i thought of the same thing. Programmers, foreign visa workers, engineers, bookworms… Downtown san jose is probably not the best place to hang out… Palo Alto which is 15mins away is where the wealth is at
I hear you but I’m a blue collar worker and live in a 3 unit building in San Francisco ; been here 1 year and don’t even know how the other tenants look 😅 . It’s only 6 people here too but everyone’s in their own world . I’m too busy with work and when I’m home, I’m busy with my hobbies/crafts/ gardening (all pretty anti-social things)
Thanks for the observation. In some industries there are only “one places” when work is combined with home. I don’t know if there is any historical precedent for communities to be organized without central gathering points. Could be a unique experiment in human history. That’s one of the reasons I think this topic is so interesting.
@@WilliamJimenez01 Our suburban development pattern of the last 50 years is absolutely a unique point in human history. No society has ever segregated work, living, and retail in the extreme way that the US (and Canada) has. It's absolutely one of the main reasons there is a loneliness epidemic in the US (and Canada) and it's something that we should seek to rectify by changing zoning laws.
America as a whole is a very lonely society. I lived in California for 4 decades. And now with the rising CRIMES, lawlessness and homelessness, America is an extremely weird country
Exactly, it is not public transit. There were no lack of people in downtown San Jose, Oakland and San Francisco. People stop going out when crime is too high. You see the people being interviewed here don’t even dare to talk about it. Sad.
OK, I live in this area and I can tell you firsthand after living here for almost a decade why this is. Number one… It’s so expensive to live here that most people don’t have any time to socialize with any kind of depth. Yes, you may have an occasional dinner or Outing. But no one really has a time to invest to get to know each other on a deeper level. Number two. Because they’re such a heavy emphasis on the tech industry. You have a mass amount of people with industrial educations and certain brain types, and personalities, which create, a lack of diversity. Ethnic origin and color is not the only thing that defines diversity. This lack of diversity has had a horrendous effect on culture in the area. Pricing out and destroying creativity and art and artists. The majority of tech people only travel and eat food. But when you go to their overpriced homes?the walls are bare and they’re filled with cheap tasteless furniture. Their lack of supporting culture is destroying culture. I could go on, but those are the two main reasons.
Yes I live in Sunnyvale too and the comments above nailed it. I feel it's got worse recently cos there are so many tech workers out of work and they are staying home to preserve cash flow. Also I was in San Jose for a meeting at 9am and I was thinking about the hassle to get there find parking etc. The place was absolutely empty. It was like the height of covid never stopped there. Zero traffic, no one in any car park and every building I saw was still empty. It was never a buzzing place but it must be devastating for local business that there are no workers going to that city any more.
Born and raised here and you nailed it. High skill high paid professionals, most of whom are transplants from the other side of the country with no roots in the region, are a disproportionate % of the population, so the maladies they face stick out starkly in the statistics. If you go to some of the few working class immigrant communities left on the Peninsula you'll see they have no problems with social contact - yard parties, block parties, festivals, etc abound. Not to say they don't work extremely hard too, but they work to live. They don't have to maintain the Live to Work grindset facade professionals in tech, biotech, and medical fields have to.
I completely felt this moving to the area in 2014 from London. In London we had a range of friends (designers, artists, restaurant managers, tech, finance, etc) and it was incredibly easy to make new friends. In SF we noticed it suddenly became 10x harder to make new friends and people always seemed to be time poor. The older people of 40+ seemed to be more friendly and fun, so I can only put that down to younger generations carrying the stress of housing costs and being career focused. It seemed to me even then that many people were so lonely. There is also some blame to be laid on people themselves. I have neighbors that invest zero time in simple gestures like saying "Hi", simply ignoring your neighbors reinforces this idea that you can just ignore everyone around you.
I lived there two years. it was trash. I moved from LA i saw through that facade in 3 seconds. I hated my time there, its like they hated actual culture in san jose. Everything was so Tech centric, all the landlords want a piece of that google money so the rents are stupid high for a place thats blander than most of orange county. the entire place shuts down by like 8/9pm. the bars and locals are weird caught between being rich or struggling to survive.
LA is just as bad lol people are superficial and show offs and materialistic lol at least the bay has nature redwoods and ocean to reground us. And for us minorities we have to worry about the gangs issue yall have can’t be wearing certain clothes or hats so that just adds a stress in itself. I’d say your coastal towns is SoCal are fun but LA itself is boring if your not spending a lot of money and yes we got cheap taco stands too no different but restaurants we the same a lot options
In LA everything since Covid, closes down early. NO local coffee house, even to go to. No night school classes. Community arts education is gone. Anything for seniors or disabled is considered not important and billions go to the homeless, who make the place unsafe. It really is a bad situation
I lived in Palo Alto in the 70s and later was in SF for a while. It was terrific... just as people are describing it. Then back to LA for work (uck, but it was ok). Now I am OLD. Thought I'd move back to Bay Area but now hear how expensive it is, how crappy it is, don't see that (altho I have a few old good friends and a cousin there). LA is crap too. People are unfriendly, and as you say, no third place to meet. Things close really early since Covid. I don't get that as there are plenty of people with nothing to do, I'm sure. Would love to settle in a place with a feeling of community and an evening yoga class or two, and ceramics. Seems actually impossible to find low key stuff like that now.
I live in concord .. whenever I go to San Jose downtown for an event , I can’t wait to get out of there . People smoking crack on the street. Homeless people walking around dragging carts of filthy garbage bags .. endless parking garages , but nobody out on the street doing any normal , ‘neighborhood ‘ activities like jogging , speed walking , playing a instrument , eating ice cream in an outdoor cafe on the sidewalk . It’s creepy ..they could film a dystopian post apocalyptic movie at 10:00 am any given Tuesday downtown . The city has no soul , Just my experience.
@@WilliamJimenez01I have all the answers. It has to do with big tech 10000000% smaller towns people are more friendly outgoing ect. I can keep elaborating with real proof.
Sounds like you were in Oakland, because I didn’t see any homeless people in SJ 🤔 They’re hidden for the most part. Or maybe they’re more on the east side of the city, as I heard that’s where the ghettos allegedly are.
Also because there is a huge sex ratio imbalance of Too Many Men this tends to cause a lack of nightlife because why would single men want to go out to a sausage fest?
The social settings are dying. Rents are way too high, businesses are leaving and face it, people did not start going there back in the 1980s to make friends. They went there to make money. It all caught up with the area.
Honestly that’s why I left San Francisco, which is something I NEVER thought I would do after moving across the country in 2012 to be there. I was sold on city life in SF in 2010, before the smartphone was ubiquitous, before antisocial media was tweaked to be all-consuming in terms of attention-stealing, and the stories about how warm and welcoming San Francisco used to be are all true, and I couldn’t get enough of it as a guy who grew up in the suburbs as the gay kid or the odd kid, or the kid marching to his own drum. It was wonderful, meeting people was so easy and fun, and then the smartphone took over, the earbuds went in, the noses became glued to the phones, and it became less and less like that, in combination to thousands and thousands of people coming in from all over the world to work in one specific industry, and not because they wanted to become part of the social fabric of the area, and it just made rents and costs absolutely skyrocket. It was like watching a cultural murder happen in slow motion. Now, because so many people up there are so transient and so often don’t feel as though they plan to make it their home for years or decades into the future, they vote in and otherwise allow terrible policy, like no-questions-asked permitting of theft and other terribly damaging antisocial behaviors, which further degrades the quality of life and creates just a horrible environment to function in in any way, and they allow these things to go on because so much of the population is transient and has such limited skin in the game, since they’re not planning on staying anyway. San Francisco and the surrounding environs put all their eggs in one tech basket and pumped millions of dollars into it for a good decade plus, to the exclusion of basically everything else, and that was also a mistake, because as we now see, the day was going to come when remote work would make it so that many ‘Silicon Valley jobs’ could be done from anywhere with an internet connection. The dust has only just begun to settle in SF, and it’s a real guess as to what it will look like and feel like when it does, but the culture it had before 2012, 2013 and the rising ubiquity of personal tech is not something that’s going to be so easy to just turn back on. I hope it does get its act together, for the sake of so many who would have a vastly more fulfilled life in the social atmosphere it used to claim as uniquely its own, not this perverse facade its currently functioning behind. The downfall of such a place should bring joy to nobody.
As someone born in sf and moved away . I still come back to visit family and this is a great explanation of what happened to my beloved city. These people moved to sf for a career, not to be apart of the vibrant city.
You really explained how SF changed. I lived in SF in 92-94 and that was when the artists left due to the rise in rents and tech. Again I lived there in 2007 -09’. That was the death 💀 era of bookstores, lol. All over SF we lost so many cool old Beat/Hippie businesses, herbal/occult book store type shops gone. End of an era. 💔
Its a bigger issue in the united states. The culture is so materialistic and most people seem to only care about that and worship that lifestyle. Americans need to travel outside the country to get more perspectives and a lot of americans dont have a passport or leave their state.
@SparkConversation In people all over there world there is an urge to explore. This transcends nationality...There are people who would like to know and explore outside of what is familiar to them. And there are many ways of doing this if you have the passion to do it and are open minded. Keeping up with the joneses in this matter doesnt exactly apply because a lot of americans dont even leave the country. The purpose of travel is for joy and also to gain other perspectives to help you improve yourself and find solutions to everyday challenges in different ways. It also helps you become a better problem solver, more skilled socially and at communication. It also makes you more confident, tolerant, adaptable, couragous and wise. New points of view are gathered and integrated. Views about other cultures, ways of life, attitudes, systems, languages etc...All these perspectives can point to other ways to improve the challenges within our own country and also to help you regonize the strengths within them. There is over one hundred countries in the world, within countries there different regions, cities, towns etc.. As well as affordability well it really depends what we spend money on. A lot of people spend money on things to impress other people and have all types of expenses not out of necesity. A lot of people could do things to cut expenses but they do not, because they are too comfortable with certain spending habits or their whole identity is built around what they have. If instead travel was also valued then money could be saved for that. If you really want something you will create a way. I see that you do not seem to think or want to travel so if that works for you good for you.
As a worldwide traveler over my 60 plus years on this planet, I have never understood the European "flex" of the trope that most Americans don't have a passport. There are still things in the US and Canada I want to see but haven't seen yet.
Most Americans can't afford to travel across their own country much less to another country and I'm not talking just the ones earning below poverty wages.
The problem is many of these tech people are not married and don’t have children. The Bay Area is so outrageously expensive, crime ridden, and money driven, that raising children in that environment is out of the question. Compare the Bay Area to places like Boise, SLC, Omaha, Austin, Phoenix, these cities have more families, that are making these cities vibrant and alive. Compare that to the major cities of the Bay Area, San Francisco-Oakland-San Jose, where families are leaving in droves. A child centered culture, is alive, vibrant, has a future. Whereas a culture driven by greed, money, self centered, and lack of empathy dies. Technology doesn’t bring true happiness.
I have always been social by nature. When my wife moved away for school we realized how friendly people were outside of the Bay Area. Strangers walking down the street would just say good morning. We were taken aback by how friendly people were. I adopt that behavior whenever I am out biking. I always greet or nod at people on the trails whether they are walking or biking. Only about half of the people respond.
@@mocheen4837 You can literally drive an hour outside the Bay Area, inland and into the Central Valley and Sierra Foothills and see the difference. More families, more people greeting you as you walk by, people are in general more friendly and relaxed, the weather is warmer and that makes people less depressed. The Bay Area is filled with self absorbed, self centered, anti social, non empathetic, arrogant, and intolerant people.
I think technology has us going in the wrong direction, alas. But the young grow up with it, so they will hardly rebel against it and say hay, this is not a good way to live.
On May 11th I met up with my best friend from 81’ high school in Lafayette, CA . The people were all friendly and the staff of every restaurant and coffee house I went to was kind and respectful. That’s not the experience you would ever find in SF, SJ, or LA. Those cities have the rudest staff . They aren’t even timid about giving you attitude and dropping you right in the middle of a sentence while ordering .
