MY HORRIBLE COCAINE EXPERIENCE... (Truly Never Thought I'd Share This)

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  • Опубліковано 1 січ 2024
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    This video is for educational and documentary purposes only and is not intended to treat or diagnose. The opinions expressed are that of the individual in the video and nobody else. Please consult a health care professional for all mental and physical healthcare needs.
    I Noah Thomas, the creator of this channel, have been diagnosed hypogonadism by a medical doctor and legally prescribed the medically indicated treatment of Testosterone Replacement Therapy.
    My Story
    My name is Noah and on May 18 2011, I had a rare reaction to a medication called VIVITROL and consequently, spiraled into a suicidal depression with depersonalization and anxiety. I lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks and was in full panic or near panic for 8 weeks straight mixed with the darkest most painful depression I cold have ever imagined. I immediately could not work and had to move in with my parents who, along with many siblings and friends, had to watch me 24/7 as I was a danger to myself. Eventually I was hospitalized in the Psych Ward for a week. Getting through each day seemed truly unbearable and I knew I would surely die. I have been put on many many different doctor prescribed SSRI's SNRI's Tricyclics, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, holistic meds, acupuncture and even a form of shock therapy called RTMS. I barely saw any improvement in my condition for a full year. It was decided I had treatment resistant depression and I spent nearly every moment in tears. Weeks after starting my newest round of medications (Seroquel & Nortryptaline) as a last ditch effort, I had my blood drawn for possible hormone imbalances and my Testosterone levels came back 200 ng/Dl and 150 ng/Dl. The average 25 year old male has 750 ng/Dl. With this discovery I had an explanation as to why I was not getting better and why I might be so so sick. The symptoms of Low T are very similar to those of major depression. I started legally prescribed testosterone replacement therapy soon after and have been checking in with the world and documenting my experience with treatment as well as giving my insight and perspective on various topics of mental health. I am blessed to say that I have slowly, over the last 6 years, been improving and becoming more stable which I never thought to be possible. My low T manifested itself in the form of Major depression, anxiety, and depersonalization/ derealization for over a year. Treating my low testosterone has been 1 HUGE part of the puzzle but I have had to continue to work hard to hold on to my mental stability with many set backs. Gaining some mental stability back is nothing short of a miracle as I was near death for what felt like forever. I do not consider myself to be totally healed yet but I am closer now then ever before and aim to use what I have been through to help or at least offer support to others in need I was able to successfully come off my Seroquel and Pamelor.
    I work out all the time as a part of my mental health recovery!!! Weight training and all kinds of cardio rule much of my free time and I also share this on my channel.
    Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked

КОМЕНТАРІ • 104

  • @vincesza8464
    @vincesza8464 7 місяців тому +20

    The judgmental people are gonna get on their high horse and have a field day with this one lol thanks for being open with us! I’ve done the nose candy but it eventually got old. I couldn’t mentally handle the downside anymore. Horrible!

  • @user-wb2yv7ll9d
    @user-wb2yv7ll9d 7 місяців тому +10

    I hope this helps people to never try drugs. It's harrowing. Be grateful you're OK and please stay sober. Much love to you.❤

  • @aaroncohen6240
    @aaroncohen6240 7 місяців тому +9

    I had almost the same experience with drugs and alcohol even tobacco. And I am so much more happy not having any of those substances in my life anymore.
    You do a great job telling your story.

  • @mikealan1984
    @mikealan1984 7 місяців тому +5

    Noah that was me 15 yes ago and I think back and realize I'm soooo grateful today that that's not me anymore drugs are different today these days love ya bro

  • @Analoguebubblebath89
    @Analoguebubblebath89 7 місяців тому +13

    I’ve had a lot of comedowns. Hundreds and hundreds.
    For me mdma with gallons of booze was always the worst. Coke comedowns were actually not too bad.
    One morning in 2012 at around 10am I was coming down off a 3 day Molly and booze bender. I had a night shift that night and my then girlfriend had just gone away for 2 weeks. I genuinely had thoughts of throwing myself out of my bedroom window lol. I was pretty close to just jumping through the glass. Pretty funny looking back, because the fall wouldn’t have even killed me, just seriously injured me.
    Thought I’d just leave this here haha. 646 days sober 🎉😂

  • @FromPanictoParis
    @FromPanictoParis 5 місяців тому +2

    Nothing more refreshing than a human talking with so much vulnerability and authenticity. The great side of UA-cam

  • @LJPpro
    @LJPpro 7 місяців тому +6

    I love you
    You're a fucking real one brother. Never forget that! Forgive youself You're helping thousands of us!!!

