As an LGBT person, I was genuinely so fucking angry when Mercury got exposed. Every single fucking time this stuff comes out, the treatment of the rest of us gets ten times worse. I feel angry and betrayed, which sounds so silly bc I know it's parasocial and I don't *know* her, but she was a comfort creator for me for being just so positive and well-liked, without the full focus on LGBT issues. It was just comfort food. Now she's a creep too.
I’m not a trans person, but I also feel angry for you all. It’s like every fucking time something like this happens everyone’s mind goes 50 years back and the hate is absolutely unreal. I’m sorry and will continue fighting
0:46 it needs to be talked about more that when a brain develops and you are presenting as a male to society. You are conditioned to be OK with objectifying and abusing women. Nobody was going to check mercury for what she did to that 15-year-old. Because everyone around them was normalizing it. That’s something in our society that people don’t talk about. So sure your identity can be valid, but she is a deeply flawed person for whatever development she had that made her think it was OK to take advantage of a child. Then to downplay it is absolutely disgusting.
No I feel angry, betrayed, devastated… it’s a little parasocial but it’s also just the blowback and the constant reminder that no one is trustworthy. It’s exhausting
As a trans man, this pisses me off so much. I work at a Chuck E. Cheese and have to fight for my ability to work around kids and not be seen as a child toucher, then shitheads like this happens. Someone who taught me how to do shit that my dad refused to when he disowned me, who I thought could be trusted, turns around and betrays everyone.
If it helps, being 19 dating a 15 year old is barely a pedo. Not excusing the behavior if the victims feels like she was victimized. But it seems more like a poor choice than àn attraction thing. They could've been in high school together or some club or lived in the same neighborhood.
It’s for people to challenge their own biases and not judge people as a group. You can’t control another persons actions so you should not be punished for them. Of course this is upsetting
Yeah, I remember Shane Dawson saying something kind of similar about how his old (racist, child exploiting, inappropriately harassing animals) content was for traumatized kids, and teaching them valueable things. Saying that it's "Like an afterschool special, but with dick jokes." As if he was propping himself up next to good, empathetic role models to get the recognition and credibility but also trying to seem "cooler" and more relatable to prey on people easier. It's such a weird and emotionally manipulative thing people like this do for validation, tbh.
heres everyone's reminder that the persona someone puts out online should never be taken at face value as their true authentic self. not that you cant trust creators, i just think people get way too close and comfortable with people they like online and then have their trust betrayed, its been happening so much in the past half decade
Like seriously the parasocial relationships are WILD out here like "sobbing" why?? A person you like the content of is a bad person? Like, would you say that about someone you actually know? "Toby is a predator." *NOOO SOBBING 😭😭😭* Like bffr
no genuinely. same thing with the cody ko thing a few months back where people were going insane; they made it more about themselves and how they couldnt go on without watching him like do you hear yourself??? its weird and kinda pathetic lmao its fine to be sad about a creator but people need to read the room
54:00 RE; the 15 y/o coming out saying they were traumatized. As we saw with Cody Ko, even Tana says she doesn’t feel traumatized by the events and at the time she was really excited about it. It took looking back now to realize how bad it was, but again she still doesn’t hold trauma. I don’t think that takes away from how bad the actions were, and that’s true in this situation as well. Mercury may not have had the same platform Cody did at the time, but she was still in a position of power over this girl. I am speaking only in context, not to misgender, but to the young girl, mercury was a “cool college guy” who had a lot more experience and freedom than her as almost likely a sophomore in HS. It’s unfortunately not an uncommon experience for young girls to go through. Mercury could probably drive, had a job, had some money, independence- that’s very attractive to a teenage girl.
Did I misunderstand? The 15 y/o hasn’t come out yet. The person in the video is one that is blaming her for ghosting her and being a cult leader (without proof)
@@KatherineAcosta20 no, you’re right. But he was making a point that it’s not “that bad” because the 15 year old hasn’t come out and it’s possible they aren’t traumatized. I’m saying it’s just as bad regardless. You can click on the timestamp I included to see what I’m referring to.
Exactly. My step daughter's mom was allowing her, at 12, to date a 16 year old. They dated for almost 4 years. When she and I spoke about it later, she said she genuinely didn't know it was wrong until she was older and by then, she felt like she had to make it work to prove everyone wrong. I think sometimes we, as adults, forget that kids have different levels of maturity. Obviously a 16 and a 12 year old or a 19 and a 15 year old together isn't okay but it also doesn't mean that it's this blatantly obvious abusive relationship. It makes me wonder if more people aren't coming out about their experiences because they'd be judged if they didn't feel traumatized. Society has very rigid standards on how they expect people to feel, especially these days.
As an ex heroin addict the hardest thing I needed to face was that forgiveness is not guaranteed, and even if I got better, it doesn’t mean people aren’t hurt about the past. They (mercury) act like a beacon of mental health and stability, but I truly don’t know if they understand what that actually means. Rather they just present themselves as a good person to convince everyone they are. A good person doesn’t need to convince anyone anything. They just are.
Also to preface I never did anything close to this bad, there’s no redemption from what mercury did. Just stating some things that I find gross about how they talk about it all
Congratulations on your recovery ❤❤ i have i think just gone 8 or 9 yrs 😂😂 had some awful family stuff happening so being so busy my yrs have blended,cant believe its gonna be 2025 soo and my grandson will be 4!😂 But well done
That's why it's really important to remember the person isn't the persona they put online that's just the parts of themselves they think best for the public eye
yeah well there's an agenda and most people like you rufuse to believe people who say theres a problem, you also attack anyone who stands up against it while denouncing it as fake news and sexisim and transphobia. and in turn you become someone who defends predators.
@@docc0k190 yeah, I've learned that lesson really hard this year... I just found her so comforting because she was ablate teach me things to make life easier.
The amount of which they talk about sex and making out and all that feels very much like those weird cosplay groups full of teenagers who makeout with each other and feel the need to tell EVERYONE so they can show just how desirable and ‘sexy’ they are. It’s weird
@@Necrophyllis.Look at it this way: Being out of school and at an age where you can hold a stable job, drive and live independently legally without need for parental consent etc is a far cry from being with someone who’s still in school with so much growing to do and so much they’ll be going through. No you’re both still very immature but there’s still one who has far more life experience and can really muddy the water when it comes to fair treatment because 15 and 19 are still at VERY different points in their lives. I was a massive fan of Mercury, so anything like this is difficult but at the same time I see why that age gap is an issue.
As a full time burlesque performer, I really appreciate how you explained the context of a burlesque show and didn’t pass judgement. All burlesque shows are different, but it is important to understand the context in this case. To be clear, I’m not condoning anything MS has done. I don’t know them and just learning about this. But, I genuinely appreciate the video.
Yes! I really appreciate him for this, not only around burlesque, but also around other topics people tend to judge. He tends to have an open mind, and is very objective about it.
agreed. we don’t need to take something out of context (ie sexual references in burlesque) to take these allegations seriously. in real life i would be grossed out by a college freshman dating a high school sophomore who can’t even drive yet- same applies to mercury.
I will say, as someone who was in an age gap relationship, I was the minor, it doesn't really hit till later that it was wrong. I look back now, at the age he was, and think how disgusting that was and how awful it would be to do to someone.
I know someone I grew in a sport with and years later, she was like 18/19 and in college in a state and city she didn’t really know and our old coach happened to live there at the time as well. Naturally she spent time with him and his kids at the sport venue he worked at since he was one of few ppl she knew and her whole family knew him. A few years later on social media it definitely seemed like they spent a lot of time together and eventually were living together and years after that they were engaged. I was so unsettled cause this grown man knew her when she was 9 till she was maybe 15. To preface everyone knew he tended to date younger women but never suspected he would date someone he knew as a child. It was disturbing and now that she’s out of that relationship I hope she’s doing alright cause I imagine she’ll become uneasy with the realization as she gets older. He was her first serious adult relationship.
I completely agree. I still get grossed out when I think of my first boyfriend. He knew me when I was 17 and we started dating when I turned 18. He was 32
This one hits really hard, she was a comfort creator for so many people, including me. I hope everyone around her is safe. Another reminder to never trust someone you don’t really know, unfortunately. Makes it so hard to build real community :(
Isn't the person a man?? I am certain having people refer to him as "she" allowed him to gain the trust and get into places where a random adult male would not have so easily been trusted.
@@st-nw7tm she is a trans woman. And no, from what I’ve heard all of this happened before she transitioned, which was later in life. The trope of people transitioning specifically to prey on women is transphobic and doesn’t actually happen.
@@Hannahgs there are plenty of stories of men who are predators using the fact that a random woman is more trusted than a random man in order to get close to others. For ex. the Mr Beast man Kris who is one of hundreds of men who have done something similar. These men and those who call them 'she' are doing a disservice to the LGB community.
I was noticing that too, he must have a good hair care routine. Dankyjabo, drop the hair care routine we want to know ❤️❤️ looks very healthy and defined curls, absolutely stunning. if I know what you use I’ll get my curly little sister some ❤️❤️
Calling oneself a survivor or saying one survived something doesn't always have to pertain to having one's life threatened/on the line. Someone could be abused emotionally, where their physical health wasn't threatened at all, and still say they're a survivor - because they survivied that abuse.
