Because of Ascended dialogue I have been slowing leaning towards becoming an evil Durge Vampire Bride with my Vampire Lord husband... I have run 5 good Astarion runs with 4 being as a Durge. I must try the evil power couple fantasy.
Done 2 Spawn Astarion runs so far, one romanced, one not (not by choice btw, it’s just that my 22 rizz bard somehow had 0 rizz at the same time). Thinking for my third playthrough I’ll do an evil durge and ascend him so I can do a kinda sick evil power couple thing. Wish me luck!
"so its like drugs?" "IF THE DRUGS WERE ALSO ANTIDEPRESSANTS, GAVE YOU A SAFE SPACE, DID A JOB OF 3 HOURS OF THERAPY AND PAYED YOUR RENT, NO JEREMY ITS BETTER"
@@romantheboat9118Oh lord, if my Squip looked like Astarion I’d be in so much trouble but wouldn’t care xD Wouldn’t even need a big number like The Pitiful Children to get me to Squip everybody I know.
Vampire Spawn Astarion: I respect you as my equal and I am so grateful for you helping me free myself and for not letting me become the monster I lived in fear of for centuries. You helped me realize that I was enough, that I was already someone worth caring about. I will love you for all of my eternal life. Thank you. Vampire Ascendant Astarion: Oh my adorable pathetic little play-thing… Get on your knees and beg for my attention. I am going to take control of this entire world, and you, my love, will be there to see it all as my beautiful eternal consort. Now turn around and move your hair off that neck, I’m going to take all that you are until your heart stops beating.
The worst part is ascended astarion still love you in his own twisted way, like calling us treasure, shows signs that he still in there just now power hungry and manipulative
@@amief6111me neither, me neither and the followup of 'bad girl' seals it for me lol, (my wisdom is awful so I fail 90% of the time when I try to read his mind lol)
Yeah I feel both envious and bad for those who had to work on this audio. Envy because like, obviously, but also bad because can't imagine anyone walking in on them working, or them facing Neil after he gave this performance. Can definitely feel like a few had a hard time with eye contact afterwards and red faces. I sure would've 😂
Astarion could, in a single kiss, singlehandedly cure my all my ailments, chronic and debilitating diseases, mental illnesses, make my hair thicker, give me perfect 20/20 vision, pay off my dog's surgery bills, get me a house in Oregon (USA), give us universal healthcare/vision/dental/mental, make my skin glow, my toes curl and make me even more obsessed with him than i already am.
Astarion is the ULTIMATE ASMR boyfriend period. 1:33 for research purposes. Neil did not have to go this hard. it's been almost a year and i have heard these lines hundreds of times, but my ass still smirks and giggles like i haven't ever expierenced this haha.
You see I thought I was aromantic. Turns out I'm aromantic towards real life people because here I am, having a crush of the decade on literal pixels 😂😭
I would be a blushing mess at his shameless flirting. I don't get flirted with much, not even from my husband. xP Though once I got used to his vibe I'd flirt back. ALTHOUGH I might actually flirt with everyone if I got comfortable with them. The one's I'm not actually interested in fully I'd make it clear that it's just flirting for fun. Nothing more.
Sameee omggggg. My husband doesn’t flirt with me too. *sad noises* I’m a huge flirt myself, so it’s so easy to romance anyone. I don’t know how I ended up with my husband who doesn’t even know how to talk dirty 😂
Me, an arrogant pup, seeing pictures and memes of the Astarion thirst before playing the game: "He's pretty, but he's just not my type." Me after playing the game: "He is the hottest being I have ever witnessed with my own two eyeballs."
Sadly, the beginning of this isn't 'flirty' it's 'predator' Astarion. I adore Astarion, but not so much the Ascended version. Ascended Astarion uses the term 'love' insincerely. He'd never see Tav as his equal, but as something he created to be by his side while his shadow looms over everything. He makes it pretty clear in his pet names. I prefer the Astarion who is more earnest once you've won his trust. He's more genuine as he realizes he doesn't have to front you anymore. His flirting is more sincere.
