The middle child usually is the most observant, as they get to notice things that are easily overlooked by everyone else. Or so that was my cousin's experience, at least.
@@trinaq Ah, so he became an accountant to finally get some attention for his "skills"? Sounds like the perfect way to stand out when you're sandwiched between two sisters.
The eldest is often very observant as they have to look after the younger siblings and often grow earlier than the rest due to their sense of responsibility
i’m painfully stereotypical as a middle kid: academically gifted, band nerd, black sheep, my older & younger sisters were both popular cheerleaders and younger sis was also the ballet dancer. i was always ‘so-and-so’s sister’, learned to be quiet so my more outspoken siblings could get what they needed. at 26 i was diagnosed autistic and adhd, and unfortunately also cptsd after going my whole life undiagnosed/unaccommodated. it makes so much of my life make so much sense and my psychiatrist has been incredibly helpful in managing my symptoms ❤
You’re showing incredible strength by coming to terms with these challenges and receiving diagnoses that finally explain so much of your life. It’s a huge accomplishment to find support and professional help, and I’m confident that with your approach and determination, you’ll be able to handle any obstacles. Wishing you the best of luck on this journey - may each step bring you closer to a more peaceful and balanced life! You’re strong, never forget that. 💙
@@T.U.G._Alétheon thank you 🙁 i’ll be honest it was a struggle to overcome the feeling of bitterness and *rage* when i first got diagnosed; i knew something was Off about me my whole life but no one believed me when i tried to explain myself or ask questions. i was beaten and abused for what were symptoms of my disabilities, not personality flaws/choices. i can’t sleep without medication or i suffer night terrors (screaming, punching, kicking my partner, me waking up terrified), can’t be awake without a substance. there’s a lot of good in life i’ve found and built, i want to be here now that i’m in control of my own life but DAMN i almost didn’t make it 😅
as the middle child who is the only one living in a different state of the country and who grew up as an overachiever... this resonates especially the part about being able to have a broader perspective of the family. i was the first one to get therapy, managed to get my little brother to do it too and also convinced my older sister
Well, maybe it's not as bad as you're making it out to be. Perhaps you should just try solving the problem with alcohol - relax, forget everything, and enjoy the moment.
I'm the stereotypical middle child. I have anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, smarter than my siblings. My sister was a star ballot dancer, and my brother was super hyperactive. She got the praise he got the attention.
Well, maybe you're just too focused on being the "middle child" and not realizing that your problems and feelings are more a result of your perception than reality. We all face difficulties, but sitting and making excuses with the "middle child syndrome" probably won't help.
I’m the middle child, my dad a middle child (also with an older brother and younger sister) and his dad a child of many. Every now and then I’d get a wink, a nudge, A free pass or a “just don’t tell x”. Only ever by them. Despite having little else in common… As we know well, a middle child is only usually advocated for by the middle child. I was just lucky there was another in the house, I suppose!
Being the oldest and being the youngest each have their own unique set of benefits and drawbacks. Statistics show that first borns usually have higher I.Q.'s than their younger siblings. That is a benefit to being the oldest sibling, that middle kids and last borns will not experience. However, being the oldest is not all rainbows and lollipops. Oldest siblings are sometimes parentified. Furthermore, oldest siblings often struggle to share mom and dad's love and attention with a new arrival. You do not have to worry about this as a youngest sibling. When you are the middle child, it is the worst of both worlds. The burden of looking after your youger sibling(s) is placed on your shoulders (as is the case withe the oldest) but unlike the oldest, you never got to experience being an only child. Obviously being parentified is an issue for first borns just as much as it is for middle kids if not more, but at least the oldest gets to be left in charge when mom and dad are not home. You experience the responsibility without the freedom and power when you are the middle child.
It seems like you're too fixated on your role in the family and how you feel you lack attention and privileges. Sure, it's tough - being the middle or oldest child - but that doesn't justify getting stuck in these feelings. You talk about the "parentified" role of the oldest, but doesn't that make you question your own independence? And why are you so focused on what you didn’t get, thinking you should have? That just strengthens your role as the "responsibility bearer" in the family, rather than as an individual. You say you feel a lack of freedom, but maybe it's not that you don’t have it, but rather that you don't know how to claim it? Perhaps it's time to look at these feelings from a different perspective and try to find your own path, instead of staying stuck in old roles.
So, I’m a middle child that also has Eldest Daughter Syndrome even though I’m not the eldest daughter. There are only 3 of us but there are 8 years in between each of us. 2 older girls and 1 younger boy because my parents were the parents who kept trying until they got a boy. Everyone remembers my older sister because she has a big personality and everyone remembers my little brother because he was such a surprise but I’ve had cousins who forgot I even existed. I was a smart, well behaved kid that could entertain myself so I was often left alone. It made me extremely independent and curious and I was always “mature for my age” After our dad died, I stepped up and became an additional parent to my little brother, financially and emotionally. Now as an adult, my family has shifted a lot of responsibility to me. A lot of times it feels like I am the eldest because everyone knows if the crap hits the fan, I will handle it. It feels great that everyone believes in me so much but it also feels draining and I sometimes feel like my siblings use my responsibility as a reason to not take responsibility for different things. For example, both of my siblings have decided that I’ll be the one who gets our mother when she’s too old to live on her own. Or how I took on the renovation and restoration of our parents historic house that’s been with us for 3 generations even though my sister and her husband would have financially been better suited for the task. It’s a 6 bedroom house. They have 5 kids and I’m unmarried and have no children but they didn’t want to take on the renovation. Both of my siblings also used the idea of me having the house as the reason our mother will be with me as she ages. I know they’ll come over and help and give me money to take care of our mom but it sometimes feels like a lot when everyone automatically assumed and then told me to my face that I would be the one who took mom in.
Sounds like you need to have a conversation about boundaries and respect with your siblings. Its not about you not wanting to take care of your mom, but more of it should've been a conversation between the 3 of you to determine what works best for all of you. I'm sure you'll happily take it on, but they shouldn't assume. Your voice matters too. Especially if you're the one take it all on for the family. 💜
@ Yes. I actually agree but it’s easier said than done. Especially if I don’t want it to sound like I don’t my mom to stay with me. I think my mom is aware of some of it because she’s always pushing me to live in the house on my own for the first few years after the renovation is completed but it wouldn’t financially make sense. I’d just be paying my bills and her bills. Again, I know my siblings would help but how much money are they really going to put into that situation. Probably not enough.
