This had me giggling. I was diagnosed ADHD as a kid. Spent my life figuring out tricks to make things work better. Now as a mom, I had to level up! Cloths out night before, pack lunches night before, leave five minutes early (which ends up to be right on time), set reminders for parties (since living in parallel universes made us miss a couple), working daily to help them learn how to organize (since no one taught me) etc etc. Biggest thing was therapy before having kids; which helped emotion regulation and letting go of ego (not taking things personally). My biggest motivation for being a great mom is that my kids KNOW I love them, and that they feel it consistently. But this is so spot on!!
My mother probably has ADHD but also has NPD. Being horrible and abusive is NOT a symptom of ADHD. No one should be using AHDH as an excuse for their abusive behaviour!!!!
I was a single mom of four kids. I have ADHD and it was difficult. I also have chronic anxiety. Thankfully,I never had rage. I grew up with a mother who had rage, and I swore I would never be that way with my kids. Many people don’t understand what it’s like to live with ADHD. The biggest struggle I have is Procrastination and forgetfulness.
I am late diagnosed ADHD, so late that my kids are pretty much adults. I made all kinds of mistakes that I wish I didn't, Finding out sooner might have helped.:(
Dx’ed in menopause. RSD and time management/time blindness have definitely been problematic. My two sons are in their late 20s. Trying to figure out how to talk about how my undiagnosed ADHD might have affected them when they were growing up. Also, I know ADHD affects people of all different backgrounds. I’m glad to see more people of color talking about this 😌
I agree, self medicating is rarely spoken in many ADHD vids, while it's one of those weird things or quirks if you accept them that can show it's not just being fussy or cravings... it's a sign ADHD brain or even body needs something to function. AND for mothers especially, since raising toddler and small kids is stressful, so I bet almost every undiagnosed ADHD mother found self medication method. On side note if you're still reading, my first longer lasting job made me fall into disastrous thing called alcoholism just to keep up with peers and not cry every week or 2 at job, but to get more aloof (no support from family). I had enough self-awarness and self discipline to get out of it and never came back to that state (6+ years), but I still struggle (still no diagnosis, psychiatrists are still unsure what meds to give me,but my country's medical healthcare is another topic...)
I suspect I have ADD secondary to concussions and sometimes caffeine is the only thing that can get my brain focused enough to get the breakfast routine finished. I think coffee is like an OTC ritalin for us.
My favorite was finding out that my excessive caffeine intake was also helping with my back pain... Sometime in college I figured out that caffeine is a major ingredient in a lot of pain medication... And as an adult I find out that caffeine and sugar have quite the part to play for ADHD too. I've been asking therapist for over 10 years, is my life crazy and that's the problem or am I crazy and thus my life is crazy??? Turns out it's a 2 for 1 deal😅😢
Oh my, I have every single one of these signs being adhd myself. My 4 children, especially my older children suffered from my not knowing I had adhd. I was at the time considered unstable by family members and my daughters were taken from me by the state and my family had custody of them. To think if I had the help and proper diagnosis It never would have happened. I never get this personal on UA-cam commenting, but you really helped me feel better to really validate that I couldn't help myself at the time. On a brighter note, thank you for the great videos you really are making a difference in our adhd lives 😊
Thanks so much for sharing your story. And I’m so sorry that your kids were taken away from you. Let’s raise awareness by sharing our stories so this doesn’t happen to more mothers and they get help at the right time.
Considered unstable by family members? Owning it would be saying you WERE unstable and your children needed a better environment that you couldn't provide because of mental issues. You are validated in your diagnosis, you are not validated in abusing or neglecting your children to the point the state took them.
@nicolcacola thank u for the response. I carried that guilt for years. Even after my diagnosis, I'm 41 now, and this happened when I was 31, my family still feels validation in how they handled the situation. Also the laws didn't protect me, and the state tried getting me on neglect charges in the state of Arizona. I have kids all together. My older daughters now 21 and 17 are still traumatized to this day by the state taking them. I have 2 little boys now, 7 and 5, from a 2nd marriage. We are thriving and laws have now changed for us who have adhd. I am in therapy and take medication to manage, and now I'm a woman who is guarded and manages life better.
I have this guilt. I’m 47 and just started being medicated a year and half. I feel guilty I didn’t diagnose early knowing I had it but never got diagnosed to recent.
I feel the same. My kid has to suffer me and I hate it! I’m not medicated but I try to talk it out to her and explain my feelings. They’re not good or rational I know, she knows, but at least she knows it’s not her. She’s so understanding, smart and well adjusted; I’m going to try find help before she hits her teens. Thank you for this.
My mom is in denial that she has it but I’m pretty sure she does. I got diagnosed last year at 32 and have been sharing about it with my family. She knows her sister has it. She has so many of the signs but will not accept that she might have it. I just hope she can accept it sooner rather than later, and get help.
Great video. Although there may be overlap with childhood trauma (cPTSD) as it affects the development of the prefrontal cortex, I’m pretty sure that my mum has ADHD. I realised this after learning more about it and it explained a lot. Beautiful, passionate, creative woman. But lost track of things, no routine, no consistency, shorter temper, I’d come home and she’d be moving the furniture around at 1am haha. I’m similar but attempting to work on emotional regulation and not being a slave to my impulses. I cannot be like other people and I don’t need to be, I am very empathetic (an ADHD trait I believe), think outside of the box and make decisions based on my values and beliefs, not based on the status quo, not because I feel pressure to conform. These are strengths. It makes raising little kids who thrive in consistency a little difficult, but I can see how she will benefit from these other things that her mama has. We won’t suffer like our mothers did, we have awareness and can make decisions for our lives that can alleviate the more challenging/negative parts of ADHD. For example, I have embraced minimalism (less things, less tidying, quick tidying, less to keep track of). We live simply and this is good for my ADHD and better for my daughter. Our por mamas were likely less self aware. I think that with awareness and effort towards emotional regulation and healing of trauma etc, we actually make fantastic, fun mothers who show our children that we must think for ourselves, can think outside of the box, don’t need to conform, empathic and creative.
Yes I believe it is linked to trauma… also I have seen it manifest in women who have been taken out of their natural environment and had to live somewhere very foreign to them. They had to build all new neuropathways to function in this new place. Plus this modern world has put a lot of demand on our minds in things that are unrelated to our ancestors and what they used their brains for.
If mom had high anxiety, stress, depression, were hurried - the kids will be too. In an undiagnosed woman on a spectrum or/and ADHD (these two are def comorbidities very often) anxiety, depression or other disregulations are practically always present or masked. Guess what that mom had a parent that behaved that way too! Thank you for this video, it does help to be heard.
Yes! I was diagnosed as an early teen with ADD, now called ADHD-Inattentive. Despite this, after high school, I didn’t give it much thought or credit. I acknowledged my anxiety and depression, but I also felt like such a failure in large part because of those things and what the basic things I struggled with that I thought an adult should be disable of. I’m now 45, and only a year ago I happened to watch a video about ADHD in females, and I cried. My whole life flashed before me through this new lens, and it all made sense. I learned that my depression and anxiety, instead of being due to my personality and flaws, was more likely due to unmanaged ADHD. And how it explained me to a T. By not seeing it in myself and having a bad experience with a multitude of medications as a youth, I was ill equipped to recognize it and address it in my kids soon enough. Two of the 3 were diagnosed ADHD. One when he was in 7th grade (now 20) and the other in 10th. (Now 17) Our oldest (21) is now thinking she has it, too, and is going to bring it up at her checkup coming up soon. I’m just glad they are not only discovering and acknowledging these things, but able to have access to a wealth of knowledge to help manage this, so they don’t have to live their lives the way I have. I have had much shame and heartache, which of course affected my kids. My husband also is certainly ADHD, but undiagnosed. We’ve had a tough go of it, nearly divorcing over a decade ago. Learning more about ADHD and C-PTSD in the last year has helped us both, personally and in our relationship. And it is helping us have the right discussions with our kids, to hopefully help accelerate and assist them in improving their outcomes. I think my mother is also ADHD. I brought it up to her recently, (aged 81) and it had never occurred to her, despite my brother and I being diagnosed young. It had never occurred to me either that she could be, until recently. Now it seems obvious. I still have a hard time giving myself credit, as I am a big proponent of personal responsibility. And it is not only hard for me to feel deserving, but hard for me to accept that this is real sometimes. I don’t want it to be a crutch or an excuse for my failures. I’m in control of me… yet… I simultaneously know that this is not just an excuse. I can see how others in the world may feel like people are just jumping on a bandwagon to avail themselves of responsibility for their poor choices and behaviors. But it is definitely not just a convenient excuse to latch onto or a fad to follow. Our brains do not function typically. Whether from genetics alone, or from childhood trauma, or both. Looking into C-PTSD a year ago as well filled in the rest of the blanks for me… many people who have childhood trauma develop ADHD-like symptoms, as their brains get re-wired from the trauma. I mourn what I could’ve been if I had realized this wasn’t just a problem with focusing in school. But I can’t let myself stay there too long. I have to take comfort that I know now, and I can help my children understand themselves better and give themselves a break, unlike the self-flagellation I went through most of my life. It’s never too late to grow and heal.
I had the reverse with an ADHD father and Autistic mother. Neither diagnosed but they were also old fashioned. You ate what was served or went hungry. You kept track of your things or they'd get thrown out. "And if you don't like it, there's the door!" Was a common refrain at our house.
very similar experience mom was undiagnoised with ADHD until late adulthood, father is undiagnosed autism (misdiagnosed another disorder) and an alchoholic. It was such a stressfull childhood because I loved order, routine and organization, (was an undiagnosed autistic), so we had periods of some heated arguments and stuggle of understanding of each other. We are like oil and vinegar. We did have some great times and she was a good mother, but when we had issues in our relationship it seemed to be more magnified then others. The only plus is my mom never had the time blindness, that was my cuz (super fusterating).
