Hypervigilance and How to Overcome It

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 26 сер 2024
  • Hypervigilance is a term psychologists use to refer to those among us who are locked into a state of almost continuous wariness, rumination and compulsive anxiety. By understanding more about the condition, we can take steps to mitigate its worst effects, gradually moving ourselves from hyper to more ordinary varieties of vigilance.
    Enjoying our UA-cam videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: t.ly/aF35j
    Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: t.ly/nJaQ6
    FURTHER READING
    You can read more on this and other subjects here: bit.ly/2wopA89
    “We would not have been able to survive so long if we were not able, at points, to get very worried indeed; if we didn’t possess a native genius for flooding our minds, at astonishing speed, with a cocktail of the most intense and panicky hormones our bodies can secrete...”
    MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
    Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
    bit.ly/TSOLself
    SOCIAL MEDIA
    Feel free to follow us at the links below:
    Facebook: / theschooloflifelondon
    X: / theschooloflife
    Instagram: / theschooloflifelondon
    CREDITS
    Produced in collaboration with:
    Tomás Pichardo-Espaillat
    tomatico.net/

КОМЕНТАРІ • 690

  • @sho.me.spring53
    @sho.me.spring53 6 років тому +1647

    I have PTSD and one of the symptoms is hypervigilance. The best way I could explain it to people is like when you see a spider in your room and then it disappears and you have no idea where it is, so you have that extremely uneasy feeling and are super jumpy and unable to relax/feel safe. Hypervigilance is like that, but all the time over everything.

    • @hyperspacejester7377
      @hyperspacejester7377 6 років тому +12

      Have you seen the recent studies using psychedelics to treat PTSD?

    • @sho.me.spring53
      @sho.me.spring53 6 років тому +31

      @@hyperspacejester7377 yeah I've microdosed with mushrooms and LSD many times in the past. I microdose when I'm really triggered and locked up in my trigger. It helps me emotionally unlock a little bit so I can take an objective step back and look at my situation from a more rational standpoint.

    • @hyperspacejester7377
      @hyperspacejester7377 6 років тому +17

      Good to hear/read... it's disconcerting to see a lot of people suffering unnecessarily just because of the stigma surrounding psychedelics!

    • @bulletsfordinner8307
      @bulletsfordinner8307 6 років тому +1

      Sho Yep! So me! 😥

    • @bulletsfordinner8307
      @bulletsfordinner8307 6 років тому +1

      Hyperspace Jester what about those studies? Are they safe?

  • @AbSeb
    @AbSeb 6 років тому +644

    Thanks Dad.

  • @BethanyHarbaugh
    @BethanyHarbaugh 5 років тому +629

    I have super high hypervigilance, more than my therapist has really seen in a lot of people. It came from having to grow up in a home where I had to think of everyone else before myself. We were a stressed out family due to one child having mental illness early on, and I became the 'good child' to ease the strain. I became hypervigilant in detecting people's emotions and doing whatever possible to prevent hurt and ensure happiness...to the point that I now feel guilt over resting or needing help because of my physical disabilities. I'm working with a therapist to learn how to actually relax, and it's slowly getting there. It'll take a while to undo a lifetime's worth of trauma.

    • @joseferreira3576
      @joseferreira3576 3 роки тому +13

      You got this

    • @ashleysusanne5044
      @ashleysusanne5044 3 роки тому +25

      I relate to this so much I came from a toxic religion house hold where I was always doing something to ensure no one would get upset yes I have this feeling in my stomach 24/7 like I’m on alert and I don’t know how to relax but I’m getting better I’m in a much healthier household now and I’m forever grateful for my aunt and uncle for helping me

    • @diamondgarcia9409
      @diamondgarcia9409 3 роки тому +3

      Same

    • @Kraftartz
      @Kraftartz 2 роки тому +5

      Wow same, to the tea. You're not alone 💖

    • @annabellacrewe8858
      @annabellacrewe8858 2 роки тому +2

      Thank You for letting us know about how childhood can make us suffer in adulthood - sometimes for the rest of our lives. Fortunately, nowadays it has become much more known to people, that the reason IS childhood conditions for all of us - and that we can do something to stop our suffering, though it takes a lot of time and Hard work....The other side of the coin so to speak, is that it has not become normal like going to the doctors, to go to a psychologist or therapist - because f.ex here in Denmark it STILL cost a lot of money ! Some people in special situations at work.or
      traumatic accidents and so on, can get up to 10 hours of
      psychotherpy ! And I know from own experience, it is never quite enough ! It is STILL not to easy to talk about these aspects of human life amongst people.
      But I am happy for You, that You were able to do something for Yourself.Hoping You are well and present🙏🌻🐦

  • @Jesus_is_Lord1515
    @Jesus_is_Lord1515 6 років тому +928

    "We can worry when we need to, not just because we exist"
    -School of life

    • @monishk6561
      @monishk6561 6 років тому +11

      This really touched me .. on a deep personal level

    • @spoobforce
      @spoobforce 6 років тому +8

      easier said then done

    • @DarkMoonDroid
      @DarkMoonDroid 5 років тому

      IKR?
      🤔

    • @greenbird777
      @greenbird777 5 років тому +3

      This one thought was a huge revelation for me. It never occurred to me that worry could be a temporary state. Being alive & being afraid all the time seemed like the same thing to me.

    • @indridcold8433
      @indridcold8433 4 роки тому +4

      The single best way to avoid worrying and stress is very simple. Simply stay away from other people. The single biggest source of stress and worry are other people in your life. Simply delete everyone from your life and you would not believe how little you will worry and how little stress your life will have. I did this in 2000. My life is very stress free and worry free. Yes, there is loneliness but that is a very mild emotion when compared with stress and worry. Also, the emotions humans can inflict upon us can be cripplingly horrible. Loneliness will never cripple you. Loneliness is the lesser of the two evils by far. I have lived socially isolated since 8 August 2000. I have very little stress and worry in my life.