Percy Weasley is an interesting take on this trope. He definitely fits the “genius middle child” part of it, and while there’s no evidence of emotional distance on Arthur and Molly’s part, the fact that he disowned his family for almost two years over political differences and perceived lack of money/ambition shows just how much he wanted to stand in his own right.
Speaking as the quote unquote "baby" I was never afforded these luxuries you speak of, I was actually treated as the one who all of the pressure was put on to "do good" while my 5+ year old brother was coddled. I will say one thing about us "babies" we tend to be the rebellious ones though. True for me, and many I know. We also are the ones (well rounded or not) who end up being unique and rather different from our f*ck*d up families.
That's what I was saying about my little sister. She's the youngest out of the four of us and didn't like being compared by me by teachers since I was the one that got good grades at school as well as our mom who expected her to be more responsible with her money like me and our older sister.
It also depends on gender. A girl between two boys or a boy between two girls can be massively different from other middle children. An example is Sue Heck from the Middle who always had her parents attention and worry more than her two brothers or Albert Ingals on Little House on the Prairie who was given all his fathers praises shortly after adoption.
Another example would be Lincoln Loud from The Loud House. cause not only is he the middle child of his family but is also the only boy dominated by girls.
Thanks so much for watching! If you're a Middle Child, which on screen middle child do *you* most relate to? ➡Make sure to check out our other videos on sibling struggles: Eldest Daughter Problems ( ua-cam.com/video/h8vQmK6F4as/v-deo.html ) and Only Child Syndrome ( ua-cam.com/video/fi6h06kP6dE/v-deo.html )
@@queenemma5823Hmm, they did an eldest video, and middle video, so nope! Looks like they're not going to ever do youngest I guess! It doesn't seem like they're going in order or anything! 😂 You're definitely the youngest child lol
Honestly, the first middle child I ever actually liked was Corey Matthews from Boy Meets World, but the onscreen middle child I identify with most is actually Piper Halliwell from the original Charmed series
I don’t relate to a lot of this, because while I was the middle child, I was also the oldest daughter, so I was still expected to be the responsible one. And I wasn’t academically gifted. I struggled academically until my older brother moved out of the house because I was living in survival mode until then, due to his constant (ignored) physical and emotional abuse. Definitely was ignored, overlooked and the black sheep, but I can’t relate to any of the positive outcomes listed.
@@PrincessLioness Dick Grayson was the first so the big bro the gold standard, Jason was next in line, Tim was the one who actively chose to be Robin after Jason died. And that was the status quo for a long time until Damian. Even still Jason is still the most well rounded the one who doesn’t have a standout trait like his ‘brothers’ do. Dick has charisma and leadership, Tim is the most brilliant even Batman envies his detective skills, and Damian is the most skilled warrior.
Was the middle child until my parents got divorced always thought Id get more attention from them after they separated then when my mom got married to my step dad I got two step siblings and a half brother always felt neglected and felt like I had to raise and take care of myself always felt like they never had time for me unless it was about school or sports
Middle child *raises hand*. Two older brothers, a year apart and two twin younger sisters (much worse them being twins.). So my two brothers would stick together and my two younger sisters would stick together and I was just kinda there 🙈
I feel that, but I have an older sister and younger sister. They tend to stick together better than I will with them ever. It doesn’t help that they have more common interests than they do with me, but hey solitude is great here and there.
I was the baby for 11 years, the middle child for 8 years and the oldest for the last 15 years. Hands down being the middle child was the absolute worst. With a sick older sister and a little baby I was like a ghost in my house. An over achieving ghost but a ghost nonetheless.
Edith was such a bitter and sad character in the beginning of Downtown Abbey, it was so easy to dislike her. She meddled in Mary’s business, acted like a wannabe and was mean for no apparent reason. But when you realize she really was often overlooked, this explained her behavior a lot. By a certain point of the series, she the worst things happen to her and she thrives in a beautiful way. By the end you’re thinking “Goodness writers, I just want Edith to be happy. Can you throw a bone here?”. Thankfully she does, and how.
Honestly surprised that Lisa Simpson wasn’t featured here. True, she’s been analyzed to death in other places, but she would’ve been a perfect fit for this video.
Middle children grow up with the least support. Many end up failures because of this but the ones who can flourish despite the obstacles end up better than anyone they are related to and overcome and surpass the limitations of their family.
That's weird because in my family (i.e. me, my family, and my siblings) it's kind of my little sister that get ignored since she's the youngest. I'm the middle child out of three daughters and we all have an older brother. My older sister is 33, I'm 32, and my little sister is 30. For context, when parents get busy trying to rangle children, they usually forget that the youngest is there because they're so busy taking care of the older children and stressing out how to be parents. Also my older sister was the one that got the baby shower, even after she got born, while my little sister and I didn't get a baby shower at all. There are more baby pictures of my older sister out of the three of us and my little sister has only a couple since she's the oldest. So I would argue that the YOUNGEST is the "ignored" and "forgotten" one in the context of early childhood. Not to mention that our little sister didn't like having to be compared by me since we went to the same schools as each other while our older sister went to a vocational school since I get better grades and was an honor student. So teachers were probably expecting her to be like that and even our mom and grandmother expected her to be like me and my older sister (more responsible with money, get good grades, pick up skills easily). The point is that even though I am technically the middle child, I didn't receive any of the stigma that you would typically see with the middle child in popular media since I always thought that the youngest child would get the brunt end of being compared by the older siblings' achievements and trying to live up to their standards. Even when you take my family out of the equation, you do see this kind of dynamic when it's the YOUNGEST SIBLING who gets forgotten in popular media like Ming on the show Duncanville when her parents focus on Duncan (eldest child) and Kimberly's (the middle child) fighting so much that they would always forget that she exists, even though she is the youngest. Another example is Mirabel from Encanto, she's the youngest sister and she felt like she was forgotten because she's the only one in her family without a gift and you can clearly see it in the movie while Luisa (the middle child) gets appreciated and seen how she helps out in the village and how Isabella (the oldest) is seen as the perfect one with the best manners as well as the smartest.
