Why the US Military Has a 26-Page Brownie Recipe
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- Опубліковано 24 вер 2020
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Video written by Adam Chase
Check out my other channel: / wendoverproductions Written by Adam Chase @adamhchase
You know what's even longer than this brownie recipe? The list of HAI topic suggestions from viewers like you, but since we're such a content machine, we still need more! Therefore, be part of our mission to become one of the least ethical big-tech companies around and suggest us new topics and, as a tiny, meaningless reward, we'll ship you a free HAI t-shirt if we use your suggestion: docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfUdlvw6YgU44J8AnM2U_ZvRMyvh_CUM51LYSqF5nYJB9d1-w/viewform?usp=sf_link
How dare you diss menu 7
Bricks please
The Variation of the topics this channel covers is also larger than the brownie recipe, for better or worse.
Hey man, thanks for the content, my great grandfather just died and this is helping
That TSA joke at 4:29 was awesome. 🤣🤣🤣
I’m not going to lie.
When you said you couldn’t tell us the whole recipe, I 100% expected parts of it to be classified.
The military doesn't want their secret weed brownies getting out do they?
So did I. I wouldn't be surprised if they had a mega-classified cookie recipe though.
I also thought so. I fully expected him to give us the whole recipe.
It's not their recipe, it's the recipe you have to follow if you want to sell them brownies. If it was classified, bidders couldn't make it.
FML, care to support your opinion with actual arguments?
Or were you just being rude?
You'll never get my 9,001 page kimchi recipe
Supreme Leader, when are you going to take over the world?
Can I get it then, o Supreme Leader?
This recipe is over 9000(pages)!
Obligatory "its over 9000" joke, alright imma head out now
Most of the pages are the many ways you need to honor the Supreme Leader to ensure it is properly blessed.
Correction: I've talked to a few vets who have recounted fighting over the brownies, they aren't bad. I've also seen a few posts online from service members recounting their battles... of trying to snag the tastiest MRE.
During the siege at Khe Sanh the soldiers would trade strawberry shortcake rations for almost anything they had to give away, apparently.
When you've spent time in a desert fighting the same militants you trained a decade ago......anything with flavour will look good.
why would veterinarians fight over them ?
Most of the bad names associated with mre’s appear to be from people who have never tried them. They aren’t amazing, but I would eat one if offered.
If you had the option between the tastiest MRE and any other MRE, you'd fight over it too. Well, unless you got one of the few that actually comes out the other side, then you just tough it out.
"14 to 16 grams per square inch"... Bloody hell America, sort yourself out.
Give us a nanometer, we'll take a league, because if we're in for a farthing we're in for a yen.
In everything official, the military uses metric just to make sure there's no confusion when working with other countries.
@@EinsteinsBarber I think most people can guesstimate an inch
@@bigsquatch I promise, we are not that organized. The Technical Order for the CTM 15 is in feet
What the fuck!?that's so odly specific where did it say that??
"SARGE WE NEED THE TACTICAL BROWNIE!"
"I'M ONLY ON PAGE 2 YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT A FEW MINUTES!"
"Or... A few hours"
Though that may seem funny, the reality is that we (as in the guys in the field) are obviously not making these brownies; some company in Illinois is pumping these things out.
@@JakobTheCenturion I was under the impression they were a US Army fruitcake. As in having no known origin and likely regifted.
RAMAIREZ! STIR THAT FLOUR WITH THE WHISK AT A 35 DEGREE ANGLE AT ROOM TEMPERATURE!
@@54lolman "next time on baking with Foley"
"Basically, it’s the same color guideline the TSA uses for people."
I haven't seen a burn that intense since the last gender reveal party.
Sooo not that long ago?
too soon
Noice
booooo
What even is the internet
Two friends of mine said MRE means "Meals Ready to Excrete."
Having been given a few by them, I can attest that is a good description.
There are some moderately good ones that they've been holding out on you. Spaghetti with meatballs is pretty good, so are any of the cheese tortellini, and chilimac is pretty much everybody's favourite
Which is funny, given that after a month or so they'll become meals rarely excretable.
I dunno.. Some really don't want out.
In India, Soldiers are trained to eat whatever you see crawling nearby.
