Therapists, what is the worst patient you've had because of how messed up their childhood was?
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- Опубліковано 3 бер 2024
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not me clicking this to make sure my therapist didn't spill the tea
😭
istg why is this relatable
No same lmao
same
Did they 😂
The worst thing about this video is you know most of the people who did these things to these kids were not punished at all or hardly at all. We as a society need to stop this NOW.
100% this
The only way to certainly stop it, is to stop breeding.
I am sorry to hear all of this. Always remember, you are valuable. I wish you all the best. @@nharber9837
@@nharber9837 I am so, so sorry to hear that
It’s tough when they don’t take you seriously
A lot of these people were raised that way too
My mom and dad volunteered at a mental health facility long before I was born. My dad once tried to encourage a 6 year old boy that it was time take a shower and the kid FREAKED. Tried to attack my 6’3” dad and didn’t calm down until someone suggested a bath instead. What NO ONE told my dad was that the kid’s dad would put him in the shower (it had a door), make the water scalding hot, and trap the kid in there
Oh God, that is…well, awful is an understatement
Oh, my heart…💔
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FUCKING EVIL
A lot of abuse happens in showers, basements and the bedroom at night. If those locations are regular triggers is something that mandated reporters watch out for.
I’m so mad at them!!!😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
Mine was the opposite. I had a foster home that would grease the tub, fill it with scalding water and throw me in. When I got to the “family” that adopted/bought me, I would freak tf out over the steam. I climbed the “mother”, and refused to let go until she stood in the water to prove it wasn’t too hot.
In college I had a professor who was a social worker. He told us a story about a man who had a really sh*tty father growing up. One day the dad took the kid and their dog to the woods and purposefully stomped on the dog's back, breaking it. As the dog was writhing around in agony, the dad handed the kid a plastic bag and said "you're not going to let him suffer, are you?" And walked off. The kid had to suffocate his own dog to put him out of his misery. Just hearing that story traumatized me a bit. I can't imagine what it did to the kid.
Reminds me of this ep of hoarders I watched where the hoarder was raised by a neo-nazi POS father who turned his pet bunny into a stew, *served it to him* , and then *laughed* at the kid's reaction like it was some like of twisted joke
That shitty father really just played it off like some sort of scripted moment in a drama show, which I think is absolutely deranged
The poor kid
He must feel so bad
I just hope he doesn’t blame himself for his dog’s death.
I really wish I hadn't read this
@BingQilin my best friend was fed her pet goat in a similar way.
As someone who was severely abused as a child I would like to thank you for bringing awareness even if it is uncomfortable.
I hope you’re in a better place now ❤️
Same here
hope u are doing well and hope u stay safe,,, wishing u the best!
28:30 as a victim of childhood sexual abuse, I appreciate that you are advocating against the censorship we face when talking about our struggles.
SA and victim blaming are systemic issues, we cannot fight them if we cannot talk about them.
❤ You share. Share warning signs, share things that help. Share ways that help you. When I found out as a worker how common it is, it made my stomach turn and cry for days. Best of luck, strength and patience for yourself and your healing. ❤
I think they are more like taboo issues than systemic. They aren't talked about because people don't like to acknowledge it
@@luckluca8982 refusing to acknowledge the reality of what's happening is how you allow it to KEEP happening.
The censorship protects the monsters 😢
I'm a victim of childhood s.a. as well and I agree with you.
The first video... I had to watch as my moms drug dealer boyfriend grabbed my kitten i found, break his neck, and throw his little body to dogs who then mauled the kitten until his organs fell out. I was 7 or 8 years old. I can remember screaming holding him until he took his last breath. Im 30 and it still destroys me. I've had many other horrible things happen to me, including CSA just before this incident, and I'd rather deal with that over watching my only friend get murdered in front of me. It broke me and to this day I have issues with people and lacking empathy for a majority of humans. Now animals.... I'll lay my life on the line for them. Humans.... Naaaaaaaaah!
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
I am so sorry and I agree. More compassion for animals instead of people.
That guy should have been locked up for many years. Sadly its more likely someone who used a crop on a horse would be charged and punished before he would with how messed up our legal system is
This brought me to tears. I’m so so so sorry. I saw a post about someone killing a kitten once (it was uploaded to MySpace before censoring things like that was standard) and I was so disturbed by it I cried for a whole week about the poor abused kitten. I can only imagine what that was like for you to witness firsthand. I hope you will one day reunited with your kitten friend in heaven. I believe spirits (even animal spirits) are never gone for good. I hope your Kitty friend comes and visits you in a dream and lets you know they still exist on another plane of existence, they don’t blame you at all for their death, and that they love you and miss you. ❤
I’m so sorry that happened to you ☹️ and you had to witness that. That’s terrible. I send you so much loveZ
Trauma has the ability the heighten empathy or remove empathy altogether due to desensitization.
That detransition case is similar to one in the US where a quack doctor used a case where a one boy out of a set of twins had a botched circumcision and pushed to forcibly transition him into a girl. That doctor was trying to push research claiming that it was nurture over nature that determined gender, but he was also falsifying data like how the forcibly-transitioned child generally refused typical girl roles and toys and was more interested in things which generally drew boys' interests. He eventually found out, detransitioned, but unfortunately the mental toll of it all would lead him to take his own life
Yeah that case broke my heart. I never understood how people can see what happened to him, and still think people somehow can’t know their own gender identity.
the bruce reimer case?
@liamevans1508 His transition was forced upon him, it wasn't his choice or decision.
@@SaethyrI did say he was forcibly transitioned
@@lindyt3942Yes, I had (un)fortunately forgotten that in the moment, but it compounded the abuse he inflicted on those boys
...This video left me seething angry, at the ..'parents' who treated their children in the worst way possible, but also breaks my heart, at the children who were ruined by their PARENTS. I genuinely hope the 'parents' receive their judgement.
Story 16 reminds me of the Canadian case of David Reimer he was born a male but due to a botched circumcision he was then 'raised' as a female, I'm not doing the case justice in this comment. The whole story was an absolute mess and sadly iirc David is gone. It was used as inspiration for a Law & Order SVU Episode. The true case is a horrifying disgrace on so many levels. David deserved so much more.
Both brothers have now passed.
@@zombinosh I had read that it’s tragic
The undertone in this video is the saddest.
Often the most fucked up cases have situations that it's almost impossible for victims to grow out of it, and there is pretty much nothing to lighten the burden for them.
Let alone for them to start healing.
the worst part is how people will them basically blame you for being screwed up as an adult, because society has this idea that you're supposed to just get over it and "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" and all that shit.
but like, HOW? how are people supposed to be successful and live normal lives when they're set up to fail from the start?
and they are judged for being unlikable or not trying hard enough. ugh. the wrong therapist makes you worse.
