Delicious Pie And The Value Of Patience - Onion Talks - Ep. 7

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  • Опубліковано 19 жов 2024
  • In our fast paced world, we expect everything at once. But Peter Redd says there is merit to waiting for desirable outcomes-- like savoring a delicious homemade pie. A perfect metaphor for a perfect talk.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 537

  • @cmilla111
    @cmilla111 3 роки тому +234

    I love that despite how callous and dark The Onion can be, they still made sure that the actor barely gave the dog a love tap because they aren't monsters.

    • @nise6699
      @nise6699 6 місяців тому +14

      If it were a hyper realistic robot dog, they would

    • @BE-fw1lr
      @BE-fw1lr 6 місяців тому +7

      @@nise6699 After all... IT'S NOT A REAL DOG!

  • @Steve27775
    @Steve27775 12 років тому +674

    I skipped to the end of the video, couldn't wait.

  • @benjaminkroll1242
    @benjaminkroll1242 11 років тому +475

    That's not at all what this is about. This piece is an examination of unctuous behavior in American culture. He only valued patience as means to allow him to claim moral superiority over the "average American who would've just eaten it by now and tossed out the tin". The dog scarfing down the pie serves not as a reminder of the unpredictability of our universe, but instead that pretending to be good is in the end unfulfilling.

    • @rustykettle6889
      @rustykettle6889 6 років тому +18

      Who are you talking to?

    • @goat9199
      @goat9199 6 років тому +45

      That’s pretty deep for a guy wearing those sunglasses.

    • @ClassicHolic
      @ClassicHolic 6 років тому +22

      That is actually pretty convincing.

    • @RadioForYahweh
      @RadioForYahweh 5 років тому +13

      Too deep. I'm drowning help 🛀🤽🌊

    • @2-_
      @2-_ 4 роки тому +8

      english teacher be like

  • @arande3
    @arande3 5 років тому +558

    One day when I was three years old I was at daycare and they were handing out suckers to all the kids. I thought I would be nice and let all the other kids get their suckers first because they were special suckers and you were able to choose your sucker. Come to find out, by the time I got there, there were no suckers left.

    • @mkauf84
      @mkauf84 5 років тому +54

      Aww, that was so inspiring.

    • @KyleMart
      @KyleMart 5 років тому +1

      @@frimi8593 Dang it, beat me too it.

    • @MsClaudiaDuran
      @MsClaudiaDuran 5 років тому +72

      Plot Twist: You were the sucker the whole time.

    • @jlupus8804
      @jlupus8804 4 роки тому +2

      Like dis if u cry erytim

    • @SH19922x
      @SH19922x 4 роки тому +7

      Yeah im sure you remember that and that really happened.

  • @nelswolf
    @nelswolf 6 років тому +455

    So moral of the story. There is no value in patience.

    • @lyndsaybrown8471
      @lyndsaybrown8471 4 роки тому +20

      Nah, if he ate the pie right away, we wouldn't have seen the cute dog!

    • @drcgaming4195
      @drcgaming4195 2 роки тому +14

      @@lyndsaybrown8471 i hate that dog

    • @real_xijinping
      @real_xijinping 2 роки тому +2

      @@drcgaming4195 you wanna taste that pie too do ya

    • @drcgaming4195
      @drcgaming4195 2 роки тому +1

      @@real_xijinping i dont even remember this video lmao

    • @nukacolacompany2534
      @nukacolacompany2534 Рік тому

      @@drcgaming4195 what were you too stoned and on welfare to remember

  • @cardiaccoder9622
    @cardiaccoder9622 5 років тому +232

    Someone should slip an onion talks into a Ted talk or motivational speaking playlist

    • @soneelita
      @soneelita 3 роки тому +9

      8 years back I thought Onion Talks were real.

    • @Yorelz
      @Yorelz 3 роки тому +13

      When I become a teacher I’m gunna play Ted talks often and when the kids stop paying attention I’ll put on an onion talk and see if they notice

    • @PankajGupta-hr8iq
      @PankajGupta-hr8iq 2 роки тому

      @@Yorelz tag when you do this..gotta hear more about this.