That is what the included laxative gum is for. *shrug*
An additional caveat to the length and extremely specific nature to writing directions to be used in production. The goal to writing directions for mass production is so that the least capable employee can produce the most consistent results - assuming directions were explicitly followed. In an undergrad class for product development, we had to write instructions for brushing your teeth to be given and followed by a class mate, the instructions were to be followed as though you understood English and could follow directions very literally, and nothing more. The shortest A grade in the class was like 3 pages, and still operated on ‘too many assumptions’.
I did a similar assignment in middle school, but describing the contents and assembly of a sandwich, we then gave our papers to partners who were to explicitly follow the directions for our lunch for thr next day. Unfortunately I failed to reference something detailing standards for can-opening and so recieved bread and sealed cans of tuna. That was a bummer.
In Soviet Army existed for absolute real instructions to use spoon and a toilet. With very specific explanations, what exactly spoon and toilet are. That a spoon consists of an oval or circular scooping depression, a handle, and a connector, and so forth.
This was so specific because in that time they received a lot of conscripts from distant settlements that have never seen a toilet in their life, and as for the spoon - it's exactly for the same reason you describe, so that anyone could basically create a spoon without any sort of confusion, feigned or real, on what exactly is a spoon.
Speaking as someone who's seen a lot of red tape in their job, there's a reason for the saying "regulations are written in blood". If it a rule looks way too obvious, it's because someone already broke it multiple times.
Seriously the fact that you have to test brownies for rodent infestation basically guarantees that someone got rat shit in their MRE more than once. Idiot-proof is a lot harder to achieve than you think.
Did a similar exercises in my first programming class in highschool because the computer will do exactly what you program
We did something like that in 4th grade. We were supposed to write instructions for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in full sentences and paragraphs.
Then the teacher would make himself a sandwich based on your instructions
We got plenty of half-made sandwiches with full jars of peanut butter in them (taken apart again before doing the next one), lots of jelly on the outer bag of the bread, and generally a large mess made with lots of laughing from the 8 and 9 year olds.
“mr president, they’ve found the brownie recipe”
“dear god, we’re all fucked”
Say goodbye to mutually assured destruction and say hello to Mutually assured brownie
@@samstuff8554 We at Brownie Insurance are ready to help you after reading this 26 long page that shows you how to make our official brownie.
LMFAOO that got me giggling
No one asked you stop talking my boy joe trades nft
theres more
MRE’s are actually really good at keeping hackers out. I mean, have you ever heard of an MRE being hacked?
That's because not even hackers want them.
I have and it was with a saw.
I think they also use bricks for buildings because of a similar reason, they are hacker proof and each individual brick is shipped with in box cyber defenses like L.O.E.C (lack of electronic components) and B.R.I.C.K security features
Good profile picture.
Oh man, I read your comment before I got to the end of the video and I was like: "What the *hell* is this video about?" :D
The broken down MRE you showed at 3:30 - Menu 10: Chili Mac is actually very good, no better nor worse than canned Chef Boyardee.
That said, some of the menus are truly, truly hauntingly awful; The Menu 4: Cheese and veggie omelet is something you would rather starve yourself than consume.
Omelet and maple sausage patty were the worst mres I've had
@@thepurpleplayer9168 Maple sausage is good. I’ve tried a lot… almost all I think except discontinued ones like the vomlette and a few others I’ve heard about. I’m still young. So far I’ve had maybe 1 or 2 bad ones. My first one ever was spaghetti.
@@capitalismsucks9590 I have a maple sausage patty, I really hope it’s good lol
@@buttnuttz6119 It is
My first MRE was a cold Cheese and Veggie Omelet, I had less than 5 minutes to scarf down before a range in Basic. It was bad, but since I ate it so quickly, I didn't taste it much. Later on in Iraq, I got the vomelet again, but I had time to "savor" it. It was the worst MRE; even the vegetarian ones were far superior. I would wind up getting the last MRE in the case, but rarely was I allowed to open a new case to get a Chili Mac, or something redeemable.
My uncle brought me some MREs when he got out of the military and they aren't THAT bad.
It's basically on par with any canned/frozen meal you'd buy for cheap. Stay away from stuff that wouldn't be good if it was coming out of a can.
Noone should expect instant meatloaf to be good but you can't go wrong with what is basically a lunchables pizza.
If you've never eaten an MRE you'd be legitimately surprised how absolutely decent they are.
