I'm 39, and I've only ever been in one relationship that lasted 21 years. She met somebody else, which was the cause of the relationship ending. This happened back in November. As much as I wanted to save the relationship, I just couldn't deal with the betrayal. I too tried to cope by meeting other people, but that was derailed by this pandemic. Break-ups are never easy. But they really do teach us a lot about ourselves, what we're capable of enduring, and how strong we really are.
They really do teach us a lot! I learned a lot from my first breakup, and I can say I’m a way different person now. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. ❤️ I wish nothing but the best for you!
I started cutting off people that I felt toxic. Now I feel like I have no one around me and started to doubt whether I can maintain relationships. Feeling lonely makes me wonder whether it's just better to have toxic relationships than none.
Hey, just wanted to tell you that this comment resonated with me. When toxic behaviors are incredibly normalized, it's hard to figure out what to do (especially when for you, you can so clearly see how problematic they are). I often feel lonely for the exact same reason you mentioned. Maybe I'll make a video about it one day. My solution? Wait for quarantine to end, pick one city to live in, build up an incredible friendship network over years. I don't think there's a quick fix to this problem, unless you just luckily stumble into a few great people right away.
I came here from YesReneau’s Harvard videos. I’ve met many girls in your situation. TLDR get a dog whilst doing all your introspective work if you’re living in a new country, and focus your energy on your career. You’re not there to fix eachother’s issues and even worse as a bandaid for your own. Two independent people together with a shared future instead of co-dependency
6 months of healing isn't a long time for an almost 3 year relationship. don't rush and don't feel obligated to move on quickly. process your break up and i promise one day you'll wake up not crying or not thinking about "what could i do to save our relationship?". you're a strong independant woman and believe me, better days are coming up.
She said they hind of broke up a year ago and had problems for a year before. So they had problems for the past 2years and half of their relationship So I don’t think it’s necessary too fast
@@katherine258 oh i think i missed or didn't understand that part. my mother language isn't english. thank you but there isn't a time chart for heartache after a break up so it might still be so hard and painful for her ❤
@@katherine258 it can take years to get over a relationship. It just depends on the type of person you are, what kind kind of person your ex was, how traumatic your breakup was, your support system is and how your life is now.
4:30 Not recognising yourself, crying every few days and feeling disconnected from your true self is far too relatable. Somehow it is comforting to know I'm not the only one experiencing this right now
This video summarizes perfectly my ex and I's relationship and breakup. I had never felt more identified with someone and/or with a UA-cam video damn. Stay strong! Love you!
Same here! It was very reassuring to hear my story told by someone else. The best lessons are the most painful. In retrospection I look at it as the best thing that could have happened and imagining my life had the relationship not ended... scary! I lost myself for almost 5 years and it's taken almost 3 to fully recover but now, being on the other side, I have never been happier and emotionally independent. Can't wait to see what is coming next for Taylor :)
on the bright side you are one heartbreak closer to the love of your life now. that probably doesn't make sense but it was really brave of you to share this. i could see how you were struggling to be so vulnerable, but you did a fantastic job! proud of you taylor💙
Going through something very similar, my ex and I broke up last December and it’s been very hard for me since he was my first love and it was hard for me to realize how toxic our relationship had become. I found it hard to leave because i believed I could fix whatever was broken. Covid has definitely made it harder but it’s been nice to have time to reflect and realize the flaws in our relationship. It gets better! I’ve stopped randomly crying as less than I used to and even though I do occidental miss him, I know it’s for the best that we aren’t together. Self love, it’s amazing.
Thanks for sharing your healing with us. "Death by a thousand cuts" is so true when you emotionally don't feel present in the relationship. I won't speculate narcissism, but I am glad for people sharing their resources because I was in that kind of relationship. Sometimes a guy can fit every interest you like but the lack of maturity in a relationship can really hurt. I think it was very mature of you to find a way out of that situation because it can be very hard. I look forward to your next adventures! sending lots of love! You got this!
Thank you for sharing this Taylor. When you were talking about feeling isolated in a different country, I felt something a bit similar. I recently graduated and was looking for a job for months, failing and comparing myself to my friends. I felt really alone too and unfortunately met someone who didn’t see me as a long term partner, just a tool. It was my first relationship too. You’re really brave for recognizing that something was wrong and you had to change. I needed other ppl in my life to step in. I definitely learned from the experience on what to expect and how to treat myself better so I can reach my full potential. I pray for you and just know I’m healing with you!
International relationships can definitely be difficult, I dated a Dutch guy and I grew kind of dependent on him due to being in a completely different culture/country outside of the one I grew up in. Culture shock and adaptation is a long and arduous process, some people just aren’t as adaptive as others. I’m glad you made the decision to go out on your own again, prioritizing mental health is key. Best of luck and I know you’ll find someone else one day!!!
YesReneau, I'm glad you shared this, you are not alone. I was in a very similar situation with someone whom I loved very much we were even living together during the pandemic. I lost my job, lost the space we were living, and more importantly the person I thought I could always count on. I hate to say it but sometimes love isn't enough when you see that your partner isn't choosing you when it comes to the very important things. I'm 2 months in healing and can't wait to get to my 6 month mark!! Wishing you all the best during this new chapter, thanks again for sharing this, it just reminds me we are not alone in this. I especially feel the same way about ever finding someone again as well.
Live your best life, moving forward. Make a list of character qualities you’d like your future partner to have, and never settle for less than your dreams, sis! You’re worth more than just “settling for less.” Half way happiness is still misery. Do things that will make everyday meaningful, exciting, and memorable for you! The right man (for you) will come along, and so will the right friendships.💕🙏🏾 Ps. Painting challenge: paint your feelings on a big mural, and see the beauty in expressing that on canvas. Would be neat to see your art😍
I feel you. I'm two weeks into a difficult breakup after a long term relationship - almost two years. I really understand what you said about not recognising yourself and crying so often, I was there too for a few months. I know it's painful, but just know you're not alone ❤️
Honestly, I really relate to this because the few years after college was the worst years of my life. Like you said, I felt incredibly depressed and lost and had no idea who I was anymore more. I don’t think I could of even handle a relationship in that time. I’m a little older than you and just now getting my mojo back. Lol -life is definitely tough and has it’s rough patches.
