Dear America... | David Mitchell's SoapBox
Вставка
- Опубліковано 29 чер 2024
- David Mitchell addresses the American Nation on the proper use of particular English words and phrases.
Subscribe to David Mitchell ► bit.ly/SoapboxSubscribe
LIKE Soapbox on Facebook ► davidmitchellsoapbox
David Mitchell's Soapbox DVD ► amzn.to/soapboxdvd
ABOUT DAVID MITCHELL'S SOAPBOX:
David Mitchell, star of UK TV favourites Peep Show and That Mitchell and Webb Look, brings us his unique perspective on the issues facing men of the world today. - Комедії
"Here's me on the scale of caring. I am at zero."
That's the most British way I've ever heard someone say they don't give a fuck.
I would actually say this is a very german way of saying you don't give a fuck
@@chrisogrady28 ... doing so in English?
"I'm not fussed" is a British way of saying don't give a fuck.
I'd agree that saying you're zero on the caring scale does sound like something translated from German.
Behold the field where I grow the fucks that I give and you shall see that it is barren.
@@LorisTheUntethered behold down the field*
"I really wan..the QUEEN really wants you to stop saying."
He is a queen
Why are you repeating the joke?
Jon Kiparsky cause it’s funny
Although, erbs! Really, you're French now are you?
@@mmcgrath2510 And Lee Mack is his king.
"So you're French now" might be the best argument for saying the H in herbal and I may now have to adopt the pronunciation.
What's weird about it though is there are many *more* examples of the English saying things in a 'French' way than the Americans do.
The way I see it, at least when we steal words we don’t feel the need to butcher them too.
@@cloudkitt kind of, but we tend to spell the French word in the French way, and accept it as a word directly inherited from french. How the US has ended up spelling it the English way and pronouncing it French...
Well they almost ARE French. The French were sore from losing the Seven Years War and wanted Britain distracted while they made a grab for the colonies in the east. So they fomented and financed "The American War of Independence" (along with their allies Spain and The Netherlands). They even sent troops. Then to rub salt into the British wounds when it was all over they gave the US the Statue of Liberty.
So yeah, Americans wouldn't be Americans without the French so it's only fair that they drop the H from herbs in return.
@@cloudkitt there's loads of words of French origin in English still today like television, mutton, cinema, the Norman's took all of England and Ireland in the 11th and 12th century, they used to all trade peacefully until around the 8th century when "the great" charlemagne decided they should all become Catholic or be slaughtered. The vikings didn't like this so the monastery raids began shortly after. 1st they would burn the churches but later they decided to leave them and allow the monks to refill them with treasures for the next raid. Around this time the vikings settled in Ireland (limerick) many stayed in North France (Normandy) who became the Norman's, trade once again opened up and raids stopped because the Norman's were of vikings descent and the Norman's pushed the Muslims back past Italy, you can also still hear the germanic language that the saxons and vikings would have spoken before the Norman's cleared them too today in skull, gun, scathe etc. English is a combination of many languages rolled into a sticky ball and kicked around the globe.
"Could of, should of, would of" gets me. It's "could've" from "could have".
Loads of British people say it though. I hate it
Bek , I’m with you, I’m bordering on homicidal.
When I receive correspondence which uses that abomination I often reply to the sender to tell them that they 'really after learn how language works'. Sadly a lot of them just don't get the sarcasm.
It's like fingernails on a blackboard to me.
I usually hear it said as “Coulda, shoulda, woulda”
"Here's me on a scale of caring, I'm at zero" that's the most David Mitchell thing to ever David Mitchell xDDD
The most David Mitchell thing to ever David Mitchell? Yeah he’d hate your comment.
@@benhall2235 Apparently, 'David Mitchell' has become a verb.
@@ronmackinnon9374 Crazy isn’t it? Who’d have Robert Webb’ed it?
Am I the only one who was distracted that the red bar was visible even though it was supposed to have zero height?
There was a scene in GoT where Jaime Lannister said, "I could care less". It took me right out of the scene, because it beggars belief that Westeros would have the same idiom.
I'm watching GoT for the first time and I'm on season one, that exact moment really annoyed me.
"I could care less" is perfectly viable. You're ignoring that it can be used from a sarcastic angle. For example: "Like I care / Like I give a shit" when voicing you DON'T CARE.
I've been looking for a good defence for having never watched a single episode of GoT. Now I have one. Thank you.
I say I could care less all the time, because its what I mean! When someone says that they're saying 'I don't care, but if you keep pressing me I'll care even less'
@@HaloLvl43Legit Like there meaning "as if" so it's not sarcastic, it's hypothetical, and not at all the same.
As an American I have been making the "could care less" correction for a long time, its nice to have a foreign ally in this fight.
*it's
Lol. Well of course it is. It's our bloody language!
Thank you.
‘Foreign’? How very dare you!
Haha, they are not your allies. They still have a monarchy like Saudi Arabia. Is the message from the free world that maybe a monarchy is not a such bad thing then continue listening to this twat.
As a representative for America, I can confidently say that I *never* say "could care less", nor would I ever willingly associate with anyone who did.
But you cared enough to listen to what ever Bull Shit you just said.
