HOW TO REALISTICALLY BREAK THE CYCLE OF BLACK TAX!
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- Опубліковано 28 сер 2024
- Black Tax is one of the greatest personal finance challenges that we face as African and black communities. We find ourselves sandwiched between taking care of our extended families, taking care of our own children while at the same time trying to take care of ourselves and attempt to build some form of wealth.
It is one of the hardest things to manoeuvre. I have personally experienced it and that's why I thought making this video would be important. I hope you get some tips that you can realistically apply in your situation, if this is something you've been struggling with.
You got this!
Cheers,
Coach Susan.
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I have managed to draw those boundaries after finding out that I was being asked for money to fund their own projects lying that it was for my old mum's medicine. I live outside the country. The only person I support is my old mum who needs basic needs. When I tell my siblings that sometimes I work without even able to eat lunch in order to make it, it is like am talking to a stone. They have no empathy. All they see is that I am not in Kenya hence I always have money. I learnt from this coach in the past that all you have to know is that if you are not here, those asking for money from you will continue to live. They will not die because you are not here with them. That's what I keep saying to myself.
i have come to a conclusion that all matters money must be addressed from a logical point of view, feelings will leave you financially paralyzed
Thanks for the reaffirmation. Since I drew the boundaries 3 years ago, my happiness index has improved significantly
The way relatives start raising standards with your money, emotional manipulation....yet these same people blame you for not saving for a bad day incase it happens for you, this has to change, thanks Susan for addressing this in such elaborate way
Black tax , is a conversation that nobody is ready to talk about in 😢our african homes .
Ikr
Am glad I already got my break through since I left formal employment to self-employment my whole perception about financial management took a whole new route. I didn't have the luxury to throw away money since I badly needed each cent for my business and emergency fund. My relatives backed off and no one talk about money with me. I can honestly cultivate healthy relations and talk straight about how we should all identify our break through.
I love how you have meticulously addressed this sensitive and must have conversation. I actually just shared the video with my husband since he is still undergoing that emotional blackmail hopefully this will be of great help to him.
Will keep you posted on how the video will have affected in mindset
Thank you Susan. This resonates kabisa. May God deliver our families from generational poverty in Jesus Name.
Your videos have been so instrumental in my financial life. Thank you, coach! I am so grateful you were born!
@@backpacker2352 Aw! You are so kind! Thank you! 🙏🙏
@@susan.wanjiku_I'd really like to meet you,where can I find you and how much do you charge?
Since I started applying Kevin Oleary rule I fixed this issue "Don't lend to family members, give them the money and never expect it back, then have a contract of them never asking money again".
KajairoKajairo2271. Wow interesting. I have watched Kevin O'Leary for years in shark tank specifically since the inception of the show but I never heard of it, however I know that rule give to family money that you know you do not expect to get back.
He made that rule after realizing lending money has destroyed many families
As a Firstborn its never easy ,God help me!
Leave alone first borne,breadwinner😮
@@shailahajando285 it's like automatically becoming breadwinner oh God
Sometimes I wish that I was "useless", just like my family describes some of my cousins who are "undependaple". My family expects me to upgrade their house, pay my sibling's school fees, send upkeep money and so on. It's got to stop. Thanks Susan for this video, I'm a step closer to breaking this cycle.
I am going through the same thing. It is so depressing.
Coach Susan, this is your birth month and we celebrate you! and appreciate the Lord for assigning you to this and more generations to come❤
My goodness i needed to hear this video! Sad reality is when i finally drew a boundary , i was called names and shamed 😢!! Still feeling guilty but i will not enable anymore!!
What I have realized in life is God is the source of everyone. We are not the source but a resource God uses to help others. And if God doesn’t use you he will use someone else or something else to help. If you cannot genuinely and cheerfully give then don’t, knowing that God will use someone else and something else to help that person. If you can help help but if you can’t please don’t. Make sure you have savings plan and all that and when you can help others and if you can’t let God! You are not God.