I’m really surprised the Halliwell sisters were not mentioned. Piper is an excellent case study. The Halliwell sisters are defined by their trauma: their mother drowned, their father abandoned them and they were raised by their man-hating grandmother until she died of natural causes. Piper always made herself small; always on the bottom of the priority list, always made herself useful but invisible. She always wanted to be a support for Prue and never trouble like Phoebe. Piper is the plainest sister, but she is also the most eligible. Prue is so serious, professional, always has her guard up ready for a fight. She’s practically a man. Phoebe is flirty and man-hungry and she doesn’t take dating seriously. Piper has a passion for cooking, being a domestic figure feeding her family. Her humble timid nature has men lining up to date her. She’s always getting down on herself, telling herself she’s unlucky in love, but the truth is she is afraid of love and happiness just for the possibility of losing it all. Why get married if he’s just gonna leave you? Why have children if you’re just gonna die on them? In the end, she scored a literal angel as a husband and had two beautiful exceptionally gifted boys. She excels as a wife and mother, she leads her entire family by example and she got the happily ever after she told herself she didn’t deserve.
This is going to be a personal rant so feel free to skate on by and enjoy the rest of the comments, there are a lot of really cool ones. I've watched the eldest child episode and now I've watched the middle child episode and i can't help but feel after reading so many comments in both videos that, i just don't have a regular family. Because my older brothers and sisters don't act at all like how most older siblings act and the same goes for the middle children. I'm the youngest and i never got all the love and attention, always being taken care of an babied. I was always left alone and ignored, if anything my older sister was given everything and moon all the time, nothing i did was good enough and nothing i did was ever praised. when ever i did do something i felt was right for me i was treated poorly because of it, it made it hard to establish boundaries through out my life because I'm always trampled on. I wish i could watch these videos and feel seen but i just can't.
You have a different dynamic because yours is not typical. Gleaning from your statement, your family revolves around your older sister (is she the eldest, by any chance?) - it might be a case of some form of narcissistic tendencies going on within your family dynamic (Golden Child / Scapegoat Child / Invisible Child). I feel you, you are not alone. Carry on and do your own thing and be brilliant! 😉 ~ from a middle child / truth seer / scapegoated (black sheep & proud) adult child of that kind of family
I feel that my family dynamic is kind of opposite to the stereotype. I am the youngest of 3 kids of straight boomer parents so you’d think we’d fit into the typical archetypes. But we don’t. My mom had her first son with her hs bf who was not a good person and she escaped him with my half brother a year later. Then she put herself through college and grad school while working as a single mom. My oldest brother has ADHD and unfortunately absorbed a lot of the toxicity from his dad’s influence and was a very troubled child, getting detention, bad grades, and being a bully despite my mom’s best efforts. My mom met my dad when she was 25 and they married 2 years later. My second brother was born in ‘96 when my half brother was 10 and I was born in ‘98. I’m the only girl. My dad did his best with my oldest brother, but he continued to be very troubled. He was constantly in trouble, he barely managed to keep his grades high enough to stay on the swim team, and by the time he graduated, my mom had sent him to live with his dad multiple times because she had found him being physically abusive to his dog and to me and my other brother. Later, he went to college on a swim scholarship. He’s married now to an equally heinous wife and I haven’t spoken to him in years because he’s literally the impetuous of my PTSD. My second brother is really smart and creative and he’s a talented musician and athlete. He’s also a space cadet and too trusting and by high school, his previously successful academics were failing, he was really depressed due to this, and was being influenced by really awful people in his friend group. My parents were more strict and vigilant after my oldest brother’s misbehaving, but he brought it to a whole new level. He had a possession charge by age 17 and got expelled and barely passed getting a GED when he had previously been getting straight A’s at a college prep academy. By the time I, the only girl, came along, my parents were extremely strict and they expected perfection. While my older brother was allowed to go unchaperoned with his friends at 12, I was only allowed to go unchaperoned with my friends at 16. When my dad taught my half brother to drive at 14, and let him go driving alone with only a permit, my parents wouldn’t let me drive alone until I’d had my license for over a year. My grades were better than my brothers. I studied more than my brothers. I had more extracurriculars than my brothers. At 19, my oldest brother had a torn rotator cuff, no swim scholarship, and was flunking out of college. At 19, my middle brother was taking a class at ASU (and failing) and working at a circle K and giving Bob Marley a run for his money. At 19, I graduated with 4.0 GPA with honors, matriculated to cu Boulder with a full ride, had danced professionally with ballet Austin for 6 months while finishing my junior year of hs online until a broken spine ended my ballet career (but I still managed to make varsity swim my senior year), and had gotten an internship at the German embassy as translator. Today, I and my partner rent a house together. It’s super clean and I’m an amazing vegan home cook, I’ve rescued 3 cats, I’ve sold a cook book, I speak 3 languages, and I’m a successful yoga instructor. Oh, and I do fitness modeling on the side for extra cash. My brothers are both total messes the oldest keeps getting fired from jobs that have nothing to do with his expertise because he’s a jerk, his wife is the meanest person I’ve ever met, and he is incapable of being in a room with me without insulting my appearance or lifestyle for longer than 5 minutes. My other brother just got a DUI, is taking horrible care of himself, and I have to go to his house once a week to bring him healthy food and clean up his house because otherwise he just eats fast food and leaves everything dirty. And do you want to know who my parents constantly pester about not living up to their expectations? Me. “Why did you leave the church?” “Why aren’t you dating a nice Mormon boy” “If you insist on being with that Persian heretic, can’t he at least marry you?” “When will you have babies?” “I miss when you weren’t vegan” “Its sweet that you took 3 years to veganize the family cook books, but it’s just not as good. Can’t you just use real meat and dairy when you cook thanksgiving dinner?” “You had such a promising career in interpretation, I’ll never understand why you gave up on your degree to be a yoga teacher. Oh it’s because you were diagnosed with PTSD and social anxiety and your therapist recommended that you don’t pursue a career that requires traveling all the time and talking to people all over the world including diplomats, military leaders, and traveling to war zones? Well, I don’t know if therapy is all that, maybe if you prayed more you’d me more comfortable interpreting for natural gas executives in Switzerland.” “When are you going to have grandkids? You’re not getting any younger!” I’ve talked to one of my brothers about this. He doesn’t get ANY of the same pressure. And he feels really bad for me and even a little guilty because he thinks that if he’d been a little more successful, my parents would put less pressure on me. I might be the youngest. And I might even be my parents’ favorite. But I have all the responsibilities and expectations. When I told my mom that my career goal with my partner was to buy a ranch in Montana and turn it into an animal sanctuary, she said “make sure there’s a room in the house for me!” She expects that I’m the one who’s going to take care of her. Which is fine, I love my mom, but also… haven’t I done enough?