I could care less about associating with you . . .
You are not a representative for America; just for the US. Many others in America don't make these stupid mistakes.
@@tstcikhthys it’s not a stupid. It actually makes a lot of sense.
You cared enough to read or listen to the bullshit ergo you could care less.
@@imoldgreggboosh3467 So, you *do* care at least a bit?
Dear David,
I am an American and will immediately implement these much needed changes to my speech, thank you.
jammerbammer1 good grief
jammerbammer1 The global english speaking community thanks you for your consideration.
+jammerbammer1 Not David, the Queen. Who personally requested David inform us of her wishes.
You are a prince good sir!
jammerbammer1 jolly good show chap
I LOVE THIS, the "could care less" thing drives me crazy!
I could care less :D
loyalsausages,
Then that means you care, you stupid pillock.
JanetFunkYeah i dont thimk you got the joke did you?
If you care enough to go to the effort of _saying_ you couldn't care less, then you do care - at least an iota. Making that statement inaccurate. If you want to be pedantic literally achieving the state of zero caring is like scoring a bullseye with a dart at fifty meters. Ergo 'could care less' is more honest and more realistic, if far from precise, but it is a truncation of 'I could care less, but it would be difficult' and the second part is taken as read.
If you ever found yourself in the 1200s - Middle English that is - you'd get ulcers. They were quite fond of double negatives. Language has never been governed (if it's true to say that it can be governed) by busybodies or grammar textbooks, but by ease of use. At the end of the day it comes down to the fact that 'I could care less' is just easier to say. It's not even an Americanism, I don't think (just to give you a new expression to complain about).
I could care less, but it would take entirely too much effort and I can't be bothered.
I'm Australian and I once heard an American pilot say over the PA, that we'd be landing "momentarily", so as I am also a pilot, I thought, "I wonder what prompted him to do a touch and go".
letsseeif or “ debark” the plane....where do they get these words from?
@@jonnyboy2128 linguistics is almost a sport worth watching, esp based on English.
What do you say instead of momentarily?
Momentarily has four proper usages. Only one has fallen out of usage in America. In Britain all but one have fallen out of usage.
adverb
1: for a moment; briefly:
to pause momentarily.
2: at any moment; imminently:
expected to occur momentarily.
3: instantly.
@@neomcdoom "we're landing shortly" or "we're about to land"
I’m an American and have always, for as much as I can in my adult life, fought against the usage of “could care less” by my compatriots. While “hold down the fort” may make less sense, it’s not going anywhere, Mark...I mean David.
In Britain we just say holding the fort. I think "down" might just be some sort of inaccuracy that worked it's way in from the time of the u.s forts
@texas red It actually predates the US, I believe. I think it came about when the British colonists were warring against the natives.
"...it’s not going anywhere..." It's going up somehow, if your mis-saying is to be believed. Or you else you wouldn't have to hold it down.
Some sources show that the phrase "hold the fort" is first recorded among colonists in North America, but the usage referred to an actual fort, i.e. military fortification. It's tough to say exactly when it transitioned to its current idiomatic usage.
As for why the alternative "hold down the fort" arose - to "hold down" is used idiomatically to mean "temporarily take charge and keep things stable", as in "I can hold things down here while you're on vacation." That usage is similar to how "hold the fort" is used, i.e. "to keep things secure until reinforcements arrive", so they may have just gotten conflated.
Additionally, "hold down the fort" feels more natural in American accents. "Hold" in American accents tends to be pronounced with a very soft D - practically missing in some accents. The vowel also tends to be pronounced with the back of the mouth - almost more like an "ul" than an "ol". And it doesn't receive much emphasis - it tends to be short. Consequently, "hold the fort" feels a bit mumbly - you can pronounce the entire phrase with your teeth gritted (in American accents). So adding a big, forceful "down" to the phrase adds a pleasant change of rhythm and emphasis.
Whereas British accents pronounce "hold" with the front of the mouth, and the dipthong tends to be emphasized ("ho-o-l-d"). And the D gets a strong emphasis, while the L tends to be diminished - it's almost not there in some accents. Following that up with "down" feels odd. It's two big dipthongs in a row, and you need to deliberate add a pause in between the D of hold and the D of down.
For Brits, try pronouncing "hold" like "hulled", which is closer to how Americans pronounce it - but really, really soften the D, so it's barely there. Then compare saying "hull the fort" vs "hull DOWN the fort". The latter feels better, because that DOWN adds a strong beat and gets your lips moving.
If you're an American, try saying the word "hoed", leaving out the L altogether. Make the O longer, emphasize the "ohhhh", and make sure to really, really pronounce the hard D. Then try saying "hoed down the fort" vs "hoed the fort." Pronouncing "hoed down" is just awkward, because you have to add a deliberate pause between the D at the end of hoed and the D at the start of down.
I just had an American correct me when I said I "couldn't care less" about something. They said "you mean, you COULD care less" and made out I was being really stupid for saying what I said... Hilarious.
I'm an American and Americans have also corrected me. I say, "Maybe you could but I couldn't."
