Choosing Your Friend Group As An Adult

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  • Опубліковано 1 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 169

  • @sophianachtigall3598
    @sophianachtigall3598 Рік тому +120

    FINALLY! Finally someone who says that it is a good thing to be a best friend with a husband and children. Finally someone who is not suggesting that female friendships are the most important for a woman. THANK YOU!

    • @lauraneaves6912
      @lauraneaves6912 Рік тому +5

      Amen!!!

    • @ModernSouthernBelle
      @ModernSouthernBelle Рік тому +4

      I agree! 💯💯💯

    • @alikruger6030
      @alikruger6030 Рік тому +13

      So refreshing ! I would rather be with my husband and my adult kids too. My friends are always planning girl,trip. I'm sorry to tell them my huz is my best friend after 31 years.

    • @justme...3886
      @justme...3886 Рік тому +2

      Traci keeps it funky. Love it

    • @ajohonly3721
      @ajohonly3721 Рік тому +3

      Absolutely agree.

  • @saraheck7898
    @saraheck7898 Рік тому +2

    This is by far my favorite video of Tracy's. Some of us are naturally more introverted and become drained easily. Prioritizing our family first, knowing how we want to spend our free time, and placing value on the relationships we hold dear is a choice. As Tracy mentioned, paying attention to the dynamics of the group is a valuable lesson I wish I would've learned much earlier in life. Also, being aware that the acquaintances/friendships we develop in a workplace setting have different pros and cons than meeting in a non-work setting. Thank you, Tracy 😊

  • @ArtistBarbaraAnnKenney
    @ArtistBarbaraAnnKenney Рік тому +15

    God is showing me that my husband is hands down my best friend. My circle of friends are wonderful but my husband is always there for me. Great topic.

  • @idamantashi8529
    @idamantashi8529 Рік тому +15

    My sister is like this. She lives for her friends. I am very different. I prefer to spend the time on myself improvements. Read and journal and work out. We are just so different. I agree; nothing is wrong with either of us; we are just who we are.

  • @leahblue6917
    @leahblue6917 Рік тому +3

    As always, excellent, practical, real and valuable advice. I have many roles in my life that take up a lot of my personal energy and time. We cannot do and be it all to everyone.

  • @herworldkk
    @herworldkk Рік тому +17

    One of the best things I've ever done was to learn to let people and relationships be for a particular time without guilt.

  • @luzloveslife
    @luzloveslife Рік тому +29

    Thank you for this. I’m realizing I don’t have any close friends. Those seasons have ended, and that’s ok. Im going through a lot of changes in my life. A new season is coming. I will keep your advice in mind when developing new friendships.

    • @12dd4ds9
      @12dd4ds9 8 місяців тому

      You must be ending "those seasons" of having friendships, yourself.

    • @luzloveslife
      @luzloveslife 8 місяців тому

      @@12dd4ds9 some ended by me, some by the other person’s

  • @toririch9401
    @toririch9401 Рік тому +27

    I so much needed this conversation. I was feeling guilty pulling away from old groups. This made my day, so much clarity. Spot on! 😊

  • @12dd4ds9
    @12dd4ds9 8 місяців тому +1

    Balance in everything. My new circle: recently retired women friends, most new in the area, most living alone. Wonderful, career women, intelligent, financially secure and trustworthy ! We've paired up for checking in, those living close. We host get-togethers in our homes; I'm having a great time getting to know my true peers ! Most are widowed, some single by choice, etc. We meet in person, actually speak on the phone and have found great value in them. Yes, there is one, that talks exclusively about herself and I never thought that possible for hours on end, if we allow her to 🥴

  • @Bloome_
    @Bloome_ Рік тому +12

    I have just entered a season of my life where I became part of a ready made friendship circle with several other woman over a shared life changing experience. As we’ve gotten to know each other on a weekly basis there is one clear ring leader. She has many redeeming qualities but can be over powering with her views. I identified that fairly early on and asked myself ‘did I want this?’ like Tracy suggested in this video. The answer was yes I did, but under certain conditions. If we were just meeting up for coffee and chit chat then no, because the conversation would quickly drain me and sometimes even turn negative/ catty. But if we were meeting up to do an activity then yes! Because the activity wouldn’t let the conversation turn sour, and I would get the benefit of this community of women. I think this is me “staying in my lane” as Tracy would say, and only letting the situation serve me and my goals. Anyway, thank you Tracy! ❤

    • @TracyHensel
      @TracyHensel  Рік тому +2

      Wow, this is such a powerful message. I truly appreciate you taking the time to hare. I hope many women get the pleasure of reading your story, as it's so relatable and a great testament to staying in your lane and knowing your boundaries. Thank you.