I am very glad my parents "just" ignored me and my issues as soon as I became a weird teenager. Teachers also ignored my issues and schoolmates bullied me into oblivion. I am now 25 and have the self confidence of a queen. I will never be like before. I will always need medication to keep me stable. But it is ok. I am autistic, it turns out, and I deserved nothing of this. I am a good kid and I will do great one day. I have no emotional bonds to my family, but my friends mean everything to me.
Omg I'm dealing with the same situation I'm 17, can you give me some tips for becoming confident too?
@@PR1NCESSBXRBIESure! Ok first of all you need to understand the basics. You are a human! Just like everyone else! Being different doesn't make you bad! It makes you you! For example: I LOOOVVVEEEE Pokémon. So I own it. Oh it's just for kids? Well a bunch of adults created it! Same with all the other things deemed for kids only: A bunch of adults got together, liked the idea and boom! New things for me to enjoy. Next you need to realise, that you are full of faults, mistakes and stupid decisions. Because you are a human. But guess what? You can learn and improve. BECAUSE YOU ARE A HUMAN HURRAY! And lastly: You own the world! You can do whatever the f*ck you want and who is telling you who can't? Wanna learn a new language? Do it, nothing is stoping you! Learning how to build fireworks? YT has videos for that! You can do whatever you want :3 Your live is in your hands and your hands only.
Once you saved those 3 things in your heart, the confidence will come from alone. Because by then you know exactly, who you are and what you want!
@@leaflet1686omgg thanks for replying and those 3 tips make me a bit optimistic about my future 😭😭
also have a nice day!! I'm sure you're the type to make a bad say better from how you sound so keep going with it!!
@@PR1NCESSBXRBIEYour future will be going great, so don't worry to much about it. Just work hard and take plenty of self care hours. You're going to be just fine!
This sounds so much like me. I'm only getting worse though because my response to my situation was to dissociate from my emotions. I have yet to process any of it or learn how to just be in the moment, I'm trying but nothing is working and no one believes how much I'm struggling because I'm almost never visibly distressed.
About bringing awareness to these stories: I had a fairly suboptimal and traumatizing childhood (not nearly as bad as the stories in this thread though), so violence amd abuse are natural parts of life to me. One time at work, we were joking about being violent in conflicts and I said "nonviolent conflict resolution?that's not how I learnt it at home!" and my boss was shocked and asked me in a very serious tone "really?" - "yep" - "wow, I thought those times were long gone." he answered (I'm 20 and he is 50). I was surprised that violence is a topic so far from reality for him, but honestly, I'm just happy for him that he did not have to endure violence, and it shows. He is one of the nicest, most psychologically resolved and resilient people I know. To all the people saying they turmed out fine in spite of the violence and that we shouldn't complain: you did not turn out fine. Instead of being aware of your problems, you pass them on.
Sometimes, I wish there was a way to volunteer at places like the orphanage for abused children and just be with them.
Not get them to talk about anything, not to try and diagnose them or anything. But to just be a regular adult who comes by and plays with toys with them, colors with them, asks about their favorite color, or even just sits in the room quietly while they stare at the wall just so they have a bit of company. They know why the therapists and doctors want to talk to them. It would probably be nice to have someone who is there to just be with them.
It would probably be a good way to foster good relationships with adults and caretakers, but the possibilities for abuse or to accidentally mess with their ability to form attachments/give them abandonment issues is so strong.
Probably should need a test to see if the volunteer would be bad or good
I don't know about what resources are available wherever you live, but off the top of my head, Big Brothers Big Sisters is supposed to be something a little like that --- an organization that screens volunteers, and pairs them up with children who just need a good mentor to love them.
I also know that when I worked as a respite care worker for children with special needs, that was kind of my role:just be a regular adult who cares about those kids and lets them know they can be safe and be loved with you. For that matter, working as a camp counsellor was largely the same thing. (I still think about a lot of those kids, and the families they were cursed with. I hope they're ok now.)
So, organizations for these caring roles do exist --- they're just not always easy to find. Even worse, sometimes the tragedies are happening just beyond your reach, or just beyond your sight. Usually, the best you can do is find what needs exist near you, and try to help as you can. It's something, at least.
I’d like this job where do I sign up 😢
@@rheannagold6620it’s not a job you’d get paid for
You’d have to screen out predators
If it helps anyone, as someone who was abused as a child and has been suicidal, the kindness from people does help. Whether it's during the trauma or after. I still remember the teacher who was kind to me during an anxiety attack, the friends parents who gave me the ability to go out and do stuff, the nurses who tried to help. The little people who did those little things matter and are remembered. Whether they end up dead or not, it mattered to just make the day a tiny bit better, more safe, more comfortable, less alone.
Story 16 is actually the lived experience for many intersex people, but the fact that this baby just didn't have a penis the doctors thought was big enough is next level. I think the medical system does changes like these on babies less often now, but I'm sure it still does happen all too often. While trans folks can struggle to get the care we need, intersex children have it decided for them. Different sides of the same coin, but both ruin lives. Don't decide people's genders and sexes for them.
thank you for this comment, I was going to say it and I saw that you put it far more succinctly than I could have.
Unfortunately in present day at least in my country this still happens all the time. I know that the parents and doctors probably believe they're making the "right decision" and maybe that they are "eliminating confusion later in life" but all too often it does more harm than good to make that decision for a child before they've grown into who they will be. Intersex kids are just as normal as everyone else and they should be allowed to grow and understand themselves before any surgical decisions are made
Literally this. People who need this care to save their lives have no access to it, yet someone naturally is born with a unique sex trait and they *have* to CHOOSE one for them, and force reassignment surgery on a CHILD. Does this not ring a bell? 🛎️
My mom thought I was effeminate so she put testosterone in my food when I was growing up she was a medication nurse and it wasn’t a controlled substance yet I still transitioned. But thanks to her I have to undergo some very difficult things in society that I might not have had to.
@@BunnyJosuke nobody forces reassignment on trans kids they don’t do reassignment on trans kids but somehow they do it on intersex kids and that’s perfectly all right for some reason they won’t explain.
@@DanaTheInsane I'm not talking about trans kids getting surgery I'm talking about a grown adult being able to just have the choice to get that surgery. And yet there are intersex babies born that doctors or parents choose the gender of, thus giving them a sex reassignment procedure. But yes I agree it's fucked, and I understand no access to hrt to children but I don't see an issue with something like t blockers, can always stop taking those, wearing appropriately sized binders and changing clothing and other appearance aesthetics. All of these things too depend on the age/maturity of the child, readiness to take on responsibility and whether it's really right for them! Coming from a NB afab person with top surgery and took t for a while, I seriously wish there was more education on this in school so I wasn't so confused for so long.
