When you’re on your 20s you’ll realize how weird it is to date a teenager. It might not seem like a big difference in age but there certainly is a big difference in maturity.
Exactly, all the people saying it’s no big deal are clearly young. I’m 22 and wouldn’t even date an 18 year old, I was very different as an 18 yr old compared to 22.
As you get a little older it matters much less. Also typically girls are more mature than guys. When I was 25 my gf was 19 and it worked well we were together for 5 years.
@@rdeez5974 Humans regardless of gender are considered fully mature only at the age of 25 scientifically. ‘Girls mature early’ was just a way to get young girls married off early in the olden days…
@@rdeez5974 5 years starting from there or five years until that point? Details matter man. was she 24 when you broke up or 13 when you started going out 💀
@@paula3502 nah bro she was 19 when we met so she was an adult in the eyes of the law but a lot younger than I ever thought I would date but we did really well together.
Well that sounds like a you problem. They love each other . I dont see anything wrong with that. If they are happy together then there is nothing wrong. You are 23 and making a minor feel bad about loving someone older then her .
No sane 20 year old wants to be with a 16 year old. It doesn’t matter how pretty or “mature” you believe yourself to be. It’s not normal. I’m 21 and I feel a bit weird around 19 year olds. Edit: checking in like a month later (did not expect this to gain traction and my notifs don’t work well fsr) I see a lot of people confused here. I wouldn’t look at a fellow 21 year old and think they’re weird for dating a 19 year old. I just simply don’t find the humor and general air of an average 19 year old to be something I want to be around. Many of them are still clinging to youth (which is normal ), as are 21 year olds but not to the same degree. Nothing Against them you just know who you are compatible with. Also, you can be mature for your age but not to the extent of a 16 and 20 year old. I dated a 25 year old at 16, so I am bringing a little bit of experience along with the actual knowledge and facts. Nor does it really matter. I think I saw the example of a mentally handicapped person thinking younger than they are..so does that mean a man handicapped at 30 can date a 12 year old in some people’s mind? Sus… Basically, I can tell most of you by the responses are children or chronically online by the offense taken. You will not hurt my feelings so maybe you should vent your anger elsewhere in a productive manner. I know I am most likely right because I’ve thought *extensively* on this, and I would genuinely discuss this with someone who disagreed if they seemed to actually want to talk rather than throwing a tantrum..but low and behold it seems all responses in disagreement have one thing in common. A lack of ability to control their emotions. So..I really think that says “something”. Have a great day and take a break offline!
Ok that's your opinion and it's objectively wrong. Maturity comes through experience not age, you have no idea what these people have gone through. Therefore you can not properly infer their maturity level at all.
It’s not the age gap it’s that he was 20 and you were 16 💀 Edit: ok for everyone commenting “it’s only four years my parents are four years apart” yeah Ik that’s literally what I said I have absolutely no problem with age gap relationships but what I do have a problem with is a man a legal adult being in a relationship with a minor
Exactly. When I was 20, I had zero interest in anyone with “teen” in their age. I could never look at a high schooler as a potential partner while I was in college. Edit: Ok, so a couple of people are asking me if I would be interested in a 19 year old when I was 20. I was a college sophomore for the most part when I was 20 and would have been fine with other college sophomores/people who graduated with me that are 19. However, a high school senior who just turned 18 would have been a no for me. Let alone a 16 year old. High schoolers and college students are in way too different points in their life and maturity for me to ever be able to find a justification for them to be romantically involved. If you think the issue between a 16 and 20 year old dating is the age gap and not the fact that an adult is grooming a child, then you really need to reconsider the difference between the two ages.
@@hhuy4341 it’s disgusting. Just because something is legal,does not make it right,okay,or good. Idk why anyone that age would want to be with someone who’s still practically a child
@@focus_gaming1438 I live in the UK, my teenage cousin is married to a 35 year old man, just because it's legal doesn't mean it's not grooming/pedophilia
@greenghoul157 yeah but it depends on the situation. I'm 17 and dating a 22 year old, there's no weird power dynamic and we have good communication and we're happy. I don't see any problem with it.
@@gelato420xwtf do you, a high schooler, have in common with a college grad 😂. There’s a reason why he’s going back to look for high schoolers to date….
Its not the gap babe. I'm 25 and I promise you when you are 20 you will not be able to imagine being attracted to a 16year old. Someone in highschool feels so far removed from you mentally and emotionally by that time its crazy. 16 is a kid. 20 is an adult, albeit a new one. Its just not the same.
for the people wondering, she’s 17 and her bf is 21 if you wanna know more just search her up on famous birthdays and in her description it shows her bf(callum)
I am 20, and the fact that any 20 year old would purposefully go out with a minor just disgusts me 🤮 If I went out with someone and found out they were 16, I’d nope outta there faster than a bat outta hell 😂
Frr tho... I just turned 21 a few days ago, and same. Maybe the age gap is ok with someone who's *at least* in their Late _20s_ but this..... Is way too much
Hes not chasing younger people he literally ran into someone whos aparently 17💀💀 my age gap is 5 years and I think its a beautiful relationship. Let people love.
@🐱!! 𝙕0𝙈𝘽0 𝙋4𝙒𝙀𝘿 !!🐱 I am not not on any side ok or not I am just saying that it is legal and that other cultures have other ideals I personally think it's not ok but if they are ok with it then let them
@wannashareataco1351 she just said she was groomed but didn't provide anything to back it up. She just vaguely gestured at an age gap and expected that to do the heavy lifting for her as if one necessitates the other
This is actually repulsive that a grown man is preying on a teen. Trust and believe that you will either regret it or it'll make you sick once your prefrontal cortex is fully developed
20, 21, etc is not really fully grown. There’s rather a spectrum of maturity. Some reach mental maturity earlier, some reach physical maturity earlier. In the middle ages and in past centuries it was normal for relationships between teens. Life was short. So calm tf down
“They said it wouldn’t work🥺” Naw girly they said it was illegal but u didn’t listen ❤ Edit: MY FAULT DAMN I saw comments saying she was 16 and he was 20… that’s illegal where I’m from so chill 😅
@@thedave8097underage minor different mentally & in maturity & in life experience. Ain’t nothing wrong with a 4 year age gap, it’s WHEN that’s the issue.
@emmastone8779 I see your point, but also most people I know that have met around those ages are pretty well matched. I think that most 15 year old girls already have more life experience, maybe even sexual experience, when compared to most 20 year old guys. Which is weird to see, but that's the society we live in.
I was 16 with a 21 year old. Thought he was the nicest dude, we were absolute besties. Broke up with him because of this unexplainable feeling of suffocation. Flashforward I'm 20 now, I live with my same age boyfriend and his little bro is 15. Same age difference as me and my first bf and I'm disgusted at even the thought of being with someone that young. Over the years realised that age gap AT THAT AGE is not okay.
@pescado fritoo firstly I am so sorry and I am so proud of you. I've been there, not just with my first but with strangers, friends, people I thought I could trust and I wasn't able to defend myself either. It is not your fault. it does not define you. It is his fault, it defines him. You are worth so much more than your past. You are worth so much more than how people have treated you. First, try and think logically (I know it's easier said than done) but someone who did anything with or to a 15 year old at 25 is legally a pedophile. Do not trust his words trust your gut, and the facts. That means anything you feel is valid, it is understandable, it is expected. Allow yourself to get angry, to be beyond pissed. It's healthy. The world teaches us it's not. But it is better to be angry at a person who deserves it then ourselves. When I realised how disgusting my first experience was I blamed myself. What helped me stop that was realising I was a kid, not capable of consent. I realised, said and wrote down that he was pathetic, disgusting, vile, gross. He will not say sorry. But I am sorry, because you didn't deserve that, you didn't do anything wrong, you were a victim of a disgusting man and you are now a survivor. keep surviving. You could report this to the police if you wanted.. other than that call someone, a helpline for women who have survived abuse, Sa, etc. Because that's what it was. They'll validate your emotions, tell you why you feel this way, that anyone would and offer real help because you deserve it. I'm proud of you, you got this.
Exactly! I’m 21 now and looking back at my 16-17 y/o self… that’s a completely different person. People don’t realize how much minds change and develop between our teens-early 20’s… especially when you’re still a teen!
The age gap isn't the probem! But the thing is u are under age...you have to be carful! He's in his 20s and u are barely 17! Issey, we are happy you found someone it's just ur under age and we want u to be careful.
