The 3 BIG SIGNS He Doesn't Respect You! (DON'T IGNORE HIS RED FLAGS) | Mel Robbins

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 385

  • @LisaBilyeu
    @LisaBilyeu  2 роки тому +82

    WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments, that is someone impersonating me.

    • @pennilesswriter1556
      @pennilesswriter1556 2 роки тому +8

      Glad you put that here.
      Also, you put the link to the your relationship questions in the last video, I went through the process (email, name, blah, blah, blah) and all I got was sent to another thing and no pdf. Is the set up not finished or what? I'm not criticizing here, I just want to get the pdf, through the email sign up, not have to wait until the book comes out 😂😂 I genuinely hope this doesn't come across as being rude or entitled. That's not my intention, at all. I've enjoyed both you and Tom for years, and I think this endeavor is another great one as well.

    • @maryannspicer3192
      @maryannspicer3192 2 роки тому +3

      Yes, thanks

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

    • @keepcreationprocess
      @keepcreationprocess 2 роки тому

      Lisa, can you ask the wife of wayne Dyer to be on the show ?

    • @katherinemcdavid2115
      @katherinemcdavid2115 Рік тому

      ​@@maryannspicer3192 hi by y😮

  • @nursemaggie2321
    @nursemaggie2321 2 роки тому +61

    Bottom line, when both parties are willing to work and make changes separately and together. If one person is unwilling to work, it CAN'T WORK OUT. PERIOD.

  • @johannalackie6638
    @johannalackie6638 2 роки тому +335

    I just have to say, please don’t invalidate how completely destructive a narcissist is. They groom their victims slowly like a frog in water, you don’t see it coming. I had to stop listening because she obviously has no idea how insidious their manipulation is. Please don’t ever comment on what a narcissistic relationship is like unless you have been in one, or your name is Dr. Ramani. 🙏🏻

    • @Grungeflutter
      @Grungeflutter 2 роки тому +65

      Yes, it’s brutal and soul crushing. I’m beginning my journey out now. It’s been one week and one of the hardest. We only dated a year and yet, I’m temporarily broken inside. I’ll get to the other side but I wanted to validate your comment. 🙏🏼

    • @stacyjaye6350
      @stacyjaye6350 2 роки тому +30

      @@Grungeflutter time is your friend. To quote my mom. I helped my friend out of a two year abusive relationship with a narc last year. She just hit her one year anniversary of being completely single, she called me the other day and I could hear the smile in her voice when she said "I feel so free!". Sending strength, courage, and hugs from Tulsa.💪⚔️🫂☮️💖

    • @hannahviolet927
      @hannahviolet927 2 роки тому +41

      Mel did an episode with Dr. Ramani if you wanna check it out

    • @meditation8905
      @meditation8905 2 роки тому +3

      They crush your soul treat you as a trash ... their fake personality and love bombing phase ....they are 😈

    • @JanellRhiannon
      @JanellRhiannon 2 роки тому +19

      I have to agree. Currently, it's so popular to use the word narcissist, but when a person operates from that mode 24/7 they know who and how to manipulate. She's the more narcissistic person in her relationship based on her "ADD" therefore, she may not want to acknowledge a full fledged Narc is literally an attack on a person's vulnerability. The gossip to friends is more of a conversation about --wait am I crazy? Because that's how they make you feel.

  • @chardaecraig7308
    @chardaecraig7308 2 роки тому +90

    The bullish* we do: Being passive aggressive, not asking for what you need, not pointing out what someone is doing wrong and gossiping about it instead, tolerating the same crap over and over again and not saying anything YES YES YES!

    • @drumsnbass
      @drumsnbass 2 роки тому

      You’ve met my ex-wife I see…

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

    • @martinepeters9891
      @martinepeters9891 Рік тому

      You are on point. Check out Richard Grannon, I'm sure you'll like his approach.

    • @sunnyadams5842
      @sunnyadams5842 Рік тому +1

      You've described my former self and CoDependency to a T. Luckily, it IS fixable!!

  • @MissManaged1001
    @MissManaged1001 Рік тому +12

    Partners should each put in 100%. I hate that 50% bs. Compromise and empathy HAVE to be there for a healthy relationship

  • @anna-mariamarkova9584
    @anna-mariamarkova9584 2 роки тому +147

    To me, respecting yourself is the basis of every relationship you will ever have. Healthy people attract healthy people.

    • @gabrielleaumont3971
      @gabrielleaumont3971 2 роки тому +15

      Not always. Some miscreants feel it a challenge to bring a healthy person down
      Moths to a flame.
      Don't be so smug!

    • @stacyjaye6350
      @stacyjaye6350 2 роки тому +12

      @@gabrielleaumont3971 a lot of them are master manipulators.

    • @alexandradelafe2497
      @alexandradelafe2497 2 роки тому +8

      @@stacyjaye6350 YES if not approached in a healthy way especially whe ,gaslighting can drive you to a point of insanity or anger

    • @anna-mariamarkova9584
      @anna-mariamarkova9584 2 роки тому +7

      @@gabrielleaumont3971 I know, girl, I know. I have dated the master manipulators and the ones of need to be rescued, I know how it goes. It took me 29 years to understand that nothing good can happen without me respecting myself and my boundaries.