    • @cyberklashnikov3062
      @cyberklashnikov3062 Рік тому +1

      @@Yorelz let me know how it goes

  • @gavin-1237
    @gavin-1237 6 років тому +242

    god this is indistinguishable from so many ted talks

  • @Pining_for_the_fjords
    @Pining_for_the_fjords 12 років тому +280

    Anyone who's ever had a dog will understand this man's anger.

    • @hotasice6475
      @hotasice6475 6 років тому +43

      Conway79 I worked on a sandwich for about 30 minutes, cooking the chicken and the bacon, grabbing the perfect pieces of lettuce, toast each side of the bread on a buttered skillet, I (almost) perfectly distributed the sauces. Now I placed the sandwich in one of those warming drawers while I washed up the dishes. After I finished I grabbed a nice cup of ice tea and placed everything on the dining table. I realized I forgot the chips ( I like the crunchy texture and the salty taste goes perfect with the savory sandwich) so I go back to the kitchen, but when I walked into that damn room GUESS WHO WAS CHOWING DOWN ON MY FUCKING SANDWICH!!

    • @gimmedataids
      @gimmedataids 4 роки тому +8

      @@hotasice6475 the dog!

    • @generalguy6211
      @generalguy6211 4 роки тому +8

      I just had a dog that ate my pie, and it was delicious, but I still don't undestand the anger.

    • @staalman1226
      @staalman1226 4 роки тому +2

      @@generalguy6211 There's the problem, you got to eat some of it

    • @generalguy6211
      @generalguy6211 4 роки тому +4

      @@staalman1226 Alright then.
      When making a dark joke on the Internet, how does one make it clear, that a 'had' is not refering to owning, but to consuming, like had breakfast.

  • @Flackon
    @Flackon 12 років тому +108

    Moral of the story: eat your pie soon or a dog will materialize out of nowhere and eat it for you!

  • @manictiger
    @manictiger 11 років тому +90

    I know you post is mainly satire, but I'll just be real, anyway. There are times for patience and times for action. While the pie is in the oven? Patience. When the pie is finished? Action.

    • @NoName-de1fn
      @NoName-de1fn 4 роки тому +2

      "Action" 😂

    • @Jordan64852
      @Jordan64852 4 роки тому +7

      Patience is a good virtue but not just to be patient just for patient sake

  • @siddharthsingh5410
    @siddharthsingh5410 12 років тому +30

    it actually makes sense ,what they are telling is that patience is important but up to a certain limit, or else someone else will seize our oppurtunity

  • @TehSamurai
    @TehSamurai 11 років тому +65

    "You're not even enjoying it!"

  • @cu5197
    @cu5197 5 років тому +65

    "So how do we restore trust in the media" while he puts the napkin on😂

  • @WestOfEarth
    @WestOfEarth Рік тому +9

    The eternal struggle between 'Patience is a virtue' and 'Carpe Diem'.

    • @zapkvr
      @zapkvr 5 днів тому

      Seize the carp?

  • @inspectorjavert8443
    @inspectorjavert8443 8 років тому +56

    2:15 missed an opportunity for a joke there could have had him wear a lapel mic and have it give off feedback and he put on his bib.

    • @charsfm5203
      @charsfm5203 6 років тому +2

      would've been a bit off topic in m opinion

  • @danielaronowitz1
    @danielaronowitz1 12 років тому +88

    I love the random reaction shots from minorities.. it gives me the subtle reassurance I need to know that my pie related opinions arnt racist.

    • @shittysolver7909
      @shittysolver7909 Рік тому +4

      I agree every episode has a 2 second long cut of a black person nodding. Thought I was the only person that noticed, also had to reply because I noticed you commented a whole DECADE ago

  • @Didymusification
    @Didymusification 12 років тому +36

    STILL WE HAVE NO INFORMATION ON WHAT IS THE BIGGEST ROCK. WHY THOR, WHY HAVE THOU FORSAKEN ME?

  • @CodyChu
    @CodyChu 12 років тому +34

    This piece of satire is truly amazing. It discloses the whole hypothesis of the virtue of patience by introducing the unpredictability of the future. People always want to plan ahead, to wait, to work now and they forget to enjoy life now. Patience is only a virtue in a predictable universe. In an infinitely uncertain one like ours, patience means nothing.

