CREEPS ON THE STREET
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- nothing says sexy quite like street harassment...
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RESOURCES & FURTHER READING
I Holla Back - www.ihollaback.org
Why you shouldn't tell that random girl on the street that she's hot -
freethoughtblog...
Street harassment posted to UA-cam - www.stopstreeth...
Woman flattered complete stranger would say something so nice about her tits -
www.theonion.co...
SUMMARY
In this video I rant about my experiences with street harassment. I talk about what street harassment is and why it is not a compliment. Then I talk about what it feels like to experience street harassment, how it's misogynistic, and offer ways (some serious, some not) that you can respond.
a stunt i want to try:
1) wear form fitting clothes for more appeal
2) wear fangs and demonic red contacts that cover the entire eye
3) wear sunglasses and creepy eye makeup underneath
4) whenever someone catcalls me, i just smile at them for a few secs, then quickly take off my sunglasses and hiss at them like a cat
5) film their reactions and post it on youtube
can you please, that would make my day 😊
Please please please someone should do this!
I need to see this
yasssssss
Yeah, goth fashion usually don't make them afraid or anything, just switch the cat calls for a bro laugh with a few comments like "look, a goth chic" or "witch", "satan worshipper", "morticia addams" (at least those guys know their classics), "the exorcist" and other but I don't remember them all.
And sometimes you have those bros who think that because I'm dressed all black with weird eyes and dark makeup, I'm freak a in the sheet, and/or a dom and like bondage and all. I also have guys say they would pay me.
So, you know, smile and wave even when you're dressed like a sexy dracula doesn't change a thing. Maybe just made them think they can bang you.
Source : I dress like that everyday (minus the fangs maybe, I don't wear them everyday)
The first time I was ever catcalled, I was 13. I liked it that one time. It was the first time I'd ever been noticed for my body. The guy was also in a moving car, and I was with my sister and her boyfriend, so I didn't feel threatened. I've experienced a few catcalls, but none that ever made me afraid over the past several years.
A few months ago, I was alone at a laundromat (and it obviously didn't matter what I was wearing- tshirt and sweats) and a man followed me outside and offered to help me get my stuff into my car. I politely declined (even though I really did need help) and stepped to the other side of my car. He asked if I was married, and I told him I was seeing someone. He proceeded to tell me I would cheat, I wouldn't be myself when he was through with me, and he would tear me up. I felt incredibly threatened because I was outside in the dark and alone with him. I'm glad he left at that point because I was shaking. I found my knife and drove back to my apartment with it in my hand. Luckily, one of my really good guy friends happened to be outside, so he stayed with me for a few minutes until I felt safe-ish
That's creepiness. Confident flirters are those who were cat-calling you and noticing your appearance and complimenting on it. You won't believe how many woman don't know this.
mace, rape whistle and knife work for me.
i always walk around looking like i might kick someones ass though, so i dont usually get bothered
***** I, myself, have continued this habit and haven't been harrassed since. I literally think in my head when I walk in public, "murder".. hoping that I'll finally be left alone. Which is completely fucking sad and ridiculous, I hate it.
Just to name a few experiences: I was eighteen when I once passed a guy when I entered a department store, realized that I parked my car in the other end of the mall, I turned around to walk back into the main mall and this huge guy (probably 6 and a half feet tall and easily in his mid thirties) was staring at me. He stopped me as I walked by, introduced himself we shook hands and I said goodbye. He proceeded to follow me across the entirety of the mall attempting to keep a conversation going. Asking me "So, are you a married woman?" and I innocently enough said "No" however he came closer and then said "SO you're single!" and proceeded to say creepier and creepier things asking where I was from, upon finding out I was from Virginia he said "Oh, isn't that the place where all those people got shot?" It got to the point that I had to fake having a boyfriend to get him to lay off, even then, he still tried to give me his number saying that he wanted "to take me to the movies sometime" and said "you'd have my number so you could call me anytime" I continued to say no and keep walking, he eventually said "girl, you breakin' my heart" he eventually went away after several more refusals. I've even seen it at work, I work customer service, and once I was doing a return for a female customer when another male customer comes up and hits on her, saying he wanted to take her out to lunch, after she physically moved away from him and averted her eyes, she gave an obviously creeped out "no thanks" while he gave several other propositions "C'mon, you know you want to" and " we could leave right now" I had to physically stop what I was doing to butt in and tell him to back the hell off, saying "Sir, she said 'no' and that's the end of it" This in turn spurred the male customer to yell at me saying quote "Now you've made things awkward between us" and "you need to mind your own damn business" then promptly left. I only wish that I had somebody to help me in my time of need, everybody out there needs to stop that shit when they see it because I don't know anybody who appreciates this behavior.
"I only wish that I had somebody to help me in my time of need"
What do you mean?
As in, somebody who would personally step in and tell this complete stranger to back off. Similarly if you see somebody getting bullied, you step in and stop it. Because it's growing more and more common that my word alone is not good enough.
Just fucking tell him you're not interested and for him to go away. Then he won't need to waste his time.
As a bloke I've also been "cat called" on the street by women and I seriously don't see what the problem is.
I cycled past a group of girls and one of them screamed "Oi Wanker!" and her little mates were giggling.
There were other times where some bitch would just shout at me from the other side of the road. lol there isn't a problem
Women can't deal with rejection AND compliments?
That guy was clearly attracted to you so he spoke to you and you continued talking to him which gave the impression u wanted his dick. Next time be clear and don't give off the impression that you're "shit testing" him so that your rejection is a test
ShyanTheLegend Careful with phrases like "shit testing", it gives away that you've been pulled into the pickup-artist/mens-rights groupthink. That stuff is really persuasive if you aren't well informed, or if you're young. PUA/MRA people are predators.
ShyanTheLegend that would prevent him from buying her stuff and being used while he persues her though
Amazing to see women sharing their stories and then assholes coming along and telling them they're wrong and/or lying. Amazing.
Pisses me off
***** oh sorry
***** I like how the dickface called me a trans and then you called me unnatractive while trying to defend me! damn it i cannot win =p haha [not mad, just joking o/]
i'm hot tho, fuck that dickface.
and thanks for the support on this comment omg
+Mark Mullins True, but we have long evolved past the point of needing to satisfy that need with indiscriminate, mindless sex and rape. We have evolved enough to be able to be respectful towards each other... At least, I hope.
***** you were also built to be respectful and to have common sense. If you're really gonna say cat calling is a way to reproduce, then you just gave stupidity a whole new meaning.
Something about this video was offensive to me. The ebonics affectation when playing the perpetrators was only a small part of it. I just get the feeling that Laci is one of those women who wants *selective* attention from guys on the street - it's the undesirables who get labeled "creeps." Reminds me of that SNL skit about sexual harassment training. The most outlandish activity from good looking guys was considered A-okay.
Of course she wants selective attention from guys on the street. She doesnt want the seuxal harassment crap, she wants more positive compliments. (As in someone goes up to her, and says something like "hey..um..hi. You're very pretty.." or something nice like that. I dont see how thats offensive to NOT want to have someone sexually harassing you. lol
You mean Merve the perve skit on SNL? I think the skit you are referring to is the one with collin farrel or something. That was hillarious.
It's amazing how many creeps talk about that skit as if it's gospel (It was Tom Brady, I'm not at all surprised that you didn't know who played the character but had no problem spewing the wrong name.. This sketch actually comes much closer to capturing sexual harassment"
screencrush.com/snl-cut-sketch-wing/
Unlike the Tom Brady SNL sketch, it doesn't matter how someone looks when they're harassing you. I will say that "Hey, you're very pretty" is still annoying, because I'm not out and about to "get selective attention," I'm out getting place to place; work, home, errands, out with my friends. If I wanted someone to comment on my looks, I'll ask a friend or a lover. If I want to find a new person to date, I'll go somewhere where I can meet people with whom I'm likely to have something in common.
***** It wasn't the words, it was the way the words came out. It wasn't, "Wow, you look really nice," It was "You look..." *insert creepy onceover* "Really nice."
Well you can't understand if you haven't experienced it yourself. I don't care if the person who is catcalling me is attractive or not. It is creepy no matter what. Most of the time I don't even see the faces of my catcallers, as I don't stare at people when I walk down a street.
One day, I was just waiting for a train at a station, when 5 guys just started speaking to me saying "Hey you ! Don't you want to have sex with him ?*pointed at one of the guys* " And when I responded, clearly, "no" they just asked "what, you don't find him beautiful ?" And as I was pissed off I said : "Just leave me alone". And then they started to insult me, following me, nearly making me cry.
I have other examples like that. Most of the time the catcaller's compliments aren't even real, like sometimes they don't even see my face, like I wear a skirt and I get "compliments" like "you're pretty" from guys who ARE BEHIND ME AND DIDN'T SEE MY FACE and just saw a pair of legs. So, NO, I want attention from NO ONE and I think it's the same for lacigreen.
But yeah, maybe very RARELY some guys really meant it but most of the time these so-called "compliments" aren't nice at all. Sexual harrassment on the street (and anywhere else) is creepy, EVEN IF THE PERSON IS ATTRACTIVE OR NOT.
Plus, when I'm walking down a street, I don't want attention from guys. I just want to be left alone, to mind my own business without creepy stares at my body from guys. I have a boyfriend, I'm not looking for compliments in the streets, I get enough from him, also I just don't need compliments to exist, you know ?