Yes I wish they talked about the last hope trope more. Youngest children only get to be carefree if their older siblings aren’t considered screw ups. I had friends in high school who were over achievers because they were seen their parents last hope for a successful child.
As a Southeast asian Middle child, I found joy in invisibility..i like my own company too much.. having a husband who is the eldest still finds it weird..
I'm here, but at the same time I wasn't really forgotten out of the my family. It's more likely my little sister since she's the youngest out of the four of us that would get forgotten since there are more baby pictures of our older sister than her. She also gets compared to me since we go to the same school by teachers since I get the best grades in class and she sometimes feel inadequate since she's not as smart as me and our older sister.
And none of it is true to life. At least it's not a rule. Oldest child can be the most responsible. But also forgotten since younger is born. Or they might have a personality of their own not really influenced by order of birth. Or firstborn might be the only kid in all extended family for a while, so it's everybody's baby. Then some other relative has kids and now the position is taken away. And usually kids are different genders, while our society is sexist
I always thought that the youngest would get forgotten since our older sister was the one that got the most baby pictures in our house and she was the only one that got a baby show. Meanwhile, our little sister only has a handful of baby pictures and there are times that our parents would forget that she existed a few times as a child.
This video got so many things wrong. I am so sick and tired of the eldests being portrayed as the one who grows up too fast and carries all the burden, the broken one, etc and the youngests as the ones with the sweet spot and all the love. From this video one would think the world is soo black and white, when the reality of so many eldests and youngests is soo different. While so many eldests do deal with too much too early on, many of them abandon their responsibilities, many of them do lack maturity, many of them are a nightmare sibling, not a saint. Yes, many of them are so caring and helpful etc, many of them couldn't care less, many of them use the eldest position as a priviledge ( not the youngest ! ). I am so tired of especially eldest daughters pretending like all of them are the only traumatised and broken family member, many of them had a normal family and they will never admit it, never. The youngests on the other hand get so much rep as a nightmare child, as a slacker, as the one who gets away with everything. Especially youngest boys are always stereotypicaly dumb. This is unfair, because many of them end up having to gather the pieces after the eldest if it's 2 of them. Many of them get told to do the eldest's chores, many of them end up in the shadow, many of them are brilliant and many of them are just as traumatised as the eldests and are just as much of a solid rock and an angel as the eldests. See, I say this as a middle child. Life is not black and white, not all families are the same, not all sibling dynamics are the same as one would think from this video, given it only mainly focuses on 2 things and the battered ones as well. Middle children aren't just the " overlooked ones " or " overachivers for attention / neglect " etc. While I agree that we do get a confusing feedback this video just further adds to the echochamber of middle children only having the same 3 struggles / mutual experience. We are much more than just the sibling who didn't get the stick, there's much more that impacts us in good and bad ways.
I want to became a content maker but im too afraid to tell my parent because my parent have a bad Relenstionship with devices and yet so sensetive about Contents but i dont want to give it up the internet give me happyness more than my parent give me What should i do??? ❤️🩹🥲
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The middle child usually is the most observant, as they get to notice things that are easily overlooked by everyone else. Or so that was my cousin's experience, at least.
It's interesting that your cousin's "observational" skills are so well-developed, yet he still ended up as the middle child.
@T.U.G._Alétheon Yep, he's the only boy between two sisters, and he grew up to be an accountant, which is all about noticing details.
@@trinaq Ah, so he became an accountant to finally get some attention for his "skills"? Sounds like the perfect way to stand out when you're sandwiched between two sisters.
@@T.U.G._Alétheon Yes, precisely. They're more loud and creative, while he balanced them out by being quieter and logical.
The eldest is often very observant as they have to look after the younger siblings and often grow earlier than the rest due to their sense of responsibility
i’m painfully stereotypical as a middle kid: academically gifted, band nerd, black sheep, my older & younger sisters were both popular cheerleaders and younger sis was also the ballet dancer. i was always ‘so-and-so’s sister’, learned to be quiet so my more outspoken siblings could get what they needed. at 26 i was diagnosed autistic and adhd, and unfortunately also cptsd after going my whole life undiagnosed/unaccommodated. it makes so much of my life make so much sense and my psychiatrist has been incredibly helpful in managing my symptoms ❤
You’re showing incredible strength by coming to terms with these challenges and receiving diagnoses that finally explain so much of your life. It’s a huge accomplishment to find support and professional help, and I’m confident that with your approach and determination, you’ll be able to handle any obstacles. Wishing you the best of luck on this journey - may each step bring you closer to a more peaceful and balanced life! You’re strong, never forget that. 💙
@@T.U.G._Alétheon thank you 🙁 i’ll be honest it was a struggle to overcome the feeling of bitterness and *rage* when i first got diagnosed; i knew something was Off about me my whole life but no one believed me when i tried to explain myself or ask questions. i was beaten and abused for what were symptoms of my disabilities, not personality flaws/choices. i can’t sleep without medication or i suffer night terrors (screaming, punching, kicking my partner, me waking up terrified), can’t be awake without a substance. there’s a lot of good in life i’ve found and built, i want to be here now that i’m in control of my own life but DAMN i almost didn’t make it 😅
You're absolutely awesome, girl!
as the middle child who is the only one living in a different state of the country and who grew up as an overachiever... this resonates
especially the part about being able to have a broader perspective of the family. i was the first one to get therapy, managed to get my little brother to do it too and also convinced my older sister
Oh, you're a real manipulator! But I must admit, you handle the situation well.
