27-Year-Old Says He Struggles With Anxiety And Feels Like A Failure
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
- Susan and Randy say that since their son, Jacob, failed his teaching observation twice last spring, the 27-year-old rarely leaves the house, barely leaves his room, and is virtually unable to function.
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“He hardly ever showers, and when he does shower, he usually doesn’t change his clothes,” says Randy. Noting that his son is overweight, smells of cigarettes, and refuses to brush his teeth or hair, Randy says, “I’ve confronted Jake about his hygiene. Jake just doesn’t seem to care.”
WATCH: ‘He’s Dependent On Us, And He Just Seems Stuck,’ Says Mom Of 27-Year-Old Son
“I definitely struggle with anxiety,” says Jacob. He says he feels like a failure and has “zero motivation” to do anything except play video games and smoke cigarettes. “But I look at my future, and it scares me that I may have wasted my life and not accomplished anything.”
Can Dr. Phil help Jacob find his way out of the “terrible funk” he says he’s been living in?
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I know how hard living with anxiety is and other mental illnesses. It can be brutal. You never know what's going on inside someone's head.
He's living in total chaos. No structure, no routine, no masculine forces in his life. He needs to get up and do something. Doesn't really matter what it is, as long as it's healthy and productive. Such as: working out, cleaning up his diet and losing weight, taking walks, learning an instrument (such as the guitars he already owns), learning new skills. I think that would really help him, to see himself at least move (if slowly) in a positive direction. Right now he's just stagnant. The world constricts until you're confined in your room, and eventually, your bed.
@@iWillWakeYouUp you seemed to ignore what OP said in or just wanted to insert your "i know better" attitude.
Anxiety IS REAL AND IT IS DEBILITATING.
If i need to leave the house my anxiety kicks in. By the time it stfu it's too late for me to go anywhere.
Have you ever felt so anxious that you can throw up just by walking to the hallway... Not even towards the door?
Yes the things you said can help IF YOURE DUCKING FUNCTIONING... he's not functioning right now.
He can't do what. You suggest until his headspace is better...
He needs counseling not know it all who thinks a guitar lesson will fix him.
He needs to seek out help. It's his responsibility. No one else's.
tishwitch no one said it everyone else’s responsibility...
tishwitch your acting like it’s easy as someone with anxiety after pain Attaks I’m in bed for like almost 2 weeks
Do u think I want to
I would and im sure he would rather be out
Anxiety and depression can rob you of self care hygiene and social skills. I developed some weird fear about the water burning my skin when I went through a breakdown. Whether hot or cold, in my mind it physically hurt. So I didn't shower nearly as often as before. Can't explain it, but depression and anxiety really can cripple your life and mind
:(
I hope you're doing better.
He is depressed he needs counseling and a dietician. Wish him the absolute best.
it is wild to me the word depression is never said. this is like textbook
@@georgal00 Exactly! This is classic severe depression. I'm surprised Dr Phil never picked up on that. This man needs help in a private setting, not ridicule on TV.
I feel like once you hit a certain age it’s even more socially unacceptable to be depressed. Dr.Phil is real caught up on how he is 27. Who cares how old he is?
@@Jellbells23 cause he's still living with his parents. That's why.
If he wasnt, they would look at this in a different light
Misti D XS living with your parents isn’t the issue.
He's depressed,sad he needs to rehabilitate and be confine to a hospital for further observation that's hard and his family is deeply affected.
You wanna send him to a hospital wtf dude
Thanks doctor. 🙄🤡
He just needs a therapist...
Not everyone who has depression or anxiety needs to be in a hospital.
People love preaching about depression until they're shown the harsh reality of it. A lack of personal hygiene and addictive habits like smoking are huge symptoms of depression, and he's obviously suffering. I thought this show was about helping the mentally ill, not embarrassing them?
The hygiene problem is a byproduct of anxiety and depression
Or being poor
Which fuels the anxiety and depression
I has the same thing while my depression
Yup. I exhibit those symptoms as well :/
he seems like a sweet guy, feel bad he is going through such depression, i wish him the best
He looks so nice
He needs a women and then he'll be cured.
@@renegaderebel2223
but why a woman?