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @iamgoddessoflove
    @iamgoddessoflove 2 роки тому +80

    Don't lose yourself to someone that doesn't respect you; instead, let go of that relationship to allow doors to open from someone that deserves you.
    💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @HeartsAlignPodcast
    @HeartsAlignPodcast Рік тому +34

    “If the relationship is right you will feel energetically aligned. We are energetic human beings. The second you feel the energy is off, or you feel negative vibrations, there is all the evidence you need.”
    Thank you Mel. Could have saved me years of I would have listened to this in 2020.

    • @darkcrystalmagik3369
      @darkcrystalmagik3369 8 місяців тому +2

      This is similar to the idea that you trust your nodybto tell you when something isnt right, that when you meet someone who is a threat, you may feel unease & discomfort you cant place, & that it's your unconscious picking up on smaller signals of danger that we are missing

    • @Thrivingby
      @Thrivingby 26 днів тому +1

      Thank you. This may have just saved me. I definitely could have used this before too

  • @SimoneJY
    @SimoneJY 2 роки тому +136

    This conversation of setting boundaries and communicating our grievances is key to building and maintaining healthy relationships. However, since both Mel and Lisa are women who welcome the truth, even if hard to hear, I would like to say this candidly. There are certain parts of this episode that have brought up feelings of confusion and mistrust. Mel says, "I believe every human being is capable of changing". That belief kept me in a relationship with a narcissist for 25 years. Some people will not change no matter how much we want to believe and we put the work in ourselves to make this possible. I realize that my situation is the outlier in this conversation, BUT I would be doing myself a disservice by not calling this out for all of us who have been victims of narcissistic abuse. Please do not generalize and reiterate "toxic behavior" as a blanket term to define actions that are simply inconsiderate with no malicious intent. To me, toxic behaviors are intentional, cruel acts meant with a very specific dark purpose in mind. If you label your inability to speak your mind due to insecurities as toxic behaviors, you are in fact minimalizing the impact and pain of real toxicity which most people will never truly understand. It is no different than the over-reaching use of the word bullying in schools where a child nowadays is called a bully for simply voicing a like or dislike of something. Please be mindful of your audience. I love this conversation as a whole but some of it was difficult to listen to without feeling disrespected....somewhat paradoxical, wouldn't you say?

    • @LisaBilyeu
      @LisaBilyeu  2 роки тому +74

      OMG thank you so so much for speaking your mind! I always welcome constructive, well meaning feedback and so this is greeted with open arms! It was absolutely never mine or Mel's intention (I know her well so I can comfortably state this on both of our behalves), to minimize the pain that comes with toxic behavior and you have my deepest sincere apologies my homie if you felt that was the insinuation! I can't promise I wont ever mess up, but I can promise I will learn from them! I truly meant zero disrespect and want to say thank you so much for speaking your truth in such a kind and educating way. I so appreciate that!
      Much love, Lisa

    • @justlottie
      @justlottie 2 роки тому +24

      Thank you so much Simone for pointing that out, I wanted to highlight this topic as well. Not everyone is capable of change and you're not toxic for saying that. Raised in an extremely unhealthy family with a borderline and enabling narc parents, I understand that it's not what most people deal with and not what this episode was centered on, however generalizing and making the word "toxic" a "toxic" term does more harm than good. It is crucial to make a distinction between real detrimental toxicity and our 'imperfections', such as not cutting up the cardboard boxes etc etc. @womenofimpact

    • @Lisa-cp5xl
      @Lisa-cp5xl 2 роки тому +6

      Well said, thank you! I have been there myself. Sending you love.

    • @helenfalco7601
      @helenfalco7601 2 роки тому +1

      Absolutely thought the exact same thing when "all humans have the capacity to change" was thrown out. Yikes! Nope they don't. Most especially a Narc or worse a malignant Narc! It is a personality disorder with about 1% chance of change happening. Especially the psychopaths! Foreget it.

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @chardaecraig7308
    @chardaecraig7308 2 роки тому +32

    “IT’S EASY TO POINT THE FINGER BUT THE POWER IS IN LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT YOU’RE GONNA DO”

  • @aurora9687
    @aurora9687 Рік тому +15

    Alot of narcissistic abuse survivors do Not tell people about the abuse because they are embarrassed or don't want to feel worse because someone will minimize it. I was married to a diagnosed NPD bipolar man 22 years older than me. He was a predator. I made it out over 20 years ago and am still recovering. Some people, including professionals, do not understand the depth of damage.

