my kids they don't hv a home

  • @Mpho_Malefela
    @Mpho_Malefela 10 днів тому +5

    It’s truly sad and heartbreaking reading y’all’s comments and what you went through/are going through with your parents. I pray you receive the healing and strength you need to carry on and be able to break this cycle. Sending you love and a big hug from me🫂🤎

  • @phumeza343
    @phumeza343 11 днів тому +18

    Unfortunately this a story of most black families with toxic mothers.If they don't get support or money from their children, they go on rage and cry abuse. Brenda, you are my prayers sisi

    • @LukeRev480
      @LukeRev480 11 днів тому

      That's a lie! I know many orderly African families! All races/ tribes have those dysfunctional families like this one

    • @ndwekazim4881
      @ndwekazim4881 10 днів тому +2

      It's not only mothers, some siblings do behave like this, as if u owe them

    • @Soccerupdatesdaily
      @Soccerupdatesdaily 10 днів тому

      I know a mother who took loans for her child to go to school, with the hopes that when she gets a job she will help repay loans. Once she got the job she refused to help her mother, she told her it was her responsibility to take her to Wits. The poor woman can't even afford a decent grocery due to loans. There are always two sides of the story. Children do financially abuse their parents and gets away with it. They manipulate their parents for financial assistance, when the parents wants their money the use the black tax wild card. I have seen it first hand.

    • @amandanxumalo2007
      @amandanxumalo2007 10 днів тому +1

      ​@Soccerupdatesdaily but who was supposed to take the daughter to school if her mother didn't. The biggest lesson is that we shouldn't do things for our children and then expect them to "pay us back".

    • @LangelihleNgema
      @LangelihleNgema 10 днів тому

      @@SoccerupdatesdailyHow is it financial abuse?it is s parent’s responsibility to take care of their children and pay for their education.

  • @Rebecca-eu3ri
    @Rebecca-eu3ri 11 днів тому +65

    I grew up like ninjas it’s painful for real, our parents are TOXIC😢

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 11 днів тому +3

      Abusive

    • @Rebecca-eu3ri
      @Rebecca-eu3ri 11 днів тому +14

      @ it’s been 10 year yesterday not seeing them and I’m good for real.

    • @vuyomtshali
      @vuyomtshali 11 днів тому +1

      Very toxic and it's sad😮😮.

    • @vuyomtshali
      @vuyomtshali 11 днів тому +4

      ​@@Rebecca-eu3riI'm happy for you, I'm only learning to do that now.

    • @Rebecca-eu3ri
      @Rebecca-eu3ri 11 днів тому +1

      @ enkosi my dear🙌🏾…. Take your time.

  • @lilstarrshiba
    @lilstarrshiba 10 днів тому +23

    My dad once said i owe him for raising me, that moment im an unemployed teacher working at one of the clothing stores. I can't even afford myself and son.

  • @LangelihleNgema
    @LangelihleNgema 10 днів тому +11

    People should stop having kids with the intention that when they are older their kids should take care of them that’s a selfish way of thinking.

    • @elizabethletsoso2558
      @elizabethletsoso2558 10 днів тому +2

      That's our black parents tjooo

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому

      Nantsoke. They make kids so those kids cud slave away for them. Bafuna le na le akupheli. They dont have kids because they love them no

  • @vuyomtshali
    @vuyomtshali 11 днів тому +28

    Owamie you are so right yazi I feel sorry for Brenda. All I can say is I regret building my parents a house especially my mother 🤞🤞🤞and they like to say "I took you to school".

    • @syeh779
      @syeh779 11 днів тому +9

      As if you asked to be born 😂

    • @vuyomtshali
      @vuyomtshali 11 днів тому +1

      @@syeh779 imagine 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

    • @lefatanemabitsela4072
      @lefatanemabitsela4072 11 днів тому +5

      When parents start saying I took you to school 🙄 who was supposed to send you to school? You were her responsibility. You are deemed an adult after 18yrs. Now lately NAFSAS is the one educating our children so why take the credit.