Thank you for talking about this. There many neurotypical moms and other adults talking about kids with ADHD, but I have found almost nothing about parents with ADHD and how that affects the child. I have been diagnosed by my psychiatrist as having ADHD, and although she hasn’t been diagnosed yet I feel like my mom is a TEXTBOOK example of having ADHD. So when you are a child with ADHD and one (or both) of your parents may have ADHD, that leads to A LOT of misunderstandings and frustration. One moment my mom promised we would go somewhere fun the next day and the next day she wasn’t in the mood so we wouldn’t go, which made me disappointed. She would say things one moment and the next moment the opposite was true, so I had no clue what to expect. The rug could be pulled out from under me at any moment, and I had to tiptoe around eggshells in a futile attempt to avoid her temper. There were some things that happened that directly made me think that I was in charge of keeping my mom’s moods positive, which was of course not true. Since we both probably had ADHD and as a result both had rejection sensitivity, every time we get into an argument we always take things the wrong way. It was a hot mess. Now with the knowledge and awareness that I have ADHD and she could potentially have ADHD, things between us are significantly better and communication is a lot more direct, though of course we still have our difficulties. Nothing is perfect but knowledge and awareness of these issues goes a long way in helping.
Thanks so much for sharing your story and childhood with your mom. This is one of the positive comments here and I'm so grateful to hear you share a story that gives hope.
I’m not sure if my mom has ADHD, but my dad definitely does, and he as a result was the main “caregiver.” He would get so anxious when we were going anywhere, then take it out on us.
When I had issues growing up - I was calmed down by my mom who would say "I was just like you, your grandpa is even worse", then my daughter had issues too. Turns out our whole family tree has ADHD! My grandpa was extremely talented in several art-fields and math but also a hoarder and sometimes dysfunctional. And we all are very talented, so everyone around us would go about any issue of ours "Yeah, that's expected from creative people" "They're this messy family of artists and musicians", I am the first person to ever even hear the term ADHD...
Just diagnosed at 38. My son is 2. I'm working really hard to be a good Mom for him and I tell him i love him every day. Organization, task completion and time blindness are my challenges. I am really good at keeping a routine because it makes me feel good. I don't get rage so that's never been a problem.
I suspect both my mom and I have undiagnosed ADHD, and I don't think my mom has ever had a conversation with me where she wasn't reading something or watching TV at the same time. As an adult I understand that need for stimulation, but it's still pretty horrible growing up knowing that you're so boring to your parent that a newspaper will always take first place for them. By the way, I think you're the first ADHD content creator I've watched who mentions drowsiness as a symptom of low level of stimulation. I'd come to the same conclusion but I was doubting myself because nobody else seems to talk about it, everyone just always talks about hyperactivity. But it's my experience too that when I try to resist the hyperactivity and distractions, what follows is a horrible grogginess that's impossible not to react to. For example when I tried to practise meditation I legit thought I'd had an aneyrusm for a moment, because I suddenly got so tired I couldn't focus my eyes, my speech got slurred and I couldn't stay upright but fell on my side. When I stopped trying to empty my mind all these passed within seconds and then I was hyper. I think that had to be because of the falling dopamine level, that wasn't normal sleepiness plus it came and went so suddenly. Anyway, I wish that was talked about more in ADHD content, because it seems to me neurotypicals don't really understand what boredom does to us, everyone just seems to think we're such wussies we can't tolerate a slightly unpleasant emotion when in reality low dopamine has very real physical consequences. That's why we learn to run from that tiredness that isn't tiredness as babies and then we never stop running.
I was tested for narcolepsy twice in my early twenties because of the drowsiness and ability to fall asleep almost anywhere if I got bored. 20+ years later I got the ADHD diagnosis.
My mom almost certainly has adhd which is why it took me so long to get diagnosed, cause all my symptoms were normal for her… I definitely relate to most of the things in the video and when I got diagnosed I remember how frustrated my mom was because me being diagnosed reveled she had it but her thing was “what’s the point of getting diagnosed now”
Omg, I'm still in the beginning of the video, bit everything is so relatable already!!! And then you combine that with me having undiagnosed autism, and needing routine and stuff, and it was complete CHAOS.
I think over compensation or coping mechanisms could make some of the things be in reverse. I'm seeing ADHD signs in both of my parents, but then I think the points 1-6 were pretty much the exact opposite. In general, I think ADHD often presents itself as extremes, all or nothing, in many areas of life.
I was so unsure what my mom’s issue was for a long time… but there was definitely an issue 👀 now I’m certain she’s ADHD. Rejection Sensitivity ✅ bad investments (falling for scams really) ✅ impulsive ✅ the best example is when she bought a timeshare in the Bahamas while we were on vacation, randomly, out of the blue. I didn’t realize how to best support her, but now I have a much better understanding 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Great video! I do disagree for the first one, or have another point I should say..in that that some adhd moms may want to create even at times, strict routines in order to keep some consistency and order in their household. I am not a mom yet, but I am very nit picky about some things in my house, and I believe a lot of it is because of overcompensation with my ADHD. If im not very organized, my life goes to crap.
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 3 kids deep and 8 years into parenthood. (I tried to go back to work part time, and couldn't hack it and decided to see if my oldest's recent diagnosis also applied to me) The kids were actually extremely regulating for me. I could see that a regular routine was what they needed, and so that's what I worked very hard to give them. I was (and still am to a more relaxed degree now that they are older) a stickler for bedtime and meal schedule. They did much better with that than without, and although it was extremely challenging, it was beneficial to me, too.
@@er6730 absolutely! I nannied twin baby boys at 3 months when i was 19, and i was in school but i did it for 2 years. It was easy because they were on a schedule, you just basically do the same thing twice or simultaneously lol
When you say they can't form a routine, like is it just harder or absolutely impossible. I'd like to be able to be more routine based but I struggle so hard! I don't want my kids to not have routine like the way I was raised. Trying to put in systems at the moment.
Hey, was it a question? (I am not native english) I am an adhd mum, late diagnosed one year ago. I can say it is possible to have a routine, even in the morning. But it is very hard. Best way for me, are fixed places for important stuff, that we need in the morning. Keys, Jackets, Hats, Shoes, etc. That helps a lot to not get overwhelmed in the morning. And your kids can learn it. For example, my have both adhd, but they check every morning their schoolplan (its hang at a fix place) to see, if they need their bag for sportlesson. Same with the bus ticket. We have a box, where they put it in, every day after school. So we dont have to search it every morning. That helps a lot. Do small steps tp envolve your system, dont overdue yourself or your brain will look out of all stuff. And: If you dont match your goal one day, it is okay. You can still do it the next day. Dont let your brain think, that your routine is broken now.
You can have a routine- it just looks different in ADHD. You need to really let go of "all or nothing approach" to routine, and take steps to support your habits (like visual schedule, reminders and stacking habits etc)
I've done basic things and some timers/alarms on my phone....so we mostly leave on time and mostly go to bed on time and mostly eat dinner at an ok time.... There's a lot of mostly😅
Wow, that sounds really bad. I definitely see myself in several of these. I try to work on saying "maybe we'll do this tomorrow" instead of "tomorrow let's go to the beach!" and then the next day "sorry, I didn't remember that sister has a birthday party in the afternoon, and I promised to bring a cake. We won't have time to do it all, I barely have time to make a cake!" Thankfully, the "bored with the kids" and RSD because of children never was a problem for me. I do get exasperated when they don't eat supper. I HATE cooking! This is healthy and I made it so you will be healthy, and what's the point of all that boring work if it does you no good! But I never doubted my children's love or my ability to parent them. It didn't hurt my feelings if I got screamed at "you're the worst mommy in the world!" because it was time to leave the playground. Being a SAHM was the first time I felt like I was excelling at something. (After the first year, during which I definitely felt like a failure. But I found a style that suited me with Janet Lansbury and her blog and later book "no bad kids" and everything clicked for me) If I got bored in the way that only playing BINGO with a 2yo can produce 🥴 I shifted my focus to admiring how beautiful this child is, and how much she's developed in such a short time. And then I didn't have to be tortured by "now it's your turn. *Centuries pass* do you remember what to do? That's right, pick up a card. Oh, what's that, a pumpkin? Hmm, do you have any pumpkins?" and instead could just stare at her like 😍. Mornings were pretty hectic but now my autistic husband has taken us in hand. Between the two of us, we have Systems.
Jesus christ, me and my son both have ADHD and I struggled with all these things but fully got myself diagnosed at 23 and my son at 8. So we've always grown up understanding each others short comings, and supporting each other when we see our ADHD is being disruptive in the home. God, I'm so grateful. It wasn't just me or just him. Not sure if that's weird, but yeah. We've got a great relationship and even share adhd memes with each other, lol.
What an excellent video! Thank you for educating folks on ADHD and how it continues throughout adulthood. Both my parents have ADHD, and struggled with many (all?) of the issues you listed. It caused so many issues for my brothers and I growing up, the main one being basically left to raising ourselves. I also have ADHD and many struggles, and I married a wonderful neurodivergent man, but there are so many resources to help today that we use-from my calendar app to Alexa-to help keep track of things for us. I homeschool my kids who are neurodivergent as well, because once I realized I had ADHD I was able to clearly see all the kids who struggled with it in school, myself included, and I couldn’t do that to my kids. It’s not always easy, but there is so much love and understanding. My kids don’t struggle like I did because I know what to look for and how to help them in a way my parents didn’t. Thanks for this video!
Taking ownership of one’s own neurodivergence is the biggest gift one can give to their kids. You’re doing a great thing and are a positive example for the neurodivergent community.
Ohhhh thank you! It’s been so hard to find information and support to try not to screw my kids up because I struggle so much w ADHD…I never know if their behavior is their ADHD, learned behaviors from inconsistencies in my parenting because of MY ADHD, or what! I can find loads of information on how to support and help my kids, but very little for ME to regulate myself and build healthy habits for them and me… it is exhausting! It is sooo exhausting trying to do all the things that seem so easy and obvious for other people. Thank you. I can’t wait to see more of your channel
I'm the mom. Well, the Nana now..I'm looking for videos about adhd in kids. All my kids are adhd. My boys were diagnosed by school, but my daughter wasnt, of course, she was masking very well and i was only dx in my 40s. Now my granddaughter is 6, i see all the signs, but her father refuses to see them. I keep telling them its a genetic condition, to no avail. So in looking for videos i found yours. And it's been very healing. Thank you.