@@mygod2529 Dude..? Im just saying "usually" cause the age of consent is almost always close to the age of 18 Edit: Do y’all not know what ‘close’ means? 16 is literally two years younger then 18, read my dang comment 💀
Actually no not really, believe it or not there’s actually very few places to where the age of consent is 18, for most places is actually 16, even where I live it’s like that, and I’m in the US, 18 is just the age where you’re considered a adult, this shit is still morally wrong tho💀
you guys need to understand that 17 isn’t a child anymore you are out of puberty. Also 17 years old girls are mature than boys at their ages that’s sometimes they don’t want to date boys in their ages. Y’all never went to biology classes….
:/ I feel so bad for this girl because I remember being 14,15,16 and being very physically developed and being told I was “mature for my age” (I was, mostly because I was traumatized - but I was still a child with an undeveloped brain who couldn’t even understand the concept of inappropriate age gaps.) and dating people significantly older than me (19,20,21+) it wasn’t until I reached those ages myself that I realized how warped and predatory these dynamics are. Nobody in this age range should be pursuing/dating minors. It just isn’t okay. And unfortunately she will most likely have to figure this out the hard way
I was trafficked 3 weeks into my adulthood. Escaped it. Unbeknownst to me, enduring abuse is not a sign of maturity. I'm actually quite embarassed of survival mode me, escaping the abuser. You put this so well. I was never mature for my age. Just endured trauma. Children have less rights so it's troubling how children who are abused are treated as their brains are still growing. Absolutely wild.
@@candace3493 I can definitely relate! I’m trying to be more forgiving and protective of my teenage self nowadays and the persona she felt she needed to take on to protect herself. We had no idea. I’m glad you were able to get out of that situation and I truly hope you’re doing well now ❤️
Figuring this out the hard way, by that you mean what. You realize there are people in actually healthy age gap relationships. Not that its common but it doesnt always have to be predatory… yall are so quick to judge and have the nerve to be like “OH NO POOR GIRL”… not everyones as naive as yall were💀
@@catacombskull I can appreciate this point as well. Not that my appreciation alone could invalidate your point. I think where people get concerned is that everyone is capable of abuse, and young people are still figuring themselves out. I still think teenagers are more susceptible to pressure, but thank you for pointing out that this isn't always the case.
@@MichiPiano Thanks for sharing your approach. I've been doing better lately. Trauma gets harder to carry as time goes on but I've been fortunate enough to have access to the supports I need to heal.
@@glokkjhit4749 it's not about consent it's abt maturity. Different countries have different laws. But the maturity for humans are the same. 16 is age of consent and 18 is when she is an ADULT. Having consent and BEING AN ADULT is different. Imagine you're 13 and you're asking a 9 year old to drink coffee(for context coffee isn't suitable for 9 year olds.
a 16 year old: worried about grades and what to wear to a party a 20 year old: worried about bills and what job to do it's not 'just 4 years', it's a whole different level of maturity and mindset. it's weird and creepy.
Exactly what ive been trying to say. The age gap isn’t necessarily the problem, its how different they are in maturity. 4 year age gap doesnt sound bad until you put it into minors. 12 and 16 year old, 13 and 17, 16 and 20.
lol i get what you mean but that's a pretty bad example. There are plenty of 20 year old students who's only worries are grades and what to wear to a party. Most of my college days were spent partying and worrying about grades lol.
Most 20 year olds don’t have bills and still worry about what to wear to a party 😂 that’s not the best example. You must be a teenager still, 20 year olds are not that old (but it’s still creepy for them to date high schoolers)
For people saying it’s four years and their parents are four years apart. Nobody really gives a damn when both parties are over 18, because by then you’re both adults. Some people were saying she was 16/17 and he was around 20, not only is it illegal, especially if any sexual activities happen, but both parties will have different maturity levels. Because of this the younger party with less maturity can often feel obligated to not say no to things. This can even not be subjected to just sexual activities. This can include things like drinking, smoking, drugs, and other reckless activities. My parents are few years apart but both met around in their early-mid twenties.
@@Royale..winx..club9 fr a bunch of virtue signalers, this isn’t a 20 year old with some helpless 12 year old girl. she’s old enough to be aware of her decisions, and is obviously happy with this dude
i know these ages aren’t the same but when i was 14 i was with a 18/19 year old. Even after he turned 18 everyone treated him like a normal teen and even said to me that even though he’s 18, he’s not grown yet, and before they found out about us they treated me like i was just the most mature 14 year old on the planet. We were probably mentally on the same level BUT as soon as the adults on both sides of our family found out they shrank me to be this frail little girl and him as a big bad pedophile. Because of the age gap and the fact we obviously were hiding it from our parents i think it was a bad idea, but i think the level of maturity really does matter in a relationship, you can’t be groomed if you’re above the bullshit and besides i started puberty at 10 so it’s not like i had the body of a child either. people always go back and forth too much with this and i hate it
If your reading this, it’s not your fault that this happened but you have to understand that it is not normal for someone in their 20s to date anyone who is underage. Ik you may not understand it right now and you may think I’m being patronising but you are not mature for your age you are being groomed. NO person over 20 or 18 really should have ANY interest in a teen. This can have detrimental consequences on your future and could really hurt you. I hope everything goes well for you and this doesn’t affect you late on in life as it has other girls❤
.. yall are literally so dramatic. So if she was 18 no one would give a shit bc shes an ‘adult’ bruh wt? Its literally just like 3 yr age gap no one dying calm down girliepop
its not the "age gap." it's the "why the hell is this grown man not dating someone at the same stage of life as him, why don't women his age want to date him and visa versa, and instead he's scamming on kids still in high school." Don't twist it, honey. It's creepy no matter how happy he makes you.
It's a terrible age gap when you're a teenager, let alone a fucking minor. I mean, 16? She's way too young to know what tf she's doing here! But old enough to think she does, and that's what's scary about it. It makes these younger girls so much easier to manipulate and that's why these creeps gravitate towards them.
@@xhappyponyxwasmyoldname1395 this. this is what people don't get when they say she was old enough to make her own decisions. this world is full of pedos and people thinking its okay to excuse that shit.
Nope, this is just creepy. This is the same girl that talks about dropping out at 16 right? Where are the adults around her? Why is no one concerned for this girl
@@Mybigbackhurts 80 and 84 is different. A 16 year old's priority is school, a 20 year old's priority can differ but mainly it's taxes and basically adulthood. Additionally, an 80 and 84 year old would mainly focus on their elderly hood so it makes them different.🤷♀️
@@ales95 They are still much different, Like an 11 year old and a 14 year old have different mental capacities. One is still watching things like sponge bob and the other is a TikTok influencer or whatever. One is just learning how to multiply and the other is learning Algebra. They have different trains of thoughts and she is still a child at 17 while he is an adult
@@kim6828 ok. What about 30 and 33 then. About as much logic as when you used 11 and 14 as an example. Obviously you would never have a proper relationship at 11
People saying shes the age consent be misunderstanding the law, the age of consent(16) is for sex with other people around that age, not with literal adults. Until your 18(in most countries) any adult that gets with you can be taken to court for being with a minor. Though, in some countries there's this 3 year rule thing where if your only 3 years apart in age it's okay. Buts its morally wrong if you ask me.
oh honey. you have a big storm coming. i have had friends in this exact situation. they always leave right around when you turn 18 and say its because "you're too young." i hope you have a better support system around you very soon :(
I don’t know the full context of the situation but it sounds like you’re a minor and he’s not. This isn’t some age gap between consenting adults, you are not an adult. Men who get with girls barely legal are not to be trusted.
It’s not the age gap, it’s the fact that your partner is an adult that decided to start a relationship with a child. When you grow older and become independent, you are generally closer to other adults in terms of maturity, but before that point even a year or two can make a significant difference in development.
@@AC-bk1jg except that still doesn’t account for an experience and independence imbalance as well as the fact (aside from girls actually finishing puberty at different ages too) that a 16 year old’s brain (specifically the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for impulse control, prioritizing, and planning) is still very much mid development.
Also, for people defending it saying bs like "she's almost 18" if they are already in a official relationship when she is sixteen how long have they known each other? When did they meet? Did they date in private before???
Because most sane people in their 20s would NOT want to date a 16 year old? It's just weird I'm sorry.. different stages in life and very different levels of maturity, it is just WEIRD. I'm 13 and I now will not even be friends with someone more than a year below my age because again, maturity levels, I don't want them to feel intimidated by me or for the friendship to collapse because they have their own issues. This is just strange I'm sorry.
