Former Bishop & High Counselor Leaves LDS Church (STORY)
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Thank you SO MUCH to the person who was brave enough to share their story. You are not alone! xo
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As someone who grew up with a very mormon father who neglected and abandoned every one of his kids, it really means a lot to me to hear about a father who would never choose the cult over his daughter. As hard and heartbreaking as this situation is, he did the right thing, and his kids are lucky to have him :3
I think his wife never loved him as he does her. It's so obvious. She was so lucky to have a 2 husband's. Sad how a person could be controlled by a religion and give up such a wonderful man. Don't fret. There are other women out there for you. In your heart she is and always be your first and only love. I feel your sadness. But it's a blessing in disguise. Water seeks it's own level. It's Karma...
Let me guess. The Morman judge, took that guys house, car and almost all assets.
Gave them to his wife. Then he has to pay alimony for his children's life to 18.
Everything will be used by the new husband, also more donations to the church. Since so much financially is done for the new Mormon family.
The guy in the vidieo.
😅
On
@@josephtseu3483
My ex is Jewish and one thing that always bugged him was the church, he felt The rules were too constricting for him and the problems I had with the church concerned him. We are no longer together but he really was my catalyst for leaving the church. He made me realize just how constricting this organization is and how it has stumped my growth. Since mentally leaving I have begun to accept myself as is and stopped trying to be perfect and please everyone. I have also begun healing the wounds surrounding the patriarchal worldview the church puts forth. I have grown so much since leaving and owe it to him partially for that. He did the opposite of what happened to this bishop and I am great up for it.
I have been inactive for 25 years and never a moment of doubt I am on a better track. Sadly, I believe the members of the church have very little knowledge about what their own church teaches. And there is such a strong tie that even giving up a child would not seem extreme. But time is providing an awakening for many. Thank you for the service you provide to enlighten our world to truth.
This hits home for me. Life-long member working through my own deconversion, silently because my wife has said she would leave me if I ever left the church. I can’t lose my kids. But I can’t stay in the church.
When I read the title I thought you were going to talk about Hans Mattson, you probably have heard of him a Swedish gentleman that had a quiet high position in the church.
First he was having a lot of people coming to him with questions about the history of the church, Mormon literature and all that and at first he just told those people to ignore it then one day he himself decided to look at it for himself and he said that “his heart sunk” and he started doing his research came public with it and left.
I had to become Mormon if I wanted to marry my boyfriend. He insisted on it. You are so right that when you're in love, becoming a member of a religion doesn't seem like a big deal. It's really a recipe for disaster when you eagerly accept the white-washed missionary lessons so that you can move on to your romance and future spouse. I remember the missionary lessons barely skimming the basic concepts of the LDS organization. None of the controversies are covered. I didn't begin to know about the racism until years into my membership. Can you imagine if the LDS organization was actually truthful in their missionary lessons? They wouldn't get far, would they?
I served the full two years. They taught me ‘the commitment pattern” complete with absolutely LOADED “will you…” questions. It’s high pressured teenage missionaries selling a whitewashed history they themselves don’t even know. I didn’t. Anyone that told me something different was automatically discounted and discredited; the wool was all the way down over my eyes.
They actively tell you as a missionary to ‘just talk about the basics, give a baby milk before meat’ and other such garbage, essentially‘don’t tell them everything until after we’ve got them enough that they don’t freak out
LOL i bet your life is now roses LOL NOT have you transgendered yet ? after all that's nota cult ....
Oh wow, that one about the woman willing to give her daughter away like that. Oof. That was like a kick in the stomach, like instant nausea both for her answer and for the lightning quick end to their marriage. I dated and fell in love with an LDS man years ago who was likewise only willing to marry someone in the temple. I was investigating the Church but couldn't promise I'd be a convert. He abruptly broke up with me and within 2 weeks was in a relationship with someone else and married her. Hearing this man's story tonight made me grateful I was dumped back then, even though it devastated me at the time and for years afterwards.
The first time I ever heard about Joseph Smith having multiple wives is when I was watching one of those little " I am a Mormon videos and I read one of the comments that was talking about his gross polygamist practices and just immediately assumed that they were lying to try to destroy the church until later I asked my mom about it and she's so nonchalantly said yeah he hadother wives. I was crushed
These stories are so powerful. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. The church can do so much damage. It needs to stop.
I grew up in the church and absolutely knew about the polygamy. It was the thing that rubbed me the wrong way as a 14 year old. It was part of the start of why I left as soon as I left home. I feel fortunate that I was not as connected to the church as you and many of my friends and that I'm with an incredible (never-mo) partner.
Wow...that is heartbreaking. Beyond words.
Thank you for your willingness to share, because these stories absolutely help others to hear.
And the more you reach out to others who understand, the more support you can know will
be there..others prayers and encouragement. And I hope you are still able to hold on to God..
not the God of the Mormon faith who requires you to follow men's rules in order to "earn"
his acceptance. But the TRUE God who created you and loves you no matter what...
unconditionally. That love that HE put in your heart for your wife....HE can replace in an
even greater way....with HIS unconditional and pure love. So, if you can, turn to HIM and
openly talk to HIM. HE will indeed listen and you will find healing through this experience.
Certainly those who have heard your story here will also be praying for you !!!
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💖
My husband converted for me. But with in a few years he figured out that it wasn't for him. I'm related to JS. He's my great grandfather's first cousin and my grandfather had 5wives so I had an inclining that JS also did but it for sure was never mentioned
It makes me so sad that his wife just dropped him like that for wanting to protect his daughter. Why would any mother just give her daughter up. It's so scary how people just blindly follow like that. I remember as a kid we would do exercises at church on if there was a New Zion we had to go to would you go and what items would you bring and you can only bring what you pre carry. That always really frustrated me because I thought why should we have to go through all that shit again. I also literally heard people say if the profit told them to jump off a cliff they would do it. Scary shit.
