Fentanyl Addict interview-Tony

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  • Опубліковано 9 лют 2022
  • Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Tony, a fentanyl addict in Los Angeles.
    Here's a link to a GoFundMe campaign to help some of the people seen in SWU interviews: gofund.me/b68ef60f
    For ad-free, uncensored videos and plenty of exclusive content please subscribe to the Soft White Underbelly subscription channel. It's $10 a month and watchable on Apple and Android mobile apps, Roku TV, Apple TV and Amazon Fire. Try a one week free trial at: www.softwhiteunderbelly.com
    Here’s a link to audio only versions of SWU videos: asmrdb.fanlink.to/softwhiteun...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 491

  • @sezons8444
    @sezons8444 2 роки тому +241

    I’ve known Tony for years - after 1 year of sobriety, he was a stud! A lot of people looked up to Tony in the program - I remember his wedding; his parents, siblings were so happy for him - It’s chilling to hear the pain and discomfort in your voice. We love you Tony, everyone from the SBRM is rooting for your success - when you’re ready, I hope you’re able to find a long term program.

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому +6

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

    • @malamutextv
      @malamutextv 2 роки тому +14

      @@TheTabooRoomWithAaron off brand SWU

    • @Themidnightegardener
      @Themidnightegardener 2 роки тому +5

      meetings, sponsorship, steps, and don't use no matter what. pretty simple. he can get back into recovery, all he has to do is make that decision.

    • @trollatlarge
      @trollatlarge 2 роки тому +24

      @@TheTabooRoomWithAaron let your show grow organically and humbled. It doesn't authentic when you go to a comment section and just blatantly talk about your self while the original post was something totally different. It's actually rude and un called for. I called you an idiot earlier on another post. Just stop it already and focus on your own materials in your own space

    • @BellyUpFish
      @BellyUpFish 2 роки тому +13

      @@TheTabooRoomWithAaron This spamming all the comments thing isn't a good look......

  • @jayywatchesjapan3612
    @jayywatchesjapan3612 2 роки тому +61

    Been Sober for 5 years my birthday is coming up this weekend I canceled my order to pick up. Thank You. I needed this one Mark Thx Tony.

    • @chadmcclain3462
      @chadmcclain3462 2 роки тому +11

      Hallelujah 🙏🏽

    • @katiexcakes
      @katiexcakes 2 роки тому +8

      💚💚💚💚 stay strong!

    • @emilyward4388
      @emilyward4388 2 роки тому +7

      So strong of you to back out!!! Keep that same attitude, stay strong and have a relaxing birthday weekend..use the money you would’ve used on the drugs to take yourself out to eat or go buy you something new💕

    • @hwoods-kg1jf
      @hwoods-kg1jf 2 роки тому +6

      I'm proud of you! That "one time" could be your last because it could kill you and if that one didn't, the one that would eventually would come! It isn't any better out there now man! If anything, it's WORSE! Good on you for deciding against relapsing! You made it 5 years! Don't throw that all away and risk your life!

    • @a.marvellehoneyman4560
      @a.marvellehoneyman4560 2 роки тому +4

      One birthday at a time…I get it! Good job, you’re worth it. Happy sober birthday! ❤️

  • @johnsilvey9491
    @johnsilvey9491 2 роки тому +78

    22 days clean from fent I’m 23 who ever is ready to stop just go for it suboxen starts to help a couple days in

    • @5thdimension625
      @5thdimension625 2 роки тому +18

      Congratulations! Don’t look back. Make something of your young life.

    • @softballgirl54
      @softballgirl54 2 роки тому +11

      Congratulations! Please stay on suboxone if you need to and are able to. Hope you find a good support group, recovery program! Sending you my best.

    • @SBpunx-el2bw
      @SBpunx-el2bw 2 роки тому +7

      Good luck john💪stay strong

    • @lsgsrob2102
      @lsgsrob2102 2 роки тому +10

      Subutex saved my life. I know it’s trading one for another but from where I was to where I am now most likely wouldn’t of happened.

    • @frankparoutoflovefci571
      @frankparoutoflovefci571 2 роки тому +4

      Congratulations!!!

  • @alaz255
    @alaz255 2 роки тому +122

    To Tony. Not sure if you'll read this. We do the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time. It is bad luck to find substance to alleviate our pain. No one would choose this life. I see a light in you, and a goodness. Be kind to yourself. Thank you for your honesty.

    • @barbarahren5208
      @barbarahren5208 2 роки тому +4

      Thats very nice written. Im hurt by my best friend bc he wount agree that addiction is illnes. Bc then is a choise and like you said it who on Earth would do this to him or herselfe. If ppl would understand just that, would help with stigma a lot. Abt a friend, he still helps a lot of ppl in trouble bc of his personal expirience with drugs, what I realy admire. There are still good ppl out there. So thank you, your words will touch a lot of those who need them ☀️🍀🧡

    • @ebz-
      @ebz- 2 роки тому

      Lol " you see the light " 🤣 probably the glare from the phone.