    • @mphosetlogelo8275
      @mphosetlogelo8275 10 днів тому +3

      ​@syeh779 imagine and Nomhle Tema said "we choose our parents" 😮

    • @mphosetlogelo8275
      @mphosetlogelo8275 10 днів тому

      Imagine and Nonhle Tema said we choose our parents 😮

  • @MelanieNtephea
    @MelanieNtephea 11 днів тому +5

    I like what you sad here owamie truth for what it is, truth is indeed they are taken advantage by these people thanx owami for clarity..

  • @AmandaNdzala
    @AmandaNdzala 10 днів тому +9

    I hv a problem with the mother being called uDabawo. Maybe there was no mothery love given to Brenda growing up

    • @mnce_int
      @mnce_int 10 днів тому

      What does the name mean

    • @ndwekazim4881
      @ndwekazim4881 10 днів тому +2

      ​@@mnce_intit means paternal aunt, maybe she grew up at mom's family house with paternal cousins calling her mother Dabs/ babekazi??

  • @mandi_san
    @mandi_san 11 днів тому +3

    Thank God for you Owami❤

  • @ThandiSelokela
    @ThandiSelokela 11 днів тому +11

    Nathi bantu abadala sinokuhlukymeza izingane zethu

  • @mahadsaid74
    @mahadsaid74 11 днів тому +8

    It's really sad. I hope they fix their relationship. :(

  • @tsholofelochauke1125
    @tsholofelochauke1125 11 днів тому +14

    I'm going through the exact same thing.

  • @Banzii_Mavuso
    @Banzii_Mavuso 10 днів тому +5

    Yoh, I woke up to this and honestly, the people who built the entertainment industry of this country are not in a good place financially.
    Brenda's home situation reminds me of my past situation and I left home in Feb 2023 after l lived for 6 months in end 2022 after leaving Jozi because of also being black balled.
    Losing both parents is such a burden cos my grandmother abused me after my parents died, when I was 8 years and I used to send money home since 2010 when I was 19 and only in 2022 when I went through financial issues, I was treated like a dog.
    I left my grandfather's house and kept a stranger's home in a village for a year and I got through that.
    Black grandparents/parents are evil.

  • @Leila350
    @Leila350 10 днів тому +3

    In our African cultures, we have been programmed that the moment we get on our feet, we definitely owe our parents and pay them back, this puts us under a lot of pressure to literally take care of them every way possible

  • @michaelabah4231
    @michaelabah4231 10 днів тому +2

    Owamie, I LOVE this figure of yours, I swear. - Mike, Nigeria,

  • @sizakelezulu6578
    @sizakelezulu6578 11 днів тому +5

    The intelligent Owamie 👌

  • @joycethomas89
    @joycethomas89 10 днів тому +2

    You spot on, here Owami, this is the sad reality 😢

  • @lebogangnka887
    @lebogangnka887 11 днів тому +3

    Well said this breaks my heart

  • @zanelendebele-lw4so
    @zanelendebele-lw4so 10 днів тому +3

    All I can say to Brenda, you are not alone Sisi, your situation will soon turn around and you'll be the one giving advice to the ones that are inflicted

  • @Nomathemba_7006
    @Nomathemba_7006 10 днів тому +3

    In our communities, especially in the Black community, we often feel an obligation to protect our families, even when certain family members exhibit toxic behavior. We justify it in the name of love, loyalty, or tradition, as though the sanctity of family absolves harm. This conditioning can keep us trapped in cycles of pain, silence, and enabling behaviors. It’s time to reframe what protecting family truly means-prioritizing accountability, healing, and boundaries over blind loyalty. True love for our families includes breaking generational patterns that no longer serve us.

  • @Mss_Muthoni
    @Mss_Muthoni 10 днів тому +4

    Most mums are very harsh to their daughters even when they work hard to change their situation at home but baby their sons even when the son is old and doesnt bring anything to the table.

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 10 днів тому

      🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Hey 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

  • @noncebajonase9069
    @noncebajonase9069 10 днів тому +6

    Bathi uBrenda owavusa ikhaya but today abasamfuni

  • @Blessed_for_life_2023
    @Blessed_for_life_2023 9 днів тому +1

    Yoh, nna i had to take my son to boarding school in grade 2 because my mother would hide his asthma medication when I left him at home due to my travelling. 😢My mom(a nurse) preferred to look after her favourite granddaughter because my sister was her favourite.
    She died 2016, and I don't miss her. Her favourite daughter followed in 2023. Both of them, i wasn't talking to them when they died. And I'm at peace ❤

  • @amogelangkingsley4173
    @amogelangkingsley4173 10 днів тому +2

    ❤❤❤" choose yourself first" ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @BonoloQueens
    @BonoloQueens 10 днів тому +2

    Poor brenda😢
    May she heal.