  • @seaglasscolor
    @seaglasscolor Рік тому +10

    I wish I could give this video message two likes! Thank you, Tracy, for addressing a delicate and important topic! Very helpful indeed, especially in today’s fast-paced world.

  • @amyhilger2919
    @amyhilger2919 Рік тому +21

    Ah Tracy, you nailed it!! From all the comments, it’s evident how big an issue this can be for so many women. Thank you for putting into words & validating what many of us are going through. You are a gem; thank you!! ❤❤❤

    • @TracyHensel
      @TracyHensel  Рік тому +3

      Thank you, Amy. I appreciate you taking the time to leave such lovely and supportive comments.

  • @eleonoragf2737
    @eleonoragf2737 Рік тому +5

    You should have 3 million subscribers! You are the wisest woman out there ❤

  • @kristasmith3692
    @kristasmith3692 Рік тому +10

    Thank you so much for sharing this!! I’ve always felt very close to my husband and my children and have been content with it being just us but people make it like you need all kinds of outside people beyond your family. I am a major introvert anyway so going beyond my family is very uncomfortable for me and I find my family very enjoyable, so thank you so much for sharing this.

  • @linnybee8000
    @linnybee8000 Рік тому +1

    Tracy, I want to thank you for telling us that it's okay to not have lifelong close friends. While I have a friend since 3rd grade whom I keep in contact with, we aren't close friends anymore. We get together once every year or two. I'm no longer friends with other grade school, high school or college friends. I've always felt bad about that and longed for longer friendships when I read books or see movies or television shows where the main characters are lifelong friends. You've freed me from that feeling. Thank you.
    I made two new friends almost a year ago. They live in the same 55 and older complex I do and we've become a threesome. One of the women has the bipolar disorder that I have. I've become closer to her than I've ever been to anyone. I cherish her friendship and she mine. We are blessed.
    xo~linda

  • @fairysoulz4903
    @fairysoulz4903 Рік тому +2

    You always hit home. This is exactly what's going on in my life right now. I am in a season where I would like to have friends but don't have a lot of time and energy for it right now. I have two teens who love their sports, I run my own business and manage the household. What I needed to hear was that it's ok to not have that in my life right now. And if we are being honest here I would rather do things with my husband or kiddos when they are not busy. Life is just too short to not pit my time where I see value. Thanks Tracy. As always.

  • @MsActor2009
    @MsActor2009 Рік тому +5

    I used to enjoy the BFF 👯‍♀️ dynamic when I was younger, now I think it can be a recipe for codependency and comes with a lot of responsibility! I enjoy diversifying my friends. Avoids drama if I clash with someone in the group. I have a highly individualistic personality, so I need to occasionally have time with friends to feel like I have a life outside of my relationship.

  • @IrashiAkane
    @IrashiAkane Рік тому +1

    I love that you tell it like it is without any negative judgments. I am in a season in my life with very young children who need my constant attention. I started feeling bad that I was barely putting any effort into my friendships, and it got harder to connect with them because they don't have kids. No bad blood, just that we have different lifestyles.

  • @marysemenard7945
    @marysemenard7945 Рік тому +7

    THANK YOU 🙏 You express so well what I constantly try to justify to myself. I do not have time to devote to friendship and my husband is my rock and best friend. We are struggling to find time alone and away from the everyday duties. I always feel like I am missing something when I listen to the noise of the society. You explain so well as usual.

  • @evaistheway
    @evaistheway Рік тому +5

    It’s important to understand that someone like Tracy might have some needs fulfilled from their job because it allows an emotional connection and trust to take place given her role as a coach. Of course this variable comes after family.
    I’m a lawyer and have always found myself not needing to form friendships or be in groups and realised that the trust my clients put in me and my ability to help them haves fulfilled my need to establish meaningful connections, even if they’re short-term.

    • @MsActor2009
      @MsActor2009 Рік тому

      Hi Dominique,
      There are contacts, good acquaintances, casual friends, good friends and best friends. I meet a lot of people through my work, too.
      Best friends are like family, but there can be a lot of over- emeshment with each other’s lives. I like casual/flexible friendships now. We know each other, but we don’t have to know everything about each other. We don’t owe each other much.

  • @justnayify
    @justnayify Рік тому +9

    This is my season right now. And I feel so guilty. I only have a few friends but have 3 kids, a husband and work. My twins are potty training and my oldest is in travel soccer. I love my friends and luckily they understand that sometimes I'm so exhausted. They live farther away. They make an effort to stay connected and I really appreciate it. I love how frank you are in describing this as I have met a neighbor friend who also has a similar dynamic. I'm kind but I have also resisted joining "circles" sometimes I feel alone but I can't keep up with the demands.