    • @barbarahren5208
      @barbarahren5208 2 роки тому

      @@ebz- If you think me.. I turn MY light on... 😉

  • @wyattroberts3559
    @wyattroberts3559 2 роки тому +79

    The hate in these comments are unreal, thinking addicts are somehow not human.... You are all one car accident/ etc away from being just like this man!!! Be humble

    • @LANCEtheBOIL
      @LANCEtheBOIL 2 роки тому +16

      People that haven't had that monkey on their back don't understand how it literally changes your brain and thought process, it really is like being taken over by a different entity.

    • @scienz
      @scienz 2 роки тому +3

      the irony is that addiction makes you lose your humanity

    • @wyattroberts3559
      @wyattroberts3559 2 роки тому +4

      @@scienz everyone is addicted to something, be it sex, drugs, food, talking shit on the internet, etc EVERYONE

    • @scienz
      @scienz 2 роки тому +5

      @@wyattroberts3559 nope. That's a cop out for people that never really experienced addiction. People that suffer from the disease known as addiction forgo their values and dignity, they lose themselves, lose the ability to say no to that addiction. He doesn't wanna steal or boost. He has no choice cuz the addiction is pulling the strings. His brain has been rewired.

    • @wyattroberts3559
      @wyattroberts3559 2 роки тому

      Like I said everyone is addicted to something! I've been on fentanyl 3 years, other opiates 15 years.....I still go to work every fucking day and pay my bills on time.. moderation is key!!

  • @Boomer-dt3nk
    @Boomer-dt3nk 2 роки тому +106

    I had the same experience as this guy with fentanyl, I would only use 1 large amount every other day and not get sick. But because of that I was not able to use subtext or suboxone. That made it very hard to get away away from the opioids. I am very grateful to say that I am in complete Obioid remission and consider myself to be an ex-addict. My battle lasted 17 years with 2 ex-wifes many dead friends and a family that was emotionally damaged. Recovery is possible, this dude is telling my story, he's even the same age. I have so much empathy for him and I swear I would give him half my time if I could.

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому +3

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

    • @chacchel6845
      @chacchel6845 2 роки тому +5

      Thank you for sharing your story.. makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone in this. Love and respect.

    • @ebz-
      @ebz- 2 роки тому +3

      If u could... like u don't know where to find OTHER USERS ... Go to AA n give that time.

    • @Mark-gn5rw
      @Mark-gn5rw 2 роки тому +1

      Yup agreed. Stay on good Path thnx for share

    • @fullthrottlemetric
      @fullthrottlemetric 2 роки тому

      Boomer. Would like to hear your story of recovery. Any way to reach you ?

  • @Aloha_Kay
    @Aloha_Kay 2 роки тому +102

    I really liked his interview. Very honest about what his addiction has done to him, that takes a lot of self-reflection. His dad really did a number on him, and that’s just heartbreaking. You can tell he just wants to be loved. I hope he overcomes his addiction, he deserves a good life.

    • @e.priest8937
      @e.priest8937 2 роки тому +4

      My dad never liked me either. He was much loved as a community leader in our small community. Couldn't stand me. I ended up feeling alienated from whole community. Addict for decades. 30 or 40 years of binge drinking and or heroin. 52 now. On my last cycle of suboxone. One mg a day. Have a son of my own. I hope I am doing better as a dad.

    • @TrillMurray
      @TrillMurray 2 роки тому +3

      With fentanyl, the physical withdrawal is often the biggest hurdle. There are tons of people out there that want out desperately but don't know how. Things can truly feel hopeless when you're trapped on that level.

    • @misselle9018
      @misselle9018 2 роки тому +1

      Agree 💯

    • @js3617
      @js3617 2 роки тому

      @@TrillMurray absolutely, but that's why we have great medications like suboxone and methadone to help and they have excellent success rates. Ppl like to talk a lot but the facts are if you use these medications properly as prescribed and do the actual true work of recovery like therapy, developing new healthy coping skills, changing people places and things ppl will have just as a successful true recovery as being in recovery opiate free.
      Addicts are afraid of recovery because it's a lot of changes and a lot of work, they'll convince themselves of excuses and reasons to avoid the work of recovery. The addict brain LOVES playing up fear to the max. But if more addicts were taught properly and didn't have shame about medication assisted treatment, it solves the fear of withdrawal problem instantly. Theres nothing to fear cuz it wont happen! Especially with methadone cuz u dont have to worry about having to wait at all to start it. They truly save so many lives.

    • @TrillMurray
      @TrillMurray 2 роки тому +1

      @@js3617 unless you have been through fentanyl dopesickness yourself, you can not understand how terrifying it can be. I have PTSD flashbacks occasionally from it. Suboxone can only be administered after you've been through days of the worst of it and can be even harder to quit. I get that it works for some, but I wouldn't touch it

  • @bockskarr6626
    @bockskarr6626 2 роки тому +80

    This was a great share!! Thanks to homeboy for sharing!! As a recovering addict with over 5yrs in these types of vids always keeps it green for me . . . If and when i need to hear it hasn't gotten any better out there. . . That's all I need to hear is someone's story.

    • @pambeforethestorm9784
      @pambeforethestorm9784 2 роки тому +10

      And that's a beautiful thing, I'm so happy for you...it also helps me to listen as well, these videos are one of the best AA/NA meetings you can attend! Stay strong out there, and know that you have support right here in the comment threads rooting you on! 💯💙💎🔥

    • @rondaduse-anthony6755
      @rondaduse-anthony6755 2 роки тому +8

      I love to hear you're staying sober. It's a tough gig, but worth the hard work. Much love!

