NOOO JSCHLATT DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON!
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- Опубліковано 28 жов 2024
- This took a few days to edit, I am not Jschlatt this is just something I do in my free time. I don't expect to get good views from this since it's a gameplay vid rather than a tiktok react. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy and I'll link the full unedited vod so you can watch that in your own time. Thank you for watching and i would appreciate any subscriptions :)
#jschlatt
#Bigguy
#JschlattReact
Credit to :@jschlattLIVE
Edited by:@VanityDet
Full video:
0:47 actually, you can find the love of your life, be together for like 70 years, and get married at 95, thus living another 85 years after that.
That’s relying on the fact that you both would live to 95, I know I ain’t making it that far
@@DavidThomas005 no see, youre guaranteed to be married for 85 years. So age only starts counting once you are married, and you have to get married. So as long as you dont get married yet, youre immortal
So you can just don't get married till you are bored of your life and get effectively immortal, and die at the moment that pleases you. @@thingsthatgobomb
@@theforgottenes2552 You only die 85 years after the moment that pleases you, what if you regret the decision by then?
@@theforgottenes2552holy shit
2:48 if you pressed the marriage at 25 button then the cancer doesn't matter until you are 110
Yes but you could have the pain from cancer for 85 years
@@TheRubiksPilot If u cant fix all the cancers in 85 years thats a skill diff
@@TheRubiksPilot nothing a shit ton of m0rphine couldn't solve
Fr
you´ll spend the rest of your life looking like deadpool tho
Schlablast pressed the button back in '99
“Schlablast” “pressed” the “button” back in ‘99
This comment sucks
@@startingmap2387 erm...
@@TheDisguisedMentor I farted
@@startingmap2387 same
all forms of cancer hell nah im not the fucking chemo avatar
You dont want to cancerbend?😢
@@Allvirthe cancer bends you
Bro these replies
Chemo'tar, the master of the 4 major cancers.
Collecting cancers like infinity stones
This call was STACKED
such a random assortment of creators
stacked with inflation porn I see
1. You go back in time
2. Then join the staff of a German art school.
3. Make sure any Austrian with the name adolf gets in
Fuck that I'm buying bitcoin
until you realise hitler not getting into power wouldn't prevent anything and probably enabled a nazi who doesn't waste a bunch of resources on superweapons to take power
@@Aroma69same
@@Aroma69 in 1920s?
Almost everyone was austrian, the art school is in Vienna
You take the one way time travel at 7:13 because you can just look up like last weeks lottery numbers, travel back a week, and tell your past self, and then secretly hide in the attic or something for a week so you don’t get investigated by the government until your post self travels back in time, and you get a free million dollars or whatever
Or invest in bitcoin
Here's one, you shit gold bars, but it feels like you're shitting a gold bar. I think this one is pretty balanced
This with your pfp is hilarious
I have had bigger things up there so I see this as a easy win.
*A* gold bar? YES. Cause that means the pain is once, but you forever can shit out money.
@@Lolyeet I feel like the more you shat the easier it would get but man that first week wood suck, youd also be alot heavier so that would be hard to have your body get much heavier the more you need to shit
Hey you have me as your pfp how nice of you
2:45 glass canon build
Oh my god man
It's funny to me when the button says "you can..." and not a lot of people press it, like you don't have to use the ability but you will have it, maybe it will be useful someday and will save you
Yea exactly that's what I thought too
Something is better than nothing
"You can only"
6:52. Pressing this is a GREAT idea. It grants you the ability to travel through time to any point. Meaning that you can travel to right before you pressed the button. Essentially giving you a save point which you can access at all times.
Stop Hitler implies you could also stop him from committing sudoku
Good ending
@@unquestionableexistance8704GOOD ENDING?
@@whereismycup no , good ending.
@@whereismycupHope they mean that because they want Hitler to face trial for what he did, and to stop all the conspiracy theories.
Then he'd be a world famous Austrian Artist
pyro in this is like a fever dream
dude like...i was not expecting this combo...yet alone schlatt and pyro-
Schlimpson should have pressed it before he sadly passed away. Fly high.
Fr rest in peace 😭😭😭😭
4:50 "If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman~"
Nope your now homelander on steroids
@@shawnna1398it's a song lyric not a literal question
Kryptonite - 3 doors down Just got done listening to it
Hell yea
Schlatt and the Slopinator in the same video? No way.
We need our slop pyro
The slop thickens
"Time travel, but only once."