And somebody like lacigreen who promotes self confidence, self love, etc, just doesn't "want attention" like you said. We just don't need it.
I'm reading through these comments, and it seems like most of the men really don't know that they're being creepy.
They know they just choose to ignore it
I wasn't an example of the catcalling, but I was a huge example of creepy staring. I didn't realize I was being creepy until I saw a friend's Facebook post on that topic. I'm not sure if it's that they know and choose to ignore it. Many of them, probably. Others, probably not.
When I was 13 a really creepy woman followed me for 3-4 blocks. holding my hand, and holding it really tight. And "flirting" with me. She said she is going with me wherever I wanted and I was like What is wrong with you lady, leave me alone. She said "late, im already in love". Then she asked if we are going to have sex and where. That scared the hell out of me, I almost screamed "leave me alone", and when I got rid of her I just ran. I wasnt far from home so yeah... that is my worst experience
Épine Haze Oh god that's so creepy. I'm glad that you're safe.
Épine Haze Glad you got out of that shit, you were about to get kidnapped.
+Mark Mullins lol I hope your not actually serious
+Mark Mullins Tell me you're joking.
No. Shut up, you aren't a feminist.
Once I was walking home from school and these teenage boys noticed me say goodbye to my friends and walk away. Of course this was there calling because they realised that I would be walking home alone. After following me for about 15 minutes I plucked up the courage and said "Excuse me, I don't recognise you but I've noticed that you're following me. What's your deal?" The biggest out of the two stared at me intensely and practically groped me whilst calling me sexy. I was 11 years old and I slapped him and ran away. I didn't walk alone for a year because who knows what could have happened afterwards. I didn't tell anyone for ages because I was ashamed and I didn't feel strong.
i'm so sorry that this happened to you
That's awful! A similar thing happened to my younger cousin, who is only 12 years old. She came home in tears because while she was jogging, a man driving by yelled incredibly explicit things at her until slowing to a stop, laughing from his car while watching her feel uncomfortable and following her for a good ten minutes in his car, yelling. He was also with a group of friends--this has all gone too far.
***** I think you were incredibly brave to confront them and in no way was anything they did acceptable or anything other than harrassment and assault.
***** you had no right to hit the guy
genny fasnacht they did not assault her. was it creepy, yes but it was not assault. also she was very stupid not brave to confront them. first she is out numbered 2nd you never know is somebody has a gun on them
One time I walked past a guy and he slapped my butt. You should have seen the look on his face when I turned around and almost scratched his face off with my nails. xD
Moral of the story: Don't bite your nails, girls! They can be very useful when they are long! lol
***** I'm 14 and he was an old man, btw.
I love this
Well done.
When I see guys creeping up on a girl I instantaneously start creeping up on them, I love to see their faces transform from "macho man" to "OMG my butt is gonna hurt"
+tealosophy You, my fine man, are a hero. Much love. ^^
+ElKulichi777 typical troll....
+ElKulichi777 she even states guys if you see women being harrassed dont be afraid to call them out. so no hes not being a white knight theres a thing called standing up for women. if a girl stood up for a other girl youd just dismiss it and be like oh whatever, but no just because a guy stands up fora girl being harrassed he instantly turns into a "white knight".
+tealosophy unfortunately for you, you dont notice me sneaking up on your butt while you are so distracted by the other dudes.........
You. i like you. Give this man a cookie!
What makes me more angry than anything is when I tell my mother or girlfriends about being 'Harassed on the Street' and they laugh and say I should appreciate getting attention:(
No guys, nobody needs a stranger's validation in any way, women can and have to live without anybody's approval because we only need acceptance from OURSELVES.
Catcalling is therefore no compliment, it is taking for granted that a person is unworthy unless somebody is there to scream it at them, and furthermore invading somebody's privacy, making them feel uncomfortable or scared in any way is simply disgusting. We are not public property, we are not just "sexy", "pretty"or whatever you think you need to call us, we are a lot more than that, and most importantly, not there for anybody's appreciation, just for ourselves.
Missy Misfit, stay brave, those around you will start understanding, it just takes time and lots of conversations... Stay strong! :)
I 100% AGREE WITH YOU
Your mother's been around longer than you have, yes? So then maybe she knows a thing or three.
You can tell which dudes cat call down in the comments by their CRAZY hypersensitivity and objections to this video, because any woman will tell you what she is saying is 100% true.
Can you tell this because you've been a man before? Otherwise, how exactly can you tell this? Sounds like imaginative speculation, sort of like what the video's complaints seem to rely on.
Okay, how's this then... It doesn't take rocket science or "imaginative speculation" to realize that any average, run of the mill man agrees that the idea that cat calling is disrespectful. Those that don't are either ignorant or do it themselves, because otherwise why would they side against something so blatantly obvious?
Would any man want another man to grab his genitals, make kissing noises, or make a sexual comment towards his girlfriend, his sister, his mother, or any woman he loves for that matter? If the answer is no, then that is proof enough that cat calling is degrading. If that individual wouldn't care if a loved one is spoken to in that way, then I have nothing to say to them.
Shantal2501 I'd never cat call you. You look like you require much more tact.
I really see your point of view and I find it very interesting to engage you as an equal. Want to never go on a date Unless you pay for me?
I love how some people are talking about lacie's boobs even though she just said stop being creeps
I started getting 'cat calls' when I was 9, by fully grown men. It happened a lot, and only when I was alone or with my female friends (one of my friends was 8 when I was 9 and she had it too). I've had them ever since. I don't know if it's just where I'm from where the harassment starts that early, but it was horrible. We got chased a lot and we weren't as fast as the men so we hid and were extremely lucky to not get caught. One time, when I was about 13, a group of about 15 men chased my friend and me through a field when we were walking back home, we hid in a bush and stayed there until they ran past.
What country do you live in and how did you learn to use the English language so well?
Totally missing the point bob. Doesn't matter what language she speaks or where she resides that is just effed up
Wow, those comments made me a little nauseous, tbh.
One time I was out and these three men started calling out at me "hey... nice legs... nice tits..." And these men were like, old enough to be my GRANDFATHER.
Fortunately I was with my boyfriend who approached them directly and said, "What is wrong with you? What makes you think that's okay? She's a human being, not some sexual toy. Leave her alone and have some respect" and just walked away leaving them speechless. I felt proud of him ^w^
I want a relationship like that
Relationship goals!! Those men are fucking crazy. Your boyfriend was there and they still did that?!?!
YourFrienemyGrace omg i thought u wrote one of those men WAS ur grandfather! prompts to ur bf btw
YourFrienemyGrace Ha my bf would have smack their wrinkled asses lol
That is the best boyfriend ever!
as a male i say the world needs more woman like your self mad respect
I was walking down the street in my own neighborhood, when some guy pulls up to me and asks me to prostitute for him. Like how about I throw a brick at your car.
I'm watching a lot of your videos. I genuinely appreciate you. You're smart and articulate and your videos not only reflect that but are engaging and have a super cute aspect to them.
I'm really sorry that you even have to deal with the kinds of negative, misogynistic, everything-phobic, ignorance of those that don't care or get offended because they are guilty of bad behavior themselves.
I'm so glad you are here and that you have this channel. Thank you.
I'm male, I've been cat called. My friends are male, they've been cat called. This isn't just a female problem
Sciencymiency That sucks, I totally empathise. I didn't know this happened to guys too.
LeakinBrolly Not everything is a gender problem you know, this is a people problem.
This isnt a problem at all, its people expressing their biology, theres no problem. Only if they are too sexualized is when it becomes a problem.
Sciencymiency Sorry, I sounded really ignorant there.
Sciencymiency Same here, I've been cat called several times by girls.
It's funny seeing a group of people, men in this case, who typically don't experience street harassment, or not nearly on the scale that women do, telling women who do go through it that they're "overreacting," to "ignore it," and that it's "not a big deal" and "the poor guy was just trying to get to know you." All these things do is minimize the horrible experience of street harassment and trivialize women's feelings of it. And that's privilege for you, because if harassment was more commonly placed on a larger scale, where men were harassed just as often and just as aggressively as women, then the men saying that "it's no big deal" would be having a different tune right now. Privilege = pretending an issue doesn't exist because your gender is unlikely to experience at all, or not on a common level.
+Mark Mullins well that is disgusting
+Mark Mullins when I was ten My second cousin tried to get under my shirt to touch my chest and I broke his nose.... he never tried that again
a lot of angry guys commenting on this video don't seem to understand that there's a HUGE difference and clear line between expressing interest in a woman you don't know and engaging her in conversation and making unwanted comments about her appearance and /or trying to force her to talk to you, especially when she's expressed that she's not interested
except sometimes that line isnt really huge at all....its kinda blurred. Some people are gonna find ANY comment on their appearance from innocent "love your new hair" to full harassment "hey baby lets fuck" offensive...
Today I was getting off the bus, when this creepy hobbit old guy stopped to let me out. I was very happy and was about to go when I saw that he stood there with his arms open, looking at me up and down licking his lips and then yelled "COME on DOLL.." like in a luring manner. As if the only reason I was getting out of my seat was to go to him. I said thank you anyway and just walked off abruptly. When behind me I could hear him yelling out "Ohh!! What a beauty!" and then following me until I went around the corner. A lot of people probably think this is just a bizarre one off incident, but it happens so often, and to all the girls I know. And the thing is, not that this should make a difference how civilised someone should act, but I wasn't even wearing make up, or dressed in a certain way, I was tired after a day at Uni. So it was really totally disgusting. Although even if I was dressed up and looking especially good, it should be no reason for I to suddenly become a floating steak. I mean okay you are allowed to like someone but you don't have to be a creep.