To anyone who needs to hear this today.
Your loved
I love you
Im here for you
Its okay
Everything in the end will be ok
Feel free to vent in the reply comments
So I’m neurodivergent and when my brother does annoying things directed at me, I get easily bothered and distracted, and my mom knows this. Though, she acts like this is somehow my fault and that I should just not get distracted. Yesterday, while we were watching a movie and there was this fight scene. And, my mom was explaining to me how this is a situation where I would need focus to win, and that if I don’t I would be put at a disadvantage. (basically explaining to me why I need to focus). Like, I live through this everyday and I know better than anyone what problems can come out of this. What are you trying to achieve out of telling me this? This still infuriates me.
@@existentialchaos8 I understand. I'm nerodivergent too.
@@unicatsrdabest :D
Thank you. You made me cry. I feel seen.
Vent in the comments and youtube cowardly deletes them like they do with every other comment
"their reality was too much for me." That hit way too close to home. I have been throug some horrible shit (CSA, physical and mental abuse, i remember i was forced to eat my own puke one time) and often notice that while i can talk about it now other people cant. Sometimes I say something i think is normal and have people look at me with so much pitty in their eyes and i yet again realize another thing i think was normal is clearly messed up.
Edit: story 16: this is horrible. I am trans myself. What happend to that man is absolutly disgusting.
Nobody should ever have to live as a gender they don't identify with. I want to clip that entire story and use it to explain how I feel and why I feel a *need* to be treated as a girl, but I also realize that anyone who I'd need to explain that to would also probably just use it as "AH LOOK THEY'RE FORCING KIDS TO BE TRANS" completely ignoring the freaking point. It's so... Frustrating.
@@StormTheSquid exactly. What that man went through is horrible and it is clear as day. For us it can be just as horrible.
if anything that story just PROVES that being trans is a thing and that you cant force someone to identify as another sex because your brain KNOWS what chemistry it has, even if your genitalia doesnt match!
🏳️⚧SOLIDARITY!🏳️⚧and LOVE!🏳️🌈from Texas!
@@StormTheSquidExactly. Forcing someone to be something they’re not is traumatic, but they can’t possibly see that.
This... unfortunately reminds me a lot about my own childhood. I had a bad childhood, and still suffer from problems today, but the things these kids went through... it sounds so much worse for them. From one broken kid to another, my heart goes out to anyone who has been affected by childhood abuse in any way.
❤❤❤
Ended up abused as a toddler locked in a restroom with the lights off, starved, and beaten. Later throughout my childhood I broke my left collarbone multiple times. Ended up training in martial arts, and learned self control. Barely saw my dad. Mom was homeless. I lived with my grandparents.
Stories like these are one of the reasons I strive to work in the mental health field. I want to help people and make a difference, even a small one. I'm currently studying to go into art therapy, and hope that I can do a lot of good for a lot of people. Mental health is important y'all. Make sure to check up on your friends and loved ones, one small gesture to show you care can make a huge difference in someone's life
same
Sounds like you're going in the right field! We need compassionate people like you working with the vulnerable people. ❤
Stories like this make me not want to go to get treatment because these “professionals” have big mouths and can’t keep a secret from literally any random person asking them questions. I don’t care if you didn’t use my name. The last thing I want, is to click on a random youtube video and hear the worst details of my life out there for everyone to hear, forever.
It's stories like these that reinforces my knowledge that I am not mother material. Not that I would be abusive or neglectful, but I firmly believe that I don't have the lifestyle that is compatible with being the best parent possible. I do not want to make those sacrifices.
I desperately wanted children, but my lifestyle was such that I decided I would not be a good parent, so I avoided pregnancy. Now I am too old for kids, and I am a great dog parent. I’m so grateful I knew not to have kids.
This is why I feel bad for such a stigma surrounding mental illness, you often hear so much negativity about cluster B disorders, especially narcissistic and borderline, like the people were actually born like this and chose to be this way. 98% of the time they are caused by severe trauma and the disorder is a coping mechanism that the nature created to protect these kids sanity. It´s easy to look at someone with NPD and say they are evil, but to be ablo to see them as humans with mental illness is something most people can´t do. It´s hard because they inflict pain on others, but at the same time this is because someone else inflicted the same, maybe even worse pain on them. It´s a tragedy of a human life, not evil.
I used to have incidents when I casually talked about my horrible father or messed up family, and quickly learned that it's best to just not bring those things up in normal company.
There should be a law against helping that stay a societal norm, amirite?
@@frostfamily5321 YESSSSSSSSSSS PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE
I unfortunately had to learn the same thing, that people who have just heard about what I’ve been through get negatively affected by it, and every time I can’t help but think, “if you’re this upset about just hearing it, try living it” 💔
@@unionunicorn6776General question, how should someone react when you tell them those things? is there some "right way" to act? And if yes, can you please give an specific example?
@@ritaerror7829I would say the right way to act is just not make it a big deal. Say “man that sucked” and move on. I don’t get why people have to make everything so weird.
My therapist told me my own story was one of the worst ones she heard. This is because my mothers form of punishment instead of making me or my siblings sit in timeout or something was to put us in solitary confinement. For weeks at a time. She would take everything out of our rooms and then lock us in. The other siblings weren’t allowed to acknowledge the one in solitary. This started when we were toddlers and lasted until our teens. The longest any of us spent in solitary was 2 months.
I'm sorry to hear that hope your doing better now.
That's horrific. It's so well documented that solitary confinement is harmful for adults, for a kid in that age span I can't word how much more harmful it would be. I'm so sorry that you and your siblings went through that.
Not a therapist, but the worst story i've heard is that of Genie. She's what's referred to as a "Wild Child," though she has more commonly been nicknamed "The Forbidden Experiment." Why? Because when the authorities found her, she would barely walk, couldn't eat solid food, drooled everywhere, was incontinent, and could not speak. She was so malnourished they thought she was 8 years old. She was actually 14. None of this behavior was due to any birth defects or physical developmental delays - she didn't have Down's or cerebral palsy or anything like that. She was born perfectly healthy and normal. All of her behavior, her lack of development, was a result of the most severe abuse anyone had ever seen. I'm not describing it here because it was just that bad. Look it up if you wish, but don't say I didn't warn you. Finding her was akin to finding a child who had been raised by wolves. Hence, "wild child." Genie was of interest to scientists because her situation posed one of science's unanswerable questions: at what age is a child no longer able to acquire language? We still don't know the answer to that question, but we do know that whatever age it actually is, Genie was past it. She did learn to speak under the scientists' care, but not to the degree of you and i. She hit a roadblock. Sadly, the story of Genie does not have a happy ending. Once the research money dried up, she was given to the foster system. One of the families beat her for vomiting, and after that she never spoke again. Her development once again stagnated. If she is still alive today, she is being held in a special care facility.
omg. the system failed her so many times.