  • @joelarama
    @joelarama 5 років тому +53

    I’m crying. It’s me, all about me and now I have answers. I feel hopeful again. Thank you, thank you.

  • @Outlawsrevenge1020
    @Outlawsrevenge1020 2 роки тому +92

    I was emotionally abused as a child, by one of my parents. The other parent was extremely kind and loving and made me feel safe. I have PTSD and I still get flashbacks. For me hypervigilence is waking up in a panic from a deep sleep because I heard a loud noise outside, and I can't stop shaking. I'm 35 years old and I don't feel safe ever. I feel like something is always going to come along and pull the rug out from under me and tear my life apart. But I'm beginning to have the confidence that whatever comes along I can handle. Goodluck and sleep well.

    • @javidking63
      @javidking63 Рік тому +1

      hope you doing fine these dayz. :)

    • @smughal2062
      @smughal2062 Рік тому +1

      hi its me

    • @tamsindelaharpe1568
      @tamsindelaharpe1568 10 місяців тому +2

      I relate so strongly to this. The feeling that something terrible is about to happen can be crippling. I'm in bed right now sick with fear and nothing has really happened yet.

    • @roseXevans
      @roseXevans 3 місяці тому

      I’m sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that, and you still don’t deserve to feel like that. I truly hope one day you can be at peace

  • @supervincent_
    @supervincent_ 3 роки тому +218

    Hypervigilance gets the best of me. I live alone in my unit, and whenever I hear a strange noise like a scratch or thump, I feel like someone's gonna murder me. another case is when I hear people laughing or talking loudly, I feel like it's about me being up to no good. Also, I have a compulsive habit of checking the outside of my house from the windows, esp. at night to check if there's a terrorist or something. funny, right? but it's true.

    • @user-yt2xv1gs7l
      @user-yt2xv1gs7l 2 роки тому +10

      Same about the laughing loudly stuff 🤣,

    • @kimlec3592
      @kimlec3592 2 роки тому +16

      @ John Vincent : no. not funny. it's traumatic experiences in either your recent ordistant past. it is horrendous. many of us live with this if we have bad friends or family.

    • @jamielynngallegos9196
      @jamielynngallegos9196 2 роки тому +8

      OH MY GOSH... THIS IS WHAT I DO...THIS IS HYPERVIGILANCE ? I ALSO DO THIS REGARDING MY SON WHEN I CAN'T REACH HIM RIGHT AWAY ‼️ WOW...I LITERALLY CAN NEVER RELAX ASIDE FROM WHEN I READ MY BIBLE AND TALK TO MY LORD JESUS... OTHERWISE IT'S CONSTANT... EVEN GET NERVOUS BEFORE WORK....GOD BLESS YOU 🙏

    • @sirdaevyl
      @sirdaevyl Рік тому +3

      I have the exact same thing about being murdered or rather a break in happening. I get up atleast 3 times and check downstairs. I can only sleep is I literally just collapse in bed….

    • @impoppy9145
      @impoppy9145 Рік тому +2

      This you described is it really "hypervigilance"? I think " paranoia " is the right word for such things.

  • @ripplecatproductions3373
    @ripplecatproductions3373 6 років тому +221

    Please thank the animators that was amazing. It enhanced what was being said beautifully and was so fluid and perpetual. To even come up with a concept to show "worry" visually let alone execute, and for it to look sooo simple. Hats off xxxx

  • @LaTaeviaTanae
    @LaTaeviaTanae 2 роки тому +83

    I literally called my fiancé home from work because I thought someone was breaking in our apartment. I’m 19 and i was abused almost my whole life. I just found this video and it made me cry. Thank you so much for making me feel like I’m not alone.

  • @Luxbecca
    @Luxbecca 5 років тому +72

    It is so incredible. School of Life always manages to put my deepest feelings into words. I didn't know hypervigilancy even existed, but it sounds so much how I feel. Especially the first part. Waking up terrified, spending the whole day in toned down dread and it being so exhausting you wish for all of it to just be... Over. Thank you, School of Life. Finally I at least have a name. And giving the monster a face helps in the first steps of getting better...

  • @salazars.4123
    @salazars.4123 6 років тому +214

    Many people joke about this, or misunderstand this as "anxiety". Hypervigilance is a bit more dreadful as it is often linked to certain mental disorders and is only a symptom of something far more complex and hard to understand.

  • @eliskawilliams
    @eliskawilliams 6 років тому +55

    i would love a video about a fear of “growing up.” your target audience is most likely made up of adults, but this would help any teenagers like me. i have intense fears about living a life which i sustain for myself, and giving away my already minimal autonomy in an endless persuit of working until i die.

    • @tasyavoss1577
      @tasyavoss1577 2 роки тому

      Hell's yeah

    • @jessicasabatini4904
      @jessicasabatini4904 2 роки тому +1

      That is an excellent suggestion

    • @ladymuck2
      @ladymuck2 Рік тому +3

      Find a purpose in life. Something you really care about, something that makes you feel valued and that you would be happy doing even if you were not paid. Then channel your energy into doing that to the best of your ability. That way your adult life will have meaning.

    • @jamescheddar4896
      @jamescheddar4896 Рік тому

      There's no cure for that it just sucks

  • @yahyaouladaouid2214
    @yahyaouladaouid2214 2 роки тому +14

    I have lived with hypervigilance for the past five years of my life and I can say that it is both a blessing and a curse, a curse in the sense that my exaggerated awareness helps me be more attentive in my professional domain as I tend to grasp upon every detail of my work, but in the destructive sense, I am in constant evaluation of my behavior and speech, the thing which restrains me from being totally natural. I think that hypervigilance as ptsd is one of the worst traumatic repercussions possible because when nothing feels worse than having your own self and nature repressed!