I'm also an American and I never understood why people used the "I could care less" expression since there's an obvious inconsistency in what's being said vs. what the speaker intended to convey. It's a pet peeve of mine, and some people have acted like I'm odd when attempting to explain the logic behind it. To that end I'd say David broke it down quite nicely, haha.
when you say 'i could care less', you're really saying '[as if] i could care less'. it has a sarcastic bite to it which 'i couldn't care less' lacks, because it's completely literal.
Kinbote00 'As if I could care less' still makes no sense, though. There is no sarcasm implied, which is probably a good thing because Americans tend to struggle with sarcasm...
I'm quoting here, but you can google it yourself:
"Etymologists suggest that “I could care less” emerged as a sarcastic variant employing Yiddish humor. They point to the different intonations used in saying “I couldn’t care less” versus “I could care less.” The latter mirrors the intonation of the sarcastic Yiddish-English phrase “I should be so lucky!” where the verb is stressed."
Another thing I would have added, although it's not an idiom, is the way people reply to the question "Do you mind?", i.e. with "yeah, sure". Such an answer would logically imply that one *does* indeed mind when it is actually used to indicate the opposite. The way the British reply to the aforementioned question however, with a simple "not at all", makes so much more sense. OK, I'm done now.
+Mart kenyon This is *incredibly* common and has always bothered me.. it's everywhere too.. movies, tv, everyone says it. I make it point to say "NO I do not mind."
Blue Girl Thaank you. Finally someone gets it. I mean, I myself talk with an extremely American accent (although I'm not American) but I really hate it when the American English makes no sense.
yes! I actually reply no to this which people think means I don't want them to proceed rather than I'm answering the question
I think people just ask the question to be polite and don't really pay attention to the answer.
It's still wrong though, and I might point it out in conversation.
I don't think this is an American thing though.
+Blue Girl Also, "butt naked," which is really "buck naked;" and "doggy-dog world" for "dog-eat-dog world." (A doggy-dog world ought to be pretty nice, don't you think?) QI did an interesting bit on "damp squib," which a lot of people turn into "damp squid." But a failed firecracker is a lot more of a disappointment than a sea creature's showing the effect of its natural environment, I always say.
When your professor calls your sources “incredible”
uncredible
noncreditable
Helps if you say it back to them in a french accent - really stresses the "credible" part of the word.
Lee Mack: as in Not Credible?
Do you live in the early 1900s?
No, you live in the modern world where words have evolved to have multiple different meanings?
This American thanks you from the bottom of her heart for this important public service announcement. God speed, my friend.
"Hold Down The Fort"
In a country full of hurricanes and tornadoes
Makes perfect sense.
+TruXter Jones Stop trying to retrospectively justify it. It's wrong.
yes
+Ansatsouken also yes tho haha
+TruXter Jones Only because they would build the bloody thing out of wood (like most of their houses, which also blow away very easily).
Love it!
I wish people would relax and exercise their funny bone. Such crabby tits here
One thing that amuses me is the frequent American pronunciation of "u" in words as "oo", pronouncing "tune" as "toon" and such. In a recent light-hearted conversation with an American friend, he suggested this was always better, to which I suggested that he may do as he please in the Oonited States of America.
sEaNoYeAh It amuses me that you say orientated instead oriented. Do you guys say disorientated as well?
James Reese We do say both disoriented and disorientated, and both oriented and orientated. Personally I generally prefer orientated, because oriented sounds like a verb of Orient. Like if "to East Asia" were a verb. I think orientate is probably a little more common here too.
For dis I think disorientated sounds more formal, more officious. Probably just because because there's another syllable to enunciate. Or maybe most people are more likely to use the shorter form of any word and I typically only see the longer form being used by more educated or professional writers consciously using the chiefly British version. Either way, disorient and disorientate are both common and I wouldn't think anything of seeing either.
+sEaNoYeAh
Should I assume, then, that you add a "y" sound in the following?
prune, dune, lunar.
The rule is a bit weird, in the American accent, all long "u"'s following a dental or a labial are pronounced "oo". All long "u"s following a vowel, a nasal, a plosive, or a fricative include the "y" (a j glide, technically).
+sEaNoYeAh Well, that is where it comes from - to orient/orientate a map properly, you put it so the Orient (the east) is at the top. (Although these days we put north at the top instead, so maybe we should change to arcticated and disarcticated...)
+sEaNoYeAh No, the American way is better. "oo" is one tonal sound. "u" being used like the british 'tune' is just a "y-" added on to the "oo" sound. It doesn't make any sense to tack on the 'y' sound, and it's stupid to have to write two letters for an "oo" sound, especially if there are consonants leading up to it. Pronouncing "u" like "yu", and this is most easily heard in the word 'tune', makes it sound like 'chune' and that's silly.
To address why 'u' sounds like 'oo' in the middle of a word, and why it sounds like 'yu' in the beginning, think about the fact that 'a' can sound several ways even at the beginning of the sentence (angel, apple) and whether or not that's confusing and contradictory. Of course it is, but if we're going to just now worry about consistency, we should just make all vowels follow consistent rules without these ridiculous exceptions based on 'roots'.
"It's COULDN'T care less, Jeremy. COULDN'T care less. Could care less just means that you DO care!"
As an American, I was extremely grateful somebody else is FINALLY talking about this!