    • @DetroitFettyghost
      @DetroitFettyghost 2 роки тому +7

      Dude lemme tell u it ain't got better. It's so much worse than u can even imagine. Proud of u. Keep on keeping on.

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому +1

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

  • @LoloO42
    @LoloO42 2 роки тому +25

    "Back in the 80s when they thought being gay was a disease, and that it could be prayed away". Just like we've been treating addicts for the last century. If your rehab / treatment is following a 12 step model (which the vast majority of them are), it's the exact same thing.

    • @katiexcakes
      @katiexcakes 2 роки тому +1

      👏🏻👏🏻 YES SAY IT LOUDER PLEASE. "Its not about God. Just putting your faith in a higher power" w

    • @LoloO42
      @LoloO42 2 роки тому +4

      @@katiexcakes Remind me. How many of those steps mention GOD?

  • @rhondathomas8236
    @rhondathomas8236 2 роки тому +16

    He is so gentle he deserves so much more, everybody does.

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

  • @monicamontez7433
    @monicamontez7433 2 роки тому +19

    You can absolutely see the hurt in his eyes and you can hear it in his voice. So sad. I feel for him.

  • @raven4231
    @raven4231 2 роки тому +28

    "I'll show her" I wonder how many people relapse as revenge... but plot twist it only hurts them in the end

    • @hwoods-kg1jf
      @hwoods-kg1jf 2 роки тому +4

      I've done it before and it truly does hurt us in the end. It hurts EVERYBODY in your life, including yourself. What hurt me more when I was in active addiction/alcoholism was hurting my family with my addiction/alcoholism.

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому +1

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

  • @lilman0820
    @lilman0820 2 роки тому +30

    Wow this man has been thru so much. My heart hurts for the pain i hear in his voice. Seems like such a nice man .I hope he gets the help he needs and stay with a program so he can truly enjoy life

  • @jadedmonk7001
    @jadedmonk7001 2 роки тому +101

    Tony's dad really did a number on him. It seems as if things were set in motion by his father's inability to connect with him. He just wanted to be loved and accepted by his father.

    • @gst9325
      @gst9325 2 роки тому +4

      his siblings didn't end up like him and they had the same father. it's all his choices that led him to this point, not his father choices... only thing responsible for his situation he got from his father are the genes leading to this behaviour. but his father inherited them too. so ... stop pointing fingers

    • @hnybee113
      @hnybee113 2 роки тому +4

      Hearing the hurt in his voice is so heart breaking.

    • @gordon3186
      @gordon3186 2 роки тому +6

      @@gst9325--- The greatest advantage you'll ever get in life is being born to stable, loving parents who raise you to adulthood. So show compassion to those who weren't. Because it wasn't a result of your foresight or their lack of it.

    • @gst9325
      @gst9325 2 роки тому +2

      @@gordon3186 I agree, and yet, there is millions of cases like this coming from loving stable families. again, it all goes down to your personal choices.

    • @gordon3186
      @gordon3186 2 роки тому +5

      @@gst9325 --- *People get caught up in addiction and soon find they've crossed the line only AFTER they find themselves on the other side of it. Some never find their way back.*
      *Do alcoholics make a "personal choice" to become an alcoholic after drinking their first beer? Their 10th? Their 100th? No one EVER chooses to be an addict.*
      *On the flip side, that people occasionally defy the odds doesn't mean those odds don't exist. Being born drug addicted, to a drug addicted prostitute, who carried her pregnancy to term because she had no access to a safe and legal abortion, stacks the odds against you so greatly that you're certainly doomed to failure. Maybe not in this particular instance but in many others.*

  • @msjudyb123
    @msjudyb123 2 роки тому +22

    What a well-spoken person. Take care of yourself.

  • @lisad9376
    @lisad9376 2 роки тому +10

    I hope Tony can find his way to recovery. He deserves so much more in life.

  • @joedanker3267
    @joedanker3267 2 роки тому +67

    This man can get clean for good. He reminds me of so many of my former 'friends'. He mostly means well and knows the good life is good and sobriety is good, you can hear it in his voice. But they can't control their urges, emotions, and let the wind take them through life, to their detriment.

    • @1Elicitg
      @1Elicitg 2 роки тому +5

      Demons

    • @jesusthugmusic
      @jesusthugmusic 2 роки тому +2

      Former "friends?" If you left them to wallow in their addiction you were the bad friend there.

    • @jesusthugmusic
      @jesusthugmusic 2 роки тому +3

      @@1Elicitg demons? I hope you dont mean that literally. If so please run away from whatever cult youre in right now!!!!

    • @joedanker3267
      @joedanker3267 2 роки тому +11

      @@jesusthugmusic don't pretend to tell me a single thing about my choices of who I associate with you moron. 'Friends' in apostrophes is meant to denote they weren't friends at all you complete idiot.

    • @joedanker3267
      @joedanker3267 2 роки тому +4

      @@jesusthugmusic go away

  • @heyyou228
    @heyyou228 2 роки тому +33

    This man is gonna make it, mark my word!