@lucy mcbride 4 may not seem like much but it is a lot in terms of maturity. She is still a teenager while he's an adult. His brain should be far more developed than hers
Y’all are hating on her but she’s in a happy relationship and in the end if she’s truly happy what you guys have to say means nothing, I’m in a amazing relationship with a guy 3 years younger then me and I wouldn’t change it for the anything in the world and eventually you learn to stop caring about what other people say, stop being jealous and hating on love!!
Please do not normalise this, yeah if you think about the few years between eachother, for e.g. like 3-5 years, but its also the maturity levels and if its illegal or not. Saying you are mature for your age is not a reason to validate it.
Guys. Stop. This comment section is disgusting. She's obviously happy n so is he. Let them be. You only live once live it to your fullest. It's ridiculous. My grandparents were 16 years apart. You love who you love, if you're happy that's that's all that matters. God bless.
@@leaixie no:) I have seen many gay people have hate, I simply feel that she got way too much hate, and that it was unnecessary. I wish I would've worded it differently! My apologies.
As a teen even 19 I didn't understand how creepy this was I'm 22 now and wouldn't date a 20 year old let alone a 17 or 18 year old. And it's not the ages themselves it's that most of us change so much during those years. It's rough as hell so you grow quickly. That being said if he was sheltered, still living at home, and given everything he wanted/didn't have to worry about anything the growth wouldn't be there. That's the only time I think it's a thing that would work, but who would want someone like that anyway. Idk.
If y’all met as adults, that would’ve been a different story. No 20 year old would look at a 16 year old and say “yes, 16 is the perfect age for a 20 year old to date.” If you dated someone who was 24, that would be different because you met AS adults. 4 years isn’t a bad age gap, it’s just a bad age gap if the person is literally a minor. That’s my personal opinion though.
I don’t think people consider 4 years a notable age gap in general. I think what makes people concerned is when someone that graduated high school 2+ years ago are getting into relationships with high school sophomores 💀 like it’s a 2 fold thing too bc at first glance, he looks predatory. On second glance, he just looks like a loser who can’t impress people his own age so he hangs around kids that make him feel cool. It’s just a lot of sad, girl
@@SeaShrimpthere completely right, idk what part of this you don't understand. why are people in there 20s talking to kids in high school? and why are the kids acting like it isn't weird?
@@90sprinceofcrime67 maybe they met at the same party and she did not tell her age at first. She looks to me a bit older so I think she could pass as a 20-25 years old with right make up and attitude. Just one possible reason for example a uni student to talk to a high school student. At least in my country it is not unheard of HS students going to uni student parties.
I am not rooting for anyone’s unhappiness or downfall, but girl… I’ve been in this situation before. You feel mature at this age, but you have a lot to learn, life to live, and brain to develop. One day you will realize this was a bad situation. I only wish you the best. Please stay safe. Nothing but love. ❤
when i WAS and still am 18 i dated someone 4 years older than me. Situation was def different since I was old enough to know about sexual stuff, literally raised my 10 year gap sibs and still is, had to make my own meal, get myself to school, go to the doctors myself, and only have financial support from my parents, but whole life wanted me to be an "individual and independent" that they cant even be around during family events and they make me feel bad for having close friends, that it led me to having no close friends atm. Im not proud of them, but the only thing I was proud of is despite me going to ALL OF THOSE i still had something to learn from him (ex-lover now). Cause we were in a tough situation with racism, toxic strict parents, self traumas, etc. We were basically dealing with a lot of stuff we both have to handle on our own that unfortunately have ended the relationship. If we both wanted it badly, we can take care of our own stuff and finish our shit if we ever get together again. Just do your own stuff and hope that the universe/god gets you back together when you are ready.🙏🏻
In UK the age of consent is 16 and the girl is 17 so technically in the UK where she lives she's an adult. So its legal plus 4 year age gap isn't even much, most parents and adults have that much.
Yeah when I was 16 I had a guy in his early 20’s try and date me and even then I found it weird, and then one time he yelled for something so small and minuscule, and now I’m like, okay so it was just about power & control, okay. Anyway now I’m 19, gonna be 20 this year, and even from 16 to 19 is a HUGE mental shift honestly, the mental change started happening when I turned 19, even my body looks more womanly now than before. Crazy stuff, so now I know why I felt weird and why it was wrong. You lot that are justifying & defending it need to be checked out honestly
@@BiancoIsleDelfino it makes sense now. It makes me sad for people who are young, because you don’t really understand why it’s wrong or bad and I felt wanted in that situation and I had never felt that before, someone liking me, you’re so naive, insecure, and easily manipulated, and I was gonna go into that guys car alone! Thank god he shouted at me and I cut it off.
@@emmastone8779 yeh its normal for a younger person to crush on older people, but its disgusting that adults take advantage of that. I'm glad u were able to get out of that situation
Its not about the age difference its about the brain development and maturity between these ages. 16 is still a minor while 20 is close to being mentally mature. The brain stops developing at the age of 25. Its like if a 13 year old dated a 17 year old, their brain development is just too big of a difference
you guys need to understand that 17 isn’t a child anymore you are out of puberty. Also 17 years old girls are mature than boys at their ages that’s sometimes they don’t want to date boys in their ages. Y’all never went to biology classes…. And it’s Definitely not like 17 and 13 like what are talking about. 20 isn’t grown at all
@@AC-bk1jg Boys and girls at that age dont have much maturity difference, and girls are "more" mature than boys their age because society excepts them to be. Biologically they're not. A 20yo is starting their life while a 16yo didnt even finish highschool. If you were 20yo you would understand how big of a difference there is between you and 16yos
I’ve been there and i didn’t want to accept how wrong it was. After she tried, she will know too. But its not just about the age and maturity, its about different needs and priority.
I was 16 and I’ve been going to this coffee shop during lunch time and the cute barista guy memorized my order. Few weeks later he gives me his cellphone number on a napkin after purposely overfilling my travel. I text him, ask him how old he is. He was 23 & as soon as I told him right away I was 16, he apologized (we both thought the other was 19 LOL) and he promised to not speak to me again, and he apologized for making me uncomfortable. He was really sweet, polite and respectful. That didn’t stop my friends from trying to peer pressure me into going out with him though (saying “but legal age of consent is 16, and you’ll be 18 in two years- less than! Just keep the relationship on the down-low”) I never contacted him again. I’m grateful he didn’t try to take advantage of me, and for him respecting the fact I was still a child. I’m so glad it wasn’t a different man who gave me their phone number.
Also dudes I just realized this but I am TWENTY-THREE NOW!! I can’t even picture myself dating an 18 year old. Anyone says they’re born in 2000 or later I feel like I’m gross. Ugh ugh ugh
MINORS/YOUNG ADULTS⚠️ if an older person is interested in you, you’re not mature for your age. You are not “different from the others”, you’re being groomed. When you’re their age you’ll realize.
As a 21 yr old I don't even look at the college freshmen (17-18 yrs) cause even them who are adults do NOT have my same mindset and life experiences lmao. Most are still thinking about their highschool friends, still shitting around probably getting drunk for the first time and thinking drugs are the shit cause they just got a taste of em -- ya know, a bunch of freshly adult shenanigans. I can't even begin to imagine how disgusting it would be to hit on a highschooler who still hasn't been out in the real world. Not even mature teenagers can compare to actual adults, major life changing transitions happen during these few years, we are worlds different. This is disgusting lol
Two years ago she was 14 and he was 18 😶😢 That’s literally illegal even though he probably had her consent he can still go to jail that sexual interaction with a minor…
In UK the age of consent is 16 and the girl is 17 so technically in the UK where she lives she's an adult. So its legal plus 4 year age gap isn't even much, most parents and adults have that much.
'If we never tried how would we-' commit a terrible idea. You're 16. Not even outta highschool, and you think you've found the one? Maybe you have. Or, hear me out, maybe not everything's like a Disney or other young romance, where the first or second man you lay eyes on are the perfect match. Have you made sure you two both have matching moral values and opinions? Or, if they are different, their not different as in the dude thinks pedophilia is okay, maybe even should be legal. But that's just a hypotherical- oh wait.