They're very aggressively standard. That's all that can really be said about them.
@@Illegiblescream wait till you get your hands on Singapore's MREs. They make American ones look and taste good.
They are basically boxed meals, I’ve payed money for worse out of the supermarket.
Veggie omelet is nasty as fuck though lmao
Chili mac, meal 10 for the win!
"Basically the same colour guide the TSA uses for people"
Bruh, I just about spit out my coffee.
Lmao that was the only joke that made me wholeheartedly laugh on this channel.
Shots fired, shots fired!
TIL TSA likes red people better than black people. And dark grey people are just OK.
@@TheMohawkNinja "better red than dead"... due to racism
Why, what color was your coffee?
“If the circle inside is lighter than the ring itself, the food is good! If it’s the same color, the food is most likely good. If it’s darker, the food is bad. Basically, it’s the same color guide the TSA uses for people.”
That was the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a joke on this channel.
it earned a sub from me
I don't get it. I've never been on an airplane.
@@aaphule His comment had nothing to do with flying.
It was a comment on Usanian racism.
Some of the modern MREs are actually pretty tasty. Slippy Joe's, macaroni and chili, and spaghetti with meat chunks are my favorites. The almond poppyseed pound cake and cornbread are also tasty. Vanilla dairy shakes are great mixed with rum
*cough* sleepy joe
I take it you’ve “had some rum on hand” when you needed it?
@@FrozenBusChannel slippy sleepy sloppy Joe, lol
@@anthonychilders9549 yes. One should always have rum on hand
ALWAYS chew the gum! Its a laxative
MRE brownies aren't actually as bad as this video makes them sound, they're just dry and crumbly.
which is exactly horrible for a brownie. just horrible in a gordon ramsay way, not inedible
Which, while great for longevity here on earth, is bad for space missions. So the Space Force would need to eat MREs that are more like what regular astronauts eat all the time, except with higher longevity. Basically, Earth MREs, but waaaaay less crumbly (since crumbs are the last thing you'd want in a space vessel, asides from pathogens).
I like my brownies dry.
Nathan Gamble me too
I like my brownies like that
MRE’s aren’t actually that bad as most people say they are
It just depends entirely on what MRE you get
Some people love certain ones while universally despising the rest
I can definitely say MREs go hard af my favorite one is meatballs in marinara one lol
Any one of them is instantly made better with the jalapeño cheese sauce
No, people hate certain ones less.
They get worse the more you eat consecutively. After a month it gets pretty fucking old.
@@orion8981 yeah, eating one here or there isn’t bad, six months though? They get pretty terrible, plus side you only need to use the head twice a week.
menu # 4 and # 8 top tier.
I no joke absolutely LOVE MRE's, my uncle brought me one as a kid and I never stopped annoying him to bring me more. I was surprised to learn people don't like them
The black beans one is actually fantastic
There are some good ones
As a grown European, I like kinder surprise eggs.... The chocolate is horrible and the toys mediocre. I don't really like them, I like the childhood memories.
You don't really like MRE's, you attached childhood memories to them.
Glad to help 🤪
I was in AJROTC my first year of highschool (then I moved and my new school didn't have ROTC), and we had a camping trip where we got MREs for lunch. The quality of the Meals Ready to Eat is, while not a home-cooked meal made with fresh ingredients, nowhere near as terrible as most people seem to think. Provided you follow the included instructions, you can make a decent meal out of a single MRE package, and a standard-issue one quart canteen of water. Generally, you put a bit of your water into a water-activated heat pack, heat the food, and eat it. It provides all the nutrition you need, is easy to carry and store, and lasts for between three and a half years, though they are usually eaten within six months to a year.
The reason why MREs get such a bad rep is because, when you are deployed, that is your lunch, every day, for months. Some flavors are better than others, and those generally get eaten first, so by the end of the crate you are stuck with the worst flavors that can only barely be favorably compared to cardboard.
"Meal, Ready to Eat", which, as Tom Clancy once pointed out, is three lies for the price of one.
They're a good way to simulate what it's like to have opiate- stomach.
That's such a good joke.
Which book was that again? Pretty sure it was one of the Splinter Cell ones
I am pretty sure that that was Ding Chavez talking to one of his 11 Bravo compatriots in _Clear and Present Danger_. I've never read any of the apostrophe books, they weren't up to my standards for fiction. :-)
MREs are delicious.