I’ve lived in the Bay Area over forty years, before tech. In my opinion tech has little to do with it. This is not something that’s due to external circumstances. In my opinion the people are intelligent, friendly, know what to say, generally are compassionate, etc. The problem is they lack authenticity and loyalty. They have commitment issues. Dare I say that they are shallow? The reality is they don’t practice what they preach. Their flaky. If you invite them for any reason, they will wait to see if something better comes up, then flake out on you. They will judge you in every way, then find a reason to keep their distance. They are self centered and selfish, really only caring about themselves and how everything affects them. They seem to have a comfort level they’re not willing to exceed. They also have an air of specialness . Are they afraid to expose their own shortcomings, aware of how THEY judge others? Friendships come with a certain level of vulnerability, you have to be real to others, not pretend or fake. You have to risk not being accepted. Friendships are a bond and a pact, and with that comes a certain level of responsibility. You have to maintain the friendship, have respect, loyalty, etc. I can tell you the place I came from is a place that is a polar opposite. This unwillingness to engage or befriend others, this aloofness is at an all time high and on a whole other level.
Ask questions with your heart ask people questions about themselves. Ask you newbies questions. Show interest in others. Asking questions about others is showing love. How can you expect others to be interested in you if you’re not interested in them?
Tek has been a big mistake, for the most part. How to get people to admit that and go BACK to human interaction, I don't know. I am one of the new Luddites, tho....
I talked my brother to moving to Austin back in the late 90s. He did, met and married, owns a home with two kids. Austin has grown up to become a big city by leaps and bounds, is less affordable but has kept its social community feel.
Loneliness is a self-inflicted state of mind of the entitled. Depression follows them. Bay area has so much nature and great weather, unlike NYC. Go out and enjoy nature.
@@grimsquad273 But there's plenty of nature within just a few miles of the suburbs. Some suburbs (like Los Gatos, Evergreen, and Los Altos Hills) are literally in the mountains.
Nature is rad. I'm in the "industrial" area around brokaw and Zanker, and I've seen things like a beautiful female kestrel preening her tail, ants swarming (looked like coffee grounds) I "check in" with a (female or juvenile) night heron who lives behind H Mart, seen one of those wasps that catches a spider and "zombifies" it doing its routine, seen a turkey vulture with its wings spread out to catch some sun when it was still chilly in the morning, and I have this obsession with finding out of there are triops living in this sort of planned community's water feature. And if not, introducing some.
…a native of the Bay Area, born in Mt. View 54 years ago. My family bounced around the 70’s and 80’s between Tokyo, Manila, London and our main residence in Atherton. Pop’s office was in Milpitas so I had experienced the growth of the Silicon Valley with San Jose as its anchor despite is lackluster appeal which is its appeal to the tech world. But being openly gay and not in the tech industry, I somehow ended up in Campbell but 6 years later i was back in Atherton across the street from my folks .San Jose was never exciting to say the least but it was good for innovation, a hodgepodge of intellectual work force from all over the world. Together with universities up and down the Bay it was the perfect set up to what is now the Silicon Valley. I lovingly refer to it as the most expensive vacuum for it sucks and it sucked me back for I’m refurbishing my family’s old horse ranch in the east foothills isolated from the hullabaloo of the chaos has just been ideal.
Interesting experience you have. I was thinking everyone around the world knows of San Francisco but nobody knows of San Jose (and that's where the money is and start of Silicon Valley). Then there's the song "Do You Know The Way to San Jose" written by Hal David when he briefly stopped in San Jose in 1960s. I am sure you saw what they did with downtown Mountain View in 1980s, later blocked off Castro St to cars making it a nice third place like the Europeans.
People in the Bay Area are not very friendly at all. I grew up in San Francisco and have always been social. There was not a place that I could go to where I did not bump into someone that I knew. As I got older I started to notice that people were not as friendly. I was always able to strike up a conversation with a stranger whenever I was out. I still do but not as easily. Most people today do not want to stop and chat. People are too self absorbed, entitled and buried in their smart phone.
It's about disconnecting people from one another directly and, initially, connecting them to one another via machines as an intermediary. Then, ultimately, connecting people just to machines and no longer to one another, since AI can be trained on human behavior and be able to serve as an equivalent (or "better") substitute for humans. And, what's the purpose of this? To monetize all human social needs and interactions, to serve the unquenchable thirst for corporate profit. Is government complicit in this trend? Of course, since government parasitically feeds off of the profits of the tech corporations via taxation and is, therefore, a willing partner in the dehumanization of society. So, rather than being part of some insidious conspiracy, what we are seeing unfold is a natural consequence of the incentive structures that exist in our society, and the only way to interrupt this trend would be to reform the incentive structures, which necessarily means reforming capitalism. Unless this is done, we are headed for a guaranteed dystopian future where capital is constantly misallocated to the development of ever more powerful machines while increasing numbers of impoverished and destitute people survive in tents on the sidewalks of our cities.
I love my house (my temple). I work from home as I work out at home. I've never been happier and healthier ( I don't get sick, as I eat much better at home). I think that some people are somehow trying to cling to a past that no longer exists nowadays.
I think tech lifestyle will be seen by future generations like we view the cocktail generation. It seems to work in the moment, but it's not healthy for most people. That being said, American is the land of, 'it worked for this one person so there is no problem at all' mentality.
32 years in the Valley, I left after retirement. None of the people I met keep in touch with me even though I was the one try to text them during major holidays. That just the way the Valley is, people don’t show their true-self.
The issue of feeling lonely or loneliness is an individual issue but is affected by its surrounding. I've been living in SF Bay Area/Silcon Valley and love it here but there's are areas that it can improve upon. It is the most diverse in many aspects - culture, career-industry, arts, music, outdoors, lifestyle, food, self-improvements, activities, etc A lot of different industries thrives here, not just tech but tech is the biggest. I work in the tech industry. It has benefitted me in my career that don't even exist in many part of the US or the world. But I always strive for work-life balance, and many companies try to implement that. I've adjusted to the high cost of living, cause of excellent work/career opportunities. I don't think I'll be making same income anywhere else in the world - and you need to have a wide perspective to understand that - NOWHERE else in the world. But its not a perfect place or even close to utopian setting that many idealist clamor for - no place like that exists. Try to leave outside SF Bay area/Silicon Valley and you think you'll find happiness - maybe you will but with less opportunities if you are a professional in tech or other high end careers. That is a trade off you must accept, and you have to ask yourself, do you feel happy with your decision leaving Silicon Valley, are you in a better spot? if you are, stop complaining about lower income or less opportunities in your chosen location. There are other places that are even trying to compete or even build their economics based or something that mirrors Silicon Valley. Take the Dallas-Austin area, and Phoenix area. These are Silicon Valley influenced places, literally companies that moved out of SV or have a branch in those areas. If you feel lonely in SV, its the least of your worries. Go out there and discover the whole Bay Area, and you will be surprised. It has to come from the individual, a lot of your answers is already in place but you need to reach out and discover. For me, that's exactly what I did and found so many surprises that helped me realize what a wonderful region of CA that is unlike anywhere else in the world. I really appreciate that and feel thankful and feel lucky, and yes feel happy in many levels.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I appreciate that you focus on the many benefits of the Bay Area while acknowledging the challenges. That’s refreshing in a culture that is happy to label something as good or bad, success or failure without appreciating the complexity. Again really appreciate your time watching and contribution to the discussion.
When I was living in San Jose. I was the happiest I could be. Not just because it has so much to offer but I lived near the emerald green hills Morrill ave. I would jog to the hills different times of the day and go through the neighborhoods and to the hills. Feeling the fresh crips air it felt so nice. I cried when I left the bay. That’s where my heart was left. But I can see why many are leaving. It’s getting more expensive and those that stay many experience loneliness. This is also because many have to work. To keep up with the high rents.
San Francisco's tech sector/downtown is struggling but the culture is still thriving. It's a city with tons going on, great history and urban fabric. San Jose is just office parks and parking lots.
@@ehoops31yeah I am from the bay area and always go to thrifts and the local bookstores... I prefer online shopping but I want to go out and meet more people. *I now live in Carson city Nevada
A very important point was totally left out ... Drinking. When you're young especially you like to go out for a few drinks . Meet freinds or make new freinds. Well with DUIs for having one beer. People just say the hell with it. And atay home.
I was born in San Francisco and raised in Sunnyvale. Lived in San Jose for 5 years. Moved to Portland during the pandemic and haven't looked back. Portland has its issues but the difference is that it's cheaper here and there are more communities you can live in where you get the small town feeling a bit more than what exists in the Bay Area. There are more people here that work in a variety of careers and not just tech. So some people socialize and interact more often. The issue of loneliness is more a problem with the younger generation because of work from home options and post pandemic disconnect. People are still wearing masks in some cases. The absence of religion and other traditional places of community also leads to a lonely environment. Apps and games have people addicted to phones and electronic devices. In Oregon, small towns seem to be more attractive for families so that leaves the cities with younger people who go to bars, events and restaurants. However, most are already in existing social circles which makes it difficult to find friends. Logically when people first come to a city they go to downtown areas for entertainment. Portland's downtown is slowly coming back but still very empty these days. Seems to me the places of business are thriving outside of traditional downtown areas and more towards neighborhoods that have cafes, food trucks and festivals. This is where I see the most interaction among people. In San Jose, it's just not a neighborhood kind of place. Too spread out and not enough places for people to go outside of downtown and Santana Row. If you want to hang around a lot of pretentious people, the Santana Row venue is your place, but it lacks anyone with authenticity and hardly a place I would call a real neighborhood. San Jose is simply not worth the costs of living there when you can go to so many other places and experience a much better quality of life.
Thanks for your in depth observation. I’m glad that Portland is doing better. Historically some societal norms that have started in the Bay Area (blue jeans, personal computers, social media) have spread to the rest of the country. I hope this is one that doesn’t, and that’s why I want to raise awareness so we can all be the change we want to see in our communities.
Nothing meaningful in your life will happen looking at a screen. No families, no future. Look to the beautiful old towns and villages in Europe as an ideal. They are oriented around community and social interaction.
Thanks for sharing. I just started reading a book that makes the same observation about bowling alleys. It’s called Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community.
I know most of my neighbors and I always speak to them in passing. If they are working on their yard or car I offer to let them borrow tools. I even fixed one of my neighbors cars after his daughter swiped the side of their house.
I used to live in the Bay. I'm in small town USA in middle America now. I had my big city fun in life when I was younger so I'm happier now being in a chiller place and a safer place where more people own guns.
Long time Silicon Valley resident here, before covid-19 I was seeing SV becoming more of a "lonely place" with small stores along Bascom closing and less people in social ballroom dancing. Though ballroom dancing is a small group of people but relatively speaking it was much larger in 1990s. Cost of living and horrible traffic was such that everyone I knew that moved out of Bay Area increased their standard of living. While SV is famous for lots of engineers here, the type of engineering has changed drastically. There are no more electronics stores or Maker Faire type of events which in ways are the third places where people meet. I think covid-19 simply accelerated the trend of remote work and doing away of third places (places other than home or work) where people can meet in real life. I think the first thing to do when going outside home or work is PUT AWAY THE DAMN PHONE. You first meet people with eye contact.
Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I would love to learn more about what social gatherings like ballroom dancing were like in SV. It seems like you had some positive experiences from it. I’ve known people who have been involved with the maker faire here in the peninsula and agree that the growth of these communities has not kept in proportion to the population. What do you think could be a first step towards reigniting these social institutions?
Hi Michael. I happen to stumble upon your comment after watching this. Thanks for the dances at Starlite. ;-) I agree. Everyone needs to put away their phones. There are people everywhere to talk to if you notice them and have a curious mindset. People are very interesting once you get to know them at a deeper level. It's getting past the superficiality that's most challenging, but persistence pays off.