@@waterfull2907 why not 👁👄👁
Yeah he definitely Is
His mother tells him his clothes aren't "attractive." It doesn't seem like he's even trying to look attractive. He's not concerned about it at all. I'd just leave him be. Except for the showering that is important. But it's whatever.
lol imagine if this was a daughter she were speaking to; but because he's a guy no one even pings the fact that he's "supposed" to look attractive.
So he's cripplingly depressed? And needs therapy and medication? He has a lot of interests, he just needs help that isn't his parents.
how do i know if i have anxiety
Yes Uhoh Look up symptoms online. Take a test. They’re not 100% accurate and only a professional can diagnose you but it’ll give you a vague idea.
He needs to grow the duck up
My god why haven’t they talked about the fact that he’s dealing with severe depression... It’s not that he’s lazy, he’s miserable. Get him help! Don’t just talk about his “messy room” or what his life used to be like. That only makes it worse. I know it because I’ve been there.
Dr Phil, this gentleman is clearly depressed, wtf.
I am clearly a lesbian
The fact that all the people in the comments could diagnose and come up with solutions to this but dr Phil can’t 💀
I understand his pain and I go through the same thing when I’m in a deep depression. He really needs help and comfort and motivation 💗 I hope he gets help and recovers💗
Yeah.. he also needs reality..
I hope he gets all of those🌟
Anxiety is real. All people are not social butterflies. If he has no purpose in life he will struggle with everything else.
It’s so sad how little the parents are able to understand his mental health and how much he is struggling, instead of finding ways to motivate him and help him overcome his anxiety they just tell him he is going to scare people and smells bad...do you not think he is aware that he isn’t at his 100%? How is beating him down going to help his anxiety?
he's depressed, please get him help. i suffered through the exact same thing and i got help, he doesn't need to be humiliated like this.
I’ve just unsubscribed. I came here to watch people with issues AND a doctor helping solve these issues for them. In no way do I see that happening though and instead what I see is a sick person being humiliated by this so-called doctor. This isn’t the first time he did this but when he actually calls out and humiliates heartless people who deserve the humiliation it just feels more and more that he does it for all the public support.
I am just disappointed.
Kry Kry You can’t put blame on someone who is genuinely sick. My little brother once had an accident playing the extremely stupid ‘skull-breaker’ game that was popular on social media platforms then which caused him not only a concussion, seizure and internal bleeding but also almost took his ability to speak.
Do know how expensive were the medical expenses for the operation, regular diagnoses and pharmaceutical bills? Do you know that he was disallowed from going to school as a strong bump to the back of his head can prove fatal and only home-schooling is the option for him?
Blaming him won’t make things better but worse. The man in the video along with his parents are taking steps to improve and remedy his condition which is what counts. He is only a leech if he chooses to what he does when he no loner suffers from what he has.
Damn a male version of me..... :( Is okay man, you will be okay.
Who else thinks Dr Phil should have been a little more kind to him?
He could have been a *lot* kinder to him.
I feel so much for Jacob, I’m happy to see the support in the comments too for the most part. I hope you can find help and get your depression and anxiety under control. Wish you the best 🥰
"Basically, my mom told me to" bruh moment
Hes depressed also he could become a good stand up comedian i mean look at Joey Diaz did coke for 30 years was in a prison for kidnapping was a loser now he is a well known stand up comedian.
Wait...he kidnapped someone? I dont think people should come back from that...
I totally feel this guy tho. When I was in high school I struggled heavily with depression my hygiene got terrible and all I ever wanted to do was stay in my room. My diet also was really poor, soon I became obese. Eventually I went to counselling and figured out I have an anxiety disorder and clinical depression. Since I got help I was able to hit the resume button on life and actually enjoyed myself. I'm now a normal weight, shower daily, brush my teeth 3 times a day and am a full time college student.
I’m 23, it’s pretty much a cultural norm for my family to live together until we get married or move away for work. With that said, I also suffer from anxiety and I’ve had separation anxiety in my childhood and adulthood. I do most of the cooking and cleaning in my house and keep track of grocery shopping for my family. However I do understand what he’s going through - when your environment doesn’t change and when life circumstances don’t force you to change, you can get too comfortable. That comfort can lead to depression and feelings of hitting a dead end.
@Jamilla Dobson seeing a therapist can be really hard for people with social anxiety.
