One day I was speaking with a woman who lost her son to brain cancer. I asked her, what is something I can say to someone who is going through grief instead of saying “sorry for your loss” and she said “ I want people to ask what he was like, People always thing I don’t want to talk about him but I love talking about him” Now, each time I ask someone “What was their name and what kinds of things were they interested in?” It’s been amazing. People light up and share about their loved ones. “ He loved to fish” “She loved to grow giant pumpkin’s!” Maybe more of us can try this.
Beautiful! As an ex Hospice Nurse and full time caregiver I became so overwhelmed by death and dying it's taken me 8 years to get on the other side of trying to find my own life. My mom died suddenly while scuba diving her 1st dive after training. It was a very stormy time in my life and now my five kids are grown it's time for me. I've found magical wonderful new ways but the more I press into the light I guess I'm at that all the moths are responding time frame of pushing thru to higher dimensions. Right now I stayed in bed all day yesterday to process a family gathering misunderstanding s yup about me... I'm sick of the stigma of grief when people even ones in the mental health care are so knowledgeable they don't really see it hear either. It made me very sad to realize they really don't get IT or ME & IT JUST MADE ME SAD TO REALIZE THEIR NIT MY TRIBE RIGHT NOW. We've been thru alot and you love your kids & want to be around them. It's hard to think of stepping away a bit.. I need to be with people who are accepting that my path doesn't have to look like they think it should. I never fit that mold anyway. Just kinda sad😢
Healing. Will keep this in my thoughts what you said It's been 5 years since my Mother left. The tears never stop but now I can smile through my tears.
I also experience deep grief. It never really leaves you, but you learn to live with it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your motivations. For me it is food for tnought.
I started my disappearing act when I was nine, after my mother died from cancer. After I didn’t see her family anymore and my father shut down. No more holidays. No more birthdays. No more warmth. The only thing that made me feel less empty was playing piano and then cooking. No one ever cooked for me after my mother died, but I found some of her recipes and I made them as best I could with what was around. When I had kids, I made everything for them from scratch. I’ve known so little love in my life but I was able to manifest it out of nowhere to make sure my kids were loved. I still feel invisible, but I want to put good things out into the world so that others don’t feel like I do. ❤ thank you for your videos. My household has been vegan for a long long time. I could never hurt an animal or wish violence upon them for my food
@@tigrette11 I read this recently and it filled my heart with renewed purpose and power: Without your wounds where would your power be? It is your melancholy that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men and women. The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. In Love’s service, only wounded soldiers can serve. … we are all broken and the best in each of us will use that to heal. If not ourselves, then others. Cooking is definitely one of my love languages. I love cooking for people and I do my best to do it well and with care. Many of us do this. It’s is amazing.
I’m Grieving as well. my beautiful magical gifted Daughter . Just two years ago. Everyday I tragically miss her. Her beautiful Service Dog, Sir Teddy, is my Warrior and Helper . He keeps me busy and healthy .
@@nizahe2731How do you know?Stop telling others what to believe,you are entitled to your belief,have the courtesy and decency to let others have theirs and it's irritating when negative nelly s like you come here and spoil it for the rest of us.
@@CATSFOREVER308 I had a near death experience when I was eight yo. My first realization was that I was above the scene (about 10 feet up), my body laying on the ground and surrounded by worried friends and family (all kids around my age). Me wondering how I could see without eyeballs. Seriously! That was my first thought up there. Hovering above is very common in NDEs. If you read more you’ll see that, when returned to the body after the literally wonderful experience* people often tell witnesses what they said and did, and the listeners are shocked because they are correct (because it actually happened). This includes many people who had flatlined in hospital. In my case, they were mad at me because they thought I faked laying there and not breathing for several minutes. *All NDEs have commonalities, like the hovering, but the heart of the experience is different for most. In my case, I traveled around a planet in a stream of souls that looked like points of light, then ended up in an oak tree who could feel all the life in branches, bark and and roots. I was that oak tree. It’s no wonder people named the other side Heaven, Jannah, Shamayim, etc. and built marvelous myths around it.
@@nizahe2731 I had a near death experience when I was eight yo. My first realization was that I was above the scene (about 10 feet up), my body laying on the ground and surrounded by worried friends and family (all kids around my age). Me wondering how I could see without eyeballs. Seriously! That was my first thought up there. Hovering above is very common in NDEs. If you read more you’ll see that, when returned to the body after the literally wonderful experience* people often tell witnesses what they said and did, and the listeners are shocked because they are correct (because it actually happened). This includes many people who had flatlined in hospital. In my case, they were mad at me because they thought I faked laying there and not breathing for several minutes. *All NDEs have commonalities, like the hovering, but the heart of the experience is different for most. In my case, I traveled around a planet in a stream of souls that looked like points of light, then ended up in an oak tree who could feel all the life in branches, bark and and roots. I was that oak tree. It’s no wonder people named the other side Heaven, Jannah, Shamayim, etc. and built marvelous myths around it.
My daughter passed away suddenly a month ago. I cried during this video. Sitting with the grief is a hard thing to do but I'm compelled to do so. I honestly don't know how to survive this.
thankyou so much for this. its exactly what i needed. its 18 weeks today since my dad was killed. he was my world. the last person i had, apart from my bestfriend, who lives in america, and is deep in depression. so i cant burden him. everyone else i love, is dead. mum was killed 9 yrs ago. my brother died 26 yrs ago. everyone else went along the way. i really appreciate the time limit idea, as lately ive been in total denial. pretending its not real. it bubbles up sometimes, but i push it down. with mum i lost myself in it, but i had dad to look after me. now i have no one. this is a beautiful tribute, to her beautiful soul. you have helped me more than you can ever understand. im just counting down until i join everyone, but dont want to let them down by wasting the time i have left. grief sucks. sending love to you and everyone who knows it. sorry it was so long. i doubt anyone will read it anyway. 💕💖💕
Anderson Cooper (cbs “ About grief”) speaks so about grief, his own and others, and had invited anyone to speak on calls….he,s listened to every one, ,each as unique as the loss. He,s made his healing about changing the culture around death. Thank you for sharing yours and a way to hold it for your life.
You’re changing the world one person at a time by speaking about this. I just quit a 30 year career in Tech to become a certified End of Life Doula to help normalize death, and embrace talking about loss openly. No one should have to be alone in their grief because the people in their lives don’t know how to support them (no judgement - it’s endemic in our society). You are a beautiful soul, Derek. Thank you for this video. It’s my favorite to date. ❤
I have a feeling the only time I won’t be alone is when I die IF I am lucky enough to get somewhere to be taken care of 😅 I’m so happy you have followed your heart to be there for people when they most need to be loved
I lost my husband of almost 30 years 1 month ago. He was in pain, but manageable. He was slowing down considerably in his last month. Sleeping a lot. I am plant based and he was pretty much so. His appetite was good even up to the night before he passed. I miss him terribly. As the all the fuss abates from this, (going to the bank, getting all the paperwork done, figuring out the computer)… I find the evenings so quiet. People really don’t know what to say, and I get that. I will find my way. I found your video comforting as I love cooking and make food for not just myself, but I tend to give some to friends (who love my cooking, bless their hearts, as I always make too much)… He was 84. I’m 72. There are pockets of deep sadness, but nothing is permanent, so I know this will pass. Thank you for sharing your story. And your incredible talent for cooking. 🇨🇦
Give it time .I have heard for every year you spent together it takes a month to start to heal. so give it time.. those sad feelings will turn into joyful memories, I promise.