@@WilliamJimenez01 I don't know how to reignite these social institutions (otherwise, I would have already done it). I can share what I experienced and heard from others during that time. I look back at 1980s to now and it is basically two different "countries" and culture. Companies were booming (some go bust, but hey just go to another company), parking lots were full, many people tried startups though many fail but it doesn't mean lifetime of debt, lot there were lots of surplus electronics stores, lot of techies have get togethers. And there were lots of places to go social ballroom dancing. There were several dance studios and lounges. Starlite Sunnyvale was the largest (500 people on a Friday or Saturday night), Joe Metz was able to get that magical formula of taking many non-dancers and making them into ballroom dancers. Most were social, some went on to competition. But these places enabled people to mingle without the requirement to drink large amounts of alcohol. However many studios have disappeared, fortunately San Jose still has some: Starlite (on Moorpark), Studio M, Dance Blvd. Nearby also dancing at Cubberly Community Center, Dance Vita in Redwood City.
@@WilliamJimenez01 Continuing on with my observations, I think it is the social/economic construct that has been created over the years (due to several factors) is such that the only thing that is growing are mega-projects (big buildings, big homes), oh wait... all that has slowed down as the architects and planners (top management of governments and companies) have focused on high cost items. i.e. real estate market pushes large homes or luxury condos which the end game is living spaces that nobody can afford. Smaller businesses have to compete with deep pockets. In 2019 there was a panel discussion in Mountain View (in a small auditorium at city hall) that mentioned Google owns about 6% of real estate (many holdings were shell companies), this was five years ago and a rep for service workers asked how do lower wage people fit into the future planning? Getting back I think somehow a more balanced approach and a serious effort needs to be done for third places where people can mingle. There are such plans for cities with balance including many third places but these are like the new city billionaires want to create in Solano County. Problem is that is limited to wealthy people like Carmel. Common complaint is we don't have the money, but yet we witness how billions and billions are flowing from one place to another. I think top men need to re-think the economic models that have been created (unless the goal is a oligarchy). For rest of us, probably comes down to attending city council meetings which can be really dry where most time is spent discussing procedural matters.
@@tringu04 yep, Starlite is my go-to for Saturday nights, and sometimes Sunday nights. Get to interact with many without being required to buy alcohol (there is a party fee but it's dirt cheap). And the interaction is actually interact with people which AI cannot replicate.
San jose is really difficult to make friends. Everyone has a dark vibe. Not friendly by any means. The money is on their minds. Expensive had been around. Loneliness I have had no problem making friends outside the Bay Area. This area really needs to be open-minded on meeting pepole. Going to bars for myself I find myself alone trying to talk to strangers is uncomfortable or difficult. Some would look at you of being an outsider. Some would call a bar tender over because you sat one seat too close. It's a rude cuture expensive for no reason. And full of uninviting community through their churches social events and parks. San jose is indeed a sad place to be. Borders up windows. This place is to expensive to have an abandoned look. The needy on the streets makes it difficult to trust the safety. No one should be paying 7$ for a soda. The cuture might be diverse, divided mostly. San jose would of been nice if they kept the orchards, those days are far behind. A simple life is easy San jose makes living far more difficult and more complicated then it has to be.
The issue with Silicon Valley is very simple. You have a large influx of Chinese moving in & purchasing homes. Most of them keep it to themselves, most of them are not friendly people. Then you have the Indian people & those people have polarizing opposite cultures to the U.S. Before these people migrated to Silicon Valley, the local population use to be mainly all Caucasian people. In Sunnyvale, ca they use have block parties & all the neighbors knew each other. Today, nobody speaks to each other & the girl in green in correct, nobody knows each other. Silicon Valley is awful. I think the creativity is gone here. Not to mention it’s very expensive to live here.
This is becoming common all across this once great nation and it's no wonder why recruitment in the military is at an all time low. There's no point risking life and limb for a system and society with no semblance of family and community.
I've got do disagree. This is sounding pretty...well, racist. Some of the friendliest people I've met are from India and China. And this issue is prevalent all over the U.S. in majority white areas, too. (I know because I have family in those places, and I was born in the Midwest). It's too simplistic to blame certain ethnicities of people, especially since this issue is prevalent in majority-white areas, too. How's that Chinese and Indian peoples' fault?? If anything, the issue is folks being glued to their phones, parents being too paranoid to let their kids play outside (despite it being safer than it was in the 1990s), and folks spending most of their time doing structured or paid activities instead of more spontaneous and/or free and community-based things.
People in the Bay Area are extremely nice. I have had daily experience with every different walk of life here. They open up to me. They may not to everyone but they do with me. I wish everyone knew that just cause people look different- they are not very different at all. If you are a human - there is not much depth to you. You are not a supreme being. Be cordial if you cannot be nice. Smile even if they don’t. (The tourists are mostly the ones that smile and seem happy here ) People have a different ways of expression. I drove rideshare for 2 years and out of 5000 guests not one was upsetting. Not one was rude. Not one was scary. I think people want to open up but everyone is so “busy” here that it’s tough. Mix in the crime and potential weirdo vibes and it makes for a justifiable reclusiveness. Cool vid tho. 🏆
I live in Monterey where many Silicon Valley people are coming to retire "for the good weather" and they are bringing their awkwardness with them. They don't say hello and the only time you see them is when they open the garage door to drive off somewhere or if you happen to be their Uber Eats delivery person. Please learn to adjust to our friendly community by taking a chance and say hello back, or at least acknowledge that someone spoke to you. ❤ you might make a friend!
I am glad a left the NW, now I live in Texas. I met a lot of nice people here. It is safer than West Coast cities, a lot of families especially in South Texas, good weather and an appreciation for our individual freedoms and small businesses. They’re booming here!
I don't even do Zoom and am not sure what kind of setup I'd need to use it. I'm trying to avoid the issue as long as I can. I'm sticking with my dumb phone as long as I can too. I live in Silicon Valley and gross $20k a year. I live in the building I work in, and if I"m careful I can save about 1/3 of that gross income.
It's American hyperindividualism writ large. I go out and play street music when I have the time, and it's wonderful when little kids learn that music isn't just something that comes out of a speaker. It's enabled me to make some connections, and there are so many rewarding little moments, when I get a tip from some old ladies who were probably very surprised someone as young as I am (62 but I look a lot younger) knows "We'll Meet Again" or the shabby $5 put in my tip box by a kid who's maybe 12, and really regretting he didn't stick with Band, so, so, many, i could go on. But the only relationships within a whiff of being friendships are the friendship between the guy I work for who I'd known for years as a colleague before he became my employer, and the people I'm getting to know by ... getting religion. It's a religion to which 1000 years is a short time, and one that strongly emphasizes, even requires, doing much of the observances together. If you feel a link to, or a calling by, any religion, I suggest you try it out. Other things might be volunteering and that can be anything from volunteering at a food bank, or Good Karma Bikes (shoutout! I love 'em!) beach clean-up, anything.
Great reporting and interviews! As an aside: "Neoliberal democracy. Instead of citizens, it produces consumers. Instead of communities, it produces shopping malls. The net result is an atomized society of disengaged individuals who feel demoralized and socially powerless." ― Noam Chomsky
It’s not only Silicone Valley. This is happening everywhere. SF used to be a buzzing city, and now seems so quiet and scary out there. I do agree that my place is really comfortable, and I don’t feel the need to go out if I have to deal with angry/ dangerous people out there.
Stop blaming "Liberalism".... You think we'd be better if we go back into the Dark Ages where Conservatives are headed??? it's not about that -- It's bigger than your petty DESIRE TO DIVIDE WITH LIES!!! Quit LYING to yourself - that would be a good start.... If you don't you'll be more DISCONNECTED than anyone in this video!!!
Liberals are not issue that simple minded way of thinking about it tech is the issue the affluent folkz took over it and priced out all natives just for them to only stay couple 1-2 years and then move again tech workers usually don’t stay too long in one company many just use the jobs to move up in another company in different state or city which is not wrong but destroys communities and neighborhoods because a lot of them don’t stay long enough to build
Do you think the Hippies of the 1960's were conservative? They were the ones who created the California care-free liberal vide. It all started with them!
I grew up in an industrial city, moved to the Santa Clara Valley in '70...when it started to feel like another "company town" & being referred to as Silicon Valley, I left in '79,.
I’m so happy to have lived in SJ during the late 60s, early 70s. It was a great family city and a great place to grow up. It was affordable for middle class folks. I know I wouldn’t recognize it today
Silicon valley is where you go to work, that’s the point. You’re focused on innovation and new ideas in a boring landscape of office buildings. You can find many social connections in San Francisco and communities to join outside of work.
I live here and all this talk about improving public transportation to solve things is a huge dishonesty. There is public transportation but no one uses it because of the people virtually living on them.. drug addicts, threatening criminals etc.. its very unpleasant at best. You can have more of that but it wont touch these underlying issues. Anyway can confirm Silicon Valley is awful and the worst place ive ever lived and ive lived all over the world including 3rd and first world cities. Everyone I know are single and borderline suicidal. None have kids or family. Everyone sticks purely to their small ethnic group. Cost of living is astronomical. There is literally nothing to do even with millions of dollars let alone free government entertainment things like most other cities. The mood is grim and the problems are not solvable in the current political and social environment.
Another observation I noticed in Silicon Valley that makes it difficult to meet people here is that nobody really drinks. Over drinking has many, many disadvantages, but no one can deny that it helps people to be social. Everyone drives here or commutes super long distances, they want to rush back to the city and get the hell out of here when work ends. Growing up in Europe everyone in the office went to the local bar on a Friday. CEO to janitor all socialized on Fridays, most left their cars at home and took the bus or train in on Fridays so they could have a drink and hang out. Even before the pandemic offices in Silicon Valley were completely empty at 5pm cos everyone starts their long commutes. Yes a lot will continue to work from home after 5pm, but they generally have no interest in socializing.
I am surprised for the working at home environment, last year I was in Campbell, it's very quite in the shopping area, and I found my in-law was so isolated in relationship, maybe this is why.
I grew up in San Jose and friends come and go in a heartbeat. Most of these people move on without even remembering your name. You'd be lucky to hold onto one friend for life. The city itself is full of strangers you'll never see again. I have to agree that this city is pretty lonely. The only friends I have work at Burger Bar and House of Pizza.
Meetup groups. Look how they do it in other countries and how small towns do it. Language exchanges and international groups help build understanding of other cultures between local and foreigners
The problem is you are trying to chase the next dollar and too focused on your own problems to give an F about learning cultures and as we grow older we just further become who we are.
It is truly the simple act of speaking to your neighbor. If you work onsite somewhere, speak to your coworkers you pass in the halls. Being friendly is free.
It's because of the city design, car centric low density development, and the extreme zoning law of the US. When all you build is single family homes, and you zone your land such that you can't build anything else, and Comercial space need to be far away and driven to, you don't get the chance of meeting someone else on your way and have any sort of social interactions. In any normal city in the rest of the world, you would take public transport, and you do a lot kroe walking. You get a lot of chances meeting other people and have conversations. When you have to drive everywhere, everything becomes goal driving, you only go somewhere for a specific task, and you leave as soon as you are done. You don't get the chance to hangout and socialize with others.