  • @phoenixrising8007
    @phoenixrising8007 2 роки тому +34

    The gender roles are changing but
    the importance of masculine and feminine energy in relationship is crucial. The balance of Yin/yang, give & take, the ability to give and receive acknowledgment, appreciation & support to maintain harmony 🤝

  • @pennilesswriter1556
    @pennilesswriter1556 2 роки тому +48

    Mel gets the balance: men aren't the enemy, they aren't trash, you don't go into a relationship with the idea that "he disrespects me one time and...".
    These are amazing women who realize people have things they need to work through, and they WILL work through them IN RELATIONSHIPS, MEN and WOMEN included. That's not a bad thing. It's a beautiful thing. Obviously, *some* men are awful, but they're usually the same men different women keep coming across, just as there are *some* women who are awful. Balance!

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

    • @bcbro142
      @bcbro142 2 роки тому +1

      Well said👏👏

    • @luckyduckydaisyflower2344
      @luckyduckydaisyflower2344 Рік тому

      Perhaps your love luck is circumstances and odds you might have got lucky. Don't be so quick to look down your nose..perhaps you put up with crap no one else could..being paired up isn't the crown of life..when two crazy people pick eachother and hang on and break and hang on again..now..THAT is something to behold and a story to tell. You might have no idea what's really happening around you from that high horse..you aren't any better than a drug addict or prostitute.

    • @Maggiebenjee
      @Maggiebenjee Рік тому +2

      If it's so important to remind us that men aren't trash and some women are awful, maybe the first sentence needs a Harder look?

  • @chardaecraig7308
    @chardaecraig7308 2 роки тому +17

    I LOVE THIS SO FAR!!! Great reflection of reality for me . Asking how your actions may be affecting others is a sign of growth, maturity, and shows that you care enough to want to know. Even the minuscule things as a child, with mom being mad and the child not thinking it may be because of something else but internalizing it automatically as them being the problem , GOLDEN 👌🏽. Emotional Needs have definitely been on the back burner for a long time and still is in many families. I’m glad we’re more vulnerable now and being more outspoken.

    • @Lucaplayshorts
      @Lucaplayshorts 2 роки тому

      So, if you are speaking at an MLM convention, and asking yourself how your actions may be affecting others, such as encouraging others to continue in a business that is stacked against you, would make you think…what?

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @chardaecraig7308
    @chardaecraig7308 2 роки тому +14

    These interviews are so freaking long! I never get through them as much as I want to but I’m really happy I finally did.

    • @hollygrace6814
      @hollygrace6814 2 роки тому +2

      i watch them in segments

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

    • @niellalien
      @niellalien Рік тому +1

      Leave them playing while you're cleaning your house or something

  • @apsaravidhya8869
    @apsaravidhya8869 2 роки тому +24

    The collaboration we never knew we needed. Two of my favourite personalities. Love from India ❤️

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @LaPinturaBella
    @LaPinturaBella 2 роки тому +18

    Wow. The section about blocking love and not being able to fully trust just hit me like a ton of bricks. I grew up with a narcissistic dad and everything was transactional. With a cruel test. He would make "deals" with me that set me up to do what he wants for me to get what I wanted or needed. I'd do my part, and he'd renege. The result? I don't think I've ever fully trusted anyone and I became super independent, do everything myself because I don't trust people to ever help. Which probably gives them the impression I feel they are inept or incapable. I also don't ever trust that anyone will give me what I need or do something for me because they want to. My first thought is what do I have to do to "earn" that.
    I'm on the verge of tears right now.

    • @graceymiller6047
      @graceymiller6047 2 роки тому +2

      Same here; seen not heard, do what I say not what I do. He had a better way to do everything. Only comp I could get was my looks but it set me up to be used. Went mute at 3 for more than a year....
      So much for marrying my own narc! On my own at 59 and still without resolution but life goes on.

    • @sunnyadams5842
      @sunnyadams5842 Рік тому +1

      Bella, Gracie- you both are genius and I am one with you. We are not alone - most unfortunately.
      Here's😘 Hoping we all have had a good cry and keep rising above all this twaddle.
      Life Can be so Beautiful 🎉

    • @LaPinturaBella
      @LaPinturaBella Рік тому

      @@sunnyadams5842 Thank you and Gracie for your heartfelt words. We 3 are in good company here. So.erimes the unfortunate things that happen to us leads to meeting good people we'd never have met otherwise. I'm very pleased to meet both of you.

  • @RachelSDay1982
    @RachelSDay1982 Рік тому +4

    I had to not just walk away, but run away from a physically abusive husband years ago. I went into a battered women's shelter with my baby daughter a week before Christmas. There are partners who are capable of meeting you halfway. Unfortunately, my ex-husband was not able to do this. I look forward to meeting a man who IS capable of a give-and-take relationship, and not just take, take, take.

  • @TarnaEcho
    @TarnaEcho 2 роки тому +4

    This video is so much more than the title. This video is about the whole human. The title isn’t doing this video justice. Amazing sesh ladies!! ❤🎉🙏

  • @CDeen
    @CDeen Рік тому +1

    This is one of the best talks....
    Generations, psych, life..relationship...beyond connection...emotions...
    37 min...polarity in relationships is important...Masculine vs feminine energetic concepts...she touches on this ...and the success/balance and feeling imbalance/failure/disharmony of this all....wow.
    Appreciate this so much

  • @andrewc.2952
    @andrewc.2952 2 роки тому +2

    A relationship should be 100/100.

