What Was Your "Did I F*CKING Stutter" Moment ?
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- Опубліковано 14 вер 2023
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I’m not sure this counts but when I was in high school, football was the thing that everyone cared about. Except me and my friends. Our team lost every game, but that didn’t stop people from freaking out every time a game came along. One day our student council is shouting from the balcony in our common area about the game and people are almost in a riot. Then one dude, hops on the table me and my friends were at and started shouting back at the student council in their cheer they were doing. After that this guy looks down on us and asks us “ARE YOU GUYS EXCITED FOR THIS?!” I was already pissed but then that just got me I guess.
“No I’m not going to the game.”
“WHY NOT?!?!”
“CAUSE I DONT CARE!”
The guy got a look on his face that was a mixture of shock, anger and humility. You could tell that the idea of someone who didn’t care about sports just have never occurred to him. His face was priceless and I felt pretty evil tbh
So, why did you all not care?
@@paxhumana2015 They. Dont. Care. About. Sports. There you got your answer.
5:47 -- "They groomed so hard, they changed Miley's breed" may be one of the best lines I've heard in ages.
Story 6: "Oh-Em-Jee! I can't believe your father didn't abandon you! He should have beaten you and left you in a ditch somewhere, and it's strange that he didn't." Um... leave. "Why?"
Hey Rufus you guys should start making pillows and blankets
Nice idea
What kind of blankets and pillows did you have in mind?
@@RufusReaditdont 💀
@@RufusReadit* thick-azard
@@RufusReadit Careful to make it only standard pillow types, else you'll eventually get to making body pillows or, worse, shaped body pillows
My best one I remember fondly.
I was working at a deli & had an atrocious supervisor.
One day we were running low on gloves and I was the one available to go and get them. I was getting the list of what sizes we were low on and our supervisor who had decided to vanish an hour earlier in the middle of lunch rush calls us up from the manager's office and started screeching about "why are you talking instead of working" cut me off whenever I tried to explain.
So I decided screw that and yelled "How about you shut the f**ck up and listen!".
Which stunned her long enough for me to speak then proceeded to list of all the reasons she sucked, implied that she was the result of an unholy union of a man and a pig, and finally that I quit and I'm gonna be reporting her for forcing one my co-workers to come in with covid.
I didn't hear what she had to say after that because I hung up the phone. My other co-workers just stared for a bit before one asked "Did he just say all that?"
I just said "yep I'm out." and walked.
That was epic 'i quit' moment.
This was still during the pandemic, but I was dealing with people who didn’t want to wear masks to visit their families (this is a senior home, mind you). One day I had a guy with his daughter and brother saying they were here to move in his mother, and I told them “sure let me tell the med techs to get that door open for you. And do you guys have any masks?”
I barely finished that sentence when this guy lets out “Oh are we really doing this right now?” As his daughter starts interrupting him to please stop and do it.
I response firmly with “Ok, either the masks come on or no one goes inside.”
He did not like that one bit, and as I reach for a walkie to give the meds a call, he starts to jabber on with “But what if we have aller-“ I had enough at that point and turn firmly to the group, with a look that clearly said “I’m NOT about to fucking repeat myself, am I?”
Yeah, he shut up, clearly upset as he put the mask on with the others. After that I gave the nurses a call and told them the family was here and to open up the new resident’s room. I offered them coffee, water and hot tea before they began their move-in process, to which they thanked me and said they were heading out. Meanwhile the daughter immediately responded with it “See? Is that what you wanted?” while they left the doors. 😂😂😂
My moment was actually playing D&D. During Session 0 I told my players that they could do as they please within the game, so long as it's not needlessly disruptive. For instance, if they need to go shopping, fine, we can spend an entire session on it if they pleased.
One of my players made a bard, which I TOLD him that I don't tolerate the "perpetually and constantly horny bard" trope. The fact he made the bard a Tiefling should have been a red flag.
He took the sleep spell which I didn't think much on. They were in a tavern, having a good time. As flavor, i speak in general terms of people coming and going, some going upstairs to sleep and such. I mention one of their barmaids going upstairs and the bard says, "I follow her up the stairs."