  • @diannew3512
    @diannew3512 Рік тому +1

    I needed this video! I've had similar thoughts myself. I'm 25 and when my husband and I got married, my view of female friendships changed rapidly.
    I lost a few friends around the time we got married but I realized that my husband was the friend I always needed. We want a bigger family like you have and I always think about how important it is to protect what we are building together. It's hard to do that when you let everyone in or give up too much attention to other's situations. I pray that we have a close family and friend group one day 🙏🏾
    Thank you for your wisdom!

  • @jentorchh
    @jentorchh Рік тому +1

    I’m finally coming to terms listening/watching this video. Amazing, valuable information as always. Many blessings to you, Tracy and family!

  • @MiaAnstine
    @MiaAnstine Рік тому +8

    Great video, Tracy. Isn’t it wonderful that we can meet and marry a man who becomes our best friend? It is also a great thing to raise our children with respect and discipline, and then be best friends when they are adults.

  • @sassysandie2865
    @sassysandie2865 10 місяців тому +1

    “You’re the average of the 5 people you surround yourself,” comes to mind. (Jim Rohn, motivational speaker.)
    Sorry I’m making so many comments throughout on this video but it really resonated with me!

  • @kimkolimas6818
    @kimkolimas6818 Рік тому +1

    Thank you Tracy
    I’m a recent widow after 28 yrs of marriage
    I’m completely in a new season in every way.
    Our couple friendships have changed
    Our best friends who we traveled with for 20 yrs 3-4x a year (!) the dynamic has completely changed
    Over the past several years we have not been on the same page in what I consider important
    They would continually tell me don’t be sad about losing my husband he’s in a better place or even question my faith (ouch)
    I know he is in a better place but I’m not. Anyway.. I’m am amazed how God has brought new friendship of fabulous girlfriends in my life
    For such a time as this
    So I agree with you Seasons of life
    I admire you

    • @TracyHensel
      @TracyHensel  Рік тому +1

      Hello Kim! I am sorry to hear about your loss and how your friends showed up following your husband's death. Thank you for sharing what you witnessed and how you handled it as you embarked on a new life. God had a different plan and has blessed you with new friendships that serve you much better. Celebrate that win!
      Even those who don't experience such a significant life transition find in mid-life that the friends who once served them no longer do. That's the price you pay when you grow as a person. Your values and goals change, and you risk growing out of friendships that don't compliment the new and better you.

  • @dradicicorina3090
    @dradicicorina3090 Рік тому +4

    Perfect timing, dear Tracy! Mom of 5 here, felling a little left out...

  • @margokerby1533
    @margokerby1533 Рік тому +5

    Sometimes if we have been rejected/scapegoated by our own family, we think we need to replace them with friends. However, no one can replace a mother, a father, brothers, or sisters. Great topic, Tracy. Thank you.

    • @freeandfabulous4310
      @freeandfabulous4310 Рік тому +2

      Agree. Scapegoating does a number on self evaluation. Takes a lot of work to grow from and understand that type of abuse. I’m working on that as well!

  • @ajohonly3721
    @ajohonly3721 Рік тому +7

    I outgrown lots of female friends and I’m lonely at times but!
    honestly I’m growing nicely and hopefully will find people who are also growing 🤞
    If not is also ok but not dealing with one sided friendships And stagnant people no!
    I’m busy with getting my mind /money /health /marriage and kids right.
    No time to waste on unimportant issues looking for friends.

  • @roni-co5ng
    @roni-co5ng Рік тому +1

    Oh my gosh, Tracy!!! I’m learning so much from you! I appreciate you and your coaching videos. I love the negotiable and non-negotiables you mentioned. Really great topic!

  • @beckyp9775
    @beckyp9775 Рік тому +6

    Excellent video! You said it; and I felt peace 🙏😊 just wish my husband would be on board 😕 he pushes me to be in the so called friends group! Argh… the drama, the drinking, the making fun of others! It’s painful! But… you just gave me peace🥰 I’m grateful that I’m extremely close with my children and their spouses! Keep making these wonderful videos! ❤

  • @1960genius
    @1960genius Рік тому +1

    Tracy! You knocked it out of the park AGAIN! Like you mentioned, society talks so much about the importance of having and cultivating friendships! I bought into it even though my friend circle is very small! I enjoy the company of my partner, and my sisters and brothers, my Father and Stepmom! I sincerely don’t have time for more people in my life. It’s too much work for one thing. Thank you so much Tracy!!❤

  • @nataliekaye2423
    @nataliekaye2423 Рік тому +3

    Brilliant messages in this video Tracy. My husband is my best friend and that’s where I choose to devote most of my free time as well as my young adult children. Society and social media definitely often makes me feel like the odd one out. Luckily I am confident enough to do what truely makes me happy.