Also experiencing a break up with a very similar timeline. It’s still rough. Some days I wake with a smile on my face excited to see the sunrise, others I can’t muster a single positive thought. Hang in there cookie. I still have every hope that things are going to be okay too.
I can not thank you enough for sharing this. I can relate in many ways in regards to someone in my life right now. Bless you. Especially during quarantine, this is going to have to be how we make connections and get human interaction. Thank you again, you are so strong!
Girl, take all the time you need to heal, 6 months is nothing. We’ve all had heartbreaks and we need a long ass time to heal completely, don’t worry about us. I wanted to say, I’m incredibly proud of you for leaving that relationship. Not because he was a bad person or because it was a bad relationship, but because you can’t rely fully (or almost fully) on one person for happiness. It’s not healthy in any way. Been there, done that. Being in a different culture, language, etc with barely any family or friends, can be very depressing - and being happy in our environment is crucial for our mental health. When you said that being in love isn’t enough, I felt that... and I’m glad you took that step to come back home. I promise it’ll get better.... ❤️
" you can't bet your happiness on the hope that someone else will change " wow, did you go through my break up or? so beautifully articulated and relatable. thank you for sharing, it's not easy. this literally brought me back to my own break up back in 2018 hehe... time heals. sending you love ❤️
When you said you felt like a shell of a person and were crying every night, I broke down. You described exactly how I’ve been feeling these past 5 months. I would have never guessed 3 years ago I’d feel as lost and isolated as I feel now. I’m really hoping individual therapy and marriage counseling can pull me out of this. Thanks for your transparency and great content
Like Beyoncé said, "I can have another you in a minute" lol, you'll find someone who loves you for who you are!! You've got a good head on your shoulders.
I don't think that was the issue. Long term relationships are complicated as all hell. Simon certainly appreciated her and she appreciated him but there were several factors that just didn't add up to happiness.
@@whosaidthat84 Sounds like she's having a hard time moving on right now tho, all I'm sayin' is she'll move on one day and be even happier. I suppose my original comment was a bit insensitive, but like we're all replaceable lmao. Myself included.
@@PBandH it's all good. I know you didn't intend to say anything bad. I didn't think it was particularly insensitive. Just wanted to point to put out some stuff haha. That's all.
I am unhappy that you didn’t feel well in Germany, I wish you had been in a position to fall in love with my country ❤️ New York has so many guys, and with your personality, intelligence and looks you can be sooo picky, you are material for great stuff. You will find a great guy and still be equal to him! I wish you aaalll the best 🥰
It was a love/hate relationship with the country. Don't worry, I still love my dirndl and have been teaching my nieces and nephews how to say, "ich liebe dich". So I think I definitely liked some things about Munich (oh and the Alps, loved those 😍 a lot of beauty in Germany).
oh, YesReneu.. ur story reminded me of my own breakup, where I've been dating a girl for 3 years before finally, we both realized how different we are. these memories are sad but It's part of growing up, so I wouldn't trade it for anything.
You’re not alone that deep shattering pit of pain hits so hard, you’ll cry a lot and you won’t believe there’s better but THERE IS. You don’t need to worry about him now🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹💎💎💎💎💎
I follow you from the time you were in Harvard but never saw you like this , I really hope that you get the strength to move on in life and make a beautiful life
I relate to this so bad. I'm also an "immigrant" or expat if you will, not in Germany but in Scotland - the feeling of isolation is real. I've been here 5 years and a half and it's only now that I'm starting to feel like I have a life here. Me and boyfriend had serious problems too, our relationship was toxic, I was really depressed to the point where I would sleep until 3pm waiting for the day to be over, basically refusing to live my days. Same thing, super high highs, very low lows, I'm also an INTJ (you mentioned this in a different video). We managed to get through some things, I changed, kinda got over my depression (not sure that's something one ever gets over but you know what I mean) and he changed luckily cause there were things that I got over back in that toxic phase that I wouldn't now. Time will tell. Thanks for making this video, hope it gives you closure. Love you.
Was in a similar relationship for 8 years.I had to break it up.I was depressed and very unmotivated and thought id never find someone again and be happy..Well 2 years later I have not found miss right but I have found myself in this process.You are not alone be strong and let time do its thing.You are very beautiful in all fields and you will get what you deserve just like everyone..Wish the best to all
Deepest feels, Reneau. So sorry you have joined the ranks of heartbreak that a lot of us have experienced but glad you are on the mend. I wish you the very best and look forward to your new videos. Stay safe and be happy. Love to you.
Yes! Exactly! The highest of the highs and then the lowest too.. I felt that! I was so miserable during the lows that one day I decided the highs didn't matter anymore.. I took the decision to break it off.. but everyday since then I ve had to battle the thoughts like "will I ever find a connection like that with anyone else", "what if he was the one and m giving up too soon" , "he said he had changed for the third time maybe he did.. I didn't give him a chance.. what if I had, maybe we could have been it?" .. but then the only thing that keeps me strong is having the right set of friends to call family.. but living in Madison and being an Indian hasn't helped much.. so I resonated when you said culturally isolated.. it's hard to make a strong friend circle when noone wants to even talk to you..
Love you Taylor! I totally get what you mean by having conflicting feelings. I believe you can love and care about someone but at the same time, you don't have to be in a relationship with that person. Sometimes people just evolve in directions and we don't even realize it. Glad to see you getting better.
this is prolly the most vulnerable and relatable video I have ever seen. you articulated so many of my own unorganized thoughts, i know that was not ur purpose, but just know you deserve the universe taylor. i truly appreciate this so much.