Kool-aid. 100% Kool-aid. But the instant anyone says "cult" they say "Who? Us? No way. We're too happy to be a cult." They have zero understanding of what a cult is.
I’m sorry for what happened to this devoted husband. It’s sad how something so untrue like the church can hurt so many.
I am so sorry. You are an amazing father.
Time does have a way of healing wounds. There will be a point where you can look back on this with a sense of curiosity and academia. I've been out of the Mormon church 20 years and can finally understand it as a dangerous curiosity and not just the organization that impaired my social upbringing.
Wow thank you for who shared this. I can relate. When I told my wife I found out the church wasn’t true I knew it was 50/50 if that would end the marriage. Luckily my wife chose me instead of the religion and ridiculous indoctrination but I had to stare down that barrel because I couldn’t keep living a lie. Glad you made it out. Sorry it went the way it did man. I refused to bring my son up with all that shit and pass it to the next generation. It ends with me. If my kids chose religion as an adult that’s fine but nothing could make me indoctrinate them like I was.
My friend who is black met a lovely young lady at Utah st and they were madly in love unfortunately pressure from the family and her religion was too much.
I'm never going back to the Mormon church it's a Colt
This just further affirms what my mentors always told me to do - read the fine print first! Hopefully, his kids got his brains and not his x's. Enjoy the rest of your life dude, it can literally be anything you want it to, now!
As weekly attending BIC, formerly TBM, that story hits my PIMO heart... my suggestion to any who leave, regardless of how much they "leave," is to remain versed and conversational about religious ideas. I listened to Richard Carrier dive into the made up nature of the Gospels yesterday - the control Lactantius had over the teachings with Constantine & his Children, how he not accepting an understanding of a heliocentric universe among the Greeks & Romans, taught a Geocentric to Constantine and his family as "scriptural," and it took until Copernicus challenge to get people back on track with the heliocentric model. 🤔 Not much different, in many respects, to JS Jr. excommunicating the 3 Witnesses, driving them out of town along with Martin Harris, and rewriting his history, and editing church history to try and make himself look more Prophetic in relationship to Dr Anthon. Breaking free of the layers of delusion is a breath of fresh air.
That woman in the talk reminds me of my bf in Utah.
The truth will set you free from the bible and the book of mormon.
Just think of what a better world this would be if we were ALL set free from those chains!
How does one go about submitting their story to you?
I want to go to the temple :) I might have to tell my own MOM to wait outside and not see me married, but its important to me to wear goofy clothes and hats for some invisible force no one can prove anyway! Doesn't that sound like a blessed wonder of glory? In the end times there is nothing more wondrous than EXCLUDING your most cherished family members :) (may be some sarcasm here folks)
Thank God, he was able to see the truth, it is a horrible thing to be deceived so badly by the Mormon church, it is not just a church, it is a community and so many sacrifices were made for years upon years. But the biggest element of being deceived is your eternal salvation is at risk and you do not know it is. My heart goes out to the Mormon people, but the people that know the truth and are still deceiving these people are truly evil.
Non-Mormon Perspective: Based in no small part on early indoctrination, his wife's prior hardships taught her that (1) _all_ non-Mormons would guarantee similar heartbreak, (2) _only_ a Mormon could guarantee she didn't go through it again, and (3) _that_ a Mormon...simply by virtue of being Mormon...was even _capable_ of such a guarantee. ALL 100% FALSE!
I can't help wondering how many of her problems were as much the result of _her own_ choices as her ex _and_ to what extent her childhood _conditioned_ her to gravitate toward abusers...because those raised in dysfunctional households are often uncomfortable in healthy relationships since their formative years teach them that dysfunction is normal.
What a sad story. He's given everything to his wife and the Church, and she just dismisses him. The fact that she would hand over their teen daughter was just astonishing and disturbing. I would never put my daughter in that position.
I'm so glad that he still has a wonderful relationship with his children, and sincerely hope he will find love again. He's a truely principled man.
It's quite amazing how so many of these people who talk about how they were members and left seem to have so little understanding of basic precepts of the Church's teaching.It doesn't build credibility. But it does naje nice stories for this community to salivate over. Almost everything she read he says smacks as a made up story. If he was a Bishop or stake high councilor, he was incredibly ignorant about the Church, it's history, and the context of the issues. Sorry, but I'm calling BS.
Joseph & Emma Smith, power house?
She kicked fanny Alger down the stairs when she got pregnant, at the big house, and she was shipped off. Joseph only sead it's not a filthy dirty adulteress affair. No because they supposedly had a secret wedding in the temple.
His way of getting around sex before marriage and ADULTRY, so it's not sinful.
All of you are all the problem, because what you think is sinful is not sin, So I'm not guilty, I'm gods prophet so judge not lest you be judged.
"Commitment is an outgrowth or fruit of conversion"
The Lord isn't looking for "commitment," the why of the gospel is conversion. Commitment naturally follows personal conversion, dancing / formality without actually hearing the music of the gospel could easily lead to not wanting to go to church etc..
Conversion
See also Born of God
How many children did Joseph Smith have?
I dunno, but he had like 35 wives, so I'm sure he sowed his share of seed!
@@mylesmarkson1686 Again how many children did Joseph Smith have with all those wives?
@@John-tu2wo Again, who cares? He may have had a ton. He may have had none. The bottom line is that he is one sick dude for abusing his power and taking so many (especially the teens). I'm sure he's paying the price for it in hell as we speak.
@@mylesmarkson1686 How nice, speaking against someone who is long gone and you know nothing about.
@@John-tu2wo Actually we know quite a bit about him. You ever heard of The Happiness Letter? It was a trick he used to try to get young girls in the sack. Yep, he was a real winner alright!
It is unfair to judge people who lived long ago by today's standards. In our 21st century we don't like the idea of girls getting married at age 14, but in the 1800s it was acceptable and not uncommon for girls to marry at that age. Also, according to ancient Jewish tradition, Mary mother of Jesus was likely 13 or 14 years old when she was engaged to Joseph. Using this story to attack the prophet Joseph Smith is poor form.