I’m a strong believer that people in their 20s who are into teenagers are people who’s maturity hasn’t grown at all since they themselves were a teenager. Teenager maturity and naivety is unattractive as helllll
I know it’s hard to hear these comments saying there’s something wrong with the love you’re feeling right now, and I understand. It feels like everyone telling you it’s wrong is just a hater, or wants you miserable. Maybe no one phrases it well enough, maybe your heart isn’t ready to listen. But as someone who was groomed and got deeply, deeply hurt, please, save yourself from years of pain, even if it hurts to leave now. I was 16, and my now ex-wife was 23 when we met. I’m 25 now and the 6 years I was married have been the hardest of my life. You can’t know now the severity of what you will go through when you allow yourself to be entrained by someone with a predatory mindset. Four years isn’t harmful when your brains are both fully developed. But so much will change for you between now and the time you’re 25, and you’re at a disadvantage, not because of the length of time, but because he is old enough to know better and is still pursuing you despite the fact, and that shows he is willing to break laws, social conventions, and worse, your mind, and your heart. For your own safety.. I would strongly encourage you to leave, before you become trapped
When you’re on your 20s you’ll realize how weird it is to date a teenager. It might not seem like a big difference in age but there certainly is a big difference in maturity.
Exactly, all the people saying it’s no big deal are clearly young. I’m 22 and wouldn’t even date an 18 year old, I was very different as an 18 yr old compared to 22.
As you get a little older it matters much less. Also typically girls are more mature than guys. When I was 25 my gf was 19 and it worked well we were together for 5 years.
@@rdeez5974 Humans regardless of gender are considered fully mature only at the age of 25 scientifically. ‘Girls mature early’ was just a way to get young girls married off early in the olden days…
@@rdeez5974 5 years starting from there or five years until that point? Details matter man. was she 24 when you broke up or 13 when you started going out 💀
@@paula3502 nah bro she was 19 when we met so she was an adult in the eyes of the law but a lot younger than I ever thought I would date but we did really well together.
“goo goo gaga”
70 yr old man: “If we never tried-“
HAHA
Stop 💀
13yo+69 yo if we never tried how will be know- yasss money
Why'd I'd read this in that quandary dingle voice
Nooooo🫢
VICTIM ACTIVITIES 💀💀💀
Fr 💀
She isn’t a victim, in the uk the age of consent is 16!! Shes 17:)
@@JJ-tw9sthe's still an adult and she's still a kid . .? can we use our morals too for a second
@@JJ-tw9st legal does not equal okay
@@morgan_____4290 im sorry, the law comes before your feelings no matter what. I never said it made it okay💀💀 its the law aint nth to do abt it
I’m 23 and not a single cell in my body would think about dating an 18 year old. There is a HUGE difference in maturity
Exactly.
Well that sounds like a you problem. They love each other . I dont see anything wrong with that. If they are happy together then there is nothing wrong. You are 23 and making a minor feel bad about loving someone older then her .
@@anabelkadi9642 pls read your comment and see how dumb you sound😭you literally said a a MINOR💀
she was sixteen no?
@@anabelkadi9642pedo
No sane 20 year old wants to be with a 16 year old. It doesn’t matter how pretty or “mature” you believe yourself to be. It’s not normal. I’m 21 and I feel a bit weird around 19 year olds.
Edit: checking in like a month later (did not expect this to gain traction and my notifs don’t work well fsr) I see a lot of people confused here. I wouldn’t look at a fellow 21 year old and think they’re weird for dating a 19 year old. I just simply don’t find the humor and general air of an average 19 year old to be something I want to be around. Many of them are still clinging to youth (which is normal ), as are 21 year olds but not to the same degree. Nothing Against them you just know who you are compatible with.
Also, you can be mature for your age but not to the extent of a 16 and 20 year old. I dated a 25 year old at 16, so I am bringing a little bit of experience along with the actual knowledge and facts. Nor does it really matter. I think I saw the example of a mentally handicapped person thinking younger than they are..so does that mean a man handicapped at 30 can date a 12 year old in some people’s mind? Sus…
Basically, I can tell most of you by the responses are children or chronically online by the offense taken. You will not hurt my feelings so maybe you should vent your anger elsewhere in a productive manner. I know I am most likely right because I’ve thought *extensively* on this, and I would genuinely discuss this with someone who disagreed if they seemed to actually want to talk rather than throwing a tantrum..but low and behold it seems all responses in disagreement have one thing in common. A lack of ability to control their emotions. So..I really think that says “something”. Have a great day and take a break offline!
She’s 18 in three months she’s not 16
@@ales95 She was 16 when they started dating
Ok that's your opinion and it's objectively wrong. Maturity comes through experience not age, you have no idea what these people have gone through. Therefore you can not properly infer their maturity level at all.
your morality is based on laws, I don't think you think for yourself. which is safe I don't blame you
@@elijah__ And u r a man ofc
It’s not the age gap it’s that he was 20 and you were 16 💀
Edit: ok for everyone commenting “it’s only four years my parents are four years apart” yeah Ik that’s literally what I said I have absolutely no problem with age gap relationships but what I do have a problem with is a man a legal adult being in a relationship with a minor
Depends on the country
In my state its completely normal
Exactly. When I was 20, I had zero interest in anyone with “teen” in their age. I could never look at a high schooler as a potential partner while I was in college.
Edit: Ok, so a couple of people are asking me if I would be interested in a 19 year old when I was 20. I was a college sophomore for the most part when I was 20 and would have been fine with other college sophomores/people who graduated with me that are 19. However, a high school senior who just turned 18 would have been a no for me. Let alone a 16 year old. High schoolers and college students are in way too different points in their life and maturity for me to ever be able to find a justification for them to be romantically involved. If you think the issue between a 16 and 20 year old dating is the age gap and not the fact that an adult is grooming a child, then you really need to reconsider the difference between the two ages.
Dammmm she look older than her age
My parents literally has 7yrs age gap and besties has 12 yrs. Tho they were Arranged marriage. It's normal in India.
@@neisgevauqjjq9558 age gap ain't a thing ,bruh she's 16 , you understand 16 .......
it’s not the age gap it’s that you are 16/17 and he’s in his 20s, literally a MINOR. im sorry girl i hope youre not getting groomed
Stupid bitch she’s grooming him if anything. She lied bout her age most likely at the start lmao
@@flow3r440 wtf
It's legal lmao
@@hhuy4341 it’s disgusting. Just because something is legal,does not make it right,okay,or good. Idk why anyone that age would want to be with someone who’s still practically a child
@@SonotmickeY3626 Your opinion doesn't matter bruv. It's legal
Age is just a number and prison is just a room
@@focus_gaming1438 I live in the UK, my teenage cousin is married to a 35 year old man, just because it's legal doesn't mean it's not grooming/pedophilia
@Focus_Gaming Yeah, it's wack what older generations normalise and allow isn't it
@greenghoul157 yeah but it depends on the situation. I'm 17 and dating a 22 year old, there's no weird power dynamic and we have good communication and we're happy. I don't see any problem with it.
@@gelato420xwtf do you, a high schooler, have in common with a college grad 😂. There’s a reason why he’s going back to look for high schoolers to date….
@@joebidet3606 wdym a college grad what 😭 yall jump to conclusions too fast
Its not the gap babe. I'm 25 and I promise you when you are 20 you will not be able to imagine being attracted to a 16year old. Someone in highschool feels so far removed from you mentally and emotionally by that time its crazy. 16 is a kid. 20 is an adult, albeit a new one. Its just not the same.
@pescado fritoo 15 and 25 is way different than 17 and 21 like what
I'm nearly 19 and I think getting w a 16 year old is crazy 😃
@@alisharahman2709 well you are a girl and 16 year old boys are more underdeveloped than 16 years girls so its bit different
reading the comments and finding out that she’s a minor w a 21 yr old, no babe
👽
She lives in the uk, the age of consent is 16 shes 17. 😊
@@JJ-tw9st that doesn't really matter
@@slowkpop6583 how does that not matter? Y’all really out here trying to catch a case where this legal? Not everything revolves around America..
@@JJ-tw9st LMAO LITERALLY
for the people wondering,
she’s 17 and her bf is 21
if you wanna know more just search her up on famous birthdays and in her description it shows her bf(callum)
@Emily Jane riddle🐍 its still a gap even if it's not big
That’s not bad 👴👍
They got together when she was like 16 tho, and he was 20.. I dunno, this feels kinda off to me 💀.... anyone else??
I mean yeah it is kind of wired but at least it’s not like 20 age gap like other couples
4 years isn't that much yall imagine an 18 year old and 22 year old it's fine 😂
WHOOP WHOOP THATS THE SOUND OF DA POLICE 🚨👮♀️🚔
BRO, I WOULD COMMENT THAT!! ALSO, STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD
@@heyyyyitsjo YESS STRAY KIDS WORLD DOMINATION
LMA00
WHOOP 🙌 WHOOP 🙌
Grooming😊
I am 20, and the fact that any 20 year old would purposefully go out with a minor just disgusts me 🤮 If I went out with someone and found out they were 16, I’d nope outta there faster than a bat outta hell 😂
😭😂
Frr tho...