7:35 I love you 😂😂😂😂 aaand nobody is stalling anything 9:45 because it’s a hell of progress itself what you’ve been and still going through right now. Can’t you see? And your courage in this vid is really admirable.
This feels like the most important thing I’ve found while trying to move on with my first breakup. Your story has comforted me more than anybody else could in this period of my life. I’ve realized a lot of things over the past two months since the breakup and this video is like everything coming to fruition for me. It makes me EXTREMELY happy knowing there are other people who have experienced something so similar to my own. I can’t thank you enough for making this.
This resonated with me a lot, sending you so much love💗 one day everything will make sense, and you will forever be an even better version of yourself as a result of this. Really excited for what’s in store for you!! Rooting for you!!🙌🏼🥳
You love people without meeting the people in real life. You know some people on the internet use personas and in real life are not actually anything like the person you love. You do not know how many women have asked stone cold to beat up their boy friends.
I think the base level emotional fire that can spark a relationship, and maybe even fuel it for a year or two, never really lasts. For a relationship to last, something different has to be there to sustain it when raw emotion no longer can. Both things need to be there, and there's no way to know based on the first whether you'll find the second. I guess it's just a matter of chance, so best of luck on your next try.
I promise you. And I dont even know you. I just stumbled on this just now btw..."Toxicity" is apart of love. You have to deal with the bad and good. You need to find someone who meets you half way. Relationships are all give and take. I dont look nearly as good as I did when we first got together in any relationship.... but that's age and wisdom..feeling comforted (To me anyway) And that goes for both ends. You'll find someone who will love you for your flaws , your suffering, and there is no reason to stay with someone who makes you just miserable. Period. Much love. Stay proud. Love thyself. The right one will come because first you must love yourself. Find yourself. Best cliche advice I ever got and here I am. 7 years into a relationship, married, with 2 beautiful girls. After the worst break up after twice before it. ♡
Taylor I admire you so much. You're so smart and I love to see that human side of you. Bad relationships, we all have been through one and the way you're now, showing us the dating advise and videos is just brilliant. Keep creating those. I really learn from you. Really amazing things will come your way, professionally and in the love space. You deserve it! Much love to you!!!
Thanks for sharing this girl, I understand how much courage it takes to talk so openly about a topic that’s so close to your heart. I’ve had a very similar experience and it’s admirable how mature you are about it. And please do not apologize for taking months to get over it and recover, it takes time to get over someone you have been so investing in and for whom you’ve developed deep feelings
I may be late on this with this comment but here we go... So I didn't even know you were dating, I came back on this channel for some reminders on how to get straight A's just yesterday and then today I got the suggestion to watch this video. I needed context before understanding where you were coming from so I went to look for your "bf tag" video just so that I could put a face and/or personality to who you're speaking about. I watched his body language toward you throughout it all, the way he looked at you, the fact that he did not touch you or hold on to you, not a kiss on the cheek or the lip (not once) and the fact that he did not even give a compliment whether casually or otherwise. I am not sure what he is like with you on a personal level but I can tell that your energy does not match his AT ALL. I am not being judgmental but I have to say that you deserve someone who would give the above-mentioned. You will indeed find that someone and they will open your eyes even wider as to what love is and how it should really feel. I pray for your healing from your trauma. You will heal and you will be better. Life is all about lessons. Take each and every one of those with a smile, hon! I know it is hard now because of all the emotions you are feeling from your attachment to this dude but rest-assured that it WILL pass. All the best on your continued journey. - A supportive follower
Thank you for this video. I am going through the same situation right now and I can just resonate with you so much. I actually used to describe the relationship just as that, the highest of my highs and then the lowest of my lows... and it took me over 4 years to finally let go. He was not my first bf though, he was the 4th one, and because of that I truly thought we would stay together, but life just had so many more lessons for me. It really helps with my healing process to remember that there is someone out there living something so similar. Just thank you and I wish you the best.
I needed to hear the last bits of this video YesReneau. I can feel a mirror situation more than you’d know with your situation especially the long distance and not recognizing the problems soon enough... and the 5 year best friends and 2 year relationship bit too. Crazy how the world is but I hope we both set high standards for our others so they can have better decisions in the future. Same goes to us too. Much love, be safe too 🧡
"I've been waiting for months, waiting for years, waiting for you to change. Aw, but there ain't much that's dumber, there ain't much that's dumber Than pinning your hopes on a change in another. " OK Go - Needing/Getting
you are an intelligent and very lovable person！and you have definitely made the most reasonable decision。pray you will understand who you are，what you are looking for，and find what you deserves in the future taylor！
Well, this hits home haha. I ended a 3-year mostly long-distance relationship in January, and just when I needed to be surrounding myself with other people and engaging in other parts of my life, quarantine hit. It’s basically suspended me in the initial stage of heartbreak and it feels like there’s no way to move forward, the way things are. Hope your healing is going smoothly, or at least as smoothly as it can :)
This hurt my heart, I look forward to you being totally happy and in love again. it may take a while, but Incredible people like yourself are rare, and it will take someone just as unique and amazing for you to be happy, challenged and supported. You did the right thing though, listen to yourself, and never make excuses for the behaviour you don't like. You will find love again.
its really weird how relatable this is. but i guess it really isnt that weird. its just much less talked about, despite being extremely common. i think its more weird, ironically, that this isnt normalised enough....to the point where you need to apologize for crying or being embarrassed for being vulnerable. i had a heartbreak from my first girlfriend of 7.5years. the pain i felt was nothing i ever expected nor would i wish on anyone. it was physically painful weirdly enough as well. chest hurt a lot. but its been around 10 months since...im feeling a bit better. though im not sure if ill ever forget her. and like you i do still wonder if ill ever experience those highs again. its a pity we have to learn the hard way but i guess thats part of life. part of the pain was maybe, like u, my life was pretty perfect up till the breakup. so it was, and i assume as it was for u, the first traumatic experience of ur life. which made it even more difficult. im just glad im not alone in these emotions and feelings (i also spent alot of time on reddit which also reaffirmed this sentiment, and which definitely helped).