It’s perfectly fair to judge men who claim to “speak for god” by today’s standards. Is god okay with men taking multiple teenage wives? If so, that’s not a god I would worship.
In the 1800’s, the average age of marriage for women was 20-22. If a teenage girl ever DID marry, it was to a teenage boy close to her age, not a 38-year-old man and certainly not to a man with multiple other wives.
It is absolutely fair. God doesn't "restore" a church and later change his mind, but that is what mormons want you to believe. JS made up what he did not plagarize and this included the idea black people were cursed with dark skin because they were impure souls. This posed a problem during the civil rights movement, so the pretend prophet at the time decided to change the church to accommodate the changes of society. This has happened over and over again. JS was a sexual predator, pedophile, a convicted con man and a charlatan. The quicker you realize you have been lied to your entire life the quicker you can liberate the life you have left.
To the person that was willing to let Lex share your story; THANK YOU for your courage for sharing your story. Know that you are surrounded and supported with love within the post-Mormon community!
I've never been mormon but I fell down the youtube rabbithole of exmormon content a couple months back. This story resonates with me not because of faith, but because I have been a 14 year old girl.
I can't even imagine my parents thinking like that. Speaks volumes of the cult mindset.
NO way? you were once 14 ?? So was I!! I was not innocent as a young man at that age were you? Or do you want to pretend??? we have so much in common lets bash churches together! After all, we know THEY ARE the problem with the world not parents transgendering their children , and every conceivable Evil is rampant. You must feel great doing YOUR lords work. will he reward you as Jesus does?
Worst take ever, what a bad faith interpretation of my comment. I WORK in a progressive, Lutheran church. I'm pretty comfortable with my faith and believe I act the way Jesus would want me to. 🤷♀️
A 14 year old is a CHILD. Let them be children.
@@Tottosmile So you don't agree with your own comment??
@@ahwell9984 there was a reply to my comment i think, it got removed it seems
I remember my wife telling me she was an atheist, through tears, and saying she thought I would leave her. I told her I wasn't going anywhere, and I had my own doubts. We both left religion eventually (its been 10 years), and I am so glad she told me. It takes a lot of strength to have those kinds of conversations where the stakes may be the end of a relationship. This man's story made me so sad.
It's stories like these that make me really grateful for such a supportive community online. When I first started having doubts, I did have some fear that my husband wouldn't want to be with me, but luckily he was on a similar trajectory anyway. This story and so many others like it remind me that not everyone gets to be as lucky as I was, and that's what this ex-religious community is for: to help and lift and comfort when the church that preaches to do all those things decides you're no longer worthy of them. These stories need and deserve to be told, so that people know they're not alone, we can try to tackle why it keeps happening, and the church can be held accountable for the divisiveness it so often causes. Thank for sharing your story with us. I appreciate it, and I feel for you deeply.
The Church's aversion to informed consent destroys a lot of marriages.
Informed consent should be painted in the sky for everyone to see. It takes a few minutes, all parties understand what will go down and it prevents mistakes/ensures safety.
,I'm so sorry, but thanks for your story.
If I still prayed, I would. To the person who shared your story, thank you for being willing to be vulnerable, to share, and I sincerely hope you find what you need in addition to the relationships with your kiddos.
I have a 14 year old daughter. There is no way that I would ever let a 38 year old man marry my daughter. Ever. Apart from being against the law it is just creepy.
What if an angel came at you with a flaming sword telling you to do it or else???
Very very creepy.
Not only that, but he was already married, and wanted to keep this marriage secret.
@@mylesmarkson1686yeah but that was all BS so…
@@craigdobinson7025 Agreed. I was just putting it out there as a hypthothetical.
The PAIN caused by the Church encouraging uninformed people to join, and withholding the information that people should have known is TRAGIC.
It might be easier to understand if you recognized that Mormon leadership is operating a corrupt business enterprise that masquerades as a religious organization.
It's all just one big business doing whatever it takes to get the sale.
@@mylesmarkson1686
I knew all this information before I even joined and I've never understood where this "shocking" comes from.
Anyone who understands cultures and history shouldn't be shocked about racism by whites and polygamy with people as young as 14 years old.
Anyone who knows their history would know 14 years was the legal age to marry, and racism was "socially significant" behaviour in the 19th century.
I'm part of a debate which involves social behaviour and that's one of my cases that proves societal norms and socially significant behaviour is NOT inherently moral.
That's why I were not shocked when I read that while learning about the church, I would of been shocked if I read they weren't racists, the white members at least.
If I were alive in the 19th century and had children I see myself thinking there's nothing wrong with marrying a 14 year old, the only reason I see it as wrong is because I've been brought up in a time period when everyone is educated to believe 14 is too young, I would never agree with someone marrying a 14 year old in our time. I can't imagine what people alive in the 22nd century are going to think about those of us alive today.
Can you explain why people are so shocked that early church members behaved socially with their societal norms?
@@danielmoore4024 Because if it's really God's chosen people, they should be ABOVE everybody else, and not way below. You really think any God with half a brain would be okay with racism and polygamy? And of course an old man marrying a 14-year-old girl is beyond sick. If you really had any brains, instead of joining, you would have run like hell. But since you don't...
@@mylesmarkson1686
God doesn't demand his people to be ABOVE all others, that's pride and God sees everyone as equal, not his covenant people as better and of worth more. In the political debate I participate in I pull a lot of prideful discriminatory idiots down from their ableism.
We're all humans, a social species, including those alive 200 years ago, no one's immune to social influences and racism was the social norm in their day. Where I live, members of the church have a far higher sense of morality than the general public, especially when it comes to language and rules.
People don't have to be religious to be moral you know.
These unfortunate missionaries at your front door have to pay their own way during the mission; meanwhile, the church has squirreled away $ 180,000,000,000. Sick.