"It's the same color guide that the TSA uses for people"
Oh my
The worst part is that it’s true
Say...... WHAT?????
Couldn’t be more true, I’ve had my laptop taken apart to check if there was a bomb in it. Like bruh, I’m a college student that failed chemistry and is getting a degree in literature.
I heard that and i just stopped and was like. Wait we just gonna skip past that remark???
I thought in his Wendover video on airport security, he said the TSA didn't use racial profiling (or at least, not to the extent that the Israelis do).
About the MRE thing, I can't help to think about what Tom Paxton sang in "Talking Vietnam"
"A lovely dinner they planned for us
With a taste like a seat on a crosstown bus.
Some of the veterans left theirs in the cans
For the Viet Cong to find. . .
Deadlier than a land mine."
(it's not in Ochs ' original version)
If anyone's interested in making this, I've distilled the recipe into something more kitchen-friendly:
Brownie ingredients
184 g sugar
168 g flour
134.4 g copha (or butter)
128 g nuts (almonds and/or pecans and/or walnuts), chopped into small pieces
2 large eggs
44 g cocoa
35.2 g dextrose, anhydrous (glucose syrup)
0.24 g salt
1. Whip eggs in large bowl on high speed until light and fluffy
2. Combine sugars, cocoa, salt, and leavening; add to beaten eggs, and whip on high speed until thick
3. Add copha slowly while mixing on low speed
4. Scrape bowl and whip on high speed until thick
5. Mix flour, nuts and flavours together and fold into batter; mix until uniform
6. Pour into pan
7. Bake at 177 C for 30-45 mins
8. Cover with uniform chocolate coating
Coating ingredients
64 g cocoa powder
96 g nonfat dry milk
240 g butter
1.6 g egg yolk
388 g sugar
1 g salt
0.5 g vanilla extract
Heat together at 67 C for 30 mins
Cut coated brownie into rectangles 3.5 in (8.89 cm) by 2.5 in (6.35 cm) by 5/8 in (1.588 cm)
How oddly specific. They do sound pretty tasty, though. If only baked until gooey, that is.
Thank you! I'm surprised the video didn't spend any time on the actual recipe at all.
The specification of the eggs is interesting as it still doesn't seem to actually specify to use chicken eggs. Unless of course some of the other referenced guidelines include that specification
I genuinely read the whole thing to see it I could use pigeon eggs and still be on point. I can.
mosquito eggs
The CFR it references applies to chicken eggs. One of the things you learn reading military documentation is that a single numerical reference incorporates the entire published standard. I once had a 100-page contract that was over 15,000 pages when you considered what it incorporated by single numerical references, and what was incorporated into those documents by reference. In one extreme case, a document went 5 references deep.
*proceeds to dump a can of caviar into brownie batter*
@@matthewchristovich Yeah that sounds about right as to what I expected. 5 refs deep is pretty crazy though
When I was in high school, I had a business selling MRE's. I'd sell them to all the outdoors people I knew (they're good for hikes) and to some doomsday preppers. They actually aren't that bad, unless you're in the military and that's all you have to eat for a while.
The UK ones aren't bad for a night or 2 but yeah you do not want to live off them!
@@franciswaters7043 do they still contain biscuits brown?
Yeah, in high school I had a cooking class and we had tried those. They were really good, but if that is all you eat you will get sick of it.
They're great for music festivals too. I always grab a box before going to one. The biggest positive is that I don't have to take a crap in a porta potty the entire weekend haha
Where did you even find MREs cheap enough? Most military MREs I see are like $10 per package, too pricey for me
MRE is Mr. E...mystery. If you don’t like them, you just aren’t hungry enough. 😇
As somebody in the Army, modern MRE's actually aren't that bad. It's just kind of an outdated joke that we keep around. While there are certain ones that I won't touch with a 15 foot pole (looking at you Creamy Spinach Fettuccine), most are actually decent, or dare I say, good. There was even a time in training when we were being served field chow (cafeteria food that's been put into travel containers to be served where ever the unit is) but the Drill Sergeants said we weren't gonna have enough for everybody and that they need 10 volunteers to eat MRE's, and almost all of the remaining fifty people volunteered.
