There definitely is a difference in “amounts” or in the “strength” of love. Its not only different kinds of love. Sure u have friendship love and family love and pets love and so on. But even within that there are definitely scales. I love my mom because she is family, i also love my cousins because they are family. I have the same type of love for both, but the “amount” of love i have for my mother is far greater. Humans aren’t perfect, even the kindest purest souls have flaws. And acting as if you love everyone equally or that you don’t subconsciously have a “ranking system” is only lying to yourself
@@mauroguerreiro2234 Not for me. I either love or I don't. It's not a scale. My children, friends, and partner are each a color of a rainbow that I love differently and I would be devastated if anything happened to them. What a horrible idea to force someone to choose based on a metaphorical scale. I can't really imagine lightly loving someone or loving someone 'less'. Are you sure you don't mean just liking some people? Also just because someone is family doesn't mean you love them. Not you specifically because you might be really close to them but in general. Idk. Maybe I'm just odd. If there was a measurement for me it would be love, like, and basic respect.
I lost my mom from Cancer a few years ago. I realized then that I had lost the last person on the planet that truly loved me. Everything else was conditional. If I don’t provide, I’m out. If I don’t treat someone else the way they want me to treat them I’m out. I hate to say it but if I treated my GF the way I treated my moms sometimes as I was growing up my GF would get rid of me.
It is biblically correct for a man and a woman to placr higher value on their covenant with one another than with their relationship with their children. My Dad told me the same thing when I was young and my Mom did too. Knowing that their marital bond was strong and that it could not be broken by any manipulation or intrusion on my part actually made my childhood more stable and more secure and more happy than it would have been had either or both of them prioritized their love for me over their love for each other.
100% agree. Unfortunate circumstances in life deemed necessary that I risk my life. To make safe the life of my wife. All turned out well she is safe. I am also. I always felt that I would die for her. But more importantly that I live for her. I see now that the children grandchildren, even her siblings and parents rate higher than I do. Decades of marriage I am not sure what I should do with this. The saying goes a broken heart can fix a vision problem. I don’t know if I would change anything. if I had it all to do again. Doubtful loyalty is in my nature. just a word of caution to men. Perhaps this is as it should be.
I started loving my husband unconditionally only after I saw he stuck around after I sobered up. I’ve been sober for three years now and I can say I love that man unconditionally.
The hardest thing in life is, by far, marriage. Add raising kids, the second, it’s a real test to see how SELFISH you are. “Soul of a woman was created below.” That’s what it’s looking like.
Women show this on a daily basis and most have no idea how close they are to getting dumped in the street on their ass because of it… Married 30 years and I feel this every single day. She will put everything else above me… dogs, horses, kids/grandkids, friends… the list goes on. I’m about at the end of being a wallet to her.
@@davebenz8271 Did you show her that list? Leave her to chew in it for a week then ask her how YOU should feel about this. She'll only understand feelings, so asking her what your feelings should be if it was her?? Might be an interesting question she's never thought about.
I’ve heard a good analogy, that the wife is like the chandelier in the house. It’s there to stay. The child is like one of the light bulbs on that chandelier. Eventually that light will come off as the child gets married and begins a life of their own.
I disagree my wife and i have always had the understanding that our children are more important than we are would gladly sacrifice ourselves for them. We expect eachother to save the children first
Make no mistake. Once a child is born the woman is consumed with love for the baby. Trust me, men understand and respect that because THAT is how it's meant to be.
Simple to understand this...your mom gave birth to you, the connection is different...when your mother was giving birth if anything went wrong and the father had to choose, guess who he would choose...the mother.
50 yrs this year. I love my wife more than life more than kids. I have known for a long time that my wife loves my kids more than me but about a year ago I realized she loves the dogs more than me. That’s messed up.
I would argue that the love for your children is different than the love for your spouse. They are different kinds of love. However, the protection of your children should always come first. In a healthy relationship, this shouldn't be an issue, but in an unhealthy relationship, this could very well become an issue. How many women (or men) stay with a partner who hurts either them or their children? Too many. They should put the protection of their children first. Most women are biologically inclined to put their children first. They carried their children for nine months, feeling them grow and move inside them, then usually having a painful labour to birth them, then breastfeeding them, and this causes these women to feel a bond with their children. It's still a different kind of love than the love you have for your spouse, though.
If men's love for women is so much more wholesome and unconditional, then why are women more likely to get left while fighting a serious or terminal illness? For those asking, it is a study published in Cancer, an academic journal. My citations keep being removed.
Women leave a man when he’s down all of time. No illness required. Let’s talk about that also. Or does that not matter. Like how women feel about men and their feelings. They don’t matter cause you women think and treat us men. Like we’re expendable, and easily replaceable. And our job is just to make you all feel like women. By giving you babies. That you weaponize against us. With every chance you get. Or because the wind blew a certain way.
Simply put, it is because she failed to make him fall in love. There is a possibility that he settled for her and she barely met his requirements for a relatioship and then she became more of a liability than a pleasant addition to his life. This is why love is so important, because if he loves you, he won't leave you. Or maybe she changed and showed her real annoying self after a few years of faking it till they finally tied the knot and she thought she was valued more than she actually was and started disrespecting him because she became too comfortable and she thought he was too in love and took it for granted. Sometimes women have a great relationship and then they listen to other hateful or jealous women that give them stupid advice just to see her fail and she actually falls for it and drives a steep permanent wedge in the relationship. It could be any number of things that she does to make herself more abrasive and sometimes men suffer in silence putting up with the feminist abuse until she gets very sick and becomes more burden than pleasure and it's just the last straw and he decides to walk away. There is absolutely nothing, that healthy men love more in this world than a healthy "feminine woman". Nothing. Everything else pales in comparison. A couple should mirror each other and be equally matched. Don't settle for a guy with status and money. A perfect relationship is possible if you are open minded and willing to invest in the guy willing to fall in love. The question for you then is: at what stage did you catch the guy in his love capacity spectrum? Did you get him while he belived in love, somewhere in between, or after he became totally and seriously jaded? One key thing women fail to see over and over, is that if a man makes it to the top $$$ "by himself without a wife" he won't see women as equals, he will see her as a temporary object to play with until he gets bored because he will always stay only on the surface. He will see her as disposable. He will only want to keep the woman that was there for him through thick and thin. The one he can trust with his life. The one that advised him, dreamed and planned with him. This is why you catch a guy early, when he is silly and romantic and capable of love, because by the time he reaches the top alone he is jaded with a dry heart and will be emotionally unavailable. That guy will treat women as disposable like a napkin or a disposable cup. You want to be the fancy cup that he has memories with and can't bring himself to throw away even after it breaks.(sickness) When people are sick, they usually are in pain and not very nice. They lash out disregarding other peoples emotions. Most men keep a woman because she is pleasant, empathetic, compatible and respectful, not because she is pretty because that fades away. The most unnattractive quality a woman can have is a bad attitude. The opposite of that, is the pure feminine energy of sweetness. Sweet voice, empathy and natural smiles. When a man loves a woman, even if her beauty fades, because of the emotions and memories, he will still see her the same exact way he met her, even in old age after she is wrinkled like a prune her intoxicating sweetness will echo in time...
This is just how it is, offspring takes presidents once born. It’s not until well after the kids have grown and moved on. Do woman possibly fall back in love with their partners. And then there are some couples that never lose the love for each other through it all.
Emily, have you seen the lady who is making the Happy Wife School videos? What she is exposing about women, is downright disturbing. I never realized how much my first wife gaslighted me. Wow
She will be married 20 years and the hub will roll on her This woman’s attitude is why men are happy to move on and get out of a love less and inconsiderate relationship.
The internet and social media kind of showed us who women really are. They exposed themselves and most men really dislike who women really are, under the mask they put on.
Male father of two here. You love people differently. Children, spouses, siblings, parents, friends, etc. There are distinct differences in those relationships. It’s not a “ranking” of the “level” of love, it’s just different. I lost my wife recently and didn’t know how deeply I loved her until I lost her. I also learned that my two adult children are wonderful in how they have supported each other and me, so love and our appreciation for that love changes throughout our lives for various reasons.
I agree with you 100%. It is so immature to turn it into a competition. God bless you and your children, and may He grant you patience and strength, ameen. Greetings from Pretoria, South Africa 🇿🇦
No one, other than children by their parents, are loved unconditionally. Assuming the child has good parents. Unconditional love is a total myth. If a woman gets fat and withdraws sex, that love fades fast.
The love I have for my husband and the love I have for my children are incomparable. They are two different things. Like food and water I will struggle without both.
That was my struggle with the concept why do you have to love both differently? Just because you love food doesn't mean you don't love water the same because you can't do without either. NO you literally can't because you will get indigestion or potentially liver stone problems because you are not digesting properly. You can absolutely love two people at the same time at the same level, particularly when both people are part of your marriage, your love life, your everyday life. What are we saying here? Come on!
This was one of my take-aways to the video! You should NOT be in love with your kids in the same way that you are in love with your spouse. That doesn't mean love for your spouse is "conditional" (not sure why Emily drew this conclusion) it just means that romantic love and parent-child love are different.
my dad once told me that he loves my mom and myself differently. that the love he felt for each of us was equal but different. I think that’s beautiful. and I didn’t understand as a kid but I think it’s a perfect explanation
I agreed it can just be different and not quantifiable. Nobody can love someone who theyre in a sexual relationship with are are supposed equals the same as your progeny who you dont share a sexual relationship with and measure and reflect your worth as a parent, not a partner. After all you love your 3d printer differently from the objects it prints lol
I understand not understanding as a child but once you're a teen it should be pretty obvious there are different kinds of love. If you parents loved you as they loved each other CPS would need to be involved. Romantic love is different than family love and those are different than material love, and those are different from friendship love, pet love, value love etc etc.
That's the right answer. There's no competition between the love you feel for your children and the love you feel for your spouse because they're not the same. It doesn't minimize either to acknowledge that it's different.
All of this. We have a running joke where I tell my husband that no one ever has or ever will love him like I do. I can't love him like his parents or siblings do, I can only love him with the devotion of a wife. We also both agree that we will put the needs of our children first and if that means he as a grown man has to sleep alone at night so I can sleep with the babies or that he sleeps every night with a baby waking him so I can work then that is what we do because we are mature adults that can self regulate where a baby can not. My husband doesn't need me to put him and his needs first because he is not a child that can not care for himself. He is a grown man that can take care of his own needs. When he married me he told me that he didn't marry me to be a cook or a maid that he can take care of himself in those ways but what he wanted was a companion to share life experiences with. Married 15 yrs and still going strong.😊
This is it. I explained to my wife when she told me she loved our kids more. I told her that I loved her first, and that love was chosen by me. I love my children unconditionally, they are a part of us both, and if I had not chosen her first, they wouldn't be here, and when they leave, I'll be all that's left. It made her think about what she was saying. Her love for our kids just is, and she chose to love me too, and when it's just us again, that love still needs to remain.
@@Clintonmilminepeople nowadays just find it easy to puke out things without thinking about how it might affect their partner, and yeah i certainly did too.
@@moefritz9568 It would be my wife, clearly. I would give her away for free, don't get me wrong, but I would even pay for it... As long as she doesn't ever come back i am fine.
But truly u should love your wife more. U chose her to love for life. U didn't marry to just birth children to love... And ultimately your daughter may marry and leave y'all and it will be just u two. U won't follow your daughter around. But your daughter also will gain a husband to love. And as hard as it sounds she should love him more than u.😊
It wouldn't surprise me if there was some phenomenon that removed good women, like your wife, from the world if they stray from an imbalanced narrative.