  • @satyamyogaderby
    @satyamyogaderby Рік тому +6

    I absolutely agree money is the power dynamic!! I’ve always earns my own money and that’s given me freedom and the ability and power to walk away when I’ve needed to! I didn’t need to stay in 2 marriages when they finished! Xx

  • @myside963
    @myside963 2 роки тому +40

    Nothing wrong with traditional roles. For me, personally, that's what I want. Been married 23 years now. There's nothing wrong with men taking the lead either, despite what feminists today say. Each person and couple is different and different things work for them. Gender roles are not horseshit! Maybe for you, but not everyone! I was perfectly content and happy being a stay at home mom. I don't want to work outside the home, it's not for me. For me personally it's important to be home with my kids and be that traditional role. There's nothing wrong with it!!!!! That's what I hate about society today. What works for some might not work for others, it doesn't mean either is wrong!

    • @vikki8699
      @vikki8699 2 роки тому +4

      Beautifully said! ❤️

    • @ElliotHaganOfficial
      @ElliotHaganOfficial 2 роки тому +2

      Exactly and it's similar to when someone tells you the truth coz again you can't speak for everyone just coz something is the truth for you doesn't mean that it's the truth for everyone

    • @Chris-dw7gq
      @Chris-dw7gq 2 роки тому +3

      Yup, respect your opinions and others. I respect your ideas. Some of us were never given options like you, no one supported me ever. Some of us just don't know that path because we can't carry a child and we don't have a man like you, even if we want that.

    • @divineray1977
      @divineray1977 2 роки тому +5

      I didn’t get what she was saying as rigid. I interpreted it as it’s not the standard or goal. As you said “each person and each couple is different”. I completely agree. So focus on your relationship and what it needs to function. I feel she is trying to tear down the roles that each sex has been assigned and the unnecessary pressure it puts on us to conform. What did it trigger in you? And why?

    • @ambivalent5842
      @ambivalent5842 2 роки тому +4

      Here here! Too many judge . True feminism is the prerogative to decide what one wants.

  • @nellymiller7669
    @nellymiller7669 Рік тому +2

    My first husband couldn't provide for me and the kids and he didn't care - it has nothing to do with preferences - kids just need something to eat and a warm place to live .... and a good father needs to do whatever he can to care for his family , not just thinking about himself.

  • @vixwza8553
    @vixwza8553 Рік тому +3

    In my house, my French bulldog gets to shred all cardboard boxes and then I just sweep it all. Honestly, the little guy does such a good job he could work at the recycling centre.

  • @patriciahennard
    @patriciahennard 2 роки тому +19

    This is powerful. The responsibility and asking for what you need it’s just hard when you tell them and they don’t care. The facing of that is hard. In vt also!

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

    • @victorial8764
      @victorial8764 Рік тому

      Exactly when they don’t care! I’ve been realizing it may be less of how they don’t care and more of we aren’t getting needs met and they act cold but they could be triggered as well. It’s hard but thinking about the other person when you feel completely justified because they say something or do something to show they don’t care. It’s hard to not call them a a hole and walk away😂. I get this though. You are probably a loving and sensitive hearted person. ❤

  • @jenniferknippenberg9554
    @jenniferknippenberg9554 2 роки тому +12

    All of it hit home!
    I love how real and open all your conversations are! Thank you for giving this to the world! 🙏❤

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @saekubo3795
    @saekubo3795 Рік тому +2

    I love her openness and honesty,
    So relatable.

  • @circesercy2190
    @circesercy2190 2 роки тому +7

    I like that Mel said antidepressants for a year. A short term. Too many Dr's let patients go for years and slowly keep adding more and more. Keeping that depression fed. The side effects alone can lead to more symptoms.

    • @elyssaa1196
      @elyssaa1196 Рік тому +1

      Yes and no. I have to be on them or my depression comes back full force.

  • @mararamitchpeace
    @mararamitchpeace 2 роки тому +4

    Girl, There were times when Mel opened her mouth and I was like "HECK NAW! IM DONE!" and was about to turn this off. But then I hung in there for the results and just fell in love with the answers. 🥰

  • @stephanienewton6618
    @stephanienewton6618 2 роки тому +2

    I don’t break down the boxes. They go to the curb like that. But I’m single. But see this is one of the reasons why I don’t want to remarry. I don’t want someone telling me I have to start living differently than I am. Because if nothing bad has happened so far with me not breaking down the boxes then why should I start doing it when I could spend that time taking a walk/self-care? That’s like enabling someone’s perfectionism.

  • @TheMaerli
    @TheMaerli 2 роки тому +9

    her husband Chris could also offer his help instead of expecting her to ASK, it's about the empathy and if one feels that the other struggles with asking for help, they can help by offering help, rigt? Chris also shouldn't assume she left it on purpose but believe she doesn't have any bad intentions, it's like giving the person you know and you love a credit. He could say, hey honey, I would like to help you or let's do it together.