"meals rejected by everyone" steve1989 would like a talk
only if the meal is at least 50 years old and possibly rancid
The dude tried to eat emergency rations from the Boer War. I'm not sure his taste buds are fully functional anymore
@@chrthiel It isn't his taste buds I'm worried about.
mmmkay
SteveMRE1989
Normal people: Join the army to help the nation.
Us, wise viewers of Half as Interesting: Join the army to learn how to bake brownies.
The recipe isn’t for Army cooks. Theirs are probably delicious. It’s for Government contractors who supply the Army.
The Army cooks can make some good food. Unlike the air force.
@@menachemdavid3535 Our army's rations are surprisingly good with lots of national brands everybody can recognize. Instant +15 bonus to morale.
@@menachemdavid3535 Bruh air force gets civilian contractors who are always damn good as far as ive seen. Im not sure the air force even has its own enlisted cooks.
to not make your (future)kids obese
3:10 Or my favorite: "MRE three lies for the price of one".
1:53 Lol when you said it explains eggs over 6 pages, I assumed they would explain what is the function of the egg in the recipe, and any suitable substitute for it, so the meal is capable of being made in situations of austerity or low supplies - not that they actually have 6 pages of specs of what kind of color shape and granulation the egg should be.
Wait a minute, this isn’t about bricks.
It’s about an MRE brownie. It’s *definitely* about bricks.
@@NemoLafond didn't get the joke
mohit halder hmmmm
@@mohithalder3169 the brownies in the thumbnail look almost like bricks
The brownies are horrible MRE food so they’re probably brick like
‘Meals rejected by Ethiopia’
That’s actually pretty funny
That's the one my dad referred to most often. That and meals ready to excrete
ok bauhmer
@@danielbickford3458 I remember em being called Meals Rarely Edible
@@danielbickford3458 1qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq
Meals Rejected by the Enemy is other option
I was in the USAF. MREs were amazing. Everyone I've talked to who's had MREs agreed with me that they were awesome. We've talked about where we can buy more. I don't have any idea what MREs people have been eating that were gross.
Same then again I once had my diet for 6 months be 80% top ramen due to a natural disaster MRE's at least have variety...
Veggie and Cheese Omlettes probably. I've heard that one was really bad.
I love how you managed to make your video resemble the recipe: Both get to the baking part after one third. The rest is HAI.
Russia: we have military grade tanks
America: we have military grade brownies
What would a non military grade tank be?
By the way, military grade just means "good enough to get the job done".
@@doubtful_seer This: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Semple_tank
@@carlramirez6339 ,ah yes,the only tank that could pass for a civilian tractor or a boulder if you were drunk enough
@@carlramirez6339 how about the killdozer
*HAI:* "Meals Rejected by Everyone"
*Steve1989 and every UA-camr reviewing MREs:* dafuq
let's get this out onto a tray
nice
_Am I a joke to you?_
*Inserts drink mixing music*
I was just thinking about emmymadeinjapan the whole time
@@cheesychio8317 Yeah, to be honest, me too. The one video that drew my attention to MREs was the one she made about Polish MRE
I contracted for the US Air Force for a year or two... they do indeed document everything to the nth degree. I actually enjoyed that, and took that experience to future jobs in the IT field. It may seem excessive, but lots of documentation is better than none at all.
Damn, only 72 hours are allowed between pasteurization and use in the recipe? Eggs last a lot longer than that...
The recipe actually being written in the format of a federal standard spec sheet is the best thing I've ever seen.
4:40 Who made this chart? Why did they put the dependent variable on the horizontal axis? Why is it a bar chart? The world may never know.
IMPERFECT GRAPHS DESERVE LOVE TOO
@@halfasinteresting it hurts my brain
Half as Interesting
Science & Math teacher go BONK
someone in grade school told them that the time always goes on the bottom
@@halfasinteresting I think there's a difference between imperfect graphs and graphs that are just bad. Just like how there's a difference between imperfect UA-camrs and Half as Interesting
This feels similar to the International Standard Cup of Tea that Tom Scott made.