    • @deuspax
      @deuspax 2 роки тому +1

      no, he's not

    • @Poopymattyt
      @Poopymattyt 2 роки тому

      ya=eah dont wanna be negative but i dont think hes gonna make it

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

    • @missionave558
      @missionave558 Рік тому

      Was yo ig

    • @joshvanauker8038
      @joshvanauker8038 Рік тому +1

      I'll tell him you said that and it will absolutely bring some light to his day.

  • @jessiemcintosh2887
    @jessiemcintosh2887 2 роки тому +42

    Good luck man, I am personally fighting sickness everyday with what I am willing to give up. I wish there was a cure all for this problem.

    • @terrylucas630
      @terrylucas630 2 роки тому +9

      Sending great vibes & love to you Jessie. I hope this reaches you and those you love in great health and happiness❤️🙏😎

    • @EllEss331
      @EllEss331 2 роки тому +4

      Stay strong, Jessie! You got this.
      Protect your sobriety like you would a newborn baby! It's that precious!
      Much love to you & yours!

    • @myeyeswentdeaf6213
      @myeyeswentdeaf6213 2 роки тому +1

      Try to get ur hands on Ibogane. Its illegal in the US. It gets u through withdrawals n kills cravings after a 8 hour trip. (Look it up)

    • @joannaazar7396
      @joannaazar7396 2 роки тому +1

      🙏🙏🙏🙏. Hope u get peace soon ✌️

    • @jessicajustice5564
      @jessicajustice5564 2 роки тому +1

      Me too jessie! It's awful but we can both make it! Don't give up before your miracle happens!

  • @jessicalt4121
    @jessicalt4121 2 роки тому +71

    I wish people wouldn’t have children if they don’t want to be parents. Get fixed or use birth control. My heart breaks for this man and so many others who felt unloved and unwanted. The downward spiral. Some make good choices and others don’t but the damage to the psyches. I hope he will beat his demons and makes better choices. Selling drugs ruins lives, communities….let’s fortify our borders and implement other steps, so the flow of drugs is lessened.

    • @skater10057
      @skater10057 2 роки тому +2

      Fortifying borders is not a solution to the opioid epidemic.

    • @toxicavenger7073
      @toxicavenger7073 2 роки тому +2

      Drugs will get into any place there is demand just like alcohol literally anywhere a human being is that has money and wants drugs there will ALWAYS be a dealer selling it to them

    • @toxicavenger7073
      @toxicavenger7073 2 роки тому

      If they legalized abortions across America then we wouldn't have so many kids without parents! Wow how crazy of an idea!!!

    • @brianlauren5618
      @brianlauren5618 2 роки тому +2

      @@toxicavenger7073
      If people were responsible there wouldn't be any sizable need for abortion.. it absurdly reckless and careless to be so much of a degenerate that you resort to abortion. Obviously pregnancy resulting from abuse is rare and likewise the occurrence of birth control failing is considerably low.. the mass majority of abortions result from low quality people choosing to make atrociously poor decisions

    • @jessicalt4121
      @jessicalt4121 2 роки тому +1

      @@toxicavenger7073 free birth control

  • @AJ-qi4yn
    @AJ-qi4yn 2 роки тому +7

    One of the worst thing about opiates is that you will reach a point where u want to get sober and not use but the withdrawal keeps u using, it's so painful most can't face it so they stay using, they end up stuck.

  • @jasonnixon1714
    @jasonnixon1714 2 роки тому +11

    "That weekend has lasted for 6 years, now." Damn.

  • @randalljaeger
    @randalljaeger 2 роки тому +11

    Best of luck dude. Next time your going through rehab, and after you get out stay single. Focus on your sobriety and no dating, its one of the main things that will make you relapse. Stay strong your whole life is ahead of you. Did deep!

  • @pambeforethestorm9784
    @pambeforethestorm9784 2 роки тому +19

    Tony, I feel like with the right resources and support, you can succeed at sobriety....please don't give up, keep fighting for it....because on the other side of it, you Will find a different kind of peace and happiness 😊 that you're searching for now., esp with the pain of losing your wife.....you can do this, and do it well!! Rooting for you, beautiful soul ❤

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

  • @ashby4211
    @ashby4211 2 роки тому +10

    Honest and interesting interview with Tony. He doesn't glorify any part of his life. This should be shown to kids who are looking for an escape from what they see as boring dead end lives.

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

  • @gabireinoehl
    @gabireinoehl 2 роки тому +5

    Tony, best of luck to you my friend. You’re light has not diminished and I see hope and recovery in you. You can do this. Can only imagine how extremely difficult it is feeling sick while getting sober and I’m so sorry you almost lost your friend and you had to experience that traumatic event. Love to you, you can do this. xx

  • @goffredoify
    @goffredoify 2 роки тому +7

    Damn.. these drugs. I haven't tried fentanyl but I had been in love with heroin for 35 yrs. I went thru fases. Times when I didn't want to quit, and times when I wanted to quit but couldn't. You try rehabs but nothing seemed to work. I was disciplined enough to always maintain long term jobs. But to the people who say ohh it's a choice I'd say:do you really think that a person as soon as he gets up wants to stick a needle in his arm and continue it every 8 hrs for fun? Having to struggle to come up with the money multiple times a day, not been able to do nor go anywhere knowing in the back of your mind the countdown has started until you'll get extremely sick? No birthdays, no funerals, no holidays, no weddings, no days out, no cinema, no concert, no nothing unless you'll get well first? Do this people really believe that's a choice?...