People are crazy that they want to compare these two kinds of love (spousal and parental) and sew discord about it. Idiotic comparisons aside, the most intense kind of love is Romantic love (which rarely means marital love). The trick is most people don't live this kind of love and aren't even wired for it, so they expect society to tell them what they are supposed to love most. Rofl. They get sanctimonious and self-righteous about the roles society assigns to them to love (parenthood, spouse-hood, whatever), then they flaunt how hard they love. Palm to head. High-caliber people don't love roles. They love actual souls who may happen to be in some of those roles (or not). They children always - by default. But children are not roles. They are part of you. Spouse, cousin, neighbor, in-law, whatever - those are roles. Some of the most intense loves in human history have been for people who occupied no particular social role. Simply a human, a soul with whom one bonded beyond words. Of course people love their families, but to flaunt "role" love and pit one against the other and make them "compete for love" is just plain boring and stupid. Leave it to the masses of normie dumb-skulls to do that.
women should see their husbands as their family tho. but i get that collective trauma from men makes women wary of doing so. because you never do really truely know.
As a married man with a child I can't say I love my wife more than my daughter or my daughter more than my wife. They are different types of love and can't be compared.
@@frogalex8915 I'm not even sure either of them love me at all. I provide for them. I make sure they have what they need and want. They can't get rid of me because they need what I provide. It is what it is.
just too bad that a strange woman giving credit does absolutelly nothing in the long run and is just to make you feel better for the moment, not for the long run as the actual problems never change.
@@paulchapman411not too strange. There’s an infinite amount of numbers between 1 and 2, and none of them will be three. There’s also an infinite amount of numbers between 1 and 3, that includes every number in the aforementioned infinity PLUS every number between 2 and 3.
I wouldn't say I love my husband more than my kids cause they're two completely different kinds of love but I definitely miss him more, which makes sense I guess cause we're meant to spend our life together while the kids will grow up and move away
YOU are 100% correct. With women, it is always, "What can you do for me." For men, it is almost 100%, "What can I do for you?" Sad...very sad...but true.
Not sad...it's how it should be. How could I possibly take pride in providing for my wife and children if I do not have a servitude mentality. Be a man
That's why in some cases men that become brothers will do anything for each other. They don't care about cost. They want their brother to be ok and healthy.
According to my mom, my grandpa sat her down when she was being a rebellious teenager to my grandma and said, “if I have to choose between her and you, I’m choosing her every time. Fix your attitude.”
I don't understand how people can compare the 2. One is your wife who you want to spend the rest of your life with, the other is your child who you would protect with your life.
I am non-existent in my children's life (two daughters) after my wife passed two years ago! It was my bad, because I refuse to allow myself to be ordered around like a puppy. Not a good look for men!
@@dilbertjunkmail Which are you referring to as _"not a good look?"_ Not being in your children's lives or being too prideful to help when asked? When thinking about _'being ordered around like a puppy'_ consider *only* whether you're spoiling (in the harmful sense) the family member you're helping or genuinely helping. Worrying about how _others_ perceive your willingness to help is merely insecurity and weakness. I mean, if you're in a gang or something and street cred is life-or-death, you do you. Keeping them away from that life is probably a good call. Otherwise, do what's best for your family. People's and society's attitude about it sucks but that doesn't change what the right thing to do is.
@MichaelDerryGameitect Just to make sure somebody does before the day is out, you're a total jerk. Dilbert is absolutely right. Women in general, and wives/gf/daughters think they can treat men like servants and are surprised when they get yanked up short about their behavior. You can go be a simp all you want. Some of us will keep our testicles and set boundaries and hold people responsible for their actions.
My dad was the perfect example of this. I got pretty angsty as a mid-late teenager and got out of line one day and yelled at my mom, and I guess my posture must have been overly aggressive. I literally didn't even see him move, but he somehow got off the chair, across the room, pushed me up into the wall and told me very quietly "look, it's ok to get mad and upset, but you will not EVER buck up against your mom like that again. She may be your mom, but that's my WIFE. And I will NOT let that happen." I had legitimately never seen my dad even get aggressive over a fly before. But he was 1,000% ready to knock my ass out. And I learned a very valuable lesson that day.
Think about it: children are going to eventually go off with someone else to spend the rest of their lives together, and leave the parents behind. The parents made a vow long before the children were born to spend their lives together. It's been generational since the first wedding.
@@fjtalleyauthor2242 my dad was essentially one of the old badass Kung fu dudes. Full chill 99.99999% of the time and spitting wisdom. And terrifyingly dangerous the other 0.00000% of the time when necessary
I absolutely love my daughters in a way I never knew before becoming a mother, but I want to still be deeply in love with their father, my husband, when they are grown and leave to hopefully find the men that will cherish them the rest of their lives, long after we are gone.
Their Father, Your Father, Your Husband's Father is God... Perspective, and how near we hold that ... kind of old thing to find surprising... Spiritually, And Sanctifier God Is Love Reversing that Sanctifying God Is The Only Father
There's a book titled "Bad Mother," an autobiography where the author talks about the rather disturbing (to her) realization that she loved her husband more than her children, and if forced to choose between her children and her husband, she would choose her husband. This left her feeling guilty and she decided to talk to her teenage daughter about it. And her daughter's reaction to her guilty confession was basically, "Well, yeah, I knew that," and was surprised her mother didn't realize that about herself.
@@john1703 exactly. It’s supposed to be a model to the children what such an intimate, lifelong bond should look like. The marriage has to precede the children in significance to the children in service to the children.
It’s a different type of love but the love/bond between husband and wife is unique and should be treasured. Kids also are comforted when they see their parents deeply in love with each other.
Sorry Steve I love my husband so much more than my kids!!!! My three kids are great but my husband is my hole life. The kids will move away but my husband is mine forever. Thank you Kira Smith.
Jeez... even before kids taking the lions share I never got enough love. If shes gonna take away from the little love she gives after kids...i just don't even see how it's worth it at that point.
Yup, Chris Rock said it best. " Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men are only loved under the condition they provide something."
That doesn't work on most people. I used to do that and all it does is make most people curious. They bug you until you tell them, then get mad because they didn't want to hear it.
@@michaelatcheson4816he could’ve been answering her question, hence “my dad once told me”. So, we don’t really know if she did or not. But good point, lol.
@@hshaughnessy17yeah, I know. Honestly, I think it’s supposed to be a subtle way of saying “I’m not going to answer that”, but some people don’t know how to take the hint. If their mission is to start something, they may press for an answer, in which case,now you gotta shut it down. If they get mad you don’t answer, you could tell them clearly you’re not answering and why. Some people like to start drama or create some level of animosity with certain questions they ask.
Exactly. It's not about NOT loving your children. It's just that he loves his wife even MORE than them. How can one not understand that? Women are making it a: "You DON'T love me." while that's simply not what has been said.
doubtful, people who love their spouses more than their own dna are severely demented, shame youre even allowed to breed with that way of thinking. you sicken me
The same goes for dads too. After we divorced my children begged to live with me. The judge said “NO.” I had an education, career, and a stable life. She had affairs, a hateful attitude, and no desire to better herself. I was much more loving, more tolerant, and want my kids to be around me. Yet they still feel obligated to love her and be there for her.
The truth is in the difference between man and woman basic mentality. Man is ready to sacrifice his life for a wife and his child. Woman can sacrifice her life only for her child. It is not the egoism it is difference in our foundation.
Except what’s most likely gonna happen is the girl’s gonna now try and seek love in a bunch of men who will only use her for sex and discard her once they get it because her dad didn’t know how to properly love her. Men love to point out how influential a father is in a young girl’s life but will refuse to pay attention to exactly what type of influence he is.
The real problem is the concept that you should even be quantifying love within a family to begin with. When it comes to the people who are the closest to you (your wife, husband, or children), it's best just to let them know they are all loved equally but in different ways. It really hurts to be told that you are loved less by someone compared to someone else, so don't be an asshole and try to rank the most important people to you. Even if you really do love someone less, don't let them know. Good way to mess up the relationship.
A voice of reason here. I thought this was something obvious that everyone knew and that it went without saying, but most people in this comment section don't seem to get this. They think there is a ranking. Sick.
I kind of wonder if people are mixing up "love" with liking someone/ enjoying being around someone. There are family members I have shared interests with, that like to do the same things I do, so I enjoy hanging out with them more than with some other family members. That doesn't mean I love them less, it just means we have less in common.
Exactly, ranking family members based on how much you love them shouldn't even be something you are able to do. I used to not believe my mom when she said she didn't have a favorite child, but after becoming a mom I understand. You just love different people differently NOT any less. But if I have to pick I'm going to pick my child because they are defenseless, my husband is not.
My dad told me that too, said he chose to spend his life with her and we would create our own families so he would choose her - but it never meant he loved us less, if that makes sense. He was an amazing dad, and my mom loved him just as much.
You shouldn’t love anyone more than the other, wtf kinda logic is that? If I was forced to choose I just wouldn’t choose and I’d let them both die or let myself die to save them. You’re traditionally supposed to love your children more because they are literally a product of you. They will carry your legacy.
@@Danity56 agreed. Id just argue more that loving them unconditionally is the least any parent should do. Cus you brought them into the world. Didnt exactly have a choice in the matter. They are the products of their parents. If you arent prepared for that, dont be a parent. If you arent able to find your healthy balance before then, you run the risk of 'fucking around to find out' and then bam. Your kid grows up with emotional baggage and trauma. No parent is perfect but their is a line between a mistake and royally fucking up.
@@jalanmcraebut if your kids die, and you still have your wife you can just have more. If you lose your wife then it's gonna be harder to find another compatible mate then it will be to just create more children.
I really don't believe you. It's nice and easy to say that knowing you're going to crawl into a warm bed tonight. It's another thing when bailiffs are knocking on your door and turfing you out. Either way, he knows that you will have options and he doesn't really believe what you say.
@@HaggisMuncher-69-420i think you are speaking out of experience or micro-hatred towards woman. Because some women get obsessed with guys and would hack off their right arms for a guy
I actually got relationship advice from my grandmother out of nowhere, and she told me that, you should love and trust you're partner just a bit more then your own kids, because kids are supposed to leave and go live their lives, but your partner is supposed to stay by your side no matter what, and when I told my mom that she said that's not true, but my grandparents have been together for 50 years, so....🤷🏻♀️
Your grandmother is right. I think people are conflating loving more with protection. A husband and wife should love each other more than their kids, but should put the kids wellbeing first while they are raising them. After they have been raised, that shouldn't be the case either.
ya I hate to say it but in terms of the last generation's mothers... they give the advice they do because misery loves company. Your Grandma know more about love and commitment.
And do they? No. Romantic relationships, even Marriages are conditional. The love you have for your child is unconditional. It's not about loving one or the other "more" it's that it's a completely different type of love.
Years ago I heard about a survey asking "What is the most important thing in your life?" Most women: My children. Most men: My family. There is a huge difference in these two answers.
My adoptive parents had a conversation about this when they had their first biological son. My mom felt bad for thinking that she‘d protect my brother before protecting my dad but then my dad went „If we were ever under attack I would use my goddamn body as a human shield to protect you and our son but when I‘m caught in a situation in which I have to choose one or another, I‘d choose our son without hesitation. And I‘d expect of you to do the same. It‘s not that I don‘t love you as my soulmate, my wife and the mother of my children but it is our responsibility as parents to make sure our children are protected.“ For some reason that stuck with me ever since he said that.