My family joined in 1994 when I was 10. I left in 2013 when I took a hard look into the truth claims. I, too, wasn't aware of the extent or nature of Joseph Smith’s polygamy. Fortunately my parents and my wife also ended up leaving. They were all converts too. I think it really helps being a convert because you're usually not quite as indoctrinated and your initial bonds with your family are not based on Mormonism.
I have a lot of respect for you and others who grew up in it and managed to get out. So sad this poor man's wife wasn't able to do so.
Shortly after returning from my mission to Italy in 1975, I got into an argument with a nonmember uncle about Joseph Smith and polygamy. I told my uncle that Joseph didn't practice it, that it was Brigham Young who started polygamy. You know, the persecutions, men taking more than 1 wife to support widows and fatherless children etc.
Well for years I still believed that NOT having been taught otherwise. Had a hard time believing when I heard what the truth was.
To the brother that went through that horrible experience - you made the right choice to protect your daughter from a pedophile.
And to think people also accept peering into a hat at a rock to read a story that appeared on the surface of that rock!!!
Hi Mark!
I served in the New York Mission 1990 -1992.
It blows my mind how I dedicated my life to fervently defending Joseph Smith Jr, only to realize he was sexually out of control.
It shattered me like glass, to learn the truth.
The same thing happened to Joseph’s son David Hyrum Smith who went on a mission to Salt Lake for the Reorganized LDS Church. Emma had always told him that his father Joseph had NEVER had any wife besides her.
Upon arriving in Utah, David was devastated and had a mental meltdown after he was introduced to several of his fathers wives.
David was never the same and had to be admitted to a mental institution, where he lived the rest of his life.
For more of the story read “From Mission to Madness.” It’s heartbreaking.
@@GaryMcAlister1830 absolutely insane. All the rest of my family and wife's family are all active. It is too bad but we all get along and there is no judgement rendered. My 2 oldest children have withdrawn from the church also.
Have a great day!
I cried listening to this video. It was so moving and I feel so very sorry for this man. Thank you Lex for posting it. I too am ex-morman. I joined when I was 16 for all the wrong reasons and I was a member for 20 years, served a mission, Elders Quorum president, graduated from the Y, married a Mormon girl. My shelf didn't break as abruptly as this man but it broke slowly over a period of time and I finally left no regrets. I've been out now for over 30 years and I'm very happy but I really appreciate hearing other people's stories. Again thank you Lex.
This story reminded me of a moment I had in seminary. We were discussing plural marriage and someone asked if it would happen again. I knew in that moment that if God asked me to do that I never would be a part of something like that. This was years before I left. I guess we all have lines we are amd aren't willing to cross.
Nobody should ever cross that line. It's putting women on the same level as cattle (way below men), and I can't see how ANYBODY can stay in this disgusting cult knowing it's awful history of polygamy (which lives on in the after-life by the way).
@@mylesmarkson1686 I dislike that it will or might continue.. I don't understand, and this is interesting, but I still believe in the church.. I don't go though, because I'd like to be able to say and ask things, but don't want to feel like I might get kicked out if I do... Or that I'm not faithful!
It's called boundaries. Keep up the great work.
I’m sure the Mormon church worth a WHOLE lot more than 160billion. 160b is just their surplus stock holdings. They are probably worth 3 to 4x or more that. (Man alive this story hit home. When I hear this story I am amazed at the level of mind control this religion has.)
I have never been Mormon, but I have read about Mormonism. I am so sorry that this person went through this, only to be kicked to the curb by someone he clearly dearly loved. It hit me because the couple reconnected after bad relationships, only for her to kick him out because he was protecting their daughter. If I were the daughter and my mom said that, I would be horrified.
The guy who wrote this sounds amazing. I just hope he didn't get hammered too hard in the divorce and has majority custody. Any parent that would be willing to hand over a minor to be sexually assaulted should not have custody of children. Supervised visitation at best.
To the person who shared this story. Thank you for your vulnerability. Every story shared helps me feel not alone, or that I am not crazy for being so shocked with the essays and history we were never taught.
I would not want to be married to someone who would agree to marry off my 14-year-old child. Wow
TO THE STORY TELLER: thank you for telling about your life.
This is heartbreaking. No way in hell would I hand over my daughter either. Over my dead body and over my haunting ghost too. Unfortunately however, I've known a lot of people who would have responded how this person's wife did. It's so sad. No one should ever choose any person, group, or organization over their children. Not ever.
I agree completely. Seems like a no brainer. But, it's odd that in Sunday school as a kid, they tried to teach me some nonsense about Abe being commanded to kill his son because of some delusion (church said god told him, but how can that be any different than a delusion). The Sunday school teacher played it up to be a great thing because Abe was obedient to God over anything else he valued. I knew as a kid this was messed up, but I guess that type of thinking is able to hit home for others.
@@cherryjuice9946 For Mormons, every day is a no-brainer! (And yeah, I never liked the Abey-story either. Choosing God over your son? And what God with half a brain would ever command such a thing? What an F-ed up God!)
Brenan Wednesday,
I doubt that, I would of being shocked if I read the early church leaders were not racist people marrying 14 year olds in the 19th century, in that time the majority saw racism as socially significant behaviour and the legal marriage age was 14.
I don't get why you're all so "shocked" that people were conforming to their societal norms, that's exactly what humans are still doing today.
I would be shocked if people did so today, but not in a time when everyone was educated to believe it was "normal". You and I only disagree because we were brought up being taught it is wrong.
What makes it acceptable for the majority of the world's population to try and destroy my identity, choose normalcy over their children?
@@danielmoore4024 *edited to fix a typo* Prepare to be shocked then: it was never normal to marry 14 year olds in the 19th century, and it wasn't right even if it was normal. That's a fallacy, appeal to popularity. I expect more from a prophet than raping teenagers I'm afraid. You can keep your identity and beliefs, but don't expect me to change mine or agree with yours.