I just turned 21 a few days ago, and same.
Maybe the age gap is ok with someone who's *at least* in their Late _20s_ but this..... Is way too much
The bat: 🦇
We aren't talking about minors but a 20-25 year old girl and a 30-40 year old man isn't a huge deal
the thing is, they are in a country where the age of consent is 16, so she is not a minor
Girl he’s 21 chasing 17yolds , no we don’t wanna try we don’t wanna know 💀💀
Hes not chasing younger people he literally ran into someone whos aparently 17💀💀 my age gap is 5 years and I think its a beautiful relationship. Let people love.
It’s not really that bad of a age difference
Exactly... How tf did they even meet? Why would a 20 something year old look for a 16 year old, not even out of high school yet
@@riley100 How tf did he ran into her? She literally was only 16 still in high school and mf 20 something year old graduated years ago
He’s 23
it doesn’t really matter if it’s “OnLy 4 yEaRs” *she’s still underage*
Fr also like development mentally u can tell if a person is 17 or like 20 when u talk to them
I don’t really see the problem my mom and dad are like 6-7 years apart
uh.
frrrrrr
@@hannanahkaleem1 the age difference isn't the problem.
Her being a minor dating an Adult is.
Not so fun fact: *it was a crime. She was 16-17 and he was 22-25. She was groomed.*
no in the Uk age of consent is 16 so it is completely legal where they live
@@glass_rock5690 bro wtf....gross.
@@glass_rock5690did you read the part where OP says "she was groomed." bffr
@🐱!! 𝙕0𝙈𝘽0 𝙋4𝙒𝙀𝘿 !!🐱 I am not not on any side ok or not I am just saying that it is legal and that other cultures have other ideals I personally think it's not ok but if they are ok with it then let them
@wannashareataco1351 she just said she was groomed but didn't provide anything to back it up. She just vaguely gestured at an age gap and expected that to do the heavy lifting for her as if one necessitates the other
This is actually repulsive that a grown man is preying on a teen. Trust and believe that you will either regret it or it'll make you sick once your prefrontal cortex is fully developed
👏👏👏👏👏
20, 21, etc is not really fully grown. There’s rather a spectrum of maturity. Some reach mental maturity earlier, some reach physical maturity earlier. In the middle ages and in past centuries it was normal for relationships between teens. Life was short. So calm tf down
You do realize they are in the uk?
@@kirk-hammett Alas, it makes it legal even if it is creepy...
@@tasammich the brain fully develops at age 25, so yes.
“They said it wouldn’t work🥺”
Naw girly they said it was illegal but u didn’t listen ❤
Edit: MY FAULT DAMN I saw comments saying she was 16 and he was 20… that’s illegal where I’m from so chill 😅
facts “they” said he’s a CREEP
no it's not illegal
Not illegal in the UK but we still find it weird and almost predatory.
@@sam_lvlcnrn1492 it's still weird tho
Its not ❤️
Not the flex you think it is 💀 A 21 year old man should _not_ be going after 16-17 year old girls.
Neither 18
Why not?
@@thedave8097underage minor different mentally & in maturity & in life experience. Ain’t nothing wrong with a 4 year age gap, it’s WHEN that’s the issue.
@emmastone8779 I see your point, but also most people I know that have met around those ages are pretty well matched. I think that most 15 year old girls already have more life experience, maybe even sexual experience, when compared to most 20 year old guys. Which is weird to see, but that's the society we live in.
@@thedave8097 Ew no
I was 16 with a 21 year old. Thought he was the nicest dude, we were absolute besties. Broke up with him because of this unexplainable feeling of suffocation. Flashforward I'm 20 now, I live with my same age boyfriend and his little bro is 15. Same age difference as me and my first bf and I'm disgusted at even the thought of being with someone that young. Over the years realised that age gap AT THAT AGE is not okay.
@pescado fritoo firstly I am so sorry and I am so proud of you. I've been there, not just with my first but with strangers, friends, people I thought I could trust and I wasn't able to defend myself either. It is not your fault. it does not define you. It is his fault, it defines him. You are worth so much more than your past. You are worth so much more than how people have treated you.
First, try and think logically (I know it's easier said than done) but someone who did anything with or to a 15 year old at 25 is legally a pedophile. Do not trust his words trust your gut, and the facts.
That means anything you feel is valid, it is understandable, it is expected. Allow yourself to get angry, to be beyond pissed. It's healthy. The world teaches us it's not. But it is better to be angry at a person who deserves it then ourselves. When I realised how disgusting my first experience was I blamed myself. What helped me stop that was realising I was a kid, not capable of consent. I realised, said and wrote down that he was pathetic, disgusting, vile, gross.
He will not say sorry. But I am sorry, because you didn't deserve that, you didn't do anything wrong, you were a victim of a disgusting man and you are now a survivor. keep surviving.
You could report this to the police if you wanted.. other than that call someone, a helpline for women who have survived abuse, Sa, etc. Because that's what it was. They'll validate your emotions, tell you why you feel this way, that anyone would and offer real help because you deserve it.
I'm proud of you, you got this.
i’m sorry that happened to you, glad ur okay tho
My uncle did this, he was happy, they were happy, now he’s in jail
Cap
Tell me u ain't joking. Right?
good end
LOL
@Talibland tell me ur joking right
A literal high schooler is in a totally different life stage from someone in college/trade school and is TWO life stages behind someone with a career.
That’s really true.. SHES IN HS??
Exactly! I’m 21 now and looking back at my 16-17 y/o self… that’s a completely different person. People don’t realize how much minds change and develop between our teens-early 20’s… especially when you’re still a teen!
the difference of being 17 and 20 is crazyy
The age of consent in nigeria is 11, where I live.
@@agasueoeoepp That's so gross. Do people actually do anything like that?
The age gap isn't the probem! But the thing is u are under age...you have to be carful! He's in his 20s and u are barely 17! Issey, we are happy you found someone it's just ur under age and we want u to be careful.
agw of consent is 16 usually
she lives in the uk where the legal age of consent is 16
@@tinas5247 it’s 18 in most places usually
@@pregnantleggies3696 "most places" And "UK" Learn the difference
@@mygod2529 Dude..? Im just saying "usually" cause the age of consent is almost always close to the age of 18
Edit: Do y’all not know what ‘close’ means? 16 is literally two years younger then 18, read my dang comment 💀
16 and 20?? girl thats illegal 💀💀
Actually no not really, believe it or not there’s actually very few places to where the age of consent is 18, for most places is actually 16, even where I live it’s like that, and I’m in the US, 18 is just the age where you’re considered a adult, this shit is still morally wrong tho💀
The age of consent in nigeria is 11, where I live.
@@MichaelDaApe she’s still a teenager babe
it was acc almost a 8 yr diff hes 22-25 i think 😭
Babe my mother and father are 20 years apart 💀
No man who isn't a groomer would get with a 16 year old. They wouldn't even consider a relationship.
How is a 20 year old an adult man when peoples brains fully develop at 25..
@@catacombskull 20 isn't even a teenager, so he counts as an young adult
@@cranburrey its legal so obviously yall are talking about the theoretical stuff so I’m saying theoretically 20 year old is still a dumb child
@@cranburrey wdym 20 isn’t even a teenager???
you guys need to understand that 17 isn’t a child anymore you are out of puberty. Also 17 years old girls are mature than boys at their ages that’s sometimes they don’t want to date boys in their ages. Y’all never went to biology classes….
:/ I feel so bad for this girl because I remember being 14,15,16 and being very physically developed and being told I was “mature for my age” (I was, mostly because I was traumatized - but I was still a child with an undeveloped brain who couldn’t even understand the concept of inappropriate age gaps.) and dating people significantly older than me (19,20,21+) it wasn’t until I reached those ages myself that I realized how warped and predatory these dynamics are. Nobody in this age range should be pursuing/dating minors. It just isn’t okay. And unfortunately she will most likely have to figure this out the hard way
I was trafficked 3 weeks into my adulthood. Escaped it. Unbeknownst to me, enduring abuse is not a sign of maturity. I'm actually quite embarassed of survival mode me, escaping the abuser. You put this so well. I was never mature for my age. Just endured trauma. Children have less rights so it's troubling how children who are abused are treated as their brains are still growing. Absolutely wild.