You’re a great Nana! I wish your granddaughter all the help that your boys were able to get. It seems easier to pass on girls with adhd since some of the emotional regulation symptoms are just written off as being moody and lazy.
@@francescavideos I've read alot on the impact of puberty and menopause on neurodivergent female brains and what it means during those periods of our lives. At least I'm coming in equipped with new literature that wasn't available for me back then. Even when I started my périmenopause. 🫠😂 And thank you, that's very nice of you. ✨♥️
@@francescavideos oh, I have to add, we've been thru a lot of healing. A lot of generational trauma from my mother that was abusive, (I have severe c-ptsd, adhd and autism) and my kids who had to grow up with my trauma, which is traumatic by itself. We're not a perfect family, we've had all these signs at some point in our life. I did. Not them. I was a single mother . They are almost all adults now. And we've gone thru the hills , but we're closer than ever. I'm so grateful. ❤
Huh, I am a parent who was asleep on the third paragraph of bedtime story. But, I was so sleep deprived then, it's crazy I was able to even open the book.
Wow. Yep, my Mom….although, she also had suffered an actual TBI when she was 8 yrs old, she got run over by a truck. Had been in a coma for 2 weeks and developed spinal meningitis too. This was also before antibiotics (Mom born in 1918 & I’m now in my 60’s). Anyway, her TBI created cognitive difficulties and emotional dysregulation, I’m not sure if it was her TBI or ADHD, or both. Dad and Mom BOTH very explosive people. Dad could’ve had ADHD butI think he was more OCD. Anyway, I never wanted to have children and thank goodness I never did….I have ADHD and it was certainly never identified when I was a kid. I was just punished a lot for well….being a kid w/ ADHD. It certainly tho colored my childhood enuf to where having kids of my own wasn’t ever something I strongly desired. I managed tho to make thru college and the only kid out of 4 that did go to a 4 year university. Interestingly, became an OT who worked with all types of people but I seemed esp well suited to folks with…..BRAIN INJURIES. No surprise,,esp after really coming to terms with my own neurodivergence but esp having developed a great deal of compassion and understanding for my mother’s own struggles. Sadly, she passed before she truly experienced this from me in the physical, real world sense. I have felt her presence in my life tho as an adult (she passed when I was 20). Thank you for sharing this info!
Thank you. I was first diagnosed in my early 40's as ADD. A few month's later a more thorough examination said no I had milf Bi-Polar often misdiagnosed as ADD. Some of the behaviors you listed were I had. Poor money management and today at 72 I struggle with time estimates. This explains why my niece and sister are always chronically late as I use to be.
I am a mom, and not too long ago I found out I may have ADHD, and my son too...that is not easy for me or for him...I need to find resources for both of us.
Those signs are also signs of extreme stress and many other things such as trauma too and that can be caused by many factors including poverty, the overwhelm associated with overachievers and also impoverished for different reasons but causing same symptoms. Dont’ know why these days we have to but labels on things that are very much environmental ..being the child of an immigrant in a new country and so many things but we put it on the individuals…missing the cause and therefore the treatments/solutions.
It’s always immigrants who deny the truth.Nothing wrong with labeling an issue and tackling that issue but you Prefer it being swept Under the rag lol.No Wonder so Many children will suffer under people like you.
You should change the title to possible signs linked to ADHD. I can relate to many of these. I'm running late often, but I have noticed the times I get off my phone and not waste time I'm more efficient and head out the door "on time" a lot of us feel we have no time I'm one, but in reality we waste a ton of our time since we are highly attached to our phones or electronics.
I am this mum. So many family and friends who are diagnosed tell me I am too.. but the psych disagreed 🤷♀️ how do you manage when you can’t get the help despite it being a big issue in your life. They only see the anxiety 🤷♀️
I had the same problem. I couldn’t get my GP to refer me to a psych so I couldn’t get meds. I still told everyone o am ADHD and started natural remedies like high magnesium supplements and life changes like drastically Decluttering our family SCHEDULE. Decluttering the house is still a struggle but I know it would help.
And the doc didn’t refer me because I appear so normal or “high functioning”. Unfortunately it’s just that I’ve developed a strong mask to hide my neurodivergence over the years.
Oh dear! Some of this points are true for me. Especially time management, chaos, horting, anxiety, feeling guilty to be a bad mom, bad relationship to the partner, bad organisaition skills, high score of sensitiy and take things personal, hate being told what I have to do. Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear about that and what I effected to my poor childs. But in maths I am very good and I sleep well. Perhaps just ADD, without H
The part where the parent takes things personally doesn’t sound like ADHD to me. Many people with ADHD are very empathetic and not particularly disagreeable in their temperament. ADHD parents have issues with staying organized and time management etc but they are also self-aware and will engage in self blame rather than exploding at their partner or kids. I’d attribute the difficulties with emotional outbursts and taking things personally to either emotional immaturity or possibly autism. Not taking things personally involves having empathy & interpreting social cues and interactions “correctly” - something that can be especially challenging for someone with autism. This is just my personal experience and observations of how people with ADHD vs people with autism tend to act.
Out of the blue, I signed my kids out of school and we started homeschooling that very day. We all now know about neurodivergence and talk openly about it. Thank you for doing these videos. It will help so many people.
@@NeurodivergentMom yes I know. Many psychiatrists didn’t believe girls could have autism. I know my 3rd daughter has autism and despite seeing different specialists since she was 2(even a neurologist) she wasn’t diagnosed with autism(or anything) until the school stepped in and had a specialist see her is the school environment too. She was diagnosed at 10yo. My daughter is now 24 and got a full time job no one thought that would happen and for her to keep it. We all did everything we could to teach her manage life as independently as possible. Sometimes ADHD is misdiagnosed when the person has experienced trauma from a young age and also inter generational trauma. I always suspected something was not right with my mum but I figured it was her unstable and other abusive childhood. It was partly due to CPTSD but now at 66 she has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I wouldn’t consider her abusive or neglected but we were often couch surfing(basically homeless) twice my brother and I had to live with other family members because we were homeless.
@@sharonwadwell2425 thanks for sharing your story. It’s incredible that your mom got her diagnosis so late in life. I hope that brings understanding to the entire family.
This is all so true. I'm a late diagnosed ADHD parent of neurodivergent kids. What's interesting is that this is the first time I've considered that my mother probably had ADHD too 😂
Ur th first Person to KNOW what I Am talking ablut & th first to Truly empathize. Im sure You can imagine th challengez of mating w a PDAer.. Thx for seeing Me. Alwayz learning & doing My best to Be My best Aloha
This made me cry.. i dont know if i have ADHD or not but can certainty relate to some of the symproms.. disorganisation in mornings, inability to focus when there are too many tasks. I organise but to a certain degree. Cant organise completely
I am a mom. I believe that I probably have ADHD. I have many of those signs. My daughter is ADHD. My mother probably was, but told me that I really wasn't ADHD... but I believe that I am. Thank you ❤
As an adhd mom, I know it is my responsibility to manage my own rage and responsibilities and not take every rejection so personally (which leads to more rage!). It happens over and over again and adhd feels like such a cop out. Is it my family’s responsibility to walk on egg shells around me? Should I be medicated every day? I know I’m supposed to exercise everyday to help manage some of this, but I don’t. It feels like every time I rage that the solution is just to learn to better control my emotions. From where I stand, it looks like emotional regulation just happens naturally and I just never developed it since I didn’t really have enough socializing or interpersonal hardship with peers growing up to develop a more robust capacity to self regulate. A lonely childhood is also a hallmark of adhd unfortunately.
It's true. ADHD and Autism can make a child have a lonely life. It's not a cop out. The first step is acknowledging what's there. only then can we heal.
I don't know about my mother, but just from the picture alone I know my ex-wife did. She was always doing laundry, she just never finished the laundry. I always had clothes for work and I also have ADHD so it wasn't a problem. I just found the picture funny because there was always a pile of clean clothes in our bedroom.
Yes that would be even more tragic. These ADHD individuals make it so hard to be around and share a life with them. Of course people want to step away from this chaos and mess they are causing. Yet that’s what they are super sensitive about 😆 ridiculous. Then work on yourself, get on medication, manage yourself instead of letting the other people in your life deal with your crazy mess. Maybe then you will be easier to be around and people stop rejecting you.
@@alexguerra1668 ugh so disappointing. Bad enough to spread disinformation that’s definitely not in the DSM, but to be encouraging laypeople to be diagnosing other people based on these “signs” is so harmful.
@@DiamondButterfly921 You missed the point. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is not a sign of ADHD. That’s like saying that eating ice cream is a sign of being a little girl because some little girls eat ice cream.
This is me to a tee but you forgot to include the bouts of self-medication and poor choices in people and the inability to process grief. My son hates me and calls me a child abuser and worse. He is 40 and completely dysfunctional and blames me for everything. I'm 65 ( I was finally diagnosed at 43 after I began research to help him) and he now takes advantage of me and guilts me into supporting him on my social security and a little part time job. I sent him this video but I don't have much hope of him getting any benefit if he even watches it.
Thanks for sending this video to your son. The thing is only with understanding and empathy will he find true healing from the childhood pain. There's a saying in therapy - if you've had a childhood, you've had trauma. It just goes hand in hand because a child's heart is so innocent and sensitive.
My mom was on the fence about having kids, and my dad has MS. They decided to just have 1… I really wish they hadn’t. Despite years of treatment, my life just feels like a cruel joke. Mental and physical illness just gets worse.
ADHD is more of environmental and familial factors. To anyone watching this,Don't label yourself. ADHD will become a norm due to internet , social media , and lifestyle ( hustle culture) We having more neurodivergents nowadays is part of human evolution.
I’m 36 undiagnosed (my assessment is in 2 days) I’m also a mom of 4 and this is my life. I am hoping to start medication soon but for the moms who are not yet diagnosed magnesium really does help! Obviously it’s not an adderal but it just slows the mind enough while you await meds or therapy and makes things feel less 😂🙃🥸🤩😭😫😴😣🙃🙃🙃
OMG Magnesium saved me 2 years ago when I couldn't get a diagnosis because my GP didn't refer me to a psychiatrist. I also gave my son kid's magnesium to help him regulate himself.