You are allowed to like someone just keep it to yourself.
That does not apply to you story anyway.
So humm... you are suggesting that if that hobbit old creep was a hot young muscular gentleman, and his way of speaking and behaving would have been more subtle, you would still be disgusted, right?
iTroozTrooperDown
His appearance has nothing to do with it, the problem here is the behaviour. I would be disgusted if someone behaved that way around me regardless if they were 'my type' or not. So if this person's way of speaking and behaviour were different, maybe I wouldn't be disgusted. It's not bad to compliment someone, it is bad to treat someone like meat. You know what I'm saying? Though personally even if in your scenario they were more subtle I'd still probably be creeped out simply because of the context.
Bob Pierre You're right. Appearance would make a difference. If he looked like Ryan Gosling I would have been 10x more pissed off and offended. Just because someone is 'good looking' doesn't make me for sale. That sort of arrogance is disgusting no matter how you look.
Nanciefy
You're so full of shit right now, you are actually making me cough and choke with laughter. My health is in actual danger, laughing at your lies. LOLOL!!!!
Ryan Gosling could slap you on the ass, whistle like a Teapot, and say: "Damn GIRL?! How you fit all that into those jeans"
The ONLY reply that would come from your BLUSHED face and grinning lips are: "I'll show you in the morning"
Bob Pierre
Ok lol.
I am 15 and 5'3"(160 cm). Lately I've been so scared of harassment and rape. I've been catcalled alot and I just don't feel safe. I learned from youtube and myself self-defense techniques. The problem is that I don't want to be helpless in this world. I don't want to be needed to learn how to poke someones eyes out in order to be safe. I want to be treated as a human and not as a dog or a sexdoll. I am the person that opens up my mouth if someone says something bad about me or catcalls me. The problem is that I'm tiny and it doesn't give much of an impact. And I can't stand that.
+Nobody xoxo I completely understand, as I am seventeen now, but the harassment started when I was 13, which is horrible in itself. I am also not exactly what someone would call 'tall' either. I just do anything I can to be safe. I don't walk on empty streets (especially at night), and if I can, I walk with someone else. I HATE that the world is this way, and sometimes I think some men should get a taste of their own medicine.
I think it's OK to politely walk up to a man or woman & say you think they're pretty or handsome. Of course it's all in how you do it. If a gay man walked up to me & said I was handsome, if he did it in a respectful way, I would be flattered & thank him for the thought. I would then continue on with my day smiling inside. But then again, this never happens, neither from gay men or women, so I don't know what is like to face it twenty times.
If I see a woman, who's particularly attractive, walking down the street, I don't cat-call. I just stand, staring like a dumb-founded, slack-jawed, idiot. If she looks my way, I avert my gaze and try to look innocent. :)
A guy at school made an unwelcome advance on me while I was cosplaying Misa from Deathnote. I told him (In a very similar voice to hers in the anime) "Shut up or I'll write your name in my Deathnote!"
This creep winked at me from his cars and my first instinct was to make the most ugly face I could and the, the guy just drives off terrified.
There was this guy in my class who kept on saying very disturbing comments to a lot of the girls in my class, like, "Nice buns" "I like your tits" he kept on saying this even when the girls told him not to so we told the teachers and he got into really big trouble.
sini Karjalainen And there you go, guess you've found the solution, it's nice knowing that you have a brain :)
***** Wtf is your problem bitch?
***** What did I do? I am just sharing my experience!
***** *Slow clap*
sini Karjalainen i bet if he looked like a stud and winked at you from his sportscar you wouldn´t consider him a "creep" the female hypocrisy knows no boundaries.
btw with the way you look you better get used to attracting "creepy" guys cause no george clooney would even look at you LOL
I go on a 3 mile walk most days with my dog. I have a Wolf hybrid who is very large and very well trained. So when I go on my walk, on a back road, he is off the leash. He was way behind me, sniffing around when a guy coming from ahead of me, decides to be creepy and started making unwanted advances, I assumed he didn't see my dog. I called my dog… my dog came running and was not amused and let it be known to the guy that he was too close. The guy apologized and actually went to the opposite side of the road.
Wow, my sister likes dogs more than me and she's always been wanting one, but my parents have always said "no". Now if my sister told them that another reason for getting a dog is that they can protect you from sexual harassment/assault... That would really make them think. I've never thought about that before. Then again, my parents will probably not get her the dog so that she doesn't to leave the house so often... Jeez, the more I think about it, the more twisted that is that that would happen. It really says something about the world.
Sorry, I just went off, but what I wanted to say: I'm glad your dog was there for you! =)
Laci, I think the most effective response was the crazy girl with low self-esteem who waited her whole life to be called "sexy". Red flags were going off all over my male brain when I saw that one. And if she started asking where I lived and if I liked babies, I think a normal male reaction would be to run for dear life!
this is actually a useful bit of information from a male mind. CRAZY IS KEY GIRLS, crazy is key haha.....unless they like that kind of a thing...then you're screwed.
Odd, plenty of comments from people on here saying that Laci's acting-out of harassers is "racist" because she was somehow being "stereotypically black". Umm. Is anyone else watching the video over and wondering how these examples of harassment are "black"? She's not affecting an ebonics dialect, she's talking in a slightly stylized version of her normal accent. Hats worn backwards and sports jerseys are now widely worn by white guys too, you'd have to have gone to some isolated Christian Academy type school to be unaware of this in 2014...
Seriously, are some commenters here just trapped in the 80's or something? Or are they just looking for a way to attack the video and coming up with a "racism" angle because they're unable to tackle its points re: sexism head-on?
No disrepect or offense meant here but I'm still trying to understand this. Because someone else gets emotionally bent out of shape over someone else complimenting them, it's automatically creepy or misogyny? I've gotten complimented by lots of (gay and straight) women and (straight and gay) guys out in public and I never got bent out of shape about it. Is it still creepy? Maybe, I'm just not very emotional. But let me just reiterate, I'm just trying to understand her point. Personally, I don't want society to turn into something where its not acceptable to talk to other strangers in public without it seeming strange, rapey or creepy. People shouldn't assume that everyone's "out to get them", until proven otherwise.
I agree 100%. Which is why I disagree with Laci 100%.
I've watched quite a few of her videos to try and understand where she is coming from too. They are all the same sadly. Women are victims. That's why I will always disagree with her and feminism because I don't believe that BS. You make life what you want it, you think you're a victim, you will be one. None of the women in my life are victims which is why they are not feminists.
but only so many men will start with a simple "compliment" such as "you're beautiful/cute" most of them say things such as "you're sexy" (which is invasive as fuck or "hey ____, what's up/other question" and if a woman does not want to engage back with him IT'S HER RIGHT why do so many who commit street harassment get defensive when they are rejected then!? That's so disrespectful a woman does not owe you a glance or a word or her time just because a man wants it!
thfjamal You clearly do not understand feminism or Laci's objectives in any way. Here is a video that might help you. WHY I'M A...FEMINIST *gasp* :)
Jade Niles Craig Yes it is her right. They are defensive because someone just basically said they aren't worthy enough. Their ego was just insulted, they are going to be defensive about it. But you know an even better response? "Thank you, but I'm not interested". Can the cat caller still it as an insult? Yeah, but people will take anything as an insult, case and point the whole reason this video was made.
People need to quit acting like freaking children and grow up.
And good god, quit saying "men" do this, and "men" do that. Men aren't the only ones that make cat calls to people on the streets. If you don't like cat calls, then at least be equal about it like feminist claim to be.
I think she means that you just have to be conscientious of how you act towards a woman or a man. The examples she gave are probably most of the things "creeps" do. There is a line that can't be crossed with flirting going onto the "creepy" side aka inappropriate. If you are attracted to a woman or man approach them politely and give them a compliment that doesn't consist of anything like "sexy" or anything of that sort. :)
This is something that I've never experienced in Sweden (where I live). But as soon as I visited California this happened daily! I was so confused since I've seen it in movies and heard people talking about it but I thought they over exaggerated. Hell I was wrong. Just walking down the road and some guys just slow down put their head out of the window to start whistling and yelling stuff like: "Hey guurl!! You're looking fine! Come on, wont you ride with us?" When I flipped them off they laughed and got even worse with the yelling. And another dude came up to me in Forever 21 saying: "Hey girl... whatcha doing? You've got some nice tits!". I stared at him with huge eyes and started speaking weird shit on swedish, but still he didn't go away -.-'
it embarrasses me as a male that frustration like this exists. why can't everyone just see and treat people as people, not as objects that can be picked up and f**ked? it is heartening to see the comments here tho, with considerate males showing our faces and speaking out.