I recently saw this video on youtube depicting the future of ascended astarion and tav. It's pretty heartbreaking, but I honestly think it's very realistic. I would never be able to ascend astarion... If I ever did, then I would have to rp that I don't care about him, which I just can't seem to do ^^` Here's the video btw: ua-cam.com/video/2_DHOTPYYbA/v-deo.html&ab_channel=Vesper
Also jumping in to add that becoming a true vampire (and who knows how much this quadruples when you literally exchange your soul to a King of the Nine Hells to Ascend) in DND lore means you lose your last bit of humanity/soul. They are no longer categorized as a person, like the other DND races, but as an official Monster, along with Beholders, Dragons, etc. This is also reflected when you read the writings strewn about Cazador’s castle (especially at the little altar on the side of the chamber Cazador tries to Ascend in). They imply Cazador’s own master, Vellioth, basically beat the last of his compassion, empathy, humanity out of him before making him a true vampire and drilling into him the 3 Lessons of Vampirism (one of which he taught to Cazador by having him impaled for 11 years 😰). Once you’ve lost your soul, you don’t become emotionless, but all your emotions get turned into their negative counterpart. Love becomes obsession & possessiveness, friendship becomes jealousy, etc. They seek out physical gratification for these cravings that were once softer, human emotions. So they did a very good job portraying that in Ascended Astarion. He is a smart man, & a preternatural creature that is MEANT to seduce their prey to boot. He’s manipulative as shit 😂. It’s in his nature now! And so many people are falling for it, sadly. Nothing wrong with Ascending Astarion or enjoying Ascended Astarion’s scenes/character. It’s fiction! It’s meant to be fun, to experience dangerous things in a safe context. But the amount of “Here’s Proof Ascended Astarion Actually Loves You” is…very concerning. He does have FEELINGS for Tav after he Ascends…but they are not love. He is physically incapable of it. Which isn’t his fault. But just reinforces this as his “bad” (and for me personally, extremely sad in the larger context of his trauma) ending.
My Tav became more powerful than him as a Baal spawn in charge of the Absolute 👹 whilst having complete control over him, yes I did an evil Durge playthrough
No.... you haven't been paying attention if you think that way. He mentioned one of the things he desires in life being gold, sex, revenge and power He likes to flirt and have sex. He just doesn't want to feel used and abused while at it
@@sabsain2399 If you think he means what he says early on in the game… There’s only one emotion that he’s never able to suppress in the early game: surprise, so unless he’s just been shocked/surprised by something, everything he says is a lie, including “and” and “the.”
The character is incredibly well written, and is funny as fuck. But I was a metalhead teenager in the grunge era... Back then, those pickup lines were considered the most obviously insincere, lame and desperate attempts of the edgiest kid to a quick shag... 😅 I could never do his romance route, not even for a loose bet... 😂
I haven’t played through to that point yet so I’m not sure of which specific lines of dialogue you have to choose, but I believe it happens after you ascend Astarion and agree to one last “night of passion” before becoming his spawn.
The subtitles made me think "thank god, they didn't dub the game with German voice actors", then I wondered what kind of disaster that would have been, and that there'd have been a high risk they'd have chosen Bastian Pastevka for Astarion's German voice and now I made myself sad and disgusted.
I like some of his Ascended lines removed from the context of him being Ascended. When in their context, I am deeply uncomfortable xD I like the idea of Spawn Astarion like, roleplaying being a problematic vampire lord, but I just can't personally stomach AA. No hate to people that do, though!
Isn’t it disconcerting that one can spend so much dialogue and effort on helping him be better, but none of his dialogue or effort is spent on helping you be better?
I'd consider Ascended Astarion lines flirty if they were consensual bedroom roleplay, but this is how he views Tav as a person. And he gets MEAN if you challenge him in any way. Imagine coping with that from your partner for a literal eternity.
fucking hell neil
He really blessed us with this performance, didn't he?
It’s unfair what he does with that voice.
He purrs in these, I swear!
Whatever he got paid it wasnt enough
I think this every time approaching to Astarion
I would never encourage him to ascend but my GOD watching videos of him talking like that does things to me I can't describe
Because of Ascended dialogue I have been slowing leaning towards becoming an evil Durge Vampire Bride with my Vampire Lord husband... I have run 5 good Astarion runs with 4 being as a Durge. I must try the evil power couple fantasy.