I don't particularly think my mom was ADHD but i think i am. I tried to get a diagnosis online but they recommended a full psych evaluation because there could b other stuff going on too, at first i thought ok yeah great but now i feel stupid, i didn't realize how expensive that is. It's a complete barrier at least for the time being and i can't easily picture it seeming doable any time soon either, very disappointing
My keiki'z Dad iz so PDA Autistic - I Am so greatful for leaening of Otherz experiencez.. I brought up th concept to Him about 3 yearz ago & He waz like... ooooh! Yeeea... & had this wave of relief. Of course accepting th label iz tranzient, az Hiz nature to rebel iz inherent it seemz.. Mahalo
I got my ADHfD diagnosis in my late 50's and of course....I can see in some of my family, especially my mum and a sibling. My dad was more ASD, I think some of my siblings have both, like me, or lean more towards one than another. Of course, my mum has poo-pooed it 🤔
Bless your heart and give grace. Mom’s are falling asleep because we are tired as hell. While the kids sleep in until 8 am Mom (and dads) are up at 4 trying to workout, pack lunches and get a head start on a work project so they can get off early to pick up the kids to drive them to tutors and soccer and band and finish homework and cook. They are not going to bed until late because they need to get the kids ready for bed and read those bedtime stories (can not focus because I have been up since 4 am and I still need to clean the kitchen so I am not a bad mom). Sorry got off track must be my ADHD. Maybe the mom is crying or being emotional because that is how she feel and everyone think parents are not human and not allowed to say being a parent is hard work. Maybe out of the blue she threw the family in the car to take a trip to the beach without planning it out because it’s hard to find the perfect time because life is busy and sometime you just have to drop life to go have fun instead of planning it all out…..let’s just go do it. Maybe there is a pile of laundry and dishes on the sink but did I go to work to make money to take care of my kids, are my kids need met before my own……yes absolutely ….everyday all day. But I completely understand your need for routine because you are on the spectrum, my son is on the spectrum. And the ONE thing that I made sure he did not have on purpose was a routine…..because that is not how the world works. To survive my kiddo needed to be able to adjust. At age 3 he was non verbal. He is now a college graduate living on his own and is able to adjust as life dictates. Parents do not have ADHD. We have love and trying to do our best and because it’s not perfect and in order and not completely done all the time does not mean there is something wrong and we need medicine and a label. We need Grace and a Nap.
Mine has undiagnosed NPD. She fits the criteria to the whole section! I’m the mom with add. How did I not get diagnosed till now? I’m impulsive with baskets shelves and kitchen dishes, but I also can get rid of things. I think I might be on the spectrum as well
Unfortunately, a mom with undiagnosed ADHD will be demonstrating how not to "manage" ADHD, which is difficult for kids who also have ADHD. It's usually genetic.
Now what…? Hmm I’d recommend 1. finding out as much about adhd and how it impacts motherhood, 2. Disclose 3. Accommodation (ask for it from family and the system, whether school system or social system or both)
Took my kid having too many melt downs and me being like i got more than depression and bipolar doesn't cover all my issues.... Ahhhh test this kid! Ohh if she's ADHD.... Test me!!!! See told youcrazy world i had way more issues!!! Oh wait 😢 .... Well shit.... Um ... So parenting tips for raising an adhd kid...ok cool, but what if the single mom has the adhd too?!!! I can't model this shit?! Like all the vids i keep seeing are like help for single adults with ADHD and thats nice, but as a single mom i need more than tips and tricks for me. Im supposed to not just be a functioning adult and keep a job, but also be a mom and get this kid to Girl scouts and soccer and And and aaahhhhhh no one can find shoes!!!! Ok kid youfind my shoes, ill find yours, and who finds them first can work on finding the keys and .... Now we're late.... who's takingthe blame today? 😅 The # of therapy sessions ive forgot or been too late for.... The # of quite or lost jobs.... I swear being a new mom was my hyper focus/new favorite craft!!! Longest one ever, 😂.... Thanks we moms with adhd with kids with adhd definitely need help!!!
I meant breaking the pattern of making parenting mistakes by being unaware of our neurodivergent traits. With awareness we can embrace our and our kids neurodiversity and work with it not against it.
Find solutions and tools to deal with the issues so that they don't become issues for the children. Example: setting alarms so that you do not miss appointments. Example: Seeing a therapist. Example: hiring a maid to help you clean because you have issues getting chores done.
Is rejection sensitivity really a symptom of ADHD? Maybe a secondary symptom because they experienced a lot of social rejection in the past. I can’t see why it would be primary symptom.
It is rooted in taking everything personally. Rejection sensitivity is also super common in autism. We think everyone's actions are a reflection on us and that means if they reject a "thing" we assume that they are rejecting us. It's not rooted from social rejection because from experience I can tell that I've taken light comments from peers in highschool way too personally and didn't talk to some people for months when it was a simple passing comment from a trusted friend. I blew it up in my mind because of my rejection sensitivity.
Going from love to hate is not an ADHD symptom, that is a symptom of much more serious conditions than ADHD. That is more likely BPD or NPD. ADHD is often a symptom of underlying conditions like CPTSD. Don't minimize child abuse by dismissing it as ADHD. ADHD doesn't make you hate your kids or cause extreme mood instability that way. It's unethical and irresponsible to make claims like this when you are not an expert. You need to just stick to your own personal experience and not try to justify abusive behavior to ADHD.
Way to make it obvious that you don’t actually know anything about diagnosing ADHD because BPD, SPD, TS, Bipolar Disorder, Autism, they are all co occurring disorders. You do not receive an ADHD diagnosis, or an Autism diagnosis nor Tourette Syndrome diagnosis, alone. In Neurology, Comorbidities must exist. All of this set aside, she isn’t even specifiying about abuse towards the child. She’s talking about mood instability in general. Idk if you need to be here or if you’re just a pick me who struggles with critical thinking.
For the OP, YES, this! I wanted to like and maybe subscribe, as this is the first video I’ve seen by this creator, but the way the concept was presented….”if you or your mom have adhd, you’re going to flip flop between loving and hating your kids”….what? True, that can absolutely be a symptom of a comorbidity (like BPD or CPTSD) but that is NOT the ADHD, and the potential comorbid causes of that kind of emotional fluctuation were not mentioned. Also, it is possible to have comorbids that DON’T cause that particular dysregulation. Everything else was spot on, but upsettingly, not that.
Aaackkk!!! Please recall that the absolute best things in life come BECAUSE of the bounty of an ADHD (or other ND) brain. The brain is not the problem: society and imposed norms are the problem.
Maybe you need to let the government run your life Because they really care about you!! Not like your mom eh who has stood by you all your life even when it was so hard she struggled Tell your mom she was bad wrong and mentally ill and then you and your mom can get c do dosed up on antidepressants 👍 Great!!!
Um. The interpersonal stuff, the running hot & cold- no. My mom had a full time job an hour away and two kids. I’m turning off this video. I don’t need to sit here and listen to this chick shame my poor dead mom!
This had me giggling. I was diagnosed ADHD as a kid. Spent my life figuring out tricks to make things work better. Now as a mom, I had to level up! Cloths out night before, pack lunches night before, leave five minutes early (which ends up to be right on time), set reminders for parties (since living in parallel universes made us miss a couple), working daily to help them learn how to organize (since no one taught me) etc etc. Biggest thing was therapy before having kids; which helped emotion regulation and letting go of ego (not taking things personally). My biggest motivation for being a great mom is that my kids KNOW I love them, and that they feel it consistently. But this is so spot on!!
My mother probably has ADHD but also has NPD. Being horrible and abusive is NOT a symptom of ADHD. No one should be using AHDH as an excuse for their abusive behaviour!!!!
Came here to say this also!
Yes!!!
Just their interruptions
I was a single mom of four kids. I have ADHD and it was difficult. I also have chronic anxiety. Thankfully,I never had rage. I grew up with a mother who had rage, and I swore I would never be that way with my kids.
Many people don’t understand what it’s like to live with ADHD.
The biggest struggle I have is Procrastination and forgetfulness.
ADHD moms are judged more than all other moms. Maybe Autistic moms are up there too.
Maybe? Definitely... we are judged as lazy, selfish, controlling etc. I have both ADHD and Autism. @NeurodivergentMom
I am late diagnosed ADHD, so late that my kids are pretty much adults. I made all kinds of mistakes that I wish I didn't, Finding out sooner might have helped.:(
@@Gleem1313 it’s not too late to heal the mistakes. I’ll make a video on this that will be published on Monday. I Hope it helps you. ♥️♥️♥️
@@NeurodivergentMom I will be interested to see it.
Dx’ed in menopause. RSD and time management/time blindness have definitely been problematic. My two sons are in their late 20s. Trying to figure out how to talk about how my undiagnosed ADHD might have affected them when they were growing up. Also, I know ADHD affects people of all different backgrounds. I’m glad to see more people of color talking about this 😌
My mom was addicted to coffee for a few years, maxing at 16 cups a day. I’m surprised that attempts at self medicating wasn’t on the list.
I agree, self medicating is rarely spoken in many ADHD vids, while it's one of those weird
things or quirks if you accept them that can show it's not just being fussy or cravings...
it's a sign ADHD brain or even body needs something to function.
AND for mothers especially, since raising toddler and small kids is stressful,
so I bet almost every undiagnosed ADHD mother found self medication method.
On side note if you're still reading, my first longer lasting job made me fall into disastrous
thing called alcoholism just to keep up with peers and not cry every week or 2 at job,
but to get more aloof (no support from family).
I had enough self-awarness and self discipline to get out of it and never came back
to that state (6+ years), but I still struggle (still no diagnosis, psychiatrists are still unsure
what meds to give me,but my country's medical healthcare is another topic...)
Sometimes the coffee addiction is because we’re hungry but don’t have the mind space to make a meal.
A hot drink becomes our snack!