There is a movie called The Road that is about an apocalyptic future. The reason for the destruction of society is never revealed and it really isn't the point of the movie. It's about a father traversing the wasteland with his son. People forget how society is built on rules that will not exist when survival becomes the law of the land. There is a scene in that movie that stuck with me the most, and I think about it every now and then. The father and son have encountered one of the many gangs of individuals and cannibalism is how people survive. The father and son are hiding in the forest and the father has a single bullet for his gun. As the gang gets closer to their position the father holds the gun to his son's head, ready to take his son's life. He would shoot his own child to spare him the existence of being enslaved and kept as livestock. He is outnumbered and outgunned. He has to make a choice for his son and he would take his son's life on his terms to spare him the horror. The father would surely be captured and not only endure his fate alone, but have to mourn his son as well. It is a VERY thought provoking scene for a parent. That your love for your child could mean that you have to spare them an existence of horror by sacrificing their very existence and placing that horror on yourself! I highly recommend that movie. It's hard to watch, but it brings to light what it means to be a parent and what parental love is.
Your dad got that one exactly right. The son of a friend of mine and his wife were going to have their first child. He raised the concern, "What if I don't have feelings of love for my daughter as soon as she's born?" I said, "At that point, that is HER your job, not your." You are their PROTECTOR. Embrace that and everything will feel right. After a week or more, that will wear off when she looks at you and recognizes you."
@@patrickcoyne1292 if you’re a man that doesn’t love dogs then you’re a sociopathic creepy creeperton. You’re the guy that everyone in the neighborhood eyeballs when their pets go missing. Creepo
When I was a child I would fight with my mother. My father pulled me aside and clearly explained, that she is your mother and I am your father. But she is my wife and I will not allow anyone to disrespect my wife. This was one of my first memories of actually understanding someone else's perspective, and not just pretending to. A core memory that helped teach me how to turn of the ego. I feel the lack of this skill is the true tragedy of the modern society.
@@GLoLChibs this is either projection or assumption. No one said he would allow anyone to disrespect my siblings or myself. I weep for the children of today as they are not provided structure or healthy discipline and as a result have an unhealthy ego. To the point where we have a newly minted term "main character syndrome".
@ItsBugtronic It's neither. Parents aren't perfect, and when those teen years start and the inevitable arguments, that are a normal part of growing up, start, parents who put their spouse first are often the ones to never stand up for their kid and tell their spouse not to disrespect their kid when the spouse steps out of line. Which does happen. Those are often the same parents that often don't apologize to their kids and the ones who spout kids don't require respect because they're kids. People need to stop ignoring the bad that comes with whatever stance they support. Go browse online sites and pre-SM articles of how many widows and widowers either abandoned their existing kids or allow the new spouse to terrorize the kids for not accepting them as new mom/dad.
@@GLoLChibs I have far to much apathy to debate with someone who is clearly trying to treat all family experiences the same, and make assumptions that one person's sharing their experiences or way of learning means they think its the best way for everyone. Clearly this is a waste of time.
@ItsBugtronic And yet you are also doing the same. Funny how you advocate what you experience is the right and only way and the lack of it causes modern problems yet become dismissive when similar experiences produce opposite results.
Usually, the only woman who will love a man unconditionally, is a mother. Having said that, I think it is possible that a wife will love her husband unconditionally. My parents are have been married 50 years and my father has Alzheimer's. He's not wealthy and doesn't have much to offer in the worldly sense. But I know her love for him is real and genuine. It is rare to see that kind of love in today's narcissistic culture though.
Trust me...there are quite a few mothers who will have plenty of conditions for their sons to receive their love. That being said, best wishes to your parents.
My father told me this growing up. More than once. He said he didn’t love us as much as Mom because one day we would grow up and start families of our own and it would just be him and her. Now that it has become 100% reality and I have kids of my own I completely understand that.
@@Tomil4444Not really, it’s wise. Divorces after the kids leave the nest are extremely high. if one parent doesn’t make an effort to love the other. then when the kids leave, you are looking at this stranger you married 30 years ago. Divorce is next. besides it’s a different kind of love and i’m not saying that’s dads shouldn’t love their children. kids need to know that Daddy’s love their mother and won’t leave them and their mothers. stability.
I could only hope that a man will love my girls as much as I love their mother. Thats why Dads cry at daughter weddings, because they are the only ones who really understand what's happening.
@@alquinn3562its 100% a different kind of love I don't love my kids the way I love my husband. My husband is the most important person to me in the world he is my entire world. I also do love my kids so much my heart burst and I'd do anything for them. But my husband and our marriage it comes first and they are lucky to have him as a dad he's the best at everything he does.
This immature child has been in a few clips around the place. She scornful of men & snide/sarcastic. Def a lot of smirky bit¢h the way she smiles but not in a nice way. Other clips show this as well. Had to tell billions of people her Mom doesn't believe her father is everything to her, yet her Dad's clearly a mug here for thinking this. Remember her face lads. Particularly when she hits the wall in 10 yrs time & is no longer the smiling & smirking, smug little princess.
The point is that men are not appreciated because they are taken for granted. They are taken for granted to love their wives and kids but not the opposite
Women don’t love their children “more” than their husbands, but it is a different kind of love. We carry them in our womb for 40 weeks, give birth to them and nurture them 24/7 for the rest of their lives.. it’s just a different kind of love. I love my children and husband with the same intensity.. with all my and soul.
Exactly. A lot of people are making comments about that with no actual experience. A parent doesn't love their kid in the same way as they love their partner and both parents love their kids in different ways because they had a different experience.
Mothers consider leaving there partners all the time even if they don’t. They would never leave there kids. Moms now definitely love there kids more now. And when there kids are gone and old all u will have left is the partner. Was there at the beginning and the end
My mom told me all the time (before she passed) that she loved my dad more than she loved herself 🤷🏽♀️ and my dad said he loved her more than anyone in the world including us and his parents
Wonderful parents!! I love my husband mire than i love my kids. I always have. And i know he feels the same about me. What a sad way to grow old with someone if you don't love them more than you love anyone else.
@benstandard naw. I can trust my husband more than i can trust any of my family members. I love my family, do i think they will hurt me? No, not necessarily. But do i know that they have the best interest of me, my son and the life that we have built as much as my husband does? Absolutely not. My husband and i are partners in this life now, his good is my good and vice-versa. The families that we grew up with lost placement in our list of priorities once we created a family of our own to protect and cherish. To think about it simply as well, it depends on the bond you have in your marriage. Do you think you're gonna grow old and die with your siblings, parents, or your spouse? My answer is my husband, and of course, i expect my son will be holding my hand as i pass into the next life.
I used to be that way...nearly destroyed my marriage. I needed to realize I am here to raise my children and send them on their way in life, but my husband is my partner. We are celebrating 18 years and starting new everyday to strengthen that bond.
What about the other way? Your husband could divorce you or cheat....yes you send your children on their way but they will always be there. I work with the elderly and when their spouses are gone, guess who's there caring for them?? Their children!
@ivanamendez478 All she's saying is she realized she still needed to love and cherish her husband during the process? New parents seem like struggle the most as the mother tends to focus soley on the newborns and the fathers who are new to parenting dont realize yet and tend to feel neglected and forgotten causing more arguments and stress to the mom
@@ivanamendez478yeah, these people are twisted. Loving your spouse more than your child is INSANE. I genuinely feel.bad for any child that has a parent like this.
My mom always said to me, once you become a mother you will always be a mother. You will not always be a wife so you must take care of both relationships.
Not feeling that one. Once our children are grown and married with children of their, which mine are, then what? Your children are meant to leave you. I married my wife for life.
Make no mistake, the children are the only ones who are entitled to be loved unconditionally. If your wife cheated on you suddenly she's not loved unconditionally. If your wife was stealing from you, if she was lying to you, ect those are conditions. Much like women shouldn't have to put up with men doing the same thing. Do not pretend like women are loved unconditionally, because y'all don't do anything except talk trash about single mothers, and bash women who have careers.
@@ashleydodd9145 Your misinterpretation of unconditional love seems to assume that if a person is loved unconditionally, that love cannot be lost. Nothing further from the truth. Unconditional love means that you don't need to do anything to gain it i. e. there is no condition that needs to be fulfilled in order for that person to love you. That does not mean there is no condition for you to lose it. Also, please don't generalise people with the southern "y'all". I for one don't bash a single mothers if they became such due to a man's abuse or his death. I will bash one who became a single mother because "she need no man" or "her husband bored her", or "I don't love my man no more" because at that point she'd be making a selfish decision with no concern for the child's wellbeing. As for women with careers, I don't bash those either, but I find it funny how they are glorifying careers. Especially if at some point they abandon them to look for men that have already been picked by women that choose family over careers.
@@ashleydodd9145 Can you prove that you are evenhanded and unbiased in your conclusions? I’m betting that you can’t. You couldn’t even keep yourself from putting words in my mouth. Get some help. I did. ✌🏼
@@smurfmianz4527 Yeah. Plenty of stories from sex workers in NA about men who just want a woman to hang out with for a bit, no expectations, no small print, no risk of being dragged.
Exactly because it's two different types of love. In Greek there seven different words for love each meaning a different type. I love my partner in a completely different way than I love my children. It's not more or less it's just different.
@@shadowbanned5164 No, not for me. They come before me, yes, but not before my husband. Now in terms of abuse it is my place as Mom to protect them at all costs. However, I serve my husband's plate first, then the kids unless they get up and get it themselves. I sit down last. My marriage being healthy comes before my kids because they need to see a healthy, stable, and loving marriage. The love I have for my husband is a different kind of love than I have for my kids though both are unconditional.
I once asked my mom if she loves me and my sisters or my dad more and she told me that it's a different kind of love, she loves my dad romantically of course, and she loves us like her children. Love isn't a scale, or a rating.
Do you have children? If not, let me explain that, as a mother, you would literally die for them. There is a different and unique kind of love for them. You protect them, literally are their only source of nutrition when they are first born and you carry them for 40 or so weeks in your body. It’s a deep rooted, love that’s unmeasurable.
@@mollyeckert8658 Do you think it's different for men? [Good] men will literally give their lives without second thought to protect and provide for their wife and children. Also, a mother is not the *only* source of nutrition for newborns; there is formula and you can use another woman's breast milk.
@ravenrich1369 no it isn't downplaying it is factually correct. The person I replied to claimed mothers "literally are their only source of nutrition when they are first born" which is factually incorrect. Many women are unable to breastfeed, and many others choose not to breastfeed; their children must still receive nutrition. In todays world, that often means formula, prior to formula, it entailed using another woman's breast milk (a wet nurse).
It’s an unfortunate reality that I am not the most important person in my own life but, my children’s mother is the most important person in her own life.
If a woman were to say this and the tables were flipped, her friends would be berating her to leave you and would have all the support in the world. You just, “have to deal with it” and it’s a “sad reality” for you. I left the mom of my child because of stuff like this and I was plastered all over FB about it. Now things are great and we get along better than ever before and we stay out of each others business. And the child always comes first and especially around this time of year. Btw this comment is not hostile. Just a heads up. Nobody come at me I am sympathizing with this gentleman.
@@FreedomMaster-SteveI agree with this, aside from the part where you say children come first. This is my interpretation of that, so please correct me if I'm misreading: As a caveat, you should not stay with a partner, just for the sake of the children. It's better to come from a broken home, than to live in one.