It's a pattern of behavior. Hyper sexualized stories and jokes. Some people who engage in predatory behavior position themselves in environments where they can hide better
@@berrriesncreme4558 nope, but that's exactly my point and the problem, if you spread truth but inject a lie even if its only because of his lack or research or ignorance on a subject it discredits everything. if you have a truther channel and you do it lazily and spread BS and people think its the truth, well that's dangerous and ignorant and stupid so. fix up , he wants to do a channel like this make sure you aren't ACCUSING or FALSELY ASSUMING in regards to a topic or PURELY IGNORANT because of a Lack or Research..
I’d just like to take a moment and thank you for not misgendering people, no matter how horrible they are. Their gender is not the primary issue here, and I’m so glad you recognize that. When Ava Kris Tyson was outed as a pedophile, a lot of videos would misgender her and were overall transphobic so I was missing out and I would support her without actually watching the videos bc I thought it was just transphobia (my little cousin watched mister beast and his dad is a right wing homophobe that hates “wokeness” and tries to influence him, so I’d use Ava as an example that “trans people aren’t really that different”) I’m so grateful that you actually properly label people as they desire and actually only focus on the shitty things they’ve done so people can be properly informed without the stigma. Thank you, I enjoy your content so much. Keep going 🫶
Literally followed him for his lily tino video since everyone else was just being vitriolic against the concept of Trans people and he just stated facts
Fr the basic human respect is important. So many people seem to be OK with purposely misgendering a Trans person when they do something wrong but they wouldn't misgender a cis person on purpose for doing the same action.
@hedgie_doll2314 That's because people aren't too convinced that they're being completely honest about being trans. But I definitely wouldn't bring basic human respect into it, when they can't do that themselves
@@LordPoppy don’t start, please. If someone cant give basic human respect, be the better person. Don’t go for a low blow, especially when it comes to gender, weight, race and stuff because not all trans people are bad. We can all agree predators are bad, yeah? Then let’s focus on that. Be the better person.
So, I’m about to type out what will probably be some very unpopular thoughts, and I want to make it clear that I am neither trying to condone nor excuse Mercury’s admitted relationship with a 15 y/o when she was 19. With that in mind, I do think there are a couple of points worthy to bring into the conversation. The first is lack of information we have around the situation. You mentioned, of course, that we’ve not heard from the victim (which would not exonerate her regardless), But I we also don’t have much, if any, information about the people she surrounded herself with or her mental state at the time. While the possibility of feeling social pressure and mental distress doesn’t make her actions any less abhorrent, we can’t discount that those factors might have contributed to her decisions. The second point I’d like to mention is that, though 19 years makes you an adult, legally, the frontal lobe doesn’t finish fully developing until mid-20s. And while we should hold young adults responsible for their actions, we should also remember that they still have a lot of growing up to do. It is possible that, as she grew up, learned, and got out of bad social environments, that she realized the horror of her past actions, and is completely sickened by them, now. All this is to say that, IF this was an isolated incident and Mercury truly has changed, I don’t necessarily believe she needs to leave the internet, entirely. I think it’s important to, generally, offer people the benefit of the doubt and an opportunity to grow. If Mercury has improved herself, truly regrets her past actions, and made a change for the better, I think it could be beneficial to the internet to see that it is possible. Again, I’d like to reiterate that this is not a defense of Mercury’s past actions. I simply thought it was important to consider some of the possible nuances of the situation, as the internet doesn’t always do very well with that. And these nuances are entirely dependent on Mercury’s sincere acknowledgment and reproach of her past actions, and genuine efforts to do better.
Thank you for making this comment. I was thinking the same and you expressed it very well for me. Also, when I was 14 my boyfriend was 18. I don't think of him as a predator. I thought it was cool to be dating a senior. But it was the 80's and things were different then.
@@Maria-zz3fwyeah my stepmom in the 80s was 17 dating a 25 year old & they got married & eventually divorced. He trashed her credit & stole from her. Several women got pregnant during the marriage and none of them were her so I think it’s probably for the best that adults date adults at this point in time. Lasting consequences
I disagree with this law, for the reasons that the age gap is too much for developing people, 15 and 19 would be legal in my country. It would be legal in many other places that have these "flexible" laws that aims to protect children while also enabling them to have relationships with one another. Again, I do not think 15 and 19 is acceptable, but it also doesn't make the person automatically a predator either. Were she in my country, she wouldn't ever be held against the law. I think it's perfectly fair and likely just that people are upset, however given her age I would argue that if something hasn't happened again, then it's likely to be a weird situation that she dares not repeat again (which is good).
Agreed, especially if it’s true that it only went as far as kissing. I’ve been a victim of SA in the past. I’ve also had relationships with older teenagers when I was a teenager. When I was 15 I was with a 19 year old. It did go farther than kissing. Now looking back, I definitely do think it was kinda weird and a little creepy. HOWEVER, I definitely do not feel victimized by that. I’ve experienced SA, and that wasn’t it. We met each other at school, a 4 year age gap between teens mean they could’ve met in school. I’m not saying it’s okay, it’s definitely not. The “adult” definitely shouldn’t be getting with teens that much younger. I also think it’s worth noting that she was only 19 at the time, that’s also very young. But a 19 year old kissing a 15 year old really is not that big of a deal IMO, especially if it was just kissing. I think it’s kinda odd that it’s this big of a deal. Do I think it’s weird and creepy? Yes. But she was a 19 year old. Was it a mistake? Yeah she shouldn’t have done it. But is a 19 year old kissing a 15 year old abuse? I definitely don’t think so. Obviously I cannot speak for the 15 year old she kissed when she was 19. But I can speak for myself. If the guy I was with (when we had the same age gap) was getting so much hate for what we did we when we’re both teens, I would find it overkill. Yeah it was kinda creepy, but should his career be ruined for it? Absolutely not.
Saying that you can't call yourself a survivor of abuse when it's not 'life threatening' is an incredibly wild statement to me. Even if the twins' accusations aren't credible due to the lack of evidence provided, saying that you aren't a 'survivor' of abuse when nothing ever threatened your life to a wide audience is incredibly problematic to me and discredits the struggles and healing of people whose abuse hasn't escalated to a point of life or death harm. And whose to say something that isn't physically abusive in that way isn't life threatening? So many people struggle with suicidal thoughts after their abuse. Please think harder on your arguments and wording before you uncritically broadcast them online.
THEY HIT THE PENTAGON This does genuinely make me sad, especially because it’s a trans woman I looked up to for a while due to her fundraising for trans kids.
A kid kissed a kid. Oh no! 15 & 19? This is a perfect example of Malum Prohibitum, as opposed to Malum In Se. (Bad because it's illegal, as opposed to bad because it's bad)
@jeffzeiler346 right? Like yes it's not ideal, and is a little weird, but it doesn't make her a predator. Especially since that was what, 30 years ago? Like we've all done stupid shit as teenagers. And 4 years is not a substantial age gap. 🙄
@@jeffzeiler346 no, a 15 and 19 year old is definitely wrong. They are on completely different stages of development, one is an adult, the other one is a young highschooler. Completely different levels of maturity
(Og post was made before I watched the video in full since it’d only been out for half an hour btw) Still, 15 and 19 is a more significant age gap than say, 30 and 34, because 15 and 19 year old kids are at different stages of development. Being a 19 yr old kissing a 15 yr old doesn’t make you an unforgivable pedo, but it’s still odd and one should know better than to kiss a younger high schooler while they’re college aged. 🤷♂
@@jackiefox_143 Tunnel vision fomo. Yes, fomo. They'll call it temptation but it's basically fear of missing out. They don't see the child as their own person, but as an unlived sexual experience.
I understand and respect what you're saying, but only agree somewhat. No, silence is certainly not consent, but if you are actively making out with someone, you will have your hands on them somewhere. Usually, as hands travel around, the other person will tell you or insinuate to you where it is or is not ok to put them. You're not gonna be kissing them with your hands in the air, asking part by part where you can touch. If I'm not comfortable with below-the-waist touching, I will scoot back, move the hand away, and/or verbally stop them. Any combination should work, and if it doesn't, gtfo. But I'm not asking out loud for permission, nor do I want to be asked for every body part. I'd say nonverbal communication has worked for me 95% of the time. And that other 5% was with people who wouldn't have listened no matter what was expressed or how. But if verbal consent to that degree is your thing, and you like it and express that need right away, then good on you - to each, their own; and I hope you find good partners who respect you.
@tubblebub thanks for such a civil reply, I appreciate it! I hear you! To me they way they talked about it sounded like they made out with the girl only to "cop a feel", it sounded like that was the goal, objectifying her body talking about her as the girl with the ass, (but then again I wasn't there). Nonverbal communication is super important! It's just too many folks who immediately assume that just because X was Ok that automatically means Y is too. I don't know how that girl felt, maybe she was fine with it (again, I wasn't there), I just wish more people would pull the breaks juuust a little bit and make sure the person is okay with it before as to not overstep boundaries. Sometimes nonverbal queues aren't clear to some and there's no negative to making the habit of being extra sure. Again, thank you. Hope you have a good day!
13:47 I will say, this apology style is very commonly used by recovering alcoholics/folks using a 12 step program. It sounds like very typical amends talk.
@@eyetukafatshet6246 absolutely. In AA, step 8 and 9 are about making amends. Step 8 is making a list of all the people you have harmed while using. Step 9 is about making those amends; the verbiage in the “big book”, or the text that is followed in AA, says to make direct amends, which could be interpreted as sitting down with the individuals wronged to do so. 12 step programs exists for lots of forms of addiction, my personal experiences just come from the world of AA so that’s why I’m referencing it specifically. But that’s my interpretation of what she was saying.