  • @jessicalt4121
    @jessicalt4121 2 роки тому +12

    I hope you beat it all and learn to be by yourself, get clean and find peace.

  • @prateeka5955
    @prateeka5955 2 роки тому +14

    I think i should be interviewed for getting addicted to mark's videos 🙃

  • @harlowblackadder356
    @harlowblackadder356 2 роки тому +7

    I grew up with a lot of messed up kids whose parents (one or both) were psychologists. They came out mentally worse than us with "regular" parents. I have heard that psychologists unknowingly pursue their craft primarily to fix themselves...and ultimately fail.

  • @jodim9036
    @jodim9036 2 роки тому +6

    He needs a big hug and somones shoulder!!! what a shame i hope he finds a better path before its too late. drugs are evil and make people do horrible unforgivable things but there is still a heart and a decent human crying out on the inside.

  • @cynthiaconnors183
    @cynthiaconnors183 2 роки тому +7

    This guy strikes me. I had worked in addiction for numerous years. I noticed that if the offending caregiver/parent/offender, admits fully that they hurt the addicted person, and are willing to work in the recovery in an open and honest way, it can help so much in recovery. Also, do not have a partner, relationship, marriage until you are recovered. Many believe that a relationship will get them through, but usually it makes everything much worse.

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

  • @MsChloe01
    @MsChloe01 2 роки тому +8

    Mark! Please come to Maryland and interview in DC or Baltimore. There are plenty of stories and personalities out here that deserve to be heard!

    • @independentfilmfestival
      @independentfilmfestival 2 роки тому

      I have female who has stalked me for 20 years that lives in Chico, CA and is from Baltimore. Meth and booze bad. She is delusional from my family lineage. She is typical and not fitting for Cali. It is back east drug use and way more violent.

    • @brittaniereed5031
      @brittaniereed5031 2 роки тому

      Agreeddddd

  • @justinwilson7129
    @justinwilson7129 2 роки тому +6

    Great interview. Thank you for sharing your story Tony. Recovery does happen when you're ready.

  • @babyloco8199
    @babyloco8199 2 роки тому +19

    I snorted Fent powder on a couple different occasions years ago. That shit burned my nose and made me feel really good and next thing I know my ass is waking up in the middle of the night because I done passed out and didn’t even know it. I use to do stupid shit but I havnt had any opiates whatsoever in years and don’t want any either.

  • @jamesdennis8186
    @jamesdennis8186 2 роки тому +5

    Suboxone will work for Fentanyl but you have to wait 2 to 3 days after your last dose of fentanyl otherwise you will have precipitated withdrawal. I was addicted to fentanyl for 10 years...way before it was mainstream.

  • @bloodsoakedwhiskers
    @bloodsoakedwhiskers 2 роки тому +4

    I have not done opiates in 8 years and to this day i still have post opiate depression. i get random sudden flash backs that are almost unbearable...

  • @quartz14girl
    @quartz14girl 6 місяців тому +1

    "Peace feels like boredom to those raised in chaos."
    Took me a long damn time to figure that out. May you find your peace Sir.

  • @etherealone143
    @etherealone143 2 роки тому +15

    5 months clean off 10 plus years of opiate addiction. suboxone helped me immensely.

    • @Big1nz
      @Big1nz 2 роки тому +2

      Is it true that it's works better than methadone and leaves less cravings?

    • @brandnewsam94
      @brandnewsam94 2 роки тому +2

      @@Big1nz yea thats all pretty accurate, however it will be very difficult and painful to ween/detox off eventually as well. Its a much lesser evil, but when the withdrawals set in you get back that crazy panicked dopesickness just the same as any junkie.
      Edit: ive been on subs for two years and weened down but am having a very hard time kicking it altogether.

    • @noawqqw
      @noawqqw 2 роки тому +1

      @@brandnewsam94 I wish the withdrawal expect of addiction was more widely known. I learned about it all through these videos and a little additional research. It made me so much more sympathetic to recovering addicts

    • @joannekalson1015
      @joannekalson1015 2 роки тому +1

      @@Big1nz ... YES !! I'm so happy to see suboxone as an option but he just said it doesn't help fentanyl ... I can truly attest to it helping my 30+ yr hydro habit

    • @cecilewhite1897
      @cecilewhite1897 2 роки тому +1

      Congrats! Well done👍👏👍

  • @msjsq1966
    @msjsq1966 2 роки тому +5

    Man, this one hit so hard. Thank you, Tony. I hope you get well. Thank you Mark.

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

  • @keirasmith5706
    @keirasmith5706 2 роки тому +10

    Wow this guy has gone through so much. I wish him peace and love. I hope he gets better. He seems like a honest decent person. Addiction is a b- itc- h.