  • @unleashingpotential-psycho9433
    @unleashingpotential-psycho9433 6 років тому +135

    Great point about our need to forgive ourselves! I think one of the hardest things to do in life is to forgive ourself and to forgive others for what has been done. The thing though is that we must forgive in order to be able to move on with our own lives.

    • @grambo4436
      @grambo4436 6 років тому +10

      Yes we can forgive ourselves. But I may disagree! Sometimes that there are those who hurt you since childhood that deserve no forgiveness at all. Even at there time of death it's best to express that pain and anger on the many things what this person has done to you. It's like some sort of relief. It's okay to forget but not forgive the one who damaged you.

    • @MomusFilms
      @MomusFilms 6 років тому +5

      I think your point is valid and we needn't "forgive" anyone who doesn't deserve it. Yet it's VERY important that we find a way to extinguish the coal we carry in our hearts that burns us fresh daily from the agony of the memory. Letting go of anger doesn't mean forgiveness or forgetting; but it's a crucial part of ending the pain horrible people have left us carrying so long after they themselves have left the scene. It's right to let go of such lingering torment...it's not always easy and we owe ourselves such peace by any therapeutic means necessary.

    • @SusanHopkinson
      @SusanHopkinson 6 років тому +7

      Josaphat Pineda forgiveness is not the same as condoning what happened. Forgiveness is for your own peace of mind. As long as you carry the anger and suffering you are likelier to project it onto another, just like the original person was acting from a place of suffering. The cycle has to end or the suffering continues, and as long as there is no forgiveness you remain a victim of that person or incident, and give your energy and power over to it. I hope you find healing 🙏🏻

    • @mrmr5208
      @mrmr5208 4 роки тому +2

      @@SusanHopkinson Doesn't this sound good? Now if only someone could disclose the miraculous means through which one can actually do what is being described... Just imagine how many people would benefit if this magical knowledge would be shared by whoever purportedly holds it...yet I keep getting the old trope that the traumatized hypervigilant person is to blame for his/her failure to magically heal, that they actually enjoy suffering (how cruel can people be?), etc.

    • @UnsterblicheKonig
      @UnsterblicheKonig 3 роки тому +1

      @@mandyg9119 I will figure out who wrote that awful comment.

  • @shaeholden1743
    @shaeholden1743 2 роки тому +22

    This was so helpful. I'm learning to be kind to myself after a diagnosis of CPTSD from narcissistic abuse. Thank you for this information.

  • @MrMochiDochi
    @MrMochiDochi 6 років тому +31

    love it, this speaks to me on a personal level. “we can worry when we need to, not just because we exist”

  • @frankwess7235
    @frankwess7235 5 років тому +14

    I had extreme hypervigilance but now it's mild 90% of the time because I've been taking medication. I tried everything from extreme exercise, eatting well sleeping well and nothing worked, but now I'm taking Zoloft. It's melow and I love it.

  • @avalonmist254
    @avalonmist254 4 роки тому +19

    Being hypervigelant at this time on the planet add society isolating and me being alone constantly. That is a normal stance to take I'm not paranoid I'm cautious. Point: anyone feeling this way don't shame yourself instead managing the potential for danger and attempting to basically fend for yourself with disciplining oneself to at least sleep! Is a worthy goal

  • @cynthiajohnson9412
    @cynthiajohnson9412 6 років тому +56

    I guess at some point I just broke. And from that point on I said, fuck it! Come what may it can't be worse than living in perpetual fear. So I just decided, as an experiment, to just give up the fear. Live the way I want to live and deal with whatever comes as best I can. So far so good. As I said, realizing that nothing is worse than constant, gnawing, soul-sucking anxiety is very freeing!

    • @rosamia4
      @rosamia4 2 роки тому +6

      "just give up the fear." i will try to do this because im so tired and i cant even rest bc of hypervigilance things. just give up fear and anger about my narcissist mom. yes. i hope i can do is

    • @tylerslynes599
      @tylerslynes599 Рік тому +1

      Please help me with this I’m struggling so bad to beat this 😢

    • @truth294
      @truth294 Рік тому

      I'm tired of living in fear too

    • @jmc8076
      @jmc8076 Рік тому

      @@tylerslynes599
      We’re all diff. You may need more time and diff path. Millions on the path w/you all ages and walks of life. Some just hide it. Baby steps can lead to health. Try mediation (under rated), write out feelings and toss paper or delete file, use bedtime stories for grownups on YT (just search) and hypnosis videos (try Michael Sealy) to fall asleep. Even in sleep words/music still work. Set up playlist. Practice being aware of what you feel as you feel it (curious vs judgement or analysis), sit with it for a bit then find way to change the msg to know your safe incl telling yourself ‘in this moment I’m safe’ with all senses to be present now vs the past. Be patient yourself and say ‘hey I did it’ for sml victories. Going back steps just temp. Hope any of this helps. Never give up on you. Peace and health. ✌️

    • @moralebooster8437
      @moralebooster8437 3 місяці тому +1

      There is freedom in surrender 💜 very brave

  • @nishanabul1427
    @nishanabul1427 3 роки тому +2

    This man who is narrating has no idea how soothing his words wisdom and voice are !!

  • @Thedreamer20015
    @Thedreamer20015 Рік тому +11

    I just recently developed this and only a week of this makes me just empty and weak now. I barely sleep but this does make me feel a bit better, I just want to start feeling normal again.

    • @candlesstaylit3964
      @candlesstaylit3964 Рік тому

      Hope ur doing ok ive been dealing with this for 3 years now no help or therapy, and it does get worse everyday, you need to get help and maybe medication, i wish i had that now. My life has done an enitre 180, i was always just confused at my differences from everyone else, untill i met my girlfriend 3 years ago. Ever since ive chose to make sure her and i stay together, but thats been way harder than it should be, i live every moment in fear of loosing her and i probably will lose her and the two kids we have together, i have no faith in finding aid. Ive tried so hard to find someone to care and take it serious but no one does, you have time to make that choice still. I sincerely hope you do.