  • @Cdz9000
    @Cdz9000 11 років тому +28

    everyone looks so disgusted when he kicks the dog

  • @randyearles9286
    @randyearles9286 Рік тому +7

    the Dog is like "this acting gig is alright"

  • @Thrifty032781
    @Thrifty032781 8 років тому +40

    I lost it when the dog came out.

    • @smhsophie
      @smhsophie 4 роки тому

      Wow, spoilers much

    • @edhuber3557
      @edhuber3557 3 роки тому

      I couldn't wait, and so I lost it before the dog.

  • @brentonalla1
    @brentonalla1 10 років тому +12

    he didnt really kick it he pushed it with his foot, there is a difference between a strike and a push

    • @njrifai5734
      @njrifai5734 5 років тому +1

      And it's wearing pads

    • @bulldozer8950
      @bulldozer8950 4 роки тому +4

      I think he tried to make it look like kick but he obviously didn’t want to actually hurt the dog or kick it in anyway

  • @Stamboul
    @Stamboul 12 років тому +12

    This would've been funnier if I didn't already know there would be a dog eating the pie from the promos for the series. Stupid spoilers.

  • @mastuhman
    @mastuhman 12 років тому +8

    In this one, the audience wasn't laughing along with the speaker (remember, "'Quack-quack,' says the duck"?). They were definitely all plants and were planning on booing his talk anyways! I support the truths you tell, Mr. Pie-man!

  • @abnormality00
    @abnormality00 Рік тому +2

    The way in which he talked to that dog was unacceptable, unless of course it was a robot dog, in which case it would be fine.

  • @Jessie_Helms
    @Jessie_Helms 3 роки тому +5

    I thought this was supposed to be satire, this is entirely correct

  • @kenobrien3865
    @kenobrien3865 3 роки тому +2

    Dog be like "You took my balls, I take your pie"

  • @thecomicreject
    @thecomicreject 12 років тому +3

    haha I love how you can tell the smoke is coming from behind the pie and not from the pie and then when they pan out the smoke isn't even there

  • @houndoom1234
    @houndoom1234 12 років тому +7

    Despite sensing that to happen, I was still devastated.

  • @Draxis32
    @Draxis32 12 років тому +4

    This video enlighted me to the fact that Delicious Pie and other great valuable stuff must be stored above 6ft height.

  • @brendanman30
    @brendanman30 11 років тому +18

    That labradoodle looks almost exactly like mine. My dog does the exact same thing all the time. If I walk away from my food for more than about 15 seconds, he'll just eat everything on my plate.

    • @faradaysage15
      @faradaysage15 3 роки тому

      you could put him to sleep.

    • @togglebott7748
      @togglebott7748 2 роки тому +1

      @@faradaysage15 “you should put your dog to sleep because it likes eating food”
      Bro

  • @dristor2
    @dristor2 11 років тому +7

    Still actually more exciting than TED

  • @Maphisto86
    @Maphisto86 12 років тому +1

    The dog symbolizes Murphy's Law.

  • @PowerElemental
    @PowerElemental 12 років тому +1

    The Onion ran a story that said that Kim Jong Un was voted the sexiest man alive, and a Chinese newspaper took it seriously. They congratulated him on his achievement, and even included a gallery of Kim Jong Un "fap photos".

  • @electricerger
    @electricerger Рік тому +2

    I watched this video on 2x speed to get to the end faster.

  • @B.D.E.
    @B.D.E. 12 років тому

    Intermixing Onion talks with TED talks is a fine pastime.

  • @theflyingorc
    @theflyingorc 11 років тому +7

    Says a person who couldn't take the two seconds needed to see if he spelled his username correctly.

  • @CH-ek2bm
    @CH-ek2bm 4 роки тому +1

    I was convinced that the pie was going to be gone before his speech was over

  • @Octolithic
    @Octolithic 21 день тому

    I like the fly buzzing around his head

  • @VoiceActorGeekMatt
    @VoiceActorGeekMatt 11 років тому +25

    That dog would have been a dead dog had that been my apple pie.

    • @randomguy2052
      @randomguy2052 4 роки тому +1

      Wtf? Dogs are the best! Just hide your pie lol

  • @PlagueOfBabies
    @PlagueOfBabies 12 років тому

    This is by-far the best o talk so far

  • @CJODell12
    @CJODell12 12 років тому

    Good luck, counting all of the digits, because Pi goes on to infinity.

