Bro he can only say this stuff after he is at the top. Rich people say money don’t matter, attractive people say looks don’t matter. His parents gave him the ability to talk down good accomplishments, we wouldn’t even be listening to him if he didn’t follow follow his parents
@@OcaOca He said he hated it when he got there, many talk about sacrificing much for something that they don't actually want. We only have so much time and should probably use it in a way which aligns with what we need, want, value, etc...
The funny thing is even after telling this speech you still would’ve gone to Harvard and you still would’ve worked at Blackstone. Come on. The only lesson here is that you still would’ve done it.
Succes as a generalized view of the world its just a worthless scam, it requires to sacrifice a lot of yourself to follow a path everyone is following without question and in ignorance of themselves while the real succes as an individual is being ignored by you and rejected by the rest who keeps looking for the same "succes concept". Everything outside our responsabilities to others should be seeked for our own specific and individual needs and desires to really pursue our own succes, happines or realization. Follow blindly what is said to us its not succes at all.
So why are a live you taste the happiness from success, when you have a family you have to succeed on how to raise them correctly and how to provide to them a good life that's success .
But u cant deny that his life and his descendants life is pretty much off to a headstart thanks to his parents. Harvard on resume opens door no matter where in the world. So his parents really did understand the world.
@@cjyoung4080they understood a slice of it. Education for most of us will give us relative assurance that we’ll get a decent job. However connections and social skills seem as if not more important imo. Beauty helps too
@@cjyoung4080this. And understanding that makes you realize how ungrateful he truly is. Many kids don’t even have two parent households, let alone parents who sacrifice lots to help get you into Harvard (which sure as hell is a great boost)
If my dream is to have a healthy and happy life, and I want to impose that on my kids, should this be okay? My heart told me yes, but how is that different from wanting a rich and well-educated life for them? Would my kids rather want a short-lived and unhappy life if I only hope for a healthy and happy life for them? I’m not questioning, but I’m really worried that what I feel right is not gonna work fine for them.
@clbert7460 "who are we to judge" lol recipe for anarchy. Let a rapist rape because what is wrong to most people is right to him? And then who are we to judge? Well thought 👏🏼👏🏼
The harsh reality that few people will tell you is that, yes, you do need to make money, and quite frankly, a lot of it. But then you need to create meaning in your life, whether that is through raising a family, hobbies, volunteering, etc. Life without both is incredibly hard.
no, not quite frankly "a lot of it". people live comfortably on very little. That's beautiful. That's how it should be. the West suffers from greed. It's a big blind spot.
Tiger parents… As a South Korean, my parents acted like merciful tyrants in many times… Dear all sons and daughters of Tiger Parents, you survived. And I hope you to live a life full of happiness and love not oppression and low self esteem😢
I think immigrant parents come in wide range of spectrum. There’s many who clearly have unresolved trauma around diaspora and poverty / social isolation, and there’s some who thrive, and plenty in between. Although you have no choice in what hand you’ve been dealt with, you do have the responsibility to not pass on that trauma to the next generation
The funny thing is even after telling this speech you still would’ve gone to Harvard and you still would’ve worked at Blackstone. Come on. The only lesson here is that you still would’ve done it.
@@ShacklefordR Having been a potential Asian immigrant (I ended up not staying in the States), I can relate to this. It's anecdotal, but my compatriots who immigranted seems to place a bit more importance in making lots of money and wanting their kids to be doctors. It was nauseous.
My Korean parents never instilled any of that on me. They were so busy working, and I think they just trusted me in whatever I did. For a time I wasn't even going to college, they still supported me no matter what. I was a late bloomer. Got my bachelors at age 28 in Computer science, now I make 6 figures and I love that I can support my wife and kids. I will never tell my kids how to live their life. until they turn 18, I will try my absolute best to shape their character into an objectively decent human being. After that, if they become a technician, tattoo artist, mechanic, or whatever job Asian parents think of as "failures", so be it, as long as they are happy I am all in for them. The trust that my parents gave me allowed me to fully explore myself and yes, it took me much much longer than someone like this dude but I love what I do and I know exactly why I am doing it.
My whole family were late bloomers which saved me because I never had the feeling I blew it and I could turn my life around. It took me awhile to get my act together. My struggle is I’m an organizational idiot, but I excel in my work. I have post grad education which proves in my mind that there is a God.
There is a difference between giving your kids advice and expecting that they follow your advice. If you're not giving your kids advice then you're not being a parent.
Same with pakistani so called educated family.. i was pushed into getting mbbs degree and become a doctor.. i m a girl.. worked 1 year in a hospital and tought about suicide daily..mbbs was never my choice but family sucks the life out of you of u dont do as told .. finally i pooped on my degree.. called goodbye to career as a doctor .. now i m married and mother of 3 kids... i m happiest ever...alhmdullillah mashallah
Sometimes parents do this for three reasons…it’s an extension of their unfulfilled self dreams, fear of the assurance for older age living and reputation . Parents may mean well but it doesn’t always ends well.
It's same in the Philippines btw and most Asian countries too. Most Filipino parents saw their child as their retirement money and they stop working as soon as their children started to work and earn money. And the most sad thing is that they don't want their children to marry for obvious reasons. It is NOT my experience by the way but I always saw it around here.
Parents tell you these things not only for them but for you and your extended family and for generations to come. They tell you these things assuming that you haven't thought of a greater than life goal yet. So they tell what they think can be a goal for you to follow. Some of us may think that our parents are forcing us because we already have a goal in mind that we think are better. This is why we always have to discuss it with our parents. Don't just listen and keep your opinions quiet. But that's really why we are annoyed most of the time. A lot of us don't have a voice and don't know how to tell our parents about it in a way they understand. My advice to you is to not watch videos that makes you think parents are bad. Learn to talk to them comfortably and clearly, with a plan in mind so that they won't think you're crazy for not even thinking about going to Harvard.
@@lewomewo3480 I know, but sometimes they really are harmful or bad parents so not looking into the possibility is dangerous, still your advice is a good one, always talk to your parents and share and find out if you can come to a good end.
There is a lot of pressure being a child from immigrant parents. Personally, my mom never pushed me to be the best in school. I put that pressure on myself and it was very hard, still continues to be hard, to go easy on myself. I believed that getting into a good college, having a good job, and finally being financially stable would be the ultimate goal to provide for my mom who struggled so much for my siblings and I. My mom passed when I was 15 so that dream came crashing down when my motive for success disappeared. I’m thankful I can provide for myself to this day, but it’s not always easy to feel complete within yourself when you had all these un/intentional pressures instilled in you from a young age.
True that. I have way too much unnecessary pressure. I don’t even talk much to my parents but still feel their pressure to this day. I look at my friend’s family and it seems she and her siblings were raised with no pressure at all. All of her siblings are 25+, still living at home, for the most part unemployed. 😅. My friend was previously working at a grocery store even though she had two college degrees. She finally quit after 7 years there thinking maybe to try something else. She and her parents seem fine with everything. But when I was unemployed after graduating from college, my parents criticized me a lot and I became severely depressed. I struggled a lot since and always feel like a failure, even though I moved out, am able to financially provide for myself… I left my job recently because I realized it was a job to please my parents, not a job that actually fall in line with who I am and cause me even more stress. Anywho, our childhood and how were treated affects us a lot in adulthood. I only hope to be able to finally feel worthy one day
Sameeee as the child of Hispanic immigrants I felt that pressure but my parents never pushed me to be the best either like they didn’t know about APs and when I learned, I started taking some purely on my own volition. Yes, they want the best for me but it was always my own pressure. I didn’t need to choose a stem major but I did anyway. Im studying to become a scientist but ik my parents didn’t push me. Anyway, I think part of it is bc they were so successful in science as well. It made me feel like I had to compare to that unintentional standard that they set. We’ve talked about it recently and now ik that all they want is for me to be happy. My mom told me idc if u get all C’s I just want u to be happy.
Im Asian and my parents instilled MD MD MD ... I eventually went to one of 3 top pre-Med schools ...Then dropped out after the first year...I was miserable, tortured and hated hated being in the hospital with a passion... Now I run my own passion businesses and make more money than most surgeons anyways ... Oh and I'm still paying off my student loans
i wish parents and schools teach you to be the best of what you are but thats not a false hope its clearly a misdirection. only you can KNOW. THE ANSWER IS WITHIN YOU. LOVE YOURSRLF. DONT BE HARD ON YOURSELF. 😭
In the Asian culture, he is a good son. He made his parents’ dream came true and now he’s learning to pursue his. Even if his parents weren’t entirely right, they lead him in the right direction.
Eh don’t live your life pursuing somebody else’s dream. Children are not vessels for their parents’ dreams. Growing up my dad projected his dreams onto me and my siblings. It didn’t work. Everybody is different. Your kids are not for you to live vicariously through.
