Hey Steve: Premarital Counseling? || STEVE HARVEY
Вставка
- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- Friends and family are recommending they do premarital counseling before the marriage. She thinks it’s a good idea but her fiance doesn’t - should they go?
SUBSCRIBE to get the latest from #STEVETVShow:
Steve Harvey is EVERYWHERE!
STEVE Website | stevetv.com
FACEBOOK | @STEVEHARVEYTV
SteveHarveytv
INSTAGRAM | stevetvshow
stevetvshow
TWITTER | @SteveTVShow
stevetvshow
She's gorgeous
In a Chaka Khan kinda way
I was about to say that natural beautiful some women are bless
yes she is
She’s decently pretty.
Gorgeous where?
Counseling is a must!!! Counseling will help give you tools to problem/ conflict resolution. Having disagreements are wonderful for marriage when you can resolve them with out damaging or disrespecting each others beliefs, experiences, point of view & background etc.
She’s so sweet and green! God Bless their marriage🙌🏽🙏🏽💕
A lot of churches require a premarital class before they will marry you! It's a good idea!
Divorce rate isn't slowing down still
Timi Adetona cuz people ain’t going to premarital class
@@adustygreasyandsweatybonnet No it’s cuz people don’t know what marriage is about. It’s called HARD WORK. Not SERVE ME AND I TAKE TAKE TAKE.
@@Kal-El207 I agree with that
Nah it because people not equally yoked or they don’t let God lead them to the right person and people picking the wrong people instead of asking God First or I would way people be leaving off financial problems
She is soo pretty and more counseling can’t hurt only help...
Premarital counseling is the only way my bishop is marrying you in our church, it's absolutely mandatory. Having God at the center of your marriage is great, but you need to iron out the details surrounding your marriage before you say I Do. Premarital counseling won't hurt, just go and do your sessions and count down the days until you are married and implement what you learned from the sessions into your marriage
Definitely. Actually counseling should be part of school curriculum.
Marriage should be a school subject.
ua-cam.com/video/RoQyZRWIenY/v-deo.html
All my friends who didn't do premarital counseling are divorced because they didn't know so many things. But my wife and I had it and going on 11 years best advise I got from my grandparents who been married 45 years. I think to often people say pray about it but don't realize there has to be work done
Great post!!!
My mom and dad have had marriage counseling with their spouses and both have been divorced 3x. My husband and I haven't had any counseling and we're going on 15 yrs together. It really depends on the people more than the counseling in my opinion.
@@xxnarutxx3938 If you don't mind me asking how old are you ?
No it depends on the people. Even more than that, it depends on how big of a part God played in the decision on WHO they married.
What I find is that people seek God for blessings in their health, finances, careers-and almost every other area of their lives. But when it comes to relationships and marriage-all of a sudden we don’t need His wisdom in that.
We know who/what we like and based on that, pick our spouses. And unfortunately, many people are simply NOT marrying the person God had for them! They are marrying counterfeits sent by the enemy. Then 2-3 years later it’s time for divorce. Why? Because God was never involved in these “unions”. Not by a long shot...
@@d.c.4706 OK I see I need to rewrite my comment because people are taking it wrong. So let me be clear I wanted to give an example that support what Steve is saying and thats one simple fact marriage counseling is good. I have never hear of a couple saying premarital counseling is bad.
I know it depends on the people but I aslo know that disclaimer has a beginning so in the beginning people think they want to get married and that they have it together but the moment they have to talk and it's in disagreement they mad premarital counseling will help with many of those issues it worked for me and I have a lot of friends who refused it just to get divorced later and what was the issue communication IJS
If you would want to plan for a successful career or wedding, why not marriage? Pre-marital Counseling is a great way to discuss scenarios/expectations and hash out a plan of action before it comes up during your marriage.
Agreed!
I love Steve's response
Everyone should do premarital counsel. Then counseling maybe every year for a couple weeks. You work on, fix up, fine tune and learn about everything else in life. Why not do the same in one of the most important things you will ever do. Even if you have no “issues.” Just refresh make sure you are on the right track every now and then. Real talk.
Very wise suggestion. Thank you. New couples need all the support they can get.