  • @lonagwegwe
    @lonagwegwe 10 днів тому +2

    This is so sad but a true definition of our entitled parents. I hope our generation learns that our kids don’t owe us anything for raising them

  • @this_is_nyeleti
    @this_is_nyeleti 11 днів тому +7

    16:11 Don’t forget that Americans (Black) aren’t also paid well. Remember Taraji and Monique

    • @cheranehlahla
      @cheranehlahla 8 днів тому

      They were fighting for fair/equal pay. They carry the show but get paid less than their male counterparts of the other race. It’s not like she isn’t getting paid it’s that there’s unfairness in the work vs pay ratio

  • @princessdiana9742
    @princessdiana9742 10 днів тому +1

    I saw a clip on FB and guess what???? I ran here!!!! You serve us Queen, i knew I'd find something 😅🤞🏽🤲❤️
    Brenda was on McG sometime last year explaining her employment status- obviously unemployed nd said something about farming! U girl should hav bought her own house, in as much as she needed a sense of belonging, yes going home was ideal but not on a permanent basis_ it should have been about visiting and going back to her house- people are so quick to forget, what you've done for them when things were still going welll for you BUT when tables turn unfortunately no one will be willing to return or reciprocate the favor, its sad yoo! 😢😢😢😢💔

  • @Kaykay12379-n
    @Kaykay12379-n 11 днів тому +12

    I was shocked when they Khanya said they never got paid for “the ultimatum” show that aired on Netflix 🙂‍↔️
    Worse they had to purchase their own food

    • @lettienahole
      @lettienahole 10 днів тому +1

      Unfortunately the ultimatum is a different type of show. People don't get paid for such reality TV shows. That's why the contestants apply. The concept is to help couples decide if they should get married, stay, or break up. Khanya should have not applied if she didn't understand. It wasn't an acting gig.

  • @ChuneMphahlele
    @ChuneMphahlele 9 днів тому +1

    I identified with everything you Said on this!! It's like you were speaking out of my mouth my sister.. I saw this video and it triggered me in a very intense way... toxic parents get away with a lot simply because they are older... Wishing Brenda a healthy detachment from this environment for her and her child's sanity and peace. Yes actors are the worst exploited in this country..the worst

  • @aphiwejembula6868
    @aphiwejembula6868 11 днів тому +4

    Owami is spitting facts 🙌🏾

  • @maijaiipinge-vk1gq
    @maijaiipinge-vk1gq 11 днів тому +3

    Ninja signing in ❤

  • @ThandieKhivaNgonzo
    @ThandieKhivaNgonzo 11 днів тому +9

    Yhooooooo guys u can say your options kodwa mna as someone who's friends with B Sana kwakukudala ethule Thina we know ba u Dabs u toxic Shem kwakunini u B e bottled lento yhoooo haaaha Sana uguga kwakubi Shem.... uxolo shlobo Sam Amma pray for u and Dabawo...kuzagqitha maarni am just worried about u bby Skyzozo😭

    • @LukeRev480
      @LukeRev480 11 днів тому +3

      I can see it. She has been threatening to derail her career for a long time. Normal parents don't do that. Brenda meantl health issues probably come from this relationship. She sounds abusive and bitter. If she has always been like this, Brenda is at her breaking point

    • @PaballoMo
      @PaballoMo 11 днів тому +2

      Can’t you give her a place to stay in the meantime?

    • @ncisept5900
      @ncisept5900 11 днів тому +2

      I hope she can get istand xa fumana enye oijob, she can build for herself and baby Sky even if indlu is not a mansion. So that ezohlukana nayo yonke lento

    • @TrancendFear
      @TrancendFear 10 днів тому +3

      Please ask her to start a UA-cam channel. She can talk about anything or even eb a silent blog about her days where we just watch. We will support her.

