Tim Dillon Show: THE Corporate Steakhouse Rant

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  • Опубліковано 29 лип 2024
  • Taken from episode 175- “Corporate Steakhouse”
    Tim goes on a passionate rant about why Corporate Steakhouses are the best (and last) great thing in America.
    Main Channel- / @timdillonshow
    Patreon: / thetimdillonshow
    Tim J Dillon -
    / timjdillon
    / timjdillon
    Ben Avery -
    / benaveryisgood
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 353

  • @larryhughes4058
    @larryhughes4058 3 роки тому +649

    I sit at the bar alone in a corporate steakhouse. I wear a blazer. I drink manhattans and eat white bean soup, strip steak medium rare, asparagus, a side of heirloom tomatoes. The bartender upsells me a side of mushrooms. She's beautiful and friendly and laughs at all my jokes. I wonder why someone so beautiful is in this shitty city and not an actress out in LA. I ask her if she wants to join me for a drink and she tells me she has a boyfriend. I go to someplace different next week. A new corporate steak house. Maybe I'll see you there.

    • @bigmeatswangin5837
      @bigmeatswangin5837 2 роки тому +43

      Underrated comment.

    • @larryhughes4058
      @larryhughes4058 2 роки тому +98

      @@bigmeatswangin5837 That's just life in the big city.

    • @LEXICON-DEVIL
      @LEXICON-DEVIL 2 роки тому +17

      Don't kill yourself Larry. There's more to life than steakhouses and women.

    • @DM-wo4ni
      @DM-wo4ni 2 роки тому +18

      That was beautiful

    • @Peadeymclovin
      @Peadeymclovin 2 роки тому +46

      @@LEXICON-DEVIL There may be more to life than steakhouses and women, but there isn't much more.

  • @samlichtensteinthemovie
    @samlichtensteinthemovie 4 роки тому +855

    This might be art at the highest level

  • @MrDenLDC
    @MrDenLDC 3 роки тому +195

    "The country is over. These temples of consumerism and slabs of beef are all we have left" 😂

  • @nobutsure
    @nobutsure 3 роки тому +628

    I've listened to this 14 times. One of the best rants, yes or yes?

    • @TheJDeuce
      @TheJDeuce 3 роки тому +3

      Yes, agreed

    • @BRose99
      @BRose99 3 роки тому +13

      NO, BUT SURE

    • @fedorfan19
      @fedorfan19 3 роки тому +2

      @@BRose99 I see what you did there 🤭🤣🤣

    • @joshualowellcook
      @joshualowellcook 3 роки тому +3

      Only second to the fake business clip

    • @fmac0417
      @fmac0417 3 роки тому +1

      It really is one of the greatest rants of all time. It belongs in a time capsule.

  • @publiusvelocitor4668
    @publiusvelocitor4668 3 роки тому +296

    If this is the only thing left of our civilization after 12,000 years, and aliens discover it and listen to it, they will understand everything they need to know about what was here, and who we were.

  • @dylanjanus
    @dylanjanus 3 роки тому +107

    "If people don't spend their lives trying to acquire things they fall into some type of weird, quasi-spiritual, genocidal mania."

  • @rewindsretro1328
    @rewindsretro1328 3 роки тому +49

    "It is not fresh, but it is hot as fuck!" Is the best part

  • @jorgemcconnie-saad9718
    @jorgemcconnie-saad9718 3 роки тому +294

    As a corporate steakhouse General Manager, I wholeheartedly approve of this.

  • @theempirestrikesback
    @theempirestrikesback 3 роки тому +200

    The most American thing I've ever heard, in the most beautiful way possible

    • @mr7wi
      @mr7wi 3 роки тому +3

      Most Canadian thing I have ever heard. Fat salt sugar and bread

    • @matthewdarcy6859
      @matthewdarcy6859 3 роки тому +12

      Especially the part where he attacks Marxism

  • @francisteardrop
    @francisteardrop 3 роки тому +57

    “This is the way my father loves me”

  • @jh1828
    @jh1828 4 роки тому +203

    This popped up in my feed. New fan. There’s something about getting yelled at about funny and agreeable stuff that really crusts my steak

  • @clarkkent2725
    @clarkkent2725 3 роки тому +52

    “Demons from hell eating ribeyes.” 😂

  • @BoyGeorgestrait
    @BoyGeorgestrait 3 роки тому +78

    I went to a corporate steakhouse for my birthday last night. I played this rant at the table while stuffing my face. I love you TD

  • @evankelly4346
    @evankelly4346 3 роки тому +75

    Here after Texas Roadhouse founder and CEO, Kent Taylor's death, to pay my respects.