I'm thinking to myself, "Oh god damn it, here WE FREAKING GO. He's going to try and seduce her." No, he waits for her to unlock the door to her room and casts sleep on her and proceeds to try and drag her to her bed.
I have a special NPC, a level 20 fighter I like to simply call, "Consequences" though the character's actual look and such may vary depending on my needs. To say the least, as he was trying to remove her panties, Consequences shows up, who happens to be in the city guard and the barmaid's brother.
The bard looks at him and says, "You can have her after me." to which Consequences pulls out his truncheon and I say, "Roll for initiative" The bard tries to use persuasion, to no avail. To say the least Consequences takes down the bard, trusses him up nicely, and hauls him off.
Just to drive the point home and "I DO NOT PUT UP WITH THIS KIND OF SHIT" He was put on trial in the next session, where he was found guilty and sentenced to hang.
The player asks, "Are you freaking SERIOUS?" I reply with, "Yep." just before banning him from my discord and removing him from the table.
Fucking deserved. That player has more red flags than a Chinese military parade.
I am this way, in real life, when it comes to the person that did that evil thing in that game.
Best Reddit stories fr
When I was a teen girl, I was dating a football jock that all the girls wanted. Total player, but hey I was young and dumb. But what I “wasn’t” was a pushover. So we go to a party and he’s suddenly chatting up this other girl in a way too interested kind of way. I thought “huh. He’s definitely going to cheat on me at the first opportunity. He’s leaning into her and they are laughing. She’s loving it. He’s winning, and he knows it. Am I going to just sit here sadly and take this sh-t? No, no I am not.” I quietly dipped out without telling anyone and caught a ride with people I knew leaving. I searched around until I found a suitable replacement for the douchcanoe. I asked him to take me to a party some friends were having. He agreed, quite happy to have stumbled on a girl who seemed to be into him so suddenly. I came in hanging on his arm, laughing and smiling up at him. My ex saw and lost his sh-t about it, royally confused and angry at this usurper 😂. He wanted to fight the guy, and the new guy wasn’t about to give up that easily so he was down. I stepped in between them and loudly exclaimed so that everyone could hear: “In case you didn’t get the memo, me leaving and coming back with him was me breaking up with you. There’s nothing left to fight FOR. We’re through.” Then we left. Turns out the new guy was a really really good guy, and who would have known it but we hit it off and actually started dating. My ex was furious that I beat him at his own game, and immediately starting revenge dating my friend. While he was writing letters to me and trying to slip them past her to someone and she would grab them furiously and tear them up. Then he tried to talk to my mom about me in front of her and tried to give my mom a note. Ex friend tore that up too and they got into a huge fight. A week later she walked in on him going at it with some other girl so that was the end of that. But I wasn’t exactly going to let her get away with what she did scot free either. She knew that I had real feelings for that guy and trashed the friendship for a cheating jerk who I told her was a cheater. So I cut a deal with her ex friends with benefits frick buddy that she was really into but he did not return the feelings. Pretend that we’re more than friends, take me out in your boat to the island that her parents go to on the weekends because she’ll be there. I’ll pay you back as friends. I did explain this revenge plot to the new guy that I was dating and got the all clear first that he would be ok with this as I had zero interest in this friend as more than friends. So I got the ok and we did it. We showed up and she saw us. He was sitting on a cooler in the sand and I was looking foxy in a bikini. The minute that he knew she was looking he looped an arm around my waist and drew me in, nuzzling his nose against my tummy for a second. She burst into angry tears and stormed away to her parents. We jumped into the boat laughing and high fived. He took me back to land and I bought him a few bottles of good booze via an older friend as a thank you for helping me. He was of legal age. I heard she spent an hour crying and ranting to her parents and sulked the rest of the day 😂. And that good guy? We married right out of school. I had just had his first baby when two years after the incident my ex showed up on my (married) doorstep asking to speak to me. Thank god my mom answered instead of my much larger broad shouldered husband 😂. She scolded him and said “get outta here, you know she’s married!” Not because he loved me, oh no. But because I was the only girl in the whole of his life to leave HIM first, he was and always has been the one to leave first. I hurt his pride, not his heart. And I was the only one who loved MYSELF enough to know my worth and not accept less from some guy. Not when I could have better. My youngest child is about to leave home for university in another state, and her dad is absolutely losing it over it, poor baby. He’s been the BEST dad, the BEST husband. He’s been everything to me for going on 26 years this December. And that screw off guy? He’s been a lifelong cheater and leaver. He’s had three different women pregnant and left them. I’m so glad that even though I was a teenager that I had my own back and wouldn’t tolerate his bullsh-t before it even happened. I knew it was coming. Nope, not on my watch buddy, two can play THAT game 😂
Dayam, I wish I could have pulled off a Chad move like this in high school, or even college... I mean, technically there's still time, but I'm in no rush to find and date a cheater just to pull it off.