@@GiordanDiodatoAbused kids learn young that adults only ever care when they have something to gain for doing so 😢
I relate and understand so many of these stories but also feel comforted that my abuse didn't ever get this bad. The way this kind of abuse destroys you is horrifying. I find this video strangely healing.
As someone with ptsd who never even had anything close to this bad, one of the worst things is that you feel the need to continuously apologize for anything, even if you did nothing wrong. In these cases the people might feel they are the problem aswell. That they are a burden to everyone else because they can’t control the things they do so they can only apologize after. It truly is distressing to apologize for everything, then someone may say you don’t have to say sorry and you say it again because you feel bad and it’s an endless loop until they get so mad they yell at you.
Vent. Don’t need to read if you don’t want to (to anyone seeing this).
I also feel the same way with what you said about constantly apologizing, like it’s just ingrained in you because you were always led to believe as a child that everything is your fault. Sometimes I even instinctively apologize to the person who hurt me… because I existed and was in their way I guess? And every time something goes wrong, I always immediately think that it’s somehow my fault and so I get so anxious.
I also get nervous when going out to an appointment, like to therapy or to piano lessons etc. because I feel like I did something wrong already… I guess that stemmed from me always going to school without having done my assignments and then having teachers ask me to talk to them during/after class about it, and confrontation always makes me anxious. That was then because I always got berated and punished for doing something wrong and making mistakes by my parents and older siblings when I was younger. I think the root reason why I had a hard time in the first place was because up until now, I highly suspect that I have some form of ADHD and/or Autism that made it hard for me to do things in general but also in the way people expect of me. So now I’m mentally ill along with the neurodivergence that I already have :’[
Sorry for venting if it is unwanted, I just thought to share my own experiences related to this as well. I hope you have also started healing from all these things that you said. Even if things have been hard and are still hard now, I hope that we all can find comfort and happiness now or in the future, and that we can reach a point where we are finally content with our lives no matter the circumstances :’] I wish that you have a good day or night, to anyone reading this
@@mcsy98 venting isn’t an issue, everyone needs to do it. I hope the best for you aswell.
Thanks for including the story about being traumatized by nature. That's something I believe is mostly not thought about in general but absolutely, experiencing a natural disaster could be incredibly traumatizing.
The story 5 minutes in is a lot like my older sister's experience... My dad (her stepdad) was abusing her. She would go days without pooping and started having accidents in school. Yep. It's awful that this happens and being younger than her, I never understood it. I'm so sorry that I didn't know sooner. Awful.
I have one. I knew a family that abused their daughters in some of the most unimaginable ways. At 10 and 12 the girls were hooked on cocaine, and if they didn’t do as their mother demanded… namely selling themselves to the various men that came through.. they were denied their fix. CPS was called, cops were called, but in the interest of not separating families, (natives) the girls were left in place until they were 14 and 16. They were finally taken by the authorities. Made me so sick.
That’s absolutely horrendous to keep them in a “home” like that. Absolutely heartbreaking. 😢💔
@@unionunicorn6776 it was unconscionable.
Horrid authorities
I think these stories are important for people to understand how mental illness happens. Maybe it will help erase some of the stigma. Thank you. 💚
If you tried to be a friend the child will remember the good you gave them. Sometimes there is too much hurt to overcome
As a parent I could never imagine doing any of this to my kids I love my kids and I would die to protect them from anyone who wants to harm them
I was a victim of a step grandperv, I was only 12 at the time and I was too scared to tell my parents about what was happening and he paid us hush money. Fast forward after more traumas with abusive relationships, trying to end my own life 3 times, and giving my life to christ, I met the most amazing guy last year and as badly as I wish to be closer.. mentally I just can't handle it. Even tho he's assured me that he won't do anything to me without my consent, I still end up on edge-- I always wonder where I would be now if I hadn't been abused like that. Maybe I'd be happily married, and not a scared asexual woman in her 30s worried every man is only being nice to hurt me in some form. The scars in the mind are the least likely to heal fully, we're working on our relationship but it's been so hard that I go into PTSD attacks when even snuggled up close. Come to find out that side of the family is littered with similar incidents, family curses are real.
It is important for you to remember that none of this your fault. You don't have to justify yourself.
@@basnaspe4578 I know it wasn't my fault now, but back then. My teenage brain blamed me, and I lived every single day with the guilt of it that I'd somehow caused this to happen and I'd somehow deserved it. I know better now, but the permanent damage mentally is whole other can of worms.
This is not your fault. @@peachesscales4782
I worked as a patient sitter for a very large metro hospital. My very first patient was a 7 year old girl who had been smekuly abused, and decided to unalive herself. She was found hanging by her neck, but was saved in barely the nick of time. The sitting job was to keep her from unaliving herself until there was a psyche bed, and to prevent the mother from coming to collect her. I sat with her for a couple of weeks, and she was a very dear little girl, all the hospital staff agreed. She still tried to unallive herself again, using an electrical cord, and despite the intermediary counseling she was getting. They finally got her a bed at a psychiatric facility.
I occasionally wonder if she was ever ok.
My aunt and uncle fostered severely disabled children when I was younger. (Both amazing humans who had masses of excess love to give) they got this adorable little boy about 7-8 who was mostly none verbal. His birth parents were both addicted to heroin and had been locking him in a rabbit hutch when he wasn’t being sold to the local child molester for drug money. He was removed because the molester was caught for another child related crime and confessed to his visits with this poor little boy. When my aunt and uncle got him he had never seen a tomato or banana and quickly fell in love with both fruits. Mum and dad were jailed for (I believe) less than 5 years and both went on to have more children (my uncle keeps tabs on them) the little boy is now a very happy young man who adores his adopted mum and dad more than life! He gets the BEST of everything and is thriving! -they adopted him when he was about 9-10. And I’m happy to say he’s a very loved and valued member of our family. Being none verbal it’s hard to know exactly how much he remembers but his reaction to seeing a rabbit hutch suggests he remembers a lot!
regarding children and their "ability to love," it's actually really sad.
at one point in my life i wanted to be a teacher, so i went to college for that, which means i've taken a fair amount of childhood psychology and development classes.
and the thing about how abused children will STILL love their parents, despite what can be horrific abuse, it's not so much an ability to love, as is it that children are biologically hardwired to form an attachment to their primary caregivers. it's not like how baby birds imprint, but for all intents and purposes, it might as well be.