@Jamilla Dobson well he has to go to a therapist to know.
But he says he has anxiety when talking to people. Red flag that its social anxiety.
Ain’t he just depressed?
👌🏾
Precisely
Jamilla Dobson-You clearly don’t know how depression affects the mind, then...it’s not laziness.
Jamilla Dobson-He is clearly depressed. And whatdoes the ‘fat’ bit have to do with it? Just say lazy, if that’s what you think, being fat isn’t relevant. Looks like you’re just putting him down so you can feel you’re above him. No need to bully or body-shame.
I feel for this guy, I have clinical depression. I was diagnosed at 17, I'm 26 now. I'm thankful I was diagnosed back then but at the time I remember wishing it had been sooner. Mental health issues are really serious and shouldn't be taken lightly. This guy needs help, he needs support, he needs therapy. I hope he's doing okay.
Jacob, you are not a failure. You are a wonderful human being. I am 33, and I currently unemployed (though looking) and living with my parents. I shower only a few times a week, too, because it dries out my skin, which is already very sensitive. Washing your hair once a week is not bad; like your skin, it dries it out and damages it. If it weren't for your smoking habit, you would be my perfect guy. Keep positive! xo 💋
Thank you, you're very kind
@@onecala You're very welcome 😍
I’m 25 and I know how this guy feels. 🙁
I can relate to him although he seems to be going through it way worse than me
I hope he can get the help he needs hes clearly genuinely struggling
At least he hasn't turned to drugs...
As far as we know. Plus he's a heavy smoker.
@@iWillWakeYouUp He wouldn't have 5 gaming systems if he was on drugs. He already would have pawned those. 👍
@@JayJDubba People find all manner of ways to procure drugs. Such as getting them legally through prescriptions.
@@iWillWakeYouUp Yes, that is true. This guy looks like a possible toker but that's about it.
@@iWillWakeYouUp 1 cigarette every hour is not a heavy smoker.
I've been in this situation. The trick for me was to create goals, both in business and health, create the discipline for trying to achieve them, and never give up under any circumstances.
My heart goes out to this guy. I struggle with both.
Anxiety and depression can be painful and debilitating. Wish him all the best
I actually have a younger brother that has been like this for a long time. Think middle school to 20 years. Tried to get him to just shower. Nope. Takes him weeks to do it. He actually went 3 months without one. I believe it’s anxiety but now he’s getting better. Hopefully he’ll stay that way.
Soot..... That's nasty...
I hope he didn't fall sick
❤️
I feel this man, exactly what im going through rn, people will push you to be better but when you try to do so its just an unbearable and overwhelming feeling of dread and sadness. I've had to cut mats out of my hair in the past. All you can do it slowly chip at it and take the small victories
I like this guy, he is funny. He is adorable
I literally went through the exact same thing. I was very Emotional as a child and very similar to him. I eventually went to school for PTA which is physical therapists assistant and I struggled a lot even though I usually did very well in school , I ended up failing the observations portion of the 2nd year, And what's more, I was humiliated at the hospital by some of my instructors it was absolutely devastating and I sat around being a victim for many years after that period didn't do anything didn't try and get back in school or even get a job. I still have trouble even talking about that experience it had a very profound effect on my self esteem.
Poor guy I know how he feels. But he really should not be neglecting his personal hygiene and physical health.
When you have mental health issues it’s easy to neglect your physical health and hygiene. You know you shouldn’t but when you’re in a low spot nothing really motivates you. Hope that helps
Well, then you don’t know how he feels.
@@iamshooketh9345 I do know how he feels I literally have to force myself to do things when I am in a very bad state of anxiety.
When do people stop making excuses and get themselves help to deal with depression ect? Why is it acceptable to bludge of parents, treat their house like a tip, stop all hygiene and wait for someone to fix it for you?
Yeah it can be hard to have anxiety and depression, but he does need to do every day things more often.
I've been there ..2 years of my life ..struggling with anxiety ..It was so bad ..we moved to a new place and my room was so lifeless , I didn't decorate it, it was so plain and boring, I would feel like going to war if I think of getting a shower, i wouldn't wash my hair for a month, I would struggle with sleep, I would feel like I wouldn't make it for the next year, so I didn't make any plans for the future, I hated my self, didn't take care of my appearance. And I felt tired all the time..now that I'm better ..it's like a new me has surfaced. I take a very good care of myself, I care bout what i put in my body, exercising helped with my anxiety and for the first time, my room looks great and it represents the shift in my life.