He is! And the only way he found out his parents were wrong was bc he did what they said lol. So people don’t be using this as an excuse to just not listen. My parents wanted me to go to college and get a corporate job and although I too have come to realize this isn’t what I want in life, it’s only because I did what they said and now I can still leverage that money I get from the job and degree to pursue my own dreams.
only a great son because he was able to achieve it. My wife pursued her parent's dream of being a violinist. She got her doctorate. She hates it, and is depressed because she has no other skill. It was not the right direction. She feels guilty about not being successful (in a super competitive music world) even after all the money her parents spent on tuition. When she tried to convince her parents that she didn't want to do music...well let's just say they didn't take it well. She is now doing what she wants to do - medicine. I am supporting her right now and she is slowly healing and gaining self confidence. Even then, her mom is so toxic and tries to blame her because she didn't turn out to be a musical prodigy genious. It's bullsh!t really.
@@tanaminogarashi lol the parent's dream was that he became successful. just their advice for him to be successful was a bit wrong, but overall they were right
@@BWTECH0521 his parents have good intentions but they weren’t “right” or “wrong” - he could only follow their wishes until he uncovered his own. so yes i agree that this was part of the process of him figuring it out. but imo a parents’ job is to nurture and guide their kids, not necessarily tell them what to do. i’m not saying they should coddle their kid, nor should they be too harsh. just let the kid steer and be the driver of his life and the parents can be cheerleaders or mentors if requested
that means they have low standards, expectations, and goals for your life. doesn't necessarily mean bad, But you're not fonna be furthering your life much
@@ExilixE my mum has no expectations of me, she always says as long as i am happy then all is good. if anything this motivates me even further to make HER proud because that’s the only thing that makes me happy. a parent having unrealistic expectations of their child and never being happy for them can damage the child to beyond repair
My dad grew up in complete poverty with 11 siblings and luckily he has always been the type of person who didn't care much about wealth at all. He taught me lots of wise life lessons and he is the type of person to value the afterlife more than some temporary money and status. Love my dad for never being superficial and always being there for me ♡
@@rifqimujahid4907 Life on earth is a Test. There is a purpose to living knowing it is a Test. One is working towards earning one's Akhirah/Afterlife. This life is temporary because death occurs. The Afterlife is eternal. "Dust thou art to dust returnest, was not said of the Soul." :)
I feel african kids (especially the ones living abroad) can relate 😅 too. My mom would tell you this "the only way to survive in america is school/education or the way to success to school" she wanted me to do somethin' in the health field mehnn i hated nothin' was clickin' for me i was depressed. Long story short, i didn't take any classes or go to school for two years (this was during early into the pandemic) then developed a pasion for tech/IT changed to computer science last year then this i changed to cybersecurity currently taken classes hopin' to finish in 2025 on the sidebeen studyin' for certifcations to put on resume and apply to a job. Mehhnn it been quite rollercoaster for me and more to come.
Good for you! College was a disaster for me after my first year but now I'm back with a new major after having taken a break working entry-level positions. Silly as it might seem, I found pride and happiness at Walmart and Amazon after having convinced myself earlier I was beyond worthless. School really messed me up but things are looking better now.
That’s great to hear! Personally, though my parents don’t put a ton of pressure on me it is obvious to tell they want me to fit into their image of a great son: straight, Christian, masculine and in-the-future STEM student. These standards don’t come from a malicious place, both of them hold a belief in hell where sinners and non believers go, so these expectations/desires are really them trying to keep me safe from a threat they think exists. Unfortunately for them I’m not really any of those things, though they don’t know that as it would definitely stress them out even more for reasons I mentioned above. It truly is a sticky situation but I believe it’ll turn out better someday. I’ll find a way to make it all better
The reason he has a multitude of choices now and CAN do what he wants to do is because his parents nurtured him and enabled him to get a good education. That’s what a lot of Asian kids don’t understand. Asian parents pick a high-achieving goal for you, but you’re also supposed to be growing your own mind and you can change it if you feel passionate about something else. The main lesson is to aim high and work hard towards a goal.
Very true. First you need money, then you have freedom to choose what you don’t like to do. Hate it then use your money and Harvard degree to change your path then!
Yeah! What is he trying to say? Like he has higher chances to pursue what he wants or make impacts with a high school degree or something. I don’t mean a college degree would necessary do better, just be thankful to your parents who raised you and stop bitching about this non sense.
I agree There is no guilt in ensuring your children life to be on the right path Harvard graduate has more chance of being hired than those outside of ivy league
yes, but not all asians kids are able to crack harvard. those kids lose themselves and really think that it's gonna be the end of the world. it leaves one with trauma and little self worth.
I’m not Asian but it seems like a lot of immigrant parents put a lot of emphasis on end-goals that they arbitrarily perceive as being a marker for success. While that aim high shoot high mentality might work great for some, I’d imagine for those who fail to reach those expectations, they end up feeling like a failure. And that lower self esteem and self efficacy can prevent them from pursuing what they’re capable of later on. And especially if conversations like these don’t happen, how will children understand that they aren’t bound to their parents goals? Because I agree building a strong foundation through academics and extracurriculars is a great way to instill a sense that the child is capable of achieving whatever they put their mind to.
Parents guide their children to the parents' dream. they see their children as an extension of themselves. Parents rarely see their children as separate individuals
@@henrydavis6983 yes, and no. Our brain is developed enough that we can think for ourselves even before the age of 12, our brain and body are an extension of our parents until we can understand and think from our brains...
He can easily say this because he has already achieved something during his young age. Never be conclusive unless it is the last day of your life. The best thing about good educations and wealth is that you can have choices.
I was pressured academically but not to any severe degree…I just made sure I got straight A’s…but my father always told me to go into engineering and that he knows other people who’s kids are making 100 grand to start..always being pushed in a direction that didn’t suit me didn’t get me anywhere…I ended up not following my parents dreams or my dreams because I was confused and have zero confidence…everyone wants their children to be have more than they do but money is not always the answer
What were your dreams? And did you feel like that confusion and lack of confidence came from you not having emotional support from your parents?? I asked the second part because I've felt the same to some degree.
@@fauxdauteur in this case I guess you just don’t have dream, when you become adult . I’m asian as well, my parents told me what I should achieve, and when I realized it wasn’t my dream it was kinda late. I don’t have passion or dream at all.
I have a similar story. I let my parents decide what was good for me, because I thought they knew better. But the more I followed their wishes, the more depressed and lost I became. I am an engineer now, a career my father choose, working in a company he also choose. I am grateful for what my parents did for me, but I can't continue to live the life of another person. I want to do what's right for me, not anything crazy, just something that gives me strength.
@儚いキリン I can totally resonate with you. I never thought I would find a person who feels the same way that I do I'm a law student, again it's my parents choice not mine because I didn't really know what to do or what I want to do in life. Still now I don't know what to do. I admire people who get to have a passion, something to atleast make you feel alive and excited and those who chase their passion and excel in it are like superheroes to me cuz it is really an amazing thing to do in your lifetime than to wake up everyday with nothing in this world you love to do.
@@snehar1235 Yea it was a tough time for me. But I learnt to accept it, there is nothing we can do with it. I'm also an asexual as well, no passion for work nor desires for human. Sometimes I still envy other people, but we have good sides as well. Living with no hunger actually makes me feel calm and independent. I don't need somebody or something to make me happy. It is painful, but eventually you will find your peace. Let's start with some small target. Even now I still don't know what my dream is, and yeah it's okay to live like this.
I wish growing up. I had this kind of advice from my parents. They didnt care if I got a degree or even saved up money. So I give credit to his family. At least they cared about your future.
Same, as in I didn't because the advice just wasn't good for me or this time. I've been called stubborn a lot 😅 But it's okay, I've come to accept they'll never understand. Or truly know me even, I don't think you can do either unless you have empathy, an open mind, critical thinking skills and depth to yourself and the way you live.
They actually set him up for success. They did more for him then he realized... He build solid foundation and wouldn't realize how 'world works' today without his parents guidance. It is precisely his parents that shaped him.
We all stand on the shoulder of those who came before in one Way or the other. Nomatter How you have learned people around and the incidents and relations you have. Is shaping you helping to Mold you and help you learn first its mostly your parents and family but later others contribute and you make choices that shapes what you learn of life and your personality. Its all interwoven noone is an island
who was PRAISING his parents. Get some help. ua-cam.com/video/a2w5VpflZpk/v-deo.html&lc=Ugzg2xdIYa6O42i7UoB4AaABAg ua-cam.com/video/a2w5VpflZpk/v-deo.html&lc=Ugx1ooxBx0VaSRg7PL54AaABAg ua-cam.com/video/a2w5VpflZpk/v-deo.html&lc=UgzUvdsXVyZ4ZOd-_et4AaABAg ua-cam.com/video/a2w5VpflZpk/v-deo.html&lc=Ugzxtc3giSPVA486P-B4AaABAg ua-cam.com/video/a2w5VpflZpk/v-deo.html&lc=UgydoJdGTlfwFWVROVd4AaABAg ua-cam.com/video/a2w5VpflZpk/v-deo.html&lc=UgyrkVOEGQ-As9J0VZ54AaABAg ua-cam.com/video/a2w5VpflZpk/v-deo.html&lc=UgzOlR_fjNiwhkRUeE14AaABAg ua-cam.com/video/a2w5VpflZpk/v-deo.html&lc=UgzOlR_fjNiwhkRUeE14AaABAg
Excuse me, but if you took a break from being an overtriggered snowflake you'll realise that this person never once critised his parents. He was PRAISING his parents. It's not just his parents who shaped him, everyone around him shaped him.