  • @travisrolando8205
    @travisrolando8205 7 місяців тому +6

    Stay strong Noah! You're a truly very very blessed guy! Love You bro!

  • @LJPpro
    @LJPpro 7 місяців тому +6

    Also, I'm jealous of your mustache and beard. I have what I call a 'gentle' beard hahaha

  • @ForTheSakeOfTheSongs
    @ForTheSakeOfTheSongs 7 місяців тому +8

    Multiple substance abuse is bad it's still better to do only one like alcohol or weed, but zero is the best way to go. I drank again over Christmas and new year I'm not proud but avoid too much guilt because it's not good either. Talking and not hiding it (like you do here) is a good therapy.

  • @shirleygoudzwaard7985
    @shirleygoudzwaard7985 7 місяців тому +5

    I'm proud of you Noah.

  • @jiberider994
    @jiberider994 7 місяців тому +7

    Thank you Noah! Stay strong man!

  • @marthahench9885
    @marthahench9885 7 місяців тому +6

    Keep up the good work on yourself.

  • @PeterZ873
    @PeterZ873 7 місяців тому +2

    Thank you for being really, 100% brutally honest with us. Wishing you all the best for your recovery!

  • @annemarie5851
    @annemarie5851 7 місяців тому +4

    Happy 2024! ODAT! Your story is good for those tempted to do the same. Happy trails in the new year!

  • @tedmosby1331
    @tedmosby1331 7 місяців тому +3

    Thanks for sharing this with us Noah. I’ve been following for a long time. Wish you the best.

  • @Naomi-ul3yo
    @Naomi-ul3yo 7 місяців тому +5

    Thank you so much for opening up and sharing this experience ❤
    I tried it a handful of times in my mid 20s while partying and never had a bad experience. I would never do it again though because I’ve heard of and have seen first hand people taking it laced with fentanyl and other crap.

  • @FPds090988
    @FPds090988 7 місяців тому +1

    Super relatable! Took me back in time. Definitely don’t miss those days one bit.

  • @sorrenable
    @sorrenable 7 місяців тому +4

    Thanks for sharing Noah.... Happy New year....😊 Stick with the recovery mate😊😊😊

  • @richarddunn9677
    @richarddunn9677 7 місяців тому +1

    Thanks for your transparency! These videos help me understand how others operate similar to me. You have become a friend to me and I look forward to your chats. Thank you

  • @brendainny
    @brendainny 7 місяців тому +4

    Good luck 🙏🏻

  • @TRDTalk
    @TRDTalk 7 місяців тому +3

    Congrats on 101 days brother! The beards looking good!

  • @jayaguilar2031
    @jayaguilar2031 7 місяців тому +4

    I still support ya bro. You lookin like 40 miles a hard road. But im still there lol.

  • @Reikinurse19
    @Reikinurse19 18 днів тому

    I’m six years clean from Cocaine. I quit cold turkey. It was Hell, but I’m so glad I made it through it! Best thing I ever did for myself! Congratulations!

  • @LibertyVision
    @LibertyVision 6 місяців тому

    So proud of you ❤ you are helping ppl

  • @ianjames5150
    @ianjames5150 6 місяців тому +1

    I’ve suffered with alcohol addiction, cocaine addiction since I was 13 yrs old.. I am now 39… and this video makes me really mad like you’re speaking like an expert on things… I am really struggling at the moment.. and this video just aggravates me

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  6 місяців тому +2

      I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling my friend. I appreciate the honesty. My intention is to share my personal experience and nothing more. I know how dark addiction has gotten for me and I’m just thankful to be sober today.

  • @sweeper990
    @sweeper990 7 місяців тому +4

    Holy shit Noah😮

  • @warrior.4895
    @warrior.4895 7 місяців тому +4

    The Devil gets you at your most venerable bro.

  • @brettmaxson7695
    @brettmaxson7695 7 місяців тому +9

    Noah, I relate to this video so much. I wish so badly to be the person who could casually do recreational drugs but they’ve exacerbated my struggles with mental health so bad. I’ve finally had to accept my brain just isn’t wired for them.
    Anyone out there who might be considering booking a call with Noah, I’d highly recommend it. He’s exactly what I needed when I was in the depths of it.