An Irish prayer that helps me when I am missing those I love on the other side "Death is nothing at all I have only slipped away to the next room- I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, That, we still are" I believe with all my being they are still with us. Guiding. Watching. Protecting.
I lost my wife 2 yrs ago in August from cancer. I am still fighting the grief and trying to figure out where I’m going now. It is so hard to let her go. As you said, it’s a lonely time. It tore my heart from my chest. I’m allowing myself grace now. Which is a major step forward. Thanks again for sharing your story. It gave me time to reflect.
Sitting in the grief...what a brave thing to do. 6 years ago on the last day of July, 2018, with no warning, the phone call came from a New Orleans cop that my beautiful 22 year old son, Jacob, was found dead of an accidental overdose. For at least 3 years after, I couldn't listen to music or sit for any minutes without distraction. Thinking and music and talking made me feel and I couldn't bear the weight of those feelings. I think in grief- we each do what we can to survive, to keep breathing in the midst of unbearable pain and anguish. Much love to you on the loss of your loved one in this life
Fellow vegan here, 15 years. I just discovered you a few weeks back. Love your channel! I lost the love of my life four years ago July 23rd. I’m no stranger to grief, but it still really sucks! Sadly it is just part of this life we live. It gets better only if we face it, move through it in time as you e been doing. They are with us always. 🩷 Thank you for sharing your story. ❤
I am so grateful for you making this video! As a doctor who works in oncology I often have to deal with people loosing their loved ones. Sadly our culture has los many of the rituals and wisdom of dealing with death. Many people think they just have to get on with life and lose themselves in the process. You are such a strong person, dealing with the loss of Amanda and turning towards love and compassion instead of cynicism and bitterness. Please know that you are one truly precious human being who teaches so many of us how to show compassion!!
Thank you for sharing, you are loved and appreciated...you make a difference in many ways, and in the 10:13 minutes of our lives that we took to watch and listen to your story, thoughts, feelings, process of walking through grieving the loss of a loved one, that gift from you made a difference for many.
Thank you for sharing your story, Derek. I'm a 23-year-old woman and you've inspired me to eat better and be more compassionate 💗 Hope you know that you're carrying on Amanda's legacy by inspiring millions of us to be more empathetic. The world needs more people like you :)
When I received the alert that you had posted this video, I was sitting in the dark and crying after having received my final divorce papers. My heart immediately went to you and your struggle. The strength you developed on your journey is inspiring. Thank you for the perspective. 💚
From experience, you too will find your strength. A good friend gave me this advice: you must do something for yourself to help you move forward. What have you always wanted to learn or accomplished. Once you take that step, a whole new world will open itself to you.
Divorce is literally ripping what has become one, in two. Divorce has been destroying lives for decades. Not just the married, but their children feel and live this destruction. I'm so sorry my dear! Jesus Christ was the only one to mend my heart, heal it, return it to whole and able to feel joy. He was my LAST hope. He did not disappoint, and I live in amazement of His Grace. I MUST SHARE because nothing else comes close to the love of God. May God bless you.
Amanda made a big difference in your life, while she lived and when she passed. What a life to honour. Thank you for sharing your life with Amanda, as well as, your experience with dealing with tragic loss. This was lovely, Derek. I’m so glad you have Frankie…she is a little love bug.❤❤❤
19 днів тому+3
I thought I wasn’t grieving, until I watched this. You helped me a lot just now.
I've been following your videos for a few months now, but this one stopped me in my tracks. 26 years ago, at the tender age of 2, my son KNEW that eating animal products was just wrong. He lived virtually meat free and was way ahead of his time. He was taken from me 6 years ago and every single one of your words resonates with me... From dealing with friends to dealing with the self.... it's HARD. Finding that purpose and reason to get out of bed every day is so important. I send you all the white light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing with all of us, Derek 💜
The suffering is never ending. Finding new ways to support our hearts is crucial to not just survival but thriving in the face of the worst pain we ever know. Bless you and your family. Your son is blessed for his beautifully crafted family❤
Thank you. I recently discovered your channel. I clicked on one of your videos because I recently started eating vegan and needed some inspiration around tofu. Although I watch a lot of cooking programs I just felt really drawn to you. You had a pleasing personality. I just saw this video for the first time and now I know why and, I too have been on a grief journey. Not the same situation, but I understand the pain and I’m also a hairstylist so I understand the artistic journey and I have been spiritually awakened for many years and this is just another journey that I am on as far as grief and rediscovering a new path that spirit has laid out for me. My heart goes out to you in your healing journey and thank you for sharing your story. myheart needed that today.. ✌️
I can't imagine how difficult it must've been to make this video. The fact you decided to share this with your audience exemplifies your compassion and desire to help others, whether it be through delicious, non-harmful recipes, or sharing life experiences. Thank you Derek! ☮️
Non harmful how? If you care about animal lives then you surely would be concerned about the pesticides that kill animals who try to eat the plants. No such thing as harmless 😂.
Was 15 years in June. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me as it feels all other people are able to move on. Thank you for acknowledging that it is normal. And people grief differently. Also being single ever since. No one can measure up to him.
Dearest Derek, wow, tears shedding here. I just only found you a few days ago, loving your style and food, amazing flavors, prescribed and purchased your book. I felt something was missing and sadness you held deep in your heart, now , I see the missing puzzle piece , your jewel , Amanda. My heart deeply goes out to you , so beautiful the way you love her. I love that you looked into her book and saw the meaning, the peace in your yard and Francesca who keep you company, your energy you put into cooking and giving us your precious gift, Thank YOU , 🙏🏻
"Nobody asked me how I felt *_about it._* " I lost my dad when I was 16, and my mom when I was 32, and this little phrase made me reflect a lot. Plenty of people will ask you how you feel, but nobody asks how you feel specifically about that loss.
@@FunUrth4AllI think that people are just afraid to ask or discuss the loss for fear of hurting the individual. Talk may help heal but it is the sadness that is so very difficult.
You are beautiful Derek. Through my losses…I have discovered that if you truly love another…you will be OK. You will be OK…because love can never die. Keep loving Amanda and you will sprinkle her beauty throughout every moment of your wonderful life. I now know why your food is so beautiful.
Timing moments of grief years later seems like a good idea. One day I was grieving so hard I felt a dark hole as I caught myself wailing. I shocked myself. I stopped immediately and realized that the type of grief I was falling into was not productive, healing and wouldn’t change anything. It’s like I slapped myself in the face to shake loose. . I still cry sometimes but I won’t go down that dark hole again
Nearly four years ago, my husband and I lost our 24-year-old daughter to her self-negating mental illness. By telling your story of loss and grief you've provided help with healing for many, including me. My husband doesn't talk much about losing our girl, but I talk all the time. He digs into the dirt and has created beautiful gardens around our home. Reminds me of you preparing food. I strongly believe that, in healing, we may discover who we were meant to be. I am counting on that and I firmly believe that the love we have for our lost ones grows and grows over time. It is a blessing. The love just IS. Thank you.
So beautiful and heartfelt, Derek. Twenty five years for me. Look how people are responding to you, they really feel understood. People don't like to talk to the grieving about their loved one because they think they might hurt them, when the opposite is really true, that they love to hear their loved one remembered and talked about. She was beautiful, thank you for sharing her memory.
Thank you Derek, my beloved husband lost his 11 year battle with pancreatic cancer 2 years ago. It is so overwhelming. You said several things that gave me a new perspective. I’m probably going to watch this a few more times. If nothing else death does make us feel everything.