@@twitter.comelomhycy The "overtriggered snowflake" is you, the comment didn't even @ you, they were expanding the thought of the og comment, also has a over confident tone in it. XD (Btw i agree with you, but your reaction is hilarious, i think is overused the ❄️ thing I mean)
They just wanted you to be the best prepared for life they could think of. After they know that YOU know you can do it, you can go off and become a pizza maker. The important part is that you are fully aware and capable of many more options in life.
That was a big one for me to finally realize, how even though my parents want the best for me they actually dont know what is and isnt right and following their wishes and advice has never really served me while following my own instincts (even when it worries them) has had good outcomes for my personal well-being
I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have parents that set me up for success without falling into the trap of measuring success with arbitrary end goals. Instead of focusing only on results, focus on building your child up now, so they can achieve whatever they want later. Otherwise, if they fail to meet the high expectations, they’ll see themselves as a failure and that low self-efficacy can become a huge mental barrier preventing them from further pursuing and achieving what they’re capable of. If they do reach the goals set by parents, maybe they’ll be happy, but there’s a good chance they’re left feeling unhappy and burnt out. Spending your life pursuing goals set by others will ultimately result in the realization that you’ve spent all this time and energy on getting something that you never even wanted for yourself. And if you have something else you realize you want to pursue instead, you have to forgo everything you’ve invested into the last thing, which can be a hard jump not everyone is willing to make. Some would rather stay on their current path even though they hate it because it provides security. For context I am not a first or second generation immigrant although I come from a culture and community that extremely values education and investing in valuable skills to build generational wealth. I understand how immigrant parents have preconceived notions of what end-goals their children should achieve though, especially considering being in a new and strange society and the desire to quickly build generational wealth. So just remember y’all, appreciate and take advantage of the opportunities your parents give you. If you’re high achieving because of high expectations, you’ve opened a lot of doors. Just make sure that you walk through a door that you chose. Pursuing and achieving goals you set for yourself will only strengthen and enable you to reach greater successes. Remember that you are investing in yourself, and only you can define what success means.
Some real truth! He finally became wise! Parents should not coach their kids and plan their futures. They are not robots. They are real living being who deserve to live their lives to maximize their dreams and happiness.
Ang payo ng magulang ko makapagtapos ng pag-aaral, magkaron ng trabaho at maging successful. Kaya ganyan kasi hindi naman kami mayaman. Mahirap walang pera kapag nangailangan ka ng pera.
No, this is completely wrong. Sometimes people cant explain their own success. Take advice from a streamer when 99.9% of them dont make it, surely you will be in the 0.1%
@@wassup4532 Hes talking about purpose not just for success rate. Obviously harvard is super low low chance to get into as well, but the guy in the video is saying whats the point if u have no meaningful goal. Trying to deviate from the asian money lifestyle drilled into kids
@@EvanPilb you dont make any sense the purpose doesnt matter at all. You are just taking advice because you see a millionaire that made it. If he didnt make it you wouldnt want to be like him this is survivor bias. If he didnt make it I very seriously doubt this man would give you the same advice. And the biggest irony nobody in the comments seem to realize is he is saying he didnt want to do a degree a in investment banking but he still ended up founding and investment company. Parents should aim to give their kids advice that almost guarantee a stable job which is a good education in a good industry. And if you want to go against that advice you are good to go but life is gonna be most likely harder for you after, way harder than going against your parents advice so for me its a joke when people blame their parents for that. If they cant handle that imagine handling something as hard as finding a stable job with an art degree and not having money to be economically independent. This kind of careers are for resilient people not for whiners.
@@wassup4532 what are you even talking about. Family is purpose for most working men. People work for their family. You work for a reason. You don't need harvard for a house, and you don't need to aimlessly pressure kids into harvard for that. That is the toxic asian upbringings that most people face, hence the stereotype of "must be doctor". You guide children into both finding something they love and financial stability in work. Constantly pressuring to study study go to Harvard with no specific goal is not preparing anyone for real life, and is pretty damn unrealistic. Reply
@@EvanPilb You are delusional if you think most people know what they want to work on or that parents know what their kids will want. For 90% of people you just dont know what to study or work at. You have a vague idea but nothing too clear. Parents setting high goals in careers for their kids that guarantee stable jobs is nothing bad, it doesnt mean their kids CANT choose another path. But the truth is that other path is going to be probably harder for them in the future and you will need the resilience to go against your parents advice to thrive in that life. If you do a degree in philosophy because you like phillosophy but then you are 35 with no job, no money for a house or kids, no people hiring you maybe you should have done a different degree that enables you to do that. At 35 is fucking hard to switch careers. I have friends stuck working on shit like a bowling alleys and regretting it hard because their parents never motivated them to grit their teeth and finish their degree. Jobs dont have to be your passion. Hell I think for most people arent. That doesnt mean you dont like them.
To have a good education is important. Now he can make tones of money and every doors are open for him. Even if you don't like something do it cause you can learn a lot and take everything you can as knowledges to grown mature and evolve in this wolrd. You don't need to learn only what you love sometimes stuffs you dislike are useful to learn for the future. Your parents were right. Even if you don't like it now your education is good you can do anything.
The problem with parents is that they act like they know all the answers and think its easy once you graduate. It ain't easy... Smh. Especially if you suffer from mental health issues. Its getting more common for young people to lose their minds these days because they are truly lost and misguided.
Absolutely no one (not even your parents) can know what is best for you.....that's in your soul and you have to be brave enough to listen to it and follow it. Your path is only yours. ❤
Just tick the "Black" racial box. Write about getting shot while going to library to study because no money to pay for electricity at home. When interview comes just put on darken the skin and throw on an afro weave
@@fooball24H He got into harvard as an asian american, that’s next level difficulty. and money isn’t everything. Why do you think suicide rates are higher in Asian countries.
Once I graduated from high school, it made me realize that I was already more educated than either of my parents and they genuinely couldn’t help me any further than that.
I'm sorrt but raising a child well isn't just having good intentions, it's about actual competence as a parent in actually helping the child find meaning in they're life. And where in the video was it implied that the intentions of parents are anything other than good?
Same here went to Harvard for my dad, while in school being super focused on medicine- soon as I graduated Covid came as my first year out- then BOOM I got to get vaccinated - Now I’m FULLTIME sick my ear ring all day long and my dad is old- still asking me when I’m going back to school- like dude YOU GO- ur parents aren’t YOU. Don’t live your life for them.
They just want to make sure you won't have the same hardships they faced. Money is not everything, but having enough or more, will definitely make your life easier than the lack of it. When you have a safe career to fall back to, surely it won't be that much of a risk to try follow whatever makes you happy.
So relatable. All my parent always talk about is “Study Hard and live a good life”, but that so called “good life” is just working in a chair, earning money, but don’t have time to travel, get a girlfriend, or even hanging out with my friend
“If I have seen further,” Isaac Newton wrote in a 1675 letter to fellow scientist Robert Hooke, “it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” We can see further than our parents because they put us on their shoulders.
The only thing my dearest Pa showed me every day what he would like was kindness, generosity and to treat everyone the same, something he did all his life as a doctor in Zambia, Zimbabwe, South Africa and the U.K.
I realized that it doesn't mean the older the person, the smarter they are. I saw this on my parents and relatives, they always act they know everything, but when you ask them what they know, they don't actually have knowledge about certain things in the world. So you better not take all of old people's suggestions about what you should do, what course you should take in college. Because when it's all done, you'll end up realizing you did things that you don't actually want, worse is you forgot you own potential and end up wasting lots of time building yourself because you keep chasing others people's expectations and dreams.
I think your parent did a hella good job. I clicked this short because “I got into Harvard” title. At least they give you some directions and supports. Now that’s you older, of course you can choose your own way because now you know where you want to go. And with Harvard student title, it opens lots of doors
Gave him direction? If it's not what the child wants to do with they're life how is it direction? If his career in the end ended up not needing a Harvard scholarship how is that parents doing a good job? Considering the child is actually the one that did the studying? Now you're older you know were you want to go? What about all the people who knew what they wanted to do as a child and that is now their career they have zero regrets in.
@@Gemini530 Grateful for what exactly? You are both shallow beings definitely projecting what YOU want forgeting there are many people like mr who couldn't care less about being rich. I know money is your god, and anyone who doesn't worship money is a arsehole to you. Try asking your money to revive you from the dead in your grave.
I don't. I think education comes in more than one stripe ... and how smart is he really if he didn't figure out "the meaning of life" before completing Harvard???? Just saying....