I came here to say this, one of the examples they gave was being rude to their ex at a party. I had a brother who went through the program and when I was 13 he came and apologized for the ways his addiction affected my childhood. If you think of the “wrongs” as just that, when we put ourselves (or an addiction) first and it hurts someone else, how often are we selfish? Makes more sense the number is so high.
Seriously! He manages to take a reasonable middle road without fence sitting, which is so important. I have a lot of respect to his openness to criticism, too.
If you like the way he thinks and convey things from both sides, but still usually stands in the middle of things, I think you would like Salem Tovar. She is the same, very objective, but still having that logical empathy in all situations, the same as dankyjabo.
As a “worker”, at 26, I’m still advertised as 19 because it actually IS a thing. Every girl in my industry here is aged down AS MUCH as possible as to what they can pass as, because that’s what men want.. I so often get asked “So when did you turn 19?””Did you just turn 19””did you start at 18?””you’re so young” and similar….. because it really is such a big thing behind closed doors for men. That’s the reality for what is considered one of the most peaceful countries in the world, where this is legal, it is backed by laws and supported by the government during things like c*vid etc… I can’t imagine what the reality is like for other places in the world that aren’t considered like mine, like America, Europe, etc.. it would be worse. And while we like to hope this isn’t reality, after over 4000 clients, I can tell you, it is.
I assume Casey is using "survive" in the sense that she just went through and got away from abuse in general, that's usually how "survivor" gets used in abuse discourse. As someone who's been through childhood abuse, domestic violence and now works with DV victims as a caseworker: I get people opt for "survivor" instead of "victim" as it's more empowering but...ngl it often comes across as a trite buzzword akin to "girlboss", imo. Like, I identify as a survivor but it's because I literally survived myriad situations that ought to have killed me and now take a lot of pride in that. But when people are like "I had a boss who bullied me & my coworkers, I'm a survivor", it's like...yeah, you're kinda just watering down the word.
I call myself a survivor, but I can't help but agree with this. Though I don't think it should ONLY be reserved for situations where your life was literally in danger, tbf. I wasn't almost killed, but I suffered 2+ years of DV as a teenager while my abuser was living with me, isolating me, putting me through multiple types of abuse, and threatening my life at points, causing C-PTSD that I still deal with daily and self-harm that I struggled with for years (it also messed up my understanding of healthy relationships enough that I had 2 more abusive relationships after that, though thankfully they weren't as severe as the first). I think it's okay to call myself a survivor because there were points that I thought I wouldn't, or didn't want to, survive all of that. But on the other hand, I've also dealt with much less all-encompassing and terrifying forms of abuse, like being emotionally abused by an ex-best friend. It was really shitty to go through, but I don't think it would be fair or reasonable to say that I survived being abused by her. That's not fair to her or to other survivors because she never put my survival in question. I feel like "survivor" can be such a powerful term, and it's meant something to me for years, but I do wish that (especially in the last couple years) people were more careful and thoughtful about using it.
Though I will say - I wouldn't ever question a r*pe survivor for using the term (as one myself) because it's so common to be suicidal after the fact, and r*pe is just one of the most horrific things anyone can ever go through. My comment is only really about people using "survivor" when they're talking about things like going through emotional abuse from someone they didn't have to be around all the time, like a friend or boss. Just don't want anyone who went though SA to read my comment and think I'm trying to gatekeep the term "survivor" from them 💜
about her apologizing to 150 people, she mentioned recovery in that clip, apologizing to the people you’ve wronged is a step in AA. I guess she glazed over the part where you’re supposed to take into account if they even wanna hear what you have to say, because they’re not obligated to, like you said. But she sure grasped onto the “it’s gotta be in person and not in writing” part💀
31:10 Not defending Mercury in any way, but I'm really confused what exactly the texts they shared are supposed to be conveying? Just reading them on their own, she seems lovely and supportive. So what are they wanting us to think?
Just because a person does burlesque, doesnt mean we're going to do whatever. We have boundaries and can say no if we get uncomfortable. I've seen organizers attempt to make us get fully nude, give favors or even go home with people and that is NOT BURLESQUE! THAT IS NOT OUR JOB! Just because we dance sexy, doesnt mean we deserve this shit
I just want to point this out, I'm not defending anything. In the 12 step recovery program, one of the steps is to make a list of people you have wronged and apologize to them.
That one girl getting upset at people wanting proof and saying she essentially shouldn't have to look back on her experience to find proof to be believed rings alarm bells in my head. I'm sorry, as someone who's experienced abuse, if you want to tell the world, whether its social media or a damn court, that you were abused, you are going to have to delve back into your memories and whatever else for evidence if you plan on telling your story. Its uh... kinda how that works. I'm not saying she should automatically be called a liar, but the 2% of cases being false has been debunked several times. The actual number is actually around 7-12%. And might even be more since we live in a day in age, where faking evidence and weaponizing the "believe all victims" mentality has gotten increasingly easier for people to falsify sht. So yeah, anyone with any sense of common sense with their empathy would also have a part of their brain not wanting to accidentally put an innocent person in harms way bc someone falsely accused them of a horrendous crime they didn't commit. Obviously, Mercury isn't innocent. Her having relations with a minor is quite frankly all I need to know she doesn't deserve a platform. But even still, regardless of that, it still isn't okay to allegedly bring up crimes that haven't happened. If you need more things to hate Mercury for besides her literally admitting to performimg a predatory act, Im gunna make a big guess and assume you don't care much about the seriousness of the topic of abuse as much as you care about seeing someones downfall. Regardless of its validity.
@KristenZianourry2015 A youtuber called Adyn Palladin(i think that's how you spell it) did a deep dive into the subject of false allegations after the whole fiasco with MamaMax. She looked into the 2% statistic to see where it came from, as so mamy people would pull this number out but no sources led to an actual study claiming that number. Other studies we're conducted on the subject and if memory serves, the studies conducted stated the number is more closely around 12%+ and I'm pretty sure that study was done back in the 90s. Again, I watched that video months ago, so the exact date might be off. But I vividly remember 12% being mentioned. In this day im age, with anonymity, and easy access to tools to alter and create fake evidence, I highly believe even 12% is no longer an accurate number.
@@BlurryNovaumm. Her source was a study done in the 90s? That has no reliability at this point if that's the case. And I'm sorry, but "I watched a UA-camr a while ago who looked into this and I remember this number being mentioned" isn't close to enough evidence to say that the 2% statistic is wrong. You're saying people need proof to justify their lived experiences while providing no sources for your reasoning behind disbelieving them. I would hope a fellow survivor would understand that it's extremely difficult to impossible to get proof of so many instances of abuse.
I live in madison, I called her out on her most recent facebook post of her taking absolutely NO accountability and she automatically blocked me as soon as she asked what she did and i linked the tik tok account. she is a horrific person.
he. he's a man. stop playing into his gross fetish and charicature of what a woman is. they get off on us calling them she/her and brag about how it gives them "gender euphoria" on reddit for fucks sake.
hi, i hope this comes off as gentle. i'm not looking to pick a fight, just point something out. the term "survivor" is used by victims as a way to generally say you made it out of the situation. things aren't always life-threatening, no, but when we're pinched between a rock and a person who has power over us, we have no idea of knowing where things might go. no matter how irrational. the trauma and lasting effects on your psyche is also something you "survive." you live despite it, but you shouldn't have had to in the first place. i'm not always the best at understanding context, so you might not have had an issue with the term itself, and if that's the case then you don't need to bother with this comment! other than that, thank you for being generally respectful in this video and keeping an open mind. i really enjoy your content. there aren't many men on the commentator side of things who embody the passion you do without becoming petty and bigoted to appeal to the more dude-y audience. i hope you keep making content and manage to get rid of some of that fear you feel.
I do think some of this was nonsense. Owning publicly that you've been an asshole in the past and having a list of people you'd apologize to if you had the chance is perfectly okay behavior? I have people I'd apologize to if I ever met them again. Does that make me self-obsessed? I did some fucked up shit when I was 19 that I didn't want to do but got peer-pressured into and I hated it before during and after but I'm 31 now and that shit is very much in the past. I know hers wasn't a case of peer pressure but like, I sympathize with doing something morally repugnant when I was very freshly an adult. That didn't in fact, set the tone for my entire adulthood. And I HAVE met men who make up bullshit stories like that. Men who make up horseshit wild sex stories are everywhere in the online space. I had more thoughts but that's all I can get down off the top of my head. I don't think any of this was what it was made out to be and I think that's intellectually dishonest of the community. People have to be allowed to change and be imperfect, especially when they're honest about at least the vast majority of their shortcomings. The only other thing I can remember wanting to nitpick was maybe the 15 year old turned 16 over the course of the 4 months? That's the closest to devil's advocate I would ever play. I think Mercury Stardust is a morally mediocre person who probably wants to live up to what people expected her to be and has done a lot of good for the community that if she's actually repentant and just bad at expressing it, still should serve as sufficient penance for, let me check my list, doing something kinda fucked up a decade ago and making up cringe sex stories. Unless in my adhd distraction for a very long video I missed something making her much worse? But I really tried to pay attention here.
I struggle with my mental health and some days are worse than others and today was bad, but i can say my day is alot better now that you've posted, no matter the content of the video. Thank you! edit: as a trans person, i really appreciate your empathy and the fact that your takes never have any sort of bigotry implied and always go out of the way to be as empathetic and understanding as possible. Its not common to find that on the internet in this day and age, so although it is the bare minimum, I really appreciate that.
I couldn’t make sense of the podcast butt stuff (like who is saying what) but the way they talk is yucky. “Take advantage of” and “specimen,” sounds like locker room talk. Idk how the individual in question feels about it, but as an outsider I feel icky.