  • @Brenda-uf8pk
    @Brenda-uf8pk 6 років тому +8

    Something in need to work on. This hypervigilence is exhausting I ever knew I was panicked all the time but now I can least be aware of it. So helpful

  • @mustacheofgold6846
    @mustacheofgold6846 2 роки тому +18

    After years of PTSD, I ended up on a position where I felt a sense of dread/doom all the time. Going as far as to kill my appreciating for life, making it feel like life is all about surviving with no reward. Luckily, medication made it a lot more bearable and therapy helped. Now, the problem isn't fixed but It's notably improved and I feel genuine hope to get better again.

    • @Moesie
      @Moesie Рік тому

      U got 9 months further in life.
      How are u is it fixed?
      Because i go true this and tell me what i can expect or should do
      I got to my first theraphy session

    • @englahimla
      @englahimla Рік тому

      @@Moesie I've had therapy for about 3-4 years, and this last year when I finally gave in and decided to try the antidepressants they recommended, life has gotten so much easier! It not only helped ease my depression and take away that constant dark cloud of bad feelings, but also really helped make my anxiety so much less!

    • @Moesie
      @Moesie Рік тому +1

      @@englahimla cpd oil helps with anxiety and panic
      But i'd be carefull with antidepressent
      If doesnt fix only shots down temporarly ur feelings
      Meditation, nature, clean sleep excsrsize diet helps it
      Reasing qatching comedy yoga
      Cold shoqer coloring books
      Plants in ur room

    • @englahimla
      @englahimla Рік тому +1

      @@Moesie Ah, no, the antidepressants help balance out the chemical imbalance in my brain that was a big part of my depression! I don't think we're speaking of the same type of medicine? But absolutely, healthy lifestyle choices and making your surroundings more healthy is great advice!

    • @Adanosiam
      @Adanosiam Рік тому

      @@Moesie thank you so much! Such a natural and possitive way of life.

  • @stephlikescats9522
    @stephlikescats9522 6 років тому +17

    My anxieties are just that. I have bad sleep, I have horrible digestive issues, and I cannot touch others. Wow.

    • @soniaflores3233
      @soniaflores3233 6 років тому +2

      stephlikescats same. I’ve spent years like this

    • @julietabrego7626
      @julietabrego7626 6 років тому +2

      I just got like this because of a co-worker. I'm looking for a different place to work. ~3 hours sleep a night, lost appetite & 7 pounds & everything startles me. I've never experienced this before. I feel like a stranger to my body & mind.

  • @MosesEmmet
    @MosesEmmet 6 років тому +77

    I like what you said about finding others to share our fears and anxieties with in order to reduce the burden of own own hyper vigilance. Now the only question is who do you trust to share your vulnerabilities with?

    • @akritiarora1904
      @akritiarora1904 6 років тому +11

      Moses Emmet nobody..people use your weaknesses and vulnerabilities against you

    • @josefsvec5236
      @josefsvec5236 6 років тому +2

      someone's been hurt here i see,that's okey,not everyone is like that :) but if you've lived through something like that it's understandable of you to think so

    • @mjnoon3609
      @mjnoon3609 6 років тому +9

      Your cat

    • @MosesEmmet
      @MosesEmmet 6 років тому +4

      Your local memeboi indeed I have. I speak from experience a lot on my channel about how to build healthy long term relationships... so making mistakes isn’t all bad as long as you can learn and grow from em.

    • @MosesEmmet
      @MosesEmmet 6 років тому +1

      Mjnoon 360 I really love cats, but my wife is allergic to em... time to get rid of the wife then?

  • @dend1
    @dend1 3 роки тому +12

    Pandemic has had me hypervigilant for nearly a year and it's been exhausting

  • @amv062184
    @amv062184 6 років тому +178

    When you have PTSD, you are always hypervigilant.

    • @jeanisabelle
      @jeanisabelle 6 років тому +10

      You're right. I wish it was easy to unworry. Even after months of therapy, I'll likely worry myself to death.

    • @amv062184
      @amv062184 6 років тому +3

      @@jeanisabelle Use your anger to fight the demon. Anger is power, fear is weakness.

    • @amv062184
      @amv062184 6 років тому +1

      @I'mposs ible actually, it is common.

    • @abi7183
      @abi7183 6 років тому +4

      I'mposs ible Very common. It's the 'fight' aspect of the fight, flight or freeze response

    • @jeanisabelle
      @jeanisabelle 6 років тому +1

      It may be. I wouldn't be surprised. I feel the same way too especially when I'm having extreme anxiety attacks. Have you sought counselling? It's helped me a bit, but I realized I won't be completely "cured" if I don't learn to consistently unworry from the inside. It's been quite the challenge.

  • @mattk6182
    @mattk6182 3 роки тому +2

    great to hear people open up about a VERY prevalent issue that plagues SO MANY PEOPLE..including myself. we hurt together, we get better together.

  • @siddsen95
    @siddsen95 6 років тому +4

    Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
    This channel is hope.

  • @IndianaJenkins615
    @IndianaJenkins615 2 роки тому +6

    I was 12yrs old and I just transferred to a new school for 8th grade. I was constantly harrassed and humiliated in public because I didn't act like them. They thought I was too proper, a teacher's pet. Come 9th grade, I still held on to feelings of anger towards those that tormented me, I became anti-social, distrusting and rude towards my tormentors and other new people because I thought they were enemies. I wouldn't realize until I was older that a lot of classmates I was rude towards, we're never trying to hurt me. Its been 8yrs since high school, I often feel ashamed that I ruined many potential friendships and I feel ashamed that I held on to 8th grade grudges for so long. When public humilation is burnt into your mind and flares up at various random moments, it can be hard to let it go.