I suspect I have ADD secondary to concussions and sometimes caffeine is the only thing that can get my brain focused enough to get the breakfast routine finished. I think coffee is like an OTC ritalin for us.
My mom could drink coffee and go to sleep
My favorite was finding out that my excessive caffeine intake was also helping with my back pain... Sometime in college I figured out that caffeine is a major ingredient in a lot of pain medication... And as an adult I find out that caffeine and sugar have quite the part to play for ADHD too.
I've been asking therapist for over 10 years, is my life crazy and that's the problem or am I crazy and thus my life is crazy???
Turns out it's a 2 for 1 deal😅😢
Oh my, I have every single one of these signs being adhd myself. My 4 children, especially my older children suffered from my not knowing I had adhd. I was at the time considered unstable by family members and my daughters were taken from me by the state and my family had custody of them. To think if I had the help and proper diagnosis It never would have happened. I never get this personal on UA-cam commenting, but you really helped me feel better to really validate that I couldn't help myself at the time. On a brighter note, thank you for the great videos you really are making a difference in our adhd lives 😊
Thanks so much for sharing your story. And I’m so sorry that your kids were taken away from you. Let’s raise awareness by sharing our stories so this doesn’t happen to more mothers and they get help at the right time.
@@NeurodivergentMom I agree, Awareness brings hope and understanding.
🫂
Considered unstable by family members? Owning it would be saying you WERE unstable and your children needed a better environment that you couldn't provide because of mental issues. You are validated in your diagnosis, you are not validated in abusing or neglecting your children to the point the state took them.
@nicolcacola thank u for the response. I carried that guilt for years. Even after my diagnosis, I'm 41 now, and this happened when I was 31, my family still feels validation in how they handled the situation. Also the laws didn't protect me, and the state tried getting me on neglect charges in the state of Arizona. I have kids all together. My older daughters now 21 and 17 are still traumatized to this day by the state taking them. I have 2 little boys now, 7 and 5, from a 2nd marriage. We are thriving and laws have now changed for us who have adhd. I am in therapy and take medication to manage, and now I'm a woman who is guarded and manages life better.
Sent this to my kids - I do have Dx’ed ADHD but not medicated for it until very recently. It hurts me that I hurt them
I have this guilt. I’m 47 and just started being medicated a year and half. I feel guilty I didn’t diagnose early knowing I had it but never got diagnosed to recent.
I feel the same. My kid has to suffer me and I hate it! I’m not medicated but I try to talk it out to her and explain my feelings. They’re not good or rational I know, she knows, but at least she knows it’s not her. She’s so understanding, smart and well adjusted; I’m going to try find help before she hits her teens. Thank you for this.
My mom is in denial that she has it but I’m pretty sure she does. I got diagnosed last year at 32 and have been sharing about it with my family. She knows her sister has it. She has so many of the signs but will not accept that she might have it. I just hope she can accept it sooner rather than later, and get help.
Great video. Although there may be overlap with childhood trauma (cPTSD) as it affects the development of the prefrontal cortex, I’m pretty sure that my mum has ADHD. I realised this after learning more about it and it explained a lot. Beautiful, passionate, creative woman. But lost track of things, no routine, no consistency, shorter temper, I’d come home and she’d be moving the furniture around at 1am haha. I’m similar but attempting to work on emotional regulation and not being a slave to my impulses. I cannot be like other people and I don’t need to be, I am very empathetic (an ADHD trait I believe), think outside of the box and make decisions based on my values and beliefs, not based on the status quo, not because I feel pressure to conform. These are strengths. It makes raising little kids who thrive in consistency a little difficult, but I can see how she will benefit from these other things that her mama has. We won’t suffer like our mothers did, we have awareness and can make decisions for our lives that can alleviate the more challenging/negative parts of ADHD. For example, I have embraced minimalism (less things, less tidying, quick tidying, less to keep track of). We live simply and this is good for my ADHD and better for my daughter. Our por mamas were likely less self aware. I think that with awareness and effort towards emotional regulation and healing of trauma etc, we actually make fantastic, fun mothers who show our children that we must think for ourselves, can think outside of the box, don’t need to conform, empathic and creative.
I agree!!
Yes, this resonates.
Yes I believe it is linked to trauma… also I have seen it manifest in women who have been taken out of their natural environment and had to live somewhere very foreign to them. They had to build all new neuropathways to function in this new place. Plus this modern world has put a lot of demand on our minds in things that are unrelated to our ancestors and what they used their brains for.
If mom had high anxiety, stress, depression, were hurried - the kids will be too. In an undiagnosed woman on a spectrum or/and ADHD (these two are def comorbidities very often) anxiety, depression or other disregulations are practically always present or masked. Guess what that mom had a parent that behaved that way too! Thank you for this video, it does help to be heard.
Yes! I was diagnosed as an early teen with ADD, now called ADHD-Inattentive. Despite this, after high school, I didn’t give it much thought or credit. I acknowledged my anxiety and depression, but I also felt like such a failure in large part because of those things and what the basic things I struggled with that I thought an adult should be disable of.
I’m now 45, and only a year ago I happened to watch a video about ADHD in females, and I cried. My whole life flashed before me through this new lens, and it all made sense. I learned that my depression and anxiety, instead of being due to my personality and flaws, was more likely due to unmanaged ADHD. And how it explained me to a T.
By not seeing it in myself and having a bad experience with a multitude of medications as a youth, I was ill equipped to recognize it and address it in my kids soon enough. Two of the 3 were diagnosed ADHD. One when he was in 7th grade (now 20) and the other in 10th. (Now 17) Our oldest (21) is now thinking she has it, too, and is going to bring it up at her checkup coming up soon.
I’m just glad they are not only discovering and acknowledging these things, but able to have access to a wealth of knowledge to help manage this, so they don’t have to live their lives the way I have. I have had much shame and heartache, which of course affected my kids.
My husband also is certainly ADHD, but undiagnosed. We’ve had a tough go of it, nearly divorcing over a decade ago. Learning more about ADHD and C-PTSD in the last year has helped us both, personally and in our relationship. And it is helping us have the right discussions with our kids, to hopefully help accelerate and assist them in improving their outcomes.
I think my mother is also ADHD. I brought it up to her recently, (aged 81) and it had never occurred to her, despite my brother and I being diagnosed young. It had never occurred to me either that she could be, until recently. Now it seems obvious.
I still have a hard time giving myself credit, as I am a big proponent of personal responsibility. And it is not only hard for me to feel deserving, but hard for me to accept that this is real sometimes. I don’t want it to be a crutch or an excuse for my failures. I’m in control of me… yet… I simultaneously know that this is not just an excuse.
I can see how others in the world may feel like people are just jumping on a bandwagon to avail themselves of responsibility for their poor choices and behaviors.
But it is definitely not just a convenient excuse to latch onto or a fad to follow. Our brains do not function typically. Whether from genetics alone, or from childhood trauma, or both. Looking into C-PTSD a year ago as well filled in the rest of the blanks for me… many people who have childhood trauma develop ADHD-like symptoms, as their brains get re-wired from the trauma.
I mourn what I could’ve been if I had realized this wasn’t just a problem with focusing in school. But I can’t let myself stay there too long. I have to take comfort that I know now, and I can help my children understand themselves better and give themselves a break, unlike the self-flagellation I went through most of my life. It’s never too late to grow and heal.
I had the reverse with an ADHD father and Autistic mother. Neither diagnosed but they were also old fashioned. You ate what was served or went hungry. You kept track of your things or they'd get thrown out. "And if you don't like it, there's the door!" Was a common refrain at our house.
very similar experience mom was undiagnoised with ADHD until late adulthood, father is undiagnosed autism (misdiagnosed another disorder) and an alchoholic. It was such a stressfull childhood because I loved order, routine and organization, (was an undiagnosed autistic), so we had periods of some heated arguments and stuggle of understanding of each other. We are like oil and vinegar. We did have some great times and she was a good mother, but when we had issues in our relationship it seemed to be more magnified then others. The only plus is my mom never had the time blindness, that was my cuz (super fusterating).
Thank you for talking about this. There many neurotypical moms and other adults talking about kids with ADHD, but I have found almost nothing about parents with ADHD and how that affects the child. I have been diagnosed by my psychiatrist as having ADHD, and although she hasn’t been diagnosed yet I feel like my mom is a TEXTBOOK example of having ADHD. So when you are a child with ADHD and one (or both) of your parents may have ADHD, that leads to A LOT of misunderstandings and frustration. One moment my mom promised we would go somewhere fun the next day and the next day she wasn’t in the mood so we wouldn’t go, which made me disappointed. She would say things one moment and the next moment the opposite was true, so I had no clue what to expect. The rug could be pulled out from under me at any moment, and I had to tiptoe around eggshells in a futile attempt to avoid her temper. There were some things that happened that directly made me think that I was in charge of keeping my mom’s moods positive, which was of course not true. Since we both probably had ADHD and as a result both had rejection sensitivity, every time we get into an argument we always take things the wrong way. It was a hot mess. Now with the knowledge and awareness that I have ADHD and she could potentially have ADHD, things between us are significantly better and communication is a lot more direct, though of course we still have our difficulties. Nothing is perfect but knowledge and awareness of these issues goes a long way in helping.
Thanks so much for sharing your story and childhood with your mom. This is one of the positive comments here and I'm so grateful to hear you share a story that gives hope.
I’m not sure if my mom has ADHD, but my dad definitely does, and he as a result was the main “caregiver.” He would get so anxious when we were going anywhere, then take it out on us.
When I had issues growing up - I was calmed down by my mom who would say "I was just like you, your grandpa is even worse", then my daughter had issues too. Turns out our whole family tree has ADHD! My grandpa was extremely talented in several art-fields and math but also a hoarder and sometimes dysfunctional. And we all are very talented, so everyone around us would go about any issue of ours "Yeah, that's expected from creative people" "They're this messy family of artists and musicians", I am the first person to ever even hear the term ADHD...
Just diagnosed at 38. My son is 2. I'm working really hard to be a good Mom for him and I tell him i love him every day. Organization, task completion and time blindness are my challenges. I am really good at keeping a routine because it makes me feel good. I don't get rage so that's never been a problem.