Adding some more commentary... I think city planners should first ask in regards to new construction or modifications is what sort of third places can be added? (home is first place, work is second place, everything else i.e. where people mingle are third places). City planners should also focus on more trees because it mainly keeps streets, sidewalks, buildings next to streets shade providing much cooler environment. Plus looks much nicer than a concrete wall. For regular folk to engage more with city or county staff. Either attending council meetings or meeting various people at fairs, parades, whatever. Attending council meetings can be tough for many as these are during working hours, and also the meetings can be very dry with rules and procedures. There are some volunteering groups such as CERT or amateur radio emergency communication groups (however, the latter is mostly retirees). This provides insight on how police and fire function i.e. Incident Command System during a disaster. Then there are things like parades or art and wine festivals where you can meet elected officials, and also city employees. i.e. at the Santa Clara city Parade of Champions I chatted with some of the work crews (truck drivers, maintenance, etc.) to get insight of what their jobs are like. For most of us we have no idea what government people do except when they get into trouble with the courts, or save lives during a disaster. I think what is happening is Silicon Valley is becoming a myth in the same way as back in the days of cowboys was "go west." These days is like in 1890 when the Census Bureau declared the frontier is closed, all lands have been settled. These days it is ridiculous to do a startup in a garage like back in the 20th century. We have created an economic system where nothing is made and type of Silicon Valley work is done in front of a computer (why does Zoom have a multi-story office building). We can't reverse and go back to what things were in the days but some consideration of what social/economic model should be embraced. It should not be AI-generated stock options sales and marketing. What can be examined is what Mountain View and Sunnyvale did during covid. Close off the main streets to cars, wow it's just like what Europeans have been doing for years. Ssometimes these places have live bands, and these are wonderful third places for people to mingle. Just don't pull out the phone except briefly to let your friends know, "I'm here!"
This would be a good time to finally admit that "pandemic" measures were grave mistake which led to irreversible consequences yet to be fully appreciated.
Cities are not the norm in human history. We evolved to live in communities of about 150 people. Next consider the fertility rate collapse we see in advanced high density societies across the Wes. Japan, Korea, etc. If you break apart the data, it appears that rural populations, tend to maintain fertility rates that are sustainable.
A couple of comments. The high cost of living is a big factor. It has pushed people, especially families, far away from Silicon Valley, commuting 50 miles to the city center to socialize during an overpriced café meal is not worth it. Most of Silicon Valley is not a walkable city except for S.F. but that was before crime ruined the city. I suggest you do a search for this other UA-cam creator: "Elise: apartment hunt Silicon Valley 2024 | touring 9 apts w/ rent prices, tips (*mostly Sunnyvale)"
Appreciate the comments. Agree on walk scores contributing to social health. Cost of living I’ve heard over and over as well. But in contrast, New York also has high cost of living, but do its residents feel this way too? My experience in talking to friends and family who live in both places leads me to believe it’s not just classic economic factors like rent prices.
@@WilliamJimenez01 One advantage that NYC has is its population density combined with a subway system that practically eliminates the commute. The other advantage is that the subway system was developed 100 years ago, so there are no upfront costs, Silicon Valley is spread out, with little chance of becoming a high-density city. Rail transit systems in low density areas tend to fail with the typical critique that they go from nowhere to nowhere. If you were to develop a comparable rail transit today in Silicon Valley today, it would cost not billions but trillions of dollars. To create NYC style conditions in Silicon Valley you would have to convince all those high-tech companies to move their headquarters within a five-mile radius. Allow for high rise residential housing mixed with retail in the same area and develop a rail system to move those people within that five-mile area.
People in big tech came here and ran up the price of everything and you ask why nobody goes out ? I don’t live for work, I work to live and as soon as I can I’m leaving this place I was born / raised and not looking back.
You should really look into strong towns and some of the discussions they have on this topic. Much of these problems are directly related to the US' abandonment of traditional city building methods in favor of car-centric, heavily segregated land uses. There's no reason why shops and housing can't coexist, and even work centers could be better integrated into the community. This would help tremendously with getting people out of their houses and into their communities. Another great read on this topic is the death and life of great American cities by Jane Jacobs. She's kind of known as inventing the modem NIMBY movement, but I think that's a misnomer. She wasn't a NIMBY for development, she fought against projects that were destructive to her community, like highways and housing projects, rather than traditional development like rowhomes with shops on the bottom.
This is like nearly the entire US. At least these people have great weather and could participate in many outdoor activities where you would make instant friends like cycling or hiking
Meantime, small, Midwestern towns are enjoying a Renaissance. Beautiful, tree lined streets, charming, affordable homes, friendly neighbors, no homeless tents, farmers markets, community activities, and safe downtowns.
San Jose is a Sausage Party. To find a spouse, anywhere in the world outside the Bay Area is a better place to find a spouse . To cure the loneliness, get your Passport.
America isn't a family/community based society anymore and that's become the case even in the smaller towns in middle America as well. For those seeking human connection it's best to get their passport like you suggested and go elsewhere.
Remote work has allowed people to move to the community they want to be a part of, be it a less expensive place, move back near their family, move to a place where they want to be at. The issues of not socializing with a neighbor and "minding your own business" was here well before COVID. COVID forced people to check in with their expenses and it is natural that people decide to save money by not eating out or only spending money on essential needs. Everything is expensive, people no longer shop in a physical place = things have changed.
Hey! I’m over in Livermore, we have a farmers market thurs and Sunday. They close down the street to cars, it’s amazing just hanging out down there, soooo many people and food and music. I realize that a lot of cities aren’t like that, I feel very fortunate.
I remember potluck at the park back in the days. Definitely cheaper than going out to eat and pay a ridiculous amount. Great way to meet people. Wait...it's a bad idea, park is probably filled with tents.
I see you're new and i like your work. These suggestions and comments are all cut from the same cloth. Further accommodation is not the answer that's how they got into this position to begin with. Just for giggles imagine this abolishing the minimum wage, abolishing public transportation and abolishing income tax? Stop giving your money away to politicians who waste it. Keep your money and do with it what you want. If you want to go to a wine festival why should we have to all pay for it? Keep up the good work my friend 👍
The problem here is expecting the Bay Area to be the same as any other major city like New York. Each city within the Bay Area is its own place with its own unique environments. Also because a lot of these people are transplants, they don’t understand a lot of the cities they are in are primarily suburbs with no city center where people go to hang out. Also this video kind of skips over the fact that big tech has priced out a lot of communities and culture. With that how many people work within the city they live in.
I agree with Mr. Tsui about the Agrarian culture taking over these cities leading to loneliness. The rural lifestyle within the borders of a city is very unappealing. What's the point of living in a big city?
@SparkConversation I didn't say there was anything wrong with agrarianism in and of itself. I am referring to the culture of being isolated from others that can be compared to agrarian culture.
Really? I live here, and everywhere I go, it's crowded with way too many people. Traffic is horrible. Restaurants are filled to the brim with people. Most people don't work remotely, either. It's definitely way too expensive and too car-dependent, though. And great point about the culture of the Bay Area -- I think it's always been less social than some other regions. I don't agree with more facetime in the office being a solution, though. Frankly, less time in the office allows more time with folks you actually want to see. Great video!
Thanks for the comment! I agree with you, in one sense it doesn’t make sense. I see the same things you described living here. So what are the county supervisors in San Mateo seeing that causes them to be the only county among thousands across the US to determine there is a loneliness epidemic? Either there is something going on below the surface or the county is misreading the data. That should be the question residents like us are asking; IMO if our neighbors are truly suffering that much we should be deeply concerned about it.
The thing is, in American culture, once you turn 18, you're only valued by how much you make and your social status. Values, personality, interests, and hobbies don't matter. Especially if you're a guy. You are hardly seen as a human being. Rather, you are seen as an ATM machine and a step on the social status ladder. When you go to an organized social meetup chances are, these are the first questions that are asked of you and indeed whenever I tried to make friends I always get these questions: - "Where do you work?" - "What did you major in?" - "Do you have any siblings? How old?"
we dont feel safe to roam around the city anymore. and it doesn't help that we work in companies that spread us very thin and so we can't even go out to "take a break". in addition, the smell of car exhausts whose cars that should have honestly passed smog check shouldn't be on the road as they make our walking path smell. I can't even walk my dog without smelling the gassy fumes from the cars. For me, until these things change for the better, than I may be comfortable roaming the city again.
It also depends on where you live. If a city fails to protect its businesses due to lawlessness and homelessness. People don't want to live in big cities that have rampant crime. It's almost like Gotham city without Batman!
Is Silicon Valley downtown San Jose? I think of Palo Alto, Cupertino, Mountain View and Redwood City. Am I wrong? Well... just because an articulate and pretty normal UA-camr says it's lonely - that doesn't make it true for everyone. It is true that San Jose is a special case due to the pandemic cross over to remote work. I imagine results vary by age, gender, supported children and disposable income. I have a few coworkers who save all year long then travel abroad with friends. Another consideration is that some employers have recognition programs which result in - not usually outside-of-work friendships - but happy professional relationships. I'm in Livermore. I work in Tech. Not at the lab. I don't feel lonely.
Thanks for your comment. Seems fair that the cell phone has very suddenly and unexpectedly changed human behavior. What do you feel would be a better use of the technology? Is it worth keeping or would we be better off without it?
Big Tech breeds loneliness. What kind of culture can we expect from people who sit in dark rooms coding for fun.
i thought of the same thing. Programmers, foreign visa workers, engineers, bookworms… Downtown san jose is probably not the best place to hang out… Palo Alto which is 15mins away is where the wealth is at
Weird
I hear you but I’m a blue collar worker and live in a 3 unit building in San Francisco ; been here 1 year and don’t even know how the other tenants look 😅 . It’s only 6 people here too but everyone’s in their own world . I’m too busy with work and when I’m home, I’m busy with my hobbies/crafts/ gardening (all pretty anti-social things)
@@G_909 but atleast you could communicate perfectly if need be
@@DxModel219I think this is just a stereotype. Computer nerds also need social contact too even if they might be more awkward that other people.
It’s the death of “third places.” Home, workplace, and…no third place “where everyone knows your name.”
Bowling Alleys, Fraternal clubs such as the Elks, etc. You nailed it!
Thanks for the observation. In some industries there are only “one places” when work is combined with home. I don’t know if there is any historical precedent for communities to be organized without central gathering points. Could be a unique experiment in human history. That’s one of the reasons I think this topic is so interesting.
That's become the reality even in smaller towns.
@@WilliamJimenez01 Our suburban development pattern of the last 50 years is absolutely a unique point in human history. No society has ever segregated work, living, and retail in the extreme way that the US (and Canada) has. It's absolutely one of the main reasons there is a loneliness epidemic in the US (and Canada) and it's something that we should seek to rectify by changing zoning laws.
@@jamalgibson8139 I never thought society had segregated work, living, and retail.
America as a whole is a very lonely society. I lived in California for 4 decades. And now with the rising CRIMES, lawlessness and homelessness, America is an extremely weird country
Exactly, it is not public transit. There were no lack of people in downtown San Jose, Oakland and San Francisco. People stop going out when crime is too high. You see the people being interviewed here don’t even dare to talk about it. Sad.
I grew up in Hawaii and am white-appearing IE "haole". Now that's feeling lonely.
@@alexcarter8807 i was born in hawaii but im white so i feel you but im not hawaiian
BLM
Crime is not rising.
OK, I live in this area and I can tell you firsthand after living here for almost a decade why this is. Number one… It’s so expensive to live here that most people don’t have any time to socialize with any kind of depth. Yes, you may have an occasional dinner or Outing. But no one really has a time to invest to get to know each other on a deeper level. Number two. Because they’re such a heavy emphasis on the tech industry. You have a mass amount of people with industrial educations and certain brain types, and personalities, which create, a lack of diversity. Ethnic origin and color is not the only thing that defines diversity. This lack of diversity has had a horrendous effect on culture in the area. Pricing out and destroying creativity and art and artists. The majority of tech people only travel and eat food. But when you go to their overpriced homes?the walls are bare and they’re filled with cheap tasteless furniture. Their lack of supporting culture is destroying culture. I could go on, but those are the two main reasons.
This post drove the point more succinctly than the entire video.
Yes I live in Sunnyvale too and the comments above nailed it. I feel it's got worse recently cos there are so many tech workers out of work and they are staying home to preserve cash flow. Also I was in San Jose for a meeting at 9am and I was thinking about the hassle to get there find parking etc. The place was absolutely empty. It was like the height of covid never stopped there. Zero traffic, no one in any car park and every building I saw was still empty. It was never a buzzing place but it must be devastating for local business that there are no workers going to that city any more.