@@capercaillieskye
I prepared to be shocked but I were not shocked you denied it, I never mentioned the 14th century, I wrote the 19th.
You all act like you don't know what rape is.
If society loves their children over normality, why does society support eugenics?
If society didn't we wouldn't see nearly all people suspected to be born with Down Syndrome suffer abortion, if you know the meaning of the logo of my profile you may figure out I don't fight for a church and who I do fight for.
I said, I just don't get what you all find so shocking about it, all churches have such history as far as causing wars, why would this church be any different? I have not researched every church, if I did I would not be shocked to see such stuff.
That's abuse...she was countenancing handing her child over to a predator for the explicit purpose of her abuse. I cannot understand that. I've never been super religious, but even when I think about the causes or ideas that I support with my heart and soul, if someone from one of those causes even talked about my kid, I'd be out. Those kids are lucky to have their father. Sounds like he's the real voice of reason in their lives and it's wonderful that they have such a good relationship.
I am amazed that not wanting to theoretically give your teenage daughter to an old man in a plural marriage was not just the last straw but the only straw for that woman. I mean she knows that is never actually going to happen, but the face he couldn't hypothetically endorse child plural marriage went too far.
God, anybody who throws away a marriage bc a partner won’t agree hypothetically to religious pedophilia is a horrible person. Hopefully she begs for forgiveness one day and you can tell her to go talk to the pedophile leaders and seek forgiveness there. This is horrendous.
I am so proud of him standing up for his daughter and desiring to be a real father who loves beyond measure. As someone who came into the church couple of years ago, this really speaks to me because I am a single parent who lives for my children. God bless!
WOW !!!!!! I wouldn't say this about any marriage but well done that man !!. How can anyone say that about their teenage daughter? If I had a daughter I would string anyone up by their googles if anyone said that to me. absolutely disgusting !!!. How can anyone say that about their 14-year-old daughter I hope he would file for custody of his children. Respect to that guy I hope that he gets peace and love in his life
Oof. That's rough. When most members are posed a hard question like that they tend to respond with an awkward silence. Those who follow without question are the most terrifying.
5:10 I can relate to this. I was just thinking last night about school (I do online BYU along with my church-based high school), seminary every morning, church every Sunday, and youth activities every Tuesday, plus keeping up a social life/being a good friend, having time to relax, and my parents are pushing me to get a job.
I'm only 16 and it's already so much and I don't know how I'll handle it if I get asked to hold a calling, since nobody except my friends and sister (besides people online) know I don't believe in the church, so I would be expected to take it. It's such a high demand religion and it adds so much unnecessary stress to my life. I don't know how anybody does it.
Sorry about the rant. Just kind of needed to get that out there haha
Oh, this hit my heart. I know this feeling. I heard you. You aren't alone.
It will be hard to say no to a calling but it will be so worth it to say no. You're allowed to say no. Saying no will help you be confident in setting boundaries in the future. Growing up in the church, being a people please-er, I've had bosses take advantage of my lack of confidence in myself to simply say no. But after I started saying no, it got easier. And I'm working on standing up for myself now. If you don't stand up for yourself, most of the time, no one will know you need standing up for. Do it for you. Good luck. 👍
Please start building a community and a plan for if you're asked to go on a mission! If you don't follow her already, I highly recommend ExMoLex -she and her husband have done a bunch of videos about how incredibly damaging missions can be and I would hate for you to have to go through that torture for a thing you don't believe in. You don't have to follow these rules forever and you definitely don't have to devote so much of your life/time/energy/etc to a religious group. Sending you all the love & hope for a smooth journey out!
I didn’t believe it really at your age but social, family, and gf pressure led me to o go the full two years. It sucks. Don’t do it to yourself. It’s gonna hurt to tell your parents eventually that you know it’s not true but seriously; imho, the sooner the better for your future and mental health. Choose your path don’t let someone chose it for you.
yeah i'm sure you have received abuse by all these people ,church, parents , friends. deny them all and be part of the world you'll be fine....ONLY 16? LOL to many of your age think your children at that age , you are not you are ayoung adult. the world has made you believe your a child, at 14 i ran an entire a farm for my uncle for weeks when he was away, and could have done so indefinitely if he had not returned. I started learning many years before... Do you think having all that responsibly was good or bad for me ?? to many young people have zero resounsebuty and then when they turn 18-19 they have zero idea what to do and have no work experience , or ethics. i promise you'll regret moving away from the church not the reverse . Be thankful it in your life don't listen to these Enticers they have nothing to offer, except misery.( you can't see their lives)
I’ve never been this early before. I just discovered your channel a couple of weeks ago and I fell in love with it. Thanks for doing what you’re doing❤️
I'm sorry for what happened in this relationship. The church has hurt so many people. I hope this man finds true happiness outside the church.
The fear of losing your spouse's so real. I hide My non-belief from my wife for over 15 years. Luckily she had a faith crisis which allowed us to leave together.
The 15 years of hiding cost me so much mentally. People ask me how did I do it. Fear is a very powerful motivator when you love someone and you're afraid you're going to lose everything.
Thoroughly disgusting that that woman, when asked, would have immediately handed over her child daughter to a bunch of frauds exercising phony ecclesiastic authority. I suspect she will have deep regret and heartache some day.
Or double down on her decision to avoid that
On my first visit to the USA I stayed with some friends who were Mormons. They were very nice, kind people, and knew I was an atheist, but didn't try to convert me or preach to me. They even let me drink tea and fizzy drinks in their house, and I spent an enjoyable few days with them.
I recall the husband telling me how the temple in Salt Lake City was built with elevator shafts, before elevators were invented, so how could they know to put the shafts in? He was very impressed by this 'godly' knowledge.
However the temple construction was completed in 1893, after 40 years of construction. The first passenger safety elevator was demonstrated to the general public at the Crystal Palace Convention in New York City in 1853, and elevators were being installed in public buildings by 1856. Not quite so supernatural after all.