"Could care less" annoys the hell out of Americans over the age of 35, too.
Also: It's "free rein," not "free reign." The metaphor is about the device used to control a horse, and you have let go of it, leaving the horse to roam without constraint. Not a series of periods of sovereign rule obtained at no cost, which isn't a meaningful metaphor no matter how you look at it.
Both imply complete control so they both work
I agree with meme marine, I don't think the useage is erroneous.
In contemporary speech here in Canada "Free reign" implies unfettered dominion, and is the normal context where I've heard it used.
Unlike "free rein" it is not a colloquialism and has different meaning; where the latter indicates a lack of control as opposed to the former indicating total control.
The difficulty lies only in homonymous nature of the words.
I'm sure that in one respect you are quite correct, most of the people I've heard use it are probably not familiar with the origin of the colloquialism.
I do think it may have been derived from that original form and bastardized, yet it has been adapted to a different use and radically altered so that the new form is correct in spelling so as to apply to the new meaning as well, becoming a new cliche with very little remnants of the archaic form.
*****
books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=free+rein%2Cfree+reign&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cfree%20rein%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cfree%20reign%3B%2Cc0
"Free rein" was clearly the original expression and is old enough that it's absurd to call it a colloquialism. "Free reign" has increased pretty much in tandem with the rise of motor transportation and as memories of horse-powered travel have faded.
ChrisC the fact that it is a different word with a different meaning means it is a different expression, regardless of the roots from which it may have been derived.
Of course it is a colloquialism pertaining to equestrian tackle, since "free rein" could refer equally to the amount of slack rein in the riders hand, the price of the rein when bought with a bit, or some other phrase referring to excess lengths of leather strap.
The fact that it was used commonly in familiar conversation so as to come to usually mean one specific thing is the very definition of colloquial.
I had a look at your graph and suggest you look up "confirmation bias".
If cloud seeding develops in the next few decades compare the phrases "free rain" and "free rein" and tell us how the decreasing usage of the latter means the former was logically a mispelled version of it and not an entirely separate phrase due to the different meaning associated with it.
You might note that one of my points subtly indicated that "free rein" and "free reign" are conceptually opposite in their intended meaning.
I love that this finishes with It could care less.’ making it abundantly clear that ‘’erb’ does still bother him
I need David to do another one of these about why "could of" is WRONG!!!
And "bored of"!! Ugh.
@@mikel1578"bored of _xyz_" makes perfect sense. You could've come up with a better example, but alas, I'm bored of this conversation 😉
@@TheMattSturgeon i genuinely think some people think every time a word ends in “d” then “of” can never go after it, only “have” can which is very strange to me.
'Bored of' is absolutely fine.@@mikel1578
@@ashlinday4469 I admit it's been so ingrained in me how awful 'could of' is that I've nearly found myself writing 'kind have' on at least one occasion, before realising how very dumb that would be.
My learned American friend and I questioned this any many other topics over the years. He admitted after a while that the 'could care less' thing makes no sense. He moved back to the states a few years back and I'm happy to say his time in Britain has made him somewhat of a pariah among his fellow Texans. He couldn't care less about it though..
2:46 Wait, you mean forts DON'T float in the UK? Huh.... Interesting....
+Evi1M4chine hahaha! nice return after Idoloish's fantastic serve
+Evi1M4chine LOL classic!
+Idoloish Forts DO fly away in the UK:
www.themalaymailonline.com/world/article/seven-year-old-british-girl-blown-away-in-a-bouncy-castle
it's because the UK is closer to the sun so gravity is more intense there
that's why each unit of currency there weighs a pound
I once saw a Pink Floyd concert at Stoke-On-Trent and THEY had an inflatable fort hovering in the sky.
Clearly the British are jealous of our American hover-fort technology.
@@withinjapan2024 just a joke and ur replying to a 5 yr old comment
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh don't tell them about it
Well, at the very least, British hovercrafts, unlike Hungarian hovercrafts, aren't so full of eels!
@@withinjapan2024 The jealousy is strong with this one.
All Abroad mate the comment was clearly a joke
I love David Mitchell's intellectual rants, I really do.
I could care less.
@@neuvocastezero1838 😂😂😂
This comes up in my reccomended occasionally and it's become mandatory viewing each time
' "Fine!" says the Queen." my favourite line
As an angry American, I love you David Mitchell. I could care about you MUCH less than I do; we share at least one pet peeve!
The word "down" has been used in a lot of unusual ways in casual conversation this side of the pond.
As a result "holding down the fort" actually sounds perfectly fine to me.
Like "I'm down." (used as an assent)
"Get down." (For dancing or just judt general partying)
And perhaps the most relevant "Holdin' it down." which means to keep a situation or an area under a watchful eye.
It's difficult to say whether "Holdin' it down." evolved first and then affected the fort or whether the fort was eventually omitted.
Chicken and egg kind of thing.
"Hold down the fort" and "hold down" probably are just coexisting things.
The reason we say hold down the fort and see no issue is because holding something down means preventing it from being taken, whereas people who use British English would probably see the 'down' as being redundant in that case. It's just something that isn't really wrong, just thought of as wrong because it's different to them.