Born and raised here and you nailed it. High skill high paid professionals, most of whom are transplants from the other side of the country with no roots in the region, are a disproportionate % of the population, so the maladies they face stick out starkly in the statistics. If you go to some of the few working class immigrant communities left on the Peninsula you'll see they have no problems with social contact - yard parties, block parties, festivals, etc abound. Not to say they don't work extremely hard too, but they work to live. They don't have to maintain the Live to Work grindset facade professionals in tech, biotech, and medical fields have to.
I completely felt this moving to the area in 2014 from London. In London we had a range of friends (designers, artists, restaurant managers, tech, finance, etc) and it was incredibly easy to make new friends. In SF we noticed it suddenly became 10x harder to make new friends and people always seemed to be time poor. The older people of 40+ seemed to be more friendly and fun, so I can only put that down to younger generations carrying the stress of housing costs and being career focused. It seemed to me even then that many people were so lonely.
There is also some blame to be laid on people themselves. I have neighbors that invest zero time in simple gestures like saying "Hi", simply ignoring your neighbors reinforces this idea that you can just ignore everyone around you.
OMG you nailed. I grew up in the valley too.
I lived there two years. it was trash. I moved from LA i saw through that facade in 3 seconds. I hated my time there, its like they hated actual culture in san jose. Everything was so Tech centric, all the landlords want a piece of that google money so the rents are stupid high for a place thats blander than most of orange county. the entire place shuts down by like 8/9pm. the bars and locals are weird caught between being rich or struggling to survive.
LA is just as bad lol people are superficial and show offs and materialistic lol at least the bay has nature redwoods and ocean to reground us. And for us minorities we have to worry about the gangs issue yall have can’t be wearing certain clothes or hats so that just adds a stress in itself. I’d say your coastal towns is SoCal are fun but LA itself is boring if your not spending a lot of money and yes we got cheap taco stands too no different but restaurants we the same a lot options
La is to massive though; u probably have family over there 👍
In LA everything since Covid, closes down early. NO local coffee house, even to go to. No night school classes. Community arts education is gone. Anything for seniors or disabled is considered not important and billions go to the homeless, who make the place unsafe. It really is a bad situation
I lived in Palo Alto in the 70s and later was in SF for a while. It was terrific... just as people are describing it. Then back to LA for work (uck, but it was ok). Now I am OLD. Thought I'd move back to Bay Area but now hear how expensive it is, how crappy it is, don't see that (altho I have a few old good friends and a cousin there). LA is crap too. People are unfriendly, and as you say, no third place to meet. Things close really early since Covid. I don't get that as there are plenty of people with nothing to do, I'm sure. Would love to settle in a place with a feeling of community and an evening yoga class or two, and ceramics. Seems actually impossible to find low key stuff like that now.
The Bay Area is not the same 30 years ago. People are very selfish, miserable ,and greedy. They think they are so rich and above everyone else.
I live in concord .. whenever I go to San Jose downtown for an event , I can’t wait to get out of there . People smoking crack on the street. Homeless people walking around dragging carts of filthy garbage bags .. endless parking garages , but nobody out on the street doing any normal , ‘neighborhood ‘ activities like jogging , speed walking , playing a instrument , eating ice cream in an outdoor cafe on the sidewalk . It’s creepy ..they could film a dystopian post apocalyptic movie at 10:00 am any given Tuesday downtown . The city has no soul , Just my experience.
Thanks for sharing your experience. The "dystopian" feeling you described really makes me pause and reflect on why our cities are this way.
@@WilliamJimenez01I have all the answers. It has to do with big tech 10000000% smaller towns people are more friendly outgoing ect. I can keep elaborating with real proof.
Sounds like you were in Oakland, because I didn’t see any homeless people in SJ 🤔 They’re hidden for the most part. Or maybe they’re more on the east side of the city, as I heard that’s where the ghettos allegedly are.
@@WilliamJimenez01 My town is not that way. Seems mostly that way on the Coasts.
Also because there is a huge sex ratio imbalance of Too Many Men this tends to cause a lack of nightlife because why would single men want to go out to a sausage fest?
The social settings are dying. Rents are way too high, businesses are leaving and face it, people did not start going there back in the 1980s to make friends. They went there to make money. It all caught up with the area.
Honestly that’s why I left San Francisco, which is something I NEVER thought I would do after moving across the country in 2012 to be there. I was sold on city life in SF in 2010, before the smartphone was ubiquitous, before antisocial media was tweaked to be all-consuming in terms of attention-stealing, and the stories about how warm and welcoming San Francisco used to be are all true, and I couldn’t get enough of it as a guy who grew up in the suburbs as the gay kid or the odd kid, or the kid marching to his own drum. It was wonderful, meeting people was so easy and fun, and then the smartphone took over, the earbuds went in, the noses became glued to the phones, and it became less and less like that, in combination to thousands and thousands of people coming in from all over the world to work in one specific industry, and not because they wanted to become part of the social fabric of the area, and it just made rents and costs absolutely skyrocket. It was like watching a cultural murder happen in slow motion. Now, because so many people up there are so transient and so often don’t feel as though they plan to make it their home for years or decades into the future, they vote in and otherwise allow terrible policy, like no-questions-asked permitting of theft and other terribly damaging antisocial behaviors, which further degrades the quality of life and creates just a horrible environment to function in in any way, and they allow these things to go on because so much of the population is transient and has such limited skin in the game, since they’re not planning on staying anyway. San Francisco and the surrounding environs put all their eggs in one tech basket and pumped millions of dollars into it for a good decade plus, to the exclusion of basically everything else, and that was also a mistake, because as we now see, the day was going to come when remote work would make it so that many ‘Silicon Valley jobs’ could be done from anywhere with an internet connection. The dust has only just begun to settle in SF, and it’s a real guess as to what it will look like and feel like when it does, but the culture it had before 2012, 2013 and the rising ubiquity of personal tech is not something that’s going to be so easy to just turn back on. I hope it does get its act together, for the sake of so many who would have a vastly more fulfilled life in the social atmosphere it used to claim as uniquely its own, not this perverse facade its currently functioning behind. The downfall of such a place should bring joy to nobody.
Great analysis.
As someone born in sf and moved away . I still come back to visit family and this is a great explanation of what happened to my beloved city. These people moved to sf for a career, not to be apart of the vibrant city.
You really explained how SF changed. I lived in SF in 92-94 and that was when the artists left due to the rise in rents and tech. Again I lived there in 2007 -09’. That was the death 💀 era of bookstores, lol. All over SF we lost so many cool old Beat/Hippie businesses, herbal/occult book store type shops gone. End of an era. 💔
@@damsel72 Where did the artists and interesting people go?
Its a bigger issue in the united states. The culture is so materialistic and most people seem to only care about that and worship that lifestyle. Americans need to travel outside the country to get more perspectives and a lot of americans dont have a passport or leave their state.
True I lived globally the poorer people are always more happy
@SparkConversation In people all over there world there is an urge to explore. This transcends nationality...There are people who would like to know and explore outside of what is familiar to them. And there are many ways of doing this if you have the passion to do it and are open minded. Keeping up with the joneses in this matter doesnt exactly apply because a lot of americans dont even leave the country.
The purpose of travel is for joy and also to gain other perspectives to help you improve yourself and find solutions to everyday challenges in different ways. It also helps you become a better problem solver, more skilled socially and at communication. It also makes you more confident, tolerant, adaptable, couragous and wise.
New points of view are gathered and integrated. Views about other cultures, ways of life, attitudes, systems, languages etc...All these perspectives can point to other ways to improve the challenges within our own country and also to help you regonize the strengths within them. There is over one hundred countries in the world, within countries there different regions, cities, towns etc..
As well as affordability well it really depends what we spend money on. A lot of people spend money on things to impress other people and have all types of expenses not out of necesity. A lot of people could do things to cut expenses but they do not, because they are too comfortable with certain spending habits or their whole identity is built around what they have. If instead travel was also valued then money could be saved for that. If you really want something you will create a way.
I see that you do not seem to think or want to travel so if that works for you good for you.
🎯
As a worldwide traveler over my 60 plus years on this planet, I have never understood the European "flex" of the trope that most Americans don't have a passport. There are still things in the US and Canada I want to see but haven't seen yet.
Most Americans can't afford to travel across their own country much less to another country and I'm not talking just the ones earning below poverty wages.
It's now too expensive to eat out. I don't understand why we are still socially forced to tip when waiters earn $25 an hour .
I've heard from many people I talk to that cost of living, especially food prices, are making our cities less livable.
I don't believe none of that nonsense that waiters make $25 an hour. I'm sure they are not working full time 40 hours a week.. I highly doubt it.
Don’t tip, problem solved. I rarely do anymore, gotta put your foot down at some point
What? waiters at table-service restaurants don’t earn $25 an hour in wages. Not even close.
Not true at all
The problem is many of these tech people are not married and don’t have children. The Bay Area is so outrageously expensive, crime ridden, and money driven, that raising children in that environment is out of the question. Compare the Bay Area to places like Boise, SLC, Omaha, Austin, Phoenix, these cities have more families, that are making these cities vibrant and alive. Compare that to the major cities of the Bay Area, San Francisco-Oakland-San Jose, where families are leaving in droves. A child centered culture, is alive, vibrant, has a future. Whereas a culture driven by greed, money, self centered, and lack of empathy dies. Technology doesn’t bring true happiness.
I have always been social by nature. When my wife moved away for school we realized how friendly people were outside of the Bay Area. Strangers walking down the street would just say good morning. We were taken aback by how friendly people were. I adopt that behavior whenever I am out biking. I always greet or nod at people on the trails whether they are walking or biking. Only about half of the people respond.
@@mocheen4837 You can literally drive an hour outside the Bay Area, inland and into the Central Valley and Sierra Foothills and see the difference. More families, more people greeting you as you walk by, people are in general more friendly and relaxed, the weather is warmer and that makes people less depressed.
The Bay Area is filled with self absorbed, self centered, anti social, non empathetic, arrogant, and intolerant people.
I think technology has us going in the wrong direction, alas. But the young grow up with it, so they will hardly rebel against it and say hay, this is not a good way to live.
@@mvann5 Agreed, instead of bringing people together, technology/social media is tearing people apart. That is definitely an unintended consequence.
On May 11th I met up with my best friend from 81’ high school in Lafayette, CA . The people were all friendly and the staff of every restaurant and coffee house I went to was kind and respectful. That’s not the experience you would ever find in SF, SJ, or LA. Those cities have the rudest staff . They aren’t even timid about giving you attitude and dropping you right in the middle of a sentence while ordering .
Come to Miami and you’ll rethink your statement 😂
I’ve lived in the Bay Area over forty years, before tech. In my opinion tech has little to do with it. This is not something that’s due to external circumstances. In my opinion the people are intelligent, friendly, know what to say, generally are compassionate, etc. The problem is they lack authenticity and loyalty. They have commitment issues. Dare I say that they are shallow? The reality is they don’t practice what they preach. Their flaky. If you invite them for any reason, they will wait to see if something better comes up, then flake out on you. They will judge you in every way, then find a reason to keep their distance. They are self centered and selfish, really only caring about themselves and how everything affects them. They seem to have a comfort level they’re not willing to exceed. They also have an air of specialness . Are they afraid to expose their own shortcomings, aware of how THEY judge others? Friendships come with a certain level of vulnerability, you have to be real to others, not pretend or fake. You have to risk not being accepted. Friendships are a bond and a pact, and with that comes a certain level of responsibility. You have to maintain the friendship, have respect, loyalty, etc. I can tell you the place I came from is a place that is a polar opposite. This unwillingness to engage or befriend others, this aloofness is at an all time high and on a whole other level.
This is what happens when you have too many intelligent people, they tend to overthink things.
But you are correct.
RIGHT ON!
This is how typical elitists behave.
In STEM education we call that imposter syndrome. No surprise it bleeds into every facet of life for the tech bros...