That making out clip still gives me the ick. It's deeply off putting to hear a woman talk about other women like they are something to be consumed. It's giving "grab em by the 🐈" vibes. It all sounds like something the Agro popular guy in an 80s movie would say to his buddies in the locker room.
You've earned yourself a sub. Your covering of this is so much more nuanced and actually fair instead of the overreaching transphobic reactions I have seen. I was so tired of people discussing all of the non-issues regarding the burlesque group instead of the actually serious allegations.
no one is allowed to actually speak their mind. this is a man. he is obviously a creepy man who found a fantastic grift to be able to rape children bc people like you offer people like this your compliance when you play along with their fetish and act like it's not creepy as fuck seeing these men out in public acting like they're dainty little women. knock the shit off.
I'm not saying this to support the creator. I don't follow her, and she's still a predator if her victim was 16. But as someone who has exaggerated bad things I have done to make them sound worse, I just want to say that it is possible. For me, it came from a place of deep self hatred. I wanted others to hate me as much as I did so I could validate the self hate. Just wanted to share a perspective you might not have considered.
As a person who was in ✨questionable✨ company while growing up I have other point of view about predators. In pathological environments people see the age gap relationship as normal. Finally when you get yourself out after many years, you see how sick and horrendous things were there - 22 yo with 15yo and they both doing drugs, sex in public toilets, older guys preying on underage girls. For me then it was kinda normal, but it was pathology. When I meet others, that also got themselves out, they also see what kind of sick fucks there we’re back then and trying to do everything in their power to apologize and do better. I think this is what Mercury is doing now - for sure being in that relationship was sickening, but she is not that person that she was back then and is trying to do her best to make herself better and not to be the person that she was. Sorry for bad English this is my second language.
This! That relationship took place 17 (!!) years ago. A crime is a crime, but people can and do change. Not to mention the nuances being a closeted trans person brings to the table, when it comes to sex, sexuality and relationships. It's not an excuse, but it can explain a lot. I don't think this situation is as black and white as people make it.
Hello! I really love your videos and am so happy to support a small creator. I usually agree with most of your points. However, when one of the victims were speaking about surviving I would assume they mean surviving the mental stress abusive relationships can have. Lots of abuse victims say they survived their abuse as it is very common for abuse victims to feel suicidal, and survive those thoughts. Anyway great video!
i was always curious about why her main IG handle is about being a top, weirdly sexual for a supposedly wholesome persona. she gives us trans women a bad name and i hope she stays deplatformed
I commented on a TikTok video about this saying that predators are predators, and it's unfortunate that Mercury did this, but as the audience, we don't get to decide that Mercury has changed for the sake of a parasocial relationship. No amount of internalized toxic masculinity or internalized transphobia can excuse or change the harm Mercury's actions may have caused. I had someone who claimed to be in her inner circle reach out to me to tell me I was causing further damage to Mercury and her friends, and I didn't have the depth to be a true trans ally. To say I was stunned is an understatement.
Thank you because I never had any idea who was supposed to be mercury or what was going on in any of the podcast clips. 😂 It doesn't help that they're sped up.
10:20 i think in general, if you're making out with someone, a good thing to point out is that you can try to, for instance, touch their butt but the second they pull away and express that they are uncomfortable, you should respect that. I'm sure you'd agree but just putting it out there for some other people who might think "anything goes because she let me kiss her" ya know
Words can't even begin to describe how devastated I am. I never thought my circle of creators would get painted in this light, as I make sure I'm EXTREMELY cautious about the content I consume. I'm stepping back-
I really enjoy her content, it makes me sad that she’s not above these kind of allegations. I want to support everyone who seems kind and genuine, but everyone has skeletons in their closet.
So the 19 and 15 yr old thing obvs isn't a great look but it also feels like a very personal line since we're talking about a four year difference. In many states, there's "Romeo and Juliet" laws that allow someone over the age of consent to date someone underage if the age difference isn't more than x years (commonly three or four). I have more grace for someone in that situation. If they were like 25 or something and going after a 15 year old then yes obviously, super gross and Drake coded. But we literally have Romeo and Juliet laws on the books to recognize that small gaps in age across the consent line is NOT the same as someone well into adulthood going after a teen. But I agree that if the 15 yr old comes forward and says "I was preyed upon" then 100% different discussion.
I guess I'm in the minority here but I feel like you can appreciate people and let them help you without expecting perfection across their whole lives. I think weve all done terrible things. I haven't finished the video but so far I just feel bad altogether, bad for mercury, bad for the victims, bad for the whole thing.
I'm sorry I'm going to be that person. I could not watch her content because I felt there was something just off. I usually am not right when I feel that way, so I just felt bad. 19 and 15 is so gross. And the fact that she was telling such horrible stories just rubs me the wrong way.
Sorry but if it looks like a predator and acts like a predator… it’s probably a predator. I don’t get how anyone is shocked when every influencer is being exposed for this kind of thing. Stop supporting strangers you don’t know, stop idolizing these people you don’t know. Stop making yourself a fan of anyone, because they don’t care about you, and the person they show to the world is never who they really are. I genuinely don’t know how anyone is getting duped anymore by these creeps. Same thing with anyone who was a fan of Mr. Beast, or Dream’s friend group (idk their names but like half of them turned out abusive). Like these people are doing this for easy money, not because they’re truly passionate. It’s their job. They’re driven by capitalism and greed, no matter how much they pretend to be “nice” or “comforting”. I feel sorry for those directly affected by this creator, but for the “fans” who are old enough to know better? Grow up and stop being a fan of other grown adults, it’s sad, and this is always the outcome. You can’t trust ANYONE on the internet.
I’m a straight male, but my friend + their partner are both Trans LGBT. We were talking about this situation yesterday, + they were very serious about how large an impact + how detrimental this is to their whole community. There’s a LOT, of shock, anger + betrayal being felt over this, + it’s going to ripple out + also affect people’s overall perception. I won’t claim to totally understand all of it, but from what I’ve seen + been told, this is incredibly bad + huge. (You covered this very well + tactfully Danky, thank-you...👍)
6:12 This is not a true statement. Strictly from a legal perspective (not condoning this, but very often legality is not the same as morality) _if_ it was only kissing/groping, it's not cut and dry illegal - especially decades ago (sounds like this was at least 15+yrs ago but I don't know her age). "Sexual acts," especially back then, almost exclusively refers to intercourses (including fellatio, objects, etc) - kissing was/is not under that umbrella. Again, statutes have changed A LOT in the last 5-10yrs to change or expand the definition of "sexual acts," but it would likely still be a very gray area if a prosecutor decided to pursue it - back then at least
I’ve noticed that people who are friends with abusers and know they’re abusers are also doing the same shit behind closed doors, abuse shall never be excused!
"Just show the messages." Sometimes we can't do that because we're embarrassed or afraid. I love this video because it seems like you have a level head on you, but I wholeheartedly believe everything the Casey and Bridgett said.
Every single person in recovery for alcohol, drugs or some other addiction does exactly what she is talking about doing. Its called "Making ammends". And its a requirement that everyone HAS to do in order to complete the 12 steps. It is a formerly self consumed person to take accountability for their past atrocious behaviors and give those they have harmed a genuine ammends. Not an apology, apologies are worthless, an ammends says "im here, showing remorse, let me know how what i can do to help make you whole moving forward. Addicts/Alchies are notoriously avoidant to their responsibilities and try and sidestep any and all accountability. When you "Make a list of those we have harmed" it is then our assignment to put forth honest effort to make ammends to each person IN person if they so choose. Some will tell us to fuck off and that is a reasonable response, we take it on the chin and understand we created the hurt the person is now displaying back to us. We earned it, so we accept it. So the list of people to apologize to is a very common practice in the recovery community. 🌷
I dont understand how people can refuse to see the main problem here. Yes, 19 is young, but 15/16 is execeptionally younger and less developed mentally and physically. How do they not understand that it's wrong? They either have to jump through hoops to justify themself or they do understand and dont care. Either way it's horrid. Edit: nice radiohead ref
context of the time is also important. it was extremely common for freshmen to date seniors and it's pretty much that. when as t the time society sees it as normal it's almost pathological
@@dasani.like.the.water. no, not really. it's really being blown out of proportion compared to most other scandals of this nature. I mean we literally had that Roblox weirdo try to kidnap that 16 yo...john shedletskey I believe
Times change. Society changes. What was normal becomes not normal. For a while there it was pretty common and normal to see mid-teens dating high-teens (15/16 x 18/19). It was just beginning to be more common for parents to make "You can't date someone if one of you is underage" rules. Meaning if their kid OR the kid they want to date will be under 18 while the other kid was over 18 they weren't allowed to date. Not all parents did that. From what I remember with my friend group and the band/orchestra it would have been around 25% of the student body for >my< graduating class that had parents with rules like that. The rest of them didn't bat an eye at such relationships and usually were confused when the few of us said "No, you are/ I am under age. Can't happen." It most often came up in situations where Kid A is 16 going on 17 and Kid B is 17 going on 18. Then the parents would suddenly pay attention and go "this relationship has to end because now it's inappropriate." I remember getting "the talk" from my parents about the age gap and being forbidden from dating ANYONE more than a year older than me, period. My brothers got "the talk" and their rule was they couldn't date higher or lower by more than 2 years and if they dated lower the parents had to consent. So I got to witness my parents + my brothers potential GF's parents discussing my brother and his potential GF's permission to date. When I talked to friends about it more than half of them were shocked such a conversation had happened and said their parents didn't care "as long as you're both in HS" which is a real problem because sometimes students can be as old as 22 in HS, depending on their situation.