Hi Derek- thank you so much for sharing your very personal and beautiful story and photos. I have experienced grief many times in my life. From the time I was nine until very recently at the (unbelievable) age of 70 and my heart resonates with the many layered process you describe. And also, each of us grieves so differently and for the amount of time that is right for us as beings on our own unique journey. I have only recently discovered your channel and I wanted to express my gratitude and admiration for your work!
You don't need to forgive the driver to live in peace. Being overkind to wrong people only increase the crimes. Just remember that you didn't do it and your partner must had wanted you to live your life happily. You can feel sad time to time because it's natural but don't let it to overpower your whole life.
@@LoveYourself-my9nzwho said the other driver was “wrong”?What if the other driver just made a mistake like we all do? What if they were reckless in life and on the road because of some other factor like their childhood experience ? Distracted thinking of something bad that happened too them recently ? You can and should always forgive. People are what they were given. And we all make mistakes big and small.
@@Elishwagalle Humans make mistakes, that's why we need to lower the cost of a mistake. If I run into someone while zoned out, but I'm walking, we're both fine. But I can't avoid cars at all, I'm forced to always live my life in fear that someone will kill me while zoned out.
Thank you for sharing this very personal journey and message. I started eating more plant based over 20 years ago and about 8 years ago I committed to vegan. It started to help me manage my MS symptoms but has evolved into a shift in my mindset and life. You are so right. Nothing needs to suffer for me to live.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am also grieving and I recently stopped drinking because I need to sit in my emotions and just feel it all. I think our busy lives have everyone numb and mindless which makes it all so much harder but everyday it’s worth it. July is also my more sensitive month. I will be thinking of you and your love for Amanda. Thanks for all you do and share with us!❤❤
Oh my goodness, I knew I didn’t just stumble upon your videos by accident. I don’t think I need to say more than that. I’m where I’m meant to be, headed in the direction I’m meant to go. Thank you for sharing your story. And obviously thank you for the food inspiration! Feeling inspired and motivated to cook for the first time in months. ❤ Much love.
Your history is devastating and beautiful. What an incredible journey to reach the point where you discovered every living thing is precious. Thank you
Thank you for making this video. My wife also passed away but from cancer when we were both 26. She fought it for many years until there was nothing left to help her. Unfortunately it wasn’t an easy passing and I live with the trauma revolving those events. It’s been 2 years since she died on the 28th of October, 2022. The pain of her loss is also still felt the same as that dark day. I try and find things to keep me occupied or set goal to keep me from not giving up, on her or myself. Thank you for making this video and helping me a little bit less alone in my situation! Much love as you too continue down this road without your better half ❤
This is sucha beautiful story. I cannot imagine what it means to lose someone permanently from your life. And I couldn't have imagined you went through all of that grief to become who you are. I'll say it again. You are one of the few men I look upto in life. I wanna be like you. And I love how compassionate you are. Thank you for sharing your journey with me.
The tears fell for this video. It’s 18 months since my love ended his life. When I met him 12 years ago, I knew he wouldn’t be around long…deep in my being, it sounds crazy. I did everything I could to help him and it wasn’t enough. I was sending texts and being all normal rambling on and he was already gone. 😢 I lost my mom 17 years ago…just 4 days after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Again, I knew long before and couldn’t get her physicians to listen and she refused second opinions because she didn’t want to offend them. 💔 Thank you for all you do, Derek. You definitely add value and enhance my passion for cooking. Your continued vulnerability and love for all is an inspiration. I wanted to become a death doula because I want the stigma around death and grief to be broken…maybe one day. It’s conversations like your video that will continue to reach those that need it. Much love to you and Frankie. “Grief is just love with no where to go.”
I could wait to type after drying the tears, but the tears do not stop. Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for your many lessons. You have a beautiful soul.
“You are not your thoughts.” Thank you for that reminder and for sharing your feelings. I personally feel the emotion of grief is by far the hardest-there’s no road map.💚
This is heart wrenching and profound. I was at the bedside of both my parents n my MIL who passed within the last 4 years. It’s traumatic …and feels like emotional neuralgia. Thank you for sharing - I feel less alone even as I want to run away.
I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I lost my little girl in 2014. I'm still in the throws of her death. This connects with me on such a profound level. I can't thank you enough.
🐕 Last week I had to say farewell to my dog 15.5 yo 🐶 Bronson, we were never apart & I’m grieving in my alone time. Seeing you pour love on Frankie makes me so happy and hearing your thoughts on grief is extremely helpful. I’m so sorry for the loss of your wife and so pleased that you found a meaningful way to spend your life going animals and people! I’m so glad I found your channel. Thank you 🙏🏼 BIG LOVE TO YOU & FRANKIE 🌸
DEREK !!!! Thank you -- I’ve been such a fan for your fantastic cooking and amazing videos. To share so deeply and let us really get to know you is such a gift piled next to all the many gifts you give with your videos, your compassion and how you freely give us recipes for tasty amazing less harmful food. I am so inspired and feel so lucky to have this channel. Please give Frankie a big kiss for me. THANK YOU FOR BEING A SHINING EXAMPLE.
I have a similar story. I launched into a retelling and then thought it's obvious others share that deep feeling. Tx for your comment. Derek a good man indeed.
As someone who also found comfort in Buddhism, meditation and compassion after many deeply painful losses, I feel immense gratitude to have stumbled upon this video today. I love your cooking videos and now seeing each new vegan recipe you post will hit even harder and be another reminder of why I am committed to a compassionate life. Thank you for sharing. May all beings know peace.
Wow! Thank you for everything that you do. You do make a difference. I am sorry for the loss of your partner and the grief that you have experienced. Much love and respect.
I love your story. I have been vegan for last 3 yrs, vegetarian for last 10 years. I found my true-self and I like the new version on myself. Don't want to hurt any beings, want to love all livings (incl humans) with open arms. I wish for everyone to think about where their food is coming from and how much it suffered to be on their plate.
I admire your love and commitment to Amanda. I admire your willingness to change and become your best at helping and serving others. This was a raw, soul-bearing video, but it was worth the struggle to put it out. What are we all here for if not to show who we are deep inside and embrace one another with the deepest respect and empathy? God bless you, Derek! You have touched many lives and are fulfilling your life's mission!
Thank you for sharing that with me…us…the world. I lost my sister in October of 2022. The grief has been almost crippling (if I allowed it) but instead it has taught me to embrace life. Thank you for your absolutely beautiful recipes. I’ve been plant based for over 30 years. I love this compassionate lifestyle💜
Derek, my heart feels bruised, hearing about Amanda. Time does heal the wounds, but the scars always remain. So to look at the scars and trace their story with love and light, the journey will continue as you live your life with compassion and caring. ❤. Dearest Frankie, with a heart and spirit of pure gold will be by your side to help you along your daily life. I'm so grateful to have found your channel and you light up my day with your chats, recipes and gentle way with a hint of chilli. Take care and hugs to Frankie with her golden eyes. Gale x
Thank you Derek sharing your transformation through your grief journey. I feel and relate to your experience as I lost my beloved just over a year ago to ovarian cancer. The landscape of my life has been transformed into a new reality, a world without the one who meant so much to me on so many levels. You honor Amanda as I honor my Kengi. Our lives were forever touched by their presence and love in our lives. Your resolve to remap your life with deep meaning and conviction is most admirable. I see the grace and respect bestowed upon your creations, a true work of love. Your dishes emanate joy and ultimate edibility. May your fountain of creativity never cease, for you are bringing joy to all, vegan and non-vegan. 🙏
Loss is hard. I have lost much and many and it's never something previous experiences help with. I feel your pain. I'm not your acquaintance. I don't know you beyond the videos but please accept my hugs and thank you for the food suggestions and there is a community of people here who care.