God uses people... 'In the multitude of counsel there is safety.' Godly counsel is a good thing.👍💙
Premarital counseling is a must ! , from a doctor perspective
"Marriage is hard" Depends on who you marry, in which case you discover more when you go into counseling
God says that my people suffer for lack of knowledge - not lack of love.
Go to counseling...
It's nice to know what to expect before going into something as big as marriage
That is what dating is for.
Man... if I would've known this 😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂.
Pre-Marriage councilling may be a Blessing!
This girl is cute. Black beauty
All you need in your marriage is God,marriage is really hard, marriage takes a lot of sacrifices,premarital counseling is great idea ,from the counselling you have some clues on handling your problems.
That's absolutely not all you need. I know people who have had alot of God and still got divorced which shows that is not all you need. Many modern day pastors also subscribe to this thinking.
@@dylonvr9595 actually no they don't. Many modern day pastors won't marry you without premarital counseling.
@@NODE1975 subscribed to the thinking that you need more than just God. People need to stop saying this. It puts alot of people in trouble.
You need to sit down first together and discuss all matters. Then, you need to plan how to use the educational resources in the market on marriage to say take a self help course to set the background for both of you. Afterwards, you can pinpoint the the complicated matters as a result of your prior work and take it from there for counseling.
I think uncle Steve should counsel them..Lol!!..
Counsel!!
@@theolamarshall-bernard thanks
Salute to Steve always giving good advice!!!
Steve is absolutely right and the woman asking the question is gorgeous! Premarital counselling is ALWAYS a good idea. You don't lose anything by going to it, so I don't think anyone in their right mind would be against it. Do not go into marriage blinded by love. Marriage is real, hard stuff.
The Bible says there is safety in multitude of counsels. The God focused man missed a portion of the Bible, I wonder how many more portions he has missed?
@herkeda unfortunately, there are a lot of us around. I was watching a document saying that almost hafh of the abortion in the US affect women who regularly go to church (all denomonations) so it seems we are as active as the world.
We have to keep watching and praying.....
Bingo
@herkeda Interesting.. I wish Steve would've hinted around to that..
Right?! He sounds fishy ,kinda a loser. I was thinking a God centered man would be emphasizing pre marital counseling
Smh my boyfriend doesn’t believe in it
My husband and I went to premarital counseling and honestly, the short counseling sessions didn't seem to really prepare us for the experience of two lives coming together as one. Ultimately, experience became our best revealing teacher.
Yikes she sounds naive. Steve asked that question on purpose and her answer was very telling.
D. C.
@herkeda- so the fact that he is a man of God shouldn’t be what she admires most about him?!
The PROBLEM is that there aren’t enough men who have a relationship with God. To marry a man that claims to love an imperfect you, but has no time to fellowship and fall in love with a perfect God is downright foolery.
What does his “integrity” matter if he can’t be the spiritual covering you need because he has no relationship with God?
And even if he has a little integrity, when there is no genuine relationship and allegiance to Christ, the enemy can come and steal that in record time.
My point-her feeling like his faith and spirituality is what she loves most (in my opinion) makes her absolutely ready to be the helpmeet God has called her to be within this marriage. Not enough women are prioritizing properly...🤷🏽♀️
@Elle D you are absolutely correct.
None of them knows jack about each other for real. They are not ready to stay married they are just ready for the wedding and have a party.
@Elle D you speak Gold right there and there is a lot of christian men put there just like that. Being a servant of God is not enough to prove that you are a good committed man.
Very Naive....Unexposed...Sheltered....Innocent! Hmmm....
Ladies, premarital counselling is ESSENTIAL for a healthy and sustaining marriage 🙌🏽✨
Hmmm, it comes off like he has a big ego. Why wouldn't you want wisdom that has been tested by those before you. And the bible encourages older women and men to teach those who are younger. It's a bit weird, but my advice to her would be to make sure he respects your voice as well
This is so true, so much wisdom and knowledge from those older than us especially when it comes to marriage (they have long marriages, 30+ years)
@Nattie bubbles ... Yeah, he sounds like a narcissist, religious type, wanting to control her.