I haven't got anything against Mormons in particular, but when you take the bible as a basis and than add on a bunch more even less believable claims, it does take a lot, as an outsider, to take the whole belief system seriously.
I went through a divorce I felt like I was mourning her loss. But we have to raise like a Phoenix from the ashes. Hopefully you can emerge as smarter, stronger and more powerful.
Dude. So sorry. Honestly though, good riddance, your next relationship will be for the RIGHT reasons!
Yay for this guy who knew where the line had to be drawn, no question about it. The polygamy in my family history was hidden. I had to dig a bit to find it. At least my aunt, who was the family historian, had the decency to be embarrassed by it. She never brought it up. Luckily no girls were involved which is horrific, just two grown sisters, which is bad enough as it is.
I think it's interesting his wife thought the information was so bad that her initial reaction was to say the website must have been hacked.
I think it's interesting that you can fart in a sparkly fashion!
@@mylesmarkson1686 Well I do try.
@@princessfartsparkles6681 At this point, I think you could do a tutorial on the subject!
This story IA nearly identical to my story. When I had questions about the essays, I was labeled an apostate.
Sorry to hear that :(
I'm so sorry. I'm lucky that I married a guy who wasn't Mormon. He went to Church with me, and was even willing to join. But he kept praying that it would only work out for him to baptized if it's true. It didn't work out, and he started reading. Then we both started reading. Now we're both out.
@@bingbingbaobei I started to asked questions and Noone could answer my questions. So I started to dig. My brother is a devout Mormon, he said "if you do your research with an open heart and look at your research objectively, you'll see that the church is true". So I did that, I dug deep and he was right, the church is true, truly disgusting.
Wow, I didn't serve a mission because there was No flippn way I was going to be away from her for 2 years. Not a bloody chance. I was about to get kicked out for attendance because I could not stop being with her. Met her first week of my freshman HS year and I was completely and totally smitten. Best decision I have Ever made. Literally (and I don't use that word lightly) every one I knew in the Church pulled me aside at some point and told me not to get married and go on a mission. I was completely hardcore. My parents had a Mormon bookstore in their finished basement in California and I read Everthing. My biggest disappointment about the Temple Endowment ceremony was that I didn't learn a thing doctrinally, just some silly handshakes. No "New Truths" as was advertised. I ate that shit up. They were So shocked that I didn't serve. Chicks seriously would not date you if you didn't.
I'm glad this man and his children are doing well. So sad what this church does to families.
This is a sad story, but I feel such a sense of content when someone is able to follow their heart and think for themselves. I'm also happy that he has a good relationship with his kids, that's comforting to hear.
I hope this man's wife eventually realizes her mistake and the pain she has caused her family by latching onto a cult over her family to the point where she would drop her husband after 20 years for this. I hope when she does she feels the hot shame of knowing what she gave up and what if anything she gained. If I were her child I would not speak to her again after this.
I know that the cult indoctrinates people but in the end we were taught (or at least I was taught) that the church encourages familys to stand with each other. giving up family for the church is like giving substance for flash, there is no point and you are left with nothing.
Really is alarming how quickly Mormons will throw away close relationships of many years in favor of dogma.
Went from trusted confidant and greatest support for my sister to no longer being on speaking terms in less than a day and a half recently.
I'm so sorry. I hope you find the support you need.
I mean... Maybe me coming out would have worked out better if I'd given her another year or two of gentle nudging toward acknowledging the harm some of the teachings were doing to her, but I don't owe her that much of my time stuck in the damn closet.
And for what it's worth, I've got a lot of good emotional support at the moment, so I'm doing alright on that front.
@@erberor8007 You're growing. Being out of the church will help you grow. I hope she grows, too.
Hi Lex. Long time viewer, first time commenter coming out of the woodwork. Thank you for sharing this powerful story and for being, as usual, vulnerable yourself.
If the person who submitted this story is reading this: I really don't know what to say. You've suffered too much. This cult is insidious. Religion eats up the light in the world sometimes. I wish your emotions as complete a recovery as can be under the circumstances, I'm glad you still have your dear children, and thank you for telling your touching story. For whatever it might be worth, I'm so, so sorry. And I care. All the best.
I'm an ex Mormon my self I'm disabled so I get manipulated easily in the Mormon religion corrected told all my beliefs are wrong so you name it I've heard it
This story breaks my heart. I, too, was scared to death Lexie when I discovered the church wasn't true when my husband was a bishop that he would leave me. We had three young children at the time. This was back in 1992. After months and months of research I must have printed countless documents from church history etc. I kept it under my bed for a week before I faced my husband with it. In my case, I was lucky, he also realized the church was a hoax.
Foremost, my ♡ goes out to you! Hopefully, with the passage of time, the pain has/will continue to ease somewhat. Please consider that you're likely in the throes of deepest grief, even if to a lesser extent than 6 years ago. My point? You may want to acquaint yourself with Kubler's 5 Stages of Grief. Knowledge is power. Also, the stages are cyclical (versus linear). Having, myself, endured both a faith transition and the death of my beloved husband to cancer, I can say that BOTH events were world-upending, and one need NOT die physically to be in genuine grief (e g. death/loss of hopes and dreams, etc as which happens, for example, with the birth of a seriously-disabled child).
Though at your expense, please know that the sharing of your life story holds tremendous power to both enlighten, warn and heal others
All the best.
Glad he had the courage to leave. For a church that claims to value honesty, they don't.
I’m a never Mormon. Hearing stories like this breaks my heart. It’s been clear to me, an outsider that the teachings of this cult are so outlandish how can anyone believe it. I want to call out, do you really believe your underwear keeps you from danger? Do you really believe you may get your own planet (if you’ve been good enough”? This poor man loved his wife so completely he allowed himself to embrace this silliness. His ex wife not only didn’t Truly live him, she obviously doesn’t live her children If she is willing to sacrifice them on the word of a msn (not even a prophet). As horribly unjust this all is I’m so glad he has a good relationship with his children and is strong enough to protect them not only from their mother but from the cult.