  • @alandpal79
    @alandpal79 5 років тому +6

    I'm so happy I learned about the School of Life. I can't tell you all how much your articles and videos have helped me. At times your works have given me insight into states of mind I find so mysterious and confounding. Other times they've provided just the slightest bit of solace on a panicky day. You all do great work. I just wish you had a school in the northeastern US. Bless you

  • @shutitdown656
    @shutitdown656 6 років тому +5

    GOOD MORNING!!! I just woke up and now watching this at 4 a.m.

  • @CDRClarisse
    @CDRClarisse 6 років тому +34

    CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!!!! -Mad-Eye Moody

  • @rea8585
    @rea8585 6 років тому +39

    That is totally happening to me when I am watching movies: I keep on waiting for something bad to happen so I can't even enjoy the film itself. It is sooooo annoying! And since I try to watch movies that are not the predictable Hollywood style, it is even harder to relax and enjoy, I am too anxious for something bad to happen.
    Anyone else like that out there? :)

    • @ShivamPandey-nj8pu
      @ShivamPandey-nj8pu 6 років тому

      Yeah just can't watch Korean psychological thriller with light off

    • @just1desi
      @just1desi 6 років тому +1

      I do that with books. Not movies

    • @yojishinkawa378
      @yojishinkawa378 2 роки тому

      I annoy my wife because I always get so over the top pissed off when movies show cops abusing their power, women being sexually exploited, or children being hurt. So I don't know if it's helpful, but you're not the only one.

  • @user-ed5ke8mt7s
    @user-ed5ke8mt7s 3 роки тому +2

    I've never felt more understood

  • @helloitsmiih7
    @helloitsmiih7 3 роки тому +3

    This was so specific, i'm crying right now... Thank you, i feel loved

  • @gulnar122
    @gulnar122 2 роки тому +2

    big thanks to my mom and dad

  • @tomasfernandes4538
    @tomasfernandes4538 Рік тому +1

    Finally, i get it, the state that haunted me for years to this day ,this life jorney for inner peace seems to look more bearable each day

  • @jorrenspit6793
    @jorrenspit6793 6 років тому +13

    I've been in this state for almost a year and especially the being awake one at 4 am. It was horrible, i didn't know what to do, at one point I was even afraid to go to bed because I would have a dream about my ex at 4 am and not being able to get back to sleep again. Thankfully the worst is over now and I'm sleeping much better now. And feeling much better about my life.
    I want to share my story because when i was in this state i desperately wanted a way to handle it and know if other people were having such problems as well. So if your reading this, know that it can be overcome, that you can live with it even if it is only partly. Keep on going in life even if you don't want to. Go to the gym and lift wheigts, using a sleeping mask during sleeping helped me a lot as well. And if you cant bare it anymore, you can use sleeping pils once in a while to have a good nights rest. And talk with people you can trust! Hang in there!

  • @BijanIzadi
    @BijanIzadi Рік тому +6

    Wow, I’ve had hyper-vigilance pretty much always up until fairly recently… thank you for this video

  • @misstery5942
    @misstery5942 5 років тому +3

    I can NEVER relax!. When I had anasthetic I felt rescued and so relieved to drift away I didn't want to wake up again and was so depressed that o woke up... that was the most rest I felt

  • @vincentphilippart4669
    @vincentphilippart4669 3 роки тому +1

    I never understood why I couldn't touch others, especially my parents. This is a big break for me. Thanks a lot

  • @fuzzydownham
    @fuzzydownham 6 років тому +5

    Oh my goodness... I've never heard anyone explain it. This is the answer i have looked for, for so long. Thank you, again.

    • @vincentphilippart4669
      @vincentphilippart4669 3 роки тому

      Same. 15 therapists and none of them proved as useful as this 5 min video.

  • @lijmoo
    @lijmoo 6 років тому +5

    "We can learn the skill of being calm, not through special teas and slow breathing," ❤️

  • @piggytrombone
    @piggytrombone 5 років тому +4

    thank you making me feel normal

  • @daisygirl1217
    @daisygirl1217 6 років тому +19

    Thank you for understanding...

  • @miriambucholtz9315
    @miriambucholtz9315 6 років тому +7

    Interesting. All of those reasons for hypervigilance that you mentioned have happened to me in one way or another. The last one, being institutionalized, was the last straw that actually ended up doing away with my ability to even feel fear for almost twenty years. While some of it finally came back, the anxieties that once plagued me constantly now no longer have any influence on me. I can even get up in front of a crowd of strangers and give a speech off the top of my head, if necessary. If I had any classic anxiety dreams (such as being chased) I came up with solutions during the dream itself and never had it again. I would love to know exactly how I managed to pull plugs on an emotion as primal as fear. As they say, "If you could bottle that, you'd be rich". The important thing is, though, to remember what it's prudent to respect even if you can't feel fear.

  • @Dayglodaydreams
    @Dayglodaydreams 6 років тому +2

    I've actually found slow breathing and calm thinking does wonders.

  • @natureshorts6657
    @natureshorts6657 6 років тому +6

    Good video. One of the antidotes to hypervigilance is realize you're not a weak child or youth anymore. You're an adult! (Say "I'm not a little kid anymore! I'm an adult!"). And become a capable and competent adult. If you experienced danger or extreme anger, abandonment early in life, that is unfair and not your fault. You should look at it as having to learn a lesson earlier in life than most and see it almost like secret knowledge that you have that most people do not. Suffering is noble. You have seen the darker sides of life. Understand what happened to you and why as completely as you possibly can and then form a plan for how you would deal with it now. Do that, and you'll be much better off. I can promise you that.