I managed to get one of those dream jobs, and it turned out I didn't like it. I had to tell myself that it was worth it, cuz everyone was so impressed, and so I developed a shitty "I'm better than you" attitude. Then I finally realized I was miserable and left. I'm a broke student now, redirecting my life, and I've never been happier ❤
The world will never change, his parents understanding of it is spot on. Education, money, companionship, connections/networking, authority/power. My mom came from nothing so she told me to do the same as his parents said. As soon as I got there, I too realized that I wanted something different. Even though it’s different it still falls within those lines. I studied real estate after college made good money that founded other investments, found my soulmate made tons of connections that helped me with my projects. I was able to become completely independent and had the power to create my own schedule.
so you’re gonna spend years in school studying something you likely don’t like just to be “secure”? what’s the point of “finding your passion” afterwards if you’ve already gave your all?
Financially it may pay but hating your life because of it can't be fixed monetarily. There's other opportunities and options that may serve better without that extemt of sacrifice Aiming for Harvard is prioritizing more wealth/social status than basic needs, including life outside of that.
No, Harvard will NOT always pay off, it depends on a myriad of factors, it may be the career one ends up sticking with for life doesn't require a Harvard degree at all, life is far more complicated than that
Absolutely love the conversations you’re having. This is so very much on point with the experiences many of us had growing up. Excellent conversation!! Keep up the great work! ❤
All those three things that you stated only meant that they want you to be successful and not have to worry about you when they pass away. So to me that's them doing the best that they can and what any other parent would want for their child if they were good parents that actually cared. Even though times are changing and are different than how our parents experienced it, they still just want the best for you if they are actually genuine
Right your parents don't know everything that's a fact but from 1 to 18 years old they know way more than you, you take what mom and dad taught you and you build on it and then teach your kids and they'll build on you it's the same way if you break your kid down in rare cases they'll get out and break the chain and treat their kids better but most are weak and will pass it on to their kids and break them down and it continues on my mom and dad don't know everything but what they have taught me I've built on I see my parents mistakes and my parents good deeds I throw out all the mistakes and keep only the good and build more good on top of that while also making mistakes that my future kids will not make
The problem is... for most people you have to go through all of that to know for sure if its for you or not. And by then, you've already worked so hard for it, it feels like a waste to just give it up.
@@hehe41373 your right. All I'm saying is whether you chose your path, or your parents did, or whoever, you don't know what is the career path that's right for you until your doing it. Its not common people actually end up doing what "they were meant to do", cause they took so much time working to get to where they are.
People are saying it’s fine because ‘At least now he knows he doesn’t like it!’ as if he didn’t make sacrifices committing large amounts of time and energy on a dream that was never his.
As a mum of three, I’ve seen how the education system favours a certain type of smarts but not necessarily the sort that gives you good success. Existing outside of those parameters and thriving, living life and not having your life leave from u… success has many definitions. You find the one that suits u, u find the off beaten path for it, and u pursue it with passion. Love what u do and u will never feel like you’re working… ♥️
You are right... 100% However, they were also right to push you. You have a good education now AND you are STILL YOUNG. You figured this out. One of the greatest threats as a working person is we don't know how to invest our income because everyone is trying to screw us. You know how to make your money make more money. Am I right? So that is an important component to living comfortable and the rest you can figure out. You seem upbeat and motivated... That's a win in my book. Wish you all the best
And guess what youre completely fine and youre life is better than 99.99% of people thanks to your dad.. the happiness part you can get it later... but still your dad put you in the best position... it might be hard but still huge RESPECT for fathers like that
This a big problem in immigrant families that are poor. They make a plan for their children’s lives with out having understanding about how things actually work.
I'm 26 and more and more I'm realizing how my parents were just winging it the whole time. They still are! There's still a lot they do not know, things they are afraid of, and things that they might never experience, and that's okay. I'm proud of them seeing how they've handled things especially now that I'm around their age when they started having a family.
Well, better than not going to Harvard. He's still a lot better in terms of having resources, skills and tools because of it. His parents may not be 100% correct but they're not wrong and raised him very well. It's all about having virtues, responsibilities and getting used to working hard. Please don't take this video as a way to disprove your parents. Just because you don't agree or like what your parents tell you, doesn't mean they're wrong.
Being so narrow isn’t the best idea. Perhaps he was more suited to a school like MIT or Stanford, or even perhaps Oxford or West Point. Saying Harvard or Die leaves a lot of potential upside on the table.
Exactly. A lot of kids are ungrateful assholes, like this one. His mom should have aborted him. That's why I refuse to have kids. I tell my friends not to sacrifice a lot for their kids because most kids are ungrateful, like this one. Couples should use their hard earned money to enjoy life, not to spend it on ungrateful kids. Just send them to regular schools. If they want a better school, make them work for it and make sure to kick them out of your house when they turn 18. Some of them can be nasty parasites.
Right! Because your parents make their best to supply you all the resources they can earn to help you achieve where you are now instead of using on themselves. So that they don’t have the chance or opportunity to have themselves the same educational resources as you can have. We all should only thank our parents , and find a way out on our own.
His story is essentially the Asian American Dream but I also agree with him
Bro he can only say this stuff after he is at the top. Rich people say money don’t matter, attractive people say looks don’t matter. His parents gave him the ability to talk down good accomplishments, we wouldn’t even be listening to him if he didn’t follow follow his parents
@@OcaOca He said he hated it when he got there, many talk about sacrificing much for something that they don't actually want. We only have so much time and should probably use it in a way which aligns with what we need, want, value, etc...
*and
@@jonah11111What did he sacrifice?
@@artistevivien poor guy had to work hard for a few years let’s all cry for him
Bro woke up and decided to do an interview right away
🤣
Hahaha
Thats a normal person's energy not a freaking 14 year old high on tiktok and vapes :)
@@eden5260 what’re u on about
@@steve29384 brains is not everyones thing
"...so then i decided that my biceps would become weapons of mass destruction."
Beerbiceps
@@ArjunA-ln3ovew not that clown
oh please dont fill my ears and eyes with that garbage
Lies again? Ridiculous Modules USD SGD
Bro just rolls out of bed spitting facts.
The funny thing is even after telling this speech you still would’ve gone to Harvard and you still would’ve worked at Blackstone. Come on. The only lesson here is that you still would’ve done it.
@@regbhyyuexactly what I was gonna say. He looks pretty well off. Despite how he may feel about his upbringing, his parents were right
underrated comment
Spitting facts is actually pretty rare in this world today. Kudos to him.
His messy bed hair is kinda cute ngl
(ok ok I'm not one of these girls who date nerds just because they are smart💀)
My grandma once told me you came here to live not to succeed. I didn’t understood what she meant back then. Rest In Peace grandma.
That’s interesting can u elaborate further?
There's a lot of "suck" and "cess" in "success."
Succes as a generalized view of the world its just a worthless scam, it requires to sacrifice a lot of yourself to follow a path everyone is following without question and in ignorance of themselves while the real succes as an individual is being ignored by you and rejected by the rest who keeps looking for the same "succes concept". Everything outside our responsabilities to others should be seeked for our own specific and individual needs and desires to really pursue our own succes, happines or realization. Follow blindly what is said to us its not succes at all.
What a great piece of advice she had left you
So why are a live you taste the happiness from success, when you have a family you have to succeed on how to raise them correctly and how to provide to them a good life that's success .
His arms understood the assignment. Harvard strong
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Body dysmorphia gets into you
@@plainseed please stfu what body dysmorphia lmao??
@@plainseed having muscles doesnt mean body dysmorphia lmao
🤣
Superbly put. Most parents live their dreams through their kids. And more often than not, the kids land up hating what their parents expected of them.
But u cant deny that his life and his descendants life is pretty much off to a headstart thanks to his parents. Harvard on resume opens door no matter where in the world. So his parents really did understand the world.
@@cjyoung4080they understood a slice of it. Education for most of us will give us relative assurance that we’ll get a decent job. However connections and social skills seem as if not more important imo. Beauty helps too
@@tanaminogarashi He gained the opportunity for more powerful connections through Harvard also.
@@cjyoung4080this. And understanding that makes you realize how ungrateful he truly is. Many kids don’t even have two parent households, let alone parents who sacrifice lots to help get you into Harvard (which sure as hell is a great boost)
If my dream is to have a healthy and happy life, and I want to impose that on my kids, should this be okay? My heart told me yes, but how is that different from wanting a rich and well-educated life for them? Would my kids rather want a short-lived and unhappy life if I only hope for a healthy and happy life for them? I’m not questioning, but I’m really worried that what I feel right is not gonna work fine for them.
The most significant thing he said, “…sometimes what is the best isn’t right.” A life lesson well learned. I would love to know what he is doing now.
I'm curious what he meant by "right" because what he believe is "right" could be wrong.
@@PA-uj1rd Unfair. What is right for one person may not be right for another. Who are we to judge?
He raised a total of $100 million for his startup Karat
@@PA-uj1rd what the parents think is best may not suit their child
@clbert7460 "who are we to judge" lol recipe for anarchy. Let a rapist rape because what is wrong to most people is right to him? And then who are we to judge? Well thought 👏🏼👏🏼
The harsh reality that few people will tell you is that, yes, you do need to make money, and quite frankly, a lot of it. But then you need to create meaning in your life, whether that is through raising a family, hobbies, volunteering, etc. Life without both is incredibly hard.
That is so true, balance is key
But when you are poor all you need is money
I think also avoiding lifestyle inflation and learning to be content, otherwise there’s no end to chasing more and more.