because as babies, and then young children, we're wholly dependent upon our caregivers to meet our needs, both physically and emotionally. and our caregivers as young children are the ones who give us all of our information about the world. i mean think about it, you could easily teach a 2 year old that the sky is green, and they would grow up believing that, because where else are they going to get their information from?
and because of what the brain of a child is doing developmentally during those early years, whatever they learn as young children pretty much becomes hardwired into them, like it becomes the basis for all the rest of their programming, if you will.
so when it comes to abusive parents, children are pretty much programmed by their own neuro development to attach themselves to their caregivers, to "love" them, to seek those people out for all their needs, both physical and emotional. so when a child has normal emotional needs like love and a sense of safety, the people they're going to seek out to get those needs met are their parents. and when those parents DON'T meet those needs, a child will learn from that. They'll learn that the world is an unsafe place, that they are unsafe, that their needs will go unmet, and that there's nothing they can do about it (because there isn't anything they can do as young children). and yet they will STILL continually seek those people out to have their emotional needs met.
but the constant neglect and not getting their needs met ends up interfering with normal, healthy emotional development, and that's where you get trauma. You get kids who don't know what's normal or appropriate and what's not, so they act out the same behaviors they learned at home, because that's what they've been taught. you get children who don't feel safe or secure even into adulthood, who have learned that they weren't ever "worthy" of being loved properly, so they sabotage even healthy relationships because they don't think they deserve healthy relationships. you get people who continually re-enact the same patterns of behavior that they grew up with, who seek out the same types of abusive people as partners, because their brains are subconsciously trying to "fix" what was broken by re-enacting it and getting it right this time (except it doesn't work that way). you get kids who grow up into adults but still hold all the same screwed up and tragic core beliefs about themselves, like how they aren't good enough.
and you get people so screwed up because of their unhealthy development that it takes YEARS and years to work through all that trauma and re-wire their brains and heal. and unfortunately, some kids grow up so badly damaged, with no intervention when it's critically necessary, and no resources to deal with their trauma in their adulthood, that they never get the chance to recover or embark on their healing journeys.
the sad truth is, that because kids are wired to love their primary caregivers no matter what, that very facet of their attachment and development ends up being part of what traumatizes them so much.
just wanted to say you are absolutely right, this is why it is so important to teach children that they should love themselves above anyone else
Man, relate to a lot of this stuff. Sometimes I get into this mindset that I'm alone and nobody else can fathom what ive been through. Videos like these are important and remind severe child abuse victims like myself that were not alone.
These are truly heart shattering. These are our children, our future. They are some of most innocent and precious souls on earth. We are supposed to protect them, and this is what happens
Had a therapist who had me for less then 2 months...she got mad saying "you aren't suicidal but also don't care to live. I can't help with that." And then when I asked for a new doctor, she asked me what I thought someone else could so that she hasn't tried....I told her "longer than 2 months at least."
My very first meeting with her was her saying "you are going to be a tough cookie."
...I still can't understand it unless she just wanted easy work..
All therapists are just a key to more trauma. I suspect ppl who say they had a good therapist are getting paid
Or they are a therapist
Or they had an issue that was essentially not that hard
I’m convinced people who have good therapists are people who can afford good therapists. I have seen a few different people. State run places, private practices, independents, the only good therapist I had I only saw twice before my dad couldn’t afford her anymore. Every sliding scale fee or “affordable” place was a joke. I saw a woman once, I told her some of my stories and the first thing I remember her saying was telling me that “girls like you end up dead or in jail” I was already at such a low point in my life with no self esteem and hearing that was like, yeah.. nobody’s on my f*cking side what’s the point.
Happy to say despite being failed by the mental health industry, I have come a long long way, I beat benzo addiction & alcoholism and my mental demons on my own. Through hard work, a constant conscious effort, and hard determination, I did it myself. You can do it alone. I’m tired of hearing people say you can’t do it alone.
think about how these therapists are effected just HEARING the situations. Now think about going through it, truly unimaginable.
It's so sad these parents would abuse they're children in horrendous ways it makes me hate this planet even more and it makes me have a distaste for humanity
people think they are doing good by allowing everyone the "right" to have children not matter what
I'm pausing the video at 12 minutes because it's hard. I'm going to continue the video because it's worth it.
I finished the video and it was worthwhile.
Today, my found family picked up one of our friends from the psychiatric hospital. He's one of the sweetest people I know, but he's afraid his abuser will hurt someone else if the abuser is allowed to live. It's not my story to share, but I don't blame my friend. I just don't want him to lose his freedom or his life because of the monster who raised him.
I think the value of this video is priceless. Be kind to the next person you meet...you dont know what they've been through.
Hey, so, for story 16… We don’t refer to people with characteristics from both sexes as hermaphroditism - that’s only in plants now. 40 years ago, yeah, I suppose we still did used that word for people too. But nowadays we use the term intersex. I reckon you are saying it because you’re reading it, I’m not trying to “correct”you, I’m just trying to inform. I know of A FEW of those (and I’m in Latin America, so hey, maybe I even know of that one) but the OP seem to have a VERY outdated notion of what intersex is, they also seem to completely rule out intersex in a situation were intersex IS a possibility (there are many degrees of intersexuality, genetics are a bit more complex than suggested here). It just sounds VERY dry and outdated in how the story is told. Feels like it’s being told by someone with little current knowledge. THAT SAID, the story is very likely true. As I said, I know of a few of those. Intersex people used to suffer A LOT in medicine. Also, for anyone who might be confused on where this falls on “gender issues”, know that the LGBTQ community includes fight for intersex rights - specifically against medical intervention in infancy- and I suspect trans people are far better allies to intersex people than cis people usually are…
I feel horrible for all of these poor kids but especially the guy in story 16, as a trans man I understand how confusing understanding yourself is and I couldn't imagine being a cis man who was forced by doctors and my parents to appear as a woman. I think that would actually break me.
As an intersex transmasc who is only just in the process of finding out my proper diagnosis, and recognizing that my mother was genuinely lied to by an extremely fucked up hospital staff, I hurt so badly for my fellow intersex and trans people. I am lucky that my symptoms were not worse given circumstances surrounding my birth, and I wish more perisex folks were aware of all our struggles. So thank you for being compassionate, and I encourage you to do what you can to learn more and spread awareness within your means. 🫂🧡
Its absolutely disgusting they forced a child to have a different gender, and all just because they had small genitals? Its messed up
LOL
Why do I keep watching these all they do is make me 😭😭😭😭
Actually gonna sit this one out - Really appreciate that you're using content warnings :)
Once or twice, I have been touched inappropriately by boys around my age, and I was told that “didn’t count” whatever that means, since they were also minors. I still feel kind of sad and confused, and would appreciate any info you guys have to give.