If only i can find good partnet as easy as you are. You win two things that night when you broke up with that guy. The satisfaction of absolutely destroying that cheater and finding good husband.
Story #9 could have added some even more savagery by the OP saying, "Oh, and if I actually die before I reach the hospital, then you, as well as every school official that did nothing to stop your idiocy, cruelty, tyranny, and evil, can all not only lose your jobs, but also your freedom, your licenses to teach, drive, and do anything, and, if you are fortunate, you all can end up behind some prison bars, but, if the judge and jury, as well as the excellent lawyer that I have, all make the case of my death go in the favor of my family, then there is a one hundred percent chance that the only time that you all will ever come out of the prisons that you all will be staying in will be in permanently horizontal and unconscious positions inside of some pine boxes, only for you all to ironically be imprisoned once again by being put into some paupers' graves, and that is IF the Creator decides to even allow you all THAT kind of dignity in your lives".
You keep me more entertained than other reddit storys on UA-cam. Keep up the great work 💪
I had a P.E. teacher who made us all go around the schoolyard twice. She told us we could walk but got mad at tiny me for having a "bad time". I was 11. The youngest person in that school. Never wanted to be an athlete. My out of breath retort was "No one actually cares. Not even you. So just stop pretending." then I went and changed my clothes for the next class. She never started that bs with me again. *^_^*
yo what happened to the rufus rugs website it doesnt work
I got mad at my past crush, starting going crazy, blocking him out, and that stuff.
He now smiles at what I say in class. And I also might’ve just unblocked him 😔
Oops. Oh well if we could be friends
(Working in an ambulance transfer service, patient with ESRD looking annoyed and argumentative)
Patient: "Dialysis appointments are such a pain, what happens if I stop going anyway?"
Me: "You die."
Patient: "Excuse me..."
Me: "You die."
(Argument over)
I was going to buy a rug but $700+ is crazy
Ahh someday... the statute of limitations will run out.
The thing that makes the Walmart story stupider. He had the receipt!
Wheres today’s video?
Pioneered the next generation of robots with my partner; afmittedly they struggle to learn new things, and cant deviate too far from their original programming on their own, but their behaviorisms are nearly indistinguishable from actual humans. I was on the mechanical and electrical side of things, making sure they werent all janky and setting off the uncanny valley responce whenever they moved or spoke, while my partner was the core programmer.
When we unveiled our protoytpe and two production models my partner happily snapped up all the credit, and I was labeled as an assistant! I declared that the world would appreciate my greatness and left in a fury. Nobody believed an 'engineer' like me would ever do anything drastic until I helped myself to a handful of the second generation master robots, and began a cycle of violence that would eventually see the polar icecaps melting, flooding most of the world. ~ Dr. Albert Wily.
Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself those things, until SkyNet/Legion, Ultron, or some guy that is called Eggman appears.
Dont forgive her! This enables her!
Historically, one of the biggest would be Jesus's "love thy neighbor" considering that Christian "love" is not love at all.
Yeah, Jesus whole deal is "try to be good with one another" and christian does the exact opposite.
Respectfully, #13 the cashier may have been Neuro divergent and taken the "question" as pseudo-rhetorical or even passive-aggressive. You don't want to beat around the bush like that with endys. We like it, even need it, straight.
the terrible game play is driving me nuts
I don't watch the game play. I play games -- easy ones, like match-3. And isn't everyone's game play lousy when they first start a new one?
First