With this confinement and the lack of opportunities brought by coronavirus, I am struggling with depression and anxiety too, I feel hopeless very often and I try to do some workout now and then and also trying to keep my body clean, it is hard, really really hard, it feels like you are trapped and you have almost zero control of your life, no matter how many job interviews you have per week, it always ends in the same, jobs get put on hold or cancelled. Before this world pandemic I thought I knew what was like to be depressed, but now I know what real depression feels like.
Sorry, I just found someone who I could relate to, so I want to vent my experience with anxiety as well:
If you have never had anxiety, please don’t judge this man. Honestly, I feel the same and I used to have severe SAD or Social Phobia.
I skipped school often because I hated the feeling of being around my classmates. I never recited and never volunteered in activities people said I was good at. I never had any motivation to do so. My classmates often looked down on me and I was bullied for everything I had and was.
My family waved it all off as “shyness” or “stage fright”. They didn’t know that I would get physically sick whenever they push me into social situations. It didn’t help that I only had 3 friends in that class who had no idea how to help, one was a philosophical loner who was an introvert, and the other two had their own circle didn’t really care. If I wasn’t a friend of their friend they would have pushed me into the dirt a long time ago. The other friends I had were too far from my class to know what was going on. I didn’t have a good support system which elevated my Social Phobia.
My moment of healing came when one of my bullies came forward and tried to fix the damage she had done. It felt nice. Though, it may be different for everyone. She started encouraging me in a way and helped me with contests and cheered me when she could. But that didn’t make my SAD go away.
then college came and at this point my social phobia had grown a lot to the point that I wanted to drop out of college. But our major only composed of 8 students and most of them I knew from my past educations. They grew into this big support group for each other and held me up especially. They learned grounding techniques to get me out of episodes, they looked for quiet spaces for me to get used to being out and about without the fear of people, they got me out of social situations, even when we were apart, that my family put me in, often triggering my episodes. Honestly, they literally saved my life.
If it weren’t for them I wouldn’t have the courage to keep going. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have started to believe in myself as an able and talented person. They were my mirror, they showed me the person that I was when I was too afraid of him. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be alive right now.
So if you are suffering from anxiety, and you don’t have that support system, I’ll be the one to tell you, alongside Dr. Phil and many other, “don’t give up on yourself”. There is no darkness without light, no lows without highs. Hang in there, please. It seems tiring, it seems pointless, I know, but there is hope that you can get out of there. All it takes is one step-whether it is from you or those around you, those who TRULY care about you, there will always be hope that you can and WILL get out of that. Have faith, my friend. In yourself, in your abilities, your strengths, your beliefs, your person. Have faith.
This was me at 16 so glad I turned it around
This young man needs some meds.
I’m happy to see the compassion in the comments. This screamed depression and anxiety from the jump. I wish him the best.
Based on just looks, he doesn’t look too bad. Idk what his mom is talking about when she says he shouldn’t leave the house based on just that. Smell, maybe, but I’ve seen plenty of guys that dress like he does daily
I just cleaned my room and it looked the same.
Hope he can do it as well. This is so refreshing.
Yeah his anxiety and depression need to be addressed but mostly his parents are enablers
Dr. Phil opened the comments thinking we would roast him. No sir, it’s u on the spit
That's how my life looked like 3 years ago... Maybe it's the cursed 27...
As someone with anxiety, I can tell you how damn hard it is, but this guy clearly doesn't just have anxiety. He needs real help.
This is where I was last year I didn’t get out of it and it got scarily worse. Hopefully he can get help before it’s too late! He needs purpose, therapy and maybe even medication. ❤️
Telling your son "he should not be leaving the house the way he looks because he would scare people" is not going to help. No wonder he doesn't take care of himself. The problem is insecurity, and the parents are causing it.
😪 my heart goes out to this young man .He should definitely go couselling. This will help him alot and should never give up and keep on keeping on. He seems a genuinely nice guy and sweet
How often do you wash your sheets ? I have no idea
I would be afraid of taking showers with anxiety. I got through it by listening to music and thing about my favorite activities to do.