  • @JessicaMillerNashville
    @JessicaMillerNashville Рік тому +3

    Thank you for this! It is the very best video and advice on friends I've seen yet. My husband is my best friend and I do not like to leave him to go be with a girl group on night's and weekends. Crazy but true!

  • @sherryjacobs3907
    @sherryjacobs3907 Рік тому +2

    I have 48 year, 41 year, 38 year, 32 year, 26 year, 8 year and 3 year friendships. What I love most about my friends, besides being wonderful mothers and humans, is no one ever gets upset or angry if someone can't make a luncheon or forgot the Christmas card, or their kids' birthday. We all have busy lives. We're spread out from Maryland, Virginia, Georgia and the Florida panhandle but keep the connection. My sisters are my first and best friends, even 5 states away. I agree that just like seasons changing, so do people. Enjoy those friendships and cherish your others.

    • @TracyHensel
      @TracyHensel  Рік тому

      What a blessing. Thank you for sharing.

  • @kimmicannon5629
    @kimmicannon5629 Рік тому +1

    This was an amazing project put together. I wish you could sit so many women down and discuss this. Men don’t entirely seem to have to deal with this but we women, however, at some point, do. I’ve had to change up friend groups several times, due to the time span, I was going through with my family at the time. From when the children were teenagers, athletes, going to college, headed to graduate school, etc… and then hubby and I becoming empty-nesters. These areas of life, all at some point, incurred different circles of acquaintances and I’m so glad I knew this information and how to handle it. Thank you for sharing with others. There should be no guilt trip about seasonal friends. I too, enjoy my family over spending exuberant amounts of time with others. Just on special occasions. Thanks Diva T!

  • @klawony
    @klawony Рік тому +2

    Wow! Tracy, you nailed it with the friends group! 👏 bravo! There is so much insight in this video.

  • @debbietalish2968
    @debbietalish2968 Рік тому +4

    Hi Tracy! This was an excellent topic! I have always felt that many friendships are only for different seasons in life. Also, if someone “ghosts” you, it’s usually about them and it’s time to move on. Thanks again for a great video!! 😘

  • @dianecaird1697
    @dianecaird1697 Рік тому +3

    Tracy, this hit home in so many areas for me. Right now, my season is full with children/grandchildren and husband, although, if I could find the right connection with a female friend, I would be willing to give it a try. The key is the right connection. Great topic, thank you !

  • @kimchikimchi1251
    @kimchikimchi1251 Рік тому +2

    I recently joined a wonderful church and they are requesting me to do a lot of events outside of Sunday service. I had to have a difficult conversation and let them the amount of time I could realistically dedicate to the church and I’ve had a much better experience since then.

  • @maueenali8056
    @maueenali8056 Рік тому +1

    Thank you- for stating that growing out of friendships is not a bad thing and sometimes inevitable - we are all growing and changing and our circles will reflect that-i have felt a burden lift when i have allowed myself to grow out of a friendship and realize things have changed and I have to detach- no one's fault, no guilt , no blame- it's just growth. I am struggling with a relative's spouse who is/was a good friend but i have grown so far apart from them and their values- i am working on gently and kindly distancing myself. It is tricky but i am working my way through- thank you Tracy XX

  • @katrinaabichet3304
    @katrinaabichet3304 11 місяців тому +1

    Moral of the video: You are who you surround yourself with. Surround yourself with peole that will lift you up, support you, and help you grow to be better. If you don't surround yourself with the right people it'll cause so many problems for you.

    • @12dd4ds9
      @12dd4ds9 8 місяців тому

      Quality relationship only 😃

  • @paulab.4848
    @paulab.4848 Рік тому +2

    What a timely video! Thank you so much for sharing your personal situation. I am in that same boat and you just validated that it’s okay. 😭 I’ve been beating myself up about not investing & prioritizing time maintaining friendships, especially when I have a sister-in-law that gets invited to parties and gatherings almost on the daily. Made me re-think what I’ve got going on. With a husband for a best friend, 4 adult kids we enjoy spending time with, along w a 2 yr. old grandson we soak up every extra moment with-I’m good!

  • @marylouiseevans9899
    @marylouiseevans9899 Рік тому +1

    WOW!!! I love this video. We need to hear this kind of TRUTH. My husband is so much my best friend and we just enjoy each other so much and we always travel with our children not friend groups but people look at close couples like we are weird. I just look at it as everyone is different and need different things in their lives. Thank you for this video ❤

  • @MsActor2009
    @MsActor2009 Рік тому +2

    Not always about “ always people not having a quality relationship with their spouse in the friendship way”.
    Some people do not like being joined at the hip with their partner all the time. They enjoy a little bit of space and individuality. I’ve seen a lot of women get a lot their confidence and identity through their husband, especially in suburban areas. They can be anxiously attached to what’s going on with the husband all the time, because their survival depends on him. They have never worked a full time job and have been married from a young age. They have been picked on by other women before, so they feel safer being next to their husband.
    But I also know, some people just absolutely love doing everything with their spouse and have a big family, so they don’t have time for one-on-on time with friends or girl groups.