This is how I deal with black tax. Your points are very good. Thank you for sharing. When giving give cheerfully if you are giving begrudgingly then that is not giving that’s slavery. It’s okay if people say you are a bad person coz you are not meeting their expectations of you! Only God cannot dash out expectations. Everyone else can! We should be free from people pleasing bondage! No matter how much you help the day you stop they will talk about you in a negative way. Whether you give or don’t give people who want to talk about you in a negative way will do it either way!
The shaming and name calling is meant to emotionally manipulate and eventually draw you back to being misused. Stay strong 💪
Yeah,the guilt😔@@ANM657
Same boat here, I feel yuh
The quilt tripping that comes with black Tax😢😢. I have experienced everything you have talked about. Hata posting anything that looks like you are doing well becomes the topic for “family gossip”
But, the day you decide to ignore and live your best life because it’s the only you have, you enjoy PEACE
I love your content, Susan! So so practical! Thanks alot
@@allenbirungi3870 You are much welcome. Thanks so much for watching as well. 🙏🙏
I resonate so much with this video and it spoke to me in every way. The one who gives never has a fall back person compared to the ones who asks. Its sad and has worked on my mental health for so long. Some family are so entitled that they budget on your salary monthly, never asking if you as the giver are okay. I will apply your strategies and set boundaries cause wow, life is tough already. Thank you so much Susan.
Black tax is a conversation I really needed to hear. Well articulated, I have been dealing with this black tax issue with my family for more than 20 yrs and your points have hit home and I have really learned some strategies of how to deal with it. Thanks coach, really appreciated.
Life becomes pretty simple once you start saying NO.
And they make you an enemy😅, currently going through this
Hard to say No.
@@felisterwanja2561 you're growing up wanja. Be relentless.
@@eunicemaina3802 once you don't care about people pleasing, then it becomes very easy, you still have a lot to learn, keep growing.
@@eunicemaina3802 you have a long way to go, keep walking.
I love your candid and practical conversations! They need to be had, may not be comfortable but the conversations need to be done. I am being helped, thank you coach Susan.
Always looking forward to your videos, you don't know how much you've transformed my money mindset
WAOO, I WAS TALKING TO MY HUSBAND ABOUT THIS, THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME SOME TRATEGIES AND I THINK I CAN NOW PLAN EARLY. GREETINGS FROM UGANDA
I'm the no one! I see my elder sibling being emotionally blackmailed. I budget for what I have to give. Having limits as to how often, how long and how much is also a very good discussion to have. So is having a long term plan for the black tax is an invaluable tip! Always enlightened to listen to you!
Thank you coach SW for your incitement 😊 this is one topic that need addressing without emotional attachment more than ever! What i have is seen, if you give away bit by bit of your 10k every month, come end of year, you will Not have achieved anything whereas if you saved that money, i am sure it would have done something that will change your life.
Watching from Kampala Uganda.
My daughter,Susan, thank you once again for this wonderful topic and I am totally Impressed.
Personally I am a victim and I need to break this cycle in my home.
My children after University are all seated at home depending on me the old man.
Under normal circumstances its time for everyone to go out, hustle and generate some income for livelihood.
My aunts,brothers,uncles etc..call me time and again because they believe that I have a kind to them and always say yes to there financial needs..
Oh dear .. that's sad!
Hi, May God help you to break this cycle,, you need to act promptly cuz these are your flesh and blood.Once they start creating families while still Living at home, it will be harder.Have Courage.Dont be afraid of backlash or guilt trip.
Thank you so much. I'm gonna break this cycle, God crown my efforts
Thank you Susan for this!It resonates with me and it's something we're dealing with and draining us big time... Starting tonight,I'm gonna apply one or two of the strategies...saying NO has been an issue...haki lakini umaskini ya Afrika pia iko another level!weeeee...
This wisdom is so timely,,
the way you teach with the examples makes the practical part easier, thank you Coach!