Women genuinely don't care about what the people around them want out of life. They can act and say things, but they don't actually care. Falling in love is a waste of time and energy. Find someone who will help you provide for your kids. Once the kids are grown, figure it out. I am not a giving person anymore. I take what I have to in order to provide for my kids. That's all that matters. Part of me feels bad for the woman I'm with now. But that part of me is not loud enough to overshadow logic. My ex wife choked the life out of the old me. She never cared about anything I wanted, never worked, had me working 3 jobs for YEARS, paying everything, supporting her drug addiction, barely making it because of her while I wasted my life, ruined my credit, and wound up with nothing. I didn't even get to enjoy the drugs. I was sober until the last like year and a half of our 9 year relationship. She destroyed my ambition and will to fight and then left, taking my kids and my money with her. Still taking my money. Then when I tried again, because I needed help to support my kids, like 2 years in my new girl stopped doing anything. Stopped cleaning the house, spending time with me and the kids as a family, taking care of herself or anything else, she barely even talks to her own son, my step son. She just stares at screens all day. That's when I realized no woman is important enough to put above my kids. My mom was shit, my ex wife was shit, my girlfriend is shit. IDK one woman in my life that I would consider worth a damn thing. Tho I've known many men who put their mind, body, and soul on the line to live a good life and provide for their family. Women are a joke, only good for getting government benefits IF EVEN THAT, and getting laid. If you can get one to work, they are good for (part of) a paycheck. Nothing else. Your kids are more important.
As a Dad, I would disagree. If you only had enough money to get your grown son/daughter or your wife out of jail which one are you bailing out first? And you can't "phone a friend" or get outside help.
My dad only said "your mom was here before you kids were" they've been married for 40 years and still act like teenagers in love. I hope to have that kind of relationship/marriage one day. They're amazing ❤
The best thing you can do for your children is to love your spouse well. This will give them a great sense of security as well as model behaviors of a healthy marriage.
Women don't even love children. Hell, they aren't all that fond of themselves, for that matter. They're real life fae, concerned only with their own entertainment to the point of awe inspiring cruelty to everyone and everything around themselves.
Mike Tyson once said, “ the difference between your wife and your mother is, your mother is absolutely committed to your survival. Your wife is committed to her survival.” This is because she is committed to her own children’s survival because their survival depends upon her survival. We men discover this later but we know it is true. She will die for them, but not for you.
Said as if one parent is more capable of providing and protecting the children than the other. In a survival scenario where it mattered I would much rather have my father at my back than my mother.
And good male parents should be the same. Women have been saying forever that there's a different connection between fathers and mothers and their children and apparently many men are happy to admit it as long as it makes them look like poor buggers who don't get unconditional love etc.
It's a primal thing. It took me 47 years to learn that I need reciprocation for my mental health. If I can't be loved back the way I love you, what am I doing to myself? My kids love me. They love me without me breaking the bank. They don't ask me for anything but emotional support. I'm the preferred parent in both households. I won't accept anything less than what I give, and I don't ask for more than I deserve. It's up to us men to change the narrative.
I once had a close female family member tell me, “men should never have expectations”. I then realized why so many men are in the position they are in, and how much people do to prove themselves to other people, validate themselves, and fulfill perceived masculine lack. Women will call you gay for seeking reciprocation, and it makes me question what the motive is of these women, a 1/3 relationship until we break up? I spent $40 dollars on lunch for just myself yesterday then thanked myself I’m not dating 😂
I hate it when people treat love like a rating system
Right? There are different types of love so why is it on a non existent scale? Nuance.
There definitely is a difference in “amounts” or in the “strength” of love. Its not only different kinds of love. Sure u have friendship love and family love and pets love and so on. But even within that there are definitely scales. I love my mom because she is family, i also love my cousins because they are family. I have the same type of love for both, but the “amount” of love i have for my mother is far greater. Humans aren’t perfect, even the kindest purest souls have flaws. And acting as if you love everyone equally or that you don’t subconsciously have a “ranking system” is only lying to yourself
💯
@@mauroguerreiro2234 Not for me. I either love or I don't. It's not a scale. My children, friends, and partner are each a color of a rainbow that I love differently and I would be devastated if anything happened to them. What a horrible idea to force someone to choose based on a metaphorical scale. I can't really imagine lightly loving someone or loving someone 'less'. Are you sure you don't mean just liking some people? Also just because someone is family doesn't mean you love them. Not you specifically because you might be really close to them but in general. Idk. Maybe I'm just odd. If there was a measurement for me it would be love, like, and basic respect.
@@mauroguerreiro2234 So, do you rank love for your children too? i.e. do you have a favorite?
My wife does. And that's why I love her as unconditionally, too.
I lost my mom from Cancer a few years ago. I realized then that I had lost the last person on the planet that truly loved me. Everything else was conditional. If I don’t provide, I’m out. If I don’t treat someone else the way they want me to treat them I’m out. I hate to say it but if I treated my GF the way I treated my moms sometimes as I was growing up my GF would get rid of me.
It is biblically correct for a man and a woman to placr higher value on their covenant with one another than with their relationship with their children. My Dad told me the same thing when I was young and my Mom did too. Knowing that their marital bond was strong and that it could not be broken by any manipulation or intrusion on my part actually made my childhood more stable and more secure and more happy than it would have been had either or both of them prioritized their love for me over their love for each other.
100% agree. Unfortunate circumstances in life deemed necessary that I risk my life. To make safe the life of my wife. All turned out well she is safe. I am also. I always felt that I would die for her. But more importantly that I live for her. I see now that the children grandchildren, even her siblings and parents rate higher than I do. Decades of marriage I am not sure what I should do with this. The saying goes a broken heart can fix a vision problem. I don’t know if I would change anything. if I had it all to do again. Doubtful loyalty is in my nature. just a word of caution to men. Perhaps this is as it should be.
I started loving my husband unconditionally only after I saw he stuck around after I sobered up. I’ve been sober for three years now and I can say I love that man unconditionally.
Lose the stuck around jargon Congrats on your sobriety
Congratulations...but that is the very essence off loving him with conditions. I am quite sincere when I say congratulations BTW.
Most women once sober look at a man that would put up with a wasted wife as weak and worthless, and leave.
My man has stood by me while I was getting sober from heroin and meth. It’s such a gift to be able to have that support.
@@MrsMockerman1011 that will change as you get stronger.
The hardest thing in life is, by far, marriage. Add raising kids, the second, it’s a real test to see how SELFISH you are. “Soul of a woman was created below.” That’s what it’s looking like.
The Creator is not loved unconditionally by many.
Men are in good company!
I love my children, but my husband is my life partner and I love him the most!
Women have mistaken money for love. I love my children, not the ones the wife made with the neighbor. Cheaters will never be truly loved again.
A basic tenet of relationships: men love women, women love children, children love animals. I've heard this too many times, and it seems true.
Her mother loves her because that's a face only a mother could love.
Women show this on a daily basis and most have no idea how close they are to getting dumped in the street on their ass because of it… Married 30 years and I feel this every single day. She will put everything else above me… dogs, horses, kids/grandkids, friends… the list goes on. I’m about at the end of being a wallet to her.
YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED BETTER BRO!!! Being alone is better than being a money fountain for someone who doesnt show appreciation
That was me. I once made a list of everything that was more important to her than me; it was a very long list.
I’m in the exact same boat brother. 30 years as well.
Good to know it dosnt get better. Glad i got out
@@davebenz8271 Did you show her that list? Leave her to chew in it for a week then ask her how YOU should feel about this. She'll only understand feelings, so asking her what your feelings should be if it was her?? Might be an interesting question she's never thought about.
I’ve heard a good analogy, that the wife is like the chandelier in the house. It’s there to stay.
The child is like one of the light bulbs on that chandelier. Eventually that light will come off as the child gets married and begins a life of their own.
Ya, I loved my ex more than my kids, right up until I didn't because she only cared about herself. Meanwhile the kids loved me unconditionally
I disagree my wife and i have always had the understanding that our children are more important than we are would gladly sacrifice ourselves for them. We expect eachother to save the children first
Make no mistake. Once a child is born the woman is consumed with love for the baby. Trust me, men understand and respect that because THAT is how it's meant to be.
Wow! I am amazed that you went there. Respect earned
Simple to understand this...your mom gave birth to you, the connection is different...when your mother was giving birth if anything went wrong and the father had to choose, guess who he would choose...the mother.
50 yrs this year. I love my wife more than life more than kids. I have known for a long time that my wife loves my kids more than me but about a year ago I realized she loves the dogs more than me. That’s messed up.
I would argue that the love for your children is different than the love for your spouse. They are different kinds of love.
However, the protection of your children should always come first. In a healthy relationship, this shouldn't be an issue, but in an unhealthy relationship, this could very well become an issue. How many women (or men) stay with a partner who hurts either them or their children? Too many. They should put the protection of their children first.
Most women are biologically inclined to put their children first. They carried their children for nine months, feeling them grow and move inside them, then usually having a painful labour to birth them, then breastfeeding them, and this causes these women to feel a bond with their children.
It's still a different kind of love than the love you have for your spouse, though.
If men's love for women is so much more wholesome and unconditional, then why are women more likely to get left while fighting a serious or terminal illness?
For those asking, it is a study published in Cancer, an academic journal. My citations keep being removed.
That's a damn good question and I'm glad you asked it.
EXACTLY. It doesn’t make sense…
Because most men are jerks. What did you expect?
Women leave a man when he’s down all of time. No illness required. Let’s talk about that also. Or does that not matter. Like how women feel about men and their feelings. They don’t matter cause you women think and treat us men. Like we’re expendable, and easily replaceable. And our job is just to make you all feel like women. By giving you babies. That you weaponize against us. With every chance you get. Or because the wind blew a certain way.
Simply put, it is because she failed to make him fall in love. There is a possibility that he settled for her and she barely met his requirements for a relatioship and then she became more of a liability than a pleasant addition to his life. This is why love is so important, because if he loves you, he won't leave you. Or maybe she changed and showed her real annoying self after a few years of faking it till they finally tied the knot and she thought she was valued more than she actually was and started disrespecting him because she became too comfortable and she thought he was too in love and took it for granted.
Sometimes women have a great relationship and then they listen to other hateful or jealous women that give them stupid advice just to see her fail and she actually falls for it and drives a steep permanent wedge in the relationship. It could be any number of things that she does to make herself more abrasive and sometimes men suffer in silence putting up with the feminist abuse until she gets very sick and becomes more burden than pleasure and it's just the last straw and he decides to walk away.
There is absolutely nothing, that healthy men love more in this world than a healthy "feminine woman". Nothing. Everything else pales in comparison. A couple should mirror each other and be equally matched. Don't settle for a guy with status and money. A perfect relationship is possible if you are open minded and willing to invest in the guy willing to fall in love. The question for you then is: at what stage did you catch the guy in his love capacity spectrum? Did you get him while he belived in love, somewhere in between, or after he became totally and seriously jaded?
One key thing women fail to see over and over, is that if a man makes it to the top $$$ "by himself without a wife" he won't see women as equals, he will see her as a temporary object to play with until he gets bored because he will always stay only on the surface. He will see her as disposable. He will only want to keep the woman that was there for him through thick and thin. The one he can trust with his life. The one that advised him, dreamed and planned with him. This is why you catch a guy early, when he is silly and romantic and capable of love, because by the time he reaches the top alone he is jaded with a dry heart and will be emotionally unavailable. That guy will treat women as disposable like a napkin or a disposable cup. You want to be the fancy cup that he has memories with and can't bring himself to throw away even after it breaks.(sickness)
When people are sick, they usually are in pain and not very nice. They lash out disregarding other peoples emotions. Most men keep a woman because she is pleasant, empathetic, compatible and respectful, not because she is pretty because that fades away. The most unnattractive quality a woman can have is a bad attitude. The opposite of that, is the pure feminine energy of sweetness. Sweet voice, empathy and natural smiles. When a man loves a woman, even if her beauty fades, because of the emotions and memories, he will still see her the same exact way he met her, even in old age after she is wrinkled like a prune her intoxicating sweetness will echo in time...