  • @freeandfabulous4310
    @freeandfabulous4310 Рік тому +1

    So fascinating! I hear that your big family meets a lot of your companionship needs! So wonderful! I also hear from the comments that high quality friendships are a challenge and hard to come by. This is the season I am in. I could not figure out what was happening. I think there is a lot of cultural drama right now and I don’t fit that drama. Having a hard time finding my place now. Friends are moving for grandchildren etc. I also never understood being able to remain friends with high school or even college people. I have grown and changed and had experiences and beliefs so different from high school that would never match who I was in high school. Lastly, I agree those who need large numbers of people around them is loften about alcohol or some insecure need. Agree, those with a ton of people around including large families have and do put up with a lot of often very bad behavior that I’m not willing to expose myself or my children to. You’re a gem, thank you for your wisdom! I’m in a season where I don’t seem to be connecting with friends at this stage so I’m focusing on personal development . Going out of my comfort zone and creating new goals and learning new skills!

  • @_linlin_
    @_linlin_ Рік тому +24

    I am a young adult 20 and friendships honestly confuse me! My mother has a hard take on friendships that are kinda extreme and I want to find the balance in that area. I want to know how to classify people I meet on the friendship scale. I have never had a "friend for life" even if I desired one so desperately because it was popularized in the media, I had seasonal friends - I outgrow them or the opposite and we go our separate ways. (it hurt me a lot regardless) Now I see this is normal and even healthy. Sad that I have given chances to some questionable beings out of desperation and kept up with a lot of bs.

  • @freddythefrog7379
    @freddythefrog7379 Рік тому +1

    First off, I totally agree with what you stated, Tracy !! I've never been big on multiple friendships let alone group friendships. I was utmostly exclusive for the better part or my life and some people reflect on that as being a negative trait versus being all out having relationships with whoever comes up their way, only to end up being or feeling mistreated. You have to make a choice, and as you very well expressed it, that choice is totally up to you and according to your values, your ability to share, your interests in that season of your life. For me, being part or a group can compromise your serenity, your sanity and even your mariage for some. It makes you lose your independance, your freedom which go as a pair.
    I'll chime in on individual friendships as well, being the ones I favor: these have to serve you a hundred percent, and if they don't, they're not worth staying involved with. In my early 20's, I'd befriended a young woman my age but the relationships stopped short about a year later after I got married because I devoted more of my time to my husband and that person felt rejected, and became downright mean...It was painful and I had to let go of that toxic "friend". The second time around, as I befriended another female acquaintance in my 30's and 40's, as we both were raising our kids about the same age and first attending the same school, her overall demeanor changed when I happened to expect my 3rd baby and she would, to her discontent, stay with only 2. We still deemed ourselves friends for many years to come but this and plenty of other ill-attitudes planted the seeds for estrangement and eventually the need to part. This goes to say that friends come and go and, yes, Tracy ! Well said : it is ok and even truthfully a blessing because these relationships make you evolve and when you've reached a plateau, they cave in and leave room for another season of your life !!
    Thank you Tracy for sharing these unpopular yet so true perspectives on friendships and more...I've intensely been following you since I came across your videos in January 2019 and have added along your Instagram stories when you decided to regularly post these. I religiously listen and watch each one of them daily, relishing in your precious advice and encouragement...also comforting myself with what I find is similar with my overall mindset.
    Keep on the great work Tracy...XOXO from France !!

  • @andreaweston5404
    @andreaweston5404 Рік тому +1

    It's so funny that this video just popped up for me, today. I literally just heard my only life long friend, who moved out of state a few years ago, was recently in town and didn't reach out to me at all. That really makes me want to make more friends who are closer. Thanks for this topic!

  • @kimcoburn9798
    @kimcoburn9798 Рік тому +1

    Very wise approach, thank you, Tracy! As a wife, daughter of a widowed mom, mother of 4 grown & married children, and involved grandma of 6 (12 and under); honestly I only have time for one close friend (who was recently widowed and we work together at our church ladies ministry), I feel relieved after listening to your very well stated and sensible words.