For me defining helping and enabling has been a game changer. It's true you will get many enemies but it's you versus you😊😊
Communicating the scope of support and building a sustainable scheme!! We're forever grateful❤
Some of us have watched our mum's drown in black tax and most of those they sacrificed for end up very ungrateful and entitled 😢 It's sad to watch as she could have used those finances for herself but she chose her brothers, sisters, nephews and nieces. Wanting the very best for them
This has been such an eye opener... I wish I had you when I was in my 20s I would be so far right now.. But I've implemented all your pearls of wisdom since I found your channel a year back and in my late 30s am doing it right... and you will soon see my portfolio coz am now budgeting for a life coach (you😊) to ensure that I stay on track❤...
Thank you Coach Susan. I am on that road on navigating black tax, but this video has been hugely helpful.
Thank you Susan you have really educated and opened my financial habits I live in Uganda and I watch all many of your episodes and have also shared them to my friends and family. thank you
This is a vital lesson to help me make strides towards making better steps of sorting black tax issue. Asante Susan
I think we all know this, but need coach Susan to really make us see it vividly in a raw perspective. Most black tax is handouts.. and we all know handouts are NEVER enough.
This is a very good topic people dont like talking about it
Have subscribed to your channel like few weeks ago. To be candid, i appreciate your content. From Nigeria
Trust me I’ve lost people who i never thought of loosing when I learnt to say NO and i have no regrets at all
Me too
Wanjiku you always have fresh ways of liking to improve one’s financial life.
Definitely will do what you recommend.
That's a hot topic, but you have really covered it well. I have learnt a lot on how to handle the situation.
Thanks.. Coach good one today..😢.for sure you shared it well waa
Good. But during your closing remarks, you could have advised the ones on the receiving end ,i mean the ones who are receiving black-tax that they should have some emphaty & understanding or sometimes to find a way of making money for themselves
Stephen, those cannot be advised because of entitlement. Just set boundaries, say no, and they will find a way out.
Ya thats very true. I have such family. Its too much
I am the only daughter, black tax has weighed me so low. My only brother has refused to support at all our ailing mom. He escapes the whole story by saying we take her to some ritualist. Which he needs me to fund. I believe in God. One day she will be ok. The lack of support from any member of the extended family really weighs on me considering this has been going on for years.
All share be well
Thank you for these insightful gems Coach. Love from Zambia
An amazing topic full depth and Growth I have now fully understand what is required of me in order to change such Mind set.
Thank you 👍
Timely talk Coach susan my family 2 ladies and 1 man has all gone quiet on me because i said NO to enabling black tax. Its only my mum who communicates with me. And mind you am the one who put all my siblings through high school and College. Plus Food Shelter and Accomodation. All now have kids and i was Expected to continue enabling by Paying school fees for their Children coz niko Majuu ujerumani nikasema NO they all cut me off. I also have my own family here in Diaspora to take care of but no i was Expected to be a superwoman and i refused.
What a wonderful piece of advice. I really need that 😊
Hi Susan, you are the friend I need. Your videos are so on point. These are the conversations we should be having when we sit together. Blessings on your day.
I had a Kenyan brother in law who had a high level job but because he took his young brother through school, he expected to get much more in return, he took a car on credit and then asked the owner to contact us for payment, when the car owner called, I told him that we can't afford a car of our own because we are saving to buy a house, the car owner said that he had already sold the car to his co-worker with the hope that the brother overseas would pay, I said no, and I told my husband that I refused but my husband said we should have helped him to get that car then save more but the funny part is that his older brother who needed car already had another car but wanted a much expensive from a friend who was going to UK for studies, no is answer
Africans we need to wake up quickly, we are focusing on keep our relatives on handouts, why support a working parents, able relatives, we are encouraging able brothers to spend money you give them so they can have more kids for others to support? When do you focus on your own development? That is why some people have totally cut off relatives such dependence is sad and breaks young families
Good question😊
Thanks for this, helpful
@@omondipurityjep2539 Karibu sana! 🙏
Coach Suzy droppin Gems as always❤❤❤❤❤❤
Juggling across black tax is just crazy, especially for those people who feel entitled. Thanks Susan for the insights
Thank you coach...this is enlightening
Today you really nailed it hard. God bless you Susan
Thanks. I have learnt alot. Will start by identifying people who are top priority
Coach, I have learnt so much from your teachings for the last 3 months and am so grateful, my opinion is to just request you to work on the length of your presentation 🙏 , something between 15m to 20m or less.