It still counts as it appears it still affects you. Don't let anyone invalidate your experience. The term that would be used is molestation - signed a mental health professional
Thank you for tackling a topic that is so often avoided
Even if I'm not a therapist, I think sharing my own experiences is a good idea. It certainly isn't as bad as many of these stories, but it takes a toll on anyone I tell about it.
My "father" abused me all my life. He forced infant me to cry it out, which made me instinctively untrusting of others. When my mom died of cancer when I was 3, he forced my full sister to raise me when they were only 8. He would rarely cook, would rarely buy anything we needed, and would buy himself tons of food and shit that we weren't allowed to have. I was so underfed my entire life that even having decent meals now can make my stomach hurt extremely bad at 19.
He'd beat me until I was around 10 or so, and he always apparently said it was because "you're a woman now" like a creepy pedo. He'd do horrible verbal sexual abuse to me (not to mention my sister, the abuse done to them was much worse, but still not physical), and make me feel so disgusting. I started to neglect my hygiene, as many people who are any type of sexually abused tend to do, in an attempt for him to just stop commenting on my body. He'd scream at me all the time, and tried to kill me and my sister once each, at different times. He wouldn't even let me clean the house, even when it was mold and bug infested, and still is. He thinks I'm worthless, but won't say it when anyone else is listening, and thinks my noona will kick me out for "being a horrible woman".
My noona doesn't really know most of what I experienced, so she doesn't have any opinion on it. But I know she wouldn't kick me out if she knew it all. If I told her, though, my "father" would gaslight her and try to make her so stressed she'd die. He's a horrible man.
Oh and I'd like to add; medical abuse. He still to this day refuses to see that I have major health issues, and even has told me I'm somehow faking a literal blood disorder, thalassemia, where my blood cells are actively not the right shape. Somehow he thinks I'm faking that, doesn't believe I have really bad pollen allergies to the point of needing medication to prevent anaphylaxis, and even doesn't get why I need an inhaler when HE tried to drown me, so my lungs can't handle normal capacity breathing even
Hopefully, you are in a better place now, mentally and environmentally, away from your father.
@@thisuser1580 I'm living with my noona, but she thinks he's not a bad person when he is. And I need to be filed on his taxes just to get healthcare. So I'm not that far away from him, unfortunately
I hope your situation gets better. Reach out to people you trust
@@jax99888 Thank you, my sister is actually taking me for a weekend just to get away from this mess. If they had more money, they'd take me entirely away from it
@@lovelysakurapetalsyt good to hear that you at least get a break.
The case of the forced sex change is a real nice show of what being raised as a gender you aren't can do to a kid. Yet we still fight to make life for kids and adults hell just because they are a gender that differs from the one they are 'supposed' to be
The most frustrating thing about having a horror story on this level is that finding a therapist is so much harder. To get help for me, instead of spending MY therapy time comforting THEM through what happened to me, I need a therapist who can keep their feelings under control to actually do the work. Tearing up and looking like you want to give me a hug? Nope, eliminated, next. A mild expression of shock and a bland “Wow, that sucks,” is the best response. It means they care but also have a convincing enough medical kayfabe that they can handle picking apart the rat king of bullshit that my upbringing caused.
I can’t help but feel resentment for the level of comfort and validation that people with “normal” levels of trauma get. I also resent the idea that people with normal levels of trauma are “just as valid” as we are. They don’t need more validation. We get left behind all the damn time in the interests of triage, in favor of people with more “relatable” traumas. I want *help,* I don’t want people whining at me that what I went through is “hard to hear” or crying at me because I made them sad by existing after the shit that happened to me.
Yeah it’s painful to tell someone your story and get looks of shock and horror on their faces. It’s painful because it makes you feel like a circus show freak, instead of a human being who needs help picking up the pieces after someone else shattered your life. 😢
My wife was looking for an online psychiatrist. She filled out the questionnaire and the Dr told her she needed to find a local dr asap or check herself into a facility. Like wtf? My wife felt like they were saying she was too much. Where do you go when your trauma is too much for a professional to handle ffs?
fr the pity and uncertainty of how to interact with you gets old fast
Facts! It’s so hard to find a competent therapist who understands complex trauma and shows empathy and not pity
I agree except with the “everyone is valid” statement. Everyone’s trauma is equal in terms of how it feels to them. But I do agree that people who get shocked or cry…it’s like…wth? Get a grip. Bad things happen in the world.
It’s just heartbreaking that people had to actually go through this
11:53 with the way Sparked reads this line, you can tell he doesn’t know what “A Child Called It” is
Do we WANT to know what it means? I know it is going to mean something terrible given the video.
@@xanithdegroot5407 it's a pretty famous memoir by someone who was abused and treated as subhuman as a child. I had to read it for 6th grade summer reading...yikes.
I used to read the book growing up, it made me realize that I was being abused/neglected and I still have the book (I even bought the sequel books last year). Definitely not something to read unless you are ready to cry for that boy and feel absolutely disgusted by what the mom did to him.
@@xanithdegroot5407 it's a truly upsetting memoir of a man's experience with child abuse at the hands of his mother. The subsequent books (Lost Boy, A Man Named Dave) go into his experience in the foster care system and growing into a broken adult. I read it in middle school just out of morbid curiosity, I've never been the same since. It really shaped my perceptions of parenthood and how I wanted to be with my own kids one day (which I now have 5) also made me very passionate about foster care, it is my goal to be a foster parent one day. It's a very upsetting read, but something I definitely recommend.
I remember having to read this book in school but I can't remember the grade. I still have my copy of it.
This just made me remember a repressed memory... 😥
But please keep talking about these things, people need to understand that this happens all the time! 💔
This was rough, but i can't think of a better narrator to balance it out. Thank you!
As someone who is trans I think I can provide insight on story 16. First of all, completely fucked up of them to do that to him. What he experienced being raised as a woman is a lot like the experiences of that of a traditional trans person, but obviously in reverse. Things felt wrong, relationships didn't work, etc. Although not explicitly mentioned I imagine he went through a lot of dysphoria that was likely hard to describe and pinpoint. And only when he could get things corrected did things fall into place. This is why if someone, especially kids, wants to do something with gender expression, you let them. Preventing them from doing so will cause harm that is incredibly similar to this case. Nobody should be forced to live with a gender or form of gender expression that is not theirs. So please, if your kid comes to you about being trans, let them sell medical intervention, let them have puberty blockers, let them socially transition. Denying any of these things is harmful to the same degree as what that man went through.
Unfortunately some of my relatives who grew up on farms had pretty bad childhoods. A lot of them liked cats, but servers times they were forced to drown kitten when they were under 10 years old. It really messed them up and as a fellow cat and animal lover I can’t even imagine how traumatic that would be.