She Needs to Watch Out....I Disagree with the Fiance! Something is Not right with his reasoning!
Gurl!!! That's an excuse for him not to be exposed on his stuff! My recent ex-husband did that & FUTURE FAKED me to death to the point that I later found out he's a Covert Narcissist! If he refuses to go, it lets you know how religious he is! And he's not balanced as a Christian! It's preached to some people that all you need is God! Doctors are not NECESSARY when Luke was a doctor & a disciple of Jesus!
Maralina, gurl....you spoke the whole truth and nothing but!!!! As a woman of God myself, I hope she sees your comment and not marry him if he refuses to get counseling. I hope he truly is a man of God, but refusing to get counseling is suspect! Too much manipulation, witchcraft, and spiritual immaturity going on now days.
@@denisebigsbee5488 gurl yesss.... I went thru the gammit with my ex-husband. I met him at an event at his church! I was so sheltered in my old church, what I now know was spiritual abuse to the point that I didn't recognize their were trauma bonds similar to his church & we bonded based on trauma bonds from our childhood.. but to God be the Glory that our marriage was short vs. 15 years with that joker! Although the trauma & aftermath is still real no matter what!
Not everyone are like your Ex husband though
@@sdmfp333 I Never Ever said that & the Intent was Never a male bashing session... If you took it as that, it let's me know how things sit with you internally!... but in the grand scheme of things, in the multitude of counsel there is safety!... I pointed that out so people will know what to look out for... You take the meat & through out the bones! Have a good day!
I was just thinking that... girl... this is a full truth!!! She don't know what she's in for if she marries this person... him REFUSING to go to pre-marital counseling is a big ole fat RED FLAG!! next, he's gonna refuse to be her husband and then deny his role as a father to... God forbid their future offspring... she better think twice before walking down that aisle... it's better to know this now than later once their married and going through problems she foreseen before the marriage... I sure do hope she reads our posts. Agreed with both you ladies... #beentheredonethatnotgoingback
Always sooner than later 🤓
I always wondered if my ex husband and I had done counseling would we have gotten a divorce?? Or maybe prevented us from getting married in the first place. I allowed him to ignore my very strong feelings of needing counseling and he ended up having an affair. So I think counseling works sometimes
Premarital counseling is a must. Often times people think because they are in love they are ready to be married. Marriage requires so much more. It is good to have a professional sit you down and get you to think about the challenges that will come.
It's one thing to "feel" love for someone. Its another thing to know how to articulate that feeling into actions, words, and a shared experience. Young people need help with that process. Because what good is that feeling if you can't adequately translate into something the other person understands and benefits from, and vice versa.
“All we need is God and we will be fine “🤣🤣🤣🤣LMAO these men 🤦🏾♀️
Steve is so wise! Honestly
I do love counseling 💞
*Great input Steve! Exactly right*
I went to it. It’s good to see the problems that may come up. We also had to write letters to each other and the church mailed it. I still have it. I was married for two years and unfortunately my husband passed away. Too young to go
Deeply sorry to you Bam Glam for the passing of ur Husband. God continue to give u His peace that passes all understanding.
GKilowatt thank you
Ur more than welkm Bam Glam
Sorry for your loss. Good bless you. 🙏🏽❤️
Counseling is on a basic level provides Accountability Which we all need and it tough for Most Men because we're limited in our communication skills and it ain't easy for us give disclosure a person we dont know
Hello every one Thumb up Steve TV God bless
We didn't do premarital counseling and we are doing just fine . 6 years strong some people need it some don't.
😂😂😂😂😂😂.....oh yeah, God ain't gonna come up one bit when you start arguing....I'm a living witness, I know that for sure lol.......I love God and he's at the center of all I do but when that argument hits...looool.....God don't ever come up in it lmao
I went to counseling and told the Dr that I had a plan...first my fiance would come in, alone, so she could speak uninhibited about us. Next was my turn. Then we would come in together. After following this weekly schedule for 4 months, I said we needed another therapist. When asked WHY? I said because You believe a relationship is worth ANY SACRIFICE to keep alive....I don't. I can't and won't give in on everything.