  • @bart869
    @bart869 Рік тому +2

    She's won every pie contest that she seriously competed in

  • @danielreed5199
    @danielreed5199 2 роки тому

    I love these Maths Ted Talks when they get super excited about a constant

  • @raghuverma2477
    @raghuverma2477 4 роки тому

    I swear, This is the realest Ted Talk ever.

  • @AnonymousYoutuber69
    @AnonymousYoutuber69 12 років тому

    Shoutout to the fly buzzing around the lecturer.

  • @jackskellingtonsora
    @jackskellingtonsora 11 років тому +13

    Kick the Dog is a trope. It shows that it's ok to dislike the character. Or it can represent the Moral Event Horizon. The point at which the character is unredeemable. Thus the audience's reaction to the guy kicking the dog. I hope someone knew about tropes when they made this.

    • @bryanwisri8661
      @bryanwisri8661 5 років тому +3

      This man copied and pasted from tvtropes

    • @frumbolo
      @frumbolo 5 років тому +2

      He didn't really kick it. More like pushed it with his foot

    •  5 років тому

      "I hope someone knew about tropes when they made this.
      "
      Don't worry your little Trumptard head about it.

    • @bobobsen
      @bobobsen 5 років тому

      Stop copying from Tv Tropes

  • @ArborealOreo
    @ArborealOreo 12 років тому +1

    It's great comedy. His whole talk requires him to talk about pie and not eat it, and he is able to do it after great difficulty, only to be disappointed by the opportunity slipping out.

  • @owenb8636
    @owenb8636 3 роки тому +1

    That's some relatable food aggression though

  • @violante1421
    @violante1421 3 роки тому +1

    this is the longest 4 minute video i’ve ever watched

  • @SpacemanXC
    @SpacemanXC 12 років тому

    Warning, don't watch this stoned unless you plan on walking to the bakery and spending fifteen dollars on a fresh apple pie.

  • @CJODell12
    @CJODell12 11 років тому +5

    The dog is a troll.

  • @randomfriendlyguy
    @randomfriendlyguy 12 років тому

    shoutout to the fly flying around him for like the first quarter of the video.

  • @Natura1Wyrm
    @Natura1Wyrm 12 років тому

    The dog deserved it more. He hadn't rambled on about nothing in particular.

  • @WardancerHB
    @WardancerHB 12 років тому

    the dog symbolizes hunger

  • @Nielsblog
    @Nielsblog 12 років тому

    This Onion Talk exactly makes sense.

  • @jonathanleach1050
    @jonathanleach1050 5 місяців тому

    He's built like a man well-acquainted with apple pies.

  • @VisionOfFlight
    @VisionOfFlight 12 років тому

    At least they provide all patients with computers.

  • @DavidRussell323
    @DavidRussell323 12 років тому

    A TED style onion video. Oh my god, this is amazing

  • @katehu7194
    @katehu7194 Рік тому

    Flowers fade, the fruits of summer fade, they have their seasons so does PIE :p

  • @ryanarey
    @ryanarey 12 років тому +1

    I don't like it when they have a "gag" at the end. They're better when they take themselves seriously, like biggest rock.

  • @RegulusOrigin
    @RegulusOrigin 12 років тому

    The pie WOULD be appraised, as it is clear that it was freshly dredged.

  • @drewbc32
    @drewbc32 12 років тому

    'Ur not even enjoying it!' lol

  • @eddieboyky
    @eddieboyky 12 років тому

    Interestingly enough, I am eating pie while I watch this.

  • @adam145
    @adam145 12 років тому

    That dog was probably related to Facebook, MTV and FOX news all at once.

  • @Vantado
    @Vantado 12 років тому +9

    Call PETA. That dog was tapped far to gently.

    • @faradaysage15
      @faradaysage15 3 роки тому

      they euthanized the dog afterwards, as it had undiagnosed diabetes and had an attack. That was super funny

  • @thesacredbeast2000
    @thesacredbeast2000 12 років тому

    there was pie in the fridge when i started watching this, there isnt now

  • @MsClaudiaDuran
    @MsClaudiaDuran 4 роки тому

    He was so in love with that pie, I thought he was gonna pull a Hoboken Squat Cobbler.

    • @faradaysage15
      @faradaysage15 3 роки тому

      is..is than an euphemism for pooping?