You’re lucky that rage is not a problem. You are doing a great job just by being aware and learning more each day. He’s lucky to have you as him mom.
I suspect both my mom and I have undiagnosed ADHD, and I don't think my mom has ever had a conversation with me where she wasn't reading something or watching TV at the same time. As an adult I understand that need for stimulation, but it's still pretty horrible growing up knowing that you're so boring to your parent that a newspaper will always take first place for them.
By the way, I think you're the first ADHD content creator I've watched who mentions drowsiness as a symptom of low level of stimulation. I'd come to the same conclusion but I was doubting myself because nobody else seems to talk about it, everyone just always talks about hyperactivity. But it's my experience too that when I try to resist the hyperactivity and distractions, what follows is a horrible grogginess that's impossible not to react to. For example when I tried to practise meditation I legit thought I'd had an aneyrusm for a moment, because I suddenly got so tired I couldn't focus my eyes, my speech got slurred and I couldn't stay upright but fell on my side. When I stopped trying to empty my mind all these passed within seconds and then I was hyper. I think that had to be because of the falling dopamine level, that wasn't normal sleepiness plus it came and went so suddenly. Anyway, I wish that was talked about more in ADHD content, because it seems to me neurotypicals don't really understand what boredom does to us, everyone just seems to think we're such wussies we can't tolerate a slightly unpleasant emotion when in reality low dopamine has very real physical consequences. That's why we learn to run from that tiredness that isn't tiredness as babies and then we never stop running.
I was tested for narcolepsy twice in my early twenties because of the drowsiness and ability to fall asleep almost anywhere if I got bored. 20+ years later I got the ADHD diagnosis.
My mom almost certainly has adhd which is why it took me so long to get diagnosed, cause all my symptoms were normal for her… I definitely relate to most of the things in the video and when I got diagnosed I remember how frustrated my mom was because me being diagnosed reveled she had it but her thing was “what’s the point of getting diagnosed now”
Omg, I'm still in the beginning of the video, bit everything is so relatable already!!! And then you combine that with me having undiagnosed autism, and needing routine and stuff, and it was complete CHAOS.
I think over compensation or coping mechanisms could make some of the things be in reverse. I'm seeing ADHD signs in both of my parents, but then I think the points 1-6 were pretty much the exact opposite. In general, I think ADHD often presents itself as extremes, all or nothing, in many areas of life.
Wanna cry.
Thank you
My heart goes out to you ♥️
@@NeurodivergentMom ❤️
I did 😢…..
I was so unsure what my mom’s issue was for a long time… but there was definitely an issue 👀 now I’m certain she’s ADHD. Rejection Sensitivity ✅ bad investments (falling for scams really) ✅ impulsive ✅ the best example is when she bought a timeshare in the Bahamas while we were on vacation, randomly, out of the blue. I didn’t realize how to best support her, but now I have a much better understanding 🙏🏾🙏🏾
I'm so glad this brings more understanding in your relationship.
Narcolepsy is not the same as excessive daytime sleepiness due to staying up. It’s a completely different diagnosis.
Both are comorbid with ADHD.
Great video! I do disagree for the first one, or have another point I should say..in that that some adhd moms may want to create even at times, strict routines in order to keep some consistency and order in their household. I am not a mom yet, but I am very nit picky about some things in my house, and I believe a lot of it is because of overcompensation with my ADHD. If im not very organized, my life goes to crap.
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 3 kids deep and 8 years into parenthood. (I tried to go back to work part time, and couldn't hack it and decided to see if my oldest's recent diagnosis also applied to me)
The kids were actually extremely regulating for me. I could see that a regular routine was what they needed, and so that's what I worked very hard to give them. I was (and still am to a more relaxed degree now that they are older) a stickler for bedtime and meal schedule. They did much better with that than without, and although it was extremely challenging, it was beneficial to me, too.
@@er6730 absolutely! I nannied twin baby boys at 3 months when i was 19, and i was in school but i did it for 2 years. It was easy because they were on a schedule, you just basically do the same thing twice or simultaneously lol
When you say they can't form a routine, like is it just harder or absolutely impossible. I'd like to be able to be more routine based but I struggle so hard! I don't want my kids to not have routine like the way I was raised.
Trying to put in systems at the moment.
Same here
Hey, was it a question? (I am not native english) I am an adhd mum, late diagnosed one year ago. I can say it is possible to have a routine, even in the morning. But it is very hard. Best way for me, are fixed places for important stuff, that we need in the morning. Keys, Jackets, Hats, Shoes, etc. That helps a lot to not get overwhelmed in the morning. And your kids can learn it. For example, my have both adhd, but they check every morning their schoolplan (its hang at a fix place) to see, if they need their bag for sportlesson. Same with the bus ticket. We have a box, where they put it in, every day after school. So we dont have to search it every morning. That helps a lot. Do small steps tp envolve your system, dont overdue yourself or your brain will look out of all stuff. And: If you dont match your goal one day, it is okay. You can still do it the next day. Dont let your brain think, that your routine is broken now.
You can have a routine- it just looks different in ADHD. You need to really let go of "all or nothing approach" to routine, and take steps to support your habits (like visual schedule, reminders and stacking habits etc)
I've done basic things and some timers/alarms on my phone....so we mostly leave on time and mostly go to bed on time and mostly eat dinner at an ok time....
There's a lot of mostly😅
Wow, that sounds really bad. I definitely see myself in several of these. I try to work on saying "maybe we'll do this tomorrow" instead of "tomorrow let's go to the beach!" and then the next day "sorry, I didn't remember that sister has a birthday party in the afternoon, and I promised to bring a cake. We won't have time to do it all, I barely have time to make a cake!"
Thankfully, the "bored with the kids" and RSD because of children never was a problem for me. I do get exasperated when they don't eat supper. I HATE cooking! This is healthy and I made it so you will be healthy, and what's the point of all that boring work if it does you no good!
But I never doubted my children's love or my ability to parent them. It didn't hurt my feelings if I got screamed at "you're the worst mommy in the world!" because it was time to leave the playground. Being a SAHM was the first time I felt like I was excelling at something. (After the first year, during which I definitely felt like a failure. But I found a style that suited me with Janet Lansbury and her blog and later book "no bad kids" and everything clicked for me)
If I got bored in the way that only playing BINGO with a 2yo can produce 🥴 I shifted my focus to admiring how beautiful this child is, and how much she's developed in such a short time. And then I didn't have to be tortured by "now it's your turn. *Centuries pass* do you remember what to do? That's right, pick up a card. Oh, what's that, a pumpkin? Hmm, do you have any pumpkins?" and instead could just stare at her like 😍.
Mornings were pretty hectic but now my autistic husband has taken us in hand. Between the two of us, we have Systems.
Ah hell. I don't remember enough of my childhood to be able to even tell what my mom was like when getting ready for school etc.
Thanks for sharing. Big love to you.
Jesus christ, me and my son both have ADHD and I struggled with all these things but fully got myself diagnosed at 23 and my son at 8. So we've always grown up understanding each others short comings, and supporting each other when we see our ADHD is being disruptive in the home. God, I'm so grateful. It wasn't just me or just him. Not sure if that's weird, but yeah. We've got a great relationship and even share adhd memes with each other, lol.
You've described my childhood.
What an excellent video! Thank you for educating folks on ADHD and how it continues throughout adulthood. Both my parents have ADHD, and struggled with many (all?) of the issues you listed. It caused so many issues for my brothers and I growing up, the main one being basically left to raising ourselves. I also have ADHD and many struggles, and I married a wonderful neurodivergent man, but there are so many resources to help today that we use-from my calendar app to Alexa-to help keep track of things for us. I homeschool my kids who are neurodivergent as well, because once I realized I had ADHD I was able to clearly see all the kids who struggled with it in school, myself included, and I couldn’t do that to my kids. It’s not always easy, but there is so much love and understanding. My kids don’t struggle like I did because I know what to look for and how to help them in a way my parents didn’t. Thanks for this video!
Taking ownership of one’s own neurodivergence is the biggest gift one can give to their kids. You’re doing a great thing and are a positive example for the neurodivergent community.
How do you even heal from this? The older I am, the more I notice my mum in me and I'm so scared to pass it on onto my kids 😢
Ohhhh thank you! It’s been so hard to find information and support to try not to screw my kids up because I struggle so much w ADHD…I never know if their behavior is their ADHD, learned behaviors from inconsistencies in my parenting because of MY ADHD, or what! I can find loads of information on how to support and help my kids, but very little for ME to regulate myself and build healthy habits for them and me… it is exhausting! It is sooo exhausting trying to do all the things that seem so easy and obvious for other people.
Thank you. I can’t wait to see more of your channel
The guilt in knowing so much of this comes so naturally for other people really adds to the depression, that’s for sure!
Oh... the guilt is real. Add a dash of shame to that too.
I'm the mom. Well, the Nana now..I'm looking for videos about adhd in kids. All my kids are adhd. My boys were diagnosed by school, but my daughter wasnt, of course, she was masking very well and i was only dx in my 40s. Now my granddaughter is 6, i see all the signs, but her father refuses to see them. I keep telling them its a genetic condition, to no avail. So in looking for videos i found yours. And it's been very healing. Thank you.
You’re a great Nana! I wish your granddaughter all the help that your boys were able to get.
It seems easier to pass on girls with adhd since some of the emotional regulation symptoms are just written off as being moody and lazy.
@@francescavideos I've read alot on the impact of puberty and menopause on neurodivergent female brains and what it means during those periods of our lives. At least I'm coming in equipped with new literature that wasn't available for me back then. Even when I started my périmenopause. 🫠😂 And thank you, that's very nice of you. ✨♥️
@@francescavideos oh, I have to add, we've been thru a lot of healing. A lot of generational trauma from my mother that was abusive, (I have severe c-ptsd, adhd and autism) and my kids who had to grow up with my trauma, which is traumatic by itself. We're not a perfect family, we've had all these signs at some point in our life. I did. Not them. I was a single mother . They are almost all adults now. And we've gone thru the hills , but we're closer than ever. I'm so grateful. ❤
Feel free to share this with the father. Maybe an outsider POV helps?