Thank you! First love is always hard painful and remeberable. I appreciate u being so open and respecting ur ex as well. You explained it well and I'm proud of u. I hope you the best and Goodluck girl!
I broke things up with my ex because she was becoming a shell of her former self. She stopped being who she was and not having her hobbies etc. She was on road to becoming a doctor at the time. It was hard and she hates me now for breaking up with her but it had to be done. She is a doctor now, and I don't know if she would have been if I had stayed with her. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can take its place. P.S NY Mindset -keep pushing.
I got so emotional by your video but you know it's gonna be okay 😔❤. I used to be the same . Going in a relationship I realized i wasn't perfect. You'll be fine. Keep fighting ❤❤
You are such a brilliant and insightful person young lady. This very real experience in love will make you stronger and perhaps more prepared for the most authentic loving relationship
Thank you for sharing your story. One day you will find that happiness again. I’m currently going through a break up myself so I understand how hard it is. Much love, Elle
That's the one thing that's very hard to learn "love" one must experience it, live it, hold it, lose it, and let go of it. We can just learn from our experiences and try not to make the same mistakes but its very important to learn from it if not it's like it didnt exist in the first place.
I wish if you could address those problems from the beginning rather than crying for years or at least get professional help,seems like you have been in a lot of stress and depression.but anyway I'm more thrilled that you have made up your thoughts and ready to move on. I always love you , and channel. God bless you.stay strong, you are amazing.
I'm sorry it happened. I empathize with you. I hope you heal and become more of you. 💛 Practice mindfulness meditation (I do use Waking Up). Will help you tons to increase your emotional well being, emotional stability and process this all. Waiting for even better you. Happy living.
I had forgot about your channel cause i had unsubscribed some time ago but it makes me so happy to see you are uploading again. This probably is not the video to comment this but since it is the latest one I wanted you to know that your entire personality makes me happy and inspires me to become a lively person and laugh at my own jokes .
when it is time to move on, you will be there waiting. when it is time to move forward,,, the person there will only be listening to see you are simply being yourself... leaving fking excites me...
Sometimes its just better to be alone. I am sorry @YesReneau for the relationship issue, and I do hope you do feel better, but just remember as we struggle with issues, time doesn’t stop.
Thank you for sharing! It's great that you found out what traits you look for in another person. I've gone through dating recently and I definitely found some of them for myself.
I can relate, but if you are not happy and crying it was not working, I broke up a 4 year relationship and I think after a year of breaking up, I feel amazing and I know that was the best decision for my life and my mental health. I miss some memories, and I ask myself too Can I find someone else who loves me as he did? But you know I think the biggest question now is , can I love myself to be able to set limits and boundaries next time.
I’ve seen several videos of yours over the years (I think it began with stuff about the ACT?), and you’ve always been an inspiration to me. Here I am applying to medical school, and I still look up to you for a number of reasons. It’s clear to me that you’re a very strong person. I’ve yet to be in a relationship myself, so I can’t speak for the breakup aspect, but I certainly know what the search is like; it’s tiring and often fruitless, but when you find the person who makes you smile at your insecurities and who helps make your dark days a little brighter, you’ll know that all of the time and heartache over the years was worth it. I know you didn’t want sympathy, and I didn’t mean for this to be taken as such, but know you are not, and never will be, alone.
I have this habit where I see people for who I want them to be, not for who they are. And it hurts when you love someone and you keep making excuses for them. Love alone can’t make a relationship work. I had to learn to respect my wishes and ambitions. I had to break up with myself in order to become stronger. Justin if you’re reading this, know that I will always love you.
Thank you guys so so so much for all the love in your comments. I can't even express how much it means to me❤️
YesReneau We love you!!!
Sending much love!
Thanks for opening your heart!
Hope u get better
Sending you love 💙🙆🏻♀️
I'm 39, and I've only ever been in one relationship that lasted 21 years. She met somebody else, which was the cause of the relationship ending. This happened back in November. As much as I wanted to save the relationship, I just couldn't deal with the betrayal.
I too tried to cope by meeting other people, but that was derailed by this pandemic. Break-ups are never easy. But they really do teach us a lot about ourselves, what we're capable of enduring, and how strong we really are.
❣
hope you're doing okay💙
They really do teach us a lot! I learned a lot from my first breakup, and I can say I’m a way different person now. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. ❤️ I wish nothing but the best for you!
I feel you bro , although mine lasted for 2 years but still end is the same. Take care
stay strong brother we all make it out alive at some point
I started cutting off people that I felt toxic. Now I feel like I have no one around me and started to doubt whether I can maintain relationships. Feeling lonely makes me wonder whether it's just better to have toxic relationships than none.
I hope you find your people ❤️️
if you deem literally everyone around you 'toxic', you might have the problem
Hey, just wanted to tell you that this comment resonated with me. When toxic behaviors are incredibly normalized, it's hard to figure out what to do (especially when for you, you can so clearly see how problematic they are). I often feel lonely for the exact same reason you mentioned. Maybe I'll make a video about it one day.
My solution? Wait for quarantine to end, pick one city to live in, build up an incredible friendship network over years. I don't think there's a quick fix to this problem, unless you just luckily stumble into a few great people right away.
I’ll be your friend 🥺
I came here from YesReneau’s Harvard videos.
I’ve met many girls in your situation. TLDR get a dog whilst doing all your introspective work if you’re living in a new country, and focus your energy on your career.
You’re not there to fix eachother’s issues and even worse as a bandaid for your own. Two independent people together with a shared future instead of co-dependency
no matter what's going on in your life, or the direction of your videos, i will keep clicking the thumbs up.