To be fair the youngest does get infantilized and our older siblings resent us for things our parents did
Well, maybe it's not as bad as you're making it out to be. Perhaps you should just try solving the problem with alcohol - relax, forget everything, and enjoy the moment.
Great video. I can't believe Lisa Simpson was left out - classic middle child 🙂
I'm the stereotypical middle child. I have anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, smarter than my siblings. My sister was a star ballot dancer, and my brother was super hyperactive. She got the praise he got the attention.
Moooddd
Well, maybe you're just too focused on being the "middle child" and not realizing that your problems and feelings are more a result of your perception than reality. We all face difficulties, but sitting and making excuses with the "middle child syndrome" probably won't help.
As a middle child my family forgot about doing anything for my birthday for about 8 years straight... I cashed it in for a motorcycle at 17yrs old.
As a middle child this is very true in my life. Lisa Simpson, Laura and Malcolm got me through childhood.
I'm sure it developed in you the ability to seek comfort in fictional characters because the real world wasn't always that attentive.
There’s also Lincoln loud.
I’m the middle child, my dad a middle child (also with an older brother and younger sister) and his dad a child of many.
Every now and then I’d get a wink, a nudge, A free pass or a “just don’t tell x”. Only ever by them. Despite having little else in common…
As we know well, a middle child is only usually advocated for by the middle child. I was just lucky there was another in the house, I suppose!
ooo thats like me my dad was also the middle child, but he has two brothers not one brother and one sister.. im also the middle child :D
I’m the middle child and it’s awesome. My sister and brother are my best friends
Same!! ❤😊
I’m the youngest and my siblings are my favorite people ever!!
It feels weird having “Stuck in the Middle” in the title, but not talking about the show “Stuck in the Middle”.
Wonder why they changed it. That's a much better title.
Being the oldest and being the youngest each have their own unique set of benefits and drawbacks.
Statistics show that first borns usually have higher I.Q.'s than their younger siblings. That is a benefit to being the oldest sibling, that middle kids and last borns will not experience. However, being the oldest is not all rainbows and lollipops. Oldest siblings are sometimes parentified. Furthermore, oldest siblings often struggle to share mom and dad's love and attention with a new arrival. You do not have to worry about this as a youngest sibling.
When you are the middle child, it is the worst of both worlds. The burden of looking after your youger sibling(s) is placed on your shoulders (as is the case withe the oldest) but unlike the oldest, you never got to experience being an only child. Obviously being parentified is an issue for first borns just as much as it is for middle kids if not more, but at least the oldest gets to be left in charge when mom and dad are not home. You experience the responsibility without the freedom and power when you are the middle child.
It seems like you're too fixated on your role in the family and how you feel you lack attention and privileges. Sure, it's tough - being the middle or oldest child - but that doesn't justify getting stuck in these feelings. You talk about the "parentified" role of the oldest, but doesn't that make you question your own independence? And why are you so focused on what you didn’t get, thinking you should have? That just strengthens your role as the "responsibility bearer" in the family, rather than as an individual.
You say you feel a lack of freedom, but maybe it's not that you don’t have it, but rather that you don't know how to claim it? Perhaps it's time to look at these feelings from a different perspective and try to find your own path, instead of staying stuck in old roles.
So, I’m a middle child that also has Eldest Daughter Syndrome even though I’m not the eldest daughter. There are only 3 of us but there are 8 years in between each of us. 2 older girls and 1 younger boy because my parents were the parents who kept trying until they got a boy. Everyone remembers my older sister because she has a big personality and everyone remembers my little brother because he was such a surprise but I’ve had cousins who forgot I even existed. I was a smart, well behaved kid that could entertain myself so I was often left alone. It made me extremely independent and curious and I was always “mature for my age” After our dad died, I stepped up and became an additional parent to my little brother, financially and emotionally.
Now as an adult, my family has shifted a lot of responsibility to me. A lot of times it feels like I am the eldest because everyone knows if the crap hits the fan, I will handle it. It feels great that everyone believes in me so much but it also feels draining and I sometimes feel like my siblings use my responsibility as a reason to not take responsibility for different things.
For example, both of my siblings have decided that I’ll be the one who gets our mother when she’s too old to live on her own. Or how I took on the renovation and restoration of our parents historic house that’s been with us for 3 generations even though my sister and her husband would have financially been better suited for the task. It’s a 6 bedroom house. They have 5 kids and I’m unmarried and have no children but they didn’t want to take on the renovation. Both of my siblings also used the idea of me having the house as the reason our mother will be with me as she ages. I know they’ll come over and help and give me money to take care of our mom but it sometimes feels like a lot when everyone automatically assumed and then told me to my face that I would be the one who took mom in.
Sounds like you need to have a conversation about boundaries and respect with your siblings. Its not about you not wanting to take care of your mom, but more of it should've been a conversation between the 3 of you to determine what works best for all of you. I'm sure you'll happily take it on, but they shouldn't assume. Your voice matters too. Especially if you're the one take it all on for the family. 💜
@ Yes. I actually agree but it’s easier said than done. Especially if I don’t want it to sound like I don’t my mom to stay with me. I think my mom is aware of some of it because she’s always pushing me to live in the house on my own for the first few years after the renovation is completed but it wouldn’t financially make sense. I’d just be paying my bills and her bills. Again, I know my siblings would help but how much money are they really going to put into that situation. Probably not enough.
Percy Weasley is an interesting take on this trope. He definitely fits the “genius middle child” part of it, and while there’s no evidence of emotional distance on Arthur and Molly’s part, the fact that he disowned his family for almost two years over political differences and perceived lack of money/ambition shows just how much he wanted to stand in his own right.
Speaking as the quote unquote "baby" I was never afforded these luxuries you speak of, I was actually treated as the one who all of the pressure was put on to "do good" while my 5+ year old brother was coddled. I will say one thing about us "babies" we tend to be the rebellious ones though. True for me, and many I know. We also are the ones (well rounded or not) who end up being unique and rather different from our f*ck*d up families.