Lacie, i became a fan of yours from the D-News youtube channel. am happy to subscribe to this one, you do such a good and informative job. keep up the good work :)
Creepy men don't represent you, so why feel ashamed?
because i am also a man
Jeff pyrotek A small minority of men don't represent you though...
that is true, but that small minority deserve to be told, by myself and by other men as well as by women, that they are WRONG and they are FUCKTARDS who never EVER deserve to get laid. have you ever heard of passive compliance? i'm not willing to do that. neither should any other person. if that lines me up for attack, better me (and i am capable of defending myself) than someone else (who might not be so capable)
btw .. just heard about the death threats that have been levelled in Laci's direction. that's disgusting. they come from another small minority of people, but it the responsibility of EVERYONE to tell such people that they are WRONG and they are FUCKTARDS, because if you sit by and watch your neighbour get attacked and DON'T do anything about it, how long do you think it'll be before the lynch mob comes after YOU?
edit: Laci has since done another video :D good on you, Laci, you're strong and honest and people love you for that. keep it up :)
bless you sir. bless you. i've seen so much bad crap, a lot from guys who are either doing it directly to me or guys who don't understand. but if there's anything in the world that gives me hope, its meeting people like you who do realize that there's hope. I really, really appreciate that.
My favorite thing to do is walk around pretending to be gay and hit on guys doin this sort of shit and then ask them how it made them feel, usually they say something like awkward or creepy, and I hope it teaches them to stop.
sure... you "pretend" to be gay.
Nah man, unless... you like it that way ;)
ooolala
Its all fun and games until someone gets raped in the butt ;p
LeffeRoyal well that escalated quickly
Even if done "nicely", a stranger walking up to you & telling you you're beautiful (not even "sexy" or "hot" or "tappable") it's weirs. Sure, it's not degrading or anything, but guys - just think about it. If anyone (not necessarily someone you're sexually attracted to - an elderly person, another dude, etc.) stopped to tell you you had "nice arms" or were "handsome" or "hot" or even just looked at your butt & said "DAYUM!" wouldn't you think there might be something a little weird going on with them upstairs? I realise that this has been normalised for women, & yapping about it does jack shit, but I still love the idea of a reality where this ISNT reality. Nowhatimmean?
I was called hot once.....I just took it as a very nice compliment and walked on. Men don't give a shit if we're flirted with confidently, some of us like it, same for woman. I once called a woman beautiful and she said "I am?" and blushed like mad. It really depends on delivery but most of the time their just confident flirts and woman need to chill and know the difference.
knightace2002 if you feel complimented by this attention then that's fine, but how can you speak for women? even if the delivery is gentle and none aggressive how can you just assume that a woman isn't intimidated, confused or may even be suspicious that she's being made fun of? you can't. bottom line, you should never just assume that a stranger is gonna take that kind of attention as a compliment.
genny fasnacht true but you've got a logical brain, use it. Woman getting worked up over something so simple and so small is idiocy at best. To me it's just plain stupid that woman feel "offended" or "Harassed" when called hot or beautiful or whatever. It makes a lot of men uncomfortable or even confused when they tell'em to fuck off when it's only long distance flirting for the more confident people.
Point is people get so worked up over something so simple or small that it can be dealt with by ignoring it and just walking on, do not engage do not be rude, do not be mean (if you don't like him) and maybe flirt a little or "show-off" if you like him. Simple as that it's not rocket science.....well maybe it is because you have to understand a male's brain to get it but other than that if you don't like the attention or don't like the person just ignore it they usually always stop afterwards (the sensible ones which is like.....the majority of them) If not then.....just keep walking and go into some random place.
*sigh* this is so simple lmfao. As for those who might feel like they're making fun of them.....they should really listen to the words and then decide instead of jumping to conclusions.
I was in the Underground when a stranger (im a metalhead obviously and with long hair) said "nice hair" and then he told me he listens to and we talked about 50min, it wasn't sexuall or anything and the moral of this story is: it shouldn't be weird when two strangers talk, because its human to communicate and you can even make friends with talking to strangers, even if its sexual (as long as it is nothing really inappropriate) it is okay because if you want something you will try to get it, and if he/she is nice and is just making conversation on a sexual base , you can just say no and go away, because somebody else won't say no and will be happy to meet this person (because of whatever reasons, women can also feel to want somebody to have sex with, without friendship) and if he wouldn't ask the persons he want he can't meet persons that want too... (every "he" in this text can be replaced with a "she")
knightace2002 No, see, what you're missing is typically, even with nicely-delivered compliments, if I say "thank you," men feel that opens them up to do/say more, or ask for my number, and then when I refuse, they get angry with me, as if they had a right to this information. If I ignore them, they treat me as though I'm rude. You say it's so "simple," but it isn't always. Google an article called "Schrodinger's rapist." It's a great read and will explain better than I ever could why street harassment makes women SO uncomfortable.
I'm on board with this. I did this a couple times when I was 16 or so, before I realized it was a douchy thing to do AND had the exact opposite effect I was hoping for.
How bout...
Boy:
Girl: Not interested.
Boy: K thx and have a good one.
Girl: Not a problem. (Maybe next time?) Bye.
Boy: Bye.
Boy\Girl: Tralalalala.
Yea but that makes sense. So it couldn't work.
Having long hair, there have been a couple of times men have thought I was a woman, and hollered at me. When I was a teenager, walking home from guitar lessons (and before I had a beard), a guy who was drunk said "Well hello babycakes." I just started laughing and kept walking.
The other time, I heard a couple of guys driving by shout "Hey!" I turned and faced them, and when they saw my beard they shouted "You look like a girl from the back!" I just walked on, and might have said something like 'whatever.' They responded by saying "Seriously!"
Actually a couple of weeks ago some guy was trying to get my attention with some rude gestures and comments, while I was sitting on the bus with one of my guy friends. And since he was some older guy in maybe his 40s or 50s and I'm 19 I ignored him. He didn't like that so when I was talking to my friend to "get back at me" for "rejecting" his advances he started to tell us "Shut the fuck up, girls." I continued to ignore him but to make a jab at me one more time he stood really close to us right before he got off the bus and made sure I heard him say, "Now I don't have to listen to that fat ass." He was talking about me! I wanted to rip his eyes out. My friend could have been my boyfriend, and that man wouldn't have known for sure! At first I was offended then I realized that that man was just an asshole and a creep.
***** 99% huh? That's an interesting statistic. Care to share your sources?
I see the man baby trolls have not found their way or this laci video. Love you laci.
That's because they all killed themselves already after watching her other videos. A moment of silence for those poor lost souls..................................................................
like if you cry for everything
+marishana meyer y black
I'm a guy and I completely agree with you.
"If your a grown man and you see a fifteen year old girl as anything but a child- There is something wrong with you, not what she is wearing"
what do you mean by "wrong"? because biologicly, we are suppose to see a 15 year old girl as a good candidit for the mother of my kids.
it's "only" wrong, because socity has decided that it's wrong.
the whole point of this vid' is that lacy seems to claim that socity sees it ok to make cat calls at 15 year old. your above coment proves that lacy is wrong.
That doesn't make sense? could you clarify?
Hiranya J
lacy is suggesting ways to deal with the "oh so common" cat calls she and others have been getting.
I, and many others, claim that she, and others like her, are exaggerating this rather benign behavior.
seems that you are among the people that think that only a few (sick individuals" do these cat calls (to young girls).
Thank you for your opinion; However, I would disagree, I would not call it all Benign and I would not call the men doing it sick. I will say that there are varying degree's of it, Talking from experience. When it has happened to me, and other girls I know, it doesn't make you feel good about yourself- It has made me feel uncomfortable, unsafe and as if I was not a human being but rather something they can gorp at. I do not feel the people who are doing it are sick, but rather mislead to believe that it is a compliment or that it is acceptable to do. Although many men/boys when confronted about it apologize once they realize it is unwanted; others make comments about what the child or women in question were wearing, as if wearing a vest top is asking to be catcalled. This same mentality also contributes to a rape culture, where people still ask what the victim was wearing. Thus my original comment "If your a grown man and you see a fifteen year old girl as anything but a child- There is something wrong with you, not what she is wearing"
To further back my point; Imagine a murder trial, whereby, the question was asked if the victim was wearing a bullet proof vest at the time. It is up to the person not to murder, not up to the victim to dress as not to be murdered.
I can see there are a lot of creeps in the comments that are mad at Laci calling them out. Harassment can happen to anyone (male or female) and it's never okay. Don't cross into someone's personal space unless you have permission, don't holler at someone you don't know, and don't lick your lips like an animal about to eat it's prey while inappropriately talking to a passer-by about how sexy they look. People saying that they have never experienced cat calling or verbal harassment from a stranger under the guise of a "compliment", you are lucky. It is extremely uncomfortable, makes you feel very vulnerable, unsafe, and looked at like an object and not a person. I live in a nice suburb and I have been cat called and verbally harassed as I walked to and from school since age 11. I couldn't believe that men my father's age would shout lewd comments as they drove by to a child, but it continued to happen, and it still happens. The feeling it gives you is hard to understand of you've never had it happen to you, but it is paralyzing and saddening. It is not a compliment; it is abusive, and me not being interested in street advances does not make me a bitch as I am often called by cat callers that are unsuccessful at getting a reaction from me.
Free speech baby. The First Amendment trumps your soap box.
Shannon, cat calling is no worse than what the Vietnam vets had to go through. Wayne from Sydney, Australia.
Is it hot for a girl to have a guy ti stick up for them? To tell the creep to have a bit of respect? I once asked a guy how he'd feel about someone doing that to their little sister, or mom, or daughter. He got pissed and left. She did say thank you to me.