    • @UnacceptableTee
      @UnacceptableTee Рік тому +2

      Especially because she does so much; takes care of so much as she’s admitted. He feels there is nothing left to do. Then do the boxes lol. It’s not about the boxes. It’s the narrative he tells himself because of his beliefs. Is it true that what he believes it to be ? No. Mel hates doing it; and is doing a lot. Why can’t he take care of her in that way? I’m sure she does things that he doesn’t like doing and doesn’t mind doing it. It’s a little petty to me; especially because she’s not assuming or leaving them for him. It’s not on top of her priority list and she’s likely tackling many things; that probably require prioritizing immediately. Or; he could just do it because he knows how much she does do; and knowing she hates it is and it could be very sweet; kind; loving act. Like caring for her. Since he doesn’t hate doing it; what’s the big deal. They are “ her “ boxes. I bet she does “ his “ laundry; or makes “ his dinner” or picks up his stuff. What if the box is something for the household that benefits him or the family ? Because “ she “ ordered it it’s on her?😕 I guess people have their thing but if they have communicated feelings and it’s not her intent; then why be so stubborn. It’s his narrative. That’s the story he’s telling himself possibly due to past stuff. Why doesn’t he just change the story. Like maybe “ Mel takes care of so much; and I know this is something she hates doing; so I’ll do it for “us” I’m sure she does alot of stuff she doesn’t like doing for the family. It’s just boxes. She seems like the type that would acknowledge his kindness and care for her if he did take care of the boxes. I bet she would show appreciation and acknowledge it. Wow; she seems like a very understanding; kind; patient woman.

    • @SamStone1964
      @SamStone1964 Рік тому

      ​@@UnacceptableTee He seems passive aggressive. She seems to be calling out his behaviour by acting self deprecating.

  • @siobhanmcgregor2557
    @siobhanmcgregor2557 2 роки тому +4

    I'm loving myself to the extent that my partner needs to match my self respect.
    Looking good Mel, you and Chris are well suited. I'd love to have Mel as a sister -she's so wise

  • @Lisa-cp5xl
    @Lisa-cp5xl 2 роки тому +5

    Thank you Mel for your time working a domestic violence hotline- you helped save the lives of survivors like myself

  • @evelina787
    @evelina787 Рік тому +5

    The emotionally sadistic narcissist derives enjoyment from hurting someone. More than physical abuse, they are experts at manipulating people's emotions until they feel broken. They intimidate their partners to prevent them from expressing criticism or disapproval of their actions and decisions😔✨☘️🙏

    • @maryyoung4046
      @maryyoung4046 4 дні тому +1

      Yes agreeing with you wholeheartedly!

    • @evelina787
      @evelina787 4 дні тому

      @maryyoung4046 Bless You Mary & Wishing You All The Utmost Very Best Forevermore
      🤗

  • @annadonahue3134
    @annadonahue3134 Рік тому +2

    Two good points:
    1:08 committing yourself to your own personal growth and responsibility in your relationship... 1:09:55 alcohol, numbing one's self.

  • @celiaverdinho54
    @celiaverdinho54 2 роки тому +3

    Hello all! Amazing Interview Liza as always! Mel Robbins candid and real as ever! Thank you

  • @orielwiggins2225
    @orielwiggins2225 Рік тому

    Thank you for highlighting at improving relationship Dynamics doesn't work when only one person is doing any of the work to do that. I get so tired of the constant reinforcing of the message that if you just want something and try even have it regardless of how many times your thwarted and interfered with by your partner. Also the gender roles BS, and how detrimental it is to all genders. Thank you for this. Can't wait to catch up on the Mel Robbons podcast

  • @lovearttherapyalways
    @lovearttherapyalways 2 роки тому +1

    I enjoyed most of the interview but completely see red flags with drug induced therapy. God bless you both!

  • @helenaquin1797
    @helenaquin1797 Рік тому

    A VERY good talk! The importance of trusting one's body's messages DOES seem paramount!

  • @Katrica670
    @Katrica670 2 роки тому +4

    Lotsa times the same "ppl" are more "toxic" than the people they are labelling as toxic, crazy, drama queen, paranoid, etc.!

  • @asena1181
    @asena1181 2 роки тому +6

    This was one of the most ENLIGHTENING online talks I have ever listened to in my life! Everything that was said I learned from or could relate to. This will stick with me! Thank you for this Lisa and Mel!

  • @Chris-dw7gq
    @Chris-dw7gq 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you!! Totally helpful. I think showing up for yourself is important. I personally like to own my behaviors. It helps if your partner can discuss my behaviors and his behaviors. That's not allowed...notice friction, I say, don't create it, I know when an emotional landline is stepped on... I knew we triggered each other. Too bad he didn't have the depth to process it , in addition, I have gfs like that. Loneliness is present. They don't understand why recognizing triggers is important. Their attitude is just LIVE! That creates a lonely feeling, ya, invisible.