I'm married. I can tell you now, most of those problems is when you get with a insecure, selfish, and stubborn. You mainly need communication, understanding, and sacrifice
Her husband saying all they need is God should be a red flag 🚩 as lovely as it sounds.
I’m glad Steve told her the truth. My friend got engaged and I suggested they go to premarital counseling and she never answered my emails :(
Nothing more sad than seeing girls blindly in love with a stubborn man.
A red flag for what exactly? Wisdom to know the Holy Spirit IS his counselor? I’m always amazed at self professing followers of Christ who would rather go sit in the counsel of a man/woman (equally flawed) to get some kind of “wisdom” BEFORE they depend on the power of God. It’s just strange to me....🤷🏽♀️
@@d.c.4706 The Spirit of God already had written down in His Word: "In the MULTITUDE OF COUNCILLORS, there is safety." God already knows that younger Spirit-filled people need counsel from older, more experienced Spirit-filled people... so, the Spirit of God would NEVER contradict Himself on BOTH SIDES of the Bible and lead any future husband-- a young man marrying a young woman in this case -- to say, "All we need is God." No. That is his flesh not wanting to be examined or held accountable, and a sure sign that he thinks HE is going to interpret the Word of God alone for his marriage and eventually become TYRANNICAL.
The Spirit of God wrote down in His Word several millennia ago: go seek wise, Godly counsel before and during doing anything of importance -- to contradict THAT is to contradict GOD HIMSELF.
You can attend all the counseling in this world, if you are unwilling to apply yourself, nothing's going to work.
@Nattie bubbles we cant say that absolutely. There are many who didn't attend premarital counseling with successful marriages. They are just humble enough to learn as they go.
She is a sweetheart.
I got married at 25 and thought the same thing. But I went anyway. 7 years, and a lot of trails and tribulations later, I'm glad I did go. We've had a wonderful marriage, I couldn't have imagined the things that we've been thru (no cheating, drugs nor violence Thank God) but I could write an essay on things that have tested us. I'd ask him what does he have to lose by going. Why not just go bc she wants to go and her family wants them too? Follow the advice and sacrifice for those whom u love. My wife's family required us to go to receive their blessing. 7 years later, I appreciate the fact they did that.
@Nattie bubbles thank you!
Since he focus so much on the Lord. She can have his pastor explain that to him. Marriage counseling is important. Done!
Tell her what that's what God wants you to do your funny good episode telling what that's what God wants you to do LOL have a good day God bless
Premarital counselling should be mandatory
Premarital counseling is good for the most part. But for two matured couples seriously wanting to settle down and understand each other well, you don't need an elder in a church to prep-talk you into that.
If he is so God centered, why is he against the premarital counseling? Most churches try to educate its members about courtship (especially young people) and they promote premarital counseling, so I find this very strange. Even outside of a Christian context, he should be interested in taking some sort of class or doing some form of preparation for marriage so his excuse doesn't make sense. He may not be as Christ-centered as she thinks.
Yes, I want to do premarital counseling from Church when the time comes and hopefully we'll be on the same page about it 🙏
Pre-marital counselling is your friend. It will help you identify your differences before they come up and help you navigate your relationship
Love that color combo on Steve !! And she’s a truly lovely young woman.
She is so pretty!!!!
25, he don't know s...... ,like my mom told me ,you don't have a pot to piss in and the window throw it out of..lolol that what she said to me ,love you mom...lolo..
@Cashmere funk...What a sweet mom you have! I love your sweetness, love and respect towards your mom! May God continue to bless you.❤💖...I love when my 2 grown children do the same.🤗😍😘😘
@@patriciastraker8840 woooow iam speechless thanx you Patricia.
Man oh man how many times I've heard that pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of phrase coming up🤣...u know that's coming straight from a black household..set us straight real quick..facts😂
@@candycesaturday7218 lololo crazy right my mom was straigth up real Talk candyce, funny ,fast forward to day wooow we made it lolol
Cashmere Funk yes we made it🤣..and now I'm telling my kids that very same phrase!...isn't life funny💁🏾☺️
THAT BLUE AND BROWN THO 👍🏾👌🏾🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
In the Bible it says that seeking counsel is WISE. Especially for relationships knowing the devil tries to break Godly marriages.