  • @lauraneaves6912
    @lauraneaves6912 Рік тому +8

    Tracy, I used to work with a lady in her 50s who would always say she needed to invest or "keep her friends around" because if and when her husband died, then the friends would remain. I always thought that was weird and negative. I love hanging out with my husband too, and we often don't get enough time together as is. Thank you for normalizing that we are in different seasons and it's okay to not have all things work, all the time. I don't want to have a scarcity mindset in regards to friends. I have a few that I greatly value. It's definitely hard to find great friends as an older adult. I try to be one of them! Thank you for this video!💜

    • @TracyHensel
      @TracyHensel  Рік тому +3

      Thank you for sharing, Laura. I always enjoy your wise input. It makes complete sense that cultivating close relationships can possibly fill a void, in the unfortunate event one loses their spouse or partner. If the one at loss is close with their adult children and grandchildren, that may be where they choose to put their time. All relationships require time from us. Who we give our time to will be different for everyone depending on where they get their tank filled.

    • @lauraneaves6912
      @lauraneaves6912 Рік тому +1

      @@TracyHensel yes agreed! Appreciate you Tracy ! 💜💜

    • @denisej2340
      @denisej2340 Рік тому +1

      I think your former colleague is being a realist. It’s unpleasant to think about it, so easy to dismiss as someone just being negative, but mortality is part of life and can occur at any time. We all make choices in life and if you’ve invested no to little time in developing friendships, the loss of a spouse can be even more devastating. “Friends” you neglected for years may not feel good about your only making space for them following the void of a loss. I wouldn’t.

  • @LuluMacaroni
    @LuluMacaroni Рік тому +3

    Yep, unfortunately as a single female my friendships don’t last long because once they start dating someone seriously the friendship can’t survive.

  • @jeannfav2921
    @jeannfav2921 Рік тому +1

    Excellent video Tracy.
    My husband and I don't have kids. We each have several friends, and we also get together about once every 3 months with a couple . Over the years, I've decided it's alright as we don't have the need to do a lot with friends. We are both homebodies and enjoy our dogs. I'm in my mid 60's and my husband is in his late 60's.
    Thank you.
    D. Jeanne

  • @shanique9220
    @shanique9220 Рік тому +1

    🎉🎉🎉 my lovely mentor here

  • @kimberleysingleton4449
    @kimberleysingleton4449 Рік тому +4

    This was absolutely an awesome and so worth it. I will share this with so many women who really need to hear this. Thank you so much !!

  • @justyna.1979
    @justyna.1979 Рік тому +3

    Please Tracy do the talking 💗It is always a pleasure to listen to your life wisdom lessons 🙏

  • @djr3501
    @djr3501 Рік тому +4

    This was a great video Tracy! I’m always looking for advice like this or videos like this! I love this type of content from you❤

  • @elizabethelizawker8212
    @elizabethelizawker8212 Рік тому +1

    Thank you Tracy for “putting it out there”! Today’s message is so needed in this day and time. Very helpful!! ❤

  • @StyleandGrace08
    @StyleandGrace08 Рік тому +4

    FRIEND CIRCLES!!!! Mannnn I had to back out of one. I had to leave everyone to get away from 1 person. Had to grow up and move on!

  • @ggigi3453
    @ggigi3453 Рік тому +2

    this shirt's color makes Tracy looks so young, plus cute lipstick color matching so gorgeously, pretty~~~

  • @pennyhare925
    @pennyhare925 Рік тому +5

    We ride motorcycles, and sometimes another couple will go with us. We have more fun when there’s fewer couples.

  • @decevious
    @decevious Рік тому +5

    Good video, I wasn't even going to watch it because I thought you were going to tell me something is wrong because I don't have a close women friendship.
    My brother is the type who puts friendship and friends over family, and it's so confusing for me.
    My husband and children are my best friends 💓 and my sister also.
    Thank you 😊
    We all shoot guns together and work out at our gym together and also ride and enjoy horses.
    Now I know that's ok!

  • @carla8687
    @carla8687 Рік тому +2

    I really like that you included the photos of your friends and Paul's brothers and the whole family. That was a sweet touch

    • @TracyHensel
      @TracyHensel  Рік тому

      Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to share.

  • @donho8610
    @donho8610 Рік тому +1

    Great message Tracy.
    Thank you so much for sharing.
    Building a relationship/frienship takes time and energy. Select like- minded people to be friends with, so you don't waste your time and energy and get yourself involve into some dramas that you don't have to.