  • @Dandeknee
    @Dandeknee Місяць тому

    I've been in that situation a few times, you think you're going to die, which makes you panic more!! it truly the worst experiences of my life

  • @javierlopez-ko2ph
    @javierlopez-ko2ph 7 місяців тому +3

    been on trt for 4 years now since i followed ur channel. and ur a big motivation for me and others man. keep being an inspiration broha! much love

  • @kimchiwasabee
    @kimchiwasabee 7 місяців тому +1

    In Peaches' and Herb's voices:
    "Reignited,and it feels so good..."

  • @Gruxx42
    @Gruxx42 5 місяців тому

    You're very brave for telling this story and being honest about your addictions. You've done a very good job of explaining why abusing alcohol and doing cocaine are both really bad ideas and why doing both together is even worse. I do drink alcohol occasionally but I keep it to 1 drink maximum. I understand some people struggle with that and I think you are very brave for admitting it. I've never done cocaine or any hard drugs though.

  • @brendainny
    @brendainny 7 місяців тому +3

    Panic attacks really suck

  • @modifyremusic
    @modifyremusic 3 місяці тому

    Man thanks for sharing. Just had a bad time with a huge hangover made me super depressed and hopeless. One of my worst ones yet. I've been trying to quit drinking and I end up forgetting after like a month and get back at it. It's never just one or two...its SHOTS SHOTS, multiple drinks, feeling good, I'll have another. It's like the body knows it's making you feel good so you sub consciously buy more. I HAVE to quit alcohol. I worry that I'll be drunk enough out in the party scene that someone is going to offer me something else and I'll take it. It's around -_-...makes me want to quit DJing. The problem is in the music scene you're always around alcohol and drugs and people always want to offer you stuff. Also if you have a gig you want to help the bar sell alcohol because it's their revenue stream....sigh

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  3 місяці тому +1

      That’s tough and I appreciate you sharing. I know for me I had to burn the ships and make every move around being a sober member of society and in a recovery program. I have allot of history with building sobriety around my life and I have always eventually gone back to drinking. One day at a time I’m working very hard to build my life around sobriety and I’m staying sober and finding joy in a day to day basis.
      Certainly don’t know what’s best for you but if you think being sober is the most important thing for you. Encourage you to get support it sure made the difference for me.

  • @gloriayoung392
    @gloriayoung392 6 місяців тому

    The downer of cocaine is the worst thank you for sharing✌🙏

  • @Amyia14
    @Amyia14 7 місяців тому +4

    Your awesome

  • @bingboompow8861
    @bingboompow8861 7 місяців тому +4

    For whatever reason cocaine did very little for me,I did alot in One night and it didn't work for lack of a better world haha

    • @Drakeawake
      @Drakeawake 6 місяців тому +1

      Maybe it wasn't coke haha

    • @bingboompow8861
      @bingboompow8861 6 місяців тому

      Oh it was lol my friend is a legit coke head on the weekends 🤣🤣he would know ​@@Drakeawake

  • @drunkensessions
    @drunkensessions 7 місяців тому +6

    Maybe the cocaine made you quit alcohol, it's truly a magnificent drug!

  • @reganjacklin
    @reganjacklin 7 місяців тому +3

    You are looking so much healthier already bro. Your skin has a glow it never had in addiction.

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  7 місяців тому

      I appreciate that

  • @kimchiwasabee
    @kimchiwasabee 7 місяців тому +2

    Relapse is my 2nd name.

  • @user-eh1vp3ev3c
    @user-eh1vp3ev3c Місяць тому +1

    "Is was my very 4st time..."
    Yeah that might be the problem.
    😁👍

  • @alexc08
    @alexc08 7 місяців тому +2

    I’ve had similar experiences, I can’t even drink caffeine as it brings back those memories lol

  • @bobbyburrito225
    @bobbyburrito225 7 місяців тому +2

    Glad you're not brushing off the experience lightly. Very slippery slope with cocaine, "casual" users slowly but surely increase the frequency of using, each time tricking themselves into thinking it was just a one-off or special occasion.

  • @artful_spinning2319
    @artful_spinning2319 7 місяців тому +1

    Thanks for sharing I know it must be difficult. What helped you to gain momentum to stop drinking these past 100 days?

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  7 місяців тому +1

      Working a 12 step recovery program daily has been the most powerful thing for me.

  • @N-xi2zh
    @N-xi2zh 7 місяців тому

    COCAINE helped me with PSSD and ADHD at 21 22 and quitting alc. saved my life made me super confident in my sexy ways too. and i quit and switched to ADHD medicine at 26. If I could go back, I'd have done coke vs accutane, finasteride, etc. Coke, dex, and other stuff. cannabis medically... but need hormonal help. alcohol sucks. anyways nice channel. nice being open and honest son. COOL. I quit alcohol 13 yrs ago mostly, and coke mostly 9-10 yrs ago.