Ask questions with your heart ask people questions about themselves. Ask you newbies questions. Show interest in others. Asking questions about others is showing love. How can you expect others to be interested in you if you’re not interested in them?
Thanks for sharing a practical suggestion!
Not surprising that a metro filled with introverted and career-focused young men is lonely. Sad though
Loneliness has always been a problem everywhere especially in western culture
It's been especially bad for the past forty some odd years though.
Tech is destroying human connectedness. It's chilling to be in public watching people totally divorced from reality.
Tek has been a big mistake, for the most part. How to get people to admit that and go BACK to human interaction, I don't know. I am one of the new Luddites, tho....
I talked my brother to moving to Austin back in the late 90s. He did, met and married, owns a home with two kids. Austin has grown up to become a big city by leaps and bounds, is less affordable but has kept its social community feel.
Loneliness is a self-inflicted state of mind of the entitled. Depression follows them. Bay area has so much nature and great weather, unlike NYC. Go out and enjoy nature.
Not in the suburbs
@@grimsquad273 But there's plenty of nature within just a few miles of the suburbs. Some suburbs (like Los Gatos, Evergreen, and Los Altos Hills) are literally in the mountains.
Nature is rad. I'm in the "industrial" area around brokaw and Zanker, and I've seen things like a beautiful female kestrel preening her tail, ants swarming (looked like coffee grounds) I "check in" with a (female or juvenile) night heron who lives behind H Mart, seen one of those wasps that catches a spider and "zombifies" it doing its routine, seen a turkey vulture with its wings spread out to catch some sun when it was still chilly in the morning, and I have this obsession with finding out of there are triops living in this sort of planned community's water feature. And if not, introducing some.
I seen that Heron there too! Lol. Don’t forget the cats out front. They love hmart sashimi
…a native of the Bay Area, born in Mt. View 54 years ago. My family bounced around the 70’s and 80’s between Tokyo, Manila, London and our main residence in Atherton. Pop’s office was in Milpitas so I had experienced the growth of the Silicon Valley with San Jose as its anchor despite is lackluster appeal which is its appeal to the tech world. But being openly gay and not in the tech industry, I somehow ended up in Campbell but 6 years later i was back in Atherton across the street from my folks .San Jose was never exciting to say the least but it was good for innovation, a hodgepodge of intellectual work force from all over the world. Together with universities up and down the Bay it was the perfect set up to what is now the Silicon Valley. I lovingly refer to it as the most expensive vacuum for it sucks and it sucked me back for I’m refurbishing my family’s old horse ranch in the east foothills isolated from the hullabaloo of the chaos has just been ideal.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. Hope you were able to learn something new from the documentary.
Interesting experience you have. I was thinking everyone around the world knows of San Francisco but nobody knows of San Jose (and that's where the money is and start of Silicon Valley). Then there's the song "Do You Know The Way to San Jose" written by Hal David when he briefly stopped in San Jose in 1960s. I am sure you saw what they did with downtown Mountain View in 1980s, later blocked off Castro St to cars making it a nice third place like the Europeans.
I moved from Sunnyvale to NYC and the problem went away immediately
People in the Bay Area are not very friendly at all. I grew up in San Francisco and have always been social. There was not a place that I could go to where I did not bump into someone that I knew. As I got older I started to notice that people were not as friendly. I was always able to strike up a conversation with a stranger whenever I was out. I still do but not as easily. Most people today do not want to stop and chat. People are too self absorbed, entitled and buried in their smart phone.
@@kimeiga thanks for sharing. How interesting! What was the biggest difference you saw after moving to NYC?
Having a normal amount of fun on most days instead of no fun for a long time and a bunch of short fun on one weekend and then driving home
It's about disconnecting people from one another directly and, initially, connecting them to one another via machines as an intermediary. Then, ultimately, connecting people just to machines and no longer to one another, since AI can be trained on human behavior and be able to serve as an equivalent (or "better") substitute for humans. And, what's the purpose of this? To monetize all human social needs and interactions, to serve the unquenchable thirst for corporate profit. Is government complicit in this trend? Of course, since government parasitically feeds off of the profits of the tech corporations via taxation and is, therefore, a willing partner in the dehumanization of society. So, rather than being part of some insidious conspiracy, what we are seeing unfold is a natural consequence of the incentive structures that exist in our society, and the only way to interrupt this trend would be to reform the incentive structures, which necessarily means reforming capitalism. Unless this is done, we are headed for a guaranteed dystopian future where capital is constantly misallocated to the development of ever more powerful machines while increasing numbers of impoverished and destitute people survive in tents on the sidewalks of our cities.
Being lonely (alone) in a crowd is one of the worse feelings you can have.
This seems like a very insightful and honest observation. Thanks for sharing!
It's becoming a reality even in the areas you'd never think it would be.
Having trouble feeling independent in a crowd? Is it a self esteem thing, B.O. thing, or fear of suffocation?
As long as we have extremely high rents and real estate we're screwed.
Loneliness is the LEAST of a city’s problem.. crime, high rent, public safety, better paying jobs.. those are more important.
Lonelines is what keeps the "ladies of the night" of that area in business.
Haha even in this day and age, streetwalkers are a thing. Check on 1st street around Gish station.
FIX THE FREAKING CRIME FIRST.
I love my house (my temple). I work from home as I work out at home. I've never been happier and healthier ( I don't get sick, as I eat much better at home). I think that some people are somehow trying to cling to a past that no longer exists nowadays.
You seem anti-social.
@@legacyjeetkunedo492 the pandemic just showed me that things can work this way and I've liked it.
I think tech lifestyle will be seen by future generations like we view the cocktail generation. It seems to work in the moment, but it's not healthy for most people. That being said, American is the land of, 'it worked for this one person so there is no problem at all' mentality.
You sound like an introvert. Not everyone is like that.
@@Starfish2145 but a lot of people are.
32 years in the Valley, I left after retirement. None of the people I met keep in touch with me even though I was the one try to text them during major holidays. That just the way the Valley is, people don’t show their true-self.
The issue of feeling lonely or loneliness is an individual issue but is affected by its surrounding. I've been living in SF Bay Area/Silcon Valley and love it here but there's are areas that it can improve upon. It is the most diverse in many aspects - culture, career-industry, arts, music, outdoors, lifestyle, food, self-improvements, activities, etc A lot of different industries thrives here, not just tech but tech is the biggest. I work in the tech industry. It has benefitted me in my career that don't even exist in many part of the US or the world. But I always strive for work-life balance, and many companies try to implement that. I've adjusted to the high cost of living, cause of excellent work/career opportunities. I don't think I'll be making same income anywhere else in the world - and you need to have a wide perspective to understand that - NOWHERE else in the world. But its not a perfect place or even close to utopian setting that many idealist clamor for - no place like that exists. Try to leave outside SF Bay area/Silicon Valley and you think you'll find happiness - maybe you will but with less opportunities if you are a professional in tech or other high end careers. That is a trade off you must accept, and you have to ask yourself, do you feel happy with your decision leaving Silicon Valley, are you in a better spot? if you are, stop complaining about lower income or less opportunities in your chosen location. There are other places that are even trying to compete or even build their economics based or something that mirrors Silicon Valley. Take the Dallas-Austin area, and Phoenix area. These are Silicon Valley influenced places, literally companies that moved out of SV or have a branch in those areas. If you feel lonely in SV, its the least of your worries. Go out there and discover the whole Bay Area, and you will be surprised. It has to come from the individual, a lot of your answers is already in place but you need to reach out and discover. For me, that's exactly what I did and found so many surprises that helped me realize what a wonderful region of CA that is unlike anywhere else in the world. I really appreciate that and feel thankful and feel lucky, and yes feel happy in many levels.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I appreciate that you focus on the many benefits of the Bay Area while acknowledging the challenges. That’s refreshing in a culture that is happy to label something as good or bad, success or failure without appreciating the complexity. Again really appreciate your time watching and contribution to the discussion.
Thought provoking!
When I was living in San Jose. I was the happiest I could be. Not just because it has so much to offer but I lived near the emerald green hills Morrill ave. I would jog to the hills different times of the day and go through the neighborhoods and to the hills. Feeling the fresh crips air it felt so nice. I cried when I left the bay. That’s where my heart was left. But I can see why many are leaving. It’s getting more expensive and those that stay many experience loneliness. This is also because many have to work. To keep up with the high rents.
San Francisco's tech sector/downtown is struggling but the culture is still thriving. It's a city with tons going on, great history and urban fabric. San Jose is just office parks and parking lots.
People who are content with their lives don't make good consumers..
this is both true and false. I don't like buying junk, but I do like supporting local businesses and having fun experiences.
@@ehoops31yeah I am from the bay area and always go to thrifts and the local bookstores...
I prefer online shopping but I want to go out and meet more people.
*I now live in Carson city Nevada
A very important point was totally left out ... Drinking. When you're young especially you like to go out for a few drinks . Meet freinds or make new freinds. Well with DUIs for having one beer. People just say the hell with it. And atay home.
I was born in San Francisco and raised in Sunnyvale. Lived in San Jose for 5 years. Moved to Portland during the pandemic and haven't looked back. Portland has its issues but the difference is that it's cheaper here and there are more communities you can live in where you get the small town feeling a bit more than what exists in the Bay Area. There are more people here that work in a variety of careers and not just tech. So some people socialize and interact more often. The issue of loneliness is more a problem with the younger generation because of work from home options and post pandemic disconnect. People are still wearing masks in some cases. The absence of religion and other traditional places of community also leads to a lonely environment. Apps and games have people addicted to phones and electronic devices. In Oregon, small towns seem to be more attractive for families so that leaves the cities with younger people who go to bars, events and restaurants. However, most are already in existing social circles which makes it difficult to find friends. Logically when people first come to a city they go to downtown areas for entertainment. Portland's downtown is slowly coming back but still very empty these days. Seems to me the places of business are thriving outside of traditional downtown areas and more towards neighborhoods that have cafes, food trucks and festivals. This is where I see the most interaction among people. In San Jose, it's just not a neighborhood kind of place. Too spread out and not enough places for people to go outside of downtown and Santana Row. If you want to hang around a lot of pretentious people, the Santana Row venue is your place, but it lacks anyone with authenticity and hardly a place I would call a real neighborhood. San Jose is simply not worth the costs of living there when you can go to so many other places and experience a much better quality of life.
Thanks for your in depth observation. I’m glad that Portland is doing better. Historically some societal norms that have started in the Bay Area (blue jeans, personal computers, social media) have spread to the rest of the country. I hope this is one that doesn’t, and that’s why I want to raise awareness so we can all be the change we want to see in our communities.
Nothing meaningful in your life will happen looking at a screen. No families, no future. Look to the beautiful old towns and villages in Europe as an ideal. They are oriented around community and social interaction.
neighborhood bars use to be a social setting....that died...same with coffee shops and bowling alleys....dead..
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Thanks for sharing. I just started reading a book that makes the same observation about bowling alleys. It’s called Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community.
There's a lot of contributing factors to this with inflation not keeping up with the cost of living being part of it.
I know most of my neighbors and I always speak to them in passing. If they are working on their yard or car I offer to let them borrow tools. I even fixed one of my neighbors cars after his daughter swiped the side of their house.
I used to live in the Bay. I'm in small town USA in middle America now. I had my big city fun in life when I was younger so I'm happier now being in a chiller place and a safer place where more people own guns.
Long time Silicon Valley resident here, before covid-19 I was seeing SV becoming more of a "lonely place" with small stores along Bascom closing and less people in social ballroom dancing. Though ballroom dancing is a small group of people but relatively speaking it was much larger in 1990s. Cost of living and horrible traffic was such that everyone I knew that moved out of Bay Area increased their standard of living. While SV is famous for lots of engineers here, the type of engineering has changed drastically. There are no more electronics stores or Maker Faire type of events which in ways are the third places where people meet. I think covid-19 simply accelerated the trend of remote work and doing away of third places (places other than home or work) where people can meet in real life.