@@Samhwain you said it was better than I did lmao I was sleep deprived and just trying to make it short and sweet, but you definitely explain it fully and much better than I did good job lmfao
Fucking christ. I loved Mercury's content. Her positivity was so refreshing and to find out that she is a fucking predator just breaks my heart. I hope the victims find peace and healing.
ugh this is so upsetting... i really liked her content. that clip was disgusting. completely innocent trans people will be accused of awful stuff because of people like this. so much for dedicating your life to helping people.
maybe because every week a new male trans influencer is outted as a disgusting child predator, ever think of that? they try to convince kids their parents hate them and want them to die of transphobia and then end up being a predator and you're upset that parents don't want their kids around that shit?
Eek. I'm pretty sure getting cheated on with 3 people age 15 or even age 18 is more damaging than having a nice relationship with a caring person age 15.
So many ppl have PTSD from cheating it's proven. I do still 3 years later (it was done in the worst way imaginable). If people really care about traumatising others then they should probably care about cheating a little bit more.
This shit just hurts man ..... I had no idea about any of this. As a trans man I was so excited to see an openly trans creator with such interesting content. I fucking despise people who just give us a worse reputation than we already have. It's awful. Thank you for bringing light to this
This is the first time somebody I actually liked was exposed as a weirdo, it just makes me so sad that this just tells conservatives that transpeople are more likely to be pedos, first Ava Kris Tyson, now Mercury Stardust. Which is probably one of the worse-r things to come from this situation.
As a queer trans person who is in the burlesque sphere...... This not only shocking but honestly disgusting. The first rule of Burlesque is CONSENT. ENTERTAINERS, AUDIENCE, CREW.... EVERYONE MUST CONSENT or it doesn't happen. Disheartening to hear but I'm glad it's coming out. Now if only the rest of us in the LGBTQIA2S + community didn't have to face the consequences and treatment people like this deserve INSTEAD OF THEM......
The fake upset quivering voice people put on in apology videos grosses me out. Like, you look and sound insincere AF. And then giving an excuse of, "I was going through whatever whatever and that's why I acted like that.". You can't put an excuse with your apology, it just erases the "apology". Gtfo. 😒
Can this stop happening. I’m fucking tired and angry and I’m worried how this is going to affect the queer community because I KNOW some shitheads are gonna pretend this is all of us and I’m so fucking pissed for the victims.
Good thing I love her content. Now, I'm equipped with the skills to build me a decent off-grid shelter somewhere faaaaaaaar away from civilization so I DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS FUCKERY AGAIN. Y'know how people say "never meet your idols?" I propose an addendum. Just... don't fucking HAVE idols. Full stop. 💀
Everytime I think "oh it happened so long ago I can forgive her" I have to remind myself it was a minor. 19 and 15 is insane. At 19 I wouldn't have done that. Why would you date a child???
14:13 I think that meeting with someone that you’ve wronged can be a really powerful experience. I had someone who did me extremely dirty offer to meet up with me and I was fence sitting for a while, but I ended up agreeing. He made all the effort to meet me (driving over two hours) and I think I grew as a person from that experience. The apology was very sincere and meaningful for me. BUT I didn’t have to say yes, and I like that you pointed that out.
I can empathize with you all as someone who is not Trans, I do apologize that the trans community is dealing with massive problems including public opinion
I loved your last video! I'd honestly love to sit and just listen to you talk about Egyptian history. Thank you for making videos that help me get through long work days I appreciate it bro.
I'm unsure if Mercury went through a 12-step program to recover from her alcoholism but if she did I think it would explain the "I need to apologize to everyone for everything" mentality. Making amends is one of the steps.
Don't do this to me.
Seriously!!! Whyyyyy 😢😢😢😢
Actually sobbing
I can't watch this happen again 😭
no... 😢 her video shorts make me feel seen... I can't handle this news
LIFE IS SO CRUEL
As an LGBT person, I was genuinely so fucking angry when Mercury got exposed. Every single fucking time this stuff comes out, the treatment of the rest of us gets ten times worse. I feel angry and betrayed, which sounds so silly bc I know it's parasocial and I don't *know* her, but she was a comfort creator for me for being just so positive and well-liked, without the full focus on LGBT issues. It was just comfort food. Now she's a creep too.
I’m not a trans person, but I also feel angry for you all. It’s like every fucking time something like this happens everyone’s mind goes 50 years back and the hate is absolutely unreal. I’m sorry and will continue fighting
@@adoboflav4skin thank you for being an ally
0:46 it needs to be talked about more that when a brain develops and you are presenting as a male to society. You are conditioned to be OK with objectifying and abusing women. Nobody was going to check mercury for what she did to that 15-year-old. Because everyone around them was normalizing it. That’s something in our society that people don’t talk about. So sure your identity can be valid, but she is a deeply flawed person for whatever development she had that made her think it was OK to take advantage of a child. Then to downplay it is absolutely disgusting.
@@MortifiedbirdI think you accidentally replied to a comment Mortified
No I feel angry, betrayed, devastated… it’s a little parasocial but it’s also just the blowback and the constant reminder that no one is trustworthy. It’s exhausting
That's it. Another 'comfort influencer' gone. Time to just throw away my phone and get in touch with nature ig
Literally😭
😢😢😢
I think it's better
Along with creeps, the internet is transformed to pure bot activity, it all seems fake
IM DONE
😭😭 that's on you for idoliIng someone and labeling them as a "comfort influencer"
As a trans man, this pisses me off so much. I work at a Chuck E. Cheese and have to fight for my ability to work around kids and not be seen as a child toucher, then shitheads like this happens.
Someone who taught me how to do shit that my dad refused to when he disowned me, who I thought could be trusted, turns around and betrays everyone.
If it helps, being 19 dating a 15 year old is barely a pedo. Not excusing the behavior if the victims feels like she was victimized. But it seems more like a poor choice than àn attraction thing. They could've been in high school together or some club or lived in the same neighborhood.
@@mocktrialbabehow would that help this person?
trans teacher and i feel you entirely
Obligatory fnaf joke...
stay strong dude💕
It’s for people to challenge their own biases and not judge people as a group. You can’t control another persons actions so you should not be punished for them. Of course this is upsetting
"Think of Mr Rogers but with a pair of boobs."
Mr. Rogers would never flirt with a child. Bro, I'm gonna cry for a bit.
I thought she said boots
@@okthanks4792 why would she say boots? 💀
@@renasuka Work boots cause she worked blue collar and teaches what she knows from her jobs
@okthanks4792 I thought the same thing,for the same reason too tbh
When someone declares themselves like mister Rodgers it's nefarious. People earn that type of title, they don't get to claim it. Warning signs.
Like boogie2988
@@HaveanOreshnikwho dat
Yeah, I remember Shane Dawson saying something kind of similar about how his old (racist, child exploiting, inappropriately harassing animals) content was for traumatized kids, and teaching them valueable things. Saying that it's "Like an afterschool special, but with dick jokes."
As if he was propping himself up next to good, empathetic role models to get the recognition and credibility but also trying to seem "cooler" and more relatable to prey on people easier.
It's such a weird and emotionally manipulative thing people like this do for validation, tbh.
THATS EXACTLY HOW I FELT
@eyetukafatshet6246 just an OG UA-cam turned grifter and lolcow
heres everyone's reminder that the persona someone puts out online should never be taken at face value as their true authentic self. not that you cant trust creators, i just think people get way too close and comfortable with people they like online and then have their trust betrayed, its been happening so much in the past half decade
Like seriously the parasocial relationships are WILD out here like "sobbing" why?? A person you like the content of is a bad person? Like, would you say that about someone you actually know? "Toby is a predator." *NOOO SOBBING 😭😭😭*
Like bffr
@@gabukomitsukiva It's chronically online brain at it's finest
It's the way it's always been since fame became a thing. Celebrities (the original kind) have PR for a reason.
i hate that i have to assume everyone is a liar, a grifter, a pedo or some other monster. why cant i just be on the internet in fucking peace
no genuinely. same thing with the cody ko thing a few months back where people were going insane; they made it more about themselves and how they couldnt go on without watching him like do you hear yourself??? its weird and kinda pathetic lmao its fine to be sad about a creator but people need to read the room
UGH. I'm pissed to hear this, I've supported her, donated, pre-ordered the book to support Mercury. Thank you for explaining and exposing this.
The sad thing is I would have gotten the book too if I had proper income!! It's actually so sad, I feel so betrayed 🥲
Just remember that your donation and money still went to charities and helping trans people, despite what Mercury has done!! ❤️
Same. I've bought her book and followed for awhile. Super upsetting.
lol at you
I almost ordered the book but as a renter the $30 was too much at the time. glad I dodged that one
54:00 RE; the 15 y/o coming out saying they were traumatized.
As we saw with Cody Ko, even Tana says she doesn’t feel traumatized by the events and at the time she was really excited about it. It took looking back now to realize how bad it was, but again she still doesn’t hold trauma. I don’t think that takes away from how bad the actions were, and that’s true in this situation as well. Mercury may not have had the same platform Cody did at the time, but she was still in a position of power over this girl. I am speaking only in context, not to misgender, but to the young girl, mercury was a “cool college guy” who had a lot more experience and freedom than her as almost likely a sophomore in HS. It’s unfortunately not an uncommon experience for young girls to go through. Mercury could probably drive, had a job, had some money, independence- that’s very attractive to a teenage girl.