@@candace3493 I can definitely relate! I’m trying to be more forgiving and protective of my teenage self nowadays and the persona she felt she needed to take on to protect herself. We had no idea. I’m glad you were able to get out of that situation and I truly hope you’re doing well now ❤️
Figuring this out the hard way, by that you mean what. You realize there are people in actually healthy age gap relationships. Not that its common but it doesnt always have to be predatory… yall are so quick to judge and have the nerve to be like “OH NO POOR GIRL”… not everyones as naive as yall were💀
@@catacombskull I can appreciate this point as well. Not that my appreciation alone could invalidate your point. I think where people get concerned is that everyone is capable of abuse, and young people are still figuring themselves out. I still think teenagers are more susceptible to pressure, but thank you for pointing out that this isn't always the case.
@@MichiPiano Thanks for sharing your approach. I've been doing better lately. Trauma gets harder to carry as time goes on but I've been fortunate enough to have access to the supports I need to heal.
“If we never tried who would we know!” 👶🤝👴
@@focus_gaming1438 Fr!!
@@focus_gaming1438 just bc it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s not weird
This is the girl who romanticises dropping out of high school. Anyone else sensing a pattern here?
She also complained having a shit family life as a child. I hate stereotypes, but I’m definitely sensing a pattern
@@guyguy463 I don't get it
“my girlfriend is 32 years younger than me!” -👴🏼
U better be joking
@@lalinabts6695 No, he's not.
They are literally 4 years apart, get over it💀
@@riley100 it's a joke
@@pan8086 Yea I know, but still.
it’s not the age gap, you’re a literal minor with an adult
@qlowingraeeツ under 18 is still a minor outside of America. Minor means not at the age of adulthood, it has nothing to do with the age of consent
@@megansimpson4825 that's not what the top comment meant, he said "it's not the age gap" when infact it is
@@megansimpson4825 that age gap is literally legal in like 99% of the world INCLUDING most states in America
@@glokkjhit4749 it's not about consent it's abt maturity. Different countries have different laws. But the maturity for humans are the same. 16 is age of consent and 18 is when she is an ADULT. Having consent and BEING AN ADULT is different. Imagine you're 13 and you're asking a 9 year old to drink coffee(for context coffee isn't suitable for 9 year olds.
a 16 year old: worried about grades and what to wear to a party
a 20 year old: worried about bills and what job to do
it's not 'just 4 years', it's a whole different level of maturity and mindset. it's weird and creepy.
Exactly what ive been trying to say. The age gap isn’t necessarily the problem, its how different they are in maturity. 4 year age gap doesnt sound bad until you put it into minors. 12 and 16 year old, 13 and 17, 16 and 20.
lol i get what you mean but that's a pretty bad example. There are plenty of 20 year old students who's only worries are grades and what to wear to a party. Most of my college days were spent partying and worrying about grades lol.
Exactly soo trueee
I’m 17… in college. My bf is 21… in college too. We’re worried about the same thing
Most 20 year olds don’t have bills and still worry about what to wear to a party 😂 that’s not the best example. You must be a teenager still, 20 year olds are not that old (but it’s still creepy for them to date high schoolers)
For people saying it’s four years and their parents are four years apart. Nobody really gives a damn when both parties are over 18, because by then you’re both adults. Some people were saying she was 16/17 and he was around 20, not only is it illegal, especially if any sexual activities happen, but both parties will have different maturity levels. Because of this the younger party with less maturity can often feel obligated to not say no to things. This can even not be subjected to just sexual activities. This can include things like drinking, smoking, drugs, and other reckless activities. My parents are few years apart but both met around in their early-mid twenties.
She was a age where she literally couldn't consent. She was a teenager and he was in his 20s. It was literally illegal.
if she uploads a video in a few years saying that she was groomed imma head out-
Y'all go find a safe zone bc I just started WW3
OMG EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING
They are literally together for almost a year or over a year…
bruv the age of consent in the UK is 16 💀
@@Cupidstruelove she’s still a minor and he’s a adult do you not see the issue
@@beniroberts1622 she’s 17 tho- almost an adult ur acting like she’s 9 and he’s 37 😭
Age gaps are fine when you're both adults...in this case she is a child (comments saying she's 16)
im pretty sure she is gonna be 18 in a few months
im sorry girl i hope youre not getting groomed. im 20 and i cant think about chasing after someone 16-17. wtf.
But a 17 year old is only 2 years of a difference tf - just wait 1 year and they’re “LeGAL” like a year makes a difference
@@Royale..winx..club9 fr a bunch of virtue signalers, this isn’t a 20 year old with some helpless 12 year old girl. she’s old enough to be aware of her decisions, and is obviously happy with this dude
@@matthewrodriguez257 frfrrr
i know these ages aren’t the same but when i was 14 i was with a 18/19 year old. Even after he turned 18 everyone treated him like a normal teen and even said to me that even though he’s 18, he’s not grown yet, and before they found out about us they treated me like i was just the most mature 14 year old on the planet. We were probably mentally on the same level BUT as soon as the adults on both sides of our family found out they shrank me to be this frail little girl and him as a big bad pedophile. Because of the age gap and the fact we obviously were hiding it from our parents i think it was a bad idea, but i think the level of maturity really does matter in a relationship, you can’t be groomed if you’re above the bullshit and besides i started puberty at 10 so it’s not like i had the body of a child either. people always go back and forth too much with this and i hate it
@@matthewrodriguez257 shes old enough to think that she knows what shes doing when shes not.
If your reading this, it’s not your fault that this happened but you have to understand that it is not normal for someone in their 20s to date anyone who is underage. Ik you may not understand it right now and you may think I’m being patronising but you are not mature for your age you are being groomed. NO person over 20 or 18 really should have ANY interest in a teen. This can have detrimental consequences on your future and could really hurt you. I hope everything goes well for you and this doesn’t affect you late on in life as it has other girls❤
This is really thoughtfully put. You are absolutely right!
4 years arent always the same....
30/34 is not as dangerous as 16 and 20 (speaking from experience with the second part)
Exactly
Exactly
Adults dating teenagers...or waiting until they are barely legal to, will never fail to creep me out🤣
The only thing is that you’re underaged and you really have to be careful.
.. yall are literally so dramatic. So if she was 18 no one would give a shit bc shes an ‘adult’ bruh wt? Its literally just like 3 yr age gap no one dying calm down girliepop
@@They.Love.Ritaxo EXACTLY EXACTLY LIKE PEOPLE R MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL , like next year she's 18 ? so if she does it then fine wao
@@sinzuuuu ISTG FRRR
just bc ur 18 and technically an adult doesn’t mean you won’t regret decisions
@@beephycakes exactly
its not the "age gap." it's the "why the hell is this grown man not dating someone at the same stage of life as him, why don't women his age want to date him and visa versa, and instead he's scamming on kids still in high school." Don't twist it, honey. It's creepy no matter how happy he makes you.
💀
True-
It’s not a bad age gap- it’s just you were 16 and he was 20-
It's a terrible age gap when you're a teenager, let alone a fucking minor. I mean, 16? She's way too young to know what tf she's doing here! But old enough to think she does, and that's what's scary about it. It makes these younger girls so much easier to manipulate and that's why these creeps gravitate towards them.
@@xhappyponyxwasmyoldname1395 this. this is what people don't get when they say she was old enough to make her own decisions. this world is full of pedos and people thinking its okay to excuse that shit.
@@xhappyponyxwasmyoldname1395 fact
@@lissa._.the age of consent is literally 16 tho
@@xhappyponyxwasmyoldname1395she’s 17 18 in 3 months
*shows a 2 second hug meaning it’s alllll working out perfectly 100% of the time*
“Bro chill age is just a number.“
“Yeah so is 911.💀“
ong bruh😂
Age is just a number though.
But not in this context
honey i been in the exact same situation.. give it a few years you'll understand peoples worry
Nope, this is just creepy. This is the same girl that talks about dropping out at 16 right? Where are the adults around her? Why is no one concerned for this girl
It would be different if he was 18, he is *20* that's another level of mindset. I assure you, no 20 year old would hit on a 16 year old.
People would think 80 and 84 is cute but 16 and 20 is bad? It’s legit just a 4 year gap but I would agree
@@Mybigbackhurts 80 and 84 is different. A 16 year old's priority is school, a 20 year old's priority can differ but mainly it's taxes and basically adulthood. Additionally, an 80 and 84 year old would mainly focus on their elderly hood so it makes them different.🤷♀️
@@thefakepeppa yeah I agree, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s a four year gap but it’s not illegal so it doesn’t matter as much
Girl, it’s not the age gap, it’s the fact that your relationship is literally illegal for a whole other year. He is an adult and your a minor.