@@NeurodivergentMom I have ☺️
Can you share a list of the symptoms somewhere?
Great video!
Huh, I am a parent who was asleep on the third paragraph of bedtime story. But, I was so sleep deprived then, it's crazy I was able to even open the book.
Wow. Yep, my Mom….although, she also had suffered an actual TBI when she was 8 yrs old, she got run over by a truck. Had been in a coma for 2 weeks and developed spinal meningitis too. This was also before antibiotics (Mom born in 1918 & I’m now in my 60’s). Anyway, her TBI created cognitive difficulties and emotional dysregulation, I’m not sure if it was her TBI or ADHD, or both. Dad and Mom BOTH very explosive people. Dad could’ve had ADHD butI think he was more OCD.
Anyway, I never wanted to have children and thank goodness I never did….I have ADHD and it was certainly never identified when I was a kid. I was just punished a lot for well….being a kid w/ ADHD. It certainly tho colored my childhood enuf to where having kids of my own wasn’t ever something I strongly desired. I managed tho to make thru college and the only kid out of 4 that did go to a 4 year university. Interestingly, became an OT who worked with all types of people but I seemed esp well suited to folks with…..BRAIN INJURIES. No surprise,,esp after really coming to terms with my own neurodivergence but esp having developed a great deal of compassion and understanding for my mother’s own struggles. Sadly, she passed before she truly experienced this from me in the physical, real world sense. I have felt her presence in my life tho as an adult (she passed when I was 20).
Thank you for sharing this info!
Thank you. I was first diagnosed in my early 40's as ADD. A few month's later a more thorough examination said no I had milf Bi-Polar often misdiagnosed as ADD. Some of the behaviors you listed were I had. Poor money management and today at 72 I struggle with time estimates. This explains why my niece and sister are always chronically late as I use to be.
I am a mom, and not too long ago I found out I may have ADHD, and my son too...that is not easy for me or for him...I need to find resources for both of us.
WOW 100% me. My 3 are adults now. They did turn out OK. All have college degrees& good jobs!
Those signs are also signs of extreme stress and many other things such as trauma too and that can be caused by many factors including poverty, the overwhelm associated with overachievers and also impoverished for different reasons but causing same symptoms. Dont’ know why these days we have to but labels on things that are very much environmental ..being the child of an immigrant in a new country and so many things but we put it on the individuals…missing the cause and therefore the treatments/solutions.
It’s always immigrants who deny the truth.Nothing wrong with labeling an issue and tackling that issue but you
Prefer it being swept
Under the rag lol.No
Wonder so
Many children will suffer under people like you.
You should change the title to possible signs linked to ADHD. I can relate to many of these. I'm running late often, but I have noticed the times I get off my phone and not waste time I'm more efficient and head out the door "on time" a lot of us feel we have no time I'm one, but in reality we waste a ton of our time since we are highly attached to our phones or electronics.
I often fell asleep reading to my kids. I'd like to see if I have autism or ADHD because most of this fits me.
Saaaaame! I get so tired and end up falling asleep with my little one
Diagnosed at 40 after my second child was born. Even with medication, I still have trouble with many of the things listed here.
My next video will help you. It's for ADHD moms specifically!
I am this mum. So many family and friends who are diagnosed tell me I am too.. but the psych disagreed 🤷♀️ how do you manage when you can’t get the help despite it being a big issue in your life. They only see the anxiety 🤷♀️
I had the same problem. I couldn’t get my GP to refer me to a psych so I couldn’t get meds. I still told everyone o am ADHD and started natural remedies like high magnesium supplements and life changes like drastically Decluttering our family SCHEDULE. Decluttering the house is still a struggle but I know it would help.
And the doc didn’t refer me because I appear so normal or “high functioning”. Unfortunately it’s just that I’ve developed a strong mask to hide my neurodivergence over the years.
Oh dear! Some of this points are true for me. Especially time management, chaos, horting, anxiety, feeling guilty to be a bad mom, bad relationship to the partner, bad organisaition skills, high score of sensitiy and take things personal, hate being told what I have to do.
Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear about that and what I effected to my poor childs.
But in maths I am very good and I sleep well.
Perhaps just ADD, without H
I found none of it is too hard if you are ALLOWED to have your resources with which to do it.
The part where the parent takes things personally doesn’t sound like ADHD to me.
Many people with ADHD are very empathetic and not particularly disagreeable in their temperament.
ADHD parents have issues with staying organized and time management etc but they are also self-aware and will engage in self blame rather than exploding at their partner or kids.
I’d attribute the difficulties with emotional outbursts and taking things personally to either emotional immaturity or possibly autism. Not taking things personally involves having empathy & interpreting social cues and interactions “correctly” - something that can be especially challenging for someone with autism.
This is just my personal experience and observations of how people with ADHD vs people with autism tend to act.
Out of the blue, I signed my kids out of school and we started homeschooling that very day. We all now know about neurodivergence and talk openly about it.
Thank you for doing these videos. It will help so many people.
I have Bipolar and these symptoms fit that too.
Autism is often misdiagnosed in young women in their 20s (or was about 25-30 years ago)
@@NeurodivergentMom yes I know. Many psychiatrists didn’t believe girls could have autism. I know my 3rd daughter has autism and despite seeing different specialists since she was 2(even a neurologist) she wasn’t diagnosed with autism(or anything) until the school stepped in and had a specialist see her is the school environment too. She was diagnosed at 10yo. My daughter is now 24 and got a full time job no one thought that would happen and for her to keep it. We all did everything we could to teach her manage life as independently as possible. Sometimes ADHD is misdiagnosed when the person has experienced trauma from a young age and also inter generational trauma. I always suspected something was not right with my mum but I figured it was her unstable and other abusive childhood. It was partly due to CPTSD but now at 66 she has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I wouldn’t consider her abusive or neglected but we were often couch surfing(basically homeless) twice my brother and I had to live with other family members because we were homeless.
@@sharonwadwell2425 thanks for sharing your story. It’s incredible that your mom got her diagnosis so late in life. I hope that brings understanding to the entire family.
My dad!
😢 I am a mother with adhd. Man, that’s frustrating AF
This is all so true. I'm a late diagnosed ADHD parent of neurodivergent kids. What's interesting is that this is the first time I've considered that my mother probably had ADHD too 😂
Ur th first Person to KNOW what I Am talking ablut & th first to Truly empathize.
Im sure You can imagine th challengez of mating w a PDAer..
Thx for seeing Me.
Alwayz learning & doing My best to Be My best
Aloha
This made me cry.. i dont know if i have ADHD or not but can certainty relate to some of the symproms.. disorganisation in mornings, inability to focus when there are too many tasks. I organise but to a certain degree. Cant organise completely
I am a mom. I believe that I probably have ADHD. I have many of those signs.
My daughter is ADHD.
My mother probably was, but told me that I really wasn't ADHD... but I believe that I am.
Thank you ❤
You are welcome 🫶🏽
As an adhd mom, I know it is my responsibility to manage my own rage and responsibilities and not take every rejection so personally (which leads to more rage!). It happens over and over again and adhd feels like such a cop out.
Is it my family’s responsibility to walk on egg shells around me? Should I be medicated every day?
I know I’m supposed to exercise everyday to help manage some of this, but I don’t.
It feels like every time I rage that the solution is just to learn to better control my emotions. From where I stand, it looks like emotional regulation just happens naturally and I just never developed it since I didn’t really have enough socializing or interpersonal hardship with peers growing up to develop a more robust capacity to self regulate.
A lonely childhood is also a hallmark of adhd unfortunately.
It's true. ADHD and Autism can make a child have a lonely life.
It's not a cop out. The first step is acknowledging what's there. only then can we heal.
My family all have undiagnosed ADHD and myself I feel such a failure and so guilty for not being the best mum for my children
I’m pretty sure I have some form of ADHD but I still try to have patience and time for my child
Trying is all we can do
You are so amazing. Thank you for making this video
Thanks for watching!
Totally my mom. She was diagnosed later in life on the autism spectrum but this was her to a t
So much to learn at 66
It's never too late as long as we are still breathing.
I don't know about my mother, but just from the picture alone I know my ex-wife did. She was always doing laundry, she just never finished the laundry. I always had clothes for work and I also have ADHD so it wasn't a problem. I just found the picture funny because there was always a pile of clean clothes in our bedroom.
I remember some scenes JUST LIKE THIS from my teen years as well living at home.
Thanks now I know that i have ADHD.
Not all people with ADHD have rejection sensitivity dysphoria. Please be more aware of the harm of creating stereotypes.
Yes that would be even more tragic. These ADHD individuals make it so hard to be around and share a life with them. Of course people want to step away from this chaos and mess they are causing. Yet that’s what they are super sensitive about 😆 ridiculous.
Then work on yourself, get on medication, manage yourself instead of letting the other people in your life deal with your crazy mess. Maybe then you will be easier to be around and people stop rejecting you.
Only halfway through the video, but seems everything so far is being referred to as “a sign” 🪧 of ADHD
@@alexguerra1668 ugh so disappointing. Bad enough to spread disinformation that’s definitely not in the DSM, but to be encouraging laypeople to be diagnosing other people based on these “signs” is so harmful.
I don’t recall her saying that you have to display all of the signs that she mentions.
@@DiamondButterfly921 You missed the point. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is not a sign of ADHD. That’s like saying that eating ice cream is a sign of being a little girl because some little girls eat ice cream.
This is me to a tee but you forgot to include the bouts of self-medication and poor choices in people and the inability to process grief. My son hates me and calls me a child abuser and worse. He is 40 and completely dysfunctional and blames me for everything. I'm 65 ( I was finally diagnosed at 43 after I began research to help him) and he now takes advantage of me and guilts me into supporting him on my social security and a little part time job. I sent him this video but I don't have much hope of him getting any benefit if he even watches it.
Thanks for sending this video to your son. The thing is only with understanding and empathy will he find true healing from the childhood pain. There's a saying in therapy - if you've had a childhood, you've had trauma. It just goes hand in hand because a child's heart is so innocent and sensitive.