I think the first thing to do when going outside home or work is PUT AWAY THE DAMN PHONE. You first meet people with eye contact.
Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I would love to learn more about what social gatherings like ballroom dancing were like in SV. It seems like you had some positive experiences from it. I’ve known people who have been involved with the maker faire here in the peninsula and agree that the growth of these communities has not kept in proportion to the population. What do you think could be a first step towards reigniting these social institutions?
Hi Michael. I happen to stumble upon your comment after watching this. Thanks for the dances at Starlite. ;-) I agree. Everyone needs to put away their phones. There are people everywhere to talk to if you notice them and have a curious mindset. People are very interesting once you get to know them at a deeper level. It's getting past the superficiality that's most challenging, but persistence pays off.
@@WilliamJimenez01 I don't know how to reignite these social institutions (otherwise, I would have already done it). I can share what I experienced and heard from others during that time. I look back at 1980s to now and it is basically two different "countries" and culture. Companies were booming (some go bust, but hey just go to another company), parking lots were full, many people tried startups though many fail but it doesn't mean lifetime of debt, lot there were lots of surplus electronics stores, lot of techies have get togethers. And there were lots of places to go social ballroom dancing. There were several dance studios and lounges. Starlite Sunnyvale was the largest (500 people on a Friday or Saturday night), Joe Metz was able to get that magical formula of taking many non-dancers and making them into ballroom dancers. Most were social, some went on to competition. But these places enabled people to mingle without the requirement to drink large amounts of alcohol. However many studios have disappeared, fortunately San Jose still has some: Starlite (on Moorpark), Studio M, Dance Blvd. Nearby also dancing at Cubberly Community Center, Dance Vita in Redwood City.
@@WilliamJimenez01 Continuing on with my observations, I think it is the social/economic construct that has been created over the years (due to several factors) is such that the only thing that is growing are mega-projects (big buildings, big homes), oh wait... all that has slowed down as the architects and planners (top management of governments and companies) have focused on high cost items. i.e. real estate market pushes large homes or luxury condos which the end game is living spaces that nobody can afford. Smaller businesses have to compete with deep pockets. In 2019 there was a panel discussion in Mountain View (in a small auditorium at city hall) that mentioned Google owns about 6% of real estate (many holdings were shell companies), this was five years ago and a rep for service workers asked how do lower wage people fit into the future planning? Getting back I think somehow a more balanced approach and a serious effort needs to be done for third places where people can mingle. There are such plans for cities with balance including many third places but these are like the new city billionaires want to create in Solano County. Problem is that is limited to wealthy people like Carmel. Common complaint is we don't have the money, but yet we witness how billions and billions are flowing from one place to another. I think top men need to re-think the economic models that have been created (unless the goal is a oligarchy). For rest of us, probably comes down to attending city council meetings which can be really dry where most time is spent discussing procedural matters.
@@tringu04 yep, Starlite is my go-to for Saturday nights, and sometimes Sunday nights. Get to interact with many without being required to buy alcohol (there is a party fee but it's dirt cheap). And the interaction is actually interact with people which AI cannot replicate.
San jose is really difficult to make friends. Everyone has a dark vibe. Not friendly by any means. The money is on their minds. Expensive had been around. Loneliness I have had no problem making friends outside the Bay Area. This area really needs to be open-minded on meeting pepole. Going to bars for myself I find myself alone trying to talk to strangers is uncomfortable or difficult. Some would look at you of being an outsider. Some would call a bar tender over because you sat one seat too close. It's a rude cuture expensive for no reason. And full of uninviting community through their churches social events and parks. San jose is indeed a sad place to be. Borders up windows. This place is to expensive to have an abandoned look. The needy on the streets makes it difficult to trust the safety. No one should be paying 7$ for a soda. The cuture might be diverse, divided mostly. San jose would of been nice if they kept the orchards, those days are far behind. A simple life is easy San jose makes living far more difficult and more complicated then it has to be.
Loneliness is a problem across america, i think. I moved out of California many years ago and it's also a problem in my state.
The issue with Silicon Valley is very simple. You have a large influx of Chinese moving in & purchasing homes. Most of them keep it to themselves, most of them are not friendly people. Then you have the Indian people & those people have polarizing opposite cultures to the U.S. Before these people migrated to Silicon Valley, the local population use to be mainly all Caucasian people. In Sunnyvale, ca they use have block parties & all the neighbors knew each other. Today, nobody speaks to each other & the girl in green in correct, nobody knows each other. Silicon Valley is awful. I think the creativity is gone here. Not to mention it’s very expensive to live here.
Spot on!
I'm Caucasian but I'm not YOUR kind of Caucasian.
This is becoming common all across this once great nation and it's no wonder why recruitment in the military is at an all time low. There's no point risking life and limb for a system and society with no semblance of family and community.
I've got do disagree. This is sounding pretty...well, racist. Some of the friendliest people I've met are from India and China. And this issue is prevalent all over the U.S. in majority white areas, too. (I know because I have family in those places, and I was born in the Midwest). It's too simplistic to blame certain ethnicities of people, especially since this issue is prevalent in majority-white areas, too. How's that Chinese and Indian peoples' fault?? If anything, the issue is folks being glued to their phones, parents being too paranoid to let their kids play outside (despite it being safer than it was in the 1990s), and folks spending most of their time doing structured or paid activities instead of more spontaneous and/or free and community-based things.
People in the Bay Area are extremely nice. I have had daily experience with every different walk of life here. They open up to me. They may not to everyone but they do with me. I wish everyone knew that just cause people look different- they are not very different at all. If you are a human - there is not much depth to you. You are not a supreme being. Be cordial if you cannot be nice. Smile even if they don’t. (The tourists are mostly the ones that smile and seem happy here ) People have a different ways of expression. I drove rideshare for 2 years and out of 5000 guests not one was upsetting. Not one was rude. Not one was scary. I think people want to open up but everyone is so “busy” here that it’s tough. Mix in the crime and potential weirdo vibes and it makes for a justifiable reclusiveness. Cool vid tho. 🏆
I live in Monterey where many Silicon Valley people are coming to retire "for the good weather" and they are bringing their awkwardness with them. They don't say hello and the only time you see them is when they open the garage door to drive off somewhere or if you happen to be their Uber Eats delivery person. Please learn to adjust to our friendly community by taking a chance and say hello back, or at least acknowledge that someone spoke to you. ❤ you might make a friend!
I am glad a left the NW, now I live in Texas. I met a lot of nice people here. It is safer than West Coast cities, a lot of families especially in South Texas, good weather and an appreciation for our individual freedoms and small businesses. They’re booming here!
Good one
Please come and make a similar movie in San Francisco. Would love to help / participate if I could and I have a few specific ideas.
The problem is sprawl and car dependency.
I don't even do Zoom and am not sure what kind of setup I'd need to use it. I'm trying to avoid the issue as long as I can. I'm sticking with my dumb phone as long as I can too. I live in Silicon Valley and gross $20k a year. I live in the building I work in, and if I"m careful I can save about 1/3 of that gross income.
Diversity tends to bring loneliness, yeah not nice to say but the book Bowling Alone, explained it without even meaning too.
Wow excellent video ❤
It's American hyperindividualism writ large. I go out and play street music when I have the time, and it's wonderful when little kids learn that music isn't just something that comes out of a speaker. It's enabled me to make some connections, and there are so many rewarding little moments, when I get a tip from some old ladies who were probably very surprised someone as young as I am (62 but I look a lot younger) knows "We'll Meet Again" or the shabby $5 put in my tip box by a kid who's maybe 12, and really regretting he didn't stick with Band, so, so, many, i could go on.
But the only relationships within a whiff of being friendships are the friendship between the guy I work for who I'd known for years as a colleague before he became my employer, and the people I'm getting to know by ... getting religion. It's a religion to which 1000 years is a short time, and one that strongly emphasizes, even requires, doing much of the observances together. If you feel a link to, or a calling by, any religion, I suggest you try it out.
Other things might be volunteering and that can be anything from volunteering at a food bank, or Good Karma Bikes (shoutout! I love 'em!) beach clean-up, anything.
Great reporting and interviews!
As an aside:
"Neoliberal democracy. Instead of citizens, it produces consumers. Instead of communities, it produces shopping malls. The net result is an atomized society of disengaged individuals who feel demoralized and socially powerless." ― Noam Chomsky
It’s not only Silicone Valley. This is happening everywhere. SF used to be a buzzing city, and now seems so quiet and scary out there. I do agree that my place is really comfortable, and I don’t feel the need to go out if I have to deal with angry/ dangerous people out there.
The great vibe of life in California in the 60s is over & its never coming back. It devoured itself w/ liberalism.
White Greed? It can come back. It has World class geography.
Stop blaming "Liberalism".... You think we'd be better if we go back into the Dark Ages where Conservatives are headed??? it's not about that -- It's bigger than your petty DESIRE TO DIVIDE WITH LIES!!! Quit LYING to yourself - that would be a good start.... If you don't you'll be more DISCONNECTED than anyone in this video!!!
Liberals are not issue that simple minded way of thinking about it tech is the issue the affluent folkz took over it and priced out all natives just for them to only stay couple 1-2 years and then move again tech workers usually don’t stay too long in one company many just use the jobs to move up in another company in different state or city which is not wrong but destroys communities and neighborhoods because a lot of them don’t stay long enough to build
White greed is def part of it
Do you think the Hippies of the 1960's were conservative?
They were the ones who created the California care-free liberal vide.
It all started with them!
I grew up in an industrial city, moved to the Santa Clara Valley in '70...when it started to feel like another "company town" & being referred to as Silicon Valley, I left in '79,.
Lived there in the 70s and 80s. Great place to live. Now full of greed, wokeness
I’m so happy to have lived in SJ during the late 60s, early 70s. It was a great family city and a great place to grow up. It was affordable for middle class folks. I know I wouldn’t recognize it today
Silicon valley is where you go to work, that’s the point. You’re focused on innovation and new ideas in a boring landscape of office buildings. You can find many social connections in San Francisco and communities to join outside of work.
I live here and all this talk about improving public transportation to solve things is a huge dishonesty. There is public transportation but no one uses it because of the people virtually living on them.. drug addicts, threatening criminals etc.. its very unpleasant at best. You can have more of that but it wont touch these underlying issues. Anyway can confirm Silicon Valley is awful and the worst place ive ever lived and ive lived all over the world including 3rd and first world cities. Everyone I know are single and borderline suicidal. None have kids or family. Everyone sticks purely to their small ethnic group. Cost of living is astronomical. There is literally nothing to do even with millions of dollars let alone free government entertainment things like most other cities. The mood is grim and the problems are not solvable in the current political and social environment.
Another observation I noticed in Silicon Valley that makes it difficult to meet people here is that nobody really drinks. Over drinking has many, many disadvantages, but no one can deny that it helps people to be social. Everyone drives here or commutes super long distances, they want to rush back to the city and get the hell out of here when work ends. Growing up in Europe everyone in the office went to the local bar on a Friday. CEO to janitor all socialized on Fridays, most left their cars at home and took the bus or train in on Fridays so they could have a drink and hang out. Even before the pandemic offices in Silicon Valley were completely empty at 5pm cos everyone starts their long commutes. Yes a lot will continue to work from home after 5pm, but they generally have no interest in socializing.
It doesn't have to be a bar. It can be a cafe or some other type of place like that.
I am surprised for the working at home environment, last year I was in Campbell, it's very quite in the shopping area, and I found my in-law was so isolated in relationship, maybe this is why.
I grew up in San Jose and friends come and go in a heartbeat. Most of these people move on without even remembering your name. You'd be lucky to hold onto one friend for life. The city itself is full of strangers you'll never see again. I have to agree that this city is pretty lonely. The only friends I have work at Burger Bar and House of Pizza.