  • @Apol-los
    @Apol-los 3 роки тому +68

    “People sitting around a table looking to swindle”

  • @asopher
    @asopher 4 роки тому +136

    This is GOLD. I feel lucky as a human for getting to experience this.

  • @512adms7
    @512adms7 3 роки тому +70

    Tim Dillon sounds like a radio DJ from the GTA universe

    • @L_Qu
      @L_Qu 3 роки тому +6

      If only 🥰

    • @tech1238
      @tech1238 3 роки тому +8

      I don’t use social media but i wish someone would contact Rockstar with this ❤️

  • @thekockboy
    @thekockboy 3 роки тому +25

    “I won’t go back to the hotel and blow my brains out tonight Because you said thanks for coming Tim”

  • @tangentmaster1267
    @tangentmaster1267 2 роки тому +39

    Tim Dillon is the most important comedian in the world right now.

  • @outlando
    @outlando 3 роки тому +66

    For the love of God, can someone please make an animation to go with this!!??

  • @Labran861262
    @Labran861262 3 роки тому +104

    The only magic left in this country is UA-cam’s algorithm for suggesting this video the day after I watched the Vlog with the “Steakhouse rant” reference

    • @JRLB38
      @JRLB38 3 роки тому +1

      Same

    • @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026
      @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026 3 роки тому +1

      @ For some reason, I REALLY want to know what they said to him and why that dude on the left seemed so keen on telling them not to film it lol
      I can only imagine...

    • @jasonablah7702
      @jasonablah7702 3 роки тому

      @@amphibeingmcshpongletron5026 Because being randomly filmed by a stranger is creepy and weird

    • @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026
      @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026 3 роки тому

      @@jasonablah7702 I get that. Looks like they were already filming though.

  • @resinapparelco433
    @resinapparelco433 3 роки тому +29

    I’m sitting here crying laughing. The part where he says he’s going to the corporate steakhouse with his father I died

  • @dominicjamescunneen1740
    @dominicjamescunneen1740 3 роки тому +48

    i cannot stop listening to this. up there with the old bill burr rants i used to love of his from 6-7 years ago

  • @RobKaiser_SQuest
    @RobKaiser_SQuest 2 роки тому +11

    "Ragu, wagyu, whatever the fuck it's called, it's all fake, there are seven restaurants that serve it but you all buy it" lmfao

  • @BinaryPrime
    @BinaryPrime 2 роки тому +28

    This makes me want to go to a steakhouse with Tim. I bet it'd be a great time.

  • @carter9449
    @carter9449 3 роки тому +235

    Who else is here after seeing him called "the steakhouse guy"?

    • @slim710.
      @slim710. 3 роки тому +14

      You are NOT alone🙏

    • @gruntsrule1
      @gruntsrule1 3 роки тому +13

      I had to pause to find this video

    • @susie7336
      @susie7336 3 роки тому +12

      This just popped up on my feed after watching the blog this morning.
      I was curious.
      What a gift!

    • @Aeronjt
      @Aeronjt 3 роки тому +2

      Hahahahahah 🖐🏾

    • @whitelightsheddinweedsmokin
      @whitelightsheddinweedsmokin 3 роки тому +1

      😶‍🌫️

  • @nickjklol
    @nickjklol Рік тому +9

    One of the greatest monologues in the history of humankind. It really captures who we are as a species.

  • @duvandiaz9387
    @duvandiaz9387 9 місяців тому +6

    I revisit this rant often

  • @anthonyjpatti
    @anthonyjpatti 3 роки тому +40

    Get. The. Creamed. Spinach.

  • @MCGaar
    @MCGaar 3 роки тому +35

    So darkly articulate and perfect 😂

  • @jacobsaintjames
    @jacobsaintjames 3 роки тому +29

    Next time you're in Canada, take your corporate safari to The Keg. Despicable and great food!