  • @mirelladlima5278
    @mirelladlima5278 2 роки тому +4

    This is so empowering🙏 I totally agree with Mel that everyone needs to talk to someone they trust atleast once a month. This helps us to see our own behaviour objectively and we get an unbiased opinion which helps us do the work on ourselves…🤗🙏💕

  • @RachelSDay1982
    @RachelSDay1982 Рік тому +3

    Personally, I am sick and tired of being the target of people in my life who have triggers and verbally explode on me. It's bad enough in my personal life, but when a co-worker does this type of toxic behavior, I'm just so shocked at their lack of professionalism that I can't think of what to say to them. I just have to walk away from them. What I need to learn to do is immediately report such poor behavior of these toxic co-workers to my head manager. It's really disappointing when they don't take action though. It also is illegal since management is supposed to deal with such employee matters. If they don't, they are permitting a hostile work environment to exist.

  • @mayperez1420
    @mayperez1420 2 роки тому +2

    Lisa. This was so good!! Mel Robbins your wisdom is so appreciated. Thank you!!!!!

  • @janipiso9774
    @janipiso9774 Рік тому +2

    Relationship is actually 100/100

  • @thefurtrade
    @thefurtrade 2 роки тому +4

    Wow really relatable topic about finances. Enjoyed authenticity and maturity on both sides of the conversation. Thanks

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @heatherjohnson9001
    @heatherjohnson9001 2 роки тому +3

    What a great enlightened conversation. I needed to hear this. Thanks Lisa and Mel…!

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @Katrica670
    @Katrica670 2 роки тому +1

    @25:16 funny (though not actually funny) i was gonna comment on that but i got distracted with texts. I immediately figured you would be exhausted and pissed off!

  • @lilkr8844
    @lilkr8844 2 роки тому +1

    That was the quickest hour and a half I could of listens to that all day so now I’m on a binge ❤

  • @tyler5027
    @tyler5027 Рік тому +2

    I don't know anyone that would be okay being told what to do to the point of being forced to take medication. She def runs that relationship.

  • @rashawnacooper1523
    @rashawnacooper1523 2 роки тому +5

    Wow. This was powerful. Wish I heard this years ago in my marriage.

  • @KmNry
    @KmNry Рік тому

    Really good advice and story. I have a husband who is in denial that he is depressed. And he has always pushed me to earn more money as hates being the one shouldering the finances. Now I earn more than him work full time but he still expects me to do everything! He won't hear me when I say I can't do it all any more

    • @SamStone1964
      @SamStone1964 Рік тому

      Don't do it all. Do what you can and don't tell him about it.

  • @waxhero8878
    @waxhero8878 Рік тому

    MDMA (with my husband) was the number 1 healing experience for me. I only had it once and have no need to do it again. My phobia (emeto) is nearly gone, 11 years of therapy couldnt do that. I don't drink, smoke or take any other drugs, but this experience was life changing for me and as Mel was saying: You can go to places where you cant normally go, without fear, just to observe. Great experience, now 5 years ago. It feels like a life time though. All the best to everyone

    • @booie291
      @booie291 Рік тому +1

      Please oh please, send me info on this topic. We've been wanting to do this type of healing for a long time!

  • @amyp9010
    @amyp9010 2 роки тому +4

    I can relate to Mel .love this conversation...love mels examples...love both their examples..this is so helpful to me,to hear in detail on their issues w partners .I see where I need work

  • @Lanathea
    @Lanathea Рік тому +1

    You 2 ladies are the Best. I love how deep you went this time. Its so hard to find good advice for long term relationship, but you've done it several Times now. There should be a regular follow up talk with Mel 😁🙏😊

  • @jeannedeclue
    @jeannedeclue Рік тому +1

    FIRE! Hitting all the topics. LOVE this!

  • @iworkout8137
    @iworkout8137 2 роки тому +14

    Love this I was watching a video from Mel the other day and thought wow I'm a walking red flag lol self awareness is key my spouse and I are working on ourselves not eachother to have the relationship we want

  • @simplesallyssister
    @simplesallyssister 2 роки тому +4

    Amazing episode!!! Thank you both ❤

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @sosoutherngirl2595
    @sosoutherngirl2595 Рік тому +1

    This was such a profound eye opener for me!! Thank you both for sharing your stories…it’s amazing how much it resonated with me!!

  • @TruthandJustice-hz9nv
    @TruthandJustice-hz9nv Місяць тому

    This was absolutely tremendous, Thank you so much to both of you for this, I understand some people change but not all, Theres a difference between abusive relationships and healthy relationship, Abusive guys can wear masks and give appearance that they've changed, Make the best decision for yourself and don't let anyone pressure you, Domestic abuse is serious,, Good on you Mel for your support work for DV, Peace, love and respect to both of you, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)

  • @KiwikimNZ
    @KiwikimNZ Рік тому

    Listening to you Robbin I can identify with you so clearly! I am also adhd and I am so similar to you. The mdma experience sounds brilliant. The sooner that the stigma about these kinds of drugs is shifted the better. This drug was first used as a relationship drug and I do not know why this is not legal in circumstances like this.