  • @lolakathol4109
    @lolakathol4109 Рік тому +4

    Great topic today! In my younger years, I have tried very hard to make friends. I have never had a A best friend, or friends for that matter. I have in the past put out effort to make friends arranging times to go out to coffee or lunch. One of the ladies that I met a while back, thought we had similar interest in different topics. We both had kids, but quickly found out it was. all about her and her problems. Exhausting! I do enjoy chatting with other women, but they are so much younger than me. I am in my 60s and I feel the only connection I have are with younger women. Maybe they look at me as a mother figure which is not a bad thing, but it would be nice to have someone of my age to share things with. My husband is my best friend. I love both of my kids. They are in their 30s enjoy talking with my daughter and son. Enjoy our grandkids good times! Maybe I am trying too hard. Maybe also I just want to have acquaintances. Something to think about! thank you, Tracy! For your knowledge! and coaching us to be better people😀❤️

  • @marymarks7046
    @marymarks7046 Рік тому +3

    Great conversation Tracy. So many golden nuggets for working through how to think about friendships.

  • @leem6303
    @leem6303 Рік тому +2

    So very true! Thanks Tracy!

  • @lauraweir7431
    @lauraweir7431 Рік тому +1

    Great advice as always!!! So wise and so on point

  • @Knonyobiz
    @Knonyobiz Рік тому +1

    Yes Tracy!! Great video! 35 yo female in this predicament. Great advice thank you!

  • @sharonworyn1911
    @sharonworyn1911 Рік тому +1

    What a great topic Tracy! My husband and I are both seniors but we are working and very active people. I don't want to be with seniors who aren't thriving in life. My husband and I love to be together because we need to connect because of our busy schedules. I appreciated what you shared about your family being your "friends." Our family is very close and we enjoy spending time together. I have wonderful adult children and grandchildren and so we want to be together whenever we can. (Wish I had more time to comment.)

    • @TracyHensel
      @TracyHensel  Рік тому

      Thank you, Sharon. I appreciate your sharing.

  • @debbieb4137
    @debbieb4137 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for beautiful , clear affirmation of marriage and family as relationship priority for some, amd for sharing how each season has its own relationships. ❤️👍

  • @sassysandie2865
    @sassysandie2865 10 місяців тому +1

    Wow, you put into words how I have felt about friendship. My husband is my best friend. I’ve usually had only a small group of friends throughout my life. Most of my best friends have been male when I was single and that avoided a lot of drama from females. The so-called experts say that a community of friends helps us avoid dementia but not sure I agree. I love spending time with myself and enjoy my own company. A long term friendship just basically ended because of differences but I still care about her and always will. Sometimes, friendship is just too complicated because they have all sorts of expectations that I can’t always meet. Too much drama for me.

    • @sassysandie2865
      @sassysandie2865 10 місяців тому +1

      In addition, most female friends are intimidated and jealous of women like you who are attractive and successful.

  • @simonap.3230
    @simonap.3230 Рік тому +3

    Loved the video! I do enjoy spending time with my husband. We are best friends and we love spend time together! Once in a while we do things we enjoy doing on our own , like me reading a book in a quite place and for him playing electric guitar with his group. Friends, are important to me and at this stage in my life, I pick my few good friends and I try to stay away from negativity!
    I would love to see a similar video on topic “ on family members” .. friends you can choose , but how to handle family members when they are being toxic ! How to step away from that without being hurt! Thank you for your time!

    • @TracyHensel
      @TracyHensel  Рік тому +1

      Thank you for sharing. I have several videos on toxic or negative people, including family. Check them out.

  • @femalefitandfifty
    @femalefitandfifty Рік тому +3

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts Tracy and what this looks like in your life. It’s almost exactly how my husband and I approach friendships. It’s nice to hear that’s pretty normal. Happy Friday💗

  • @lesliehaner151
    @lesliehaner151 Рік тому +2

    Chefs kiss with this video! Well said!🙋🏼‍♀️🥂

  • @myvoice31
    @myvoice31 Рік тому +1

    Interesting topic. Agree with a lot of it and can relate.

  • @brendacarol4315
    @brendacarol4315 Рік тому +1

    This is amazing! Thank you so much for speaking on this topic, I thought something was missing fir me or I was the odd one by doing pretty much everything with my husband and/or grown children. How relieving it feels to know I’m not.

  • @Tiye4
    @Tiye4 Рік тому +2

    Excellent points….I resonated with the lifelong friendships

  • @ThunderDunder123
    @ThunderDunder123 Рік тому +3

    16:10 Yes, especially in parochial schools. I have witnessed this when I worked at one. If there is one spot open on the cheerleading squad, a high ranking circle mom’s kid is getting it. It’s not a coincidence that she is the only one at try outs.

  • @nelsonquinney2316
    @nelsonquinney2316 Рік тому +3

    Great Video Tracy

  • @breezyvibe
    @breezyvibe Рік тому +2

    I like your hair today and your makeup . . you look GREAT!!