    • @proudlysa774
      @proudlysa774 10 днів тому

      ​@@LukeRev480true

  • @joycephakathi9365
    @joycephakathi9365 10 днів тому +2

    Yoh ngimthandan uBrenda😢

  • @bulelwaxawuka8806
    @bulelwaxawuka8806 7 днів тому

    Agree with you Owamie 💯 black tax is real and it is affecting us. Young black South Africans are struggling financially because of such issues. Fam will guilt trip you to a point that you find yourself deep in debts because you trying to accommodate everyone that needs your help. And wow, our actors and actresses are really really struggling its heartbreaking whilst the producers are rolling on millions and shutting down doors for the vocal actors - so sad!💔 And this will be a bitter black producer that's closing doors for another black man/woman to deliberately watch that person struggle, why are we doing this to each other?? Buphi ubuntu? Brenda is one talented soul and SHE WILL RAISE!

  • @TebohoMonyamane
    @TebohoMonyamane 10 днів тому

    Owamie ur onpoint mi love we need to fill up our cups first for us to be able to pour for our parents am with u 💯 ❤

  • @MaggieModika
    @MaggieModika 10 днів тому +2

    This issue of parents is hurting even if you can make them happy they will never appreciate....

  • @pakisosakunda9823
    @pakisosakunda9823 11 днів тому +5

    Really sad😢

  • @Kgothatso_Lenkopane
    @Kgothatso_Lenkopane 10 днів тому +5

    This is so sad and children are always labeled "rebellious and disrespectful " blah blah but fact Is there are mothers who are toxic and loveeeeee playing victim.

  • @queenvhutshilo820
    @queenvhutshilo820 10 днів тому

    Mey our good Lord intervene in her situation,sending hugs and love to her❤

  • @yoniem9835
    @yoniem9835 11 днів тому +5

    It's sad 😢

  • @maveebiekies270
    @maveebiekies270 8 днів тому

    I had a conversation with my mother when I was 21. I told her that I love her wholeheartedly but she must always remember that I am going to put myself and my family (kids and husband one day if I get blessed enough with my own family) first. She will always matter to me and I will help where I can but I told her to ensure that she works hard to secure herself for retirement. We came up with plans and she started a BnB while she was also a teacher. We've managed to ensure that she is secured for the future so that I don't have problems when she's an elder. I am the only child and no one prepares you to deal with the trauma of helping your parent alone while also having a career and family far from home e.g being in Joburg/ Cape Town while your parent is in North West or in the villages. It's a constant conversation and sometimes she gets worried and tells me that she hopes I don't abandan her. I reassure her that I won't but she must never be entitled to my success. The only thing I owe her is appreciation and love. Done.

  • @lesegos4839
    @lesegos4839 8 днів тому

    Thanks Owami, for opening my eyes

  • @paballopilane921
    @paballopilane921 10 днів тому +2

    I believe the issue of people not being paid enough applies across the board in SA even the corporate/government jobs. People don’t get paid what they’re worth and most blacks faces black tax. The only difference between entertainers and an everyday person with a normal job is that the person with a normal job has more job security and they have a consistent income. The other thing is that everyday jobs lead to people having pension funds so when they retire they are sorted but celebrities probably don’t save towards retirement. Their industry is very unsustainable both in the short term and long term which is very unfortunate

  • @lelethunokwe578
    @lelethunokwe578 10 днів тому +1

    Well articulated Owamie ❤

  • @selinamasilela
    @selinamasilela 11 днів тому +6

    That's true the child must not give her all salary we must think for them...mina I'm grateful for what my daughters are giving me i aways appreciate..i thank them all the time❤❤❤them

  • @tryphineshumba1181
    @tryphineshumba1181 10 днів тому +2

    we also need to acknowledge the need for fathers to step up, where is he father of Brenda's child to assist her with childcare?

  • @lussylupindo1093
    @lussylupindo1093 11 днів тому +4

    This is so heartbreaking 💔

    • @monicasilwane7718
      @monicasilwane7718 11 днів тому

      And you look exactly like Sis Brenda wena Lussy. You literally have the same face

    • @lussylupindo1093
      @lussylupindo1093 11 днів тому

      @ I get that alot 😂🤍Hun thank you so much