I'd say without either of those things you'd rather die.
(No money= no food 💀, No meaning= no purpose= might lead to 😶🔫).
no, not quite frankly "a lot of it". people live comfortably on very little. That's beautiful. That's how it should be. the West suffers from greed. It's a big blind spot.
His looks: 🙂
His arms: 💪
Noooo he is soo cute 🥰
He is pretty attractive :^
@@anushka_khagram 😣 😖 😫 😩
@@heed15 😣 😖 😫 😩
Dude's jacked
Tiger parents… As a South Korean, my parents acted like merciful tyrants in many times… Dear all sons and daughters of Tiger Parents, you survived. And I hope you to live a life full of happiness and love not oppression and low self esteem😢
I think immigrant parents come in wide range of spectrum. There’s many who clearly have unresolved trauma around diaspora and poverty / social isolation, and there’s some who thrive, and plenty in between. Although you have no choice in what hand you’ve been dealt with, you do have the responsibility to not pass on that trauma to the next generation
The funny thing is even after telling this speech you still would’ve gone to Harvard and you still would’ve worked at Blackstone. Come on. The only lesson here is that you still would’ve done it.
@@ShacklefordR Having been a potential Asian immigrant (I ended up not staying in the States), I can relate to this. It's anecdotal, but my compatriots who immigranted seems to place a bit more importance in making lots of money and wanting their kids to be doctors. It was nauseous.
asians are so suppressed it's heartbreaking 💔
My Korean parents never instilled any of that on me. They were so busy working, and I think they just trusted me in whatever I did. For a time I wasn't even going to college, they still supported me no matter what. I was a late bloomer. Got my bachelors at age 28 in Computer science, now I make 6 figures and I love that I can support my wife and kids. I will never tell my kids how to live their life. until they turn 18, I will try my absolute best to shape their character into an objectively decent human being. After that, if they become a technician, tattoo artist, mechanic, or whatever job Asian parents think of as "failures", so be it, as long as they are happy I am all in for them. The trust that my parents gave me allowed me to fully explore myself and yes, it took me much much longer than someone like this dude but I love what I do and I know exactly why I am doing it.
My whole family were late bloomers which saved me because I never had the feeling I blew it and I could turn my life around. It took me awhile to get my act together. My struggle is I’m an organizational idiot, but I excel in my work. I have post grad education which proves in my mind that there is a God.
There is a difference between giving your kids advice and expecting that they follow your advice. If you're not giving your kids advice then you're not being a parent.
No tattoo artist
Same with pakistani so called educated family.. i was pushed into getting mbbs degree and become a doctor.. i m a girl.. worked 1 year in a hospital and tought about suicide daily..mbbs was never my choice but family sucks the life out of you of u dont do as told .. finally i pooped on my degree.. called goodbye to career as a doctor .. now i m married and mother of 3 kids... i m happiest ever...alhmdullillah mashallah
@@lifeinkarachi123 You are lucky. You may work again once the children grow up.
Sometimes parents do this for three reasons…it’s an extension of their unfulfilled self dreams, fear of the assurance for older age living and reputation . Parents may mean well but it doesn’t always ends well.
It's same in the Philippines btw and most Asian countries too.
Most Filipino parents saw their child as their retirement money and they stop working as soon as their children started to work and earn money.
And the most sad thing is that they don't want their children to marry for obvious reasons.
It is NOT my experience by the way but I always saw it around here.
@@connordrake5713 Parents like that should never have been parents. You can't use your children like tools.
Parents tell you these things not only for them but for you and your extended family and for generations to come.
They tell you these things assuming that you haven't thought of a greater than life goal yet.
So they tell what they think can be a goal for you to follow. Some of us may think that our parents are forcing us because we already have a goal in mind that we think are better.
This is why we always have to discuss it with our parents. Don't just listen and keep your opinions quiet.
But that's really why we are annoyed most of the time. A lot of us don't have a voice and don't know how to tell our parents about it in a way they understand.
My advice to you is to not watch videos that makes you think parents are bad. Learn to talk to them comfortably and clearly, with a plan in mind so that they won't think you're crazy for not even thinking about going to Harvard.
@@lewomewo3480 I know, but sometimes they really are harmful or bad parents so not looking into the possibility is dangerous, still your advice is a good one, always talk to your parents and share and find out if you can come to a good end.
@@connordrake5713 lyrics the Lord hasta the 🕜🕜 🕜🕜 😅😅🕜🕜 madething whole
There is a lot of pressure being a child from immigrant parents. Personally, my mom never pushed me to be the best in school. I put that pressure on myself and it was very hard, still continues to be hard, to go easy on myself. I believed that getting into a good college, having a good job, and finally being financially stable would be the ultimate goal to provide for my mom who struggled so much for my siblings and I. My mom passed when I was 15 so that dream came crashing down when my motive for success disappeared. I’m thankful I can provide for myself to this day, but it’s not always easy to feel complete within yourself when you had all these un/intentional pressures instilled in you from a young age.
True that. I have way too much unnecessary pressure. I don’t even talk much to my parents but still feel their pressure to this day. I look at my friend’s family and it seems she and her siblings were raised with no pressure at all. All of her siblings are 25+, still living at home, for the most part unemployed. 😅. My friend was previously working at a grocery store even though she had two college degrees. She finally quit after 7 years there thinking maybe to try something else. She and her parents seem fine with everything.
But when I was unemployed after graduating from college, my parents criticized me a lot and I became severely depressed. I struggled a lot since and always feel like a failure, even though I moved out, am able to financially provide for myself… I left my job recently because I realized it was a job to please my parents, not a job that actually fall in line with who I am and cause me even more stress. Anywho, our childhood and how were treated affects us a lot in adulthood. I only hope to be able to finally feel worthy one day
Sorry for your loss. You put pressure on yourself because are a good daughter who loves her mom.
you owe it to your children to make them able to provide security for themselves
Sameeee as the child of Hispanic immigrants I felt that pressure but my parents never pushed me to be the best either like they didn’t know about APs and when I learned, I started taking some purely on my own volition. Yes, they want the best for me but it was always my own pressure. I didn’t need to choose a stem major but I did anyway. Im studying to become a scientist but ik my parents didn’t push me. Anyway, I think part of it is bc they were so successful in science as well. It made me feel like I had to compare to that unintentional standard that they set. We’ve talked about it recently and now ik that all they want is for me to be happy. My mom told me idc if u get all C’s I just want u to be happy.
How did you maintain the self-imposed pressure with your dream being crushed?
Im Asian and my parents instilled MD MD MD ... I eventually went to one of 3 top pre-Med schools ...Then dropped out after the first year...I was miserable, tortured and hated hated being in the hospital with a passion... Now I run my own passion businesses and make more money than most surgeons anyways ... Oh and I'm still paying off my student loans
Damn you must be making bank if you make more than most surgeons. Congrats on your success!
What's this successful passion business you speak of.
Good for you! What's your business if I may ask?
i wish parents and schools teach you to be the best of what you are but thats not a false hope its clearly a misdirection. only you can KNOW. THE ANSWER IS WITHIN YOU. LOVE YOURSRLF. DONT BE HARD ON YOURSELF. 😭
May God decrease your burdens and grant you ease and guidance in all aspects of life
In the Asian culture, he is a good son. He made his parents’ dream came true and now he’s learning to pursue his. Even if his parents weren’t entirely right, they lead him in the right direction.
Eh don’t live your life pursuing somebody else’s dream. Children are not vessels for their parents’ dreams. Growing up my dad projected his dreams onto me and my siblings. It didn’t work. Everybody is different. Your kids are not for you to live vicariously through.
He is! And the only way he found out his parents were wrong was bc he did what they said lol. So people don’t be using this as an excuse to just not listen. My parents wanted me to go to college and get a corporate job and although I too have come to realize this isn’t what I want in life, it’s only because I did what they said and now I can still leverage that money I get from the job and degree to pursue my own dreams.
only a great son because he was able to achieve it. My wife pursued her parent's dream of being a violinist. She got her doctorate. She hates it, and is depressed because she has no other skill. It was not the right direction. She feels guilty about not being successful (in a super competitive music world) even after all the money her parents spent on tuition. When she tried to convince her parents that she didn't want to do music...well let's just say they didn't take it well. She is now doing what she wants to do - medicine. I am supporting her right now and she is slowly healing and gaining self confidence. Even then, her mom is so toxic and tries to blame her because she didn't turn out to be a musical prodigy genious. It's bullsh!t really.
@@tanaminogarashi lol the parent's dream was that he became successful. just their advice for him to be successful was a bit wrong, but overall they were right
@@BWTECH0521 his parents have good intentions but they weren’t “right” or “wrong” - he could only follow their wishes until he uncovered his own. so yes i agree that this was part of the process of him figuring it out. but imo a parents’ job is to nurture and guide their kids, not necessarily tell them what to do. i’m not saying they should coddle their kid, nor should they be too harsh. just let the kid steer and be the driver of his life and the parents can be cheerleaders or mentors if requested
My dad and mom were happy as fuk when I went to a community college. I love my parents.