  • @rosettesionne9139
    @rosettesionne9139 2 роки тому +2

    We can be all disrespectful at a specific point because we are humans the thing is just to acknowledge it and take accountability if someone tells us that we crossed a line. However, I noticed that narcissists and anti-social personalities are champions in pointing out the flaws and inappropriate behaviors of others, I call them police officers because when you do something hurtful to a narcissist he/she will not waste a second throwing it in your face... The issue is, it is not reciprocal, when narcissists do something to you dare tell them to their face and be prepared for a narcissistic rage. As an example, a husband always says to his wife to take out the trash can but she ALWAYS forgets, the husband couldn't take anymore and he became physically violent... Now she never forgets to take out the trash. However, the husband once got late and the wife got angry at him and shouted at him and the husband became violent again because her wife was "disrespectful" Narcissists have very EXTREME ways to "discipline" people.

  • @bibi46599
    @bibi46599 2 роки тому

    I love the theme of the interview.
    Thanks a lot

  • @mindfulness808
    @mindfulness808 Рік тому +1

    At 27:53, "I'm your hired helper" is not a feeling according to non-violent communication. Use "I feel irritated" instead.

  • @nolalawrence2457
    @nolalawrence2457 Рік тому +1

    They very obviously have not experienced narcissism personally. I respect Mel deeply as a motivational force,but they both give even a clue as to how insidious it can be.

  • @itzaliadenizard1933
    @itzaliadenizard1933 2 роки тому +1

    Omgosh I loved this video it was full of great information thank you so much Lisa and Mel. Keep up the great work 👍

  • @mkaymadsen
    @mkaymadsen 2 роки тому +4

    Just a thought, working together to solve the box problem in a way that respects both of you is healthy. I don't think it's proper to just say you must crush the boxes for me to feel respected. Perhaps there is a solution that works for both of you, but it requires meeting halfway and being willing to talk about the challenges both of you face with the boxes.

    • @SamStone1964
      @SamStone1964 Рік тому

      They could just find someone who will collect the boxes and reuse them. Simple.

  • @mairahernandez2099
    @mairahernandez2099 2 роки тому

    Tip for Mel: I hate cutting down boxes too but I’d you push the box in on itself on its sides it makes it waaaaayy easier to break them down.

    • @SamStone1964
      @SamStone1964 Рік тому

      Put them on Craig's list instead of sending them to landfill. But only if you find someone decent to collect them regularly.

  • @amylynn7881
    @amylynn7881 Рік тому

    I have been working on the exact issue (trying to learn that I can’t make someone happy) …. In my trauma therapy …. For months and months while getting the courage to leave my abusive husband…. It feel like I have a disconnect. I think I’m logical and just can’t seem to make that concept connect. When I’m sad and someone is kind and helps it makes me happy. So others make me happy… but that came from me? Why do I struggle with understanding this concept SOOO MUCHHH. I left my husband and am still addicted to making him happy. After months and months and months of trying to learn I CANT MAKE HIM HAPPY

  • @alexandram.mueses1939
    @alexandram.mueses1939 Рік тому

    great this woman is really honest and clear! Love it

  • @juliecostello42
    @juliecostello42 Рік тому +2

    "You have to change.."
    "Ok, i'm open to that, what should I change?"
    "I don't know you have to change.." Sure is an unproductive conversation. Then when you realize there was never anything you were really supposed to change, painful

  • @marlynarteagasolisrobinson
    @marlynarteagasolisrobinson Рік тому

    I don't give away my boundaries anymore.

  • @RoseMary-gl4ee
    @RoseMary-gl4ee Рік тому

    Thanks Lisa for this interview! Mel speaks of nervous de-regulation in the body, this is perfect. Dr LePera also does this.
    Good job Lisa!!!

  • @sayusayme7729
    @sayusayme7729 2 роки тому +2

    Yes, awesome. All of us can change. Love this so much!
    💚

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 2 роки тому +2

    My husband and I will have chats about what's annoying each other like he tells me to bring the garbage bin into our back yard instead of up the side of the house and so when I think if it I will go out and retrieve it. I've done it more than once, because I spend more time in the house he expects it - my argument usually is I'm busy taking care of things in the house, the washing cooking and cleaning and I don't mind doing everything but when he goes look the bin as he's pulling into our driveway I'm just like I forgot. Don't forget my Mom calls like a few times a day and my mind is here and there plus I also know that I need to take the time to self care (obviously I don't have any children yet lol) but that's what I do. He did moan I always leave the butter out but I'm getting good at putting that back but as I do clean, you know? I'm proud of my house and he comes back from work and pills all his duty work clothes on the floor after I've cleaned. It can take a turn for the patronising cos he'll go you are tired and that's why I'm kicking off or he doesn't think to try and clean the bath after he's done and I just think it's unfair on me the next morning. So, I am annoyed when he makes a mess. I'm not saying he doesn't help me or take over I'd gladly let him but I have got to the point where because I like to take things on because I feel like I'm being a good wife, a good homeowner - that I need help and by help I mean either doing the washing up after food but mostly not making a mess after himself. He doesn't need to take on anything extra but clean after his shit

  • @danielalarsen7746
    @danielalarsen7746 Рік тому +1

    I wish this video had a different title - sharing with anyone sounds like you are accusing them of being toxic, puts up defensive walls and completely kills the amazing message that follows. I’d love a version with the title like “Recognizing how how you are contributing to toxic behavior patterns in a relationship”. If you can do that and share it with me I would be ever so grateful!