It’s completely repugnant to me lmao y’all need therapy
@@Puunyamyaevil power couple sounds so amazing even if I love spawnstarion always. please lmk how the run goes, I can’t play bg3 lol
Done 2 Spawn Astarion runs so far, one romanced, one not (not by choice btw, it’s just that my 22 rizz bard somehow had 0 rizz at the same time). Thinking for my third playthrough I’ll do an evil durge and ascend him so I can do a kinda sick evil power couple thing. Wish me luck!
Like damn he is smokin hot. I kinda wanna call him daddy. Or try not to smile and blush
0:43 his movement at this moment. 😂LMAO
He's not a vampire lord, he's a princess
He’s giggling, twirling his hair, kicking his feet 😂
My reaction when someone flirts with me. I dress like a vampire but in such moment i dont mind acting like a princess
😂he so cute he deserve this world
Меттатон на вампирско-эльфийский лад 🤣
@@ARIKA_NESTREAL i love them both oh no
HIS LITTLE SWAYING WHEN HE SAYS MY TREASURE ,,, he's so fucking cute, Ascended or Spawn.
When he's being flirty while covered in blood...
whooooooof you are onto something
"So it's like drugs?"
"Oh, it's way better than drugs, Jeremy."
I don't think I've ever been so thoroughly called out in my entire life.
He talks like a vampire in an erotic novel…and I am here for it.
Vampires in erotics novels are not close to his level of charm :D (unless you know some quality novels and I want to read it ;) )
@@daphnecluseau3961, yeah, true. Erotic novels are trash.
Astarion is sensual and charming.
I love the Anne Rice vamp vibes he has, he and Lestat would have a field day together
@Nirual that's genuinely the best way to describe him ❤
" will eat you right up" FUUUUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK this is the line that got me
His voice does something to me I can't even begin to describe.
Same ❤❤❤
Him and garrus valerian could read the phone book and I’d be very happy
"Bad girl" f me neil 😂
Same after this game I'm not myself anymore
Me: *a full grown adult engaged* “why am I giggling”
because the lines are literally MEANT for FULLY GROWN players? XD
"so its like drugs?" "IF THE DRUGS WERE ALSO ANTIDEPRESSANTS, GAVE YOU A SAFE SPACE, DID A JOB OF 3 HOURS OF THERAPY AND PAYED YOUR RENT, NO JEREMY ITS BETTER"
But what if Astarion was your Squip?
It would likely be dangerous, but... worth it XD
I dunno what this is but I agree, with every fiber of my being. 😢
@EssEll9791 it's a reference to a scene from a musical called "Be more chill", :)
I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE 😂
@@romantheboat9118Oh lord, if my Squip looked like Astarion I’d be in so much trouble but wouldn’t care xD Wouldn’t even need a big number like The Pitiful Children to get me to Squip everybody I know.
0:43 I CANT GET OVER HOW ADORABLE HE IS THE WAY HE MOVES it’s so bashful like “heeheeheehee I have the greatest partner 😍🥰”
Vampire Spawn Astarion: I respect you as my equal and I am so grateful for you helping me free myself and for not letting me become the monster I lived in fear of for centuries. You helped me realize that I was enough, that I was already someone worth caring about. I will love you for all of my eternal life. Thank you.
Vampire Ascendant Astarion: Oh my adorable pathetic little play-thing… Get on your knees and beg for my attention. I am going to take control of this entire world, and you, my love, will be there to see it all as my beautiful eternal consort. Now turn around and move your hair off that neck, I’m going to take all that you are until your heart stops beating.
This man gives me whiplash and all I can ever say is HARDER YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE😡😮💨💕
Not Astarion being both of my weaknesses at once (sweet and sincere / possessive and arrogant). Like come on I'm only human how is this freaking fair?
The worst part is ascended astarion still love you in his own twisted way, like calling us treasure, shows signs that he still in there just now power hungry and manipulative
DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE!!
And yet both of these are acceptable options.
Bro 8 Minutes aint enough to put all his flirting 😭🫂
I was NOT ready for the “Bad girl” at 2:48 and now I’m really questioning some things about myself. My god. 🥵
I was ready for it cause I saw your comment, and yet I jumped up and like. almost threw my phone across the room. God 🔥
I'm still not over the "On your knees, darling." line.
Neil just has too much power. Lawd.