It's nice to see a 1 doing a video
If a father loved his daughter more than his wife that would explain where “daddy issues” come from. Also that’s illegal!!!
I mean that is a face only a mother could love
This is just how it is, offspring takes presidents once born. It’s not until well after the kids have grown and moved on. Do woman possibly fall back in love with their partners. And then there are some couples that never lose the love for each other through it all.
BINGO - society has gone down a broken pathway - what route will you take?
Emily, have you seen the lady who is making the Happy Wife School videos? What she is exposing about women, is downright disturbing. I never realized how much my first wife gaslighted me. Wow
"Your children may mean the world to you, but you may not mean the world to them."
That goes with anyone
That isnt how it is and that isn't how it should be. Children first above everything
She will be married 20 years and the hub will roll on her This woman’s attitude is why men are happy to move on and get out of a love less and inconsiderate relationship.
This was the biggest kick to the gut
Daughter realized she wasn't the favorite:
Men aren't loved unconditionally... ever. And yes, we are aware.
Very aware as it turns out.
The internet and social media kind of showed us who women really are. They exposed themselves and most men really dislike who women really are, under the mask they put on.
Men ARE loved unconditionally…by their dogs. Stay single Men. Get a dog instead.
What about by their mother's?
@@leftysheppey It's a crapshoot.
Male father of two here. You love people differently. Children, spouses, siblings, parents, friends, etc. There are distinct differences in those relationships. It’s not a “ranking” of the “level” of love, it’s just different. I lost my wife recently and didn’t know how deeply I loved her until I lost her. I also learned that my two adult children are wonderful in how they have supported each other and me, so love and our appreciation for that love changes throughout our lives for various reasons.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending happiness and blessings for this New Year❤
Exactly! I am sorry for your loss, but you are right, we love everybody around us differently.
I offer my condolences to you and your family. Know that she is in God's kingdom waiting for you once your mission is complete 🙏🏼
I agree with you 100%. It is so immature to turn it into a competition. God bless you and your children, and may He grant you patience and strength, ameen. Greetings from Pretoria, South Africa 🇿🇦
I am very sorry for your loss, May You Wife Rest In Peace 🕊
What that woman said at the end hit hard. That's a sobering reminder that we men generally aren't loved unconditionally. That needs to start changing.
Whatever, the mother probably is cheating and the daughter will turn out to be a 304.
Couldn't agree more.
No one, other than children by their parents, are loved unconditionally. Assuming the child has good parents. Unconditional love is a total myth. If a woman gets fat and withdraws sex, that love fades fast.
She isn't his.
This is not a changr thing. This is just the way it is. Accept it.
The love I have for my husband and the love I have for my children are incomparable. They are two different things. Like food and water I will struggle without both.
Perfect way of saying this!
i love the way you worded that. *perfect analogy
That was my struggle with the concept why do you have to love both differently? Just because you love food doesn't mean you don't love water the same because you can't do without either.
NO you literally can't because you will get indigestion or potentially liver stone problems because you are not digesting properly.
You can absolutely love two people at the same time at the same level, particularly when both people are part of your marriage, your love life, your everyday life.
What are we saying here? Come on!
This was one of my take-aways to the video! You should NOT be in love with your kids in the same way that you are in love with your spouse. That doesn't mean love for your spouse is "conditional" (not sure why Emily drew this conclusion) it just means that romantic love and parent-child love are different.
Perfectly said!
my dad once told me that he loves my mom and myself differently. that the love he felt for each of us was equal but different. I think that’s beautiful. and I didn’t understand as a kid but I think it’s a perfect explanation
I like that.
I agreed it can just be different and not quantifiable. Nobody can love someone who theyre in a sexual relationship with are are supposed equals the same as your progeny who you dont share a sexual relationship with and measure and reflect your worth as a parent, not a partner.
After all you love your 3d printer differently from the objects it prints lol
Zachary
lissadyesuueuesuusueueududheududhdhdhdh2weueudu❤❤❤❤❤❤❤hdj
I understand not understanding as a child but once you're a teen it should be pretty obvious there are different kinds of love. If you parents loved you as they loved each other CPS would need to be involved. Romantic love is different than family love and those are different than material love, and those are different from friendship love, pet love, value love etc etc.
I remember asking my dad the same question and he said completely calmed; my love for you is different from the love I have for your mother.
I said something similiar to my daughter when she asked. Love between wife and husband os completely different to love between parent and a child.
That's the right answer. There's no competition between the love you feel for your children and the love you feel for your spouse because they're not the same. It doesn't minimize either to acknowledge that it's different.
All of this. We have a running joke where I tell my husband that no one ever has or ever will love him like I do. I can't love him like his parents or siblings do, I can only love him with the devotion of a wife. We also both agree that we will put the needs of our children first and if that means he as a grown man has to sleep alone at night so I can sleep with the babies or that he sleeps every night with a baby waking him so I can work then that is what we do because we are mature adults that can self regulate where a baby can not. My husband doesn't need me to put him and his needs first because he is not a child that can not care for himself. He is a grown man that can take care of his own needs. When he married me he told me that he didn't marry me to be a cook or a maid that he can take care of himself in those ways but what he wanted was a companion to share life experiences with. Married 15 yrs and still going strong.😊
Best answer you could give. Don’t make it a competition.
I would hope he loves your mom differently; romantic love is different than familial love... it would be very gross if he loved you the same. Ew.
The comments nailed it 100%. I don’t love either my child or my partner more than the other, I love them differently.
Exactly. I definitely do not love either one more. And I’m more than willing to die for either.
This is it. I explained to my wife when she told me she loved our kids more. I told her that I loved her first, and that love was chosen by me. I love my children unconditionally, they are a part of us both, and if I had not chosen her first, they wouldn't be here, and when they leave, I'll be all that's left. It made her think about what she was saying. Her love for our kids just is, and she chose to love me too, and when it's just us again, that love still needs to remain.
@@Clintonmilmine🥺😭
@@Clintonmilmine perfectly said
@@Clintonmilminepeople nowadays just find it easy to puke out things without thinking about how it might affect their partner, and yeah i certainly did too.
It’s just different love. I love my wife and my daughter with all my heart and would go to the end of the earth for them.
If you had to pick one to lose, which would it be 😂
@@moefritz9568
It would be my wife, clearly.
I would give her away for free, don't get me wrong, but I would even pay for it...
As long as she doesn't ever come back i am fine.
But truly u should love your wife more. U chose her to love for life. U didn't marry to just birth children to love... And ultimately your daughter may marry and leave y'all and it will be just u two. U won't follow your daughter around. But your daughter also will gain a husband to love. And as hard as it sounds she should love him more than u.😊
@@Faithfulsally are you married and do you have children?
@@moefritz9568 I’d pick…… you! 😂
My kids once asked my late wife which one of them was her favorite and she replied "Your Dad" I was so blessed. I miss her so much.
I'm sorry you your loss.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss. She sounds amazing 🙏
@@Schizo-Devil She truly was, I appreciate you taking the time to share your condolences.
It wouldn't surprise me if there was some phenomenon that removed good women, like your wife, from the world if they stray from an imbalanced narrative.
@@imranshafiq3727 I'm not even sure if YOU know what that means.
Romantic love and familial love should always be different. Huge difference between loving your child and loving your intimate partner.
People are crazy that they want to compare these two kinds of love (spousal and parental) and sew discord about it.
Idiotic comparisons aside, the most intense kind of love is Romantic love (which rarely means marital love).
The trick is most people don't live this kind of love and aren't even wired for it, so they expect society to tell them what they are supposed to love most. Rofl. They get sanctimonious and self-righteous about the roles society assigns to them to love (parenthood, spouse-hood, whatever), then they flaunt how hard they love.
Palm to head.
High-caliber people don't love roles. They love actual souls who may happen to be in some of those roles (or not). They children always - by default. But children are not roles. They are part of you. Spouse, cousin, neighbor, in-law, whatever - those are roles.
Some of the most intense loves in human history have been for people who occupied no particular social role. Simply a human, a soul with whom one bonded beyond words.
Of course people love their families, but to flaunt "role" love and pit one against the other and make them "compete for love" is just
plain boring and stupid. Leave it to the masses of normie dumb-skulls to do that.
Except in Alabama
@@eliott.b76 " *No need to look for a partner when you can walk across the hall.* " ~ A actual guy from Alabama.
That's what I'm thinking - how can the two even be compared?
women should see their husbands as their family tho. but i get that collective trauma from men makes women wary of doing so. because you never do really truely know.
As a married man with a child I can't say I love my wife more than my daughter or my daughter more than my wife. They are different types of love and can't be compared.
Ding ding ding, thats a good parent right there!👏👏👏🎉
Doing it right 😊
Yeah but both love you under the condition you continue to protect and provide for them.
@@frogalex8915 I'm not even sure either of them love me at all. I provide for them. I make sure they have what they need and want. They can't get rid of me because they need what I provide. It is what it is.
@@frogalex8915
If you pick well that's not a hard task, monogamy is the key.
One must believe in each other's soul to respect the union.
@@joestalin2375 lose your ability to protect and provide and see how far that love for you goes.
Emily the amount of credit you give to the hard working voiceless men out there is much appreciated, keep it up.
emily knows. she is speaking for a generation of guys.. *thumbsup*
Someone give this dude a hug
just too bad that a strange woman giving credit does absolutelly nothing in the long run and is just to make you feel better for the moment, not for the long run as the actual problems never change.
@@cclphdfu she points out the obvious and perhaps wise men will understand their worth and find good women.
@@cclphdfusee? They don't even want us to have MOMENTS of appreciation out here!!
Those are two loves that can’t be compared because the depth of both should be infinite.
Strange as it may seem one infinity can be bigger than another
@@paulchapman411That'd because one is infinite and the other is completely conditional.
@@paulchapman411not too strange. There’s an infinite amount of numbers between 1 and 2, and none of them will be three.
There’s also an infinite amount of numbers between 1 and 3, that includes every number in the aforementioned infinity PLUS every number between 2 and 3.
I wouldn't say I love my husband more than my kids cause they're two completely different kinds of love but I definitely miss him more, which makes sense I guess cause we're meant to spend our life together while the kids will grow up and move away
I love me and F everybody else.
YOU are 100% correct. With women, it is always, "What can you do for me." For men, it is almost 100%, "What can I do for you?" Sad...very sad...but true.
Not sad...it's how it should be. How could I possibly take pride in providing for my wife and children if I do not have a servitude mentality. Be a man
@@QATest4fun❤
Then you're not finding the right woman, it's not a universal woman thing. There are toxic men and woman you have to find the right ones
That's why in some cases men that become brothers will do anything for each other. They don't care about cost. They want their brother to be ok and healthy.
How true are you 👌
Men love their women for who they are.
Women love their men for what they provide.
The second sentence is accurate. The first is not. Men also love women for what they provide, particularly their good looks.
(And the value of "who they are" has declined in recent years.)
@@TheDSGuyThey don't "give us" their looks, they just have them.