As for the other things, like get down or I'm down, I don't know how the hell that happened that shit makes no goddamn sense when you try to piece it together
Surely not as an ascent. An assent, maybe?
@@blechtic ah, thank you. I didn't catch that.
I'm American and I approve this message! 🤣🤣🤣 was laughing my head off
Irregardless, I'm going to have my cake and eat it, too. Just after I finish this Expresso.
arghhhhhhh :D
Having your cake and eating it too works fine.
Just regardless, irregardless is a double negative and isn't even a word. The rest just gave me grammar cancer, I hope you're happy.
My happy. My happy.
Let's go out for some coffee and donuts, shall we?
Graaahhhh!! I hate it when people say "I could care less"
I'm American, btw. Many people here really do say that, but a lot us aren't completely stupid...
+Pieter Van Broekhoven yeah, I counted 16 last time I checked
The interesting thing is "I could care less" isn't wrong. It does sound wrong, and I personally don't use it, but you have to understand where it comes from to get why it works. The full phrase is "As if I could care less", which might be said sarcastically as, "Yeah, I could care less", or when speaking to someone else, "Like you could care less". But over time it seems the sarcastic tone has somewhat been lost. You'll still hear (usually older) people say it in the 'correct' way, but a lot of the time you'll hear it said in the way that misleads you to think it's a simple corruption of "I couldn't care less".
I know what you mean! Specially when they combine it with other incorrect sayings! It's like they never opened a dictionary, no one corrects their grammar, got used to the wrong thing, ect..
@@AlbatrossRevenue Cutting an expression short is wrong though. I don't mean morally of course, but if the complete version is right, using the cut-off version is still wrong and illogical
“Here’s me on the scale of caring. I’m at zero.” That is now my favourite way of saying how little I care.
I always assumed "hold down the fort" was like "hold down a job" where you were keeping something secure and not losing it
I agree, I think it's a mixed metaphor but it's one that is used to frequently it's just it's own standalone metaphor now
I see the logic, but it's equally like "hold the line" when you're on the phone, or "hold that thought" when someone needs to interrupt.
The hilarious and yet angered way you explain this is a danger to my health. I laugh so hard I find it hard to breathe. Please continue.
Gold. 😂😂😂
As an American reading this comment section:
I promise we aren't all like this.
Just 90% of you right?
Yep. The other 10% are fine though.
Yeah we probably shouldn't have nuked the Japanese, that's probably what made them invent Anime.
No true American fallacy?
just 90% of you are dumb as shit.
An American told me that.
For the record some of us do say “couldn’t care less”
I say some of us, I mean it might just be me, surely not.
I suppose I’ll now have to listen when other speak - oh bother.
Her Majesty The Queen requests an update on whether in fact it is just you.
Update as requested, for Her Majesty The Queen - or rather a most humble apology. I have a very small social circle, so it was hard to wait patiently for the phrase arise in causal conversation, so I prompted the debate with some close friends. I was quickly reminded that over the recent holiday season I was barred from discussion on “talking” after I ruined a game of “What do you meme? New Phone, who’s dis” by continually correcting the grammar on the game cards, as I read them aloud. Though I will be visiting with a friend this spring who majored in English Literature at University, so - fingers crossed.
MusicMadMaurice well I’m not sure I always succeed in those endeavors of knowledge and presence, but I do try. It’s a very big world outside my door, and we - in this instance I mean all of us, we are all connected - one country’s decision can effect those outside their borders. I consider it a responsibility to at least know the outlines.
It has been 9 years, and the "could care less" cancer shows no sign of stopping :(
It still gets on my nerves 🤣
Obviously, we need to care more about stopping it.
living languages change with time, if i traveled say 300 years into the future, english will be completely different everywhere, heck british english is quite abit different now then it was in the 1600's, even the letters are abit different they used to say Zee not Zed. and "&/🙰/et" was still the 27th letter. the differences came about because it was harder to communicate back then, i'd think we're slowly working our way towards some strange unified/universal language due to rapid communication at this point, which will probably consist of meme's and net slang.
@@random_midis Yes, languages do change but let's at least make an effort. If you use that excuse for every mistake then eventually there will be no consensus, leaving room for all manner of misunderstanding. I have taken the liberty of correcting your comment for you. I hope it helps you in future attempts to express your thoughts.
* Remember to start a new sentence with a capital letter.
* English - British English (proper nouns take a capital letter too).
* I'd (not 'i'd'. The first person pronoun also takes a capital)
* A bit (not "abit", which you used twice. I often see 'a lot' written as "alot" but you are the first person I've come across who uses "abit")
* ...than it was in the 1600s (not "...then it was in the1600's") and even that is wrong, as it should be 'different to'. 'Than' is used to compare degrees or amounts of a thing. You are not doing that. You are simply stating that they are different. Smaller than..., louder than..., richer than..., different TO... . If you say, 'Sugar is different than salt' it makes no sense, because you are not comparing levels of anything. If you say, "Sugar is sweeter than salt" it does make sense.
* Try not to start a sentence with a conjunction (and), but if you must, please capitalize the first letter.
* Memes (not "meme's". Plurals do not take a possessive apostrophe.)
* There are 26 letters in the alphabet, not 27.