  • @womanatthewell9603
    @womanatthewell9603 Рік тому +1

    Some of my female friends are just too needy and suck a lot of my time. They frequently call me and vent all their problems then they honestly really don’t want solutions, they just want to pull me into their drama. Better no friends than imbalanced codependent relationships. I’m learning to implement strong boundaries.

  • @angelaalbuquerque9897
    @angelaalbuquerque9897 Рік тому +1

    What a relief! Thank you!

  • @Latte528
    @Latte528 Рік тому +3

    Very encouraging! I am in a stage of life where I would like a few new friends. Most of the friends I have are out of town.
    My daughter just started attending a new school this year and I am hoping that to become friends with people at her new school. I am an introvert so I feel that it is somewhat difficult for me, but know I need to put myself out there.

  • @carolebersole4025
    @carolebersole4025 Рік тому +1

    Great insight. Thank you!

  • @shilparamgopal1221
    @shilparamgopal1221 Рік тому +1

    This is wonderful advice. So eye opening and very practical. I have been hooked on your content lately and find your videos very concise and inspiring. Thank you for putting out such quality work!

  • @LunaLuna_moonchild
    @LunaLuna_moonchild Рік тому +1

    This was probably the most helpful video I ever watched on the topic, and I watched many 😅

  • @dodievanwyen4793
    @dodievanwyen4793 Рік тому +1

    Tracy, I found this topic to be very thoughtful and encouraging. I've gone through more than a few seasons at 60 plus years of age. And as much as I can I want to enjoy life. I value all people, But friendships do take a bit of time and energy to work properly and it's okay to pick and choose.

  • @summercarroll1059
    @summercarroll1059 Рік тому +1

    I've been lucky to have a husband who is my best friend and I have a group of women I consider best friends and we all uplift each other up. The husband's all get along too. I also love spending time with my children. I've definitely had to be selective and pass on some friendships because I know they would be more drama and not uplifting. It's a good reminder that we have different seasons in life and it's okay to not stay close friends with some (or most).

  • @R.A.A.1980
    @R.A.A.1980 Рік тому +1

    Wow what a treat with your awesome stories and this am and a video. great tips on emotional eq I didn’t get that type of parental guidance so it’s such a gift that you share.

  • @artisticromance
    @artisticromance Рік тому +1

    I'm 34 and this video is invaluable for me. I haven't finished it yet, but I'm struck by you saying that seasonal friendships can drift and that it's okay and not to try too hard to force them. In the past, I definitely blamed myself when they drifted or felt like I wasn't good enough, but the reality was our shared connection lapsed and we had nothing else in common. I would love to hear more about how your daughter maintains so many friendships, if she has any guidance to share.

  • @nanciutay5620
    @nanciutay5620 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for your wise words. It is something I think about often.

  • @Avoid_Low_Frequency
    @Avoid_Low_Frequency Рік тому +2

    Such valuable information and it adds credibility to the way I have handled my commitments to my family. I have not had time to devote to friends.

  • @Denisebemmett
    @Denisebemmett Рік тому +1

    Amen! I truly have fun with my guy and my family . I do have two childhood friends that I check in with about life. However, rarely see them. However, they are my true friend's. Thanks for the video. I love my time with my guy❤️🙏

  • @blakylucha
    @blakylucha Рік тому +2

    Great advice it's just makes sense thank you!

  • @silver4682
    @silver4682 Рік тому +1

    Your hair looks great. I love the color !
    And that shirt is so pretty.
    Great topic today 👍

  • @highlyfavoured5577
    @highlyfavoured5577 Рік тому +1

    Thanks for sharing
    This is just what I needed
    Great video

  • @llauren13
    @llauren13 Рік тому +2

    🎉🎉🎉 I love this video, excellent topic ! ♥️

  • @peachez982
    @peachez982 Рік тому +1

    Great video. I also appreciate you sharing that video clip about being in between friend groups and the idea that sometimes as you are elevating you may find yourself alone because of the change in season as you are growing. Great way to think of it and it helps in the sometimes feeling lonely when a friend group may not connect with you any more and you otherwise may feel like it’s you(well, it is you but could be in a good way). On another note, will you be doing a video about raising tweens? Speaking of friend groups, lol. I could really use that video of your experience and advice for raising tweens. I feel your pain of being “triggered and taking the bait” with my 12 year old and trying to work on that (she and I are very similar in personality which doesn’t really help). Thank you!

    • @TracyHensel
      @TracyHensel  Рік тому

      Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to weigh in.
      As for your video request - I have so many videos on raising tweens, teens, young children, and navigating adult children that there is nothing more to add. It's a matter of applying the principles I've already shared. Please resource those videos or look into coaching with me.

  • @tatianasouza2361
    @tatianasouza2361 Рік тому +1

    Amazing video and advice, as always. 🙌❤️