We dont say "quote unquote" in written communication as you can actually see the quotes 😂😂😂
This is a unique feature in verbal communication
That's what I was saying about my little sister. She's the youngest out of the four of us and didn't like being compared by me by teachers since I was the one that got good grades at school as well as our mom who expected her to be more responsible with her money like me and our older sister.
Are you also a boy by chance?
It also depends on gender. A girl between two boys or a boy between two girls can be massively different from other middle children. An example is Sue Heck from the Middle who always had her parents attention and worry more than her two brothers or Albert Ingals on Little House on the Prairie who was given all his fathers praises shortly after adoption.
Another example would be Lincoln Loud from The Loud House. cause not only is he the middle child of his family but is also the only boy dominated by girls.
Thanks so much for watching! If you're a Middle Child, which on screen middle child do *you* most relate to?
➡Make sure to check out our other videos on sibling struggles: Eldest Daughter Problems ( ua-cam.com/video/h8vQmK6F4as/v-deo.html ) and Only Child Syndrome ( ua-cam.com/video/fi6h06kP6dE/v-deo.html )
Lisa Simpson ❤
Y’all gonna do the youngest child at some point? I think there’s a lot there to discuss (but I’m also the youngest, so I’m biased)
@@queenemma5823Hmm, they did an eldest video, and middle video, so nope! Looks like they're not going to ever do youngest I guess! It doesn't seem like they're going in order or anything! 😂 You're definitely the youngest child lol
Honestly, the first middle child I ever actually liked was Corey Matthews from Boy Meets World, but the onscreen middle child I identify with most is actually Piper Halliwell from the original Charmed series
Vanessa Huxtable was one of the greatest middle child characters ever.
I don’t relate to a lot of this, because while I was the middle child, I was also the oldest daughter, so I was still expected to be the responsible one. And I wasn’t academically gifted. I struggled academically until my older brother moved out of the house because I was living in survival mode until then, due to his constant (ignored) physical and emotional abuse. Definitely was ignored, overlooked and the black sheep, but I can’t relate to any of the positive outcomes listed.
This is why Jason Todd is my favorite of Batman’s Robins.
Isn’t Tim Drake also a middle child? I feel like the dynamic is different when there more than 3 kids.
@@PrincessLioness Dick Grayson was the first so the big bro the gold standard, Jason was next in line, Tim was the one who actively chose to be Robin after Jason died. And that was the status quo for a long time until Damian. Even still Jason is still the most well rounded the one who doesn’t have a standout trait like his ‘brothers’ do. Dick has charisma and leadership, Tim is the most brilliant even Batman envies his detective skills, and Damian is the most skilled warrior.
Was the middle child until my parents got divorced always thought Id get more attention from them after they separated then when my mom got married to my step dad I got two step siblings and a half brother always felt neglected and felt like I had to raise and take care of myself always felt like they never had time for me unless it was about school or sports
I feel that,the story of my life in a nutshell
But I am proud to be one for good reasons
Middle child *raises hand*. Two older brothers, a year apart and two twin younger sisters (much worse them being twins.). So my two brothers would stick together and my two younger sisters would stick together and I was just kinda there 🙈
I feel that, but I have an older sister and younger sister. They tend to stick together better than I will with them ever. It doesn’t help that they have more common interests than they do with me, but hey solitude is great here and there.
I was the baby for 11 years, the middle child for 8 years and the oldest for the last 15 years.
Hands down being the middle child was the absolute worst. With a sick older sister and a little baby I was like a ghost in my house. An over achieving ghost but a ghost nonetheless.
Edith was such a bitter and sad character in the beginning of Downtown Abbey, it was so easy to dislike her. She meddled in Mary’s business, acted like a wannabe and was mean for no apparent reason. But when you realize she really was often overlooked, this explained her behavior a lot. By a certain point of the series, she the worst things happen to her and she thrives in a beautiful way. By the end you’re thinking “Goodness writers, I just want Edith to be happy. Can you throw a bone here?”. Thankfully she does, and how.
02:29 The middle sibling once was the youngest though. That shift once the youngest is born must have an effect on that as well.
This one hits home for me because I was the 5th child out of 10.
Honestly surprised that Lisa Simpson wasn’t featured here. True, she’s been analyzed to death in other places, but she would’ve been a perfect fit for this video.
Middle children grow up with the least support. Many end up failures because of this but the ones who can flourish despite the obstacles end up better than anyone they are related to and overcome and surpass the limitations of their family.
The day Edith lashed out on Mary was amazing
Should've included Kerry from "8 Simple Rules" and Corey from "Boy Meets World".
Especially Kerry
Well, just go ahead and add them, what are you waiting for?
That's weird because in my family (i.e. me, my family, and my siblings) it's kind of my little sister that get ignored since she's the youngest. I'm the middle child out of three daughters and we all have an older brother. My older sister is 33, I'm 32, and my little sister is 30. For context, when parents get busy trying to rangle children, they usually forget that the youngest is there because they're so busy taking care of the older children and stressing out how to be parents. Also my older sister was the one that got the baby shower, even after she got born, while my little sister and I didn't get a baby shower at all. There are more baby pictures of my older sister out of the three of us and my little sister has only a couple since she's the oldest. So I would argue that the YOUNGEST is the "ignored" and "forgotten" one in the context of early childhood. Not to mention that our little sister didn't like having to be compared by me since we went to the same schools as each other while our older sister went to a vocational school since I get better grades and was an honor student. So teachers were probably expecting her to be like that and even our mom and grandmother expected her to be like me and my older sister (more responsible with money, get good grades, pick up skills easily). The point is that even though I am technically the middle child, I didn't receive any of the stigma that you would typically see with the middle child in popular media since I always thought that the youngest child would get the brunt end of being compared by the older siblings' achievements and trying to live up to their standards. Even when you take my family out of the equation, you do see this kind of dynamic when it's the YOUNGEST SIBLING who gets forgotten in popular media like Ming on the show Duncanville when her parents focus on Duncan (eldest child) and Kimberly's (the middle child) fighting so much that they would always forget that she exists, even though she is the youngest. Another example is Mirabel from Encanto, she's the youngest sister and she felt like she was forgotten because she's the only one in her family without a gift and you can clearly see it in the movie while Luisa (the middle child) gets appreciated and seen how she helps out in the village and how Isabella (the oldest) is seen as the perfect one with the best manners as well as the smartest.