* We never said 'zee' in Britain, or the rest of the English speaking countries. That is purely an American thing to make the alphabet rhyme. www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2012/10/why-do-the-british-pronounce-z-as-zed/#:~:text=The%20primary%20exception%2C%20of%20course,zed%E2%80%9D%20around%20the%2015th%20century.
There are several examples of misplaced or missing punctuation in your comment but there are limits, even to my pedantry.
You're welcome.
The Grammar Police.
The people who say “alternate” to mean alternative and “laying” to mean lying are taking over. : (
As an American those two expressions have always bothered me to no end. I always say "Couldn't care less" and "Hold the fort".
"Could care less" is absolutely moronic, but there's nothing wrong with "hold down the fort." Adding the preposition "down" just makes a new compound verb. (For example, "laugh" vs "laugh at".) So "hold down" becomes a verb you can use with the noun "fort." Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Whereas "could care less" is literally communicating the opposite as it intends to, much like a double negative.
@@dogchaser520 Exactly. Could care less fails to convey what they mean to say - but holding something down means protecting/making sure it doesn't go anywhere/nothing happens to it. That is the exact same as "holding something" in the sense of keeping it. I think the hold the fort vs hold down the fort thing is purely British people annoyed by Americans.
Wow some of these comments give me the impression that Americans aren't fond of being corrected.
meh I could care less
Devin McMasters So you care then..
Not really, I could care less
Devin McMasters Which implies that you do care, at least a little bit. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to care less.
are you confused? I said I could care less
Just came across this while looking for material to share with my Eng Comp students... BRILLIANT! Thank you for the explanation. I giggled, which means my students will hate it!
12 years late but I love this.
Four Naan, Jeremy? That's insane.
I am a mid west US citizen and I have never used nor pronounced these terms incorrectly. Given that may be from growing up listening to British English most of my life with BBC. Now back to watching Red Dwarf and Keeping up Appearances!
Red Dwarf is fantastic. I will raise my children to it also.
There's no such thing as 'British English'
I'm British and never seen Red Dwarf in my life, I do enjoy some Mrs Bouquet though
Kerry Flitter Quite right. Scouse, Brum, Manc maybe, but British English?! No such thing.
Sebastian *Bucket, I think.
I have always responded with "it won't float away while you're gone." Glad David Mitchell agreed with me.
I like the subtlety of how at the end he talks about saying 'erbs' instead of 'herbs' then says that he 'COULD care less'!
Maybe "hold down the fort" is a sloppy and misguided conjugation of two colloquialisms; "batten down the hatches" and "hold the fort", since both referred to making preparation for defense or adverse conditions.
I know this is 2yrs old but got sent here via a link, but "batten down the hatches" is a naval reference, how would it ever get confused with a land saying lol o.0.
'sloppy and misguided conjugation' is a long-winded way of saying 'wrong'.
@@P.M_M I don't know. Maybe there were forts near naval vessels. Maybe people from one frequented the other.
@@P.M_M A year beyond that: most likely because the conflation was made by people without either direct military or naval experience, who had heard both phrases via films or in books, then conflated them together in a different context, such as leaving someone in charge of the office, where neither a Sergeant Major nor Chief Petty Officer was present to issue a correction.
my absolute favourite of his soap boxes!
After a long while of saying "could care less" one day I finally realized exactly this point. So I started saying it correctly. I don't even know how I learned it incorrectly. Nonetheless, saying it correctly now is a good thing, as it's fun to see people's reactions when you explain this exact point. XD
Saying "I could care less" isn't wrong because you definitely do not care absolutely literally 0% about anything. Now you're wrong (not that it matters, both mean the same thing one's hyperbole, one's sarcasm) but you're smug about it.
MARVELOUS. Your rants are great, but this one is one of the best, in my opinion. Thanks! P. S., love you on WILTY, too
I'm just going to say this right here: not all Americans are the same. That means not all of them are stupid. I know that David Mitchell is obviously aware of this, but some of these commenters aren't.
My enjoyment of this rant cannot be underestimated. Thanks!
I’m chuffed you posted this!
as a brit living in the usa the two that got to me were indeed erb but also foeward instead of forward - oh and mir instead or mirror
We're you foewarned?
Pet peeve word I hear often: 'irregardless'.
Speaking of redundancy, I heard "just optimal" not so long ago.
And “pacific” instead of specific
@@shelbyvillerules9962 Someone once said to me "pacificly?" and I replied with "no, atlanticly."
My pet peeves (peaves?):
1) "For free"- A thing is either free, meaning free of charge, or it is available at no cost ie "for nothing."
2) "Meet with"- One either confers with someone or one meets someone. "Meet with" is an example of needless repetition. If you meet them then you are obviously with them.
Another thing I can't understand is that they refer to the fraction 1/4 as 'one fourth' instead of 'one quarter'. I actually had a discussion with someone from America last week about this and it basically went along the lines of "so that coin of yours that you call a quarter is worth a fourth of a dollar? Shouldn't be a quarter of a dollar? That is, after all, why they're called a quarter in the first place."