@@emsitdown9141
Oh god me at 1:30
I can't find a video with the male version AAAAAA
@@amief6111me neither, me neither and the followup of 'bad girl' seals it for me lol, (my wisdom is awful so I fail 90% of the time when I try to read his mind lol)
Yeah I feel both envious and bad for those who had to work on this audio. Envy because like, obviously, but also bad because can't imagine anyone walking in on them working, or them facing Neil after he gave this performance. Can definitely feel like a few had a hard time with eye contact afterwards and red faces. I sure would've 😂
It's even funnier when you learn that Neil had to redo a lot of these lines for being "too horny"
@sapphire26 it makes me think, if those are the less horny, how do the horny ones sound like? 😅
@@sapphire26You’re kidding…right?
@ChiakiNanami736 isn't there a picture of the dev note directions on some of his lines saying [slightly horny] (ONLY SLIGHTLY NEIL!) 😂
@@Incoherent-excitement I’ve never seen the dev notes with my own eyes, just read about them in comments on this site.
Astarion could, in a single kiss, singlehandedly cure my all my ailments, chronic and debilitating diseases, mental illnesses, make my hair thicker, give me perfect 20/20 vision, pay off my dog's surgery bills, get me a house in Oregon (USA), give us universal healthcare/vision/dental/mental, make my skin glow, my toes curl and make me even more obsessed with him than i already am.
wdym? A single glance is enough
@@sabsain2399just him in my sight can do that
Bowie as goblin king meets Frankenfurter 😂
With some Adam Ant
@@lanie200 omg thought what I thought of him
YOU'RE SO RIGHT
I said the same thing 🤣
Not me ACTUALLY drooling for him😭✋🏽
FR FR
Drooling for him AS WE SPEAK
me too haha
Just now realizing how much he moans i
That's astonishing how you can guess when he's ascended and when he's stille a spawn
Astarionishing so to speak :D
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh "Little Love, whatever could be the matter" would snap me out of whatever is bothering me every time. hfffffffssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh
This is so me
This video is dangerous. My brain broke somewhere right in the middle ❤️🔥🥵
I ate that shit up. I simp for Astarion so hard. ;A;
there is something fundamentally wrong with my brain when the “you’ll be perfectly obedient” comment makes me scream and need to run laps
I feel you...
And the 'bad girl' line sexy lol
I'm a blushing mess now😭 listening to this with headphones 😳
Same here! Astarion could read a telephone book & I would still be enthralled by him. 😋🤭
When I first Ascended him and he said, "I can't wait to taste your lips after you've tasted me." I literally put my hand over my chest. 🥴
I love how he ascends and he still sounds like an excited kid when he says 'my treasure.'
Oh I love Astarion. (Furious with him for not being real!)
😌 we have Neil (his voice actor)
His voice and genuine flirts ❤😊
As much as I like being “wonderfully obedient” 😳 I’ll always keep him unascended.
Sameee. I never have the guts to ascend him. Ascended Astarion is scary.
1:58
"I hoped you would come..." 😏
Don't lie: We all want an Astarion in our lives
-want- _need._
i dont want *an* Asterion in my life, i need *the* Asterion in my life!
If only he was real he would have soo many lovers he would prolly never get bored lol
Astarion is the ULTIMATE ASMR boyfriend period.
1:33 for research purposes.
Neil did not have to go this hard.
it's been almost a year and i have heard these lines hundreds of times, but my ass still smirks and giggles like i haven't ever expierenced this haha.
Man got me kicking my feet
NEIL IS FEEDING US THE VERY BEST🥵🥵
Why is evil astarion so danm hot 🤤
Same reason Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy are hot, lol. Carefully cultivated manipulation to get them what they want.
My ovaries have just imploded, thank you!
this comment is making me scream and its five in the morning, ive woken everyone up, thank you
@@cutiebetutie haha, you're welcome
6:33 how long I laughed when I saw this scene in the cave and Astarion said the same thing about the ceiling
Voice actors are magical
1:41 The delivery of this line is so good. 🥴
My face hurts from smiling so much 🫠😂
"Bad girl" yes, you're right. Now say it again, thanks.