If they had that kind of control, they'd be able to keep them as they aged.
Men are in love, women are in business
@@smokingcrab2290 Well, they can take their business elsewhere. :)
According to my mom, my grandpa sat her down when she was being a rebellious teenager to my grandma and said, “if I have to choose between her and you, I’m choosing her every time. Fix your attitude.”
That’s how you fix a wanton woman before she becomes what we see in society today. Good man.
Ouch, sounds like that tough love.
As God intended!!!!
Your grandfather is a good man.
Which is her and which is you?
I don't understand how people can compare the 2. One is your wife who you want to spend the rest of your life with, the other is your child who you would protect with your life.
Exactly. My comment is basically that. I love my kids and my husband in two different ways.
Thank you. There's no comparison. It's like asking who do you love more, friends or family, parents or grandparents, mum or dad
@@laurahullandyeah that’s what she is saying in the video. You love your kids unconditionally and you love your husband conditionally
@@gracecodd4378all those can easily be answered.
You wouldn't die for your spouse ?
Another father told me before my first child was born- "Be prepared because you are now last in line for everything." 😂
I frequently referred to myself as 'Number Six' (4 kids), which wouldn't have bothered me, except that she seemed to agree...
I am non-existent in my children's life (two daughters) after my wife passed two years ago! It was my bad, because I refuse to allow myself to be ordered around like a puppy. Not a good look for men!
@@dilbertjunkmail Which are you referring to as _"not a good look?"_ Not being in your children's lives or being too prideful to help when asked?
When thinking about _'being ordered around like a puppy'_ consider *only* whether you're spoiling (in the harmful sense) the family member you're helping or genuinely helping. Worrying about how _others_ perceive your willingness to help is merely insecurity and weakness.
I mean, if you're in a gang or something and street cred is life-or-death, you do you. Keeping them away from that life is probably a good call. Otherwise, do what's best for your family.
People's and society's attitude about it sucks but that doesn't change what the right thing to do is.
@MichaelDerryGameitect Just to make sure somebody does before the day is out, you're a total jerk. Dilbert is absolutely right.
Women in general, and wives/gf/daughters think they can treat men like servants and are surprised when they get yanked up short about their behavior.
You can go be a simp all you want. Some of us will keep our testicles and set boundaries and hold people responsible for their actions.
Aw. Maybe you should’ve given your newborn a slap on the ass and told him to go out and get a steak 🥩?
My dad was the perfect example of this.
I got pretty angsty as a mid-late teenager and got out of line one day and yelled at my mom, and I guess my posture must have been overly aggressive.
I literally didn't even see him move, but he somehow got off the chair, across the room, pushed me up into the wall and told me very quietly "look, it's ok to get mad and upset, but you will not EVER buck up against your mom like that again. She may be your mom, but that's my WIFE. And I will NOT let that happen."
I had legitimately never seen my dad even get aggressive over a fly before. But he was 1,000% ready to knock my ass out. And I learned a very valuable lesson that day.
Think about it: children are going to eventually go off with someone else to spend the rest of their lives together, and leave the parents behind. The parents made a vow long before the children were born to spend their lives together. It's been generational since the first wedding.
My Dad pretty much did the same thing when I screamed "I hate you" at my mom when I was a Teen.
@@ShrodingersHat I would've made the obituaries when I was a teen
Your Dad was a ninja.
@@fjtalleyauthor2242 my dad was essentially one of the old badass Kung fu dudes. Full chill 99.99999% of the time and spitting wisdom. And terrifyingly dangerous the other 0.00000% of the time when necessary
I absolutely love my daughters in a way I never knew before becoming a mother, but I want to still be deeply in love with their father, my husband, when they are grown and leave to hopefully find the men that will cherish them the rest of their lives, long after we are gone.
that is the sweetest thing I have read all day 😭
Things change so much when they fly the nest! I feel like my husband and I are closer now that the kids are gone.
Their Father, Your Father, Your Husband's Father is God... Perspective, and how near we hold that ... kind of old thing to find surprising... Spiritually, And Sanctifier God Is Love Reversing that Sanctifying God Is The Only Father
There's a book titled "Bad Mother," an autobiography where the author talks about the rather disturbing (to her) realization that she loved her husband more than her children, and if forced to choose between her children and her husband, she would choose her husband. This left her feeling guilty and she decided to talk to her teenage daughter about it. And her daughter's reaction to her guilty confession was basically, "Well, yeah, I knew that," and was surprised her mother didn't realize that about herself.
Nothing wrong here. That is the whole point of marriage, which is not be be put asunder. Also children are commanded to honour their parents.
@@john1703 exactly. It’s supposed to be a model to the children what such an intimate, lifelong bond should look like. The marriage has to precede the children in significance to the children in service to the children.
Nothing wrong! When there's a strong base, your family stands firm. Children thrive when they see their parents loving each other so much
It’s a different type of love but the love/bond between husband and wife is unique and should be treasured. Kids also are comforted when they see their parents deeply in love with each other.
Women and children are loved unconditionally whereas men are loved with conditions. Well said. And so true.
Facts
Men are not loved at, let alone conditionally
MY SON IS MY FAVORITE PERSON .
ALWAYS HAS BEEN ALWAYS WILL BE .
Men are tolerated under conditions, not loved.
Sorry Steve I love my husband so much more than my kids!!!! My three kids are great but my husband is my hole life. The kids will move away but my husband is mine forever. Thank you Kira Smith.
Most men already know that. She will divide her love and the children will get the lion's share.
Not just the children; we come after the dog and the cat, too. We often take a backseat to doing laundry!
Jeez... even before kids taking the lions share I never got enough love.
If shes gonna take away from the little love she gives after kids...i just don't even see how it's worth it at that point.
@@BuzzBoarMy wife will straight up stop listening to me while I'm mid-sentence if one of the kids starts talking. It happens every time.
@@brettdueck824Then tell the kids not to interrupt while you're talking and then address it with her when kids aren't around.
@@stephenbonaduce7852I wouldn’t even be involved if that’s the deal. I didn’t sign up to a woman’s slave.
Yup, Chris Rock said it best. " Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men are only loved under the condition they provide something."
That's not even being loved. That's what they provide being appreciated.
its true
True
No truer words have ever been spoken
I love women children and dogs very conditionally. Because I know that people try to replace me.
A dad once said - don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
That doesn't work on most people. I used to do that and all it does is make most people curious. They bug you until you tell them, then get mad because they didn't want to hear it.
But she didn't ask...
Lol
@@michaelatcheson4816he could’ve been answering her question, hence “my dad once told me”. So, we don’t really know if she did or not. But good point, lol.
@@hshaughnessy17yeah, I know. Honestly, I think it’s supposed to be a subtle way of saying “I’m not going to answer that”, but some people don’t know how to take the hint. If their mission is to start something, they may press for an answer, in which case,now you gotta shut it down. If they get mad you don’t answer, you could tell them clearly you’re not answering and why. Some people like to start drama or create some level of animosity with certain questions they ask.
You got that right
And yet the dad would probably lay down his life for his daughter if push comes to shove, no questions asked.
Yes, now think what he will do when someone tries to hurt his wife.
And she will help with the bodies.
lol
Exactly. It's not about NOT loving your children. It's just that he loves his wife even MORE than them.
How can one not understand that?
Women are making it a: "You DON'T love me." while that's simply not what has been said.
@@dezpotizmOFheaven No, the kids come before the wife. Anyone who says otherwise has never had a wife and kids.
"Then I thought about it..."
Please don't try to think; you don't do it right.
doubtful, people who love their spouses more than their own dna are severely demented, shame youre even allowed to breed with that way of thinking. you sicken me
The same goes for dads too. After we divorced my children begged to live with me. The judge said “NO.” I had an education, career, and a stable life. She had affairs, a hateful attitude, and no desire to better herself. I was much more loving, more tolerant, and want my kids to be around me.
Yet they still feel obligated to love her and be there for her.
That's sad, cruel and NOT in the interests of the children, which is STATED as the PRIMARY objective.
I would sue the Judge for this, if able
I feel like women, men , and children should be loved equally: family is family
It should be exactly that way!
Yes!
The truth is in the difference between man and woman basic mentality. Man is ready to sacrifice his life for a wife and his child. Woman can sacrifice her life only for her child. It is not the egoism it is difference in our foundation.
Feelings changes nothing
No. Children should be prioritized, I can't believe that even has to be said lol
It’s all true. If a man wants to know unconditional love, he gets a dog. All other love he knows comes with conditions.
Facts!
That's why they're mans best friend.
Actually that's still on the condition of not only going and getting a dog but also then feeding it regularly
Mmm, maybe true for y'all but not for me. You go after shallow women you get conditional love, that simple.
@@nickcunningham6344you are adorable.
As a father i couldn't ever even imagine loving anyone in the world more than my children, unconditionally.
Right on. Me either.
Good. As you should
Awesome !
I totally agree.
It’s a different love it’s a different relationship
The worst it, the dad probably saw that as a massive compliment, not thinking beyond that he loves his wife and children.
What a brat, trying to make her parents complete for her.
@@youtubeuser5524 i dont think that was ever her intentions, or even eluded to it.
Except what’s most likely gonna happen is the girl’s gonna now try and seek love in a bunch of men who will only use her for sex and discard her once they get it because her dad didn’t know how to properly love her. Men love to point out how influential a father is in a young girl’s life but will refuse to pay attention to exactly what type of influence he is.
That's the first thing I thought of. It's a little bit creepy coming from an adult@@youtubeuser5524
@@youtubeuser5524 Nah. She’s right.
The real problem is the concept that you should even be quantifying love within a family to begin with.
When it comes to the people who are the closest to you (your wife, husband, or children), it's best just to let them know they are all loved equally but in different ways. It really hurts to be told that you are loved less by someone compared to someone else, so don't be an asshole and try to rank the most important people to you.
Even if you really do love someone less, don't let them know. Good way to mess up the relationship.
A voice of reason here. I thought this was something obvious that everyone knew and that it went without saying, but most people in this comment section don't seem to get this. They think there is a ranking. Sick.
for real all these people are sick in the head especially the person who posted this
Amen!
I kind of wonder if people are mixing up "love" with liking someone/ enjoying being around someone. There are family members I have shared interests with, that like to do the same things I do, so I enjoy hanging out with them more than with some other family members. That doesn't mean I love them less, it just means we have less in common.
Exactly, ranking family members based on how much you love them shouldn't even be something you are able to do. I used to not believe my mom when she said she didn't have a favorite child, but after becoming a mom I understand. You just love different people differently NOT any less. But if I have to pick I'm going to pick my child because they are defenseless, my husband is not.
My dad told me that too, said he chose to spend his life with her and we would create our own families so he would choose her - but it never meant he loved us less, if that makes sense. He was an amazing dad, and my mom loved him just as much.
You shouldn’t love anyone more than the other, wtf kinda logic is that?
If I was forced to choose I just wouldn’t choose and I’d let them both die or let myself die to save them.
You’re traditionally supposed to love your children more because they are literally a product of you. They will carry your legacy.
@@jalanmcrae children are not legacies
@@Danity56 agreed. Id just argue more that loving them unconditionally is the least any parent should do. Cus you brought them into the world. Didnt exactly have a choice in the matter. They are the products of their parents. If you arent prepared for that, dont be a parent. If you arent able to find your healthy balance before then, you run the risk of 'fucking around to find out' and then bam. Your kid grows up with emotional baggage and trauma. No parent is perfect but their is a line between a mistake and royally fucking up.