If that had been me, I'd have thanked you too. In that kind of situation is great to
a) get rid of the creeper
b) be reminded that not all guys are like that
I would have said "thank you." I also recommend women watch out for one another. I had a guy take things a step farther a week ago, IN a store. I honestly think something was wrong with him. He stepped up to me and put his arm around me. I then drew attention to myself by dodging out and acting slightly deranged. Embarrassed at first when the other woman was right there, she actually complimented the way I handled the situation. I THANKED her, for getting involved.
***** he was probably a transsexual woman and had an operation
I'm not a native English speaker, but I think by "hot" you mean sexually attractive, am I right? If so I wouldn't say it's "hot". It will probably restore the girl's faith in humanity and she will feel safe with you. But in that kind of situation where she is being sexualized without wanting it, sex is the last thing a girl wants to think about.
Eric Taylor You just won this comment stream. Love it! I once called out a group of hole diggers on the street who put their shovels down and catcalled a woman almost in unison. It wasn't clever, but I did it anyway, and their hostility got directed at me instead of the woman. Anybody making comments like this needs to be called out.
As a guy, this is so infuriating when it happens to a friend or girlfriend. Unfortunatly, trying to call them out on it can sometimes lead to them trying to "prove" to the girl that they are "better" then me, and causes them to start harrassing both of us.
Ugh, that sounds frustrating. It's awesome that you stand up for the woman you're with, though! I'm curious, what do you say to try to call these harassers out on it?
That's How It Is
standing up for someone doesn't make you sexist it makes you a good person.
That's How It Is
You defend someone else not because of your or their gender, you defend them because you care and it's the right thing to do. It's society's problem, and everyone needs to work towards a solution no matter what their gender is.
Anandatic I will usually ask the girl i am with if it is bothering her, and if she says yes then I tell the guy harrassing her to stop because it is making her uncomfertable. I try to be as polite as posible too, that way they dont think i am trying to fight them.
That's How It Is if my guy friends were being harrassed i would stand up for them too. But that hasnt happened yet.
I LOVE this video! So spot on. I don't know what's going on these days but this street harassment crap has got to stop. And guys who think they're complimenting women by grabbing them or shouting obscene things at them really need to grab a dictionary, and some therapy. I had a guy "holla" at me on the street once in such a nice casual way that we ended up dating for a few months. There are ways to go about approaching a girl or woman that you like that don't involve her wanting to tase your ass. Learn them and make life better for everyone. Also, I agree 100% that guys who aren't creepers should really call out their creeper friends for doing shit like this. Don't make excuses for them. you're ultimately making things worse for yourselves.
Whoa girl calm down I was just trying to pay you a complement
Where the fuck did you learn to complement someone
FAV LINE EVER
Last summer i was with my little cousin (one year younger than me so she is 12-13) and my older cousin (she was 18), so we were walking to the store and this guy in his parked car whistled and screamed "Damn she has a fat ass" what the hell?? We just ignored them even though i wanted to call them out on it, but i was 13 and didnt want to get even more involved. That was so disgusting, i dont know why any girl would find that as a compliment
I used to genuinely not understand what the problem was with this until I saw some video where they have a hidden camera film all the street harassment and now it makes sense. As a man I would not be creeped out by one such incident happening to me, or even if it happened like... once a month, but if I had to deal with that on a regular basis it would really wear me down to the point where, yes, harassment becomes the right word. I understand that some men don't understand what the harm is in a single catcall because they're only thinking of it as that one time the woman has to deal with them, rather than all the time.
+Tommy Laukkanen Yea it would get annoying but come on bruh. People who dress in weird clothes get yelled at (not catcalled maybe but still "harassed") on the streets and they dont start a "3rd feminist wave" . I could deal with girls saying they want to have sex with me on a daily basis. probably none of them are going to rape me and if theyre hot they might just get to
Just because you didn't experience it doesn't mean it isn't real
Street harassment in London is terrible. I've experienced it before back in states but not nearly as often as I do here. :(
I'm so sorry you have to deal with such douchebags, i just wish that there were better laws to protect people from street harrasment!
Wait. Really? In London? I thought people were more intelligent and respectful down there than in the states.
I mean, I fucking love London, but this is a pretty glaring 'check your privileges' moment for white male me.
Guys, imagine if someone twice your size followed you around and said things like "Im going to tear your ass apart". I don't think you would like that.
+ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Ironically enough, this happens to guys too.
ZTPDrake7Kid No one said it doesn't.
***** I'm telling people that have never been raped and have never tried to put themselves in those people shoes to imagine.
+ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Of course i wouldn't like it, but at the same time i wouldn't use it as an excuse to complain an entire gender is harassed, or is somehow not equal to the other either.
27Bayleefs Are you serious?
I'm 14. I was walking down the street at around 3:30 pm. It was still light out. A man walked behind me and asked me where to get a room. I told him I didn't know. He asked me some questions like where I went to school. I told him that it was none of his business. He told me I had a nice ass and he told me to get a room with him. He touched my arm and gestured to follow him. I made a disgusted face and he walked away. I couldn't go anywhere because the street was to busy and any direction I walked he could follow. I'm so tired of being scared of men. I didn't leave my house (other than school) for a week.
How about you report. Maybe don't look at all men like rapists too.
+Rave Cat the entire world says that "boys will be boys" and "men can't help themselves"; anytime a girl doesn't assume a man is a rapist she is blamed for her assault. It isn't women's fault for being scared of men, it's people telling us to be from the time we can walk on our own
+Rave Cat haha, wow you are so edgy and cool you got me beat!!!
+Rave Cat maybe we wouldn't think of all men as creepy and rapists if men didn't do that shit. There are so many men that are like that we just think it's normal to be scared of men and that they're all creepy. And now you're going to say "they're not all like that!" I know.
+sorryitsanna you fucking triggered bro?
I'm genuinely curious if guys would ever try to catcall and harass a woman in a military uniform. It would be an interesting social experiment to see if they treat all women the same, or just certain women a certain way.
i do i have done et in the past ask for her nomber she say no i went my walk she went her way butthold on she was a a soldier wich rang you mean ?
It's interesting how all the women in the comments are sharing their experiences of street harassment and most of the men commenting either believe it doesn't exist or shut down women that call out men for it. Last week an entire car full of guys were yelling nasty comments at me as I was walking to my apartment. As much as I wanted to respond and tell them off, I couldn't because I didn't want to risk angering a car full of guys that could have easily chased me down. Misogyny is real and some of you need to rethink your life choices.
"Hi you look nice"
STOP OPPRESSING ME!
Ally Aces
To be fair, Laci said "Don't ever give compliments to women, no matter how nice and innocent they feel to you" (the context being women you don't know in public).
What's His Name Again? She used quotations though, the 'compliments' she's referring to are actually the harassment that some people (both men and women) delude themselves into thinking are ok. A genuine compliment "Wow your hair is amazing, your eyes are gorgeous, I love that dress it looks beautiful on you!" tends to be ok but even then be wary that yeah you don't know what type of mood the person is in (this also goes for men too) and they might not want to hear what you have to say right at that moment. I find that if I actually want to compliment someone it comes out as a compliment and sometimes the person is happy to hear it, other times they look at me like I am the biggest monster in the world, each to their own.
***** Yeah, most people don't really care about how your day is going. Saying hello, you look nice to someone doesn't mean they want to hear all about how you're having a shit day. Maybe that's the difference between men and women, when men are having a bad day they suck it up because no one is going to comfort you except your dog maybe. But I would bet money that if a woman said she was having a bad day, there would be a line of first responders there to take care of you emotionally.
Jimmy J. Rustle I think you misinterpreted what I was saying. In no way was I saying: She might be having a bad day so take care of her/comfort her/even listen to how her day went. I meant be ready for her to overall not give a crap about what you're saying or even for you to get a bad response in turn for your genuine compliment. Stop looking for issues that aren't there dude - plenty of guys have had a whine at me and plenty of women have too.
That's completely different to sexual harassment.
Oh, my God, Laci. I 100% relate to this. I'm only twelve and I still experience this. I was once at this water park in Toledo and three guys, late teens/early twenties, were staring at me. I was pretty creeped out, so I told my mother. She reacted as if it was a compliment, not even remotely pedophilic. I just brushed it off and let it go. But the next day, one of these guys approached me. He genuinely started hitting on me. I asked him how old he thought I was and he said sixteen. To which I responded by telling him I was eleven and that he needed to back off. He told me that if I slept with him, I would be the talk of the school. (Which, of course, was true. Everyone would think I was a slut.) I told him I'm a lesbian and, I kid you not, he told me he'd change my mind. I slapped him. It worked. He left me alone.
OMG I'm around your age too, And I can totally relate. Me and my friend were walking our dogs one time. This dude starts stalking us from right behind- and we're under 14! This dude is, like, twenty! He's doing the weird 'checking out' thing, in which by this time, after a considerable amount of back-shoulder-looking, we kinda walk/sprint out of the street. I mean, people! Mind the MASSIVE age gap!!
Speaking of gas stations, I work at one and sometimes it can be creep central. One I was ringing up a guy who asked if I had a boyfriend and continued to tell me how and why he was going to steal me away from him. I'm sure that I looked uncomfortable and I told him I would never leave my boyfriend and he kept going. The whole time I was waiting for a cop to show. Plus another guy came up to me once while I was making coffee and mentioned how small my waist is and how he would only need one hand to fit around it. I don't wear makeup to work and I have to wear a uniform so I don't get it and even still it would be wrong.