I will always have a deep empathy for "troubled" children. I myself wasn't horribly abused in my past or anything, but I was bullied constantly at school pretty much from the moment I stepped into kindergarten all the way until my bully left the school when I was in grade 6 or 7 (one of those private christian schools that does preschool all the way to yr 12), and my parents never did anything the times I tried to say something, which led to some pretty bad anger issues I took out on my little brother. That's when my parents took notice and didn't respond in the ways one would hope parents would react when a six-year-old is having a "temper tantrum", and let's just say I've grown to go on alert every time someone calls me by my full deadname because historically, it's never meant good things. I'm better with my anger issues now, but it took quite the journey to get there and even now, it's still a struggle, and I'm almost twenty.
So when I see these stories and examples of these kids acting out like that, being violent or antisocial or shy or whatever, I always just wish the best for them.
5:36 I had to tap out. I am not mentally strong to hear more. I am so sorry for all these children 😢
It's so hard to deal with kids after this amount of abuse. We do foster care, so we have to live and work with these kids, usually they have lots of fears and traumas that we have to work through, it causes strain on the family too, I've gone from mentally stable to I'm not sure I'm gunna make it so many times because of how helpless and innocent these kids are, and it's so awful to see.
Story 16 and the case of David Reimer prove that gender identity is an innate human experience and cannot be changed from outside influences. You cannot be told what your gender is; its something you know on the inside. Trans rights 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
That's the same take away I had and love pointing to it as an example of how all this "they're turning our kids trans" shit is just that, bullshit
I admire that you did this topic!
Much respect!
Story 11. There's really no guarantee that adoption would go well, unfortunately. I was adopted as a baby to a couple that looked amazing on paper and appeared loving the first few years. Once I was in 1st grade though it all went down hill. I was abused on multiple levels by my adoptive "parents." I barely survived my early 20s. I know many other adoptees who have had similar experiences. Adoption agencies don't properly screen people. They just follow the money because, to adoption agencies, money=love.
God, why did I listen? I can’t have kids and to hear of these monsters that can and what they do to those precious children…makes me sick and doubtful of any higher being.
Why did you listen? To me it seems like you want to help. We all can't be therapists, but don't underestimate the weight of change that comes from each person being their best. It creates a culture where it's easier for people to find healthy avenues. Much like how older doctors are much worse at mental health than younger practitioners because our culture is just better at awareness these days.
Things people can do (not necessarily you)
1) learn to argue more compassionately, especially on the internet. Specifically I see a lot lf people who are waiting for a jerk to come by so they can be a jerk too. But the jerks want you to be abusive so they can feel vindicated for being an abusive jerk. And it creates a culture where people think being a jerk is the way to be.
2) look up how to talk to people who are in domestic violenct situations. All our instincts are usually wrong.
3) work on our own mental health. (Obviously)
4) really, really, super focus on boundaries. Online it means graciously accepting a block "hey all, they blocked me, respect the boundary they set". But also getting better about asking people better questions about their boundaries. "You told me to stop at x point, but were you getting tense before that?" "Do you need me to go into another room for you to gather yourself?"
There's lots more people can do. But I find these videos fuel my desore to get better at being emotionally healthy, and that's where all the anger, frustration, and helpless energy goes.
My therapist and psych nurse both said I was that to them. But they think I’m doing pretty well these days and I’m proud of that.
TLDR: I met a 12 year old with a 2 year old.
Story from the mental health care system of someone who fell through a crack:
I was in a metal hospital in the 90's and met a 12 year old with a 2 year old. She had been a ward of the state since birth. Adoption is really expensive not many in an area like mine can afford it.
She ended in one bad foster home after another a
nd was groomed at a very early age to think s*x with others in the household no mater their age was normal(sadly got an STI as a result as well) . To the point no one had ever had to force anything. Just ask the kid who did not really know any better.
People often take for granted being or shown from an early age that stuff like that is not alright.
It was not untill after the social workers started paying attention did she get better information and knew that a lot of it was illegal and she probably shouldn't with kids closer to her age.
They kinda had to pay more attention when she hit childbearing age at 9 while in another bad foster home.
Next thing you know she was with child.
Since she was a ward of the state and the state is not allowed to approve of termination of any sort , they had to let her carry it to term.
When I met her she was only in the mental hospital as they located a new foster home. She had occasional visits with her daughter. The kid just was not allowed in the ward with her.
A young girl with a young girl thru sex, omygod
As sad as it may be these stories help me keep going. They really make me count my blessings because as much as iv gone through I didn't have it this bad. While I went through some terrible things as a child I still had some people who cared to lean on and made sure I made it. To all those struggling out there I hope you also find the strength to keep going and make the best out of the shitty hand life threw you and I hope you have at least a few blessings to count.
ScoobyDoo taught us: In the end, the real monsters are always humans.
Hi just wanted to come back to this before to thank you creator for reading these stories and keeping the dialogue of the reality of too many children alive. The fact that this happens at all is disgusting. The fact that there are enough stories to fill thirty minutes and probably keep going, there are no words. I'm sure UA-cam is up in arms over it, but I'm glad the creator still posted it and still kept it up.
This was the first video I've seen with a disclaimer, thanks man
It’s truly incredible the harm that things parents/adults can do to children. I was raised in a violent home, I was never sexually abused, but was physically, emotionally and mentally abused. At a very young age,I knew it was all wrong and that I would NEVER abuse my children.
I always said that I would be sure to go through therapy before having children, and if I ever felt the urge to hit them I would put myself straight back into therapy.
Now, as a mother, I am so glad I worked so hard on myself before getting married or having a child. Even with all that work beforehand, the early days were especially hard. I had to constantly work on my own patience and self-control. Not that I felt I would harm my son, but just to be able to keep going and keep myself healthy so I could be the best mom to my son.
I know the hard work it takes to go from a dysfunctional childhood into being a successful parent (meaning being the best you can be for the child you have). I just wish all hurt children could come out of their childhood with the same access to help. But so many children fall through the cracks. So many adults grow up thinking they deserved how they were treated, and then go on to treat their own children the same way.
Sadly one of the most important videos on youtube. Advanced tech but mentally we have not all evolved as we should have. Parents teachers peers daily taking a massive toll on kids resilience. We need to be more of a community and be there for every one. I hope the future is bright
The story at 16:14 just hit me so hard. As a trans person I would hate so much to find out that I have a specific body bc of the dumbest reason at birth. That story just pushed all the buttons.
On a very different note, thanks for putting out vids. Makes my commutes much less boring even if the stories aren’t always happy.
This is hard to listen too. These poor kids. Breaks my heart how cruel ppl can be to children and how the system can fail these kids.
story 10 is like you sent your child to hell from which you tried to save her
God almighty. I agree with the closing comments. It's useful to know about kids having these horrible experiences so we can be alert to risks and try to help. I see so many kids acting feral, and I tend to assume their parents are "just" negligent. It's hard for me to comprehend people can abuse their own children in these ways.