  • @internetsales7262
    @internetsales7262 5 років тому +5

    "Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but you get nowhere doing it"

  • @bodnotbod
    @bodnotbod 6 років тому +7

    Great video. The only small part I didn't like was the idea that we should accept that our anxieties "might knock us out for a month". For a great many people they have no choice but to endure, especially for employment reasons. Many employers wouldn't give an employee the opportunity to be knocked out for a month. And if you lose your job in the UK now, the resultant anxiety from how the Department of Work and Pensions treats you will likely put into perspective any of the worries you had before you became unemployed. In fact being under the regime of the DWP means that hypervigilance would be justified, because the DWP will victimise you.

  • @smlmathieu0
    @smlmathieu0 Рік тому +17

    I think this is what I get when I’m around a women I don’t want to lose. I tried to think back to its roots and I think it’s from being broken up with for the first time. Whenever I’m around that trigger it causes me to be hyper vigilant and super aware to where my brain Fogs up and I can’t really think straight because I’m thinking so much about doing the right thing and what my partners thinking and probably not trying to lose them so I can’t just relax around them. Idk which came first but as soon as I felt anxiety strip me of my abilities it made me be fearful of showing that weakness. Which has brought me down mentally but I feel it’s a combination that sucks in a relationship it’s difficult for me to just chill because I’m always in that state. I can’t be myself because I’m not relaxed and it’s like they aren’t seeing the “real” me so I think about what the “real” me would do and it’s like a loss of identity when I get in this state idk just pray for me idk what I have but it sucks and I’m trying to get out of it because I want to connect the best way I can with my son without being like this. We got this being vulnerable is strong

    • @jamescheddar4896
      @jamescheddar4896 Рік тому

      keep an eye on yourself. it sounds like you might be prone to stalking or something. this isn't an accusation, just advice

    • @James-ei3jt
      @James-ei3jt Рік тому

      We’re in the exact same boat. Overthinking and always blaming myself in relationships with girls. Please let me know how you’re doing and what is helping, if anything.

  • @swayp5715
    @swayp5715 6 років тому +38

    God bless you guys......

  • @EmsEms81
    @EmsEms81 Рік тому +1

    Fight, flight, freeze. The physiological response to a threat. Hyper-vigilance , the physiological response to anticipating a threat before, during or after an event preparing you to fly, fight or freeze. Trouble is there is no threat so you can’t get past it and wind it down.
    I never understood trauma until I lived it.

    • @jocsanschray007
      @jocsanschray007 7 місяців тому

      When do u know a threat is real or not? Do u also have that paranoia?

  • @Peacemakerblue
    @Peacemakerblue 5 років тому +9

    Why as it blocked my memories
    I feel like I’m stuck in the present moment with no memories, knowledge or thoughts

    • @user-ed5ke8mt7s
      @user-ed5ke8mt7s 3 роки тому

      Same. Thankfully I have my sister to jog my memories of my childhood and some pictures... Reading has become my absolute vice... perhaps for this reason. At least we can absorb new information

  • @keyannalee2432
    @keyannalee2432 2 роки тому +2

    With a pretty voice and artwork, he is basically saying he doesn't know how to handle it except by talking to someone you trust, remind people if our boundaries and sleep when you can

  • @cyberfloof
    @cyberfloof 2 роки тому +1

    Who ever did the reading for this had a very comforting voice

  • @alineuwiragiye7704
    @alineuwiragiye7704 6 років тому +17

    I fall in love with a guy that leaded me on for year. I found out all his friend were making fun of me. So my selfesteem is so down. I feel so disappointed in myself. all i think about is all the thing that is wrong with me. Like my skin color, my weight. My height. I wish you can make a video that can help me. I will love you forever mr. Bottom. Thank you.

    • @godsson956
      @godsson956 4 роки тому +3

      Love yourself like u love other accept everything about u ...n fall in love with your self

    • @jasonayres
      @jasonayres 3 роки тому +1

      I had an experience like this at a workplace where I thought everyone was like family.
      Some staff members were spreading false rumours and, worse, a friend I confided in made a fool of me behind my back.
      I was hypervigilent for a while. I was suspicious of people.
      It was quite cruel.
      I was young and gullible.
      I have learned how to trust again and move on.
      One of my favourite lyrics of a song, from a few years ago :
      "Yesterday's a closing door.
      You don't live there anymore."

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 3 роки тому +3

      The question is not what is wrong with you but what is wrong with them. That guy and his friends have some serious issues. Try to find some decent, sincere people to hang out with.

  • @JimmyCelestica
    @JimmyCelestica 3 роки тому +1

    all this did was make me cry more cuz it never gets better

  • @75hilmar
    @75hilmar 3 роки тому +1

    The visual representation in the video is pure amazing artwork

  • @dzikrinasaira3475
    @dzikrinasaira3475 5 років тому +9

    This video came up while I was having conversation about me being a control freak. Ok universe I got it. I gotta chill a litle bit :)

  • @folasko5120
    @folasko5120 6 років тому +1

    Been smoking heavily and did a binge-drinking session the other day. Been smoking weed almost everyday. I just can't handle myself too well. This video is the story of my life.

  • @DiDi-xr1dd
    @DiDi-xr1dd 3 роки тому +2

    I suffer from complex PTSD. the state of constant hipervigilance is absolutely draining. For me it feels like I'm constantly in the presence of highly aggressive person, who throws sh*t around the room and I can't stop but feel like i'm next and my life is in danger.

  • @misstery5942
    @misstery5942 5 років тому +15

    I feel panicked and alarmed every minute of my existence... it makes me want to die

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 3 роки тому +3

      Hi Miss Tery, here is a simple exercise. 1 pay attention to your breathing as it comes gently in and out. 2 pay attention to the air around the middle of your body 3 listen to the sounds which are far away. 4 repeat these steps. Gradually your thoughts will calm down. Enjoy gently letting a little calm come to you. Just allow as much calm as is comfortable for you. You may also like the Calm App.

    • @akashjohun247
      @akashjohun247 3 роки тому +1

      @@tracesprite6078 I need your help dude..please dm me on instagram _the_revolt

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 3 роки тому

      @@akashjohun247 Hi Akash, is it possible for us to talk here. I'm not on Instagram and am not sure I could even put myself on it???