  • @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026
    @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026 3 роки тому +32

    Everyday I grow more and more thankful for Tim Dillon. He's truly one of the best in the game right now for comedy and podcasts. I think he's only second to Bill Burr in his notorious ranting ability but feel he brings a unique proprietary flair to it that's in a league of its own. I think 2021 will be a good year for Tim.

    • @guynoir5968
      @guynoir5968 Рік тому +3

      Timbo is second to no one. The riff grand master

  • @kmuck8677
    @kmuck8677 3 роки тому +20

    "Is this the steakhouse guy?"

  • @Sayper1
    @Sayper1 3 роки тому +10

    Do you want crab on your steak? No! But sure!

  • @TremayneDouglas
    @TremayneDouglas 4 роки тому +23

    Affirmative information Timothy. I have texted Bernard to tell our personal assistant's who will advise each of our secretaries to book the reservations for 7pm. Regards, Tremayne Douglas - CEO

  • @ItsterrenceLa
    @ItsterrenceLa 2 роки тому +8

    My annual listen. Still perfect.

  • @williamroccajr.9208
    @williamroccajr.9208 2 роки тому +10

    Timmy doing his best to save good, old-fashioned American Imperial culture, as Bret Easton Ellis would lament.
    Brings a tear to the eye-- paraphrase "it's like I was coming in at the tail end of somethin'"

  • @mattyrat4958
    @mattyrat4958 4 роки тому +40

    This genre of comedy needs to happen

    • @L_Qu
      @L_Qu 3 роки тому +2

      So glad I’m alive for it

  • @hundredeyes8917
    @hundredeyes8917 3 роки тому +22

    Someone please get him a food critic gig.

    • @himynameiscorey
      @himynameiscorey 3 роки тому +7

      Hahaha imagine this guy on the travel channel

    • @rktsnail
      @rktsnail 3 роки тому +3

      @@himynameiscorey would be so ruthless.

  • @pbyrnetz
    @pbyrnetz 9 місяців тому +4

    I want to hear this for the first time again

  • @knowhere1000
    @knowhere1000 4 роки тому +21

    Hovering right above misery

  • @Shieed
    @Shieed 3 роки тому +9

    This should be a GTA radio station

  • @Hansahola
    @Hansahola 3 роки тому +3

    This is so underrated.. best Tim rant yet 😂

  • @SpaceTimeTurtle
    @SpaceTimeTurtle 3 роки тому +17

    As a single guy, somewhat of a loner,
    It's getting harder to eat a char grilled steak by myself.
    No... don't seat me next to a family table, just find me a dark corner out of sight.
    I ain't here to make friends, just eat in peace!!

  • @WillOnYT
    @WillOnYT 3 роки тому +11

    I’m listening to this before going to Perry’s Steakhouse. Thank you Tim

  • @EmpireofCheese
    @EmpireofCheese Рік тому +2

    Something about the delivery of “we do not sleep well that night!” is just sublime

  • @henrypaul9374
    @henrypaul9374 3 місяці тому +1

    I listen to this every time I eat steak and it gets better each time.

  • @kevinc.5073
    @kevinc.5073 2 роки тому +3

    Just got home from capital grille. So accurate and funny

  • @ToneWoN
    @ToneWoN 3 роки тому +1

    Still banging this everywhere I go .

  • @b0ssbeerreviews83
    @b0ssbeerreviews83 3 роки тому +6

    Been to one business meeting in my life. It was a corporate steakhouse. One of my favorite meals. Businessmen flexing nuts about who can order the most expensive shit. ‘Order the filet and tuna, it’s going on the corporate account’

  • @paulfroelich1024
    @paulfroelich1024 Рік тому +3

    Tonight I'm going to a Corporate Steakhouse. This is my hype music.

  • @kenw8875
    @kenw8875 2 роки тому +4

    “I want a menu to be designed in a Boardroom, by Suits! “ - Tim Dillon, 1st Earthling Politico Officer to set foot on Mars (2030). 🚀

  • @floresdta
    @floresdta 3 роки тому +46

    The jordan peterson quote just earned him a spot on my top 3

  • @JohnLandTaylor
    @JohnLandTaylor 3 роки тому +8

    Steak and Ale was the darkest of these restaurants. I miss it.