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

  • @4eyes2sea
    @4eyes2sea 2 роки тому +37

    "Am I waiting for the next bag that's gonna kill me?" It breaks my heart.. I've been there. It was years ago... and you're right, Tony, it's better to be clean. Might be boring, tho honestly.. boring is more fun than the lonlies of addiction. Just sayin'. *hugs*

    • @wesleyalan9179
      @wesleyalan9179 2 роки тому +8

      "Boring is more fun than the lonlies of addition"
      Absolutely 💯

    • @katiexcakes
      @katiexcakes 2 роки тому +12

      Very true, sometimes the boredom can fuel that itch to get high. I always just sit in the house and sometimes I'm like, "wow this is lame as hell, i need some excitement" but in reality this IS truly pure excitement. A warm bed, cozy blanket, fridge full of food and my family next to me on the couch is like heaven compared to any of those "best" days in the streets.

    • @4eyes2sea
      @4eyes2sea 2 роки тому +1

      @@themodstrobator5676 i recycle the living water to cure turminal illness. I am *NOT* the golden shower anything.

    • @wesleyalan9179
      @wesleyalan9179 2 роки тому +3

      @@4eyes2sea
      Hey,don't listen to these morons...they don't know you. You do you, and don't worry yourself with these assholes😁

    • @4eyes2sea
      @4eyes2sea 2 роки тому +1

      @@wesleyalan9179 lol. I know.. I'm not that sensitive. I get tired of defending when people don't have a clue what they're saying. Thx for your comment. 🤩

  • @joannaazar7396
    @joannaazar7396 2 роки тому +6

    I hope this guy gets peace ✌️

  • @dp6970
    @dp6970 2 роки тому +11

    Stop getting into relationships when you’re TRYING to get sober! 🤦🏻‍♀️ That’s one of THE MOST important rules of sobriety.

    • @LoloO42
      @LoloO42 2 роки тому +1

      I thought there weren't rules. Only "suggestions".

    • @JamesDel
      @JamesDel 2 роки тому +2

      Easier said than done when your head is not mush and you're not emotionally stunted. Also telling people what to do is 100% not the way.

    • @dp6970
      @dp6970 2 роки тому +1

      @@LoloO42 “Suggestions” are only for those who aren’t serious about sobriety.👍🏽 When you’re SERIOUS about it, you allow yourself to give up control to something bigger than oneself.

    • @dp6970
      @dp6970 2 роки тому

      @@JamesDel Ask anyone in long term sobriety….not wanting to be told what to do is pure EGO. Long term sobriety requires a person to relinquish egotistical-stubborn power or control. To “get over” oneself is paramount. Being humble (humility) and saying “hey, maybe I DON’T know everything, I might as well try listening to someone who’s made it” takes a LOT of courage and strength.

  • @gepffmains9333
    @gepffmains9333 2 роки тому

    Good luck bro.... truly hope you get clean. Such an articulate and intelligent dude, proves this can truly happen to any unfortunate soul...

  • @dondada1020
    @dondada1020 2 роки тому +1

    These stories help me out in more ways then one, I see that overcoming the struggle is a part of millions of people lives I’m not the only one fighting a battle! Stay strong and believe have faith that you can and will beat any battle made to destroy you

  • @PinupPossum
    @PinupPossum 2 роки тому +6

    Very touching, so sad about his father. Generational trauma is real.

  • @claudiapgomez718
    @claudiapgomez718 2 роки тому +3

    This is so sad. He seems like such a nice guy. I hope he remembers what his life was like sober, and decides to get sober.

  • @Snoopyloopss
    @Snoopyloopss Рік тому +2

    “That weekend has lasted for 6 years now” is some pretty haunting words

  • @carolynrupard2699
    @carolynrupard2699 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @tristanfinch6032
    @tristanfinch6032 2 роки тому +5

    Sad times, I lost 2 friends, many more that just aren't the same anymore, I was introduced to heroine before the fentanyl came into the picture I was just 16 when I smoked an oxy for the first time and then found that heroine was cheaper. Drugs were a part of my life from a very young age because it's all I seen around me. It was super hard to get away and I still have issues. But I have 3 kids and a wonderful wife and things get easier everyday. I hope to get into a job field where I can use my experience to help troubled youth to show people do change and recovery is possible. Keep your heads up people. Mad love my brothers and sisters!

    • @TheTabooRoomWithAaron
      @TheTabooRoomWithAaron 2 роки тому

      Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!

  • @joeylyons4549
    @joeylyons4549 2 роки тому +2

    He said something very true Most people have a lot of acquaintances but very few friends My dad told me that as a child The older I get the more I see his wisdom

  • @iriskit710m8
    @iriskit710m8 2 роки тому +18

    He has an interesting sound to his voice, almost sounds like it’s kinda of shaking but I would be too tbh

    • @thestraydog
      @thestraydog 2 роки тому +10

      Unfortunately that's the kind of tone you get with a long term use of opiates... That and a distinct vocal fry that some addicts keep for years after getting clean, it's actually really sad when you finally get clean but every time you talk you're reminded of your past

    • @bockskarr6626
      @bockskarr6626 2 роки тому +5

      @@thestraydog oh really? Hmmm after a lifetime of drugs and knowing people far worse than myself I've never encountered this. I'd have to say he got high before the interview. Maybe a little ice because he looked tweeked out and had the nervous rasp along with lots and lots of talking . . . Hell Mark didn't even have to ask many questions. So I'll disagree with your answer to the question

    • @nickbrennan3389
      @nickbrennan3389 2 роки тому +2

      @@thestraydog yes...nearly all the addicts in Dublin ( Ireland) have a similar drawl, speech...kinda nasal voice.