  • @corinnemuir1542
    @corinnemuir1542 3 роки тому +1

    The imagery in this installment is great, very beautiful.

  • @potatopotatoeOG
    @potatopotatoeOG 3 роки тому +2

    It's crazy how hypervigilant I am and how paranoid it made me.. how much panic and stress I had on my shoulders.

    • @TheDomeDweller
      @TheDomeDweller 2 роки тому

      Are you better now? If so, how did you get better?

  • @Pancakes4dindin
    @Pancakes4dindin 3 роки тому +1

    Thanks mom and dad

  • @lucieni
    @lucieni Рік тому +3

    My partner pointed out to me that (I know I’m hypervigilant) that maybe I have some type of PTSD. I literally jump out of my skin at the most stupid things… A butterfly taking off in front of me or something falling onto the floor behind me.. I jump out of my skin at the very most ridiculous sounds. I was assaulted from behind in 2014 and unfortunately it has never left me and in fact recently it has increased anxiety yet I’m not an anxious person.

  • @saiancritic2213
    @saiancritic2213 6 років тому +1

    Never a definite answer with the mind. Only consolation, temporary peace similar to an afternoon nap. Would it be so bad? To have something to take responsibility, take blame and be liable for the emotions, feelings, thoughts of death and defeat.
    Yes, truly it is comforting to worry less about a self prophesied apocalypse.

  • @LunyMilky
    @LunyMilky 6 років тому +2

    Having good people around helps at being more confident about all of our insecurities :'1

  • @distorteduzi
    @distorteduzi 3 роки тому +1

    I just randomly thought of a problem i may have and searched random things and found this and i think i have this

  • @Rasheens-Story
    @Rasheens-Story 3 роки тому +10

    My hyper vigilance was 100 but now I’d say it’s at 20😀

    • @personne3837
      @personne3837 3 роки тому +1

      I wish I could say the same 😔
      How did you do ? Therapy ?

    • @Rasheens-Story
      @Rasheens-Story 3 роки тому

      @@personne3837 yeah

  • @krapfantasy
    @krapfantasy 3 роки тому +3

    Everything doesn't have it's root in childhood trauma Alain, and you know this. There are hereditary traits etc too, you know that too

  • @glen458
    @glen458 3 роки тому +2

    Wow so much effort has gone into this. Thank you 😊

  • @mena376
    @mena376 6 років тому +4

    I have had no major trauma and yet I still have anxiety disorder

    • @vincentphilippart4669
      @vincentphilippart4669 3 роки тому

      Trauma can be negative (something necessary you didn't get, like love or valorisation) or can have happened in life so early you can't possibly remember

    • @mena376
      @mena376 3 роки тому

      I did not lack any of that. Not even as a baby

    • @travisn346
      @travisn346 Рік тому

      You were predisposed from birth. It's due to creative intellect.

  • @nickquest8228
    @nickquest8228 6 років тому +8

    God, this helped me feel so much better and understood. Thank you.

  • @AlisonRuthless
    @AlisonRuthless 8 місяців тому

    100% this. This is me to a capital "T" stemming from my childhood experiences & the subsequent trauma that followed. I have essentially been in a "fight or flight" response for decades - literally. The overwhelming emotion is exhaustion/despair/hopelessness in a way & on levels I cannot even describe.

  • @heelty
    @heelty 6 років тому +3

    I felt so understood by this video, thank you amazing voice fella 💖💖

  • @andrewheffel3565
    @andrewheffel3565 3 роки тому +1

    Just let go, and be free. Realize you are not really in control to begin with, and you can begin to relax.

  • @HailAnts
    @HailAnts 5 років тому +3

    Becoming an adult changes nothing. You simply can avoid everything then, and you do. So in fact, it just gets worse, because now you’ve become 100% cognizant of how you’re missing everything always... 😔

  • @amh1772
    @amh1772 6 років тому +2

    This video came in such a good moment for me. Thank you!

  • @knotstudios4113
    @knotstudios4113 Рік тому +1

    As a child, I had to be extremely aware of my surroundings because I was constantly being attacked by my family. Everyone, including my older brothers, were heavy drinkers. Even at night, someone would come into my room and try to strangle me in my sleep

  • @mrmr5208
    @mrmr5208 4 роки тому

    So much easier said than done! And of course adults can "escape" bullies - tipically by giving up on something dear/desired. So much for adulthood "power". No wonder the hypervigilance loop keeps getting boosted!

  • @townbythetown
    @townbythetown 2 роки тому +6

    I’m 34 and I just realized that I have add. Thought loops, anxiety, focus issues, but also something I can’t describe well. I’d be interested in hearing if anyone feels the same- it’s almost like a very intense claustrophobia feeling but in regards to the place I am. I’ve been moving around my entire adult life. I’ll fell fine for a few weeks then I’ll get the claustrophobia anxiety feeling and only feel alright when I’m in transition again. I can’t describe it too well but it’s honestly a worse feeling than any depression or sadness I’ve ever had. Because the feeling is so frantic and pressing like it’s an emergency that I have to leave. My worst fear is being a wanderer for life but I struggle so badly with this. Any insights would be greatly appreciated

    • @hazelife7366
      @hazelife7366 Рік тому

      Jay you have a lot of "thought energy" that you need to redirect
      You can take this advice with a pinch of salt if you want... But get yourself a gym membership
      Go and release that energy in a positive way, it WILL change your life, I promise you.

  • @CassieWinter
    @CassieWinter 3 роки тому +8

    Can confirm that hypervigilance makes it very difficult to rest.

    • @jocsanschray007
      @jocsanschray007 7 місяців тому

      Cause u feel like u should’ve done something differently?