Yes, my sister died suddenly this year and there was no one who was able to really be there for me. In fact, my partner left me right after she died. And still, 8 months later, no one asks me about it. Not one word. No one brings it up or asks me how I am with it. It's like Lynn's death just "vanished". But it didn't. And she didn't.. And I'm still working through this grief process alone. So thank you for your words. My kitty, who is not long for this world either, has been my source of joy through it all. To see her little face and feel her soft fur from the moment I wake up, is the greatest of gifts. 🐱
I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost many family members. Grief is hard to explain. I haven't had any foods that harm animals or use chemicals that harm the earth in 30 years. I try to save animals daily that need help. You have been an inspiration & helped me upgrade my cooking. Thank you for being who you are.
God bless you, my friend 🙏. You might not see it, but your passion for the changes made in your life has affected a group of folks. You can tell that Amanda's spirit moves on through you. Many blessings.
Grief followed me for 11 years and I couldn't figure it out. It occupied half of all my thoughts every single day. I figured I should be over it after a decade and was too embarrassed to bring it up. It wasn't until last month when I told a friend it was the anniversary of her leaving and that it hit especially hard. He asked if memories were intrusive and I said yes. And he told me, amongst other things, that I could be experiencing trauma. Chronic grief is a trauma. Just naming the thing that had been haunting me for years, allowing it to be seen, having it also validated by my therapist, allowed me to let it go. Things I knew in my heart-of-hearts clicked into place after that. The grief no longer feels like a burden, but a visitation - a bird instead of an iron anchor. I think I needed to learn a lot of lessons to get to this point, I had to build the bridge before I could walk across it. Years of therapy, lots of journaling and reading and introspection. Everybody's bridges are different, and everyone grieves differently. Thank you for sharing your grief, Derek. It allows us to love you more.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your transformational journey. It's hard to reconcile losing someone you love so much. I went through a dark night of the soul when Covid hit. Thankfully, it wasn't the loss of a loved one, but it was the loss of my business, all of my savings, and my home, when tourism completely dried up where I was located. I was pretty devastated, and didn't know how I'd get out of this very painful situation. When I started to get back to my practice of Kundalini Yoga and meditation, my depression improved and my circumstances started to slowly get better. I really focused my energy on being creative and feeling grateful for the smallest of good things. Creating a new yummy vegetarian dish was therapeutic for me; sharing it with friends was even better. It feels like that's what you're doing in welcoming us into your kitchen with Frankie and sharing delicious recipes with all of us. For a change, I made Rockefeller Tofu for Thanksgiving. I am enjoying learning Chef secrets, tricks, and new recipes from you. It's good for you and good for all of us--Win-Win!
I lost someone very dear to me recently and processing real grief for the first time has been one of the hardest things in my life. thanks for sharing your story, your words soaked into my being and helped me with the some of the ideas I have around grief as well. also getting her ashes tattooed into you is one of the most beautiful and also metal things ive ever heard
Since becoming plant based 14 years ago my cooking style has evolved. I cook for myself and others every day. My internal mantra is “I serve”. Meditation has also assisted on my journey in unimaginable ways. Thanks to you and your generous time and incredible recipes. I’ve been able to cook outside the box, I mean, they are wow! You are a tofu genius!! Also. Thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing your love, and grief Derek.
It's true, grief is very personal and you can't put a limit on it. My Dad passed away 16 years ago this coming January 23rd. I am crying typing this. Like you I say to myself soon, just soon 😢
I lost my amazing husband to cancer in 2011. He was 52. Amazingly HE was my strength not the other way around. It has been a tough road since ( but with lots of animals) and i so appreciate your commentary about grief!
I started my journey into myself at age four. I joined with music and the piano and at 78, still spend my most meaningful existence there. I have a most beloved child but I am alone in music. I am alone, but not lonely. When my husband died, every single friend left. That was 21 years ago.
The father of my children died last week, 6/27/24 (this was also our youngest son’s 19th birthday). I believe one of the incredible things about being human is that we have to capacity to empathize. Thank you for this video & beautiful tribute to her, and your life together.
So humble Derek, and to show this to an open audience, demonstrates how you wish to help others through your own loss and grief 💚 I lost my Dad, when he was in early 50s, like me now, and Father's Day sometimes triggers me 😢 Thank you for sharing and as you've shown it is so good to talk 🙏
I am so so sorry for your loss. My hubby died almost 10 years ago from cancer. I miss him everyday. For me, the best way to honor the dead, is by living a rich, beautiful life filled with love and laughter. Being happy doing the things you love and having compassion for all living beings. I'd love it if talking about death was more normalized. I'm so glad you shared today. It was beautiful. You are brave. Sending love and light.🕯️🕯️🕯️
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One day I was speaking with a woman who lost her son to brain cancer. I asked her, what is something I can say to someone who is going through grief instead of saying “sorry for your loss” and she said “ I want people to ask what he was like, People always thing I don’t want to talk about him but I love talking about him” Now, each time I ask someone “What was their name and what kinds of things were they interested in?” It’s been amazing. People light up and share about their loved ones. “ He loved to fish” “She loved to grow giant pumpkin’s!” Maybe more of us can try this.
Thank you for this Very good advice! I’ll take it!!!
Beautiful!
As an ex Hospice Nurse and full time caregiver I became so overwhelmed by death and dying it's taken me 8 years to get on the other side of trying to find my own life. My mom died suddenly while scuba diving her 1st dive after training.
It was a very stormy time in my life and now my five kids are grown it's time for me.
I've found magical wonderful new ways but the more I press into the light I guess I'm at that all the moths are responding time frame of pushing thru to higher dimensions.
Right now I stayed in bed all day yesterday to process a family gathering misunderstanding s yup about me...
I'm sick of the stigma of grief when people even ones in the mental health care are so knowledgeable they don't really see it hear either.
It made me very sad to realize they really don't get IT or ME & IT JUST MADE ME SAD TO REALIZE THEIR NIT MY TRIBE RIGHT NOW.
We've been thru alot and you love your kids & want to be around them.
It's hard to think of stepping away a bit..
I need to be with people who are accepting that my path doesn't have to look like they think it should.
I never fit that mold anyway.
Just kinda sad😢
Healing. Will keep this in my thoughts what you said It's been 5 years since my Mother left. The tears never stop but now I can smile through my tears.
In the last couple of years I have been asking "What was your favorite thing about them?"
I also experience deep grief. It never really leaves you, but you learn to live with it.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your motivations. For me it is food for tnought.
This is what a REAL man is about 🌟
Right??? What a wonderful representation!
Please do not underestimate the compassionate energy you bring to the world. Your connection to Amanda's spirit is beautiful and vibrant.
So beautifully stated ❤
Beautifully said and so true! ❤
Wow! Thankyou Derek for Sharing. Frankie is so beautiful and loved!
Lovely comment.❤
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I started my disappearing act when I was nine, after my mother died from cancer. After I didn’t see her family anymore and my father shut down. No more holidays. No more birthdays. No more warmth. The only thing that made me feel less empty was playing piano and then cooking. No one ever cooked for me after my mother died, but I found some of her recipes and I made them as best I could with what was around. When I had kids, I made everything for them from scratch. I’ve known so little love in my life but I was able to manifest it out of nowhere to make sure my kids were loved. I still feel invisible, but I want to put good things out into the world so that others don’t feel like I do. ❤ thank you for your videos. My household has been vegan for a long long time. I could never hurt an animal or wish violence upon them for my food
What a beautiful comment
❤
@@tigrette11 I read this recently and it filled my heart with renewed purpose and power: Without your wounds where would your power be? It is your melancholy that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men and women. The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. In Love’s service, only wounded soldiers can serve. … we are all broken and the best in each of us will use that to heal. If not ourselves, then others. Cooking is definitely one of my love languages. I love cooking for people and I do my best to do it well and with care. Many of us do this. It’s is amazing.