@@jalanmcraebut if your kids die, and you still have your wife you can just have more. If you lose your wife then it's gonna be harder to find another compatible mate then it will be to just create more children.
❤
I love myself unconditionally. I don’t know it yet but I’m getting myself a new corvette 🤫 I just love that guy
I try to remind my husband as frequently as I can that I'd rather live in a tent with him than in a house without him. I feel like men need that more.
Thank you for that. We need more women like you in the world.
I really don't believe you.
It's nice and easy to say that knowing you're going to crawl into a warm bed tonight.
It's another thing when bailiffs are knocking on your door and turfing you out.
Either way, he knows that you will have options and he doesn't really believe what you say.
@@HaggisMuncher-69-420i think you are speaking out of experience or micro-hatred towards woman. Because some women get obsessed with guys and would hack off their right arms for a guy
@@HaggisMuncher-69-420 had no idea you had so much insight into my husband, my life, and our eleven year relationship lmao
Thats so sweet of you to do.. Ive luckily always had relationships that were this way
I actually got relationship advice from my grandmother out of nowhere, and she told me that, you should love and trust you're partner just a bit more then your own kids, because kids are supposed to leave and go live their lives, but your partner is supposed to stay by your side no matter what, and when I told my mom that she said that's not true, but my grandparents have been together for 50 years, so....🤷🏻♀️
That's what I was thinking. You're here to help your kids grow and move on without you but a spouse is supposed to be with you forever.
Your grandmother is right. I think people are conflating loving more with protection. A husband and wife should love each other more than their kids, but should put the kids wellbeing first while they are raising them. After they have been raised, that shouldn't be the case either.
ya I hate to say it but in terms of the last generation's mothers... they give the advice they do because misery loves company. Your Grandma know more about love and commitment.
Your grandmother was right and if this is your moms mom your mother wasn't paying attention just saying 😅
And do they? No. Romantic relationships, even Marriages are conditional. The love you have for your child is unconditional. It's not about loving one or the other "more" it's that it's a completely different type of love.
Years ago I heard about a survey asking "What is the most important thing in your life?"
Most women: My children.
Most men: My family.
There is a huge difference in these two answers.
If most women nowadays were honest they wouldn't even answer with "my children".
They are always ready to replace their owner.
God, Husband, kids/kidinlaws, siblings/siblings spouses...
And I'm a woman.
@@GenDominionall of them??
Considering the habits of most modern men I would argue that women’s answer would be “My children” and most men’s answer would be “my job.”
My adoptive parents had a conversation about this when they had their first biological son.
My mom felt bad for thinking that she‘d protect my brother before protecting my dad but then my dad went „If we were ever under attack I would use my goddamn body as a human shield to protect you and our son but when I‘m caught in a situation in which I have to choose one or another, I‘d choose our son without hesitation. And I‘d expect of you to do the same. It‘s not that I don‘t love you as my soulmate, my wife and the mother of my children but it is our responsibility as parents to make sure our children are protected.“
For some reason that stuck with me ever since he said that.
There is a movie called The Road that is about an apocalyptic future. The reason for the destruction of society is never revealed and it really isn't the point of the movie. It's about a father traversing the wasteland with his son. People forget how society is built on rules that will not exist when survival becomes the law of the land. There is a scene in that movie that stuck with me the most, and I think about it every now and then.
The father and son have encountered one of the many gangs of individuals and cannibalism is how people survive. The father and son are hiding in the forest and the father has a single bullet for his gun. As the gang gets closer to their position the father holds the gun to his son's head, ready to take his son's life.
He would shoot his own child to spare him the existence of being enslaved and kept as livestock. He is outnumbered and outgunned. He has to make a choice for his son and he would take his son's life on his terms to spare him the horror. The father would surely be captured and not only endure his fate alone, but have to mourn his son as well.
It is a VERY thought provoking scene for a parent. That your love for your child could mean that you have to spare them an existence of horror by sacrificing their very existence and placing that horror on yourself!
I highly recommend that movie. It's hard to watch, but it brings to light what it means to be a parent and what parental love is.
@@TickleFingers very well said amazing movie but i dont want to see it a second time
And a woman would sacrifice her husband for a chicken nugget.
It's because he is right😊
Your dad got that one exactly right. The son of a friend of mine and his wife were going to have their first child. He raised the concern, "What if I don't have feelings of love for my daughter as soon as she's born?"
I said, "At that point, that is HER your job, not your." You are their PROTECTOR. Embrace that and everything will feel right. After a week or more, that will wear off when she looks at you and recognizes you."
Thats why men live dogs. They get that love unconditionally. You can lock them up and they are still happy to see you.
💯 I was married 12yrs. Had an amputation and she was cheating on me while I was in a rehab facility
@@samwhite414sorry man that sucks
i am a man, and don’t love dogs.
@@patrickcoyne1292 haha
@@patrickcoyne1292 if you’re a man that doesn’t love dogs then you’re a sociopathic creepy creeperton. You’re the guy that everyone in the neighborhood eyeballs when their pets go missing. Creepo
When I was a child I would fight with my mother. My father pulled me aside and clearly explained, that she is your mother and I am your father. But she is my wife and I will not allow anyone to disrespect my wife. This was one of my first memories of actually understanding someone else's perspective, and not just pretending to. A core memory that helped teach me how to turn of the ego. I feel the lack of this skill is the true tragedy of the modern society.
And he'll allow someone to disrespect his kids.
@@GLoLChibs this is either projection or assumption. No one said he would allow anyone to disrespect my siblings or myself. I weep for the children of today as they are not provided structure or healthy discipline and as a result have an unhealthy ego. To the point where we have a newly minted term "main character syndrome".
@ItsBugtronic It's neither. Parents aren't perfect, and when those teen years start and the inevitable arguments, that are a normal part of growing up, start, parents who put their spouse first are often the ones to never stand up for their kid and tell their spouse not to disrespect their kid when the spouse steps out of line. Which does happen. Those are often the same parents that often don't apologize to their kids and the ones who spout kids don't require respect because they're kids.
People need to stop ignoring the bad that comes with whatever stance they support.
Go browse online sites and pre-SM articles of how many widows and widowers either abandoned their existing kids or allow the new spouse to terrorize the kids for not accepting them as new mom/dad.
@@GLoLChibs I have far to much apathy to debate with someone who is clearly trying to treat all family experiences the same, and make assumptions that one person's sharing their experiences or way of learning means they think its the best way for everyone. Clearly this is a waste of time.
@ItsBugtronic And yet you are also doing the same. Funny how you advocate what you experience is the right and only way and the lack of it causes modern problems yet become dismissive when similar experiences produce opposite results.
Usually, the only woman who will love a man unconditionally, is a mother. Having said that, I think it is possible that a wife will love her husband unconditionally. My parents are have been married 50 years and my father has Alzheimer's. He's not wealthy and doesn't have much to offer in the worldly sense. But I know her love for him is real and genuine. It is rare to see that kind of love in today's narcissistic culture though.
Great is her reward in Heaven. A true queen. 🏰 👸🏻
Trust me...there are quite a few mothers who will have plenty of conditions for their sons to receive their love. That being said, best wishes to your parents.
My grandmother was the same way with my grandpa. Grateful to have witnessed true love
@@CalebTomaschefsky-UA-camA rare and dying breed in this age.
No no, listen to all the other men and women telling women have only conditional love it is true young man
My father told me this growing up. More than once. He said he didn’t love us as much as Mom because one day we would grow up and start families of our own and it would just be him and her. Now that it has become 100% reality and I have kids of my own I completely understand that.
But its so sad
@@Tomil4444Not really, it’s wise. Divorces after the kids leave the nest are extremely high. if one parent doesn’t make an effort to love the other. then when the kids leave, you are looking at this stranger you married 30 years ago. Divorce is next. besides it’s a different kind of love and i’m not saying that’s dads shouldn’t love their children. kids need to know that Daddy’s love their mother and won’t leave them and their mothers. stability.
I could only hope that a man will love my girls as much as I love their mother. Thats why Dads cry at daughter weddings, because they are the only ones who really understand what's happening.
@@captainlandyacht1328 man, that’s for sure.
@@alquinn3562its 100% a different kind of love I don't love my kids the way I love my husband. My husband is the most important person to me in the world he is my entire world. I also do love my kids so much my heart burst and I'd do anything for them. But my husband and our marriage it comes first and they are lucky to have him as a dad he's the best at everything he does.
But love isn't divided between people, its multiplied. People are allowed to love more than just one person unconditionally.
THIS
Romantic love and parent love is different.
This immature child has been in a few clips around the place. She scornful of men & snide/sarcastic. Def a lot of smirky bit¢h the way she smiles but not in a nice way. Other clips show this as well. Had to tell billions of people her Mom doesn't believe her father is everything to her, yet her Dad's clearly a mug here for thinking this. Remember her face lads. Particularly when she hits the wall in 10 yrs time & is no longer the smiling & smirking, smug little princess.
my hippie detector just went through the roof (and before you get awfendaaad, it's a joke, just laugh and move along)
The point is that men are not appreciated because they are taken for granted.
They are taken for granted to love their wives and kids but not the opposite
The game of “who do you love more” is toxic in itself. Love your family man.
Agree
Yeah, I’m not sure how anyone measures such things.
love your kids more, they are of your blood, the wife is not!
Like fucking honestly I always hated this conversation
THANK YOU 🙏🏾
Women don’t love their children “more” than their husbands, but it is a different kind of love. We carry them in our womb for 40 weeks, give birth to them and nurture them 24/7 for the rest of their lives.. it’s just a different kind of love. I love my children and husband with the same intensity.. with all my and soul.
Exactly. A lot of people are making comments about that with no actual experience. A parent doesn't love their kid in the same way as they love their partner and both parents love their kids in different ways because they had a different experience.
unconditional love
Nurture them 24/7 for the first 6 months*. Then it's less.
Mothers consider leaving there partners all the time even if they don’t. They would never leave there kids. Moms now definitely love there kids more now. And when there kids are gone and old all u will have left is the partner. Was there at the beginning and the end
Women dont love their husbands
My mom told me all the time (before she passed) that she loved my dad more than she loved herself 🤷🏽♀️ and my dad said he loved her more than anyone in the world including us and his parents
Wonderful parents!!
I love my husband mire than i love my kids. I always have. And i know he feels the same about me. What a sad way to grow old with someone if you don't love them more than you love anyone else.
That was a different era and it made more sense back then. In this day and age it's foolish to put a mate above a loving and trusted family member.
This girl looks like the old lady witch from rapunzel. Like she’s a spitting image of her.
@benstandard naw. I can trust my husband more than i can trust any of my family members. I love my family, do i think they will hurt me? No, not necessarily. But do i know that they have the best interest of me, my son and the life that we have built as much as my husband does? Absolutely not. My husband and i are partners in this life now, his good is my good and vice-versa. The families that we grew up with lost placement in our list of priorities once we created a family of our own to protect and cherish. To think about it simply as well, it depends on the bond you have in your marriage. Do you think you're gonna grow old and die with your siblings, parents, or your spouse? My answer is my husband, and of course, i expect my son will be holding my hand as i pass into the next life.
Wonder how people quantify love.
Is love one finite resource?
The love you have for each thing or person has a different quality.
I used to be that way...nearly destroyed my marriage. I needed to realize I am here to raise my children and send them on their way in life, but my husband is my partner. We are celebrating 18 years and starting new everyday to strengthen that bond.