  • @lacomic3820
    @lacomic3820 3 роки тому +5

    I like listening to this while eating by myself at ocean prime like I am currently

  • @coloradomotion1836
    @coloradomotion1836 Місяць тому

    I listen to this back to back.

  • @user-oc6xd4ee5l
    @user-oc6xd4ee5l 3 роки тому +3

    "I don't even know what that is but yes, why? Because I have nothing left in my life"

  • @msannthrope_2049
    @msannthrope_2049 Рік тому +4

    I don't care for Tim's stand up comedy. But as a podcaster, commenter on society/ current events- he is unparalleled. His observations are fantastic.

  • @yomismosoyelregalo2266
    @yomismosoyelregalo2266 3 роки тому +8

    Why doesn’t this have a million views?

  • @sgillespie964
    @sgillespie964 3 роки тому +2

    This needs to be on posters like the train spotting speech

  • @awakenthewoke1091
    @awakenthewoke1091 Рік тому

    This is amazing!!!

  • @proddreamatnight
    @proddreamatnight Рік тому +2

    We're never getting something like this on the show again are we...

  • @kurtmiller1689
    @kurtmiller1689 3 роки тому +7

    How does this only have 19k views?

  • @francescomandara3351
    @francescomandara3351 3 роки тому +1

    I’ve listened to this 100 times

  • @FITforaKING777
    @FITforaKING777 10 місяців тому

    This is my favorite rant of all time. 2nd is Adam Corolla talking about building a garage in the LA Hills

  • @greenphantomog
    @greenphantomog 4 місяці тому +1

    Tim Dillon to me in a nutshell: “you’re allowed to make money doing this?”

  • @nickballou5753
    @nickballou5753 3 роки тому +9

    This is the America i want to live in. Tim Dillon 2020!

  • @LJY08
    @LJY08 Рік тому

    Such an inspired rant Tim...truly inspired 😆😆😆

  • @BigDH28
    @BigDH28 3 роки тому +2

    And this my friends.... is why I love this man! He pulls no punches! 👌👍✊🤣😂

  • @aaronwest1055
    @aaronwest1055 3 роки тому +9

    His comedy is so fucking insightful

  • @gmmclassicepisodecertifier1438
    @gmmclassicepisodecertifier1438 2 роки тому +2

    The beginning was very Alex-Jones-esque. I love it lmfao, tremendous entertainment.
    Tim is the hero we need and deserve.

  • @Eternal1811
    @Eternal1811 Рік тому

    Why is this my favorite clip everrrrrr lmaooooooooooo. I’ve seen it over 25x minimum

  • @tdashkevich
    @tdashkevich 3 роки тому +7

    I’ve been here before but had to come back after those two Florida guys.

  • @jasonablah7702
    @jasonablah7702 3 роки тому +6

    Had to search for this after those fake business boomers called him the 'steakhouse guy'.

  • @juiceloose100
    @juiceloose100 3 роки тому +1

    I feel like this would be good with really dramatic music behind it haha.

  • @BRose99
    @BRose99 3 роки тому +4

    Jesus Christ this is fantastic.

  • @DavidLLambertmobile
    @DavidLLambertmobile 4 роки тому +12

    Sit in the dark corner! ...

  • @skizoid1
    @skizoid1 3 роки тому +1

    Goddamnit this is fucking amazing. Seriously. The best I’ve heard. Christ.

  • @otisrue165
    @otisrue165 3 роки тому +56

    "Unfulfilling vocation." Freudian slip there. We all know that Tim isn't getting fulfillment out of this whole comedy thing. Everything he does is entirely for our benefit and not his own. He's just helping us out, but he needs fulfillment and appreciation. He needs more money. Give this man money. Treat him to a corporate steakhouse dinner. Do something for him.

    • @Mannydamon
      @Mannydamon 3 роки тому +8

      Beautiful! It captures the essence of a crying clown.

    • @isaiahhha7560
      @isaiahhha7560 3 роки тому +3

      @@Mannydamon who ever heard...of a sad clown :•(

    • @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026
      @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026 3 роки тому +7

      He's so smart it probably hurts doing comedy. It's why he's so good though. He really could be some high level salesperson if he wanted. I bet if it wasn't for drugs and alcohol he'd be really successful in that world. But then we wouldn't have him as a personality in comedy. I'd selfishly and gladly sacrifice his own self fulfillment and economic potential for the joy he brings me as a funnyman. For real though this better become more worth it for him soon. Thing is he's far too good for the mainstream and knows it.