A beautifully written comment, my story is very similar but I couldn't write it like you did ❤
🌹
Nothing needs to suffer or die for me to lead a happy successful life.....a great sentiment.
I’m Grieving as well. my beautiful magical gifted Daughter . Just two years ago. Everyday I tragically miss her. Her beautiful Service Dog, Sir Teddy, is my Warrior and Helper . He keeps me busy and healthy .
💓
Brother, I can tell your Frankie is a savior to you. She is a gift from above.
Why are you people saying things like that, I don't get it... there is no "above".
@@nizahe2731 It's a state of mind, bud. Please feel free to move along if you don't want to believe that, it's not up for debate.
@@nizahe2731How do you know?Stop telling others what to believe,you are entitled to your belief,have the courtesy and decency to let others have theirs and it's irritating when negative nelly s like you come here and spoil it for the rest of us.
@@CATSFOREVER308
I had a near death experience when I was eight yo. My first realization was that I was above the scene (about 10 feet up), my body laying on the ground and surrounded by worried friends and family (all kids around my age). Me wondering how I could see without eyeballs. Seriously! That was my first thought up there.
Hovering above is very common in NDEs. If you read more you’ll see that, when returned to the body after the literally wonderful experience* people often tell witnesses what they said and did, and the listeners are shocked because they are correct (because it actually happened). This includes many people who had flatlined in hospital.
In my case, they were mad at me because they thought I faked laying there and not breathing for several minutes.
*All NDEs have commonalities, like the hovering, but the heart of the experience is different for most. In my case, I traveled around a planet in a stream of souls that looked like points of light, then ended up in an oak tree who could feel all the life in branches, bark and and roots. I was that oak tree.
It’s no wonder people named the other side Heaven, Jannah, Shamayim, etc. and built marvelous myths around it.
@@nizahe2731
I had a near death experience when I was eight yo. My first realization was that I was above the scene (about 10 feet up), my body laying on the ground and surrounded by worried friends and family (all kids around my age). Me wondering how I could see without eyeballs. Seriously! That was my first thought up there.
Hovering above is very common in NDEs. If you read more you’ll see that, when returned to the body after the literally wonderful experience* people often tell witnesses what they said and did, and the listeners are shocked because they are correct (because it actually happened). This includes many people who had flatlined in hospital.
In my case, they were mad at me because they thought I faked laying there and not breathing for several minutes.
*All NDEs have commonalities, like the hovering, but the heart of the experience is different for most. In my case, I traveled around a planet in a stream of souls that looked like points of light, then ended up in an oak tree who could feel all the life in branches, bark and and roots. I was that oak tree.
It’s no wonder people named the other side Heaven, Jannah, Shamayim, etc. and built marvelous myths around it.
My daughter passed away suddenly a month ago. I cried during this video. Sitting with the grief is a hard thing to do but I'm compelled to do so. I honestly don't know how to survive this.
I wish I could put my arms around you. Been there. So unbelievably hard. Hugs.
@@robinr5669 🙏🏽
There’s a wonderful foundation called the Miss Foundation. You should Google it. It’s for parents who have lost children. I know the founder.
I don't know words powerful enough to help you in this moment, but I want to send you a big, big hug full of love and compassion 🩷
@@Silvia-rf4yd 🙏🏽
This was one of the most beautiful videos I have ever seen. It honors you and your loved one. Thank you for sharing.
thankyou so much for this. its exactly what i needed. its 18 weeks today since my dad was killed. he was my world. the last person i had, apart from my bestfriend, who lives in america, and is deep in depression. so i cant burden him. everyone else i love, is dead. mum was killed 9 yrs ago. my brother died 26 yrs ago. everyone else went along the way. i really appreciate the time limit idea, as lately ive been in total denial. pretending its not real. it bubbles up sometimes, but i push it down. with mum i lost myself in it, but i had dad to look after me. now i have no one. this is a beautiful tribute, to her beautiful soul. you have helped me more than you can ever understand. im just counting down until i join everyone, but dont want to let them down by wasting the time i have left. grief sucks. sending love to you and everyone who knows it. sorry it was so long. i doubt anyone will read it anyway. 💕💖💕
You’ve suffered so much loss. I’m so sorry. 😢
Very sorry ! In your life It is too much los and pain. Only way to go through is to go in, in the Source of your beautiful Being.
Anderson Cooper (cbs “ About grief”) speaks so about grief, his own and others, and had invited anyone to speak on calls….he,s listened to every one, ,each as unique as the loss. He,s made his healing about changing the culture around death. Thank you for sharing yours and a way to hold it for your life.
You’re changing the world one person at a time by speaking about this. I just quit a 30 year career in Tech to become a certified End of Life Doula to help normalize death, and embrace talking about loss openly. No one should have to be alone in their grief because the people in their lives don’t know how to support them (no judgement - it’s endemic in our society). You are a beautiful soul, Derek. Thank you for this video. It’s my favorite to date. ❤
Congratulations on hopefully a very gratifying transition out of binary 0s and 1s.
❤
❤@@sharonb537
How are you feeling about being a doula? I did an introductory session, I feel it calling to me in some ways but not sure.
I have a feeling the only time I won’t be alone is when I die IF I am lucky enough to get somewhere to be taken care of 😅 I’m so happy you have followed your heart to be there for people when they most need to be loved
I lost my husband of almost 30 years 1 month ago. He was in pain, but manageable. He was slowing down considerably in his last month. Sleeping a lot. I am plant based and he was pretty much so. His appetite was good even up to the night before he passed. I miss him terribly. As the all the fuss abates from this, (going to the bank, getting all the paperwork done, figuring out the computer)… I find the evenings so quiet. People really don’t know what to say, and I get that. I will find my way. I found your video comforting as I love cooking and make food for not just myself, but I tend to give some to friends (who love my cooking, bless their hearts, as I always make too much)… He was 84. I’m 72. There are pockets of deep sadness, but nothing is permanent, so I know this will pass. Thank you for sharing your story. And your incredible talent for cooking. 🇨🇦
Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤
Give it time .I have heard for every year you spent together it takes a month to start to heal. so give it time.. those sad feelings will turn into joyful memories, I promise.
An Irish prayer that helps me when I am missing those I love on the other side "Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away to the next room-
I am I, and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, That, we still are"
I believe with all my being they are still with us. Guiding. Watching. Protecting.
That is beautifully true
They are with Jesus! There is no greater love and joy.
Beautiful prayer thank you for sharing 🙏
Amen
I lost my wife 2 yrs ago in August from cancer. I am still fighting the grief and trying to figure out where I’m going now. It is so hard to let her go. As you said, it’s a lonely time. It tore my heart from my chest. I’m allowing myself grace now. Which is a major step forward. Thanks again for sharing your story. It gave me time to reflect.
Sorry for your loss. Love how you’ve turned grief into compassion for all living things. Thank you for sharing how Amanda lives on through your work.