Love this. ❤
that means they have low standards, expectations, and goals for your life. doesn't necessarily mean bad, But you're not fonna be furthering your life much
@@ExilixE my mum has no expectations of me, she always says as long as i am happy then all is good.
if anything this motivates me even further to make HER proud because that’s the only thing that makes me happy.
a parent having unrealistic expectations of their child and never being happy for them can damage the child to beyond repair
@@ExilixE where you go to school doesn’t really matter unless you want insane debt I would take advantage of the community colleges
@@Heller_215 The only people that say that probably went to Junior College.
My dad grew up in complete poverty with 11 siblings and luckily he has always been the type of person who didn't care much about wealth at all. He taught me lots of wise life lessons and he is the type of person to value the afterlife more than some temporary money and status. Love my dad for never being superficial and always being there for me ♡
Wow I also think same and think that I am the only one who think about it, do u also believe in afterlife like ur dad??
@@bilalmalik4140ofc I do ^^ This life is just a test :)
@@ilikedesserts what if it isnt
@@rifqimujahid4907 Life on earth is a Test. There is a purpose to living knowing it is a Test. One is working towards earning one's Akhirah/Afterlife.
This life is temporary because death occurs. The Afterlife is eternal.
"Dust thou art to dust returnest, was not said of the Soul." :)
This person disagrees ua-cam.com/video/a2w5VpflZpk/v-deo.html&lc=UgwannCHh1JEQ9DAckt4AaABAg
This dude works out a lot.
I feel african kids (especially the ones living abroad) can relate 😅 too. My mom would tell you this "the only way to survive in america is school/education or the way to success to school" she wanted me to do somethin' in the health field mehnn i hated nothin' was clickin' for me i was depressed. Long story short, i didn't take any classes or go to school for two years (this was during early into the pandemic) then developed a pasion for tech/IT changed to computer science last year then this i changed to cybersecurity currently taken classes hopin' to finish in 2025 on the sidebeen studyin' for certifcations to put on resume and apply to a job. Mehhnn it been quite rollercoaster for me and more to come.
Good for you! College was a disaster for me after my first year but now I'm back with a new major after having taken a break working entry-level positions. Silly as it might seem, I found pride and happiness at Walmart and Amazon after having convinced myself earlier I was beyond worthless. School really messed me up but things are looking better now.
That’s great to hear! Personally, though my parents don’t put a ton of pressure on me it is obvious to tell they want me to fit into their image of a great son: straight, Christian, masculine and in-the-future STEM student. These standards don’t come from a malicious place, both of them hold a belief in hell where sinners and non believers go, so these expectations/desires are really them trying to keep me safe from a threat they think exists. Unfortunately for them I’m not really any of those things, though they don’t know that as it would definitely stress them out even more for reasons I mentioned above. It truly is a sticky situation but I believe it’ll turn out better someday. I’ll find a way to make it all better
@@Flow-Fi- Good for you and good luck.
The reason he has a multitude of choices now and CAN do what he wants to do is because his parents nurtured him and enabled him to get a good education.
That’s what a lot of Asian kids don’t understand. Asian parents pick a high-achieving goal for you, but you’re also supposed to be growing your own mind and you can change it if you feel passionate about something else. The main lesson is to aim high and work hard towards a goal.
Very true. First you need money, then you have freedom to choose what you don’t like to do. Hate it then use your money and Harvard degree to change your path then!
Yeah! What is he trying to say? Like he has higher chances to pursue what he wants or make impacts with a high school degree or something. I don’t mean a college degree would necessary do better, just be thankful to your parents who raised you and stop bitching about this non sense.
I agree
There is no guilt in ensuring your children life to be on the right path
Harvard graduate has more chance of being hired than those outside of ivy league
yes, but not all asians kids are able to crack harvard. those kids lose themselves and really think that it's gonna be the end of the world. it leaves one with trauma and little self worth.
I’m not Asian but it seems like a lot of immigrant parents put a lot of emphasis on end-goals that they arbitrarily perceive as being a marker for success.
While that aim high shoot high mentality might work great for some, I’d imagine for those who fail to reach those expectations, they end up feeling like a failure. And that lower self esteem and self efficacy can prevent them from pursuing what they’re capable of later on.
And especially if conversations like these don’t happen, how will children understand that they aren’t bound to their parents goals? Because I agree building a strong foundation through academics and extracurriculars is a great way to instill a sense that the child is capable of achieving whatever they put their mind to.
Parents guide their children to the parents' dream. they see their children as an extension of themselves. Parents rarely see their children as separate individuals
that's so true I always say that. Parents would never admit that tho
I mean technically speaking, you are an extension of your parents until you’re an adult. Like they essentially own you.
@@henrydavis6983 yes, and no. Our brain is developed enough that we can think for ourselves even before the age of 12, our brain and body are an extension of our parents until we can understand and think from our brains...
@@Phantomx_Strider yeah no, I have seen plenty of teens who do not know how to think properly. Majority is mildly idiot.
Bc life already hit them in the face, so they want their offspring to at least have some insurance,
He can easily say this because he has already achieved something during his young age. Never be conclusive unless it is the last day of your life. The best thing about good educations and wealth is that you can have choices.
steve jobs when steve unemployment walks in
I was pressured academically but not to any severe degree…I just made sure I got straight A’s…but my father always told me to go into engineering and that he knows other people who’s kids are making 100 grand to start..always being pushed in a direction that didn’t suit me didn’t get me anywhere…I ended up not following my parents dreams or my dreams because I was confused and have zero confidence…everyone wants their children to be have more than they do but money is not always the answer
What were your dreams? And did you feel like that confusion and lack of confidence came from you not having emotional support from your parents??
I asked the second part because I've felt the same to some degree.
@@fauxdauteur in this case I guess you just don’t have dream, when you become adult . I’m asian as well, my parents told me what I should achieve, and when I realized it wasn’t my dream it was kinda late. I don’t have passion or dream at all.
I have a similar story. I let my parents decide what was good for me, because I thought they knew better. But the more I followed their wishes, the more depressed and lost I became.
I am an engineer now, a career my father choose, working in a company he also choose.
I am grateful for what my parents did for me, but I can't continue to live the life of another person. I want to do what's right for me, not anything crazy, just something that gives me strength.
@儚いキリン I can totally resonate with you. I never thought I would find a person who feels the same way that I do I'm a law student, again it's my parents choice not mine because I didn't really know what to do or what I want to do in life. Still now I don't know what to do. I admire people who get to have a passion, something to atleast make you feel alive and excited and those who chase their passion and excel in it are like superheroes to me cuz it is really an amazing thing to do in your lifetime than to wake up everyday with nothing in this world you love to do.
@@snehar1235 Yea it was a tough time for me. But I learnt to accept it, there is nothing we can do with it. I'm also an asexual as well, no passion for work nor desires for human. Sometimes I still envy other people, but we have good sides as well. Living with no hunger actually makes me feel calm and independent. I don't need somebody or something to make me happy. It is painful, but eventually you will find your peace. Let's start with some small target. Even now I still don't know what my dream is, and yeah it's okay to live like this.
when rich people say they care about money and pretty people don't care about looks is because they already have it and don't need more
Yup the studies they’ve done on income and general happiness showed that after about 64k it stopped making much of an impact.
you sound jealous
@@spacesurfer901 l opinion
@@Whosyourdaddy21 that’s interesting.. I feel like it’s more than 64K.. that’s a pretty average salary.
Facts!!!! When you know the struggle you don’t want that for your kids.
At least he used this whole situation to make a story that would pave whatever path to him
I wish growing up. I had this kind of advice from my parents. They didnt care if I got a degree or even saved up money. So I give credit to his family. At least they cared about your future.
“The road to hell is paved with Ivy League degrees.”
sjsjsjssddkdk where did u get the quote from 😭
@@peppy_000 They removed “poison” before “ivy”
Here, here. Wolf, wolf!
@@peppy_000 Thomas Sowell
@@truthseeker8844 dumbest quote ever
I fell into the same problem, taking advice from people I loved but who grew up in another time. Gotta do what you want for YOU
Errrr, like you can make better decisions than those you loved when you were too young to know better. First world allergies
Same, as in I didn't because the advice just wasn't good for me or this time. I've been called stubborn a lot 😅 But it's okay, I've come to accept they'll never understand. Or truly know me even, I don't think you can do either unless you have empathy, an open mind, critical thinking skills and depth to yourself and the way you live.
@@jordanferguson2254something tells me it’s a mess.
oh
This guy looks like he has a major sleeper build 💪
They actually set him up for success.
They did more for him then he realized...
He build solid foundation and wouldn't realize how 'world works' today without his parents guidance.
It is precisely his parents that shaped him.
He's the one who studied, not the parents
We all stand on the shoulder of those who came before in one Way or the other. Nomatter How you have learned people around and the incidents and relations you have. Is shaping you helping to Mold you and help you learn first its mostly your parents and family but later others contribute and you make choices that shapes what you learn of life and your personality. Its all interwoven noone is an island
who was PRAISING his parents. Get some help.