That story breaks my heart. My heart really goes out to him and his family. Crazy to think how much religion can twist us up to move us from something as hopefully obvious as "child marriage bad" to "welp, just have to do as I'm told." And I think that bothers me so much because that appears to be the very core of what led to absolute worst atrocities in history - the exact line of thinking unsuccessfully used by the Nazis at the Nuremburg trials to try to defend themselves - "Just following orders."
Atrocities are usually precipitated by "they're not really human".
Was it vanity, or social status that drove her to marry him in the first place? Did she only see him as a provider? If she was able to discard him that easily, then he never really had a chance. The church has a really tight grip on her, and I hope one day she sees the church for what it is.
Lex, you're lucky your husband loves you more than he loved the church. That kind of love is rare.
I want to read these essays. What are they called again?
Gospel Topics Essays, here’s a link: www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/essays?lang=eng
Great episode! Thank you.
Keep it coming! Knowing about various shelf breakers is valuable information for deprogramming Mormons. Also, that guys wife sounds like a real piece of work.
0:48 "They were wed several months shy of her 15th birthday." Known to the rest of as..._she was 14._ (To be fair, marriage ages across the board were much, much younger not so long ago. But that'd be the thing to point out, not try to evade simply saying she was 14.)
During that time, the average age of marriage for women was 20-22.
@@ExmoLex Really? Sounds like you've done more research on this than I have. I thought it was younger than that in the 1800s but apparently I'm misremembering because I came up with the same numbers as you from a Google search. Or maybe it was more of the early life Christian propaganda I got growing I'm still unlearning.
@@stormthrush37 It might depend on the part of the country you're looking at. I do a lot of genealogy as a hobby, and none of my grands, or great grands, were married that young. I have one gg-grand mother that was married at 16, but the circumstances were difficult. It was a large family and the father died. Back in the mid 1800's, there was no government assistance for that. The kids old enough to work (around 5 to 15), would work for a different family for their food and shelter. Boys would tend farms, and girls would be servants. If a girl was old enough to get married, that's what she did. That's what my great-great grand did and why she did it. She was the only one in my line that got married that young.
To finish the story if you're interested, she married, had a baby and the husband went off to get killed in some battle in Tenn. (civil war). On the bright side, another guy in that unit was wounded and came back and married her. She had one kid with him (my great grand father), then died after the second kid. I found the grave and the second kid is buried along with her. He died a month after she did. When walking the grave yard, I found graves of the brothers of my gg-grand father (the guy that was wounded and came back to marry her). They also had wives die young, after a baby (and I found the dead babies). I have to wonder if that was some complication due to the Rh factor so something. She was only in her 20's when she died.
As a side note, her last name was Smith (maiden name), but no relation to the pedophile.
Does the current apostle or the church still promote people to read these essays?
4:15 this is exactly what happened with my parents. My dad married my mom when I was 8 (after my bio mom passed away), and my mom converted to be with him. They didn't get married in the temple because they wanted to get married ASAP, but it was definitely implied that they would do that eventually.
After a couple years things really fell apart. They were constantly fighting because she couldn't stand the exploitative practices of the church. They managed to stay together for my entire childhood however, and only got divorced about a year after I moved out, and they are still romantically involved, just not "married" (idk, it's weird. If I were my mom I'd have kicked him to the curb by now)
I kinda can’t imagine in this moment in time, a rougher feeling than finding out the love of your life doesn’t consider your daughter a full human being. He’s a wonderful father from the moment he put his life between his children and a csa’er. Parents like him are cherished and desperately needed. Thank you for your story.
💙💜
My parents have a Catholic version of this. They married in the late 70's (they waited several years to have kids) my mom was my dads secretary at a company both sidws of my family worked at. Both sides had immigrants who came here to work at rubber plants. But my paternal Grandma who HAD been Catholic left cuz she was Roma (gypsy) and married a Protestant so they told her my dad & aunt were b^stards. Nice. So they stopped going and my dad was raised vaguely protestant but was actually atheist/agnostic but just didn't care.
But my mom was only 21 and her family was SUPER Catholic. I have nuns & priests in my great aunts & uncles. But it was more a cultural thing, like everyone was baptisted but nobody prayed before meals and by my moms generation everyone used birth control etc.
But my dad still converted which is NOT easy or fun for my mom. My bro & I were both baptisted.
But my bro is severely autistic. He stims VERY loud and can't sit still thru mass. So 'oH nO dAd HaS 2 sTaY hOmE- d@MnIt' lol. So he quit going.
No such luck for ME. My public school district was one of the best in the state- seriously it was a good education in a wealthly area that spent money on more than just sports. So Iwas my only cousin outta 25+ who did NOT go to Catholic school.
I was very interested in art, history, science, anything nerdy etc. So my dad let me read Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking, early church history etc.
My mom also got me into feminist classics which didn't help lol. My family is a matraiachy and 90% of blood relations are women. They are all tiny petite sweet women who love to feed people. But they take ZERO ISH from anyone and do not listen to the churches crap on purity or modesty.
So not only did my dads quick conversion not stick (he's still on the books but never goes except on holidays for my mom & doesn't believe) I didn't stay either.
I stopped believing by 13. Especially after actually reading the bible. I thought people believed like they did in Santa. Then HORRIFIED to learn orherwise. I went thru a brief Wicca phase, then Buddhist before settling on agnostic/atheist (they aren't mutually exclusive).
But I never told my mom. She MADE me go to not just mass, but I was an altar server (My ADHD made me the worst twitchest server ever lol). Finally... Youth group.
You had to do PSR (Sunday School) to get 1st Communion, 1st Confession and all that stuff if you went to public school. The final thing before either picking either marriage or clergy is Confirmation. Where you say to a Cardinal that yep you wanna be a Catholic & you get yet ANOTHER middle name. (Catholics are big on 2 to 3 middle names).