For those who might be interested re: herb/erb
The word herb used to be written in English as erbe/erb with no h at the front and was pronounced by English speakers in the French way. Typographically the word changed post-16th c. but the pronunciation didn't completely shift in England until the 19th c. By that time American English varieties had split from British English and so didn't experience that same shift. It's left American English with the odd French sounding (h)erb.
historically accurate, but linguistically unimportant. Today the word is Herb. In English leading 'H' is sounded, and in French it isn't. Americans DO NOT speak 15th C English they speak English with a few archaic nuances like 'trash', not some ancient time-capsule Shakespearian language - or you would all be using iambic pentameter, and sound devastatingly intelligent.
As always, great stuff, David.
Thank you for caring enough to make this video.
When I was 17 I said "I could care less" about something to a friend and he said "you mean you couldn't care less" and it took me back and made me realize how weird it was to say it that way. It's a phrase were you know the intentions of it meaning "I don't care" but once you take a second to think about it makes you wonder why you would ever say it that way.
Yep. It's like when we say, "Do you mind if I ___?" and someone answers. "Yes." Yes what?
@@dogchaser520 yes they mind. No means yes and yes means no for that question.
@@edluke3415 About 90% of the time the person means they do not mind. Frustrating. So you've always got to ask what they mean.
2:02 "I really want... the queen really wants you to..." - oh no, this might reveal that David is actually *not* at zero on the level of caring! ;)
I've not heard "could care less" for years. Seems the message has made its way to the Midwest.
That was so worth the wait
As a U.S. citizen, I agree with yo-- ...I agree with the queen on these two things.
This made my day - I have these arguments all the time with people ("could care less"). The hold the fort change will be implemented immediately; although, I can't say I've ever been in a fort so I'm not sure when I'd have occasion to use this phrase. ;-)
Dear David, as always, you are spot on.
I'm glad you brought that up. People most often misuse that comment by saying they 'could care less'. They should listen to themselves. Thanks.
David Mitchell is great. I love what he says.
Hearing people say 'I could care less' really makes me loose my temper.
That's right, 'loose'. Because apparently now 'loose' == 'lose'. Grr.
And here I thought you were unleashing your fury.
Maybe he should be unleashing his furry!
Apparently we also need to remove the word "have" and replace it with "of" in order to make the totally correct phrase "should of" make sense, thus rendering half the English language useless.
Paul Miller No you defiantly spell it 'lose',even across the boarder in Canada.
@@thomasrevill7723 I find it irritating when people type should of. It's completely incorrect.
I could care much, much less about the point he makes here.
Thank you David
Thank you for caring then!
There aren't many times when I give a UA-cam video a standing ovation but this is one of them.
I absolutely thirst to know the other times you've gotten out of your chair to stand up and clap at a UA-cam video while presumably alone
@@a-bombmori7393 One was a video about a drunk man stealing a roast chicken from an Arab-run takeaway store. And the other was a video about a Redneck who proved you could live an entirely self-sufficient life on nothing else but stolen livestock from government reservations. Sadly neither video is available anymore.
@@a-bombmori7393 It was a video of a man stealing a roast chicken from an Arab-run takeaway store. If that isn't art to you then I don't need your company.
This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put.
S. Silvers LOL! Though, "put up" is verb phrase. It's actually grammatically incorrect not to put them together. You could say, "I will not put up with this type of arrant pedantry" if you want to avoid a dangling preposition.
ghenulo You apparently missed the joke. This is a famous quote from Winston Churchill. Google it, if you want to know more.
I could watch this over and over again and still laugh!
My cousin and I love talking about things like this.
That “I could care less” at the end is imply brilliant
David, yor videos is a blessing in the skies and for all intensive purposes you really it the nale on the hed.
Merica ain't not too bright.
Milk Toast I really hope you're being sarcastic with that comment
Metal Monkey Can I aks you a qustion? Why do you hope I was kidding? I am getting carpool tunnel syndrome from all this typing.
No I was not being sarcastic I am just the product of a public edukation.
Holding the fort. Love it... and herbs.
I'm a nonnative English speaker, and I've genuinely misunderstood Americans who said "I could care less"
if you hear it more, you will get used.
Non-native speakers are often better, as they have usually studied grammar. Natives tend not to be taught it any more. It is, of course, a disgrace that that is the case.
Regarding holding down the fort
"holding down" something means keeping safe or secure, in the same way you hold down a job. You can't hold an entire fort in your hands.
You can "hold off" the enemy, or "hold down" the fort, but it doesn't make much sense to say you're holding either of them. It needs a direction to indicate how it's being held.
I think there are some people in America who are just genetically incapable if understanding that "I could care less" makes absolutely no sense at all when you are trying to convey that you don't care. Mitchell even explained it on a graph, but that didn't help either. In half of these comments people are trying to prove that " I could care less" is similar to "I couldn't care less" only milder (wtf? no, one is the exact opposite of the other) or that it's sarcastic...sarcastic, seriously? That's the dumbest attempt at sarcasm I've ever heard about. I don't know, maybe those people have been brainwashed in some secret U.S. government facility ...
Americans do have a fondness for invoking sarcasm as a defence for all sorts of questionable utterances.
Ah, sarcasm, sweet sarcasm, famously the lowest form of wit.