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Excuse me, but if you took a break from being an overtriggered snowflake you'll realise that this person never once critised his parents. He was PRAISING his parents. It's not just his parents who shaped him, everyone around him shaped him.
@@twitter.comelomhycy The "overtriggered snowflake" is you, the comment didn't even @ you, they were expanding the thought of the og comment, also has a over confident tone in it. XD
(Btw i agree with you, but your reaction is hilarious, i think is overused the ❄️ thing I mean)
Honestly
he’s gonna be thankful that he is financially stable first, then get to do what he actually likes, then.
Yeah, or die in a freak accident and then you wasted your life trying to be a good egg.
@@rubeusstrato8912 chances of dying in a car accident 1%. Chances of having a miserable life without a good education or skill. gazillion percent.
@@ExilixE he didn’t even say anything about a car 💀
@@ExilixE I don't listen to statistics, and sounds like you just fuckin' made that up one the motherfuckin' spot boyo
...
They just wanted you to be the best prepared for life they could think of. After they know that YOU know you can do it, you can go off and become a pizza maker. The important part is that you are fully aware and capable of many more options in life.
So true. He’s still young. He can go off and do what he wants.
That was a big one for me to finally realize, how even though my parents want the best for me they actually dont know what is and isnt right and following their wishes and advice has never really served me while following my own instincts (even when it worries them) has had good outcomes for my personal well-being
He was living his parents dreams not his dream
I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have parents that set me up for success without falling into the trap of measuring success with arbitrary end goals. Instead of focusing only on results, focus on building your child up now, so they can achieve whatever they want later.
Otherwise, if they fail to meet the high expectations, they’ll see themselves as a failure and that low self-efficacy can become a huge mental barrier preventing them from further pursuing and achieving what they’re capable of.
If they do reach the goals set by parents, maybe they’ll be happy, but there’s a good chance they’re left feeling unhappy and burnt out. Spending your life pursuing goals set by others will ultimately result in the realization that you’ve spent all this time and energy on getting something that you never even wanted for yourself. And if you have something else you realize you want to pursue instead, you have to forgo everything you’ve invested into the last thing, which can be a hard jump not everyone is willing to make. Some would rather stay on their current path even though they hate it because it provides security.
For context I am not a first or second generation immigrant although I come from a culture and community that extremely values education and investing in valuable skills to build generational wealth. I understand how immigrant parents have preconceived notions of what end-goals their children should achieve though, especially considering being in a new and strange society and the desire to quickly build generational wealth.
So just remember y’all, appreciate and take advantage of the opportunities your parents give you. If you’re high achieving because of high expectations, you’ve opened a lot of doors. Just make sure that you walk through a door that you chose. Pursuing and achieving goals you set for yourself will only strengthen and enable you to reach greater successes. Remember that you are investing in yourself, and only you can define what success means.
Exactly!
I wish I had parents that cared enough about me to guide me towards anything
My parents were never at home. I’m lost as fuck
Me too
Same
Most of their knowledge is just accurate in their time. Try to find out yourself cause that’s how you survive in this world.
Me too 😢
Some real truth! He finally became wise! Parents should not coach their kids and plan their futures. They are not robots. They are real living being who deserve to live their lives to maximize their dreams and happiness.
That's just asinine.
Ang payo ng magulang ko makapagtapos ng pag-aaral, magkaron ng trabaho at maging successful. Kaya ganyan kasi hindi naman kami mayaman. Mahirap walang pera kapag nangailangan ka ng pera.
Always take advise from someone you wish you were, not someone who thinks they know best for you.
No, this is completely wrong. Sometimes people cant explain their own success. Take advice from a streamer when 99.9% of them dont make it, surely you will be in the 0.1%
@@wassup4532 Hes talking about purpose not just for success rate. Obviously harvard is super low low chance to get into as well, but the guy in the video is saying whats the point if u have no meaningful goal. Trying to deviate from the asian money lifestyle drilled into kids
@@EvanPilb you dont make any sense the purpose doesnt matter at all. You are just taking advice because you see a millionaire that made it. If he didnt make it you wouldnt want to be like him this is survivor bias. If he didnt make it I very seriously doubt this man would give you the same advice.
And the biggest irony nobody in the comments seem to realize is he is saying he didnt want to do a degree a in investment banking but he still ended up founding and investment company.
Parents should aim to give their kids advice that almost guarantee a stable job which is a good education in a good industry. And if you want to go against that advice you are good to go but life is gonna be most likely harder for you after, way harder than going against your parents advice so for me its a joke when people blame their parents for that. If they cant handle that imagine handling something as hard as finding a stable job with an art degree and not having money to be economically independent. This kind of careers are for resilient people not for whiners.
@@wassup4532 what are you even talking about. Family is purpose for most working men. People work for their family. You work for a reason. You don't need harvard for a house, and you don't need to aimlessly pressure kids into harvard for that. That is the toxic asian upbringings that most people face, hence the stereotype of "must be doctor".
You guide children into both finding something they love and financial stability in work. Constantly pressuring to study study go to Harvard with no specific goal is not preparing anyone for real life, and is pretty damn unrealistic.
Reply
@@EvanPilb You are delusional if you think most people know what they want to work on or that parents know what their kids will want.
For 90% of people you just dont know what to study or work at. You have a vague idea but nothing too clear.
Parents setting high goals in careers for their kids that guarantee stable jobs is nothing bad, it doesnt mean their kids CANT choose another path. But the truth is that other path is going to be probably harder for them in the future and you will need the resilience to go against your parents advice to thrive in that life.
If you do a degree in philosophy because you like phillosophy but then you are 35 with no job, no money for a house or kids, no people hiring you maybe you should have done a different degree that enables you to do that. At 35 is fucking hard to switch careers. I have friends stuck working on shit like a bowling alleys and regretting it hard because their parents never motivated them to grit their teeth and finish their degree. Jobs dont have to be your passion. Hell I think for most people arent. That doesnt mean you dont like them.
To have a good education is important. Now he can make tones of money and every doors are open for him. Even if you don't like something do it cause you can learn a lot and take everything you can as knowledges to grown mature and evolve in this wolrd. You don't need to learn only what you love sometimes stuffs you dislike are useful to learn for the future. Your parents were right. Even if you don't like it now your education is good you can do anything.
Once your needs are met your time is more valuable than any amount if money.
Yep
The problem with parents is that they act like they know all the answers and think its easy once you graduate. It ain't easy... Smh. Especially if you suffer from mental health issues. Its getting more common for young people to lose their minds these days because they are truly lost and misguided.
They did give him good advice though since he now has the privilege to reflect on what makes him happy. They did their job as parents.
I love this comments because the level of truth!
100%
Exactly ….
May not be the best but they gave you the best answer they have arrived at.
Exactly
The worst part is trying to rewire your brain to think else wise . Its like betrayal of your parents but not really,
Not everyone was meant to go to college. So in other words pick up a trade.
Absolutely no one (not even your parents) can know what is best for you.....that's in your soul and you have to be brave enough to listen to it and follow it. Your path is only yours. ❤
True, your parents can help best they can hopefully but in the end even they can't replace you.
Getting into Harvard as an Asian is next level difficulty, they discriminate against them hardcore
THIS
Wait.. how many Asians get into Harvard. I thought they made up a significant portion of incoming freshmen.
Just tick the "Black" racial box. Write about getting shot while going to library to study because no money to pay for electricity at home. When interview comes just put on darken the skin and throw on an afro weave
He looks really sad and sound like he regrets a lot of things
I hope he find his happiness ❤
Makes triple the income u make by doing 10% of what u do. Nothing to feel sorry about lmao.😂😂😂
Your right sounds like his life was chosen for him....and he was told to love it lol.
@@fooball24H He got into harvard as an asian american, that’s next level difficulty. and money isn’t everything. Why do you think suicide rates are higher in Asian countries.
bro he got into Harvard as an ASIAN. Its gotta be out of the norm in some way
Wise words from a young guy on the right track to happiness.
Once I graduated from high school, it made me realize that I was already more educated than either of my parents and they genuinely couldn’t help me any further than that.
My parents just gaslit me 😂
You should return the favor. 😏
Dude they don’t have internet and social media back then. The good intention is still there as a parent regardless
I'm sorrt but raising a child well isn't just having good intentions, it's about actual competence as a parent in actually helping the child find meaning in they're life. And where in the video was it implied that the intentions of parents are anything other than good?
So true. You gotta find your own path and not the one your parents wanted for you.
Hard earned wisdom here! Thank you.
I simply want to be “happy”. If you can be happy with the basic needs. That’s all we need, but this society wants you to think otherwise….
No one is happy living paycheck to paycheck. Inflation is the reality. Very few people are happy living in the street
Same here went to Harvard for my dad, while in school being super focused on medicine- soon as I graduated Covid came as my first year out- then BOOM I got to get vaccinated - Now I’m FULLTIME sick my ear ring all day long and my dad is old- still asking me when I’m going back to school- like dude YOU GO- ur parents aren’t YOU. Don’t live your life for them.
They just want to make sure you won't have the same hardships they faced. Money is not everything, but having enough or more, will definitely make your life easier than the lack of it. When you have a safe career to fall back to, surely it won't be that much of a risk to try follow whatever makes you happy.