  • @EdgeCutLawnCare
    @EdgeCutLawnCare 7 місяців тому +5

    Hey man i am 14 and have had dpdr for over 2 years now, could you help me please.!

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  7 місяців тому +7

      Only help I can offer is through my videos and this comment letting you know you’re not alone and to get pro help. It can get better. Tell your parents you’d like to see a therapist and go from there. BE BRAVE and don’t give up.

    • @amp2375
      @amp2375 7 місяців тому +5

      Find someone you can talk to a school Councillor or friends parents that will see you through this.
      I'll pray for you young man 🙏🙌👏✨️💯👍

    • @warrior.4895
      @warrior.4895 7 місяців тому +6

      Keep your head up kid.
      You're just a young person you'll learn that life takes us on many journeys.
      I promise what's worrying you today will be forgotten in 10 years time. You'll go through many ups & dawns but you have to talk to qualified people if you're struggling.
      You're at the age where you're allowed to make mistakes because you need to learn from them & that's got to let itself play out.
      So fk up as badly as you can because it's all lessons at this stage and don't take things too serious.
      However..
      Pls stay away from drug's & try to concentrate of just hanging out with your friends.
      Wish you all the best.

    • @nathantrudgill5057
      @nathantrudgill5057 7 місяців тому +2

      I have it too

  • @NicksHEAT1995
    @NicksHEAT1995 4 місяці тому

    Been there brother. To anyone out there thinking about abusing alcohol and cocaine, or even just one of those, IT AIN'T WORTH IT. Do not do it. I'm alcoholic clean over 7 years now.

  • @roblincoln10
    @roblincoln10 6 місяців тому

    I remember these days. Never want to go back

  • @BarrettPlumbing
    @BarrettPlumbing 7 місяців тому +30

    Hats off to your wife for putting up with another relapse. There is gonna come a time when she won’t be there.

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  7 місяців тому +8

      I believe you are right. I’m very thankful. One day at a time.

    • @warrior.4895
      @warrior.4895 7 місяців тому +9

      ​@bignoknow
      Bro,
      I'm not judging but she's probably a nervous wreck inside.
      She's a victim too.
      Genuinely fear for her if she just forgives you without thinking.
      Means she's running on autopilot & that's a dangerous place for your mind to be.
      My friends mum ended her stay on this earth on autopilot..
      Heartbreaking story.

    • @Faginreview
      @Faginreview 6 місяців тому +5

      Come on man. That’s just not helpful. The guy’s got a disease.
      Noah,
      If you read this, listen. Your wife sees you for who you truly are and she thinks that person is worth holding onto. And you’ve gotta believe this too.
      I’m guessing you think your wife is a pretty special person. Why would that special person stand by your side even when you’re at your lowest. Because she sees something in you worth fighting for.
      Not everyone in the throes of addiction have an angel by their side. You’ve got a powerful ally in this fight mate.
      So don’t give up. Each day of sobriety is victory. It’s up to you how many victories you stack up.

    • @mfungi
      @mfungi 3 місяці тому

      His relapses are few and far between, it could be much worse

  • @archangel_josh
    @archangel_josh 4 місяці тому

    I only tried cocaine a few times when I was drinking and it didn't really do anything for me. I felt my gums go numb and instead of being a sloppy drunk I was really controlled and could drink more for longer but it's nothing like in the movies where people do a line and go "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAH!" I'm told the stuff I did was really good because this was in LA whenever I would visit and it was meant to be really good stuff.

  • @elflauta1
    @elflauta1 7 місяців тому +2

    audio cutting out

  • @czr7j9
    @czr7j9 7 місяців тому +1

    I've taken cocaine too and it wasn't that good to be honest, but opium was a another thing. I took it 4 days in a row with the hilltribes of Thailand. I think it was the best i have felt but it frightened me at how quickly i wanted more. And understand why it is illegal as i would have been a full blown drug addict after a month.

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  7 місяців тому

      Thanks for the honesty.

    • @Drakeawake
      @Drakeawake 6 місяців тому

      Thank God you didn't get into an opiate addiction. That shit will scar you for life.

  • @teddybear1829
    @teddybear1829 6 місяців тому

    I had a major cocaine panic attack at my mums third wedding , thought I was gonna flat line, that was my second time trying it

  • @user-sl2ws5dc5e
    @user-sl2ws5dc5e 7 місяців тому +4

    Why you taking drugs on trt?