EXACTLY!!!!!
Did I misunderstand? The 15 y/o hasn’t come out yet. The person in the video is one that is blaming her for ghosting her and being a cult leader (without proof)
@@KatherineAcosta20 no, you’re right. But he was making a point that it’s not “that bad” because the 15 year old hasn’t come out and it’s possible they aren’t traumatized. I’m saying it’s just as bad regardless. You can click on the timestamp I included to see what I’m referring to.
This!!!!
Exactly. My step daughter's mom was allowing her, at 12, to date a 16 year old. They dated for almost 4 years. When she and I spoke about it later, she said she genuinely didn't know it was wrong until she was older and by then, she felt like she had to make it work to prove everyone wrong.
I think sometimes we, as adults, forget that kids have different levels of maturity. Obviously a 16 and a 12 year old or a 19 and a 15 year old together isn't okay but it also doesn't mean that it's this blatantly obvious abusive relationship.
It makes me wonder if more people aren't coming out about their experiences because they'd be judged if they didn't feel traumatized. Society has very rigid standards on how they expect people to feel, especially these days.
As an ex heroin addict the hardest thing I needed to face was that forgiveness is not guaranteed, and even if I got better, it doesn’t mean people aren’t hurt about the past. They (mercury) act like a beacon of mental health and stability, but I truly don’t know if they understand what that actually means. Rather they just present themselves as a good person to convince everyone they are. A good person doesn’t need to convince anyone anything. They just are.
Also to preface I never did anything close to this bad, there’s no redemption from what mercury did. Just stating some things that I find gross about how they talk about it all
Congratulations on your recovery ❤❤ i have i think just gone 8 or 9 yrs 😂😂 had some awful family stuff happening so being so busy my yrs have blended,cant believe its gonna be 2025 soo and my grandson will be 4!😂 But well done
I am an ex heroin addict as well and support this comment 100%. I couldn’t have said it better.
im going to be so heartbroken, I love mercury so much
aww im sorry. but thank you for not being the kind of fan that refuses to believe things like this about their faves.
That's why it's really important to remember the person isn't the persona they put online that's just the parts of themselves they think best for the public eye
why the fuck would you love someone who literally does not know you exist and does not care about you at all. wake up.
yeah well there's an agenda and most people like you rufuse to believe people who say theres a problem, you also attack anyone who stands up against it while denouncing it as fake news and sexisim and transphobia. and in turn you become someone who defends predators.
@@docc0k190 yeah, I've learned that lesson really hard this year... I just found her so comforting because she was ablate teach me things to make life easier.
The amount of which they talk about sex and making out and all that feels very much like those weird cosplay groups full of teenagers who makeout with each other and feel the need to tell EVERYONE so they can show just how desirable and ‘sexy’ they are. It’s weird
Yes 😩
Accurate
absolutely... gross
How can you just be like okay with saying you flirted with a literal child.
It's not even funny as a joke, disgusting
She was 19, that's basically a child as well. Not defending but it's really not that bad. Literally a 4 year difference.
@@Necrophyllis. THAT IS BAD THATS A GROWN ADULT AND A CHILD YOU SICK FUCK
@@Necrophyllis.Look at it this way: Being out of school and at an age where you can hold a stable job, drive and live independently legally without need for parental consent etc is a far cry from being with someone who’s still in school with so much growing to do and so much they’ll be going through. No you’re both still very immature but there’s still one who has far more life experience and can really muddy the water when it comes to fair treatment because 15 and 19 are still at VERY different points in their lives. I was a massive fan of Mercury, so anything like this is difficult but at the same time I see why that age gap is an issue.
@@Sursie_Metzgerthisss
As a full time burlesque performer, I really appreciate how you explained the context of a burlesque show and didn’t pass judgement. All burlesque shows are different, but it is important to understand the context in this case. To be clear, I’m not condoning anything MS has done. I don’t know them and just learning about this. But, I genuinely appreciate the video.
Yes! I really appreciate him for this, not only around burlesque, but also around other topics people tend to judge. He tends to have an open mind, and is very objective about it.
Thanks for saying this. I appreciated it as well.
Agreed! ❤
agreed. we don’t need to take something out of context (ie sexual references in burlesque) to take these allegations seriously. in real life i would be grossed out by a college freshman dating a high school sophomore who can’t even drive yet- same applies to mercury.
I will say, as someone who was in an age gap relationship, I was the minor, it doesn't really hit till later that it was wrong. I look back now, at the age he was, and think how disgusting that was and how awful it would be to do to someone.
Same. 13 and 17 when we started "dating" -
I know someone I grew in a sport with and years later, she was like 18/19 and in college in a state and city she didn’t really know and our old coach happened to live there at the time as well. Naturally she spent time with him and his kids at the sport venue he worked at since he was one of few ppl she knew and her whole family knew him. A few years later on social media it definitely seemed like they spent a lot of time together and eventually were living together and years after that they were engaged. I was so unsettled cause this grown man knew her when she was 9 till she was maybe 15. To preface everyone knew he tended to date younger women but never suspected he would date someone he knew as a child. It was disturbing and now that she’s out of that relationship I hope she’s doing alright cause I imagine she’ll become uneasy with the realization as she gets older. He was her first serious adult relationship.
I completely agree. I still get grossed out when I think of my first boyfriend. He knew me when I was 17 and we started dating when I turned 18. He was 32
This one hits really hard, she was a comfort creator for so many people, including me. I hope everyone around her is safe. Another reminder to never trust someone you don’t really know, unfortunately. Makes it so hard to build real community :(
Isn't the person a man?? I am certain having people refer to him as "she" allowed him to gain the trust and get into places where a random adult male would not have so easily been trusted.
@@st-nw7tm she is a trans woman. And no, from what I’ve heard all of this happened before she transitioned, which was later in life. The trope of people transitioning specifically to prey on women is transphobic and doesn’t actually happen.
:( I feel like it's just one setback after another in this community lately
@@Hannahgs there are plenty of stories of men who are predators using the fact that a random woman is more trusted than a random man in order to get close to others. For ex. the Mr Beast man Kris who is one of hundreds of men who have done something similar. These men and those who call them 'she' are doing a disservice to the LGB community.
"build community" in real life with people you actually know...
You really take good care of your curls, they look healthy :D
I was noticing that too, he must have a good hair care routine. Dankyjabo, drop the hair care routine we want to know ❤️❤️ looks very healthy and defined curls, absolutely stunning. if I know what you use I’ll get my curly little sister some ❤️❤️
DankyJabo always looks good in their videos:)
I use herbal essences conditioner and a wide tooth comb in the shower, then a pump or two of Moroccan argan oil :)
@@Dankyjaboperfect, I’ll get her everything
@@Dankyjabo i used these products before I started my locks and it really helps your scalp breathe
I didn’t know of Mercury until this video, but seeing all the comments who are genuinely devastated by all of this coming out is heartbreaking. 💔
Same, it sucks seeing someone people cherished so much turn out to be a crappy person, even if you’d never heard of the person before
Calling oneself a survivor or saying one survived something doesn't always have to pertain to having one's life threatened/on the line. Someone could be abused emotionally, where their physical health wasn't threatened at all, and still say they're a survivor - because they survivied that abuse.
It's a pattern of behavior. Hyper sexualized stories and jokes. Some people who engage in predatory behavior position themselves in environments where they can hide better
Why…..just…why? Why is it always the people who you least expect? The people you trust?
unfortunately that is usually how groomers get into positions where they can groom people. by creating a trustworthy persona
the people you expect least???!!!! what damn rock have you been living under and what statistics have you CHOSEN TO IGNORE!?
@TheKanguru
What statistics do you happen ti be referencing?
I must inquire
Perhaps a citation is in order?
@@TheKanguru Oh you mean like the statistics about priests and youth pastors?
@@berrriesncreme4558 nope, but that's exactly my point and the problem, if you spread truth but inject a lie even if its only because of his lack or research or ignorance on a subject it discredits everything. if you have a truther channel and you do it lazily and spread BS and people think its the truth, well that's dangerous and ignorant and stupid so. fix up , he wants to do a channel like this make sure you aren't ACCUSING or FALSELY ASSUMING in regards to a topic or PURELY IGNORANT because of a Lack or Research..
why is everyone getting the drake disease bro 😭😭
Maybe it's like an STI.
Same bro why😭
I’d just like to take a moment and thank you for not misgendering people, no matter how horrible they are. Their gender is not the primary issue here, and I’m so glad you recognize that. When Ava Kris Tyson was outed as a pedophile, a lot of videos would misgender her and were overall transphobic so I was missing out and I would support her without actually watching the videos bc I thought it was just transphobia (my little cousin watched mister beast and his dad is a right wing homophobe that hates “wokeness” and tries to influence him, so I’d use Ava as an example that “trans people aren’t really that different”)
I’m so grateful that you actually properly label people as they desire and actually only focus on the shitty things they’ve done so people can be properly informed without the stigma. Thank you, I enjoy your content so much. Keep going 🫶
Literally followed him for his lily tino video since everyone else was just being vitriolic against the concept of Trans people and he just stated facts
Fr the basic human respect is important. So many people seem to be OK with purposely misgendering a Trans person when they do something wrong but they wouldn't misgender a cis person on purpose for doing the same action.
@hedgie_doll2314 That's because people aren't too convinced that they're being completely honest about being trans. But I definitely wouldn't bring basic human respect into it, when they can't do that themselves
@@LordPoppy don’t start, please.