Steve gives the best answers! Wow! 😂❤
Get counseling from a licensed professional... Truth be told, most clergy are counseling couples based on their previous EXPERIENCE & misaligning the scriptures in the Bible... There are countless couples where infidelity & domestic abuse of all forms from "church folks" & people stay in these marriages because they tell the couples that God doesn't like divorce.
I'd encourage a couple to do both, assuming they go to church. I think both sides can offer good information and point out important things to address. But a licensed professional has to be part of it. And make sure they are have a good amount of experience counseling couples.
This is a "Red Flag". So now when the issues/problems arise, he won't want help solving them. That's prideful. Pride comes before a downfall. There's a plethora of scripture that states how God hates pride. There's also a plethora of scripture that speaks that there is wisdom in seeking good counsel. Only a fool will turn down counsel. All good kings in scripture had a group of counsel. Tell him that!
It's a good question, and just about all answers are right.
The key issue is, most folks aren't raised to have some sense these days, so they go in there and make nonsense.
If a man knew who he was from scratch, and what was expected of him; and a woman knows who she is from scratch, and what's expected of her; and most importantly if either/both know who they are in Christ and what their relationship towards Him should be... Then they'd all be fine.
Problem is, that's a lot of ifs.
You’re right Steve you better go
That's right Steve! Reality check! God knows that weaknesses show up before and after marriage. God doesn't come down and fix things, he wants us 'to get up' and use the wisdom he gives. So many Christians say "as long as we have God" and don't even know what they mean. We need to understand things like God doesn't build tables, but gives us the wood, he does not come down and start planting full grown trees but gives us seeds, water etc.
She is so beautiful end sweet! 🥰
Good advice
Maybe Steve should counsel them
Lol! Counsel them on what?
She has a great voice
Premarital counseling damn right they need it Faith first, God center but when disagreement God doesn't come up needed this counseling is cause little problems become big ones. Like he works late you can address it's the job, She is around attractive men her job yeah it's life not much can do. The couple one year apart must remember soul and love connection can never let die
I think I did alot of research before getting married so I knew everything in premarital counselling.
Yes, counseling is a proactive process, which is necessary but the counselor has to be the right and righteous one.
If you're able to do premarital counseling, please do it! Even if only one person agrees that they need it, it's a good foundation to have and the counseling will give you tools to start practicing, to help avoid issues that will be magnified once you're married.
Loved this
I’m all for it 👍🏻
I like her cute hair
She is gorgeous beautiful 😍 wow he is a very lucky man amen 🙏🌻💜♥️🥀
She's gorgous!!!!!!
Jehovah God is our best counselor, he created the first marriage. Apply bible principles in your marriage, like husbands love your wife as you would love yourself, he who loves himself will love his wife. Ephesians 5:28.
Jehovah the counselor also said there is wisdom in several counselors and strength in numbers. He instructs old ladies to teach young ladies how to love their husbands and kids. You need God and you need wiser humans to guide yr path.
@@f.-j.j.5738 true but not always.
@flower petal. Nope! Jeremiah 17:5 says it all.
He's correct God is the ONLY thing needed. God is a counselor
I think maybe if it hadn't been her parents suggestion that the boyfriend would have went for it if she brought it up to him. It's probably a good idea I suppose but it's most definitely not necessary or a must to have a good marriage. If you want a good marriage or a good relationship then both of you should give up social media to start off
God is pro counselling 😆😍
I understand about the man saying all we need is God in JESUS NAME. DRAW HIM EVER SO CLOSER TO YOU JESUS.. JESUS ALL IN ALL. SO JESUS IS ALL YOU NEED. THE LORD KNOWS WHO TO SEND YOU WHEN YOU ARE IN HIM. HE DON'T LEAVE YOU OUT THERE BY YOURSELF. TRUST THE LORD WILL PUT PEOPLE IN THERE LIFE THAT WILL GIVE THEM HIS COUSEL.
.