It’s not. In the UK age of consent is 16
She’s an adult not a minor she’s 17 and 18 in three months which is an adult here in the uk
@@ales95 They are still much different, Like an 11 year old and a 14 year old have different mental capacities. One is still watching things like sponge bob and the other is a TikTok influencer or whatever. One is just learning how to multiply and the other is learning Algebra. They have different trains of thoughts and she is still a child at 17 while he is an adult
@@kim6828 ok. What about 30 and 33 then. About as much logic as when you used 11 and 14 as an example. Obviously you would never have a proper relationship at 11
@@kim6828 not to mention that brains of people under the age of 25 are still not developed. So a 20 year old is technically still a child.
I’m 21 and I’d never dare date anyone under 20. The maturity different is so SIGNIFICANT. It’s very noticeable how much people learn in just a year.
People saying shes the age consent be misunderstanding the law, the age of consent(16) is for sex with other people around that age, not with literal adults. Until your 18(in most countries) any adult that gets with you can be taken to court for being with a minor. Though, in some countries there's this 3 year rule thing where if your only 3 years apart in age it's okay.
Buts its morally wrong if you ask me.
The age of consent varies in states in texas it’s 17
Plot twist: he is 50
Yeah she is 16 so I’m curious about that age gap 💀
He’s 21
Shes 17 and he's 21, only 4 years 😊
@@lkm630y79 17**
My boyfriend is 31 and I’m 15 i don’t really see the problem even if he was 50
oh honey. you have a big storm coming. i have had friends in this exact situation. they always leave right around when you turn 18 and say its because "you're too young." i hope you have a better support system around you very soon :(
i’ve been exactly where you are (14-18 til 16-20 then he turned 21) run for the hills girl. sending love your way.
Ain’t nobody care about the age gap it’s the fact that you’re a literal minor and he’s a legal adult 💀
@@focus_gaming1438 Legal does not mean it is okay
@@focus_gaming1438 it’s also legal in certain states to fuck a horse.
Should I fuck a horse? …….. Didn’t think so.
“I think people overreact at age gaps, we’re only 23 years apart” - 👴🏻
ONLY 💀💀
IF WE NEVER TRIED-
“She was 13 and I was 31 what’s the problem??”
"age is just a number"
"yeah, and prison is just a room"
Not everything revolves around America chill😭😭
@@kikithewewe I was joking 😂
@@kikithewewe no one was talking about America boy
@@kikithewewe who makes fan art you cringe As hell
@@kikithewewe You know America isn't the only country where the AOC is 18??
I don’t know the full context of the situation but it sounds like you’re a minor and he’s not. This isn’t some age gap between consenting adults, you are not an adult. Men who get with girls barely legal are not to be trusted.
Gonna be hard taking your 17 year old to a bar or any live event late on the weekends when you turn 21
They in the uk its 18
Y’all better keep that same tone when he gets locked up 💀
“They said it wouldn’t work”
No girl they said it’s damn near illegal
It’s not the age gap, it’s the fact that your partner is an adult that decided to start a relationship with a child. When you grow older and become independent, you are generally closer to other adults in terms of maturity, but before that point even a year or two can make a significant difference in development.
It’s the fact that 16 isn’t a child anymore and you are out of puberty. Also Girls Are more mature than boys at that age.
@@AC-bk1jg except that still doesn’t account for an experience and independence imbalance as well as the fact (aside from girls actually finishing puberty at different ages too) that a 16 year old’s brain (specifically the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for impulse control, prioritizing, and planning) is still very much mid development.
Also, for people defending it saying bs like "she's almost 18" if they are already in a official relationship when she is sixteen how long have they known each other? When did they meet? Did they date in private before???
People here after they broke up
👇
“they said it wouldn’t work” no babe they said he was gonna go to jail
Because most sane people in their 20s would NOT want to date a 16 year old? It's just weird I'm sorry.. different stages in life and very different levels of maturity, it is just WEIRD. I'm 13 and I now will not even be friends with someone more than a year below my age because again, maturity levels, I don't want them to feel intimidated by me or for the friendship to collapse because they have their own issues. This is just strange I'm sorry.
I'm 20 in a year's time -- and I can testify!
21 and 16??? GIRL RUN 😭
I was 17 with a 21 year old, I’m now 21 and I could NEVER be with a teenager, the whole relationship was awful
If he’s 20 and your 16 thats not a relationship that’s a crime
@lucy mcbride It is illegal bro..💀
@lucy mcbride 4 may not seem like much but it is a lot in terms of maturity. She is still a teenager while he's an adult. His brain should be far more developed than hers
@lucymcbride7160it is?
She’s not 16 she’s an adult and the age of consent here in the uk is 16 so it’s legal and he can’t be arrested
@@Who-kq7od Not saying anythinng about morality but by law it is not illegal where they live.
Y’all are hating on her but she’s in a happy relationship and in the end if she’s truly happy what you guys have to say means nothing, I’m in a amazing relationship with a guy 3 years younger then me and I wouldn’t change it for the anything in the world and eventually you learn to stop caring about what other people say, stop being jealous and hating on love!!
Unborn child :
84 yr old man : IF WE NEVER TRIED HOW WOULD WE KNOW…? 😍😃❤️
Oh btw if you think 3/4 years was bad..my friends mom and dad are 13 YEARS APART
When she was 13 he was 17 💀
It’s fine when she’s 21 he’ll be 25 and thats not that big of a deal
that's not the ages they met at? what's the issue?
@@thedragonsunicorn the big deal is that she is 16, and her bf is literally 21. She is STILL a minor dating someone over the age of 18 like bfr.
@looneyaep look ik she turns 18 in 3 months but that doesn't matter, I'm talking about the present, not the future. And rn, she is still a minor
@@sba7689 but they met when she was 16 and he was 20-21. That’s disgusting. It matters when they met and the mental gap, not just the numbers
Please do not normalise this, yeah if you think about the few years between eachother, for e.g. like 3-5 years, but its also the maturity levels and if its illegal or not. Saying you are mature for your age is not a reason to validate it.
Guys. Stop. This comment section is disgusting. She's obviously happy n so is he. Let them be. You only live once live it to your fullest. It's ridiculous. My grandparents were 16 years apart. You love who you love, if you're happy that's that's all that matters. God bless.
“i’m not homophobic” *continues to question why people aren’t hating on gay and lesbian people*
@@leaixie no:) I have seen many gay people have hate, I simply feel that she got way too much hate, and that it was unnecessary. I wish I would've worded it differently! My apologies.
@@leaixie Im sorry you feel as I was meaning it in that way and I'll go reword it right now, thank you for letting me know that it came out that way!
Bro It was literally a crime she was under the age of consent while he was in his 20s.
@@levbrielwym under the age of consent, she was 16 when they met.
As someone from the UK - The legal age is 16 but the government still recommends you be over 18 if dating someone over 18❤❤
Have a good day
As a teen even 19 I didn't understand how creepy this was I'm 22 now and wouldn't date a 20 year old let alone a 17 or 18 year old. And it's not the ages themselves it's that most of us change so much during those years. It's rough as hell so you grow quickly. That being said if he was sheltered, still living at home, and given everything he wanted/didn't have to worry about anything the growth wouldn't be there. That's the only time I think it's a thing that would work, but who would want someone like that anyway. Idk.
If he is going out with a minor, its cuz he cant get any women his own age. Its giving pathetic
If y’all met as adults, that would’ve been a different story. No 20 year old would look at a 16 year old and say “yes, 16 is the perfect age for a 20 year old to date.” If you dated someone who was 24, that would be different because you met AS adults. 4 years isn’t a bad age gap, it’s just a bad age gap if the person is literally a minor. That’s my personal opinion though.
I don’t think people consider 4 years a notable age gap in general. I think what makes people concerned is when someone that graduated high school 2+ years ago are getting into relationships with high school sophomores 💀 like it’s a 2 fold thing too bc at first glance, he looks predatory. On second glance, he just looks like a loser who can’t impress people his own age so he hangs around kids that make him feel cool. It’s just a lot of sad, girl
Are you american?
You must be American lmao
You guys are always living in a constant state of pheed0panic.
Get out of your st00pid bubble, american.
What are you on about 😂
@@SeaShrimpthere completely right, idk what part of this you don't understand. why are people in there 20s talking to kids in high school? and why are the kids acting like it isn't weird?
@@90sprinceofcrime67 maybe they met at the same party and she did not tell her age at first. She looks to me a bit older so I think she could pass as a 20-25 years old with right make up and attitude. Just one possible reason for example a uni student to talk to a high school student. At least in my country it is not unheard of HS students going to uni student parties.
I'm 21, and the mindset is worlds apart. You change a lot when you're 20.