HAI did too
Now we need to convince Tom Scott to make US Military Brownies
MRE recipes are first and foremost, contracting documents. The sad truth is that is what it takes to keep most contractors reasonably honest. Even then, it doesn't always work. You made a fair shot at the point that MREs are designed to be combat rations -- to keep you functioning under some of the worst conditions possible. In case you hadn't noticed, Door Dash et al do not normally deliver in combat zones, so as much as you might prefer a fresh Danish from your favorite bakery, I guarantee it would be pretty sad by the time it got to Fallujah (or more recently, somewhere in the woods in Poland).
You know, the fact they have specification actually didn't blow my mind. It's perfectly normal for something mass produced to have multiple page of recipe. What blows me away is that we didn't have the answer to third question yet.
While salt is hydrophilic the word you're looking for is hygroscopic: water-absorbing.
Thank you.
Doesn't Hydrophilic mean water loving ?
@@clothar23 Literally yes, but technically it means that it mixes with or dissolves in water.
@@maerlon101 Wait so I have been misusing the term soluble my whole life ?
@@clothar23 Dunno if you've been using that word incorrectly. If something is readily soluble in water it is hydrophillic. But if something isn't readily soluble in water it is hydrophobic. If it's soluble in oil then that's another thing entirely.
I thought those were bricks in the thumbnail. Disappointed
The taste and feel should be pretty similar to bricks
I recently revealed the genders of my two girlfriends. It got a lot of hate and now has 30 times more dislikes than likes. I am really sad that people can be so mean. Sorry for using your comment to talk about my problems, dear pin
AxxL everyone has heard your crap. Stop trying to get views from someone else’s comment.
lmao
As someone who was in the Canadian Air Cadets, I can say that MRE's (That look identical to the ones in this video, but might be different, IDK,) very WILDLY in quality. I distinctly remember loving and saving the brownies, making trades with other Cadets, and some meals being universally hated by everyone. Would definitely have MRE's again.
someone brought a bunch of MREs to my cooking class in school and honestly I loved them. i’ve had the brownies too. not great but edible. I even brought several home
The Army: One of the most important thing a soldier can be is flexible.
Also The Army: We can only make brownies ONE WAY! All other ways are unacceptable!
Flexibility is for the soldiers, not for the brass
@@kyovalye5942 I think in the case of food that gets stored for years and then handed out to thousands of people who really don't have the capacity to deal with digestive diseases, a bit of pedantry is a good thing. :)
@@Kenionatus Which is funny because the sugar free gum is a damn good way to get the shits.
@@clothar23 pretty sure the gum is supposed to give you the shits. Besides everybody knows to avoid the gum of death so if you played yourself that's on you
@@clothar23 Well yeah that's the point. The rest of the MRE is designed to be somewhat constipating so people don't get the squirts out in the field, and if that becomes an issue you use the gum to counteract it.
Imagine classifying a document that is 26 pages long, is almost too specific, and it's not even for the tastiest brownie ever.
In that case, a tasty brownie should be a 500 page long recipe.
...and I bet the sub-contractors who make the brownies charge the army $50 bucks each, because some former general sits on the board of directors and money printer go brrrrrrrrr
@Anant Tiwari yes, it was. MREs are especifically intended to, and I quote "be as tasty as a boiled potato", because they are EMERGENCY rations only to be used if needed for survival, so they intentionally make sure no one would want to eat them unless they are starving.
Also fun fact: reason they're just "not tasty" as opposed to "actually foul" is there is studies proving that past a certain point people will find anything tasty (and as someone that's done some pretty extreme diets I can confirm, when you're starving everything tastes good) so they decided it wasn't worth the price making it taste even worse.
State bureaucracy in a nutshell, everyone. If torturing people gets results, then fuck the side effects.
That TSA joke was probably the best joke you've ever made
"basically, its the same colour guide that the tsa uses for people"
HAI: “MRE’s taste bad”
Steve MRE: “I can’t believe you’ve done this”
Let's get this out onto a tray.... NICE!
Is that instant type II coffee? Nice
LongDanzi everyone knows orange type 3 is the best for your canteen
Yeah, modern mre's aren't that bad
You said my name?
I've heard MREs referred to as "Meals Ready to Exit" due to their effect on the digestive system
"Meals Ratified by wEndover productions" is an alternative expansion
They aren't ready to exit. After 2 MREs and 1 hot meal a day for a week, I (and everybody else) spent the next week constipated.
Can confirm, they are _not_ ready to exit.