    • @SamStone1964
      @SamStone1964 Рік тому

      Clickbait titles are disappointing.

  • @madelinebigio7565
    @madelinebigio7565 2 роки тому +3

    She literally explain my situation 😢😮❤❤❤❤

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @amyp9010
    @amyp9010 2 роки тому +1

    I love what I'm listening to it's learning thing for me and myself and my relationship and my former relationship however I haven't heard about the three signs that he doesn't respect you

  • @lovenature893
    @lovenature893 11 місяців тому

    Lisa, your podcasts are marvelous!
    Insightful.. Empowering!! Thank you, thank you, thank you enormously!
    Nevertheless... please, please, please! drop the adds from the content... Even if they are yours... Maybe one time inserted at the end is enough... I honestly feel it breaks the flow this: "relationships are hard work or not"...
    You build up so much momentum magic to party poop with this add...🎈
    Lots of love to you and everyone actively involved in this uplifting intention to help evolve together through these podcasts...!
    This comment is truly expressed with lots of gratitude for your content!!!

  • @janetfoote4769
    @janetfoote4769 2 роки тому +2

    Cussing is definitely toxic behaviour!!!

  • @nicoles.5296
    @nicoles.5296 2 роки тому +1

    Thanks a lot for this... this is something everyone should see 😊💖🙏

  • @annadonahue3134
    @annadonahue3134 Рік тому +1

    @Womenofimpact Please please please choose a different/better title for this incredible and amazing discussion of beneficial methods and results of deep and intense communication in relationship!!!!

  • @JillSpeaksTruth
    @JillSpeaksTruth 2 роки тому +1

    This is so relatable! Love the practical examples.

  • @shelly936
    @shelly936 2 роки тому +2

    I absolutely Love these two powerful ladies!

    • @vic9483
      @vic9483 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/channels/q6mNaHkvA2XmE40uuo6Alg.html

  • @amyp9010
    @amyp9010 2 роки тому +5

    I'm not hearing about the three signs that he doesn't respect you

  • @name-ce7sn
    @name-ce7sn Рік тому

    Part of the emotional abuse is not having our boundaries respected so continuing to put boundaries and saying them causes conflict and potentially dangerous situations. Can't win.

  • @kyriakizafeiriadou7681
    @kyriakizafeiriadou7681 Рік тому

    A narcissistic person does not want and cannot change.

  • @annadonahue3134
    @annadonahue3134 Рік тому

    16:00 key point ... Mom unhappy > must be my fault > Guilt > begins anxiety in us
    Very intense conversation between you two ladies today! Truth-seekers rule!

    • @annadonahue3134
      @annadonahue3134 Рік тому

      20:00 amazing truth, again

    • @annadonahue3134
      @annadonahue3134 Рік тому

      23:00 garden -variety BS that happens in many relationships...
      A list of situations demanding that you look at yourself first.
      Excellent.

    • @annadonahue3134
      @annadonahue3134 Рік тому

      51:00 the 14 year mark !!!
      Omgoodness!

  • @Traumatised311
    @Traumatised311 2 роки тому

    Self respect is important
    We don't live to please you

  • @staceface88
    @staceface88 2 роки тому +3

    Off topic but I’m a hairstylist and I honestly need to know, why only this hair? Two rows and the side part? It’s cute. But I’m stuck on this. I can’t even focus in these videos anymore until I get an ansr. Again. You’re adorable but I need to k ow

  • @RinaRina10
    @RinaRina10 2 роки тому +2

    The current title of this conversation doesn’t do it justice. This talk is a wealth of information about women taking personal accountability.

  • @arbedllebeiz9944
    @arbedllebeiz9944 Рік тому

    Excellent interview. Thank you!

  • @KeziahMuthoni
    @KeziahMuthoni 2 роки тому +1

    You're watching two accomplished women who are extremely different but similar in different ways. I think the title was more click bait than necessary and there were a lot of contradictory statements but I kinda got the overall message. Not one and a half hour long necessary but I picked something.

  • @shunwilliams6180
    @shunwilliams6180 Рік тому

    Thank you so much for sharing this amazing video ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @amyp9010
    @amyp9010 2 роки тому +1

    I don't know I'm like 10 minutes into this I love it

  • @annadonahue3134
    @annadonahue3134 Рік тому

    1:00:30 absolute diamond of relationship insight...

  • @hillaryh.5197
    @hillaryh.5197 Рік тому +2

    She just described narcissistic parents. Neurotypical parents don’t make love contractual. Sad.

  • @mercip7581
    @mercip7581 2 роки тому +2

    But how do you handle when you’re partner makes it that you are controlling them when something bothers you.. like the “boxes”