Sitting in the grief...what a brave thing to do. 6 years ago on the last day of July, 2018, with no warning, the phone call came from a New Orleans cop that my beautiful 22 year old son, Jacob, was found dead of an accidental overdose. For at least 3 years after, I couldn't listen to music or sit for any minutes without distraction. Thinking and music and talking made me feel and I couldn't bear the weight of those feelings. I think in grief- we each do what we can to survive, to keep breathing in the midst of unbearable pain and anguish. Much love to you on the loss of your loved one in this life
Much love to you for what you have endured. God bless you * your family.
This is a beautiful tribute to Amanda.
Fellow vegan here, 15 years. I just discovered you a few weeks back. Love your channel!
I lost the love of my life four years ago July 23rd. I’m no stranger to grief, but it still really sucks! Sadly it is just part of this life we live. It gets better only if we face it, move through it in time as you e been doing. They are with us always. 🩷
Thank you for sharing your story. ❤
I am so grateful for you making this video!
As a doctor who works in oncology I often have to deal with people loosing their loved ones. Sadly our culture has los many of the rituals and wisdom of dealing with death.
Many people think they just have to get on with life and lose themselves in the process.
You are such a strong person, dealing with the loss of Amanda and turning towards love and compassion instead of cynicism and bitterness.
Please know that you are one truly precious human being who teaches so many of us how to show compassion!!
And you as well. The wonderful things you said could be said about you as well. How wonderful you are a physician. 💕
Thank you for sharing, you are loved and appreciated...you make a difference in many ways, and in the 10:13 minutes of our lives that we took to watch and listen to your story, thoughts, feelings, process of walking through grieving the loss of a loved one, that gift from you made a difference for many.
I lost my husband 2 years ago. So very hard. I am learning how to move forward WITH him instead of moving on. He is always a part of me.
Thank you for sharing your story, Derek. I'm a 23-year-old woman and you've inspired me to eat better and be more compassionate 💗
Hope you know that you're carrying on Amanda's legacy by inspiring millions of us to be more empathetic. The world needs more people like you :)
I love you Derek. What you share with plant foods is helping me tremendously. Thank you for existing with such grace and compassion.
Proud of you sir, love and respect from a Buddhist from Sri Lanka!
When I received the alert that you had posted this video, I was sitting in the dark and crying after having received my final divorce papers. My heart immediately went to you and your struggle. The strength you developed on your journey is inspiring. Thank you for the perspective. 💚
I am so sorry. Praying for you. I know how difficult that is. Blessings and hugs
So sorry. ❤
From experience, you too will find your strength. A good friend gave me this advice: you must do something for yourself to help you move forward. What have you always wanted to learn or accomplished. Once you take that step, a whole new world will open itself to you.
Namo Amituofo. Good blessings to U. May U be well and happy.
Divorce is literally ripping what has become one, in two. Divorce has been destroying lives for decades. Not just the married, but their children feel and live this destruction.
I'm so sorry my dear! Jesus Christ was the only one to mend my heart, heal it, return it to whole and able to feel joy. He was my LAST hope. He did not disappoint, and I live in amazement of His Grace. I MUST SHARE because nothing else comes close to the love of God. May God bless you.
You are amazing my friend. This was so brave of you to share. Thank you for all that you share with the world. 🙏🏽
Amanda made a big difference in your life, while she lived and when she passed. What a life to honour. Thank you for sharing your life with Amanda, as well as, your experience with dealing with tragic loss. This was lovely, Derek. I’m so glad you have Frankie…she is a little love bug.❤❤❤
I thought I wasn’t grieving, until I watched this. You helped me a lot just now.
I've been following your videos for a few months now, but this one stopped me in my tracks. 26 years ago, at the tender age of 2, my son KNEW that eating animal products was just wrong. He lived virtually meat free and was way ahead of his time. He was taken from me 6 years ago and every single one of your words resonates with me... From dealing with friends to dealing with the self.... it's HARD. Finding that purpose and reason to get out of bed every day is so important. I send you all the white light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing with all of us, Derek 💜
I’m so terribly sorry for your unthinkable loss… sending you so much love…
Very sorry for your loss....
Wow - that's some sucker punch....
I'm so sorry for your loss.
The suffering is never ending. Finding new ways to support our hearts is crucial to not just survival but thriving in the face of the worst pain we ever know. Bless you and your family. Your son is blessed for his beautifully crafted family❤
Love you! 💛 Thank you for making this video. Thank you for keeping compassion in front. 🌟
Thanks for sharing this powerful, albeit painful story. This honors her. May her memory be forever for a blessing.❤
Ok
Yuu want to know the truth extreme doesn’t work
Thank you. I recently discovered your channel. I clicked on one of your videos because I recently started eating vegan and needed some inspiration around tofu. Although I watch a lot of cooking programs I just felt really drawn to you. You had a pleasing personality. I just saw this video for the first time and now I know why and, I too have been on a grief journey. Not the same situation, but I understand the pain and I’m also a hairstylist so I understand the artistic journey and I have been spiritually awakened for many years and this is just another journey that I am on as far as grief and rediscovering a new path that spirit has laid out for me. My heart goes out to you in your healing journey and thank you for sharing your story. myheart needed that today.. ✌️
I can't imagine how difficult it must've been to make this video. The fact you decided to share this with your audience exemplifies your compassion and desire to help others, whether it be through delicious, non-harmful recipes, or sharing life experiences. Thank you Derek! ☮️
Non harmful how? If you care about animal lives then you surely would be concerned about the pesticides that kill animals who try to eat the plants. No such thing as harmless 😂.
@@EricaRossini-s3b Unless you grow your own organic vegetables.
Sending a virtual hug your way sweet man.
Was 15 years in June. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me as it feels all other people are able to move on. Thank you for acknowledging that it is normal. And people grief differently.
Also being single ever since. No one can measure up to him.
It was brave and vulnerable to share your story - thank you, Derek! What you are adding to the world is beautiful; Amanda is shining through. ❤
Dearest Derek, wow, tears shedding here. I just only found you a few days ago, loving your style and food, amazing flavors, prescribed and purchased your book. I felt something was missing and sadness you held deep in your heart, now , I see the missing puzzle piece , your jewel , Amanda. My heart deeply goes out to you , so beautiful the way you love her. I love that you looked into her book and saw the meaning, the peace in your yard and Francesca who keep you company, your energy you put into cooking and giving us your precious gift, Thank YOU , 🙏🏻
Beautiful story. I'm so glad you could turn your grief into something positive. Keep up the good work and thanks for taking us along!
"Nobody asked me how I felt *_about it._* "
I lost my dad when I was 16, and my mom when I was 32, and this little phrase made me reflect a lot. Plenty of people will ask you how you feel, but nobody asks how you feel specifically about that loss.
People don't know asking questions help us heal our souls❤
@@FunUrth4AllI think that people are just afraid to ask or discuss the loss for fear of hurting the individual. Talk may help heal but it is the sadness that is so very difficult.
Wow, thanks for sharing your story! I am a Buddhist also. It does help to get past things.
You are beautiful Derek.
Through my losses…I have discovered that if you truly love another…you will be OK.
You will be OK…because love can never die.
Keep loving Amanda and you will sprinkle her beauty throughout every moment of your wonderful life.
I now know why your food is so beautiful.
Timing moments of grief years later seems like a good idea. One day I was grieving so hard I felt a dark hole as I caught myself wailing. I shocked myself. I stopped immediately and realized that the type of grief I was falling into was not productive, healing and wouldn’t change anything. It’s like I slapped myself in the face to shake loose. . I still cry sometimes but I won’t go down that dark hole again
Nearly four years ago, my husband and I lost our 24-year-old daughter to her self-negating mental illness. By telling your story of loss and grief you've provided help with healing for many, including me. My husband doesn't talk much about losing our girl, but I talk all the time. He digs into the dirt and has created beautiful gardens around our home. Reminds me of you preparing food. I strongly believe that, in healing, we may discover who we were meant to be. I am counting on that and I firmly believe that the love we have for our lost ones grows and grows over time. It is a blessing. The love just IS. Thank you.