That’s so cute
What about the other way? Your husband could divorce you or cheat....yes you send your children on their way but they will always be there. I work with the elderly and when their spouses are gone, guess who's there caring for them?? Their children!
@@ivanamendez478imagine living by what ifs, I’m sure your life is miserable
@ivanamendez478 All she's saying is she realized she still needed to love and cherish her husband during the process? New parents seem like struggle the most as the mother tends to focus soley on the newborns and the fathers who are new to parenting dont realize yet and tend to feel neglected and forgotten causing more arguments and stress to the mom
@@ivanamendez478yeah, these people are twisted. Loving your spouse more than your child is INSANE. I genuinely feel.bad for any child that has a parent like this.
My mom always said to me, once you become a mother you will always be a mother. You will not always be a wife so you must take care of both relationships.
Well, if you die before your husband, then you were always his wife.
HA joke's on you, my husband died and I still have my kids
@@CM-fw6hzthat just proves her point more
@@CM-fw6hzYou kinda proved the point 😅
Not feeling that one. Once our children are grown and married with children of their, which mine are, then what? Your children are meant to leave you. I married my wife for life.
I’d rather pay a stranger to pretend to love me unconditionally for an hour or two, than pay someone I fell in love with to neglect me.
Make no mistake, the children are the only ones who are entitled to be loved unconditionally. If your wife cheated on you suddenly she's not loved unconditionally. If your wife was stealing from you, if she was lying to you, ect those are conditions. Much like women shouldn't have to put up with men doing the same thing. Do not pretend like women are loved unconditionally, because y'all don't do anything except talk trash about single mothers, and bash women who have careers.
@@ashleydodd9145 Your misinterpretation of unconditional love seems to assume that if a person is loved unconditionally, that love cannot be lost. Nothing further from the truth.
Unconditional love means that you don't need to do anything to gain it i. e. there is no condition that needs to be fulfilled in order for that person to love you. That does not mean there is no condition for you to lose it.
Also, please don't generalise people with the southern "y'all". I for one don't bash a single mothers if they became such due to a man's abuse or his death. I will bash one who became a single mother because "she need no man" or "her husband bored her", or "I don't love my man no more" because at that point she'd be making a selfish decision with no concern for the child's wellbeing.
As for women with careers, I don't bash those either, but I find it funny how they are glorifying careers. Especially if at some point they abandon them to look for men that have already been picked by women that choose family over careers.
Thats called a hostess bar or something, very popular in japan for lonely men and women :)
@@ashleydodd9145 Can you prove that you are evenhanded and unbiased in your conclusions?
I’m betting that you can’t.
You couldn’t even keep yourself from putting words in my mouth.
Get some help. I did. ✌🏼
@@smurfmianz4527 Yeah. Plenty of stories from sex workers in NA about men who just want a woman to hang out with for a bit, no expectations, no small print, no risk of being dragged.
The love I have for my husband is different to the one I have for our children. I love him unconditionally and our kids. ❤
Exactly because it's two different types of love. In Greek there seven different words for love each meaning a different type. I love my partner in a completely different way than I love my children. It's not more or less it's just different.
@@Sade47 This. I really didn't agree with OP's opinion, and you perfectly explained why.
But in your eyes the kids come first right?...Thats pretty standard for Moms.
Nah she's was right..women can never love their husbands Unconditionally (Most can barely respect men properly)..tsk...@@rubarbwantstodrawhands
@@shadowbanned5164 No, not for me. They come before me, yes, but not before my husband. Now in terms of abuse it is my place as Mom to protect them at all costs. However, I serve my husband's plate first, then the kids unless they get up and get it themselves. I sit down last. My marriage being healthy comes before my kids because they need to see a healthy, stable, and loving marriage. The love I have for my husband is a different kind of love than I have for my kids though both are unconditional.
I once asked my mom if she loves me and my sisters or my dad more and she told me that it's a different kind of love, she loves my dad romantically of course, and she loves us like her children. Love isn't a scale, or a rating.
It can be lol
Do you have children? If not, let me explain that, as a mother, you would literally die for them. There is a different and unique kind of love for them. You protect them, literally are their only source of nutrition when they are first born and you carry them for 40 or so weeks in your body. It’s a deep rooted, love that’s unmeasurable.
@@mollyeckert8658 Do you think it's different for men?
[Good] men will literally give their lives without second thought to protect and provide for their wife and children.
Also, a mother is not the *only* source of nutrition for newborns; there is formula and you can use another woman's breast milk.
@@WblutSundAehre This is kind of downplaying no? I’m speaking of the last thing you said in particular.
@ravenrich1369 no it isn't downplaying it is factually correct.
The person I replied to claimed mothers "literally are their only source of nutrition when they are first born" which is factually incorrect.
Many women are unable to breastfeed, and many others choose not to breastfeed; their children must still receive nutrition.
In todays world, that often means formula, prior to formula, it entailed using another woman's breast milk (a wet nurse).
My love for my wife is different from how I love my son. The thing that makes me smile, is to see them smile.
It’s an unfortunate reality that I am not the most important person in my own life but, my children’s mother is the most important person in her own life.
Sad reality . Smh
Hey man mother of mine too... she just makes life out to be one big inconvenience
That is sad business, but very often the truth.
If a woman were to say this and the tables were flipped, her friends would be berating her to leave you and would have all the support in the world. You just, “have to deal with it” and it’s a “sad reality” for you. I left the mom of my child because of stuff like this and I was plastered all over FB about it. Now things are great and we get along better than ever before and we stay out of each others business. And the child always comes first and especially around this time of year.
Btw this comment is not hostile. Just a heads up. Nobody come at me I am sympathizing with this gentleman.
@@FreedomMaster-SteveI agree with this, aside from the part where you say children come first. This is my interpretation of that, so please correct me if I'm misreading:
As a caveat, you should not stay with a partner, just for the sake of the children. It's better to come from a broken home, than to live in one.
Married with two kids. LOVE my kids. Would die for my kids. I love their mother the most.
Bro not trying be mean but them kids are more important than that woman she can replace you any day of the week but your children are blood
@@joshuamiller2523 Joshua. Sir. Find yourself a good woman to love.
@@JazCue90 it's hard in this time and thank you
This fact about women's nature is the biggest underlying reason why my interest in pursuing a woman relationally has completely died.
Women genuinely don't care about what the people around them want out of life. They can act and say things, but they don't actually care. Falling in love is a waste of time and energy. Find someone who will help you provide for your kids. Once the kids are grown, figure it out. I am not a giving person anymore. I take what I have to in order to provide for my kids. That's all that matters. Part of me feels bad for the woman I'm with now. But that part of me is not loud enough to overshadow logic. My ex wife choked the life out of the old me. She never cared about anything I wanted, never worked, had me working 3 jobs for YEARS, paying everything, supporting her drug addiction, barely making it because of her while I wasted my life, ruined my credit, and wound up with nothing. I didn't even get to enjoy the drugs. I was sober until the last like year and a half of our 9 year relationship. She destroyed my ambition and will to fight and then left, taking my kids and my money with her. Still taking my money. Then when I tried again, because I needed help to support my kids, like 2 years in my new girl stopped doing anything. Stopped cleaning the house, spending time with me and the kids as a family, taking care of herself or anything else, she barely even talks to her own son, my step son. She just stares at screens all day. That's when I realized no woman is important enough to put above my kids. My mom was shit, my ex wife was shit, my girlfriend is shit. IDK one woman in my life that I would consider worth a damn thing. Tho I've known many men who put their mind, body, and soul on the line to live a good life and provide for their family. Women are a joke, only good for getting government benefits IF EVEN THAT, and getting laid. If you can get one to work, they are good for (part of) a paycheck. Nothing else. Your kids are more important.
As a Dad , You can't compare the love of a child to a spouse. It's different but equal.
separate but equal huh lol
I dunno if I'd say it's equal.
Losing my wife would be devastating but I can't think of something worse than losing my kid.
Agreed
@@LeiRaion exactly
As a Dad, I would disagree. If you only had enough money to get your grown son/daughter or your wife out of jail which one are you bailing out first? And you can't "phone a friend" or get outside help.
Love how people love airing their drama online and yet in the same breath tell the world to leave them alone.
No fear behind a screen. Yet so much fear and anxiety outside the screen and real life
❤God. Wife. Kids. Parents. Siblings. Nieces & Nephews. ❤ Simple.
My husband and I love each other very much, but we both know and agree that we love our kids more, and we're ok with that!
Yeah but like that's how it's supposed to be like
@@caleidozkopie8344 actually.... it is not.
@@Agnarian yes it is and if you feel otherwise you need to evaluate some things 💀
@@Agnarianso if you think that way, I suppose you’d choose to save your wife instead of your kids in a house fire?
how do you know he's not just agreeing with you because he secretly loves you more than he loves your kids.
My dad only said "your mom was here before you kids were" they've been married for 40 years and still act like teenagers in love. I hope to have that kind of relationship/marriage one day. They're amazing ❤
The best thing you can do for your children is to love your spouse well. This will give them a great sense of security as well as model behaviors of a healthy marriage.
We're not talking about "loving your spouse as well", we're talking about loving your spouse more than your kids. Which is unhinged as hell.
Just came here to say this. Thank you!!!
The best thing you can do for children in this world is not have them. 😂
@@javongrey7462you don’t have kids.
@@javongrey7462 Tell that to Africa.
I love my husband and my kids unconditionally.
Someone once said “the tragedy of life is that men love women, women love children and children love animals. “
I don’t see this as a tragedy… this is a beautiful balance of creation
It's not balanced at all
Women don't even love children. Hell, they aren't all that fond of themselves, for that matter. They're real life fae, concerned only with their own entertainment to the point of awe inspiring cruelty to everyone and everything around themselves.
@@chulito1981357 it’s always balanced we wouldn’t be floating on this ball of rock so perfectly if it wasnt
So men don't love their kids or pets?? BS.
Mike Tyson once said, “ the difference between your wife and your mother is, your mother is absolutely committed to your survival. Your wife is committed to her survival.” This is because she is committed to her own children’s survival because their survival depends upon her survival.
We men discover this later but we know it is true. She will die for them, but not for you.
that's how good parents should be
Said as if one parent is more capable of providing and protecting the children than the other. In a survival scenario where it mattered I would much rather have my father at my back than my mother.
@trishna_6815 nah not really
Nah, my mom once said otherwise and the reasoning was that they were and will stay together forever..
And good male parents should be the same. Women have been saying forever that there's a different connection between fathers and mothers and their children and apparently many men are happy to admit it as long as it makes them look like poor buggers who don't get unconditional love etc.
It's a primal thing. It took me 47 years to learn that I need reciprocation for my mental health. If I can't be loved back the way I love you, what am I doing to myself? My kids love me. They love me without me breaking the bank. They don't ask me for anything but emotional support. I'm the preferred parent in both households. I won't accept anything less than what I give, and I don't ask for more than I deserve. It's up to us men to change the narrative.
Absolutely
Agree 💯
I once had a close female family member tell me, “men should never have expectations”. I then realized why so many men are in the position they are in, and how much people do to prove themselves to other people, validate themselves, and fulfill perceived masculine lack.
Women will call you gay for seeking reciprocation, and it makes me question what the motive is of these women, a 1/3 relationship until we break up? I spent $40 dollars on lunch for just myself yesterday then thanked myself I’m not dating 😂
what’s masculine should also add up logically
More.Common sense dating advice who just got engaged at Christmas. That Baby Anchor Advice really works!
As Michael Scott said to Dwight
"it's not a matter of more or less, it's just different"