6 months of healing isn't a long time for an almost 3 year relationship. don't rush and don't feel obligated to move on quickly. process your break up and i promise one day you'll wake up not crying or not thinking about "what could i do to save our relationship?". you're a strong independant woman and believe me, better days are coming up.
She said they hind of broke up a year ago and had problems for a year before. So they had problems for the past 2years and half of their relationship So I don’t think it’s necessary too fast
@@katherine258 oh i think i missed or didn't understand that part. my mother language isn't english. thank you but there isn't a time chart for heartache after a break up so it might still be so hard and painful for her ❤
@@katherine258 it can take years to get over a relationship. It just depends on the type of person you are, what kind kind of person your ex was, how traumatic your breakup was, your support system is and how your life is now.
Taylor WE LOVE YOU!!
4:30 Not recognising yourself, crying every few days and feeling disconnected from your true self is far too relatable. Somehow it is comforting to know I'm not the only one experiencing this right now
Thats a nice bed
ur prof pic makes this comment even better
@@zainabrehman7880 IKR 😂
That they had sex on
@@Beautiful_Planet_Earth_ lol bye
It doesn't even look real. Like a green screen.
This video summarizes perfectly my ex and I's relationship and breakup. I had never felt more identified with someone and/or with a UA-cam video damn. Stay strong! Love you!
Same here! It was very reassuring to hear my story told by someone else. The best lessons are the most painful. In retrospection I look at it as the best thing that could have happened and imagining my life had the relationship not ended... scary! I lost myself for almost 5 years and it's taken almost 3 to fully recover but now, being on the other side, I have never been happier and emotionally independent. Can't wait to see what is coming next for Taylor :)
on the bright side you are one heartbreak closer to the love of your life now. that probably doesn't make sense but it was really brave of you to share this. i could see how you were struggling to be so vulnerable, but you did a fantastic job! proud of you taylor💙
So beautifully said. Thank you for being so compassionate.
Going through something very similar, my ex and I broke up last December and it’s been very hard for me since he was my first love and it was hard for me to realize how toxic our relationship had become. I found it hard to leave because i believed I could fix whatever was broken. Covid has definitely made it harder but it’s been nice to have time to reflect and realize the flaws in our relationship. It gets better! I’ve stopped randomly crying as less than I used to and even though I do occidental miss him, I know it’s for the best that we aren’t together. Self love, it’s amazing.
"...look in the mirror and say that's not me. That's not me.
.
.
.
Surprise... it is"
That hit hard
Thanks for sharing your healing with us. "Death by a thousand cuts" is so true when you emotionally don't feel present in the relationship. I won't speculate narcissism, but I am glad for people sharing their resources because I was in that kind of relationship. Sometimes a guy can fit every interest you like but the lack of maturity in a relationship can really hurt. I think it was very mature of you to find a way out of that situation because it can be very hard. I look forward to your next adventures! sending lots of love! You got this!
Thank you for sharing this Taylor. When you were talking about feeling isolated in a different country, I felt something a bit similar. I recently graduated and was looking for a job for months, failing and comparing myself to my friends. I felt really alone too and unfortunately met someone who didn’t see me as a long term partner, just a tool. It was my first relationship too. You’re really brave for recognizing that something was wrong and you had to change. I needed other ppl in my life to step in. I definitely learned from the experience on what to expect and how to treat myself better so I can reach my full potential. I pray for you and just know I’m healing with you!
International relationships can definitely be difficult, I dated a Dutch guy and I grew kind of dependent on him due to being in a completely different culture/country outside of the one I grew up in. Culture shock and adaptation is a long and arduous process, some people just aren’t as adaptive as others. I’m glad you made the decision to go out on your own again, prioritizing mental health is key. Best of luck and I know you’ll find someone else one day!!!
YesReneau, I'm glad you shared this, you are not alone. I was in a very similar situation with someone whom I loved very much we were even living together during the pandemic. I lost my job, lost the space we were living, and more importantly the person I thought I could always count on. I hate to say it but sometimes love isn't enough when you see that your partner isn't choosing you when it comes to the very important things. I'm 2 months in healing and can't wait to get to my 6 month mark!! Wishing you all the best during this new chapter, thanks again for sharing this, it just reminds me we are not alone in this. I especially feel the same way about ever finding someone again as well.
Live your best life, moving forward.
Make a list of character qualities you’d like your future partner to have, and never settle for less than your dreams, sis!
You’re worth more than just “settling for less.” Half way happiness is still misery. Do things that will make everyday meaningful, exciting, and memorable for you! The right man (for you) will come along, and so will the right friendships.💕🙏🏾
Ps. Painting challenge: paint your feelings on a big mural, and see the beauty in expressing that on canvas. Would be neat to see your art😍
I feel you. I'm two weeks into a difficult breakup after a long term relationship - almost two years. I really understand what you said about not recognising yourself and crying so often, I was there too for a few months. I know it's painful, but just know you're not alone ❤️
Honestly, I really relate to this because the few years after college was the worst years of my life. Like you said, I felt incredibly depressed and lost and had no idea who I was anymore more. I don’t think I could of even handle a relationship in that time. I’m a little older than you and just now getting my mojo back. Lol -life is definitely tough and has it’s rough patches.
Also experiencing a break up with a very similar timeline. It’s still rough. Some days I wake with a smile on my face excited to see the sunrise, others I can’t muster a single positive thought.
Hang in there cookie. I still have every hope that things are going to be okay too.
So happy to hear you chose yourself.
You’re smile had the same warmth as it usually does but there was an undertone of sadness which made me sad x
This helps me cope with my breakup too.. good luck to both of us and to everyone going through a breakup
Going out with a person who works for the food company Schwan's can make you happy.
"We both wanted our love to be enough so we didn't address the bad parts." I feel like that was me in my last relationship.