You're a child.
I am not rooting for anyone’s unhappiness or downfall, but girl… I’ve been in this situation before. You feel mature at this age, but you have a lot to learn, life to live, and brain to develop. One day you will realize this was a bad situation.
I only wish you the best. Please stay safe. Nothing but love. ❤
when i WAS and still am 18 i dated someone 4 years older than me. Situation was def different since I was old enough to know about sexual stuff, literally raised my 10 year gap sibs and still is, had to make my own meal, get myself to school, go to the doctors myself, and only have financial support from my parents, but whole life wanted me to be an "individual and independent" that they cant even be around during family events and they make me feel bad for having close friends, that it led me to having no close friends atm. Im not proud of them, but the only thing I was proud of is despite me going to ALL OF THOSE i still had something to learn from him (ex-lover now). Cause we were in a tough situation with racism, toxic strict parents, self traumas, etc. We were basically dealing with a lot of stuff we both have to handle on our own that unfortunately have ended the relationship.
If we both wanted it badly, we can take care of our own stuff and finish our shit if we ever get together again. Just do your own stuff and hope that the universe/god gets you back together when you are ready.🙏🏻
I'm honestly really worried, like you dropped out of high school at 16 and pursued a relationship with a 21 year old
16 and 20 is bigger difference than 30 40....
You know why? Because of maturity!
this bc she is literally a minior
In UK the age of consent is 16 and the girl is 17 so technically in the UK where she lives she's an adult. So its legal plus 4 year age gap isn't even much, most parents and adults have that much.
when americans think the legal age is 18 everywhere:
When it fuckin should be. Everything about your brain says you’re still a child.
Weird that it isn’t.
For once I agree with the American way of doing things
@@ashey68 oh interesting I didn't know that, still don't think it should be okay then. Someone who is just barely legal shouldn't be going with a 20yo
Yeah when I was 16 I had a guy in his early 20’s try and date me and even then I found it weird, and then one time he yelled for something so small and minuscule, and now I’m like, okay so it was just about power & control, okay.
Anyway now I’m 19, gonna be 20 this year, and even from 16 to 19 is a HUGE mental shift honestly, the mental change started happening when I turned 19, even my body looks more womanly now than before. Crazy stuff, so now I know why I felt weird and why it was wrong.
You lot that are justifying & defending it need to be checked out honestly
He was a pedo
@@BiancoIsleDelfino it makes sense now. It makes me sad for people who are young, because you don’t really understand why it’s wrong or bad and I felt wanted in that situation and I had never felt that before, someone liking me, you’re so naive, insecure, and easily manipulated, and I was gonna go into that guys car alone! Thank god he shouted at me and I cut it off.
@@emmastone8779 yeh its normal for a younger person to crush on older people, but its disgusting that adults take advantage of that. I'm glad u were able to get out of that situation
Its not about the age difference its about the brain development and maturity between these ages. 16 is still a minor while 20 is close to being mentally mature. The brain stops developing at the age of 25. Its like if a 13 year old dated a 17 year old, their brain development is just too big of a difference
you guys need to understand that 17 isn’t a child anymore you are out of puberty. Also 17 years old girls are mature than boys at their ages that’s sometimes they don’t want to date boys in their ages. Y’all never went to biology classes…. And it’s Definitely not like 17 and 13 like what are talking about. 20 isn’t grown at all
@@AC-bk1jg Boys and girls at that age dont have much maturity difference, and girls are "more" mature than boys their age because society excepts them to be. Biologically they're not. A 20yo is starting their life while a 16yo didnt even finish highschool. If you were 20yo you would understand how big of a difference there is between you and 16yos
"wAAAAAHHHH-👶"
*"if we never try...how will we know!-👴"*
I’ve been there and i didn’t want to accept how wrong it was. After she tried, she will know too. But its not just about the age and maturity, its about different needs and priority.
I was 16 and I’ve been going to this coffee shop during lunch time and the cute barista guy memorized my order. Few weeks later he gives me his cellphone number on a napkin after purposely overfilling my travel. I text him, ask him how old he is. He was 23 & as soon as I told him right away I was 16, he apologized (we both thought the other was 19 LOL) and he promised to not speak to me again, and he apologized for making me uncomfortable. He was really sweet, polite and respectful. That didn’t stop my friends from trying to peer pressure me into going out with him though (saying “but legal age of consent is 16, and you’ll be 18 in two years- less than! Just keep the relationship on the down-low”) I never contacted him again. I’m grateful he didn’t try to take advantage of me, and for him respecting the fact I was still a child. I’m so glad it wasn’t a different man who gave me their phone number.
Also dudes I just realized this but I am TWENTY-THREE NOW!! I can’t even picture myself dating an 18 year old. Anyone says they’re born in 2000 or later I feel like I’m gross. Ugh ugh ugh
@@ahhhhhwahaaaa630 but born in 2000 makes you 22-23 tho...
@@ahhhhhwahaaaa630 facts.
MINORS/YOUNG ADULTS⚠️ if an older person is interested in you, you’re not mature for your age. You are not “different from the others”, you’re being groomed. When you’re their age you’ll realize.
Shes an adult
@@macone.ish4295 I was speaking in general, not about her. If you’re a minor and they say “you’re so mature/special”, you’re a victim.
@@macone.ish4295 I have no clue who this chick is, I’m warning young people and speaking from experience
As a 21 yr old I don't even look at the college freshmen (17-18 yrs) cause even them who are adults do NOT have my same mindset and life experiences lmao. Most are still thinking about their highschool friends, still shitting around probably getting drunk for the first time and thinking drugs are the shit cause they just got a taste of em -- ya know, a bunch of freshly adult shenanigans. I can't even begin to imagine how disgusting it would be to hit on a highschooler who still hasn't been out in the real world. Not even mature teenagers can compare to actual adults, major life changing transitions happen during these few years, we are worlds different. This is disgusting lol
I'm 21 and I have a 36 year old coworker who still talks about HS 💀. He's also hit on me lol but he stopped when I showed I wasn't interested
why are you so pretty it’s unfair 😢
My mom is 32 and my dad is 43, so as long as ur happy it can work ❤
I don't think you should be sharing that
@@HadiaNoorAwan Okay
@@HadiaNoorAwan is it hurting you?
I like guys who are 13-15 older than me 😫🥵
Two years ago she was 14 and he was 18 😶😢 That’s literally illegal even though he probably had her consent he can still go to jail that sexual interaction with a minor…
Not in the UK
In UK the age of consent is 16 and the girl is 17 so technically in the UK where she lives she's an adult. So its legal plus 4 year age gap isn't even much, most parents and adults have that much.
@@softlotus. age of consent does not mean its okay. If the age of consent was 10 would you support an 11yo and 20yo relationship?
They age gap wouldnt have mattered if you were both in your 20s but you’re a minor. Why is a 20 something going out with minors
When people start using the age of consent as a defense you already know something has gone wrong
Romantics :Ages just a number
Me: so is 911
'If we never tried how would we-' commit a terrible idea. You're 16. Not even outta highschool, and you think you've found the one? Maybe you have. Or, hear me out, maybe not everything's like a Disney or other young romance, where the first or second man you lay eyes on are the perfect match. Have you made sure you two both have matching moral values and opinions? Or, if they are different, their not different as in the dude thinks pedophilia is okay, maybe even should be legal. But that's just a hypotherical- oh wait.
for me as a 21 old woman I would never ever date a 17 years old kid
I’m a strong believer that people in their 20s who are into teenagers are people who’s maturity hasn’t grown at all since they themselves were a teenager. Teenager maturity and naivety is unattractive as helllll
I know it’s hard to hear these comments saying there’s something wrong with the love you’re feeling right now, and I understand. It feels like everyone telling you it’s wrong is just a hater, or wants you miserable. Maybe no one phrases it well enough, maybe your heart isn’t ready to listen.
But as someone who was groomed and got deeply, deeply hurt, please, save yourself from years of pain, even if it hurts to leave now.
I was 16, and my now ex-wife was 23 when we met. I’m 25 now and the 6 years I was married have been the hardest of my life.
You can’t know now the severity of what you will go through when you allow yourself to be entrained by someone with a predatory mindset.
Four years isn’t harmful when your brains are both fully developed. But so much will change for you between now and the time you’re 25, and you’re at a disadvantage, not because of the length of time, but because he is old enough to know better and is still pursuing you despite the fact, and that shows he is willing to break laws, social conventions, and worse, your mind, and your heart.
For your own safety.. I would strongly encourage you to leave, before you become trapped