I’m sorry this is one of 3 astarion videos that make me blush ever damn time
And here I was, thinking I was demi-sexual. Nope, turns out I'm Astarion-sexual 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵
Demi-sexual just means "average person" in woke-speak
Same dude, same 😂
@@mykalkelley8315 thanks for translation. 👍
You see I thought I was aromantic. Turns out I'm aromantic towards real life people because here I am, having a crush of the decade on literal pixels 😂😭
This comment made me end up in a psychiatric hospital because I tried to hang myself. I hope you’re happy.
I would be a blushing mess at his shameless flirting. I don't get flirted with much, not even from my husband. xP
Though once I got used to his vibe I'd flirt back. ALTHOUGH I might actually flirt with everyone if I got comfortable with them. The one's I'm not actually interested in fully I'd make it clear that it's just flirting for fun. Nothing more.
Sameee omggggg. My husband doesn’t flirt with me too. *sad noises* I’m a huge flirt myself, so it’s so easy to romance anyone. I don’t know how I ended up with my husband who doesn’t even know how to talk dirty 😂
Can we also talk about the customization of the protagonist? So gorgeous
i haven't even played this game yet but I am in LOVE
Holy shit, I get that ascended Astarion is evil and shit, but damn did some of his lines kill me, then revive me, then make my whole body shake.
1:30 - 1:37...C'mon Neil, I'm still too young to die💀
Me, an arrogant pup, seeing pictures and memes of the Astarion thirst before playing the game: "He's pretty, but he's just not my type."
Me after playing the game: "He is the hottest being I have ever witnessed with my own two eyeballs."
i spent so long thinking i was lesbian but GYATTTT DAYUMMM if women are not missing out bc MEN DON'T TALK TO US LIKE THIS
Gods I’m such a big simp for this man 😫😫😫
This is nice but i love the way spawn astarion flirts though. 😍
I don’t want to let him ascend but dear god…………..
OKAY, I WAS NOT READY FOR HIM TO SAY 'ON YOUR KNEES.'
1:28 OH MY GOD I CAN'T NO THIS LINE SOMEBODY HELP I SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED
Not my face being beet red for 8 minutes straight-
I love LOVE Ascended Astarion he is divine.
I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM
Sadly, the beginning of this isn't 'flirty' it's 'predator' Astarion. I adore Astarion, but not so much the Ascended version. Ascended Astarion uses the term 'love' insincerely. He'd never see Tav as his equal, but as something he created to be by his side while his shadow looms over everything. He makes it pretty clear in his pet names.
I prefer the Astarion who is more earnest once you've won his trust. He's more genuine as he realizes he doesn't have to front you anymore. His flirting is more sincere.
This comment helped me realize when his flirts were blatant manipulation
I recently saw this video on youtube depicting the future of ascended astarion and tav. It's pretty heartbreaking, but I honestly think it's very realistic. I would never be able to ascend astarion... If I ever did, then I would have to rp that I don't care about him, which I just can't seem to do ^^`
Here's the video btw: ua-cam.com/video/2_DHOTPYYbA/v-deo.html&ab_channel=Vesper
Not to mention: "The biggest threat to a vampire is another vampire."
Also jumping in to add that becoming a true vampire (and who knows how much this quadruples when you literally exchange your soul to a King of the Nine Hells to Ascend) in DND lore means you lose your last bit of humanity/soul. They are no longer categorized as a person, like the other DND races, but as an official Monster, along with Beholders, Dragons, etc.
This is also reflected when you read the writings strewn about Cazador’s castle (especially at the little altar on the side of the chamber Cazador tries to Ascend in). They imply Cazador’s own master, Vellioth, basically beat the last of his compassion, empathy, humanity out of him before making him a true vampire and drilling into him the 3 Lessons of Vampirism (one of which he taught to Cazador by having him impaled for 11 years 😰).
Once you’ve lost your soul, you don’t become emotionless, but all your emotions get turned into their negative counterpart. Love becomes obsession & possessiveness, friendship becomes jealousy, etc. They seek out physical gratification for these cravings that were once softer, human emotions.
So they did a very good job portraying that in Ascended Astarion. He is a smart man, & a preternatural creature that is MEANT to seduce their prey to boot. He’s manipulative as shit 😂. It’s in his nature now! And so many people are falling for it, sadly.
Nothing wrong with Ascending Astarion or enjoying Ascended Astarion’s scenes/character. It’s fiction! It’s meant to be fun, to experience dangerous things in a safe context.