I can not thank you enough for sharing this. I can relate in many ways in regards to someone in my life right now. Bless you. Especially during quarantine, this is going to have to be how we make connections and get human interaction. Thank you again, you are so strong!
Thank you for sharing. You are really interesting person, and it is interesting to hear how you process life & also hard things. all the best
Corona breakups suck! Sending positive vibes
Girl, take all the time you need to heal, 6 months is nothing. We’ve all had heartbreaks and we need a long ass time to heal completely, don’t worry about us.
I wanted to say, I’m incredibly proud of you for leaving that relationship. Not because he was a bad person or because it was a bad relationship, but because you can’t rely fully (or almost fully) on one person for happiness.
It’s not healthy in any way. Been there, done that. Being in a different culture, language, etc with barely any family or friends, can be very depressing - and being happy in our environment is crucial for our mental health. When you said that being in love isn’t enough, I felt that... and I’m glad you took that step to come back home. I promise it’ll get better.... ❤️
When I saw the tears fall ,
That broke my heart.
" you can't bet your happiness on the hope that someone else will change "
wow, did you go through my break up or?
so beautifully articulated and relatable. thank you for sharing, it's not easy. this literally brought me back to my own break up back in 2018 hehe... time heals.
sending you love ❤️
When you said you felt like a shell of a person and were crying every night, I broke down. You described exactly how I’ve been feeling these past 5 months. I would have never guessed 3 years ago I’d feel as lost and isolated as I feel now. I’m really hoping individual therapy and marriage counseling can pull me out of this. Thanks for your transparency and great content
Like Beyoncé said, "I can have another you in a minute" lol, you'll find someone who loves you for who you are!! You've got a good head on your shoulders.
I don't think that was the issue. Long term relationships are complicated as all hell. Simon certainly appreciated her and she appreciated him but there were several factors that just didn't add up to happiness.
@@whosaidthat84 Sounds like she's having a hard time moving on right now tho, all I'm sayin' is she'll move on one day and be even happier. I suppose my original comment was a bit insensitive, but like we're all replaceable lmao. Myself included.
@@PBandH it's all good. I know you didn't intend to say anything bad. I didn't think it was particularly insensitive. Just wanted to point to put out some stuff haha. That's all.
@@whosaidthat84 yeah I also don't think this is fitting here since they had something special that you won't "find in a minute"
I am unhappy that you didn’t feel well in Germany, I wish you had been in a position to fall in love with my country ❤️ New York has so many guys, and with your personality, intelligence and looks you can be sooo picky, you are material for great stuff. You will find a great guy and still be equal to him! I wish you aaalll the best 🥰
It was a love/hate relationship with the country. Don't worry, I still love my dirndl and have been teaching my nieces and nephews how to say, "ich liebe dich". So I think I definitely liked some things about Munich (oh and the Alps, loved those 😍 a lot of beauty in Germany).
YesReneau Liebe aus Hamburg 🥰🥰
First love is great but the last one is perfect! You're gonna find your man soon!
oh, YesReneu.. ur story reminded me of my own breakup, where I've been dating a girl for 3 years before finally, we both realized how different we are. these memories are sad but It's part of growing up, so I wouldn't trade it for anything.
You’re not alone that deep shattering pit of pain hits so hard, you’ll cry a lot and you won’t believe there’s better but THERE IS. You don’t need to worry about him now🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹💎💎💎💎💎
This hit me in the core! You have no idea.
I follow you from the time you were in Harvard but never saw you like this , I really hope that you get the strength to move on in life and make a beautiful life
I relate to this so bad. I'm also an "immigrant" or expat if you will, not in Germany but in Scotland - the feeling of isolation is real. I've been here 5 years and a half and it's only now that I'm starting to feel like I have a life here. Me and boyfriend had serious problems too, our relationship was toxic, I was really depressed to the point where I would sleep until 3pm waiting for the day to be over, basically refusing to live my days. Same thing, super high highs, very low lows, I'm also an INTJ (you mentioned this in a different video). We managed to get through some things, I changed, kinda got over my depression (not sure that's something one ever gets over but you know what I mean) and he changed luckily cause there were things that I got over back in that toxic phase that I wouldn't now. Time will tell. Thanks for making this video, hope it gives you closure. Love you.
Do you remember which video this was ? I always thought she was an ENFx.
Was in a similar relationship for 8 years.I had to break it up.I was depressed and very unmotivated and thought id never find someone again and be happy..Well 2 years later I have not found miss right but I have found myself in this process.You are not alone be strong and let time do its thing.You are very beautiful in all fields and you will get what you deserve just like everyone..Wish the best to all
Deepest feels, Reneau. So sorry you have joined the ranks of heartbreak that a lot of us have experienced but glad you are on the mend. I wish you the very best and look forward to your new videos. Stay safe and be happy. Love to you.
I felt this so much! Thanks for being so open and honest with us 💛 Also - loving that CS50 shirt 😅
Yes! Exactly! The highest of the highs and then the lowest too.. I felt that! I was so miserable during the lows that one day I decided the highs didn't matter anymore.. I took the decision to break it off.. but everyday since then I ve had to battle the thoughts like "will I ever find a connection like that with anyone else", "what if he was the one and m giving up too soon" , "he said he had changed for the third time maybe he did.. I didn't give him a chance.. what if I had, maybe we could have been it?" .. but then the only thing that keeps me strong is having the right set of friends to call family.. but living in Madison and being an Indian hasn't helped much.. so I resonated when you said culturally isolated.. it's hard to make a strong friend circle when noone wants to even talk to you..
Love you Taylor! I totally get what you mean by having conflicting feelings. I believe you can love and care about someone but at the same time, you don't have to be in a relationship with that person. Sometimes people just evolve in directions and we don't even realize it. Glad to see you getting better.
this is prolly the most vulnerable and relatable video I have ever seen. you articulated so many of my own unorganized thoughts, i know that was not ur purpose, but just know you deserve the universe taylor. i truly appreciate this so much.