Alex Russo became the family wizard and she is now on the Tribunal so I believe it when they say the middle child is the one on the path for success
I’m really surprised the Halliwell sisters were not mentioned. Piper is an excellent case study. The Halliwell sisters are defined by their trauma: their mother drowned, their father abandoned them and they were raised by their man-hating grandmother until she died of natural causes. Piper always made herself small; always on the bottom of the priority list, always made herself useful but invisible. She always wanted to be a support for Prue and never trouble like Phoebe. Piper is the plainest sister, but she is also the most eligible. Prue is so serious, professional, always has her guard up ready for a fight. She’s practically a man. Phoebe is flirty and man-hungry and she doesn’t take dating seriously. Piper has a passion for cooking, being a domestic figure feeding her family. Her humble timid nature has men lining up to date her. She’s always getting down on herself, telling herself she’s unlucky in love, but the truth is she is afraid of love and happiness just for the possibility of losing it all. Why get married if he’s just gonna leave you? Why have children if you’re just gonna die on them? In the end, she scored a literal angel as a husband and had two beautiful exceptionally gifted boys. She excels as a wife and mother, she leads her entire family by example and she got the happily ever after she told herself she didn’t deserve.
U should mention stuck in the middle and loud house those shows are about that
Why haven’t you not included Greg Heffley from Diary Of Wimpy Kid ?
Now hear me out; the middle child who is also autistic :=)
Let's not do abelism
@@MakaylaWilliams-y3c What do you mean by this?
@ajhebb you're not a doctor
@@MakaylaWilliams-y3cThey're not diagnosing anyone, just saying what about middle children who ARE ALSO Autistic.
Don’t get me started
Please do youngest child syndrome.
The middle child in Disney shows are either evil or mischievous
Or Luisa
@@Gabrielle-bb2zqI love Luisa
Me waiting to see Junior from Black-Ish
He is not the middle child anymore
This is going to be a personal rant so feel free to skate on by and enjoy the rest of the comments, there are a lot of really cool ones.
I've watched the eldest child episode and now I've watched the middle child episode and i can't help but feel after reading so many comments in both videos that, i just don't have a regular family. Because my older brothers and sisters don't act at all like how most older siblings act and the same goes for the middle children. I'm the youngest and i never got all the love and attention, always being taken care of an babied. I was always left alone and ignored, if anything my older sister was given everything and moon all the time, nothing i did was good enough and nothing i did was ever praised. when ever i did do something i felt was right for me i was treated poorly because of it, it made it hard to establish boundaries through out my life because I'm always trampled on.
I wish i could watch these videos and feel seen but i just can't.
You have a different dynamic because yours is not typical. Gleaning from your statement, your family revolves around your older sister (is she the eldest, by any chance?) - it might be a case of some form of narcissistic tendencies going on within your family dynamic (Golden Child / Scapegoat Child / Invisible Child). I feel you, you are not alone. Carry on and do your own thing and be brilliant! 😉 ~ from a middle child / truth seer / scapegoated (black sheep & proud) adult child of that kind of family
@@ALDAPalda10 you're so sweet, thank you, that really made my day
@@pamtown666 Ditto. You're welcome!
@@ALDAPalda10 I second this. Doctor Ramani has videos on this.
I feel that my family dynamic is kind of opposite to the stereotype. I am the youngest of 3 kids of straight boomer parents so you’d think we’d fit into the typical archetypes. But we don’t. My mom had her first son with her hs bf who was not a good person and she escaped him with my half brother a year later. Then she put herself through college and grad school while working as a single mom. My oldest brother has ADHD and unfortunately absorbed a lot of the toxicity from his dad’s influence and was a very troubled child, getting detention, bad grades, and being a bully despite my mom’s best efforts.
My mom met my dad when she was 25 and they married 2 years later. My second brother was born in ‘96 when my half brother was 10 and I was born in ‘98. I’m the only girl. My dad did his best with my oldest brother, but he continued to be very troubled. He was constantly in trouble, he barely managed to keep his grades high enough to stay on the swim team, and by the time he graduated, my mom had sent him to live with his dad multiple times because she had found him being physically abusive to his dog and to me and my other brother. Later, he went to college on a swim scholarship. He’s married now to an equally heinous wife and I haven’t spoken to him in years because he’s literally the impetuous of my PTSD.
My second brother is really smart and creative and he’s a talented musician and athlete. He’s also a space cadet and too trusting and by high school, his previously successful academics were failing, he was really depressed due to this, and was being influenced by really awful people in his friend group. My parents were more strict and vigilant after my oldest brother’s misbehaving, but he brought it to a whole new level. He had a possession charge by age 17 and got expelled and barely passed getting a GED when he had previously been getting straight A’s at a college prep academy.
By the time I, the only girl, came along, my parents were extremely strict and they expected perfection. While my older brother was allowed to go unchaperoned with his friends at 12, I was only allowed to go unchaperoned with my friends at 16. When my dad taught my half brother to drive at 14, and let him go driving alone with only a permit, my parents wouldn’t let me drive alone until I’d had my license for over a year. My grades were better than my brothers. I studied more than my brothers. I had more extracurriculars than my brothers. At 19, my oldest brother had a torn rotator cuff, no swim scholarship, and was flunking out of college. At 19, my middle brother was taking a class at ASU (and failing) and working at a circle K and giving Bob Marley a run for his money. At 19, I graduated with 4.0 GPA with honors, matriculated to cu Boulder with a full ride, had danced professionally with ballet Austin for 6 months while finishing my junior year of hs online until a broken spine ended my ballet career (but I still managed to make varsity swim my senior year), and had gotten an internship at the German embassy as translator. Today, I and my partner rent a house together. It’s super clean and I’m an amazing vegan home cook, I’ve rescued 3 cats, I’ve sold a cook book, I speak 3 languages, and I’m a successful yoga instructor. Oh, and I do fitness modeling on the side for extra cash. My brothers are both total messes the oldest keeps getting fired from jobs that have nothing to do with his expertise because he’s a jerk, his wife is the meanest person I’ve ever met, and he is incapable of being in a room with me without insulting my appearance or lifestyle for longer than 5 minutes. My other brother just got a DUI, is taking horrible care of himself, and I have to go to his house once a week to bring him healthy food and clean up his house because otherwise he just eats fast food and leaves everything dirty. And do you want to know who my parents constantly pester about not living up to their expectations? Me.