So relatable. All my parent always talk about is “Study Hard and live a good life”, but that so called “good life” is just working in a chair, earning money, but don’t have time to travel, get a girlfriend, or even hanging out with my friend
i want this dude to read me bedtime stories i love his voice
It’s every US Asian boy voice. 😂
@@resortpoint nah
“If I have seen further,” Isaac Newton wrote in a 1675 letter to fellow scientist Robert Hooke, “it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” We can see further than our parents because they put us on their shoulders.
Such an insightful comment! Def agree
That quote was used in a letter to mock at the recipient that Newton sent it to.
@@jacklan4103 Dont get it
When you think you’re the only Asian going through this…
The only thing my dearest Pa showed me every day what he would like was kindness, generosity and to treat everyone the same, something he did all his life as a doctor in Zambia, Zimbabwe, South Africa and the U.K.
He's honest about his experience.
I realized that it doesn't mean the older the person, the smarter they are. I saw this on my parents and relatives, they always act they know everything, but when you ask them what they know, they don't actually have knowledge about certain things in the world. So you better not take all of old people's suggestions about what you should do, what course you should take in college. Because when it's all done, you'll end up realizing you did things that you don't actually want, worse is you forgot you own potential and end up wasting lots of time building yourself because you keep chasing others people's expectations and dreams.
True
They put you on your right position. Thanks to their wings. ❤
I think your parent did a hella good job. I clicked this short because “I got into Harvard” title. At least they give you some directions and supports. Now that’s you older, of course you can choose your own way because now you know where you want to go. And with Harvard student title, it opens lots of doors
Exactly. Instead of being grateful, he chose to be an asshole
Gave him direction? If it's not what the child wants to do with they're life how is it direction? If his career in the end ended up not needing a Harvard scholarship how is that parents doing a good job? Considering the child is actually the one that did the studying? Now you're older you know were you want to go? What about all the people who knew what they wanted to do as a child and that is now their career they have zero regrets in.
@@Gemini530 Grateful for what exactly? You are both shallow beings definitely projecting what YOU want forgeting there are many people like mr who couldn't care less about being rich. I know money is your god, and anyone who doesn't worship money is a arsehole to you. Try asking your money to revive you from the dead in your grave.
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Sheesh, I feel really bad for the Harvard educated investment banker
I don't. I think education comes in more than one stripe ... and how smart is he really if he didn't figure out "the meaning of life" before completing Harvard????
Just saying....
I managed to get one of those dream jobs, and it turned out I didn't like it. I had to tell myself that it was worth it, cuz everyone was so impressed, and so I developed a shitty "I'm better than you" attitude. Then I finally realized I was miserable and left. I'm a broke student now, redirecting my life, and I've never been happier ❤
"I actually hate this" - that hit me
All that pencil tapping made him swole 😮
The world will never change, his parents understanding of it is spot on. Education, money, companionship, connections/networking, authority/power. My mom came from nothing so she told me to do the same as his parents said. As soon as I got there, I too realized that I wanted something different. Even though it’s different it still falls within those lines. I studied real estate after college made good money that founded other investments, found my soulmate made tons of connections that helped me with my projects. I was able to become completely independent and had the power to create my own schedule.
Yeah... Find your passion AFTER you secure your basic needs. His parents were right. Harvard will always pay off.
so you’re gonna spend years in school studying something you likely don’t like just to be “secure”? what’s the point of “finding your passion” afterwards if you’ve already gave your all?
Financially it may pay but hating your life because of it can't be fixed monetarily. There's other opportunities and options that may serve better without that extemt of sacrifice
Aiming for Harvard is prioritizing more wealth/social status than basic needs, including life outside of that.
@Padlily24 exactly. If you really have passions and dreams though, you'll not listen to any crap of any naysayer.
No, Harvard will NOT always pay off, it depends on a myriad of factors, it may be the career one ends up sticking with for life doesn't require a Harvard degree at all, life is far more complicated than that
“And never about combing my hair.”
Good for him, his soul speaks.
Absolutely love the conversations you’re having. This is so very much on point with the experiences many of us had growing up. Excellent conversation!! Keep up the great work! ❤
All those three things that you stated only meant that they want you to be successful and not have to worry about you when they pass away. So to me that's them doing the best that they can and what any other parent would want for their child if they were good parents that actually cared. Even though times are changing and are different than how our parents experienced it, they still just want the best for you if they are actually genuine
This guy seems like the type that will be super successful doing literally anything
This guy speaks on behalf of 90% of asians. Period. I feel you bro!!
What your parents did know prevented you from suffering the way they did and allowed you the freedom to now pave your own oath. Gratitude my brother.
Facts!
Right your parents don't know everything that's a fact but from 1 to 18 years old they know way more than you, you take what mom and dad taught you and you build on it and then teach your kids and they'll build on you it's the same way if you break your kid down in rare cases they'll get out and break the chain and treat their kids better but most are weak and will pass it on to their kids and break them down and it continues on my mom and dad don't know everything but what they have taught me I've built on I see my parents mistakes and my parents good deeds I throw out all the mistakes and keep only the good and build more good on top of that while also making mistakes that my future kids will not make
The problem is... for most people you have to go through all of that to know for sure if its for you or not. And by then, you've already worked so hard for it, it feels like a waste to just give it up.
So then you are on a path you didn’t choose and may not enjoy for the rest of your life? nah, life is too short
@@hehe41373 your right. All I'm saying is whether you chose your path, or your parents did, or whoever, you don't know what is the career path that's right for you until your doing it. Its not common people actually end up doing what "they were meant to do", cause they took so much time working to get to where they are.
Boy, be grateful that your parents kept you on the right path so you won’t be a poor adult.
People are saying it’s fine because ‘At least now he knows he doesn’t like it!’ as if he didn’t make sacrifices committing large amounts of time and energy on a dream that was never his.
As a mum of three, I’ve seen how the education system favours a certain type of smarts but not necessarily the sort that gives you good success. Existing outside of those parameters and thriving, living life and not having your life leave from u… success has many definitions. You find the one that suits u, u find the off beaten path for it, and u pursue it with passion. Love what u do and u will never feel like you’re working… ♥️
Old advice, but good ... love what you do, and you will never feel like you are working.
He is a really fine man🙂
So true. People basically want to do what excites them and enjoy. Not be just rich. But have loads of friends and enjoy with them.
You are right... 100%
However, they were also right to push you. You have a good education now AND you are STILL YOUNG. You figured this out. One of the greatest threats as a working person is we don't know how to invest our income because everyone is trying to screw us. You know how to make your money make more money. Am I right? So that is an important component to living comfortable and the rest you can figure out. You seem upbeat and motivated... That's a win in my book. Wish you all the best
And guess what youre completely fine and youre life is better than 99.99% of people thanks to your dad.. the happiness part you can get it later... but still your dad put you in the best position... it might be hard but still huge RESPECT for fathers like that
Most important he got the sleeper built. 🗿
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 congrats on your generosity and humility
at least your father was involved in teaching you good values. don't take it for granted.
They gave him a good foundation tho… regardless if he hates it or not .. now he can build his own tower.
This a big problem in immigrant families that are poor. They make a plan for their children’s lives with out having understanding about how things actually work.
Sounds like it wasn’t everything he wanted, it was everything his parents wanted. Big difference
As parent, I always told my kids - do what you like to do and ensure what you do, can provide enough income to survive. That's enough to live happily.
Basically every asian dad.
I'm 26 and more and more I'm realizing how my parents were just winging it the whole time. They still are! There's still a lot they do not know, things they are afraid of, and things that they might never experience, and that's okay. I'm proud of them seeing how they've handled things especially now that I'm around their age when they started having a family.
yo the investment banking part... i think we have the same dad 😂
Well, better than not going to Harvard. He's still a lot better in terms of having resources, skills and tools because of it. His parents may not be 100% correct but they're not wrong and raised him very well. It's all about having virtues, responsibilities and getting used to working hard.
Please don't take this video as a way to disprove your parents. Just because you don't agree or like what your parents tell you, doesn't mean they're wrong.
Well I would understand this guy at 23 you have backup and no responsibility. Yeah they may not be necessarily right in helping you in the best way
Being so narrow isn’t the best idea. Perhaps he was more suited to a school like MIT or Stanford, or even perhaps Oxford or West Point. Saying Harvard or Die leaves a lot of potential upside on the table.
Exactly. A lot of kids are ungrateful assholes, like this one. His mom should have aborted him. That's why I refuse to have kids. I tell my friends not to sacrifice a lot for their kids because most kids are ungrateful, like this one. Couples should use their hard earned money to enjoy life, not to spend it on ungrateful kids. Just send them to regular schools. If they want a better school, make them work for it and make sure to kick them out of your house when they turn 18. Some of them can be nasty parasites.
Right!
Because your parents make their best to supply you all the resources they can earn to help you achieve where you are now instead of using on themselves.
So that they don’t have the chance or opportunity to have themselves the same educational resources as you can have.
We all should only thank our parents ,
and find a way out on our own.
@@yingpiccola a