If someone cant give basic human respect, be the better person. Don’t go for a low blow, especially when it comes to gender, weight, race and stuff because not all trans people are bad. We can all agree predators are bad, yeah? Then let’s focus on that. Be the better person.
It’s honestly the bare minimum but I understand why you’re so thankful bc a lot of people can’t even do the bare minimum
So, I’m about to type out what will probably be some very unpopular thoughts, and I want to make it clear that I am neither trying to condone nor excuse Mercury’s admitted relationship with a 15 y/o when she was 19. With that in mind, I do think there are a couple of points worthy to bring into the conversation. The first is lack of information we have around the situation. You mentioned, of course, that we’ve not heard from the victim (which would not exonerate her regardless), But I we also don’t have much, if any, information about the people she surrounded herself with or her mental state at the time. While the possibility of feeling social pressure and mental distress doesn’t make her actions any less abhorrent, we can’t discount that those factors might have contributed to her decisions. The second point I’d like to mention is that, though 19 years makes you an adult, legally, the frontal lobe doesn’t finish fully developing until mid-20s. And while we should hold young adults responsible for their actions, we should also remember that they still have a lot of growing up to do. It is possible that, as she grew up, learned, and got out of bad social environments, that she realized the horror of her past actions, and is completely sickened by them, now.
All this is to say that, IF this was an isolated incident and Mercury truly has changed, I don’t necessarily believe she needs to leave the internet, entirely. I think it’s important to, generally, offer people the benefit of the doubt and an opportunity to grow. If Mercury has improved herself, truly regrets her past actions, and made a change for the better, I think it could be beneficial to the internet to see that it is possible.
Again, I’d like to reiterate that this is not a defense of Mercury’s past actions. I simply thought it was important to consider some of the possible nuances of the situation, as the internet doesn’t always do very well with that. And these nuances are entirely dependent on Mercury’s sincere acknowledgment and reproach of her past actions, and genuine efforts to do better.
This is exactly how I feel.
Thank you for making this comment. I was thinking the same and you expressed it very well for me.
Also, when I was 14 my boyfriend was 18. I don't think of him as a predator. I thought it was cool to be dating a senior. But it was the 80's and things were different then.
@@Maria-zz3fwyeah my stepmom in the 80s was 17 dating a 25 year old & they got married & eventually divorced. He trashed her credit & stole from her. Several women got pregnant during the marriage and none of them were her so I think it’s probably for the best that adults date adults at this point in time. Lasting consequences
I disagree with this law, for the reasons that the age gap is too much for developing people, 15 and 19 would be legal in my country. It would be legal in many other places that have these "flexible" laws that aims to protect children while also enabling them to have relationships with one another. Again, I do not think 15 and 19 is acceptable, but it also doesn't make the person automatically a predator either. Were she in my country, she wouldn't ever be held against the law. I think it's perfectly fair and likely just that people are upset, however given her age I would argue that if something hasn't happened again, then it's likely to be a weird situation that she dares not repeat again (which is good).
Agreed, especially if it’s true that it only went as far as kissing. I’ve been a victim of SA in the past. I’ve also had relationships with older teenagers when I was a teenager. When I was 15 I was with a 19 year old. It did go farther than kissing. Now looking back, I definitely do think it was kinda weird and a little creepy. HOWEVER, I definitely do not feel victimized by that. I’ve experienced SA, and that wasn’t it. We met each other at school, a 4 year age gap between teens mean they could’ve met in school. I’m not saying it’s okay, it’s definitely not. The “adult” definitely shouldn’t be getting with teens that much younger.
I also think it’s worth noting that she was only 19 at the time, that’s also very young. But a 19 year old kissing a 15 year old really is not that big of a deal IMO, especially if it was just kissing. I think it’s kinda odd that it’s this big of a deal. Do I think it’s weird and creepy? Yes. But she was a 19 year old. Was it a mistake? Yeah she shouldn’t have done it. But is a 19 year old kissing a 15 year old abuse? I definitely don’t think so.
Obviously I cannot speak for the 15 year old she kissed when she was 19. But I can speak for myself. If the guy I was with (when we had the same age gap) was getting so much hate for what we did we when we’re both teens, I would find it overkill. Yeah it was kinda creepy, but should his career be ruined for it? Absolutely not.
Saying that you can't call yourself a survivor of abuse when it's not 'life threatening' is an incredibly wild statement to me. Even if the twins' accusations aren't credible due to the lack of evidence provided, saying that you aren't a 'survivor' of abuse when nothing ever threatened your life to a wide audience is incredibly problematic to me and discredits the struggles and healing of people whose abuse hasn't escalated to a point of life or death harm. And whose to say something that isn't physically abusive in that way isn't life threatening? So many people struggle with suicidal thoughts after their abuse. Please think harder on your arguments and wording before you uncritically broadcast them online.
Thank you for saying this, i agree completely
Right? Just because I escaped before the weird basement room doesn’t mean nothing bad happened
THEY HIT THE PENTAGON
This does genuinely make me sad, especially because it’s a trans woman I looked up to for a while due to her fundraising for trans kids.
This is gonna be weaponized against all us trans woman. :(
A kid kissed a kid. Oh no! 15 & 19? This is a perfect example of Malum Prohibitum, as opposed to Malum In Se. (Bad because it's illegal, as opposed to bad because it's bad)
@jeffzeiler346 right? Like yes it's not ideal, and is a little weird, but it doesn't make her a predator. Especially since that was what, 30 years ago? Like we've all done stupid shit as teenagers. And 4 years is not a substantial age gap. 🙄
@@jeffzeiler346 no, a 15 and 19 year old is definitely wrong. They are on completely different stages of development, one is an adult, the other one is a young highschooler. Completely different levels of maturity
(Og post was made before I watched the video in full since it’d only been out for half an hour btw) Still, 15 and 19 is a more significant age gap than say, 30 and 34, because 15 and 19 year old kids are at different stages of development. Being a 19 yr old kissing a 15 yr old doesn’t make you an unforgivable pedo, but it’s still odd and one should know better than to kiss a younger high schooler while they’re college aged. 🤷♂
My out loud very loud reaction was just a long NOOOOOOOOOO
This is heartbreaking…
Is it that hard to leave kids alone?? 😭🙏
thats why im thinking like do they never consider what effects this has on children or do they just want to please themselves 😭😭
Its the influencer disease
Its like corprus but somehow more gross and widespread
(Really hope someone gets that reference)
@@jackiefox_143 Tunnel vision fomo. Yes, fomo. They'll call it temptation but it's basically fear of missing out. They don't see the child as their own person, but as an unlived sexual experience.
@@bluosom7585Thats quite interesting
Source? That sounds whack, ngl. If it's real i would sincerely love to read up on it. @@bluosom7585
I disagree. Making out with someone doesn't immediately give you the right to touch someone else's body. Silence doesn't mean yes
I understand and respect what you're saying, but only agree somewhat. No, silence is certainly not consent, but if you are actively making out with someone, you will have your hands on them somewhere. Usually, as hands travel around, the other person will tell you or insinuate to you where it is or is not ok to put them. You're not gonna be kissing them with your hands in the air, asking part by part where you can touch. If I'm not comfortable with below-the-waist touching, I will scoot back, move the hand away, and/or verbally stop them. Any combination should work, and if it doesn't, gtfo. But I'm not asking out loud for permission, nor do I want to be asked for every body part. I'd say nonverbal communication has worked for me 95% of the time. And that other 5% was with people who wouldn't have listened no matter what was expressed or how. But if verbal consent to that degree is your thing, and you like it and express that need right away, then good on you - to each, their own; and I hope you find good partners who respect you.
@tubblebub thanks for such a civil reply, I appreciate it! I hear you! To me they way they talked about it sounded like they made out with the girl only to "cop a feel", it sounded like that was the goal, objectifying her body talking about her as the girl with the ass, (but then again I wasn't there). Nonverbal communication is super important! It's just too many folks who immediately assume that just because X was Ok that automatically means Y is too. I don't know how that girl felt, maybe she was fine with it (again, I wasn't there), I just wish more people would pull the breaks juuust a little bit and make sure the person is okay with it before as to not overstep boundaries. Sometimes nonverbal queues aren't clear to some and there's no negative to making the habit of being extra sure. Again, thank you. Hope you have a good day!
@@leonora4369 *do you also sip tea on the daily while reading the paper..?*
I made her fan art once, she totally ignored me. Now I am glad she did.
13:47 I will say, this apology style is very commonly used by recovering alcoholics/folks using a 12 step program. It sounds like very typical amends talk.
Could you elaborate?
@@eyetukafatshet6246 absolutely. In AA, step 8 and 9 are about making amends. Step 8 is making a list of all the people you have harmed while using. Step 9 is about making those amends; the verbiage in the “big book”, or the text that is followed in AA, says to make direct amends, which could be interpreted as sitting down with the individuals wronged to do so. 12 step programs exists for lots of forms of addiction, my personal experiences just come from the world of AA so that’s why I’m referencing it specifically. But that’s my interpretation of what she was saying.
@@haleystudyvin1273 if my alcoholic ex ever tried to reach out and apologize to me, I would tell him to fuck off.
@@haleystudyvin1273 tysm for sharing
I came here to say this, one of the examples they gave was being rude to their ex at a party. I had a brother who went through the program and when I was 13 he came and apologized for the ways his addiction affected my childhood. If you think of the “wrongs” as just that, when we put ourselves (or an addiction) first and it hurts someone else, how often are we selfish? Makes more sense the number is so high.