I thought so too. I think her intros could be shorter. The good thing is you don't notice how time passes when you start watching.
@11:17 baby chilling and boom! 😂😂😂😂😂...LET ALL BE RESPONSIBLE... as you fund the fan, fund too the consequence😂.
Waoh, its so informative madam. Since I landed here have really financially matured. Thanks girl.God bless you.
Thanks for the eye opener, that is one thing i fear facing but now i have too
Asante sana. Very helpful. Thank you for being realistic about this topic.
Thanks Coach for these strategies. So timely for me. Time to whip up black tax and have some very uncomfortable conversations.
Nice topic. Thanks for always sharing enlightening messages... God bless
Thank you, Susan. 😍 This cycle really needs to break.
Thanks coach. This is a really relatable topic. Your pointers came handy in such a tough time. Till next Finance Friday, Chao!
Black tax is really and chocking however our cultural background also contribute. I have liked the way you broke it down and am sure it is helpful though emotional but saying NO is a sign of maturity.
The Bible says the one who does not work must not eat! You have hands, brains, feet... Put them to use!
One side of my family too seems to have generational poverty. I have had to draw tough boundaries....and it is hard
Thank you Susan. Following from Rwanda
Very informative. I have picked a few helpful tips
Thank you for putting this info out here Coach.The church is also another form of black tax.It's ok to tithe,it's ok to support development and what have you, but why would anyone set you targets on money you probably don't even have in the name of attracting blessings and still make people feel guilty for not attaining the target.🤔
Love your content and delivery of the information.
waooo.thank you Susan.
May the Lord strengthen us 🙏🏼
I have some who keep trying every month even if I say no they will keep asking.
Thank you for this information 🙏
They ain't ready for this conversation
Thank you couch this was needed
strong tie and family connections makes it difficult to avoid this black tax,at some point you also feel you will need assistance from them whatever will be.
There is leeching on someone and entitlement and there is asking for assistance with out entitlement. Most ask for money and don't refund. With my folks its very clear. I lend them money and they tell me they will refund especially huge chunks of money. There is what I give them and when I go home I shop for them. Sometimes out of the blue I will send them money. We respect each others money and my parents care enough that I am also building a life for myself from building a home and investing my money etc
If you can't afford school fees for Eg, don't have kids! I was not born to be financially Abused!
Rightfully said 🙏
This is well put!
Make it shorter.
I don't know how Susan but..if its doable better in future. Thanks for the insights 🎉🎉🎉🎉
i LOVE THIS..Be blessed Susan
This is nice information
Thanks so much Susan, this is very helpful.
Wuueeh i thought im alone, imagine my eldest sister paid 120k part of my school fees, fortunately i got a job...so she left everything to me even she stopped paying medical insurance for my mum and yet im a single mother of two...at the moment im into depression 😭😭
Very informative.
watching these as am sending money😮
Looking to have a lasting solution for our mum in terms of funding her living expenses. We have been trying to sell some land which we will buy a bond and maybe partially put in a money market and then only withdraw the interest on a monthly basis for her monthly needs.
I am the scapegoat of the family, wueh It’s draining me.
Thanks for the info
Good stuff Coach Susan.
Thank you lovely Suzy
Very good advice
I do sale vitenge fabrics And you got a nice one,give me some order yako Na Mom...I'm listening loud to enable me continue sharpening my financial discipline
Case in point is when yo abroad, your parents will put the burden on you,call you for anything involving money leaving your siblings who never went abroad free,in most cases they have good jobs back home but the parents think that yo doing better than them because your abroad!!
This is very insightful...at this point we have no reason not to address this blacktax issue
Hio nguvu ya kusema no ndio na practice sasa
😂😂me also