Tubaphantom, blessings to you and your husband. x
So beautiful and heartfelt, Derek. Twenty five years for me. Look how people are responding to you, they really feel understood. People don't like to talk to the grieving about their loved one because they think they might hurt them, when the opposite is really true, that they love to hear their loved one remembered and talked about. She was beautiful, thank you for sharing her memory.
Thank you Derek, my beloved husband lost his 11 year battle with pancreatic cancer 2 years ago. It is so overwhelming. You said several things that gave me a new perspective. I’m probably going to watch this a few more times. If nothing else death does make us feel everything.
Hi Derek- thank you so much for sharing your very personal and beautiful story and photos. I have experienced grief many times in my life. From the time I was nine until very recently at the (unbelievable) age of 70 and my heart resonates with the many layered process you describe. And also, each of us grieves so differently and for the amount of time that is right for us as beings on our own unique journey. I have only recently discovered your channel and I wanted to express my gratitude and admiration for your work!
Lost my partner 11 years ago in a car accident, also not his fault. I chose to forgive the other driver and I found peace.
💟💟💟 Very wise person...
I wish I could live somewhere without traffic violence but the entire planet is infested with cars.
You don't need to forgive the driver to live in peace. Being overkind to wrong people only increase the crimes. Just remember that you didn't do it and your partner must had wanted you to live your life happily. You can feel sad time to time because it's natural but don't let it to overpower your whole life.
@@LoveYourself-my9nzwho said the other driver was “wrong”?What if the other driver just made a mistake like we all do? What if they were reckless in life and on the road because of some other factor like their childhood experience ? Distracted thinking of something bad that happened too them recently ? You can and should always forgive. People are what they were given. And we all make mistakes big and small.
@@Elishwagalle Humans make mistakes, that's why we need to lower the cost of a mistake. If I run into someone while zoned out, but I'm walking, we're both fine. But I can't avoid cars at all, I'm forced to always live my life in fear that someone will kill me while zoned out.
So beautiful Derek. Thank you for sharing all that you are. ❤
I knew nothing about your story. Thank you for sharing this beautiful video which moved me to tears.
Thank you for sharing this very personal journey and message. I started eating more plant based over 20 years ago and about 8 years ago I committed to vegan. It started to help me manage my MS symptoms but has evolved into a shift in my mindset and life. You are so right. Nothing needs to suffer for me to live.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am also grieving and I recently stopped drinking because I need to sit in my emotions and just feel it all. I think our busy lives have everyone numb and mindless which makes it all so much harder but everyday it’s worth it. July is also my more sensitive month. I will be thinking of you and your love for Amanda. Thanks for all you do and share with us!❤❤
Oh my goodness, I knew I didn’t just stumble upon your videos by accident. I don’t think I need to say more than that. I’m where I’m meant to be, headed in the direction I’m meant to go. Thank you for sharing your story. And obviously thank you for the food inspiration! Feeling inspired and motivated to cook for the first time in months. ❤ Much love.
Your history is devastating and beautiful. What an incredible journey to reach the point where you discovered every living thing is precious. Thank you
Thank you for sharing the beautiful insight and wisdom you have gained.
Namaste
She would be proud of what you have accomplished and the messages & cooking you share with the world.
Thank you for making this video. My wife also passed away but from cancer when we were both 26. She fought it for many years until there was nothing left to help her. Unfortunately it wasn’t an easy passing and I live with the trauma revolving those events. It’s been 2 years since she died on the 28th of October, 2022. The pain of her loss is also still felt the same as that dark day. I try and find things to keep me occupied or set goal to keep me from not giving up, on her or myself. Thank you for making this video and helping me a little bit less alone in my situation! Much love as you too continue down this road without your better half ❤
love, hugs and peace to you Derek
This is sucha beautiful story. I cannot imagine what it means to lose someone permanently from your life. And I couldn't have imagined you went through all of that grief to become who you are. I'll say it again. You are one of the few men I look upto in life. I wanna be like you. And I love how compassionate you are. Thank you for sharing your journey with me.
The tears fell for this video. It’s 18 months since my love ended his life. When I met him 12 years ago, I knew he wouldn’t be around long…deep in my being, it sounds crazy. I did everything I could to help him and it wasn’t enough. I was sending texts and being all normal rambling on and he was already gone. 😢 I lost my mom 17 years ago…just 4 days after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Again, I knew long before and couldn’t get her physicians to listen and she refused second opinions because she didn’t want to offend them. 💔 Thank you for all you do, Derek. You definitely add value and enhance my passion for cooking. Your continued vulnerability and love for all is an inspiration. I wanted to become a death doula because I want the stigma around death and grief to be broken…maybe one day. It’s conversations like your video that will continue to reach those that need it. Much love to you and Frankie. “Grief is just love with no where to go.”
I could wait to type after drying the tears, but the tears do not stop. Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for your many lessons. You have a beautiful soul.
“You are not your thoughts.” Thank you for that reminder and for sharing your feelings. I personally feel the emotion of grief is by far the hardest-there’s no road map.💚
This is heart wrenching and profound. I was at the bedside of both my parents n my MIL who passed within the last 4 years. It’s traumatic …and feels like emotional neuralgia. Thank you for sharing - I feel less alone even as I want to run away.
I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I lost my little girl in 2014. I'm still in the throws of her death. This connects with me on such a profound level. I can't thank you enough.
Prayers❤
🐕 Last week I had to say farewell to my dog 15.5 yo 🐶 Bronson, we were never apart & I’m grieving in my alone time. Seeing you pour love on Frankie makes me so happy and hearing your thoughts on grief is extremely helpful.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your wife and so pleased that you found a meaningful way to spend your life going animals and people! I’m so glad I found your channel. Thank you 🙏🏼 BIG LOVE TO YOU & FRANKIE 🌸
You are an inspiration Derek. Thank you for sharing this video 🙏
DEREK !!!! Thank you -- I’ve been such a fan for your fantastic cooking and amazing videos. To share so deeply and let us really get to know you is such a gift piled next to all the many gifts you give with your videos, your compassion and how you freely give us recipes for tasty amazing less harmful food. I am so inspired and feel so lucky to have this channel. Please give Frankie a big kiss for me. THANK YOU FOR BEING A SHINING EXAMPLE.
I lost my partner a little over a year ago. Your story is truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing your gift and baring your soul. 🙏❤
I have a similar story. I launched into a retelling and then thought it's obvious others share that deep feeling. Tx for your comment. Derek a good man indeed.
As someone who also found comfort in Buddhism, meditation and compassion after many deeply painful losses, I feel immense gratitude to have stumbled upon this video today. I love your cooking videos and now seeing each new vegan recipe you post will hit even harder and be another reminder of why I am committed to a compassionate life. Thank you for sharing. May all beings know peace.
Wow! Thank you for everything that you do. You do make a difference. I am sorry for the loss of your partner and the grief that you have experienced. Much love and respect.
I love your story. I have been vegan for last 3 yrs, vegetarian for last 10 years. I found my true-self and I like the new version on myself. Don't want to hurt any beings, want to love all livings (incl humans) with open arms. I wish for everyone to think about where their food is coming from and how much it suffered to be on their plate.
Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and painful story. It was meaningful to hear. 🙏🙏🙏
I am sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for showing your lovely lab, & having this channel.
I admire your love and commitment to Amanda. I admire your willingness to change and become your best at helping and serving others. This was a raw, soul-bearing video, but it was worth the struggle to put it out. What are we all here for if not to show who we are deep inside and embrace one another with the deepest respect and empathy? God bless you, Derek! You have touched many lives and are fulfilling your life's mission!
Thank you for sharing that with me…us…the world. I lost my sister in October of 2022. The grief has been almost crippling (if I allowed it) but instead it has taught me to embrace life.
Thank you for your absolutely beautiful recipes. I’ve been plant based for over 30 years. I love this compassionate lifestyle💜
Derek, my heart feels bruised, hearing about Amanda. Time does heal the wounds, but the scars always remain. So to look at the scars and trace their story with love and light, the journey will continue as you live your life with compassion and caring. ❤. Dearest Frankie, with a heart and spirit of pure gold will be by your side to help you along your daily life. I'm so grateful to have found your channel and you light up my day with your chats, recipes and gentle way with a hint of chilli. Take care and hugs to Frankie with her golden eyes. Gale x
I was drawn in by your cooking but now, I know it's your spirit that keeps me interested. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing her memory with us, and your journey.
Thank you Derek sharing your transformation through your grief journey. I feel and relate to your experience as I lost my beloved just over a year ago to ovarian cancer. The landscape of my life has been transformed into a new reality, a world without the one who meant so much to me on so many levels. You honor Amanda as I honor my Kengi. Our lives were forever touched by their presence and love in our lives. Your resolve to remap your life with deep meaning and conviction is most admirable. I see the grace and respect bestowed upon your creations, a true work of love. Your dishes emanate joy and ultimate edibility. May your fountain of creativity never cease, for you are bringing joy to all, vegan and non-vegan. 🙏
Loss is hard. I have lost much and many and it's never something previous experiences help with. I feel your pain. I'm not your acquaintance. I don't know you beyond the videos but please accept my hugs and thank you for the food suggestions and there is a community of people here who care.
Yes, my sister died suddenly this year and there was no one who was able to really be there for me. In fact, my partner left me right after she died. And still, 8 months later, no one asks me about it. Not one word. No one brings it up or asks me how I am with it. It's like Lynn's death just "vanished". But it didn't. And she didn't.. And I'm still working through this grief process alone. So thank you for your words. My kitty, who is not long for this world either, has been my source of joy through it all. To see her little face and feel her soft fur from the moment I wake up, is the greatest of gifts. 🐱
I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost many family members. Grief is hard to explain. I haven't had any foods that harm animals or use chemicals that harm the earth in 30 years. I try to save animals daily that need help. You have been an inspiration & helped me upgrade my cooking. Thank you for being who you are.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. ❤
God bless you, my friend 🙏. You might not see it, but your passion for the changes made in your life has affected a group of folks. You can tell that Amanda's spirit moves on through you. Many blessings.
"...accept what has happened and find a way through it."
Message received. Thank you!! 🙏
Derek , thank you for showing your authentic side through your vulnerability in this video .
May Peace be with you ✨️ 🙏 ❤
“Grief is an opportunity to find Meaning in life. A lesson about compassion.”
Thank you for sharing with us 🙏🏻💚
Grief followed me for 11 years and I couldn't figure it out. It occupied half of all my thoughts every single day. I figured I should be over it after a decade and was too embarrassed to bring it up. It wasn't until last month when I told a friend it was the anniversary of her leaving and that it hit especially hard. He asked if memories were intrusive and I said yes. And he told me, amongst other things, that I could be experiencing trauma. Chronic grief is a trauma. Just naming the thing that had been haunting me for years, allowing it to be seen, having it also validated by my therapist, allowed me to let it go. Things I knew in my heart-of-hearts clicked into place after that. The grief no longer feels like a burden, but a visitation - a bird instead of an iron anchor. I think I needed to learn a lot of lessons to get to this point, I had to build the bridge before I could walk across it. Years of therapy, lots of journaling and reading and introspection. Everybody's bridges are different, and everyone grieves differently.
Thank you for sharing your grief, Derek. It allows us to love you more.
This is beautiful 🫶 Love and light to you xxx
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your transformational journey. It's hard to reconcile losing someone you love so much. I went through a dark night of the soul when Covid hit. Thankfully, it wasn't the loss of a loved one, but it was the loss of my business, all of my savings, and my home, when tourism completely dried up where I was located. I was pretty devastated, and didn't know how I'd get out of this very painful situation. When I started to get back to my practice of Kundalini Yoga and meditation, my depression improved and my circumstances started to slowly get better. I really focused my energy on being creative and feeling grateful for the smallest of good things. Creating a new yummy vegetarian dish was therapeutic for me; sharing it with friends was even better. It feels like that's what you're doing in welcoming us into your kitchen with Frankie and sharing delicious recipes with all of us. For a change, I made Rockefeller Tofu for Thanksgiving. I am enjoying learning Chef secrets, tricks, and new recipes from you. It's good for you and good for all of us--Win-Win!
I lost someone very dear to me recently and processing real grief for the first time has been one of the hardest things in my life. thanks for sharing your story, your words soaked into my being and helped me with the some of the ideas I have around grief as well. also getting her ashes tattooed into you is one of the most beautiful and also metal things ive ever heard
Spoken from your heart with so much compassion and quietly powerful.
Since becoming plant based 14 years ago my cooking style has evolved. I cook for myself and others every day. My internal mantra is “I serve”. Meditation has also assisted on my journey in unimaginable ways. Thanks to you and your generous time and incredible recipes. I’ve been able to cook outside the box, I mean, they are wow! You are a tofu genius!!
Also. Thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing your love, and grief Derek.
It's true, grief is very personal and you can't put a limit on it. My Dad passed away 16 years ago this coming January 23rd. I am crying typing this. Like you I say to myself soon, just soon 😢
I lost my amazing husband to cancer in 2011. He was 52. Amazingly HE was my strength not the other way around. It has been a tough road since ( but with lots of animals) and i so appreciate your commentary about grief!
I started my journey into myself at age four. I joined with music and the piano and at 78, still spend my most meaningful existence there. I have a most beloved child but I am alone in music. I am alone, but not lonely. When my husband died, every single friend left. That was 21 years ago.
Thank you for sharing this. Grief is hard. I'm thankful you are here to share your recipes and your wisdom, Derek.
The father of my children died last week, 6/27/24 (this was also our youngest son’s 19th birthday).
I believe one of the incredible things about being human is that we have to capacity to empathize.
Thank you for this video & beautiful tribute to her, and your life together.
Im so sorry for your loss... I completely understand... My husband took himself off the planet 30 yrs ago im still struggling 😢
Prayers❤
So humble Derek, and to show this to an open audience, demonstrates how you wish to help others through your own loss and grief 💚 I lost my Dad, when he was in early 50s, like me now, and Father's Day sometimes triggers me 😢 Thank you for sharing and as you've shown it is so good to talk 🙏
I am so so sorry for your loss. My hubby died almost 10 years ago from cancer. I miss him everyday. For me, the best way to honor the dead, is by living a rich, beautiful life filled with love and laughter. Being happy doing the things you love and having compassion for all living beings. I'd love it if talking about death was more normalized. I'm so glad you shared today. It was beautiful. You are brave. Sending love and light.🕯️🕯️🕯️
Thank you for letting us see your heart. Bearing your soul. That takes great strength.