Never did propose a way to properly introduce yourself to a women on the street. A hello may i talk to you for minute does not make you a creep.
Don't talk to women on the street ever, unless its an emergency or you asking to pass. The street is no place a woman wants to talk to you. That's your rule of thumb.
But talking to strangers on the internet is completely different.
samiam2088
I don't think she's a virgin or a feminist I think she's a devoted family member. She has faulty filter mechanism (For filtering out good men) so that's why she just doesn't make sense when she talks to people.
Stabby666
You got the feminist part right
I started using my resting bitch face instead of that happy-go-lucky, bright-eyed-bushy-tailed look I usually have when going through my daily life, and I saw a difference in how often men catcalled me. I could feel more stares than usual (confidence tends to draw attention), but I noticed a significant drop in how many comments I got. All it took was walking down the street like I just killed a man. (Or maybe I did, from getting one too many catcalls.)
I developed very early on in my childhood(around 9-10) so being catcalled was one of my very early "adult" experiences. Men, older men more so than teenagers and young adults, would often be caught by my mother staring, whistling, pointing, making comments etc. about a little girl's body. I remember being on my school bus and the bus pulled into a neighborhood to drop off some kids but then broke down. Me and my friend both were 5th graders and we were talking about bras and i was showing her where her mom should measure to get her correct band and cup size. None of the gestures were inherently sexy, but because they were made around my chest, it warranted the attention of about 5 middle aged men drinking beer at 3:30 in the afternoon. They watched the wholw thing, and when i noticed they were watching, they gave us thumbs up to show they liked it. We told our bus driver because it scared us. She was a curvy black woman who grew up in the downtown area, so she knew our struggle very well. She parked the bus for about 15 minutes to tell these men off for looking at young girls in such a way and the guy who's lawn this was taken place on ended up gwtting his wife yelling at him too. Turns out, two of those me were child predators as well.
I've actually had a couple experiences where completely random women popped up out of nowhere and started hitting on me, like hard. Each time was really uncomfortable, so I can totally understand why women don't like it either.
I stood up for someone who was getting street harassed once on the subway by 2 separate groups of guys who were feeding off each other's groadyness. The guys threatened to hurt me, then left. What threw me for a loop though was that this girl really wanted to start a conversation and get to know me after, but I wasn't about that,I just wanted to read my book on a quiet train.
i must be a creep then because earlier today i saw this girl from my school on the street and said you look pretty today and she said thanks as we passed each other but yeah guess im just a creep
i should be thrown in jail for life i probably didn't even check my priviledge
im cis scum
Um dude in the video she said a man was following her home and he was a creep now your saying you think girls think your creepy because you compliment them?? TheAgileFatman that doesn't make you a creep just as long as you don't do creepy shit.
Maybe you should be more educated... facebook.com/officiallacigreen (see the poster on street harrassment)
Dwight Cook If he didn't want people to read his opinion and comment on it then he probably shouldn't have put it out on a social media site. Also Laci was just putting her story and her opinion out there but if I remember you had a very strong comment of your own.
can i be your biggest fan? can i?
I think the first time I was catcalled was when I was 12, passing by, and this guy happened to give me a "friendly " wolf whistle. He looked forty.
+Frances Markham which means he was probably 17 or 18 lol
+Frances Markham bruh the same thing happened to me when i was 12 and I saw the EXACT SAME DUDE a week later harassing 2 other 12 y/o girls at a bus stop
So youre saying that men should rely on their social circles to get women. Ya.... ok.
what she's saying is don't be a creep about it. catcalling is weird and you're more likely to scare someone away than anything.
Maybe if you didn't think of it as "getting" women, but as "meeting" them.
You know, as if they're human beings rather than Pokemons "Gotta catch 'em all."
Are you saying that it's unreasonable to say that men should rely on their social circles to meet women? How is that less likely than meeting women through "Cat-calling"
Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from the consequences of your speech. I have freedom of speech, as well.
I don't like the "Get a man" sites, either. Nice try, but just because other people do it doesn't mean it's cool.
No strawmen here. Several men in this very thread have said things like "So, if we can't talk to women, the human race will die out." That's ridiculous, there are plenty of places to meet women besides on the street. Parties (where you have the host's friendship in common), school (where you have classes in common), speed dating, OKCupid, whatever. Every man I've ever dated, including my eventual husband, I met through either school or, later, hobbies.
Seriously, I don't know if ***** 's original comment was sarcasm or not, but I sincerely do not understand why so many men think they can't meet women through their social circles.
I don't have a double standard. I already said that I don't like the "Get a man" sites either.
Wow, responding without actually reading what I said, sounds a lot like the assholes on the street who keep talking when a woman obviously doesn't want their attention.
"That whole sentence reeks of so much bullshit, I think I just got dragged through a Fertilizer plant."
It's bullshit that I have freedom of speech? Nope. It's bullshit that you're not free from consequences of your speech?" Nope. Of course, if I'd told you something was bullshit, you'd accuse me of "policing your language."
There are PLENTY of places to meet women outside your social circles. Get a new hobby. Speed date. OKCupid. . Parties at a NEW friend's house. Work. School, if you're still in school. Not every one will apply to you, but this isn't a video called "Never ever talk to a woman you haven't met," it's called "Creeps on the street." Whining about the horror of meeting women in your social circles seems a LOT like defending street harassment when it's a response TO a video ABOUT street harassment!
" why would you bring up the sins of the group to address individuals? You DO know that men are individuals and don't share a hive mind right? Sometimes we may produce a thought independent of our gender. Sometimes we may even produce two. "
Now who's setting up strawmen? So, Austin (and you) saying that you can't meet women in your social circles has NOTHING to do with other men literally saying "The human race wouldn't continue if we can't meet girls." Really seems like a similar thought, especially considering that this isn't a video about meeting girls, it's about street harassment.
And to hell with me for thinking that maybe you had a little context, read some other comments and weren't just knee-jerk responding to the first one you saw.
The men who DON'T think it aren't on here whining about how hard it is to meet girls, as if the path to TWU WUV is yelling "Nice titties" at a total stranger.
Austin seemed to be whining about "getting" women, and I said that maybe this is part of it. If you want to greet women on the street with "Hey bitch, I wanna get you in my collection," that's within your rights," but I don't think a lot of women are going to say "Wow, you are SUCH a crusader for the First Amendment! I wanna have your babies!"
I didn't say "YOU CAN'T SAY THAT" and spray you with cyber mace, I said "Maybe this is part of the problem."
My guess is that the women in your social circles know what a disrespectful jerk you are, so you have to find new pastures.
You ARE being a disrepectful jerk. Just because you haven't called me "childish names" doesn't mean you have been respectful at all. You have accused me of ideas I'd already refuted, you have accused me of strawmanning because you don't want to answer my actually NOT rhetorical questions.
You couldn't respond to something, so you said it was like being dragged through a fertizer factory. How is that not childish? You didn't say "You are a bullshitter," but you said that what I said was bullshit. The difference...isn't.
It's not "policing your language" to point out that what you're saying is idiotic, illogical and untrue.
Most of all, you may think you're defending freedom of speech, but considering the comment to which you are Knight Errant, you are also defending the right to be creepy on the street.
Maybe that's a "right," but it doesn't make the creeping less creepy.
In fact, you then called me a fascist, which is not only name-calling, but incorrect. I have in no way attempted to govern your lives nor even police your language (or Austin's--ironic that he doesn't care enough to respond and you've decided to be his knight errant. Tell me, do you go to every MRM website that says they want to ban words like feminism and problematic and mansplaining? If not, by your "You MUST GO AND TAKE DOWN THESE WEBSITES" logic, you're a hypocrite (that's not an ad hominem attack, that's a call based on your behavior.).
The irony is that I spent a lot of my life trying not to talk to creeps, but I've allowed myself to engage with your BS.
Done.
So it's okay for a Woman to slap my arse in public and call me "Sexy Bear" but for a man to compliment in such a manner in this day and age it's pretty much worse than murder. It doesn't sound like equality to me?
Everyone has there opinion you can't win I talk to many who want it and many who don't.....just do what you want within the law and have fun
Okay no. Shut the fuck up. It's not okay for any kind of harassment. It's not okay for anyone to do it. Harassment is harassment and it should be stopped.
Equiliptical Hopefully you are not talking to me,because if you noticed I said do what is within the law(harassment is not legel).Anyways it's not illegal to call someone sexy just letting you know
Blankname101 No, I'm talking to the original poster. I didn't even see your comment when I posted this lmao.
She didn't say anything about it being ok for women to slap your arse in public.
I remember when I was 16 and finally regaining some self confidence after many years of bullying I put on a Tshirt, leggings and a nice poofy skirt to my knees! and I walk out of my house, walk down one block and suddenly this grown ass man walks up to me and asks "For how much are you?"..... Mind you I looked like I was 14 back then! I was a minor! And he does that! That's the reason I don't wear skirts shorter than my fucking ankles, and I mostly opt for pants anyway no matter how hot it was! it was +30 degrees Celsium outside, but I had to turn my ass around and go get my jeans on, coz I had nothing else but that skirt that wasn't killing me from the heat!