So at Youth Group I learned that my goth/emo style was evil. I read/draw too much. I was just learning that I'm bi/pan- and altho Ididn't get me yet I had ALOT of LGBT+ friends. All bad.
Then the GUM. While most of my friends had already had several partners (17/18 yrs old) I had 1. He was abusive & awful. While we did some things consentually alot wasn't. I was doing my damnest 2 heal.
But nope. They did the chewed gum thing. The intentionally picked a dorky kid and had him chew gum & spit it out. Then they asked a FOOTBALL PLAYER if he wanted it. Ya.... That did nothing to help me heal.
Plus how stupid were they? All the 'leaders' were weird old incredibly unattractive adults. They just wanted to relive high school, but with JESUS bro.... So of course they LOVED the popular kids. Oddly nore then the actual religious ones. You know the popular kids who banged EVERYTHING THAT MOVED.
My very fav tho was when like 2 oe 3 nights before confirmation they did a lock in. Where they told us that this was 'Our Choice' and we could 'say no'. We had a big group and like 60 kids LOST IT. Most of us were under 18. Even if we weren't most of us were going to college. Our area was heavily Catholic immigrant so college was a big deal. Plus our cars, I mean our parents could takw away EVERYTHING. We said this. They tried to argue a little but 🤷♀️. Eventually they just changed the subject.
A month after confirmation my abusive ex weaseled his way back in my life. I didn't have a car yet but he did. My mom demanded I still go to church, so we'd drive there, go get a newsletter then wander around the PSR rooms or outside if it was warm. Then we figured out you could just grab a newsletter & leave so we did.
She busted us at Dennys.
She LOST IT. Screamed, cried, threatened- I've seen her react better to cancer diagnosis & wrecked cars. But my dad stuck up for me! Today we have a good relationahip but at the time we were NOT getting along.
He said I was 18. She couldn't force me to go- let alone BELIEVE. He didn't believe either but this was hush hush.
She didn't talk to me for at least a week and was a b^tch forca month. I still get guilt tripped to go holiday masses. But she DID get over it lol.
Now my dad & I are open atheists. But since my Grandparents generation died ALOT has changed. No more priests/nuns at Thanksgiving. Alot of myvcousins kids aren't baptisted. But I still have aunts that teach Catholic school so many are. No one cares if your spouse is Catholic, nobody converts. Most of my family are Biden Catholics. They are mostly fine with LGBT+ people. I accidently came out at a bridal shower lol. Babies born out of wedlock are loved & treasured, but the parents might get the stank eye.
There are a couple hold overs that are total bigotted @ssholes, but they are dying off slowly.
It's crazy the hoops my dad had to jump thru, while I lived happily in sin and no one cares. I think they're just glad he's a boy lol.
But even my Grandparents were lovely people. They had an amazing marriage. They were loving and kind to all religions, they just thought they were right & strict w their kids (kinda, 1 or 2 were hippies). They weren't racist, they loved Kennedy, and were fine w 'the gays' just 'not in front of the kids'. Plus they were from imnigrant families so to them being American was working hard- not being the right color.
Sorry for the novel, but I just wanted to say
1 Forced conversion doesn't work.
2 The culture is always changing. trying to stop that is utterly pointless. The transphobes and Q freaks of today will be the people who fought intergration and mized race marriage tomorrow. Sad pathetic bigots.
3 If you think you can 'fix' your spouse or your kids you are in for some major disappointment.
3 You can't FORCE ANYONE to believe or act as you want them to. So maybe if you lead by example, kindness, charity, love, acceptance you'll get somewhere. But YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT PPL BELIEVE. They are convinced, or they aren't. You can't FORCE yourself to believe that Thor's hammer makes lightning- no matter how bad your mom/boyfriend/priest wants you to.
Sorry for the novel- but hey here you go algorithm. Love the channel Lexi!!! I'm always amazed at how Mormons & Catholics have ALOT more in common then you'd think. 💛💛💛💛💛
I asked my dad the same question about giving his daughter to the prophet and he said the same thing
I'm so sorry.
@@unicorntamer2207 word for word what he said was: "I'd have to give him the benefit of the doubt." Technically, I didn't even say the prophet, I asked him if he'd be willing to give his daughter sexually to a man from church who claimed to have a vision from God about it. Idk how the hell they don't recognize that they're brainwashed
I am 15, the fact that I’m 10000000 percent Possitive my father would Hand me over to the prophet or say- well in this case His revelation is not right or make up some Radical thing is Horrifying.
Wow, this man will be blessed. Loads of respect for him. I woke up to the truth of the Bible @ 19 yrs old. I left the church. My whole family was LDS.
What a courageous, honorable and loving man. It's so hard. As a woman who's husband doesn't take care of her, I can't imagine what it would be like to be treated as well as he treated her. You just don't get two wonderful men who love you that much in a lifetime.
It shows how cults are so damaging and how they work. And they destroy families!
I'm hoping we can teach these younger generations about cults, about coercive con artists and how to keep control of your own mind.
This isn't what Jesus even taught
He said love is the highest law above every rule.
My father by a respected gospel doctrine teacher who was also a pedophile. It inoculated me against church leaders who fall away or are jerks. I may not know as much as them, but I know better. I think.
This makes me so angry! Even when I was a TBM I had already made the decision that if my husband decided to leave the church I'd choose him, no matter what.
Thank God the LDS church is hemorrhaging members!
I grew up a Utah mormon until 12 I knew Joseph practiced polygamy but not to the extent he did. After reading about when and how i wonder if some of them were just sealigns and not actually husband and wife relations. The Fanny Alger story though is not okay with me even if it was okay in that time with parental consent and the fact this mans wife was okay with giving her daughter to the leader of the church who is old enough to be her great grandpa is very disturbing !! His wife is a terrible person to not try and work it out
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My wife's family tried to use her for bait to get me into the church.