    • @MsClaudiaDuran
      @MsClaudiaDuran 2 роки тому

      @@faradaysage15 "It's when a man sits in pie. He sits in a pie, and he wiggles around."

  • @Loreki
    @Loreki 12 років тому

    It's like a culinary version of the famous empty chair. Very well done.

  • @SubconsciousGatherer
    @SubconsciousGatherer 12 років тому +5

    I'm glad he wasn't putting off doing a big pile of coke from that table.

  • @williamwoolf8072
    @williamwoolf8072 5 місяців тому

    Dude couldnt even wait 4 minutes

  • @mkechandler5776
    @mkechandler5776 3 роки тому

    I feel personally attacked

  • @captainmeat3
    @captainmeat3 2 роки тому

    I thought he was going to brutally murder the dog

  • @HeavyboxesDIYMaster
    @HeavyboxesDIYMaster 12 років тому

    The pie will be cold said the pessimistic audience, the pie will be mine said the optimistic speaker, the pie is in my stomach said the opportunistic dog.

  • @lukethegreat101
    @lukethegreat101 12 років тому +2

    These black audiences crack me up every time. The Onion is just a giant cluster of brilliant writers.

  • @ar-yack9526
    @ar-yack9526 9 місяців тому

    Me: It's worth waiting for the love of my life.
    Life:

  • @lizxu322
    @lizxu322 Рік тому +1

    He's not a real pie lover. If he was, he would have dived into that pie anyway and shoved the dog away

  • @kangjj1
    @kangjj1 12 років тому

    Dog, wat r u doin, Dog, STAHP!

  • @buzinaocara
    @buzinaocara 12 років тому

    That twist in the ending turned out to be less funy then if you just went the obvious way and the guy ate the pie before the end of the talk.

  • @Iamjustherek
    @Iamjustherek 12 років тому

    3:23 Was anyone else expecting a 'You made me look bad!! Boogahboogahboogah!!'? No, just me? Okay...

  • @Miradart
    @Miradart 12 років тому

    The pie doesn't appear to be steaming, as much as it is SMOKING! Run away!! Run away!!!

  • @Jeddaven
    @Jeddaven 12 років тому +2

    This was actually a somewhat useful talk.

  • @93heylove
    @93heylove 12 років тому

    If you wait too long someone is going to rush in and take an opportunity you didn't yet.

  • @KrazeElk
    @KrazeElk 3 роки тому +1

    Why do I genuinely feel bad for this guy

  • @mfmelendez
    @mfmelendez 12 років тому

    The dog was a nice touch

  • @JMMT7022801
    @JMMT7022801 12 років тому

    The dog couldn't wait any longer. You lose. Ha! Ha!

  • @millard022
    @millard022 12 років тому

    That dog would have gotten kicked across the room if that was my pie

  • @ancilodon
    @ancilodon 12 років тому

    Funniest reference to Courage ever.

  • @abnormality00
    @abnormality00 Рік тому

    The dog is a metaphor.

  • @S986S
    @S986S 12 років тому

    Very Metaphoric

  • @Didymusification
    @Didymusification 12 років тому

    THAT PIE.

  • @codykonior
    @codykonior 12 років тому

    Written by M. Night Shamalan.

  • @rutger5000
    @rutger5000 12 років тому

    It's obviously drifting through space,

  • @TyeNee
    @TyeNee 12 років тому

    THE WORLD NEEDS MORE LAKE DREDGE APPRAISAL.

  • @Grimdopple
    @Grimdopple 12 років тому

    Is your youtube video stuck on webcam mode?

  • @rustinstardust2094
    @rustinstardust2094 5 років тому +1

    "Heartworm"

  • @zeigbert1743
    @zeigbert1743 4 роки тому

    I had to stop halfway through to get me some pie.

  • @koolyman
    @koolyman 12 років тому

    I can't see how l long this will last for. But I liked the bit where he tapped the dog with his foot and everyone was like " Aww poor dog BOO"

  • @Square_Peg
    @Square_Peg 12 років тому

    Now I am hungry and I am going to have to wait an entire 30 seconds for my microwave to heat something up.

  • @AlexLikesWaffles
    @AlexLikesWaffles 12 років тому

    wow an onion video that actually makes sense!