WTF. That's creepy as fuck :S
Articuno76 You don't say.... And my friends to this day don't get it why I refuse to wear dresses and skirts... I mean in the middle of winter when I was wearing a giant ass coat I got a jerk cat calling me when I was on the way to university, grabbing me and wanting to pull me after till I yelled "HELP A PEDO!" And ran towards the highschool beside my university! Good thing the guy was drunk and didn't realize I look too old! *sigh* I wish I was a boy, I wouldn't be dealing with this BS
***** You speak as if men who cat call (etc.) are predators.
***** and I was listening to music, shit I got lucky that I reacted fast enough to that bastard or else QQ
i only fear phobophobia Yes they are.. It all starts from a little, it's like chips! One tiny bite, later you see you ate the whole damn pack and want more! It starts from being a douchy cat caller, ends up with trying to get in on that booty! And ignoring doesn't help, one guy once grabbed me by my arm and said dance with me(while his eyes said lemme fuck you) , when I yelled as loud as I can saying "FUCK YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY BEFORE I TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF!"... Good luck it worked coz everyone on the street suddenly looked and he backed away!
you could also say 'i was going to kill myself today but because of that comment im feeling a lot better about my body, thank you' and then walk away.
Back in freshman year of high-school in my algebra class I had this partner who was horrible. He repeatedly told me he wanted to "Do you in the ass in the stairwell baby." I would quietly tell him to stop. Then he'd go, "mmm bet it tastes great." while touching my upper thigh inching closer to my crotch. I would tell him to stop and of course he'd laugh and then tell me it was a joke, and that I needed to calm down. It was awful.. he was popular so I didn't want to say anything to the administration at my school, he terrified me, I was legitimately scared of being cornered by him in the stairwell. Later on in the year he was expelled because he had pot in his locker, I know this is bad.. but I was so happy when he was expelled..
A similar thing happened to me in freshman year as well! I was not only youngest in class but I also looked really young. Every guy made fun of me for that, but this one popular guy would always whisper sexually explicit things in my ear during class. I was so scared. It got so bad to the point where he told me he would rape me. Everyone thought it was funny, but I was so scared. I moved schools.
yeah. catcalling is so damn creepy! i actually lose my faith in men everytime that happens. I know a lot of you dudes keep saying "not all men" but imagine having to actually say that to yourself to retain some hope that the whole world isn't like that.
cause it feels like it most of the time. what you also don't understand is that being a feminist isn't about hating men. I am a feminist cause I want to love men. I want to love them knowing they see me as a person too and misogyny won't let me because I keep seeing pigs in their faces who think I'm an object and nothing more
silvermangawolfygirl This is what makes me really sad. I'm a guy, but I understand feminism and the issue with being approached on the street at random completely. I have a lot of girls who are friends and I don't feel that they are being "unreasonable" because they seem so indecisive or overly emotional sometimes. Once the explain why they feel that way or why they were upset I completely understand and am as respectful as possible. I get along with women perfectly fine. I get along with them just as much as I've gotten along with men, I mean, that's just what it seems like to me, anyway. It makes me so sad to see men being so pervasive and creepy to a woman and the woman feeling like she can't trust any man because of that. I'm really sorry you feel this way, you don't deserve that crap.
Luke Hillard that's so very nice to hear.yeah you get it. thanks. no one does really. we're all supposed to be equal human beings.
it's actually been a bit better for me lately cause i've met a decent dude or two to hang out. it's a major relief to associate with said people let me tell you, but I don't think my suspision is ever fully going to go away.
I mean without any obvious sign yet I'm still paranoid that they'll turn at me at some point and demand romance cause they were nice guys to me and now I owe them stuff. It wouldn't be the first time. and it's horrible when you thought of them as friends...
silvermangawolfygirl No problem, and I'm glad to hear that it's gotten better for you! I hope your guy friends turn out to be, well, true friends as they are right now. :)
silvermangawolfygirl No real man will be with a feminist.
loredelamore
oh good! it'll be a relief to have "real" men off my back then. honestly though why does it affect your manliness to have some respect for the opposite sex? I'll never get it.
Sexism sucks. It's bad enough that you have to experience this on the way to work everyday, sometimes men copping a feel on the train (I have experienced having my butt squeezed and even a guy who cupped my crotch then pretended innocence when I punched him hard on the arm, even threatening to sue me for "physical injuries"). The worst part is that when you tell people about it it's you're too sensitive or be flattered. And if you're having a bad day, you can't ignore them and you call them out, you're over reacting.
The environment, sociological standards from friends or those that a person might associate with on a regular basis causes these issues.
These situations, while not all, can be because the guy thinks that is what will attract a woman. After living in a rational way and understanding that predominantly this is not the way that most women want to be treated an epiphany may possibly hit them.
The majority of guys that do this are between immature and ignorant. (mostly 16 to 26, 10 years of stupidity) Some are just beyond reason though.
Last girl I saw who I thought looked attractive I simply said "Hi. I just wanted to say you look very pretty." That was it. Seems like simple thing to do.
***** She smiled and thanked me. Don't think I saw her again. So I guess she appreciated it.
Laci I love you and you are so intelligent and well spoken, but read the comments section, you can't make a difference, the men that do shit like this know it's wrong already, they are still going to do it regardless.
Ahh once the boys from my class kept sarcasticly asking me to be their gf like "oh he prettiest" a few who thought they were funny started following me throught the halls, and grabbing my shoulders up to the point when i kicked him...should have put more force in to it..too bad
They were so annoying thank god im out of that school
Good for you xx
Then ehyd you comment?
A random guy asked me to marry him in the middle of the street...
What did you say?
That happened to me too. I was stunned and said nothing.
Are you sure it wasn't a prank?
it probably was, i can't make sense of it otherwise...
benjovi55 He could also call her beautiful.....oh wait that's seen as cat-calling. Seriously woman have no sense...
A group of women beat the shit out of me because I was day dreaming and I was looking at her and they said "I "stare raped" her. If I would have hit back I know they would say I assaulted them and shit like that.
That happened to me except I was in school I was daydreaming and a girl happened to walk in front of me and people I though I was staring at her ass damn that was awkward
ShunFatKid yea bro but they literally attacked me it was like 1v8
Ouch
ShunFatKid yea...
***** I sexually identify as an attack helicopter not a male I can't rape
This is all really about what someone is comfortable with. There will be people who are okay with being catcalled, and there are people who aren't. It makes me uncomfortable because I've always been uncomfortable around strangers. Really, it comes down to decency; don't catcall someone because there's a chance they may not like it, and why make someone uncomfortable just so you can compliment them? It may seem okay to walk up to someone and tell them they look nice, but some people might find even that an uncomfortable experience. Even if you're trying to be polite, some people (like me) would be frightened. It's best to keep compliments to yourself, though it's probably alright to compliment someone if you're at a bar or cafe or event or something. But, if they look uncomfortable, you should probably stop; a lot of people are told not to trust strangers, so of course they won't react well if you come up to them and compliment them!
Very well-said! Some people may like it, but if there's a chance that doing that to a person is just going to make them uncomfortable, why do it?
I'm so used to rude comments when I walk alone or with female friends that when a stranger actually says something nice, I get a bit scared and start walking faster.
One thing I've noticed though, is that guys my age almost never make comments about my body. I'm 20 and for the most part I'm harassed by men much older than me.
Once I was on the bus and this 70 year-old guy grabbed my wrist and made a kissy face at me. I recoiled instantly and moved away from him after saying "sorry". I felt horrible.
If you want to approach someone, try with small talk... don't just yell rude things at them, there's a fair chance that they will not appreciate it. And please, please respect personal space.
Everyday i take the bus to school, which means i wait at a bus stop several times a day which gives creeps the opportunity for them to think they can try to get at me... One time some guy pulled up next to me asking for "directions" then next thing i know he starts doing "gestures" of wacking off!!! I almost threw my coffee at his car! I felt so disrespected, some men really needs to know there manners
*their
I was in Amsterdam with my family on vacation. I agreed to meet my parents in the afternoon so I had to through the inner part of the city alone. Let me just say, as a 16-year old girl, that was pretty scary.
When I first got outside the door of our apartment, a bunch of men having a conversation grinned creepily at me when they acknowledged me. As I walked passed them (while pretending not to look at them) I could see that they were still looking at me from behind.
It wasn’t long before various guys (more than 10 I think) nodded, whistled and winked at me while passing me on their bikes. As soon as I reached my parents, the catcalling/winking/nodding stopped. When I told my parents, they laughed and said “that’s just part of being a girl”.
You got to be fucking kidding me. How is that bad? I wish girls would acknowledge me, letting me know that I'm attractive. Of course though, you wouldn't find it at all creepy when an attractive model acknowledges that you're beautiful.
I would understand if the guy's slapped your ass or something, but for fucks sake, come on!
thomas cothren It was really uncomfortable and I didn't feel safe. That's why it's bad.
Eleanor I felt *really* uncomfortable and not safe when I was the only white dude at a party. that's why parties and people who are not white are bad.
ahh, I just love using feminist logic.
thomas cothren Making a stranger feel scared and uncomfortable on the street is a jerk thing to do, period.
thomas cothren Are you twelve years old?
I'm only 15, and I live in a city that has a very large college in it. I really like going to the supply stores there to get canvass and oils, and the guys assume I'm some college girl. It's super uncomfortable, and I normally tell them to fuck off, or say, "what the fuck are you doing? Trying to pick up a high schooler like me? You fuckin creep", normally they get really embarrassed, but sometimes they'll turn from saying "compliments" to full out threats on killing me. I'm still confuse on why "ay girl your ass is PERF!" Will turn into "whatever you're a fugly ass bitch anyway" in a split second.