Thank you for all the hard work! This must have taken so long to make.
🏳️⚧️About the story of the man who was essentially forced to transition, coming from a trans person I believe his decision to detransition is not offensive. He lived a life similar to most trans people- living as the gender you aren’t and not knowing why it’s not working until you discover your true identity. The only difference here is that he did start as the right gender but was forced without his knowledge to grow up as the wrong one. Detransition identities are valid, sometimes people make mistakes, sometimes people need to go back into hiding, and sometimes there are special stories like this. Transphobes use the existence of detransitioners as an argument against us but we accept them and they accept us.
yes you said it perfectly! i’m trans as well and was going to say that the story honestly isn’t politically dangerous just very sad. to me it’s similar to what intersex people have forced onto them since birth. stories like that only become “politically dangerous” when trans folks are blamed for an issue they didn’t create or play a part in ya know?
@@jade2201Plz stop dragging intersex ppl into your trans stories.
We have nothing in common.
One thing to that i learned from helping others for a long time is that sometimes theres no way you can save them. It would take a divine intervention and sadly we are no gods or goddesses.
Help those you can, and give those you can't forgivness.
These cases are the only thing that make me feel normal w the amount of abuse i went thru bc no human i ever talk to has empathy for me
As someone who was abvsed herself as a child (not by parents, I know that's a great privilege), I had my best time as a nurse in the closed psych ward. I have been to therapy myself, I still am, so I think knowing the pain and knowing the process of healing (and, to be fair, the team was amazing) has given me the greatest time as a nurse there. It was hard of course. But I also felt like I could help the most there.
that first story...
I don't care how "old school" you are with your punishments, you DO NOT shoot dogs in front of your kid. you will mess them up a lot.
The medical mistreatment of intersex children around the world is sadly a known phenomen. For a long time, medical professionals thought it would be best that these kids have a "clear" gender and not be "confused". The tales of these children and adults show how real and severe gender dysphoria can be, and imho it does not negate the experience of trans people at all.
And until recently most hospitals would destroy records of the operations done on intersex kids without their consent. So they would grow up feeling as if something was off but were intentionally kept in the dark.
I would like to say to anyone reading the comments
No matter how bad or how negligible it seems, trauma is trauma
It affects us long after it happens
Just because your worst is not as bad as someone else's worst doesn't mean that you should feel like it doesn't matter. In the end its still your worse experience
Ive been traumatized by my mom. Not to the extent of these people in the video or others in comments but its still something that gives me flashbacks and makes me cry at night years after the fact
It does get better, finding patience and forgiveness and care for yourself may not be easy sometimes but its possible. Whether its coming from other people or coming from your self
I hope we can get what we need and feel like we deserve the love and respect thats owed to us
I'm 33 years old, I have been in weekly/bi-weekly therapy for around 6 or so years. With every visit, I'm still learning how much I experienced in my childhood wasn't normal, but different types of abuse. Domestic neglect is the current one I'm working through with my therapist, because it isn't normal to be denied medical needs or attention, food, clothing, etc., when you're a kid.
Completely agree with the end commentary, this stuff happens way too much and it's never talked about. My best friend who's 23 JUST told me and her family about a sexual assault she had happen at 8 years old because I opened up to her about a similar story. It happens more often than it's talked about and it truly needs more awareness.
the worst thing abt childhood trauma is realizing how much it really fucked u up. i’m 21 and just now realizing how many things stem from my parents’ neglect
Story 12, oh my God
My parents are doing their best to be around now, and they love me, and they don’t have to work as much now, and they’re better now, but
When I was younger they would often be out for work and such. a LOT. This got to the point that if I didn’t get a hug from both of them, even if that meant waking up too early or staying up too late, I would cry. Ugly crying, snotting it up, it was a river of tears. My parents, especially my mom, criticized me and told the following contradictory things:
1. “What do you think?” Or “What would you like?” Then if my answer didn’t satisfy them “Oh, it wasn’t really a question.”
2. Only told me the good things they’d done in life for years. I barely saw them as parents, more like golden gods of perfection to be revered, and of course, feared. So when I strived to be like them and made a mistake, I thought “You piece of crap, mom and dad would never screw up like this.”
3. Etc. (more stuff my little brain tries to sand down the rough edges of/forget)
All this lead me to believe I was a piece of shit, my opinions didn’t matter, especially as long as everyone was happy, all positive reinforcement/compliments are lies, you should die, etc.
The cherry on top is that I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community, went to catholic school, and was SOO insecure about it. Yay.
I tried to take my life more than ten times, something my parents seem to have conveniently forgotten.
Thankfully, I got an amazing therapist and I’m working on recovering, and so are my parents (we’re all trying to get better mentally), plus I found support from people on the internet, but still. The damage done, which was not helped by my school, is still there, and my SH scars are a physical reminder.
P.S.: To all the people who didn’t really know me but still supported me, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
I’m just so glad you guys were here for me in my darkest hours.
15:22 this kid reminds me of my own experiences with violent outbursts, thankfully he's being given a lot more care and understanding than I am, I hope he's doing well
I agree, we should talk about this, even if we can’t help take it back, awareness and at least giving the people affected by trauma like this some sympathy even if their lifestyles are the opposite of the choices we would be making
Had a childhood that was very rough myself. It's still a struggle everyday due to severe CPTSD and the 30 other mental issues I luckily got blessed with.
I can relate to a lot of things in this video as well. Just know that YOU are beuatiful. YOU are worth it. YOU are NOT a waste. And that no matter where you have been, there is always a happy ending for you because there are people who do care.
Wow... what happened to the kids was horrible.
I think horrible is a understatement...
Story 13, OP was disturbing to me. Having children & raising them well shouldn’t involve sacrifice, it should be all about choices & priorities. Sure your life needs to change a lot. But, that doesn’t mean no fun. Being a parent should be loads of fun. You don’t sacrifice your fun party times, they change as your priorities change.
the fact that my childhood is a mix of almost all of these gets me thinking of how much of the fvcked up stuff i do is from my childhood-
Wow I didn't really think this would affect me so much , but I can't finish watching this right now. But I have to thank everyone that does the best they can to help ppl. It must be a calling. Especially children, elderly people and pets. Thank God for people who want to work in their field
I spent my working years as a psyche nurse largely. Now I volunteer as a CASA/GAL to help kids who do get into foster care navigate the legal world (hang out monthly or more and help write case reports as a third party observer).
Just applied for councelling after watching this. Hopefully, someone as caring as the people telling these stories can help me. Thank you.