I relate to this man, I was exactly like that at different stages in my life I still struggle with picking up after myself I guess it is because I don't care enough about myself to do it.
This title describes me too well
Another product of terrible parenting done by people who refuse to cultivate a relationship with their kid on a personal level before it’s too late.
This makes me want to clean my room.
He smart enough to know the problems, just apply yourself and get better.
I'm gonna make my 15 year old watch this cause he's well on his way smh
Anxiety is not an excuse to live like this....buck up!!
I wanna give this guy a hug
This poor guy. Admits to having crippling anxiety so his parent solution is to drag him on national tv to be embarrassed for ratings.
"There is an order to the chaos" said every hoarder ever. Its one thing to have clutter, like I actually have a slight phobia if stuff is too organized and clean so I do keep some clutter, but I always draw the line at garbage and if stuff gets piled up too much. So like its ok if theres a loose q-tip on the floor, but not ok for piles of dirty laundry or trash. So im bad....but im not this bad. I actually continue the cycle of keeping up with chores and hygiene. He just looks like hes completely given up on himself
Mod Man-Super condescending and rude.
So much love to Jake, poor guy just needs some love, support, and proper help. :(
This is textbook anxiety/depression. Therapy and medication are the most affective treatments when combined, and even then, it never goes away completely. It’s a lifetime of coping.
Take him to a real doctor
lemme go take a shower
I go through severe anxiety and it really does make you feel tired constantly
His career is in front of his eyes. Cigar box guitars, i seen them being sold for loads he has the skills.
Doesnt help with situation worlds in at min either hope he gets help
I was independent and hard working but after some bad events and falling into depression and moving back to my parents I lived just like him from 26 till I was 31, then I got myself a girlfriend who had the patience for me and set be back on the right track.
That is the life! Go live your life Jason and suck the life out of your parents. You are living the dream my man.
These parents are too controlling
He needs his parents support not humiliation. Even on live tv unbelievable
Omg that's how I was, I struggle with anxiety also as well as depression; once I started staying with my best friend and her mom I've started being more active
i know what jake is going through...it all starts from helicopter parents
1:34 nah when you have anxiety you definitely need to get out more and socialise more that’s like the only cure for it
I have social anxiety and going out to do small things then bigger things helped me a lot
Had his problem but my Mexican parents straighten me up pretty quick
How can you be that old and still be that immature? This is shameful.
this is so sad , my worst fear
AT 2:10 LOVE STAND UP COMEDY WITH ALL MY HEART
Me too but you don’t see me letting it ruin my life
He doesn't know how to deal with rejection and that's triggering the depression & anxiety. It sounds like a core wound from childhood. He needs to deal with rejection.
He is lazy, and enjoys not having to try. Life is hard, but worse when you have to support a video game addictive man child.
i feel the man so much. i struggle with anxiety so bad
There are more young people living at home now than during the Great Depression. Cut millennials some slack, please. We're doing our best.
Anatolia-Nope. How can you speak for the entirety of the generation, anyway?
@@user-ri3oz1hi4k I'm not speaking for a generation, it's verifiable facts that you can look up right now. 🤦🏾♀️
Anatolia-I’m referring to the “we’re doing our best” bit, not the first sentence. 🤦♀️
You are probably in the wrong profession for anxiety
Oh man it's like seeing my past self again. It was the wrong move for the parents to take this to Dr. Phil. This poor guy shouldn't be shamed for having depression and anxiety. The thing that helped me through my own struggles was therapy and medication, the parents should have gone to that first smh.
I understand where he’s coming from. I really feel bad for him.
If all else fails join army,it's like call of duty,2 hot meals ,free rent train on equipment. Do your own crafts on weekends,blog website.
That last scene with him laying on his bed holding his cigarettes LOL
They should give his parents help and advice too. They just see the outside and not the inside of their son and his obvious depression
I like the guy and his cigar box guitars are so cool!
Dr.Phil:So why u brush your teeth? And why did u get all dressed up? Why put gel in your hair?
Pendejote:because my mom told me.
He sits just like my brother when he crosses his legs. His foot lays on top which I always thought was odd but I guess others do it also.
I completely understand and can relate completely!!!!
Lmao you should see my 40 year old brother