I think the first time I got catcalled was when I was 10.. :/ I was on my bike (alone) and I just so happened to passed by a group of teenage boys in my path and I heard them going like, "sexy..." it was so uncomfortable.
+Aero Lamont 10 years!? Wow, just... wow. That's so disgusting I don't know what to say... Other than: "Those dudes were downright pedo's."
*****
Eh, creepin' on someone isn't cool, no matter what age you are.
*****
I personally think it would be just as creepy even if a woman did it, and I'm going to give an example why. I'm female, and I'm just going to assume by your name and profile that you identify as male. I'll just use myself as the girl in this fictional harassment example, as you've never met me before, or talked to me before this comment chain.
Imagine if I'd just follow you for 15 minutes straight on the streets or just say something along the lines of: "Hey hottie, lift that shirt and show me that sixpack!" out of the blue, as a complete stranger. My gender wouldn't really be an excuse in that case, as I'd still be doing something inappropriate in this situation. You're just on your way from point A to point B, and didn't ask for my comments on your body. Nothing gives me the right to harass you like this, as you didn't consent to it in any matter.
So I'd say it goes both ways, actually. Please note that I would never even consider doing something this creepy to a guy. I'd be dehumanizing him and treating him like a sex object, and we all know that's not cool. So really, this video doesn't just go for men/boys. We all just need to learn to respect one another.
Exactly the problem with male victims of this reporting to the police...
My first time was when I was 13 and I was waiting for my brother to pick me up and a bunch of teenagers driving by shouted "DAMN YOU'RE FINE!" while I was on the phone with.. MY BROTHER
I'm currently in college, and can't go to a single party without some guy grabbing my hips, expecting me to grind on him. Usually my response is to break free and just walk away, but I will occasionally turn around and give him a "Miranda Sings" look, and tell him, "thas porn". Personally, I find the latter to be much more entertaining
Just happened few hours ago. They were shouting sexy because i was wearing a skirt. I was gonna let it pass but they were urging me to look back so i confronted them. they denied and were speechless. Lol. You should have seen their faces.They werent expecting that ill fight back. I threatened them that if it happens again theyll get what they deserve.
I was walking home from an Irish music session in a bar last year, at about 9:30 at night with two friends (who are also girls). A group of lads passed us at one point, and one guy literally reached out, and squeezed my boob. I was wearing a hoodie and jeans, so it's not even like I was wearing clothing which made my chest obvious or anything (not that that makes a difference), and I was just sooo taken aback by it.
It made me feel really uncomfortable and angry that anybody thinks they could do that to a stranger on the street. I don't like people in my personal space at the best of times, not to mind when I'm just minding my own business walking home, chatting with friends.
The thing is..."street harassment" isn't just something that is sexual, nor is it something that is just aimed at women.
But no, of course, the term has to be taken over by women, specifically for the one type of "street harassment" that they are concerned about. It's not "street harassment" when someone insults and spits on homeless people. Of COURSE not. It's not "street Harassment" when a woman looks at a guy at the moment his eyes happen to be looking in her general direction and she screams at him or throws things at him.
No, it's only "street harassment" when a woman receives attention she doesn't desire in public.
There is a BIG difference between a genuine complement and a disrespectful catcall. I have had both done to me and it is easy to tell the difference. I have had a man probably about 60 come up to me and ask me out when I was 20 and was really creepy aobut it and didn't leave until I lied and said I was 16. I left that situation feeling dirty and slightly violated. And I have had an old man turn around to me in a grocery store line and say, "Just incase you don't get told this enough, you are very pretty and I wanted to let you know that" then turned back around and finished his order. I left that situation feeling confident and my day was made These situations are completely different.
The comments on these videos... Just... Wow. You are so empowering, and awesome, and you're allowed to look pretty. You're not man hating. These closed minded assholes are just ruining everything. Ugh.
Is there any statistic on what situation is most likely to lead to an assault in the US? Here (Germany) it's not strangers on the street, it's casual acquaintances - that nice gentleman that offered to walk you home is the most common rapist's profile. (ETA: according to police statistics)
KICKEM IN THE DINGLE DANGS
when I was 12 a 60 year old guy yelled
"Hey baby, what you up to?" at me.
I saw him a few weeks later harassing 2 other girls my age. absolutely disgusting.
You realize that there's ACTUAL oppression in Iraq, where rape is legal and women are not allowed to leave the house without their husband's consent? Girls 9 years of age are legally allowed to marry adults? You don't make videos on this, which is a real outrage, not being cat called on the street. You want to stop oppression? Start with women who are ACTUALLY being oppressed, and quit whining over a guy saying that you're hot.
+Sara Hanfler MYSOGYNY??? SO CATCALLING IS WORSE THEN WHAT THIS BLOKE SAID? Oh, don't say "But I never said that." Well, between "unfair" dress coats, "harassments" and Female Genitalia Mutilation, I believe I SHOULD take the former. Seems a lot worse, dun it?
***** But, by helping those in Saudi Arabia, feminists can actually convince the antis that they fight for a "righteous" cause.
+DreamOfTitans So your argument is basically "Some people have it worse than you, so you should just stfu"? How condescending you are. Your problem is that you can't seem to put yourself in our shoes and understand how we feel when we experience these things, so you just brush it off. How easy that must be when it's not something you have to deal with. Your issue is empathy-related.
+Sara Hanfler you seem to totally miss his point
+DreamOfTitans I hear this argument a lot, but it doesn't really hold water. There's nothing wrong with tackling the issues in the society you live in, as those are the issues you have a chance of doing something about. Pointing out a bigger problem somewhere else doesn't mean you have a smaller problem here (especially when it's in another part of the world). This argument isn't a call for action, it's a form of denial by dismissing there's an issue in the first place and telling people to shut up. Kinda like saying cancer is no big deal, be grateful it's not AIDS.
The difference between a perfectly acceptable compliment and a "compliment":
Option 1: "Hello, I'm (your name here) and I wanted to tell you that you look really nice/pretty/beautiful/interesting. Have a great day!"
Option 2: "OH HAY GIRL WHERE YOU GOIN YOU GOT SOME NICE CURVES YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN? you on gchat? you on facebook? can i have yo numba? you don't wanna talk to me? get to know me? YEAH MAYBE GET TO KNOW ME BEFORE YOU WALK AWAY! bitch."
Both of these have happened to me on many occasions (and I'm sure the same is true for 99% of the ladies in comments here). Option 1 is perfectly fine with me. OPTION 2 IS NOT.
Women are the distributors of male approval and rarely take it upon themselves to initiate conversation. With men facing most of the rejection and women pitying themselves that they have to deal with the choice of approving or disapproving of a man's advances, its no wonder some men go crazy. The reason some men catcall like they do is frankly because IT WORKS ON MANY WOMEN. You can't pretend that there aren't women out there that respond to this. Men have sought out women's approval since the dawn of time, quit complaining that a few idiots have run out of ideas and have resorted to this. Oh yeah, and ladies, you're also not the only ones this happens to, you know what men do? They get over it. Stalking I can get, but PLEASE stop lumping it in with catcalling as if they are one in the same.
You can look. But, don't talk - and certainly don't touch - unless you want to end up in court or worse. Don't catcall. That's just being a bore. Think James Bond. James Bond would never catcall. He won't even really look at women on the street. They look at him! Why? Because, he shows he has restraint. In other words...he's cool. Be cool. Be Bond.
Can I just say that you are amazing:) just for saying this. There is a huge difference between a compliment and harassment
While I respect and love Laci, I sometimes feel she doesn't have any respect for women who actually don't agree with her and actually love and enjoy getting attention. I know it sounds weird, but every person is different and you can't generalize what a women want or doesn't want, nor can you generalize what all men say out in the street or how and if they complement people when they meet them.
I believe she ~can~ make this argument, because women in general (statistically speaking) do NOT want to be talked to in the street. And this isn't addressing what men say when they meet women, it's talking about unsolicited remarks.
Also, check your privilege, mister. You most definitely cannot say what women want.
Elif Karatas That's weird, because I'm getting double statements here, some women say men should say these things, others say they shouldn't.
Some women like yourself say men most definitely cannot say what women want, by your definition of that, it seems to be like you don't think men are capable of even being empathetic with women in any form at all.
And I do think women's rights are being suppressed in many parts of the world more or less. But I don't think a good way to equality is for feminists to tell men how to behave. It doesn't respect all parts in a argument that is suppose to be an argument, a discussion, not a lecture.
Because tell me, how is it wrong for men to generalize and tell women what they should do, if women are allowed to generalize and tell men what to do?
Changing which sides of the fence of the gender roles we stand on is not a way to equality, breaking down the fence is.
Regardless of whether or not certain women like getting attention on the street there are things which by social standards are not okay. Harassment being one of them. There is a difference between smiling at someone politely and complimenting them and whistling and honking and cat calling- that is harassment.
Tabby Kat I agree, but I would also say that there is a severe difference between complementing something in a certain way, and complementing something in an inappropriate, because you can't say there isn't a appropriate way to complement someone.
Same with whistling, while I think the mere idea of someone whistling after another person is disrespectful and demeaning, its not on the same level as honking, which if you're in a city at least over here, you can get fined for doing that without a reason.
Bloodstainer hahaha you are a brave man for making these comments on this channel. *golf applause*