Meetup groups. Look how they do it in other countries and how small towns do it. Language exchanges and international groups help build understanding of other cultures between local and foreigners
The problem is you are trying to chase the next dollar and too focused on your own problems to give an F about learning cultures and as we grow older we just further become who we are.
It is truly the simple act of speaking to your neighbor. If you work onsite somewhere, speak to your coworkers you pass in the halls. Being friendly is free.
It's because of the city design, car centric low density development, and the extreme zoning law of the US. When all you build is single family homes, and you zone your land such that you can't build anything else, and Comercial space need to be far away and driven to, you don't get the chance of meeting someone else on your way and have any sort of social interactions. In any normal city in the rest of the world, you would take public transport, and you do a lot kroe walking. You get a lot of chances meeting other people and have conversations. When you have to drive everywhere, everything becomes goal driving, you only go somewhere for a specific task, and you leave as soon as you are done. You don't get the chance to hangout and socialize with others.
I’m in Santa Clara, I spend a lot of time alone in my $3000 a month apartment 😢😭 l can’t wait to get out of Silicon Valley!!
Adding some more commentary... I think city planners should first ask in regards to new construction or modifications is what sort of third places can be added? (home is first place, work is second place, everything else i.e. where people mingle are third places). City planners should also focus on more trees because it mainly keeps streets, sidewalks, buildings next to streets shade providing much cooler environment. Plus looks much nicer than a concrete wall. For regular folk to engage more with city or county staff. Either attending council meetings or meeting various people at fairs, parades, whatever. Attending council meetings can be tough for many as these are during working hours, and also the meetings can be very dry with rules and procedures. There are some volunteering groups such as CERT or amateur radio emergency communication groups (however, the latter is mostly retirees). This provides insight on how police and fire function i.e. Incident Command System during a disaster. Then there are things like parades or art and wine festivals where you can meet elected officials, and also city employees. i.e. at the Santa Clara city Parade of Champions I chatted with some of the work crews (truck drivers, maintenance, etc.) to get insight of what their jobs are like. For most of us we have no idea what government people do except when they get into trouble with the courts, or save lives during a disaster.
I think what is happening is Silicon Valley is becoming a myth in the same way as back in the days of cowboys was "go west." These days is like in 1890 when the Census Bureau declared the frontier is closed, all lands have been settled. These days it is ridiculous to do a startup in a garage like back in the 20th century. We have created an economic system where nothing is made and type of Silicon Valley work is done in front of a computer (why does Zoom have a multi-story office building). We can't reverse and go back to what things were in the days but some consideration of what social/economic model should be embraced. It should not be AI-generated stock options sales and marketing. What can be examined is what Mountain View and Sunnyvale did during covid. Close off the main streets to cars, wow it's just like what Europeans have been doing for years. Ssometimes these places have live bands, and these are wonderful third places for people to mingle. Just don't pull out the phone except briefly to let your friends know, "I'm here!"
I used to be part of CERT in Sunnyvale. Met some great people!
This would be a good time to finally admit that "pandemic" measures were grave mistake which led to irreversible consequences yet to be fully appreciated.
Its not safe, people don't want to go out
Cities are not the norm in human history. We evolved to live in communities of about 150 people.
Next consider the fertility rate collapse we see in advanced high density societies across the Wes. Japan, Korea, etc. If you break apart the data, it appears that rural populations, tend to maintain fertility rates that are sustainable.
Thanks for sharing. Do you think what is a “norm” can change?
A couple of comments.
The high cost of living is a big factor. It has pushed people, especially families, far away from Silicon Valley, commuting 50 miles to the city center to socialize during an overpriced café meal is not worth it.
Most of Silicon Valley is not a walkable city except for S.F. but that was before crime ruined the city.
I suggest you do a search for this other UA-cam creator: "Elise: apartment hunt Silicon Valley 2024 | touring 9 apts w/ rent prices, tips (*mostly Sunnyvale)"
Appreciate the comments. Agree on walk scores contributing to social health. Cost of living I’ve heard over and over as well. But in contrast, New York also has high cost of living, but do its residents feel this way too? My experience in talking to friends and family who live in both places leads me to believe it’s not just classic economic factors like rent prices.
@@WilliamJimenez01 One advantage that NYC has is its population density combined with a subway system that practically eliminates the commute. The other advantage is that the subway system was developed 100 years ago, so there are no upfront costs, Silicon Valley is spread out, with little chance of becoming a high-density city. Rail transit systems in low density areas tend to fail with the typical critique that they go from nowhere to nowhere. If you were to develop a comparable rail transit today in Silicon Valley today, it would cost not billions but trillions of dollars.
To create NYC style conditions in Silicon Valley you would have to convince all those high-tech companies to move their headquarters within a five-mile radius. Allow for high rise residential housing mixed with retail in the same area and develop a rail system to move those people within that five-mile area.
People in big tech came here and ran up the price of everything and you ask why nobody goes out ? I don’t live for work, I work to live and as soon as I can I’m leaving this place I was born / raised and not looking back.
You should really look into strong towns and some of the discussions they have on this topic. Much of these problems are directly related to the US' abandonment of traditional city building methods in favor of car-centric, heavily segregated land uses. There's no reason why shops and housing can't coexist, and even work centers could be better integrated into the community. This would help tremendously with getting people out of their houses and into their communities.
Another great read on this topic is the death and life of great American cities by Jane Jacobs. She's kind of known as inventing the modem NIMBY movement, but I think that's a misnomer. She wasn't a NIMBY for development, she fought against projects that were destructive to her community, like highways and housing projects, rather than traditional development like rowhomes with shops on the bottom.
I've been getting into the exact same books! Listening to the new Chuck Marohn book right now.
This is like nearly the entire US. At least these people have great weather and could participate in many outdoor activities where you would make instant friends like cycling or hiking
Meantime, small, Midwestern towns are enjoying a Renaissance. Beautiful, tree lined streets, charming, affordable homes, friendly neighbors, no homeless tents, farmers markets, community activities, and safe downtowns.
About what state are you talking about?
San Jose is a Sausage Party. To find a spouse, anywhere in the world outside the Bay Area is a better place to find a spouse .
To cure the loneliness, get your Passport.
I lived in San Jose for 10 years, I would bring 2-3 different girls home per week. Nerdy girls are easy lol
@@AncientGardensDesign but not a place for a marriage and family intending guy to find a spouse.
America isn't a family/community based society anymore and that's become the case even in the smaller towns in middle America as well. For those seeking human connection it's best to get their passport like you suggested and go elsewhere.
Damn I live in SF and am in tech sales. Thank god I play sports to meet other people and have friends and reputation outside of work
Remote work has allowed people to move to the community they want to be a part of, be it a less expensive place, move back near their family, move to a place where they want to be at. The issues of not socializing with a neighbor and "minding your own business" was here well before COVID. COVID forced people to check in with their expenses and it is natural that people decide to save money by not eating out or only spending money on essential needs. Everything is expensive, people no longer shop in a physical place = things have changed.
People from numerous places to work here and don’t have common background to share. Need city’s good leadership to cheer up.
"Always in your little bubble."
You've just described suburban.
Oddly enough, the "agricultural lifestyle" is probably better connected.
Im going to a san diego for work soon in just gonna have to say whats up to some of them lonely californians
Excellent thought provoking video of a very real problem.
Thank you for the feedback!
loved this video william
This is amazing !!
Hey! I’m over in Livermore, we have a farmers market thurs and Sunday. They close down the street to cars, it’s amazing just hanging out down there, soooo many people and food and music. I realize that a lot of cities aren’t like that, I feel very fortunate.
Thanks for sharing your experience with community in the Bay Area. Pass along the idea!
I remember potluck at the park back in the days. Definitely cheaper than going out to eat and pay a ridiculous amount. Great way to meet people. Wait...it's a bad idea, park is probably filled with tents.
Parks seem like a great way to build community. Thanks for sharing.
I see you're new and i like your work. These suggestions and comments are all cut from the same cloth. Further accommodation is not the answer that's how they got into this position to begin with. Just for giggles imagine this abolishing the minimum wage, abolishing public transportation and abolishing income tax? Stop giving your money away to politicians who waste it. Keep your money and do with it what you want. If you want to go to a wine festival why should we have to all pay for it? Keep up the good work my friend 👍
we r poor n lonely
The problem here is expecting the Bay Area to be the same as any other major city like New York. Each city within the Bay Area is its own place with its own unique environments. Also because a lot of these people are transplants, they don’t understand a lot of the cities they are in are primarily suburbs with no city center where people go to hang out. Also this video kind of skips over the fact that big tech has priced out a lot of communities and culture. With that how many people work within the city they live in.
@@iJERKone thanks for the feedback. Agree the topic of housing costs would have been interesting to cover.
I agree with Mr. Tsui about the Agrarian culture taking over these cities leading to loneliness. The rural lifestyle within the borders of a city is very unappealing. What's the point of living in a big city?
@SparkConversation I don't have an issue with loneliness.
@SparkConversation I didn't say there was anything wrong with agrarianism in and of itself. I am referring to the culture of being isolated from others that can be compared to agrarian culture.
Really? I live here, and everywhere I go, it's crowded with way too many people. Traffic is horrible. Restaurants are filled to the brim with people. Most people don't work remotely, either. It's definitely way too expensive and too car-dependent, though. And great point about the culture of the Bay Area -- I think it's always been less social than some other regions. I don't agree with more facetime in the office being a solution, though. Frankly, less time in the office allows more time with folks you actually want to see. Great video!
Thanks for the comment! I agree with you, in one sense it doesn’t make sense. I see the same things you described living here. So what are the county supervisors in San Mateo seeing that causes them to be the only county among thousands across the US to determine there is a loneliness epidemic? Either there is something going on below the surface or the county is misreading the data. That should be the question residents like us are asking; IMO if our neighbors are truly suffering that much we should be deeply concerned about it.
@@WilliamJimenez01 Well said. Thanks for the wonderful food for thought!
The thing is, in American culture, once you turn 18, you're only valued by how much you make and your social status. Values, personality, interests, and hobbies don't matter. Especially if you're a guy. You are hardly seen as a human being. Rather, you are seen as an ATM machine and a step on the social status ladder.
When you go to an organized social meetup chances are, these are the first questions that are asked of you and indeed whenever I tried to make friends I always get these questions:
- "Where do you work?"
- "What did you major in?"
- "Do you have any siblings? How old?"
That s also what I'm thinking is it the end of an era? Yes maybe thanks to the update🎉🎉🎉
I Was Born And Raised In Bay Area It Started Dying Since 84 None Of This is A Surprise
we dont feel safe to roam around the city anymore. and it doesn't help that we work in companies that spread us very thin and so we can't even go out to "take a break". in addition, the smell of car exhausts whose cars that should have honestly passed smog check shouldn't be on the road as they make our walking path smell. I can't even walk my dog without smelling the gassy fumes from the cars. For me, until these things change for the better, than I may be comfortable roaming the city again.
It also depends on where you live. If a city fails to protect its businesses due to lawlessness and homelessness. People don't want to live in big cities that have rampant crime. It's almost like Gotham city without Batman!
rich people dont want friends
Thanks for the perspective. Then why call them rich?
Is Silicon Valley downtown San Jose? I think of Palo Alto, Cupertino, Mountain View and Redwood City. Am I wrong? Well... just because an articulate and pretty normal UA-camr says it's lonely - that doesn't make it true for everyone. It is true that San Jose is a special case due to the pandemic cross over to remote work. I imagine results vary by age, gender, supported children and disposable income. I have a few coworkers who save all year long then travel abroad with friends. Another consideration is that some employers have recognition programs which result in - not usually outside-of-work friendships - but happy professional relationships. I'm in Livermore. I work in Tech. Not at the lab. I don't feel lonely.
I don't even go out anymore all you see is people playing and jabbering on their phones their phones are their best friends.
Thanks for your comment. Seems fair that the cell phone has very suddenly and unexpectedly changed human behavior. What do you feel would be a better use of the technology? Is it worth keeping or would we be better off without it?