Ok, I'll go back 1 week to buy the winning lotto ticket 😂
8:15 Schlatt is on that DIO mindset
If you try to stop Hitler, it's very possible someone else would take his place and things could end up just as bad, if not worse.
I don't think I'd go back and change history PERIOD. I think the variables are too iffy. Not even in my own life.
He was kinda THE man to lead the nazi party, without him there would be much different ideology, and this ideology would have struggled more to get in power. And at this point maybe the Germany wouldn't be that advantageous on a global stage, with growing US and USSR
Though who knows those Germans, they willingly destroyed their own democracy.
Our entire modern world was shaped by WW2. Without the H-man, it could very well be that WW2 would had happened a few decades later but with way more nukes. It's basically "randomize the entire world" -choice.
And many people would end up not existing from people moving away and then starting family’s elsewhere
Yeah, killing baby Hitler wouldn’t stop the systematic reason for why he rose to power in the first place. Not to mention that later into the war Hitler was addicted to cocaine or something similar and made a lot of really bad mistakes.
Another thing I have heard is that something like WW2 was somewhat inevitable, and if it happened later with improved technology the amount of casualties caused during the war could of been much greater.
I love how they just assume that money can cure any illness.
Pyro literally mentioned bill gates
I think they're more assuming money can pay for the treatments necessary to cure illnesses that have existing cures
So many of these buttons you press but just don’t use if you don’t need to. Like the time travel one, you gain the ability but you never have to actually use it.
The time stop one actually has almsot no downsides. Sure you can’t steal anything while time is stopped, keyword WHILE time is stopped. But you could still steal stuff while out of time stop. So you could stop time, sneak into a bank vault, resume time, steal the cash, stop time again and get out of there. It has an easy workaround.
Or... Your clothes, shoes and everything you already have and touched while time stopped also becomes useless
@@andersonzl13 It says anything you Take while in stopped time
I'd assume you can stop time only once and not have pauses in between.
Even then you can work around it tho by simply stealing whatever you want and then after you stole it stopping time to easily get away, can touch the cameras while you're at it to make em disappear.
More importantly, it's an abillity you can, but don't need to use. There is quite literally no downside, you just gain an extra abillity.
9:27 Hitler was a symptom of post-WW1 Germany, he did not single handedly start the Second World War and there were plenty of other discontent and resentful Germans suffering the consequences of The Treaty of Versailles and the egregious war reparations forced upon them by the rest of the participating nations despite the reality that they were equally at fault for all that needless bloodshed of the First World War. And he had even less to do with Japan’s involvement in the war, so his death would likely change very little despite how much we the survivors prefer to lump all the blame onto a dead man just as the Allies once lumped the blame onto Germany after the first war
And even if you get rid of him, most people don’t tend to realize that the USSR still exists, which was led by Stalin. He also had plans to take over Europe to secure Russia’s borders. Also with the delay on the need for nuclear weapons, such a future could allow for tactical nuclear weaponry to exist, anti-semitism to remain standard, and wouldn’t stop WWII or genocides.
@@LordDaret Could lead to nuclear wars, Japan would still be a dictatorship, and we'd have to reroll every major decision we got right since WW2 hoping we dont end up in a world where we got those decisions won't too. For example, we managed to fix the ozone layer swiftly with a global international effort to ban CFCs which were destroying it. I dont want to reroll an event like that and rely on people to get that one right again, and have a SECOND potential massive ecological disaster on our hands, as we're already failing on that front with CO2 emissions. We managed to fix one of them, imagine if we didnt and have to deal with both?
On the nuke thing again as well, one of the MAIN reasons the US was able to develop nukes first is largely due to many German scientist who fled Germany. For example, Einstein was a jew, and he fled Germany. While he didnt have much direct involvement with the development of nuclear weaponry, he did provide some critical input for their success and the physics behind the reaction. Stuff like this wouldnt have happened without WW2, those scientist would likely have stayed in Germany, and who knows how that would have altered history.
There are just too many major things that occurred a a result from WW2, and going back and changing it has tons of potential to make the world MUCH better or MUCH worse. Its just far too risky.
@@LordDaret Eugenics were also popular until the holocaust so that would probably still be around as well
Everybody did war crimes :(
@@shadowmandeathstroke8232 exactly! Every time we simplify history we lose the lessons that that history taught us. Which is probably one of the reasons America is spiraling towards repeating that history right now…
Pyrocynical? Jaiden? tf kinda stream was this, this was peak!
wtf is this vc? meeting of the minds up there
"my max is 3", damn Jaden, I felt that lol.