    • @ryanjavierortega8513
      @ryanjavierortega8513 2 роки тому +1

      Like Bob Dylan, Simon Joyner, Leonard Cohen, Lou reed, and Conor oberst

    • @ObiAmajoyiSrMD
      @ObiAmajoyiSrMD 2 роки тому +1

      I think that is the resonating voice of an anxious, nervous individual being interviewed about sensitive topics from his childhood until now. All the while, in the back of his mind, he is subconsciously aware that this will be put on the internet for millions to view if they want.
      Far more likely than his voice being slightly altered secondary to drug use. But hey, only he knows.

  • @danhamilton6881
    @danhamilton6881 2 роки тому +2

    Bright soul in there, Tony - god bless those 3.5 years of sobriety, some version of that will find you again soon. Find your light and stick with it. You are loved.

  • @rubymoralesgoff1221
    @rubymoralesgoff1221 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you for sharing Mark. Love Ruby

  • @ivan4ivy
    @ivan4ivy 2 роки тому +3

    My best friend who is a recovering heroin addict used dabs when he was dope sick . He said it was a game changer for him.

  • @Melissa-yp2wr
    @Melissa-yp2wr 2 роки тому +2

    Very good interview. Thank you mark.

  • @Popcorncedar
    @Popcorncedar 2 роки тому +7

    Interesting question about having dreams as a kid. I’ve never thought about that as a way to stay on the path.

  • @shadow.banned
    @shadow.banned 2 роки тому +5

    I'm surprised he's saying heroin is a shorter half-life than fentanyl. Cause for many people, it's the exact opposite. I guess it just depends on what's in the fentanyl mix.

  • @shanyialanae7115
    @shanyialanae7115 2 роки тому +8

    These post are so consistent with my sleep schedule it’s crazy

    • @wyattroberts3559
      @wyattroberts3559 2 роки тому

      Right, it's always just been uploaded when I wake up

    • @Day-ZDuke
      @Day-ZDuke 2 роки тому +3

      Mark has been posting videos at 6am EST every single day for almost 2 years now probably. His work ethic and consistency is impressive

  • @smilee9975
    @smilee9975 2 роки тому +14

    Thank you Mark! Please take care of yourself

  • @D-mz5v
    @D-mz5v 2 роки тому +10

    Some men need guidance, sad to say he is one of them, his wife was clearly not supporting him the way she should have for someone in recovery, I think if he would find the right person he would be able to get clean, he seems like he needs someone to be there for him

    • @katiexcakes
      @katiexcakes 2 роки тому +9

      Another person can't keep an addict sober. You cant rely on someone else to do the hard work for your addiction. It's on him for sure, and has nothing to do with the amount of support of his wife. Its not her responsibility to babysit a grown man.

    • @ryanjavierortega8513
      @ryanjavierortega8513 2 роки тому

      She lost a good man

  • @Rockyscott9461
    @Rockyscott9461 2 роки тому +1

    This interview is so sad. Breaks my heart to see him thinking at any time he may be taking the last " dose". Wish he could see how much potential he actually has and how wonderful of a person he is in his heart. He would make a great peer support counselor and even if you have gout you can still do hair. Get a high stool sit on it while you do fades. You can do this Tony!!

  • @rasmus9442
    @rasmus9442 2 роки тому +2

    ”Wheredya from, originally?” is getting so iconic at this point

  • @joelyons8238
    @joelyons8238 11 місяців тому

    I Pray Tony is doing better. Seems like a guy just down on his luck. But seems to want to get better & wants to overcome his addiction. Im truly praying for you Tony.
    Hopefully we can get an update on you one day. God bless you.

  • @makeupbysarah900
    @makeupbysarah900 2 роки тому +6

    Wow. He’s so intelligent and extremely self-reflective. I wish the best for you Tony 💗

  • @MJW66
    @MJW66 2 роки тому +6

    Anyone home invades in my house they'll be un-lived. It's a roll of the dice on the consequences of that decision. He's lucky to be alive.

  • @ericawalker1275
    @ericawalker1275 2 роки тому +2

    Tony you born to be great u will beat this 🏆 im rooting for you. Good bless u

  • @wellahartig6382
    @wellahartig6382 2 роки тому +3

    Wish you the very best!

  • @annaxefta2421
    @annaxefta2421 2 роки тому +1

    I like to take the time with commercials and just tell mark how amazing of a person u are and that u deserve all the riches la has to offer!!! Lol. U deserve it more than anyone

  • @andrewptob
    @andrewptob 2 роки тому +9

    A lost soul. Many here can relate, I’m sure.

  • @tylishahogan2433
    @tylishahogan2433 2 роки тому +5

    Lost my only brother this morning to this use 💔

  • @leconyarhym5412
    @leconyarhym5412 2 роки тому +4

    My heart ❤️ goes out to him, Prayers for his healing from childhood trauma with Dad and recovery from fentanyl. Tony you can make it, you did it before, you can do it again.