7:35 I love you 😂😂😂😂 aaand nobody is stalling anything 9:45 because it’s a hell of progress itself what you’ve been and still going through right now. Can’t you see? And your courage in this vid is really admirable.
You're beautiful, intelligent, kind, funny, and hardworking! Everything will work out for you!
You have given me so much inspiration throughout the years, you are the strongest soul, and we are here for you!
Thank you for posting! I'm currently going through a very similar situation, and it feels good to hear that someone thinks like me.
We are all dealing with stuff and the pandemic doesn't make it any easier. Thank you for being so open, sending you love.
This feels like the most important thing I’ve found while trying to move on with my first breakup. Your story has comforted me more than anybody else could in this period of my life. I’ve realized a lot of things over the past two months since the breakup and this video is like everything coming to fruition for me. It makes me EXTREMELY happy knowing there are other people who have experienced something so similar to my own. I can’t thank you enough for making this.
Best part is that you learned so much about yourself and I'm sure he did as well. Move on and forgive, but never forget.
This resonated with me a lot, sending you so much love💗 one day everything will make sense, and you will forever be an even better version of yourself as a result of this. Really excited for what’s in store for you!! Rooting for you!!🙌🏼🥳
It breaks my heart to see you try to keep on smiling even when the tears are falling 🥺 we love you and we’re always here for you ❤️
you are only suppose say love you to family member or close people.
You love people without meeting the people in real life. You know some people on the internet use personas and in real life are not actually anything like the person you love. You do not know how many women have asked stone cold to beat up their boy friends.
I think the base level emotional fire that can spark a relationship, and maybe even fuel it for a year or two, never really lasts. For a relationship to last, something different has to be there to sustain it when raw emotion no longer can.
Both things need to be there, and there's no way to know based on the first whether you'll find the second. I guess it's just a matter of chance, so best of luck on your next try.
I promise you. And I dont even know you. I just stumbled on this just now btw..."Toxicity" is apart of love. You have to deal with the bad and good. You need to find someone who meets you half way. Relationships are all give and take. I dont look nearly as good as I did when we first got together in any relationship.... but that's age and wisdom..feeling comforted (To me anyway) And that goes for both ends. You'll find someone who will love you for your flaws , your suffering, and there is no reason to stay with someone who makes you just miserable. Period. Much love. Stay proud. Love thyself. The right one will come because first you must love yourself. Find yourself. Best cliche advice I ever got and here I am. 7 years into a relationship, married, with 2 beautiful girls. After the worst break up after twice before it. ♡
Thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable with us.
It's sometimes hard to understand that two people aren't meant to stay together.
Taylor I admire you so much. You're so smart and I love to see that human side of you. Bad relationships, we all have been through one and the way you're now, showing us the dating advise and videos is just brilliant. Keep creating those. I really learn from you. Really amazing things will come your way, professionally and in the love space. You deserve it! Much love to you!!!
Thanks for sharing this girl, I understand how much courage it takes to talk so openly about a topic that’s so close to your heart. I’ve had a very similar experience and it’s admirable how mature you are about it. And please do not apologize for taking months to get over it and recover, it takes time to get over someone you have been so investing in and for whom you’ve developed deep feelings
Thank you for being so honest
I may be late on this with this comment but here we go... So I didn't even know you were dating, I came back on this channel for some reminders on how to get straight A's just yesterday and then today I got the suggestion to watch this video. I needed context before understanding where you were coming from so I went to look for your "bf tag" video just so that I could put a face and/or personality to who you're speaking about. I watched his body language toward you throughout it all, the way he looked at you, the fact that he did not touch you or hold on to you, not a kiss on the cheek or the lip (not once) and the fact that he did not even give a compliment whether casually or otherwise. I am not sure what he is like with you on a personal level but I can tell that your energy does not match his AT ALL. I am not being judgmental but I have to say that you deserve someone who would give the above-mentioned. You will indeed find that someone and they will open your eyes even wider as to what love is and how it should really feel. I pray for your healing from your trauma. You will heal and you will be better. Life is all about lessons. Take each and every one of those with a smile, hon! I know it is hard now because of all the emotions you are feeling from your attachment to this dude but rest-assured that it WILL pass. All the best on your continued journey. - A supportive follower
Thank you for this video. I am going through the same situation right now and I can just resonate with you so much. I actually used to describe the relationship just as that, the highest of my highs and then the lowest of my lows... and it took me over 4 years to finally let go. He was not my first bf though, he was the 4th one, and because of that I truly thought we would stay together, but life just had so many more lessons for me. It really helps with my healing process to remember that there is someone out there living something so similar. Just thank you and I wish you the best.
I needed to hear the last bits of this video YesReneau. I can feel a mirror situation more than you’d know with your situation especially the long distance and not recognizing the problems soon enough... and the 5 year best friends and 2 year relationship bit too. Crazy how the world is but I hope we both set high standards for our others so they can have better decisions in the future. Same goes to us too. Much love, be safe too 🧡
"I've been waiting for months, waiting for years, waiting for you to change.
Aw, but there ain't much that's dumber, there ain't much that's dumber
Than pinning your hopes on a change in another.
"
OK Go - Needing/Getting
you are an intelligent and very lovable person！and you have definitely made the most reasonable decision。pray you will understand who you are，what you are looking for，and find what you deserves in the future taylor！
You are speaking to my soul. I love you, Yesreneau! I will always love you ❤
Well, this hits home haha. I ended a 3-year mostly long-distance relationship in January, and just when I needed to be surrounding myself with other people and engaging in other parts of my life, quarantine hit. It’s basically suspended me in the initial stage of heartbreak and it feels like there’s no way to move forward, the way things are.
Hope your healing is going smoothly, or at least as smoothly as it can :)
This hurt my heart, I look forward to you being totally happy and in love again. it may take a while, but Incredible people like yourself are rare, and it will take someone just as unique and amazing for you to be happy, challenged and supported. You did the right thing though, listen to yourself, and never make excuses for the behaviour you don't like. You will find love again.