@@daddymuggle Sarcasm is actually pretty great. Don't blame it just because Americans don't know how to use it correctly.
@@thelemurofmadagascar9183 I don't think they don't know, they simply use it to justify some other shortcomings that they can't bear to admit or correct.
Americans don't like to be told they're wrong.
This American tries to accept that he can be wrong occasionally. ;)
@Aleksandra Jerzmanowska Why do a gigantic number of people claim that literally any negative thing in existence refers to only some people in this entire country? They really do believe this. The belief became mainstream in this country *at least* ten years ago. It is everywhere in comment sections on UA-cam and everywhere else on the Internet that any negative thing at all within this country is mentioned/brought up in.
The "I could care less" has always driven me nuts too.
I’ve thought about this a lot thank you
"Hold down the fort" became an American saying after general Sherman used it in a telegram. It was in response to another commander who said that the fort he was holding would be "raised by weeks end"
Well that makes it even worse as to destroy a building or structure is to raze it.
I didn’t realize this was an American thing! I’m from the states myself and I remember being young and taught to say “couldn’t care less,” by my dad. It was a whole conversation because it’s a pet peeve of his (you all say “pet hate,” I think - but that’s another conversation).
Anyway, growing up I used to get very annoyed by “could care less,” but thought it was just one of those ways you could tell if someone’s an idiot like people who say “suppobly” Or “doggie dog world.”
I didn’t realize my entire country says it incorrectly. 🤦♀️
I realize this is a month old comment, but who in the world says "pet hate"? I've only ever heard someone say pet peeve or just peeve.
Helmut I’ve only ever heard pet peeve where I live but I’ve heard it on some British stuff I’ve watched/listened to, so I thought it was what was said over there. Now I must investigate!
Black Rod According to extensive research (I googled it) pet hate and pet peeve mean the same thing!
@@ArkhanTheMack I'm British and I say pet hate sometimes although usually I'd call something like that a bugbear of mine. I don't think I've ever heard an American use either term.
I say supposubly ironically all the time lol
did you notice the worm going across the bookshelf?
I did. Do you think it was looking for more detailed knowledge of sponges?
Oh thank God I thought it was just me, I'm high lol
*caterpillar.
The Americans noticed the worm. The English only saw a wuuum.
Yes I have eyes.
I love that worm crawling around. That animation... Chef's kiss
This is brilliant!
Oh good. He brought a chart. Phew.
Sarder always gets me. Oh sorry, you don't know what sarder is ? It's used by electrical engineers to hold together wire and components and yet let them conduct electricity, we call it solder.
I thought they say "sodder" but I suppose the accent in some regions makes it sound like "sawder". Whatever it sounds truly idiotic. Solder = sole + der
***** Exactly. We say "Sotter".
We've already established the fact Americans can't look at a word and sound out the letters, as evidenced by the apparently invisible second letter i in the word aluminium. At this point, like their incessant warmongering, I think they're just doing it to piss everyone off, which is fine, but then you can't whinge when 9/11 happens. If your intention is to piss people off, and you succeed, you've nobody to blame but your antagonistic self, really.
@@NoisesYeah they really need to take a good, hard look in the meer..
This had me gasping for air, this is hilarious.
I could breathe less.
I soiled myself and fell off my chair, it was so amusing!
American forts are mostly bouncy castles, hence the confusion.
This comment is underrated
You should visit those of us here in Minnesota; our German- and Scandinavian-inspired colloquialisms are sure to be an interesting time for you.
(I'm just happy that, while holding down the fort here in the frozen Midwest, I can safely say that I've always said, "Couldn't care less" with the occasional "possibly" inserted between the first and second words.)
Take care and thank you!
Whatever makes you appy...
"Hold down the fort" has historical origin in the US. It was adapted from the phrase "hold the fort", but has quite a different origin in meaning. In early US history there were large immigrant populations. In particular the Irish were seen as violent thugs and thieves who would steal "anything not nailed down". Due to the mostly wooden cities, there was a common practice at the time to steal any required stone from the few structures such as forts which used it. As a form of irony it became a bit of a joke about forts not being nailed down. So rather than needing defence, forts needed to be held down to prevent the Irish making off with them.
Sorry, but this is complete bullshit, I just made it up. Please don't be mad.
Do i like this to increase it's effectiveness?
Yes.
i'm not even mad
that's amazing
This is just one of those falsehoods that are better true
I totally believed you, it has everything that 19th century slang requires, rustic humor and blatant hatred of the Irish.
James H Soon as I read “Irish” I knew you were f.o.s.Now had you said Africans I would have believed it true.
I just noticed he used could care less at the end because he does care.
I've tried to appreciate David Mitchell more.
I failed. I'm just crazy about his humour.
I could not like him more. I tried.
I'm at maximum respect & fan-affection toward him.
Thank you, it is SO annoying seeing people say "could care less". It really makes me want to scream...
Although, arguably, saying "I could care less" when they mean "I _couldn't_ care less" is a rare example of Americans successfully using irony.
It's ignorance not irony. Because they aren't being ignorant intentionally.
This makes me want to use them more
Brilliant Video
Whenever I watch this, I feel all they did was let David rant about something close to his heart.