The stop Hitler one is funny cos it's so vague and doesn't specify for all we know it could be to stop him from killing himself 💀
Fuck he gonna do if he didn't, one man army himself against the soviets?
@@Cell780 I meant more you still didn't prevent the war and holocaust
how funny would it be if i didn't watch the video and just assumed that schlatt's editor just loves hitler
Making unused Jschlatt streams into videos is genius ngl
12:47 You get a parrot to do it for you.
8:19 is technically teleportation tbh. You don’t feel like you teleport but it saves time
for the last one, get a parrot translator 💀💀
THANK YOU! Dude I feel crazy that I don’t wanna eat and wish it wasn’t a bodily function lol it’s so good to hear you all agree
I wouldn't go for the "communicate with animals" one, lmao. We can already communicate with them, they just seldom have anything more meaningful to say than "woof" or "meow."
Pyro? And schlatt? What?
FR
this is not the first time
@@kacperkrulong like this isn’t news
13:00 You gain the ability to communicate with animals which is currently impossible to learn, However you "LOSE THE ABILITY to communicate with humans". This does not imply that you "permanently" lose the ability to communicate and can infact relearn it. Which is highly possible in due time depending on how much you "lose" which is not specified.
In other words, I would press the button.
I keep thinking about that one short I saw of someone came back in time to stop a dictator that killed like 100 Juwels and the power vacuum made hitler even appear who says that the next hitler would be better or worse 😂
People are confused about Pyro, but what is JAIDEN DOING HERR
What you mean? Its weirder that Pyro is there than Jaiden. Schlatt and Jaiden are friends
@@patoman_agree
3:09 I become a trillionaire and become deadpool
If you have all the guns in the world, no-one has any guns to stop you
Bombs
Swords
Tanks
7:00 bro time is already a one way trip, why not just atleast have the ability to travel it lol
7:15 - for this one it doesn’t matter it doesn’t say you are invincible from starving to death it just says when you do because you can’t consume anything you will not feel pain (probably) so I wouldn’t press the button
our little schmorphiogifiration still miss you, fly high 🕊️🕊️🕊️
2:50 you become the first and only trillionaire for about 4 hours
8:24 ok but does that mean if you kidnap your enemy, "taking" your enemy, that makes them worthless and unusable?
Time travel: an obvious yes as you go back 10 years and invest tf out 😂of bitcoin then wait to retake your life the moment you leave.
11:38 the reason why i would press the button is so that no one in the world would have guns, i just keep them locked from the world somehow and have no more gun related accidents or crimes.
The thumbnail + title combo is wild
Yo be a trillionare AND be deadpool? Sickkkk
7:20
Never be hungry. Never have the feeling?
Never eat. Starve to death?
Or
Never be hungry. No need to eat?
Never eat. Never eat?
2:45 "Better to be a king for a night than shmuck for a lifetime"
The Artesian Builds sponsorship is crazy, this video must be ancient
1:33 you see- I have this thing where I can’t help but constantly reference everything in life back to the Simpsons/constantly quote the Simpsons (mainly seasons 1-25) so…this “but” is nothing but reality…and being I would love to be a voice actor- the buttons gonna be pressed no doubts.
4:20 imagine saying get (the topic) online and you say i have collected it all
11:28 id asume with this question no one else has guns anymore cause you own them all so honestly thats sick you could just do whatever you want and no one can stop you, no one is gonna be like "ok but does he have ammo?ima test it" you could litterally become a crime boss and just distribute guns
The Hitler one is not only a morality question but also one of just because you remove one piece of a puzzle doesn't mean it would change the overall outcome.
Very rich and loves ones be sick, thats just a soft generational curse
11:10 people have played command and conquer i see
11:28 thats just 80% of the way to world peace
Jaiden: "How do you get a partner?"
Fundy: "You talk to animals Jaiden!"
🤨
honestly im autistic and have non verbal phases sooo ill press that last button
7:10 Just go back one week and win the lottery. 😂
13:08 I mean humans are technically animals…
Or use sign language
@@johnwatters1496 but you wouldnt be able to communicate with people
alot of cancers tend to attack each other for some reason so having all forms of cancer is probably very close to having no cancer
Like Mr burns, the disease would overcrowd each other
Easy answer, press the button, travel to the time when time machines are a thing for the public, and buy one 6:32
I’d time travel a 1 way trip back to a week ago with the winning mega millions numbers.