You are a wonderful person and I wish you the best with all of this! I am sorry that happened to you.
its really weird how relatable this is. but i guess it really isnt that weird. its just much less talked about, despite being extremely common.
i think its more weird, ironically, that this isnt normalised enough....to the point where you need to apologize for crying or being embarrassed for being vulnerable. i had a heartbreak from my first girlfriend of 7.5years. the pain i felt was nothing i ever expected nor would i wish on anyone. it was physically painful weirdly enough as well. chest hurt a lot. but its been around 10 months since...im feeling a bit better. though im not sure if ill ever forget her. and like you i do still wonder if ill ever experience those highs again. its a pity we have to learn the hard way but i guess thats part of life.
part of the pain was maybe, like u, my life was pretty perfect up till the breakup. so it was, and i assume as it was for u, the first traumatic experience of ur life. which made it even more difficult. im just glad im not alone in these emotions and feelings (i also spent alot of time on reddit which also reaffirmed this sentiment, and which definitely helped).
You dropped this queen 👑; keep your head up, we’re here for you
You are a strong girl Reneau. Could feel the emotions through the screen. Sending a lot of love your way.
Thank you! First love is always hard painful and remeberable. I appreciate u being so open and respecting ur ex as well. You explained it well and I'm proud of u. I hope you the best and Goodluck girl!
You are the therapist today too❤ Hearing you talking about your experience heals me. Thanks for the sincere content videos I always watch them
I broke things up with my ex because she was becoming a shell of her former self. She stopped being who she was and not having her hobbies etc. She was on road to becoming a doctor at the time. It was hard and she hates me now for breaking up with her but it had to be done. She is a doctor now, and I don't know if she would have been if I had stayed with her.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can take its place.
P.S NY Mindset -keep pushing.
I got so emotional by your video but you know it's gonna be okay 😔❤. I used to be the same . Going in a relationship I realized i wasn't perfect. You'll be fine. Keep fighting ❤❤
May God give you the peace of mind and unlimited happiness in both worlds.
You are such a brilliant and insightful person young lady. This very real experience in love will make you stronger and perhaps more prepared for the most authentic loving relationship
Thank you for sharing your story. One day you will find that happiness again. I’m currently going through a break up myself so I understand how hard it is.
Much love,
Elle
That's the one thing that's very hard to learn "love" one must experience it, live it, hold it, lose it, and let go of it. We can just learn from our experiences and try not to make the same mistakes but its very important to learn from it if not it's like it didnt exist in the first place.
I wish if you could address those problems from the beginning rather than crying for years or at least get professional help,seems like you have been in a lot of stress and depression.but anyway I'm more thrilled that you have made up your thoughts and ready to move on. I always love you , and channel. God bless you.stay strong, you are amazing.
I'm sorry it happened. I empathize with you. I hope you heal and become more of you. 💛
Practice mindfulness meditation (I do use Waking Up). Will help you tons to increase your emotional well being, emotional stability and process this all.
Waiting for even better you. Happy living.
Continue to be strong especially through quarantine, Reneau. Recalibrate yourself and stay focused!
I knew it as soon as i seen you post a new video, i know the look i experienced it before, but god damn are you strong i admire that so much.
You inspire me to be a better version of myself that I know I am, thank you for that. Keep being authentically you :)
I had forgot about your channel cause i had unsubscribed some time ago but it makes me so happy to see you are uploading again. This probably is not the video to comment this but since it is the latest one I wanted you to know that your entire personality makes me happy and inspires me to become a lively person and laugh at my own jokes .
when it is time to move on, you will be there waiting. when it is time to move forward,,, the person there will only be listening to see you are simply being yourself... leaving fking excites me...
You deserve the best!! You are super strong and I pray for the best in your following journey! Feel hugged❣️
One thing to take away from this too is you helped other people also by sharing this!
Sometimes its just better to be alone. I am sorry @YesReneau for the relationship issue, and I do hope you do feel better, but just remember as we struggle with issues, time doesn’t stop.
Awww I’m sorry ..
I hope you’re doing better. Hang in there.
There is someone out there for you.
Thank you for sharing! It's great that you found out what traits you look for in another person. I've gone through dating recently and I definitely found some of them for myself.
We're here for you Taylor, always
I can relate, but if you are not happy and crying it was not working, I broke up a 4 year relationship and I think after a year of breaking up, I feel amazing and I know that was the best decision for my life and my mental health.
I miss some memories, and I ask myself too
Can I find someone else who loves me as he did?
But you know I think the biggest question now is , can I love myself to be able to set limits and boundaries next time.
I can't stand you crying Reneau, I tried to sit and watch you share this moment but I feel I am also going to cry too.
I’ve seen several videos of yours over the years (I think it began with stuff about the ACT?), and you’ve always been an inspiration to me. Here I am applying to medical school, and I still look up to you for a number of reasons.
It’s clear to me that you’re a very strong person. I’ve yet to be in a relationship myself, so I can’t speak for the breakup aspect, but I certainly know what the search is like; it’s tiring and often fruitless, but when you find the person who makes you smile at your insecurities and who helps make your dark days a little brighter, you’ll know that all of the time and heartache over the years was worth it. I know you didn’t want sympathy, and I didn’t mean for this to be taken as such, but know you are not, and never will be, alone.
This was incredibly raw. I appreciate your openness and am sorry for your heart.
I have this habit where I see people for who I want them to be, not for who they are. And it hurts when you love someone and you keep making excuses for them. Love alone can’t make a relationship work. I had to learn to respect my wishes and ambitions. I had to break up with myself in order to become stronger. Justin if you’re reading this, know that I will always love you.
Heartbreak is painful but it is also a good experience.
You are so brave talking about this! ❤️