@jacob peetz No, not you haven’t heard that. U just made that up.
Yea constipation was hell
"And multiple paragraphs explaining what eggs are"
Ah, the most important part of a military brownie ration recipe.
I loved the way they taste. If I could afford to buy military MREs sense I've been out of service, I would.
"The same color guide the TSA uses" made me laugh
MREs are bad, here's some cadet recipes to make them better:
Field mocha: two instant coffees and a hot chocolate powder
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich: peanut butter packet, grape jelly, and wheat snack bread (or tortilla)
Bear juice: every fruit beverage powder mixed into one shot, taken to induce cardiac arrest
Apple maple oatmeal + tortilla is a lifesaver. Makes it much more palatable.
Chocolate chip cookie + peanut butter is also a great option
If you've ever wondered what it feels like to have your intestines dried out like cat gut cello strings, just eat 3 wheat snack breads and no water.
Bon appétit
Thanks for the MRE hacks, although I think the mocha is better with a couple packets of non-dairy creamer.
Back when dinosaurs ruled the Earth (and I tried to get more than two stripes), we would do "C-ration stew" - every entree we could gather, every packet of ketchup we had brought from a fast-food joint, some hot sauce (Tabasco, preferably) and condiments as desired. Stir it up in a clean steel helmet over a small fire, and you had either a delicious meal or a total disaster. Bon appetit and bonne chance!
I'm curious about "Bear Juice". How'd it get that name? And why would anyone induce cardiac arrest on themselves?
@@audiomanwithaudioplan964 Cardic Arrest beats fire watch or night patrol.
@@clothar23 Aye, fair enough.
so glad u posted this vitil info!
The US MRE is not that bad tasting honestly, even more so when compared to other countries MRE's but they actually cause a lot of diarrhea or constipation depending on who you ask. We usually call them meal ready to exit or meal refusing to exit, never heard personnally about the other nicknames.
My dad’s favorite is, “Meals Ready to Expel.”
More like not Expel
Oh that's not true at all. In fact, after two weeks of MRE's you won't be expelling anything until you get some castor oil in you, and even then it will have *corners* on it and your behind will slam shut like an old screen door when you are done.
@@Cee64E drink the coffee. It's the antidote for the spread.
@@StrokeMahEgo, I always found a Beef & Bean burrito off the gut-truck to be the best cure, but you had to wait until the field problem was over.
E x c e l
It's because they can legally invade anyone's country if the country creates their own brownie recepie
THEY ARE AMAZING, I’ve had them and the brownies in MREs are the best thing about them
this man put all his points in charisma and editing
amazing
“This is how you make brownies in the military”
Shows chocolate cake
Bread Dough for Firmness, Madeline for Woman Eating, Yeet for Distance, Kobe for Accuracy.
Cakey brownies
I mean the MRE brownie is more or less a chocolate cake in it's consistency
I really don't mind most MRE's.
However, there is a special place in hell for the guy who thought the 'Veggie Omlet' was a good MRE idea.
I hear it was called vomelet for a reason
@@fangabxyfangabxy8563 you must know someone that sampled such a delicacy.
Very Angry Citizen heard of it online. Lots of people like taste testing MREs and I think “vomelet” was thrown somewhere
In Basic we had that one guy who would eat anything including the vomelet!
Chili Mac. It remains unchallenged as the best among the worst food the military has to offer.
Background Music at the start is Edgar Hopp - Army of Angels
Right after watching this video I went and got a pdf of the recipe, I'm gonna try it out as soon as I can.
"Which is too boring even for our channel"
DAYM
I wanna see how Gordon Ramsay reacts to this brownie recipe.
Mre’s taste great, the one exception is the vegetarian omelet. The real secret is knowing what parts to heat and which parts to eat cold. It isnt the same for every meal either. Also some of the deserts are better when swapped around to different meals than they come with.
After hurricane Maria hit, they sent us a ton of MREs & I got to try like 10 different varieties of them. The pasta options are "edible", the tuna one is an actual packet of starkist tuna & shredded beef was actually quite nice. Still looking to try a taco one & the pizza slice in the future.
I mean the US Airforce did accidentally drop tootsie rolls during the Korean War because the soldiers codenamed the drop “Tootsie Roll”
And it actually turned to be a blessing in disguise!