  • @butterflyangel3768
    @butterflyangel3768 2 роки тому +6

    Dark Cherry concentrate in 6ozs of water is great for gout

  • @jay252589
    @jay252589 2 роки тому +1

    I bet his dad's story would be deep too. Conversion therapy is unimaginably damaging, on a multi-generational level in Tony's case, it's incredibly sad, I hope he can come to terms with it and get clean again permanently.

  • @marisagoodman5817
    @marisagoodman5817 Рік тому

    Ohhhh my god my heart goes out to him .
    I hope he finds his way back ❤

  • @a.w2776
    @a.w2776 2 роки тому +6

    Notice how he cant make any eye contact. But wow he likes telling a story. Interesting

  • @blakeog2034
    @blakeog2034 2 роки тому +2

    When he said he’d been clean for 3 and a half years…. As an addict it scares the shit out of me…

    • @blakeog2034
      @blakeog2034 2 роки тому

      And I’m 30 and have the same feeling as thank god I didn’t have kids rn

    • @hollyleehenry2766
      @hollyleehenry2766 2 роки тому

      Stay humble. It can come back when you least expect it. Everyone and everything is susceptible to this awful way of thought.

  • @thornmatthew8395
    @thornmatthew8395 2 роки тому +1

    I grew up in that area too. Wallingford. Hope you find your way. I wonder if you remember the club in Hartford Velvet. Used to go there and roll a lot lol…

  • @bubblesmckenzie4125
    @bubblesmckenzie4125 2 роки тому

    Great video, Genuine person. 👀❤️

  • @gordon3186
    @gordon3186 2 роки тому +4

    *How much pain could be avoided for women and children if our culture didn't stigmatize same-sex affectional preference?*

  • @justbarry587
    @justbarry587 2 роки тому

    What a journey💜 I wish him well

  • @shelleyellis14
    @shelleyellis14 2 роки тому +2

    Great interview 🇬🇧🇬🇧

  • @michealsmith28
    @michealsmith28 Рік тому +1

    This is the time that gets me that I don't know why because seeing their demons are just terrifying and they're always grinning it's terrifying I didn't have my grandmother I would be insane.

  • @katie_otoole
    @katie_otoole 2 роки тому

    great interview

  • @ryanjavierortega8513
    @ryanjavierortega8513 2 роки тому +4

    We shouldn’t have prisons, think about how many innocent people are incarcerated for just one little slip up, it’s just not fair

  • @pbsandjs8680
    @pbsandjs8680 2 роки тому +1

    I'm rooting for you, Tony. You got this!

  • @lilnitty4366
    @lilnitty4366 2 роки тому

    Tony I hope one day soon that you can get off the crazy train..... you've done it before.....
    It's not easy, but u can do it........ you doing this interview with Mark was a BIG step...
    Peace ☮️,,,,from NH, CT

  • @erikgreeno6136
    @erikgreeno6136 2 роки тому +4

    "1 is too many 1000 is never enough"

  • @Usercantwelve
    @Usercantwelve Рік тому

    💯💯💯 Tony did it once for 3 1/2 yrs.He can do it Again . Sending
    Prayers dude.
    X

  • @aremnant3937
    @aremnant3937 2 роки тому +2

    Tony I can really relate to a lot of what you said. You deserve a much better life than this. I am praying for you and for your recovery. I know that you can do this. God bless you Tony.

  • @laoadvtours3479
    @laoadvtours3479 2 роки тому +3

    Just needs someone to listen... 🙏

  • @lakersin5142
    @lakersin5142 2 роки тому

    I rarely watch full UA-cam videos especially 30+ minutes ones but man, I wish nothing but the best for this guy, all it took was 1 fuck up to ruin those 3 1/2 years he was doing so well in. Hope he can one day find peace.

  • @maisenbrown196
    @maisenbrown196 2 роки тому +1

    My dad too grew up mormen...but he did have guts and was true self me at 13 almost 14.....

  • @OwenGilmoreOG
    @OwenGilmoreOG Рік тому

    I wonder if Tony was learning barbering at the San Francisco barber 💈 college on 6th street? I used to get my hair cut there before it closed down. It’s a rough area in the city. You can do it Tony. God bless you

  • @MrAngstfabrik
    @MrAngstfabrik 4 місяці тому +1

    The best of luck to you, Tony! 🙂

  • @ernestomustillo1733
    @ernestomustillo1733 2 роки тому +1

    Fentanyl aint no joke its my 3rd day off of it its 3:30am on the west coast i been vomiting for bile my muscles hurt i been shaking its hard to sleep. If your on this shit just try to get off of it. Make sure to get suboxone or methedone it will help with the pains.

  • @westcoastmike5937
    @westcoastmike5937 Рік тому

    This is like taking a rollercoaster ride. 🤗

  • @suezannemarie292
    @suezannemarie292 2 роки тому +2

    Oh my heart ❤ 💔 I'm so sorry Tony. Work on your trauma love yourself.

  • @heatherh.197
    @heatherh.197 9 місяців тому

    Dialog: oh man, I'm sick. I think i might have the flu.
    Response is dead air. No response. No one says "your dope sick".
    You go home , get better from the withdrawals thinking its the flu, and no one goes back to the drugs.
    Genius. Thank you Mark❤