God wants you to put effort and rely on Him not just sit and wait for miracles
@@fatimahurayra9293 If you are in Christ Jesus and you read and study the word of God. You already know faith without works is dead. Why? Because the word of God say SO. JESUS KEPT NOTHING FROM HIS CHILDREN EXCEPT THE DAY OF HIS COMING. WHEN YOU TRULY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD THE CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND EARTH. YOU DONT SEEK COUSEL FROM THE WORLD. BECAUSE YOU KNOW FOR YOURSELF JESUS CHRIST THE HOPE OF GLORY IS THAT COUSEL. JESUS ALL IN ALL. JESUS IS ALL YOU NEED. NOW THATS THE WORD OF GOD. NOW JESUS TELLS HIS CHILDREN HE IS ALL IN ALL.
@Nattie bubbles The lord will not let one word I speak fall to the ground. I only speak my father in heaven word.
I feel like he may have been pressured into proposing to her. I knew someone who was pressured into marrying his girlfriend (who was pregnant with someone else's baby) and 10 years later they divorced because he never wanted to get married.
I've unfortunately seen a man feel pressured into marrying someone, too.
If I was dude I would marry her too? Cause Lawrd she's beautiful.
No man that prays every day is fake. counseling is always good before marriage but no matter how much counseling you get if you don't have God at the center of your marriage it will still fail.
At 25, no man or woman knows God or life well enough to be able to be successful without wise counsel... which is why the Word of God says in Proverbs, the Pauline Epistles, and James to seek older, more experienced Godly people for counsel when making important decisions. Marriage is the most important decision any two people will ever make, so, GOD HIMSELF, according to His Word, wants them to have a MULTITUDE, not just Him directly, but a MULTITUDE of wise, Godly counselors. Before and during, if you read the Scripture carefully... so... of course, Godly premarital counseling is the right thing for them to go get.
Ladies -- in life and in church as well -- ANY TIME a man wants to isolate you such that there is going to be no source of MALE ACCOUNTABILITY in his life and no source of FEMALE ACCOUNTABILITY in yours -- ANY TIME he says that you just need him and God, he is either IGNORANT of Scripture, LYING to you, or BOTH. He is CONTRADICTING the Word of God just as much as SATAN did when he spoke to Eve in the garden. It SOUNDS GOOD, and all spiritual, but the Word clearly says to seek counsel from other Godly people, and specifically the mature men and women in the faith are supposed to provide this to younger people CONSTANTLY. If you are with a man who aspires to any position of authority in your life who does not want to submit to this truth, GET OUT OF THERE. He is seeking the place of God to usurp it over you -- RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, for real!
age is just a number. Is just like saying at 25 no man or woman can own a home. Is only subjective. We are in a new world order and some 25 year olds are well mannered and matured than some 50 year olds. Is just a subjective statement from you
I doubt religion people who can't listen others have to say. What Bible did he read. For the I know, I believe you can find how in the book counseling is kinda recommended.
If you rely on god all the time for something like this you aren’t gonna get as far as you think
I think it's a combination of reliance on God and putting effort that makes success
Go. She seems like their relationship is good so why not
beautiful girl!
Anyone who's against counseling is a yellow flag... there is always a reason why people don't want to counseling. Growth comes from knowledge and experience and counseling helps make that happen with healthy boundaries
Shes beautiful
Where we can go for premarital counseling?
A pastor with who's a marriage officer maybe
Any time i hear phrases like all we need is God, a breakdown soon follows. The most high more practical than humans. We need Gods laws and principles to have successful relationships. We need knowledge, hard facts to avoid problems and work our way through when we fall.
she is pretty
I’m not doing premarital anything, I’m old, this advice is great if you’re 20 what if you’re 50 or 80 really want premarital counselling. You may not live long enough for half of things to come true.
Not! Another! Beard!
What’s the point in getting pre-marital Counselling if there are already sleeping together. “Let’s get advice from the lord while doing the very thing he says not to do”
Yass
Better figure out rt now that he should use the comment that the man is the head of the house xactly this many times.....zero .ZERO. Must go to counseling and learn how to lovingly negotiate disagreements and talk about feelings. All you need is God? What does that even mean You need older more mature counsel. Read Timothy.. we have been married forty yesrs,three kids,four grandkids. In church. In prayer. still got a loioong way to go. Wisest posture is complete humility!