They gave those rolls so many uses, they ended up congratulating whoever made the mistake.
If my memory serves, the Marines at the Chosin reservoir, who fighting off waves of Chinese soldiers, were desperately short of mortar rounds (code name being Tootsie Rolls) which led the to obvious confusion and miscommunication.
Apparently the tootsie rolls were used not only as snacks, but were malleable and thick enough they could use them to plug up bullet holes on vehicles and other things
MrPancakes and frozen pipes, apparently
This comment deserves a video, not by hai though but wendover, because planes
I don't want to know what happens when an artilleryman accidentily misunderstands "nuts, walnuts, shelled".
4:28 accurate
I hope I'm not the only one overthinking that part
@@Racko. he's saying the tsa is racist I think
Some are good.. joined Army in 2012 and definitely ate some MREs produced in 90s.
I love shelled walnut pieces of the small piece size classification
It sounds to me like someone was assigned to write a 8-page paper,
But it wasn't written in good taste, so...
...they added a disclaimer. 😂
Let me guess, the brownie had oil, they invaded and took the oil, and now the brownie recipe is under new management?
Avery the Cuban-American You mean “restored freedom”. 😂
The freeze dried turkey tetrazzini in the cold weather MCWs is top notch.
loved mine during my service, the powered energy drink was basically speed ! the spag and tuna cassorole was 10/10
1:04 they literally misspelled chocolate in the title as “cocolate” 😂
nobody can write that word
US Military: 26 pages on how to make a Brownie. Russia: "don't forget the Vodka!!"
Russians don't need to eat much their fueled by pure communism with the occasional potato
Ok but I've eaten quite a few MREs while in the scouts and while I havent needed to eat them as a rule I would actually prefer them over the alternative quite often. Maybe it was just the specific Polish MREs we ate but everyone quite liked most of what was inside
That TSA jab with color of inner circle of ring was **chef's kiss**
Breaking into Area 51 to steal America's brownie recipe...
Didn't you mean, "baking". Forget I said that 🤣
@@miguelmontenegro3520 How are you planning to bake your way into area 51? Cook the guards a lovely omelette and hope they let you through?
Ya could burn it and it'd still taste better than MREs
@@lekroc ah, r/woosh time
r/woosh
Because George Washington’s grandma wanted to keep it safe
She is a very particular woman
I accept this 100%
I wonder how many people got the shade you threw at the justice dept when you were mentioning the TTI. That was pretty good. Your jokes are always subtle but pack a literal punch lol
I'm not surprised, this isn't a recipe, this is a technical guide for an industrial food production.
That TSA joke was elite 4:17
Getting a 26 page order for a brownie
US Military chefs: Cries while cooking
They better not cry into the food. That's a violation of the cooking guidelines.
@@devaneyjohn5349 I thought thats how they add the salt
@@foty8679 Only those cooks who have followed a diet drawn around a strict limit on saline intake would be allowed to do that, methinks. Random salinity levels would be bad for estimating the longevity of the finished product otherwise.
August in Florida, 90+ degree days. Weeks without power. Sometimes the water from the faucet was a trickle and we were then under a boil water alert. We were eating plain crackers. It was too hot and steamy even at midnight to cook. Then the state set up a relief station giving out bags of ice, cases of water and MREs. Sitting on the deck a cold bottle of water in hand ten feet away MRE entrees sat heating in the heater packs. You have no idea how good that food tasted. Our roof was all blue tarped, the screen enclosure over the pool was shredded and full of bugs but we had hot food and cold drinks and all was right with the world.
Haven't had MREs since I was in boy scouts as a kid (15ish years) but I really liked them
For the Brownie chief of the biggest army.
George Washington's grandma
That username tho
@Kim Jong-un :0
Also known as Meals Refusing to Exit
Enjoyable vid, informative...thanks!
Your stock video budget must be huge!
This was a really funny episode. bravo!
As someone who is pretty proficient at making brownies from scratch, I kinda wanna make this lol
Please comment on how they taste 😂
Not advisable
Make sure you leave it at 100 F for 6 months before eating!
You mean making them or checking if they are still good after three years at room temperature?
phaub lmao making them, I’m too lazy, but it’s that kinda thing that you wonder “what if I did?”
This channel is hilarious, and informative.
That opening to this video is golden.