    • @taharris93
      @taharris93 3 роки тому +2

      Tim has said the his ultimate destination is selling subprime mortgages back in Long Island

    • @Sweetskis
      @Sweetskis 2 роки тому +1

      @@taharris93 Yes. He will eventually return to Long Island and sell some sort of morally dubious financial services.

  • @jaynerobyn
    @jaynerobyn 3 роки тому +6

    This is evergreen.

  • @zww1019
    @zww1019 3 роки тому +1

    This felt like Tim Dylan reading a Richard Brautigan short story

  • @babyfacebowers01
    @babyfacebowers01 3 роки тому +4

    3:50 60 seconds of absolute gold

  • @kauaihawaii5836
    @kauaihawaii5836 3 роки тому +3

    Tim is HILARIOUS!!

  • @MrMrjchips
    @MrMrjchips Рік тому +2

    Do you want crab on your steak?
    No, but sure

  • @dennisrozman6362
    @dennisrozman6362 3 роки тому +6

    We better listen to this now before Tim starts selling this as NFT!!!

  • @johnmiller5679
    @johnmiller5679 2 роки тому +2

    I sent this to my father. He loves these places and is they dude at the bar drinking alone. Even the good Italian restaurants in NYC are gone and replaced with corporate soulless crap. That’s just the way it is so might

  • @RRRRobbbb
    @RRRRobbbb 3 роки тому +4

    I want it to be an unfulfilling vocation though. Not a vacation.

  • @L_Qu
    @L_Qu 3 роки тому +2

    Tim never asks a question he doesn’t already know the answer to

  • @alessandrocanalicchio2739
    @alessandrocanalicchio2739 4 місяці тому +1

    I listen to this on my birthday

  • @JOEBOWERY
    @JOEBOWERY 26 днів тому

    One of Tim’s all time best

  • @fedorfan19
    @fedorfan19 3 роки тому +12

    He forgot about Palm steakhouse which I may say is a legit steakhouse among the best

    • @courtneyreeves8905
      @courtneyreeves8905 3 роки тому +2

      showed this to my father and he said the same thing.

    • @nedrobinson7490
      @nedrobinson7490 Рік тому

      Agreed. Palm is by FAR the best corporate steakhouse chain.

  • @dannyboy101010
    @dannyboy101010 3 роки тому +7

    Dibs on this NFT. Dibs.

    • @Ekdrink
      @Ekdrink 3 роки тому +1

      Nfts are for fucking morons

  • @larurentius
    @larurentius 2 роки тому +2

    When I heard Sean Lock had died I went to a chain steakhouse by myself and had a new york strip with an old fashioned

  • @factoverfiction4699
    @factoverfiction4699 3 роки тому +4

    A1 rant.

  • @matthewdarcy6859
    @matthewdarcy6859 3 роки тому +6

    Arguably his finest moment....so far

  • @61butthatsaveragehere87
    @61butthatsaveragehere87 4 роки тому +30

    Listen to this at 0.75 speed

    • @asopher
      @asopher 4 роки тому +9

      Blasphemy. Must be listened to in its purest form.

    • @alexmickee6799
      @alexmickee6799 4 роки тому +8

      better yet..don't.

    • @DJBritt
      @DJBritt 3 роки тому

      Thank you 🤣

    • @himynameiscorey
      @himynameiscorey 3 роки тому +5

      Take psychedelics smoke a bunch of weed and listen to this at 1.5x. Trust. Me.

    • @andym28
      @andym28 3 роки тому +1

      1.25

  • @nobutsure
    @nobutsure 4 роки тому +28

    And ps one of the funniest rants ever said

  • @susie7336
    @susie7336 3 роки тому +4

    CRUST IT WITH NINE THINGS!!

  • @sebastianlightcap2764
    @sebastianlightcap2764 Рік тому +3

    I'm so glad that we have the second coming of George Carlin accessible to us right here on UA-cam

  • @wzrd99
    @wzrd99 3 роки тому +1

    This is already part of history.