    • @Drakeawake
      @Drakeawake 6 місяців тому +1

      He has addiction tendencies

  • @kosmic_tarantula547X
    @kosmic_tarantula547X 6 місяців тому

    Heyyy

  • @Kristen10-22
    @Kristen10-22 3 місяці тому

    My brother died on 1/20/2018
    He ended up doing crack, heroin.
    He too tried coke
    He was 43

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  3 місяці тому

      I’m so very sorry for your families loss. Addiction is a dreadful thing.

  • @jaystjean5816
    @jaystjean5816 7 місяців тому

    We have way too much in common! Wondering if you’d be willing to have a conversation sometime?

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  7 місяців тому

      First link in my video description is a scheduling tool. I’d love to chat.

  • @Catlady52000
    @Catlady52000 7 місяців тому +4

    You care sooooo much about the outside of your body but damn, your insides are screaming….the outside means absolutely NOTHING ….you are on the younger side…. The bounce back is going to slap you in your face and not come back. Take it from me. Try and stay sober this time…the alternative sucks

  • @beckoninglight16
    @beckoninglight16 5 місяців тому

    No judgement. We all do dumb shit. I tried shrooms when i was drinking one time. Youre not suppose to drink on shrooms but the alcohol made my judgement dumb. I felt sick and on the verge of a panic attacks for hours afterwards. Ill never do shrooms again. Lol

  • @indigosky8548
    @indigosky8548 6 місяців тому +2

    Oh the drama

  • @PreacherLevi
    @PreacherLevi 7 місяців тому

    My 19 yo neighbor thought he was buying xanax it was fentanyl . Be careful this isn't the early 2000s anymore.

  • @ddstanfield9259
    @ddstanfield9259 3 місяці тому

    So The question is Why do you keep doing this to yourself?

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  3 місяці тому

      Addictions wild for sure.

    • @ddstanfield9259
      @ddstanfield9259 3 місяці тому

      @@bignoknow let’s talk man, Off line

  • @straightflush6095
    @straightflush6095 7 місяців тому +4

    Almost a month clean from weed now. I know its not a severe drug and has not the worst withdrawal but since I stopped life has been boring. I miss the munchies on weed, to be completely honest I miss watching porn on it, I miss watching movies and playing video games on it.
    I'm not in a bad place right now but it just feels...boring...

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  7 місяців тому +2

      I can appreciate your honesty. I know
      For me and alcohol, quitting drinking was never going to be enough. I had to find a sufficient substitute and that’s been 12 step recovery work, CrossFit, UA-cam, education, and films.
      I hope you find something that brings back your joy. Good for you for quitting if that’s what you think is best for you.

    • @straightflush6095
      @straightflush6095 7 місяців тому

      Thanks man, appreciate your answer. I quit weed because I'm scared of negative health consequences. I've had no problems with it though. Its so hard because weed is not like alcohol where you actually feel much bad consequences@@bignoknow

  • @Tropicalfrooploops
    @Tropicalfrooploops 7 місяців тому +1

    Super dangerous combo, all around. It could have easily killed you.
    Edit: no judgment, I’ve done dangerous things, just being 💯 real

  • @fitfogey
    @fitfogey 6 місяців тому

    You seem to always “never think you’ll share this”.

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  6 місяців тому

      Haha that’s awesome.

  • @Geletin911
    @Geletin911 4 місяці тому

    Dude, where is your wife when all this insanity is going down?

  • @cathalbutler
    @cathalbutler 7 місяців тому +6

    So let me get this straight, you say you’re an alcoholic. In the past you’ve had a mental breakdown and as a result were hospitalised. You’ve been to rehab twice for alcohol and each time you relapsed…. and you thought it was a good idea to try cocaine for the first time (recently)

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  7 місяців тому +9

      Give or take a few details but sure, that’s one way to sum it up. People in their active addiction don’t make the smartest choices 🙃. That’s why I’m so thankful to be sober and sane today. One day at a time.

  • @veggiemetal7812
    @veggiemetal7812 6 місяців тому

    If you look at all of the facts, alcohol is WAY more dangerous than cocaine. Our society has got its priorities backwards when it comes to drugs. Stay away from both for a happier life. 👍

  • @Vicsongwriter
    @Vicsongwriter 7 місяців тому +4

    Did you ever have amalgam/mercury teeth fillings?

    • @bignoknow
      @bignoknow  7 місяців тому +3

      I did and eventually had them removed.