My mom was on the fence about having kids, and my dad has MS. They decided to just have 1… I really wish they hadn’t.
Despite years of treatment, my life just feels like a cruel joke. Mental and physical illness just gets worse.
ADHD is more of environmental and familial factors.
To anyone watching this,Don't label yourself. ADHD will become a norm due to internet , social media , and lifestyle ( hustle culture)
We having more neurodivergents nowadays is part of human evolution.
I wear my ADHD "label" proudly. Not calling an apple, an apple, doesn't change that it's still an apple.
I enjoyed this! Thank you
Glad you enjoyed it!
I’m 36 undiagnosed (my assessment is in 2 days) I’m also a mom of 4 and this is my life.
I am hoping to start medication soon but for the moms who are not yet diagnosed magnesium really does help! Obviously it’s not an adderal but it just slows the mind enough while you await meds or therapy and makes things feel less 😂🙃🥸🤩😭😫😴😣🙃🙃🙃
OMG Magnesium saved me 2 years ago when I couldn't get a diagnosis because my GP didn't refer me to a psychiatrist. I also gave my son kid's magnesium to help him regulate himself.
Trouble is that a lot of these symptoms can be signs of borderline personality disorder or other mental health issues.
Yes there are a lot of comorbidities
I don't particularly think my mom was ADHD but i think i am. I tried to get a diagnosis online but they recommended a full psych evaluation because there could b other stuff going on too, at first i thought ok yeah great but now i feel stupid, i didn't realize how expensive that is. It's a complete barrier at least for the time being and i can't easily picture it seeming doable any time soon either, very disappointing
This may help with my relationship with my children
I truly hope this helps.
Did I have ADHD; Or did I have too much responsibility and little support/inconsistent support from the other parent?
Could it be both?
My keiki'z Dad iz so PDA Autistic - I Am so greatful for leaening of Otherz experiencez..
I brought up th concept to Him about 3 yearz ago & He waz like... ooooh! Yeeea... & had this wave of relief.
Of course accepting th label iz tranzient, az Hiz nature to rebel iz inherent it seemz..
Mahalo
PDA autism is such a hard thing to have In a family member
I know because my son has it
It creates confusion and heartbreak
Thanks for your comment
I got my ADHfD diagnosis in my late 50's and of course....I can see in some of my family, especially my mum and a sibling. My dad was more ASD, I think some of my siblings have both, like me, or lean more towards one than another. Of course, my mum has poo-pooed it 🤔
Bloody hell! My kids had no chance!
Bless your heart and give grace. Mom’s are falling asleep because we are tired as hell. While the kids sleep in until 8 am Mom (and dads) are up at 4 trying to workout, pack lunches and get a head start on a work project so they can get off early to pick up the kids to drive them to tutors and soccer and band and finish homework and cook. They are not going to bed until late because they need to get the kids ready for bed and read those bedtime stories (can not focus because I have been up since 4 am and I still need to clean the kitchen so I am not a bad mom). Sorry got off track must be my ADHD. Maybe the mom is crying or being emotional because that is how she feel and everyone think parents are not human and not allowed to say being a parent is hard work. Maybe out of the blue she threw the family in the car to take a trip to the beach without planning it out because it’s hard to find the perfect time because life is busy and sometime you just have to drop life to go have fun instead of planning it all out…..let’s just go do it. Maybe there is a pile of laundry and dishes on the sink but did I go to work to make money to take care of my kids, are my kids need met before my own……yes absolutely ….everyday all day. But I completely understand your need for routine because you are on the spectrum, my son is on the spectrum. And the ONE thing that I made sure he did not have on purpose was a routine…..because that is not how the world works. To survive my kiddo needed to be able to adjust. At age 3 he was non verbal. He is now a college graduate living on his own and is able to adjust as life dictates. Parents do not have ADHD. We have love and trying to do our best and because it’s not perfect and in order and not completely done all the time does not mean there is something wrong and we need medicine and a label. We need Grace and a Nap.
Mine has undiagnosed NPD. She fits the criteria to the whole section!
I’m the mom with add.
How did I not get diagnosed till now? I’m impulsive with baskets shelves and kitchen dishes, but I also can get rid of things. I think I might be on the spectrum as well
It's a wide spectrum... I'm an ADHD + Autistic mom and I can't stand dishes in the sink but at the same time I have a clutter problem at home...
Unfortunately, a mom with undiagnosed ADHD will be demonstrating how not to "manage" ADHD, which is difficult for kids who also have ADHD. It's usually genetic.
This is Me. Now what?!?
Now what…? Hmm I’d recommend 1. finding out as much about adhd and how it impacts motherhood, 2. Disclose 3. Accommodation (ask for it from family and the system, whether school system or social system or both)
Took my kid having too many melt downs and me being like i got more than depression and bipolar doesn't cover all my issues.... Ahhhh test this kid! Ohh if she's ADHD.... Test me!!!! See told youcrazy world i had way more issues!!! Oh wait 😢 .... Well shit.... Um ... So parenting tips for raising an adhd kid...ok cool, but what if the single mom has the adhd too?!!! I can't model this shit?! Like all the vids i keep seeing are like help for single adults with ADHD and thats nice, but as a single mom i need more than tips and tricks for me. Im supposed to not just be a functioning adult and keep a job, but also be a mom and get this kid to Girl scouts and soccer and And and aaahhhhhh no one can find shoes!!!!
Ok kid youfind my shoes, ill find yours, and who finds them first can work on finding the keys and .... Now we're late.... who's takingthe blame today? 😅
The # of therapy sessions ive forgot or been too late for....
The # of quite or lost jobs....
I swear being a new mom was my hyper focus/new favorite craft!!! Longest one ever, 😂....
Thanks we moms with adhd with kids with adhd definitely need help!!!
i love
your channel
♥️🫶🏽 thanks so much for saying that. It made my day.
It was being a single mother of two young children not ADHD.
You said: "you can break the pattern", but how? Its genetic. 😅
I meant breaking the pattern of making parenting mistakes by being unaware of our neurodivergent traits. With awareness we can embrace our and our kids neurodiversity and work with it not against it.
Find solutions and tools to deal with the issues so that they don't become issues for the children. Example: setting alarms so that you do not miss appointments. Example: Seeing a therapist. Example: hiring a maid to help you clean because you have issues getting chores done.
Are the weird sounds intentional
Yes... to highlight the text dropping in. I'll take your input to heart. I've been meaning to get rid of the sound anyway. Thanks for your feedback.
Is rejection sensitivity really a symptom of ADHD? Maybe a secondary symptom because they experienced a lot of social rejection in the past. I can’t see why it would be primary symptom.
It is rooted in taking everything personally. Rejection sensitivity is also super common in autism. We think everyone's actions are a reflection on us and that means if they reject a "thing" we assume that they are rejecting us.
It's not rooted from social rejection because from experience I can tell that I've taken light comments from peers in highschool way too personally and didn't talk to some people for months when it was a simple passing comment from a trusted friend. I blew it up in my mind because of my rejection sensitivity.
It is a primary symptom! It can even be seen in ADHD children. They are quick to become critical of themselves.
Going from love to hate is not an ADHD symptom, that is a symptom of much more serious conditions than ADHD. That is more likely BPD or NPD. ADHD is often a symptom of underlying conditions like CPTSD. Don't minimize child abuse by dismissing it as ADHD. ADHD doesn't make you hate your kids or cause extreme mood instability that way. It's unethical and irresponsible to make claims like this when you are not an expert. You need to just stick to your own personal experience and not try to justify abusive behavior to ADHD.
Way to make it obvious that you don’t actually know anything about diagnosing ADHD because BPD, SPD, TS, Bipolar Disorder, Autism, they are all co occurring disorders. You do not receive an ADHD diagnosis, or an Autism diagnosis nor Tourette Syndrome diagnosis, alone. In Neurology, Comorbidities must exist. All of this set aside, she isn’t even specifiying about abuse towards the child. She’s talking about mood instability in general. Idk if you need to be here or if you’re just a pick me who struggles with critical thinking.
Also ADHD is exasperated by CPTSD, not a symptom of it nor is it caused by it. Which is why it is often misdiagnosed as “just” anxiety or depression
For the OP, YES, this! I wanted to like and maybe subscribe, as this is the first video I’ve seen by this creator, but the way the concept was presented….”if you or your mom have adhd, you’re going to flip flop between loving and hating your kids”….what? True, that can absolutely be a symptom of a comorbidity (like BPD or CPTSD) but that is NOT the ADHD, and the potential comorbid causes of that kind of emotional fluctuation were not mentioned. Also, it is possible to have comorbids that DON’T cause that particular dysregulation. Everything else was spot on, but upsettingly, not that.
I'm the mother. Why are you talking so loud at me. Lol
Aaackkk!!! Please recall that the absolute best things in life come BECAUSE of the bounty of an ADHD (or other ND) brain. The brain is not the problem: society and imposed norms are the problem.
agreed
Do you accept Medicare or Medi-cal?
Unfortunately not because I live in Switzerland and do online coaching/support.
please can you timestamp the video, thanks
UA-cam is supposed to create chapters automatically.
@@NeurodivergentMom i'm sorry but i cant see the chapters on my youtube, so no timestamps.
Does Adhd develops with childwood trauma?
No, it's genetic. Trauma can present similar to ADHD, but ADHD is present since birth.
Agreed
Could it be mom is Borderline?
Autism and adhd often gets misdiagnosed as borderline
this sounds more like bipolar not adhd
Autism is often misdiagnosed as bipolar
What you describe in the intro sounds much more like Narcissism. Always ask a mental health professional.
Maybe you need to let the government run your life
Because they really care about you!!
Not like your mom eh who has stood by you all your life even when it was so hard she struggled
Tell your mom she was bad wrong and mentally ill and then you and your mom can get c do dosed up on antidepressants 👍 Great!!!
Um. The interpersonal stuff, the running hot & cold- no.
My mom had a full time job an hour away and two kids.
I’m turning off this video.
I don’t need to sit here and listen to this chick shame my poor dead mom!
Just subscribed. If you can help me, it’ll be good
Thanks so much for the sub!