  • @sebastianelytron8450
    @sebastianelytron8450 6 років тому +60

    Problems in life never end. If you think you will find peace once your problems end, you will NEVER find peace.

    • @halafaris3467
      @halafaris3467 6 років тому +8

      Thank you for saving me from another disappointment

    • @blackblackstatic
      @blackblackstatic 6 років тому +5

      Yes if you are and everybody you knew are dead and forever unconscious.

    • @halafaris3467
      @halafaris3467 6 років тому

      @@blackblackstatic Who knows we might get reincarnated it's also a possibility

    • @ab_ta575
      @ab_ta575 6 років тому +4

      Read this quote :
      The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!

    • @djakademiksmomma
      @djakademiksmomma 6 років тому

      Abbass Tabikh whats that off of? I wanna say rocky.

  • @sometime.somewhere
    @sometime.somewhere 6 років тому +8

    One time i was asked if in alright, because i was,holding my arm realky tense in a stress position, i disnt even notice, but every now i am clenched tense or frowning its worrying.
    Has anyone found their anxiety of benefit in a situation and what was tge context?
    Anyone else also often referred to as calm when actually you've just perfected,nasking your emotions? no doubt this makes it worse if you internalise it and also makes me unabke to show genuine emotions very readily. Although a version of it seeping out in gestures tension and irritability.
    Being kind to yourself is very hard!

  • @starlingswallow
    @starlingswallow 4 роки тому +3

    I am in state of fear and it doesn't make sense. But it does. I spent 13 years simmering in fear and anxiety due to being with a covert Narc. I've been doing a lot better since being out of that marriage a year now...but when I PMS, it spikes...drastically. I start perceiving danger in places it does not exist, on TOP of feeling needy and like a burden to others for having such feelings. 😢😭😞 I'm sick to my stomach with fear and with this feeling of yuk. I want to be strong and confident....but I don't feel either today.

    • @user-ed5ke8mt7s
      @user-ed5ke8mt7s 3 роки тому

      It really helps knowing we're not alone ❤️ Ive experienced the same... Highly recommend listening to Louise Hay

  • @misstery5942
    @misstery5942 5 років тому +2

    I can't help it... I really truly can't... I feel like I'm on speed or something that I see stuff other ppl don't and I can't slow down

  • @superhumansight
    @superhumansight 6 років тому +6

    I think all very high achieving individuals have this.
    I'm not sure they would even attempt to achieve far more than average without it.

    • @user-iy4sh9nz1m
      @user-iy4sh9nz1m 6 років тому +1

      "If you've never had something terrible happen to you then you are a bad person. I'm sorry, but it's true."
      - Sam "Gun never jammed" Hyde

    • @superhumansight
      @superhumansight 6 років тому

      "Pray not for the easy life. Instead, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
      ~Bruce Lee

  • @picklesthewise
    @picklesthewise 3 роки тому +4

    Mental hypervigilance can lead to physical health problems as well. Constant tension in muscles, migraines, breathing difficulties, etc. It's a domino effect that in some ways is also a self-fulfilling problem, because if we're physically tense, that keeps us tense mentally, which keeps us tense physically, on and on and on...

  • @k.pacificnw02134
    @k.pacificnw02134 5 років тому +3

    Hypervigilance (and depression, panic disorders, etc) aren't caused by simply "at some point in the past being very scared by something." It's a combination of factors. First, there is a significant heritability to such mood disorders. It runs in families. Secondly, there are personality traits in our genes that might make a person more susceptible. These are not our fault, of course. Thirdly, there are chemicals that precipitate mood disorders: Hormones, adrenaline, etc. For example, women sometimes get their first mood disregulation episode during or after pregnancy, when there is a huge fluctuation of chemicals in the body. Teenagers that suffer from a mood disorder often report it first happened in their teen years, when puberty causes a huge influx of hormones that cause general stress in the brain. Fourth, and I believe least important (the opposite of what this video purports), is a life "event" such as childhood abuse. Most people have most of the above in some combination or other; so why aren't we all anxious and depressed? Because it has to be a perfect storm. Genes, traits, hormone or chemical fluctuations, runs in the family, and early life trauma. And even then, that doesn't always equal mood disorder. But an unlucky subset of homo sapiens will get this short straw and be saddled with a recurrent mood disorder, probably for their entire lives. Thankfully, there is counseling, education, and medication.

  • @burningknuckle26
    @burningknuckle26 2 роки тому +8

    I had to go thru bullying from a narcissistic mother, school bullying, and workplace bullying that caused me 4 years of depression . It was hell. Now at my job I feel intense emotion

  • @GuilainMusic
    @GuilainMusic 3 роки тому +1

    breathing has helped me a lot for coping with panic attacks, but i can still relate very much with the difficulty to relax, sleep or being touch, and this i don't know how to deal with.

  • @Flyingtaco82
    @Flyingtaco82 3 роки тому +2

    Been married to a combat vet for 20 years. I get it.

  • @ricardodaniel7710
    @ricardodaniel7710 2 роки тому

    You guys are the best, I can't describe how good it makes me to watch some of your videos. I am more than grateful always.

  • @kamariatoure42
    @kamariatoure42 3 роки тому +1

    I'm in tears. He knows more about me than I know about myself

    • @B029_
      @B029_ 3 роки тому

      Literally ...

  • @danthompson8212
    @danthompson8212 2 місяці тому

    Working as a plumbing and heating engineer in people houses, with dirty water around cream carpets, working on roofs and with dangerous power tools, sometimes in combination, generally in an unsafe environment every day, hypervigilance is a skill to be developed. How ever I’ve found over the years it’s become harder and harder to switch off when I’m not at work, which isn’t so good, and has negatively affected the relationship with my partner.

  • @Abcded11
    @Abcded11 6 років тому +5

    This video a true masterpiece.... ❤

  • @jodam96
    @jodam96 6 років тому +14

    OH, so that explains my bowel issues D: haha