11:59 But...humans ARE animals? Thats a dumb button
I swear every 2 minutes I hear a new youtuber in this call that wasnt there before
i would press the button every time
7:12 …just go like REALLY far in the future where time travel is invented and go back whenever
2:16 - skipping 5 years and it feels like 10 minutes was literally just COVID until now T-T
With the animal talk one, just get a parrot translator for you. You can only communicate in animal sounds, so communicate to the parrot to teach it how to speak and let it speak for you
you get bacon. unlimited bacon but no bacon
bacon?
Pizza.
11:30
If you think about it, this is a world peace button. Literally remove all weapons.
Rocket launch silos, to some extent, can also be called guns...
"you will never be hungry and never eat again" cause: death.
"You can travel through time, but it's a one way trip."
Everyone already has this ability. It's called existing within the space-time continuum.
Even if they change it to "You can travel back in time, but it's a one way trip", that just means you're born in the grave and gradually turn young, and then vanish inside your mom.
Sorry, couldn't resist turning it into a your mom joke.
Shlatt talking with Pyro? Noice :3
For that last one hear me out... you gat a parrot... and then you just tell him what to say to the humans you want to comunicate with, ez
Schlavery's editor makes great videos!
The second one sounds like an 85 years edging streak for me
The last one allows you to talk to dolphins and corvids. This way you build an army and small state.
1:33
Voice Actors: *Look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power*
9:18 ONLY 30mins ive had a migraine that was like 2-3 hours long at 1am before bed it was miserable. I was genuinely crying and smaking my head because it was less painful than the migraine.
Become first trillionaire, get all forms of Cancer
Literally the lore for Team Fortress 2
I'd take all the guns for peace because if I have ALL of them, then nobody else has any
Bombs. Flamethrowers. Missiles. Poisons. Spears. Etc.
There is roughly 14.9 DAYS worth of Simpson footage to find some quotes you can use
schlemtanyl i love watching your videos
i like lying to myself that i like every schlatt i meet its a funny little cycle do it while i schlatt asleep if i do schlatt every day and if i do schlatt every week i just might become the better schlatt you wanted out of me i got schlatt wrapped around the lining of my throat 🎉
3:04 nah that’s a perk you collected all of them like the infinity stones
The only treatment for all forms of cancer is walking naked through the elephants foot room in Chernobyl
04:53 eventually insane means not yet which is again being immune
"Glioschlattstoma" should have considered the consequences of his actions.
For 9:40, I like to think that someone already went back in time to stop a smaller genocide and our timeline is the one where something worse happened instead.
That's basically a story of "The night before" by Sergei Lukyanenko. I dunno if there's a translation though
why does he still have artesian builds in his list of orgs on the top right side of the screen
this is a crazy spread of people. the thought of pyro and jaiden in the same call scares me
7:56 Stops time, grabs money, instantly cure inflation 👍👍👍👍
12:30 What if you just made friends with a bird that's able to mimic human speech? Ravens are probably the best option; they're very intelligent, and they tell things to each other. You could have many who can communicate to humans and ravens you don't know for you. You could become a private detective and make a great income. Imagine how much you could deduce with accounts from birds, horses, dogs, cats, bees, etc. as well as with your flock of corvid assistants.
I assume this would be a more logical, less literal application of the button. Seems more fun to go by weighing of consequences in the least reality-distorting scenario than the hyperbolic monkey's paw version. The act of communicating with animals also doesn't endow them with extra abilities or alterations, only you, so you're relying on animals' human cooperativeness and reasoning.
If you must telepathically send highly compressed and translated packets to a beetle, a sponge, a snail, and then psycho-locate their thoughts from how your signal reflects from the walls of their mind, that is how you will communicate. If there are any other means, you can do them as well.
Also, your eyes can glow at will, as fireflies glow to communicate to others even if unaware of them. So, you can always try to attract a female firefly however you want, even if you're in Antarctica!
"you can stop time for 30 seconds but anything you take while time is stopped becomes unusable and worthless"
god damn, who froze time to take all nft's?
for the hitler one, it doesn't say you kill hitler, it says you stop hitler. thus the only true solution is saving archduke franz ferdinand, preventing ww1 and germany's debt(since theres no ww1), thus stopping hitler.
If you did the trillionaire option you could start a brand new pirate area by hiding all the treasure in one place.
zE WaN PEacE iST ReAl!
Im already never hungry lmao