“Why did you leave the church?” “Why aren’t you dating a nice Mormon boy” “If you insist on being with that Persian heretic, can’t he at least marry you?” “When will you have babies?” “I miss when you weren’t vegan” “Its sweet that you took 3 years to veganize the family cook books, but it’s just not as good. Can’t you just use real meat and dairy when you cook thanksgiving dinner?” “You had such a promising career in interpretation, I’ll never understand why you gave up on your degree to be a yoga teacher. Oh it’s because you were diagnosed with PTSD and social anxiety and your therapist recommended that you don’t pursue a career that requires traveling all the time and talking to people all over the world including diplomats, military leaders, and traveling to war zones? Well, I don’t know if therapy is all that, maybe if you prayed more you’d me more comfortable interpreting for natural gas executives in Switzerland.” “When are you going to have grandkids? You’re not getting any younger!”
I’ve talked to one of my brothers about this. He doesn’t get ANY of the same pressure. And he feels really bad for me and even a little guilty because he thinks that if he’d been a little more successful, my parents would put less pressure on me. I might be the youngest. And I might even be my parents’ favorite. But I have all the responsibilities and expectations. When I told my mom that my career goal with my partner was to buy a ranch in Montana and turn it into an animal sanctuary, she said “make sure there’s a room in the house for me!” She expects that I’m the one who’s going to take care of her. Which is fine, I love my mom, but also… haven’t I done enough?
Yes I wish they talked about the last hope trope more. Youngest children only get to be carefree if their older siblings aren’t considered screw ups. I had friends in high school who were over achievers because they were seen their parents last hope for a successful child.
Maturity is admitting that Alex was the hot Dunphy sister
Do more Malcolm in the middle video please!
Thank you, i am feeling….seen
sad Sue from The Middle wasn’t here
I will never see Dawn Wiener without feeling deep sadness.
As a Southeast asian Middle child,
I found joy in invisibility..i like my own company too much.. having a husband who is the eldest still finds it weird..
Can you do an analysis of being the only male sibling? Especially being the only male and the oldest. It’s an interesting topic.
omg. im not alone
Jan Brady!
where is Lisa Simpson in this video?
Yeah and where is Lincoln Loud from The Loud House?
This video didn’t have the associated shows/movies named in the bottom corner as you usually do. I’m curious what many of these clips are from!
Did you know it was national middle child day today? No? Ya no one else remembered either.
I’m not really a middle child. My brother is a year older and he is middle. I feel I should relate be middle child but no genius.
Middle millennial homies where y'all at?
I'm here, but at the same time I wasn't really forgotten out of the my family. It's more likely my little sister since she's the youngest out of the four of us that would get forgotten since there are more baby pictures of our older sister than her. She also gets compared to me since we go to the same school by teachers since I get the best grades in class and she sometimes feel inadequate since she's not as smart as me and our older sister.
Listen to Middle Child by J Cole.
I'm the middle child who CANNOT be forgotten because I'm a pwd
Where piper Halliwell for charmed
Im my family, we have the youngest chils syndrome ( me) cause i always get left out
And none of it is true to life. At least it's not a rule. Oldest child can be the most responsible. But also forgotten since younger is born. Or they might have a personality of their own not really influenced by order of birth. Or firstborn might be the only kid in all extended family for a while, so it's everybody's baby. Then some other relative has kids and now the position is taken away. And usually kids are different genders, while our society is sexist
I always thought that the youngest would get forgotten since our older sister was the one that got the most baby pictures in our house and she was the only one that got a baby show. Meanwhile, our little sister only has a handful of baby pictures and there are times that our parents would forget that she existed a few times as a child.
This video got so many things wrong. I am so sick and tired of the eldests being portrayed as the one who grows up too fast and carries all the burden, the broken one, etc and the youngests as the ones with the sweet spot and all the love. From this video one would think the world is soo black and white, when the reality of so many eldests and youngests is soo different. While so many eldests do deal with too much too early on, many of them abandon their responsibilities, many of them do lack maturity, many of them are a nightmare sibling, not a saint. Yes, many of them are so caring and helpful etc, many of them couldn't care less, many of them use the eldest position as a priviledge ( not the youngest ! ). I am so tired of especially eldest daughters pretending like all of them are the only traumatised and broken family member, many of them had a normal family and they will never admit it, never.
The youngests on the other hand get so much rep as a nightmare child, as a slacker, as the one who gets away with everything. Especially youngest boys are always stereotypicaly dumb. This is unfair, because many of them end up having to gather the pieces after the eldest if it's 2 of them. Many of them get told to do the eldest's chores, many of them end up in the shadow, many of them are brilliant and many of them are just as traumatised as the eldests and are just as much of a solid rock and an angel as the eldests.
See, I say this as a middle child. Life is not black and white, not all families are the same, not all sibling dynamics are the same as one would think from this video, given it only mainly focuses on 2 things and the battered ones as well.
Middle children aren't just the " overlooked ones " or " overachivers for attention / neglect " etc. While I agree that we do get a confusing feedback this video just further adds to the echochamber of middle children only having the same 3 struggles / mutual experience. We are much more than just the sibling who didn't get the stick, there's much more that impacts us in good and bad ways.
I can't relate cause I was the youngest in my family.
I want to became a content maker but im too afraid to tell my parent because my parent have a bad Relenstionship with devices and yet so sensetive about Contents but i dont want to give it up the internet give me happyness more than my parent give me
What should i do??? ❤️🩹🥲