But the amount of “Here’s Proof Ascended Astarion Actually Loves You” is…very concerning. He does have FEELINGS for Tav after he Ascends…but they are not love. He is physically incapable of it. Which isn’t his fault. But just reinforces this as his “bad” (and for me personally, extremely sad in the larger context of his trauma) ending.
@@heoniebee9566The soulless thing doesn't check out in BG3, because Cazador must have a soul in order to function as a sacrifice.
I shouldn’t be listening to this when I’ll be getting Neil’s autograph in a few hours, this will be all I think about
this is too juicy
2:00 You what now 😃
He can destroy me, my credit and my car, Ascended or not
Astarion is the reason I know I’m gay
2:02 that is one of my favorite Astarion outfits when i watch clips
I NEED
I WOULD BEG
Total flirt! 😂❤
I can't help but his you be mine sounds ďangerous, that it will better to run away😮 heyyy Galeeeeee😅
At 7:26
I want that outfit
I want that hand accessory so much
☠️☠️☠️ I'm letting him ascend.
My Tav became more powerful than him as a Baal spawn in charge of the Absolute 👹 whilst having complete control over him, yes I did an evil Durge playthrough
This hits different with headphones, holy shit...
this is literally his trauma response you guys 💀💀💀
see, some of this flirting is cute and some of it is repeatedly hitting my run away run away run away button
@@mynightingale Also how I felt with Gale's flirts, once you realize you're essentially the rebound chick.
No.... you haven't been paying attention if you think that way.
He mentioned one of the things he desires in life being gold, sex, revenge and power
He likes to flirt and have sex. He just doesn't want to feel used and abused while at it
@@sabsain2399 If you think he means what he says early on in the game… There’s only one emotion that he’s never able to suppress in the early game: surprise, so unless he’s just been shocked/surprised by something, everything he says is a lie, including “and” and “the.”
@@ChiakiNanami736 he doesn't say that early on in the game
2:47
STOOPPPP
I literally was standing up when I heard that and I had to sit on the floor to process that
The character is incredibly well written, and is funny as fuck.
But I was a metalhead teenager in the grunge era...
Back then, those pickup lines were considered the most obviously insincere, lame and desperate attempts of the edgiest kid to a quick shag... 😅
I could never do his romance route, not even for a loose bet... 😂
I love astarion
2:41 .... ignore this...
1:28 I...
why am i kicking my feet
i don't think neil listened to the "only SLIGHTLY horny" comment
1:29
"straight"
exCUSE me did I miss that!? under what conditions does that dialogue happened!? 7:47
I haven’t played through to that point yet so I’m not sure of which specific lines of dialogue you have to choose, but I believe it happens after you ascend Astarion and agree to one last “night of passion” before becoming his spawn.
i really must know how neils partner feels
The subtitles made me think "thank god, they didn't dub the game with German voice actors", then I wondered what kind of disaster that would have been, and that there'd have been a high risk they'd have chosen Bastian Pastevka for Astarion's German voice and now I made myself sad and disgusted.
I've now pinned it down, AA gives me serious Naavlan vibes from Dark Souls lol
I want to cuddle!
he just like me fr~
0:00 ok where do i hear this its sound ascended but never heard it
man, i wish men were real 😕💔
Me too damn it
*sigh* same
GODS I’M SO GAY-
I like some of his Ascended lines removed from the context of him being Ascended. When in their context, I am deeply uncomfortable xD
I like the idea of Spawn Astarion like, roleplaying being a problematic vampire lord, but I just can't personally stomach AA. No hate to people that do, though!
What is the long braided hairstyle at 3:22 and 5:54? It’s so gorgeous and I want my Tav to have it too!
"To be mine.. forever." ASMR SHIVERS GOOD GOD 🫠🥰🫠
Isn’t it disconcerting that one can spend so much dialogue and effort on helping him be better, but none of his dialogue or effort is spent on helping you be better?
Can you please tell what mod changes the characters cloths?
I'd consider Ascended Astarion lines flirty if they were consensual bedroom roleplay, but this is how he views Tav as a person. And he gets MEAN if you challenge him in any way. Imagine coping with that from your partner for a literal eternity.
Oh my God when does he say that first line!?