Found your vids recently. I really appreciate your takes on things. You are a breath of fresh air for the commentary community
i agree!! his perspective is really helpful
Seriously! He manages to take a reasonable middle road without fence sitting, which is so important. I have a lot of respect to his openness to criticism, too.
If you like the way he thinks and convey things from both sides, but still usually stands in the middle of things, I think you would like Salem Tovar. She is the same, very objective, but still having that logical empathy in all situations, the same as dankyjabo.
How dare UA-cam hide this from me for 4 minutes
REAL
UA-cam’S A REAL HATER
RADIO HEAD REFERENCE?!! 0:47
Transformers.
As a “worker”, at 26, I’m still advertised as 19 because it actually IS a thing. Every girl in my industry here is aged down AS MUCH as possible as to what they can pass as, because that’s what men want.. I so often get asked
“So when did you turn 19?””Did you just turn 19””did you start at 18?””you’re so young” and similar….. because it really is such a big thing behind closed doors for men. That’s the reality for what is considered one of the most peaceful countries in the world, where this is legal, it is backed by laws and supported by the government during things like c*vid etc… I can’t imagine what the reality is like for other places in the world that aren’t considered like mine, like America, Europe, etc.. it would be worse.
And while we like to hope this isn’t reality, after over 4000 clients, I can tell you, it is.
They are pedos. 18 and 19 is basically "I can get away with it now"
I assume Casey is using "survive" in the sense that she just went through and got away from abuse in general, that's usually how "survivor" gets used in abuse discourse. As someone who's been through childhood abuse, domestic violence and now works with DV victims as a caseworker: I get people opt for "survivor" instead of "victim" as it's more empowering but...ngl it often comes across as a trite buzzword akin to "girlboss", imo. Like, I identify as a survivor but it's because I literally survived myriad situations that ought to have killed me and now take a lot of pride in that.
But when people are like "I had a boss who bullied me & my coworkers, I'm a survivor", it's like...yeah, you're kinda just watering down the word.
I call myself a survivor, but I can't help but agree with this. Though I don't think it should ONLY be reserved for situations where your life was literally in danger, tbf. I wasn't almost killed, but I suffered 2+ years of DV as a teenager while my abuser was living with me, isolating me, putting me through multiple types of abuse, and threatening my life at points, causing C-PTSD that I still deal with daily and self-harm that I struggled with for years (it also messed up my understanding of healthy relationships enough that I had 2 more abusive relationships after that, though thankfully they weren't as severe as the first). I think it's okay to call myself a survivor because there were points that I thought I wouldn't, or didn't want to, survive all of that.
But on the other hand, I've also dealt with much less all-encompassing and terrifying forms of abuse, like being emotionally abused by an ex-best friend. It was really shitty to go through, but I don't think it would be fair or reasonable to say that I survived being abused by her. That's not fair to her or to other survivors because she never put my survival in question.
I feel like "survivor" can be such a powerful term, and it's meant something to me for years, but I do wish that (especially in the last couple years) people were more careful and thoughtful about using it.
Though I will say - I wouldn't ever question a r*pe survivor for using the term (as one myself) because it's so common to be suicidal after the fact, and r*pe is just one of the most horrific things anyone can ever go through. My comment is only really about people using "survivor" when they're talking about things like going through emotional abuse from someone they didn't have to be around all the time, like a friend or boss. Just don't want anyone who went though SA to read my comment and think I'm trying to gatekeep the term "survivor" from them 💜
about her apologizing to 150 people, she mentioned recovery in that clip, apologizing to the people you’ve wronged is a step in AA. I guess she glazed over the part where you’re supposed to take into account if they even wanna hear what you have to say, because they’re not obligated to, like you said. But she sure grasped onto the “it’s gotta be in person and not in writing” part💀
31:10 Not defending Mercury in any way, but I'm really confused what exactly the texts they shared are supposed to be conveying? Just reading them on their own, she seems lovely and supportive. So what are they wanting us to think?
I agree with you. I don't even see why people feel like Mercury did anything wrong here...like what??
@@HipsterSpinster_ creep
Just because a person does burlesque, doesnt mean we're going to do whatever. We have boundaries and can say no if we get uncomfortable. I've seen organizers attempt to make us get fully nude, give favors or even go home with people and that is NOT BURLESQUE! THAT IS NOT OUR JOB! Just because we dance sexy, doesnt mean we deserve this shit
I just want to point this out, I'm not defending anything. In the 12 step recovery program, one of the steps is to make a list of people you have wronged and apologize to them.
That one girl getting upset at people wanting proof and saying she essentially shouldn't have to look back on her experience to find proof to be believed rings alarm bells in my head.
I'm sorry, as someone who's experienced abuse, if you want to tell the world, whether its social media or a damn court, that you were abused, you are going to have to delve back into your memories and whatever else for evidence if you plan on telling your story. Its uh... kinda how that works.
I'm not saying she should automatically be called a liar, but the 2% of cases being false has been debunked several times. The actual number is actually around 7-12%. And might even be more since we live in a day in age, where faking evidence and weaponizing the "believe all victims" mentality has gotten increasingly easier for people to falsify sht. So yeah, anyone with any sense of common sense with their empathy would also have a part of their brain not wanting to accidentally put an innocent person in harms way bc someone falsely accused them of a horrendous crime they didn't commit.
Obviously, Mercury isn't innocent. Her having relations with a minor is quite frankly all I need to know she doesn't deserve a platform. But even still, regardless of that, it still isn't okay to allegedly bring up crimes that haven't happened. If you need more things to hate Mercury for besides her literally admitting to performimg a predatory act, Im gunna make a big guess and assume you don't care much about the seriousness of the topic of abuse as much as you care about seeing someones downfall. Regardless of its validity.
This is so well said man
It is kind of a red flag that she’s not willing to show evidence
I just wanna know where your source is for the actual number?
@KristenZianourry2015 A youtuber called Adyn Palladin(i think that's how you spell it) did a deep dive into the subject of false allegations after the whole fiasco with MamaMax. She looked into the 2% statistic to see where it came from, as so mamy people would pull this number out but no sources led to an actual study claiming that number. Other studies we're conducted on the subject and if memory serves, the studies conducted stated the number is more closely around 12%+ and I'm pretty sure that study was done back in the 90s. Again, I watched that video months ago, so the exact date might be off. But I vividly remember 12% being mentioned. In this day im age, with anonymity, and easy access to tools to alter and create fake evidence, I highly believe even 12% is no longer an accurate number.
@@BlurryNovaumm. Her source was a study done in the 90s? That has no reliability at this point if that's the case. And I'm sorry, but "I watched a UA-camr a while ago who looked into this and I remember this number being mentioned" isn't close to enough evidence to say that the 2% statistic is wrong. You're saying people need proof to justify their lived experiences while providing no sources for your reasoning behind disbelieving them. I would hope a fellow survivor would understand that it's extremely difficult to impossible to get proof of so many instances of abuse.
I live in madison, I called her out on her most recent facebook post of her taking absolutely NO accountability and she automatically blocked me as soon as she asked what she did and i linked the tik tok account. she is a horrific person.
he. he's a man. stop playing into his gross fetish and charicature of what a woman is. they get off on us calling them she/her and brag about how it gives them "gender euphoria" on reddit for fucks sake.
Openly admitting to flirting and trying to do stuff with a minor is absolutely insane.
hi, i hope this comes off as gentle. i'm not looking to pick a fight, just point something out. the term "survivor" is used by victims as a way to generally say you made it out of the situation. things aren't always life-threatening, no, but when we're pinched between a rock and a person who has power over us, we have no idea of knowing where things might go. no matter how irrational. the trauma and lasting effects on your psyche is also something you "survive." you live despite it, but you shouldn't have had to in the first place. i'm not always the best at understanding context, so you might not have had an issue with the term itself, and if that's the case then you don't need to bother with this comment! other than that, thank you for being generally respectful in this video and keeping an open mind. i really enjoy your content. there aren't many men on the commentator side of things who embody the passion you do without becoming petty and bigoted to appeal to the more dude-y audience. i hope you keep making content and manage to get rid of some of that fear you feel.
I do think some of this was nonsense. Owning publicly that you've been an asshole in the past and having a list of people you'd apologize to if you had the chance is perfectly okay behavior? I have people I'd apologize to if I ever met them again. Does that make me self-obsessed? I did some fucked up shit when I was 19 that I didn't want to do but got peer-pressured into and I hated it before during and after but I'm 31 now and that shit is very much in the past. I know hers wasn't a case of peer pressure but like, I sympathize with doing something morally repugnant when I was very freshly an adult. That didn't in fact, set the tone for my entire adulthood. And I HAVE met men who make up bullshit stories like that. Men who make up horseshit wild sex stories are everywhere in the online space.
I had more thoughts but that's all I can get down off the top of my head. I don't think any of this was what it was made out to be and I think that's intellectually dishonest of the community. People have to be allowed to change and be imperfect, especially when they're honest about at least the vast majority of their shortcomings. The only other thing I can remember wanting to nitpick was maybe the 15 year old turned 16 over the course of the 4 months? That's the closest to devil's advocate I would ever play. I think Mercury Stardust is a morally mediocre person who probably wants to live up to what people expected her to be and has done a lot of good for the community that if she's actually repentant and just bad at expressing it, still should serve as sufficient penance for, let me check my list, doing something kinda fucked up a decade ago and making up cringe sex stories.
Unless in my adhd distraction for a very long video I missed something making her much worse? But I really tried to pay attention here.
I struggle with my mental health and some days are worse than others and today was bad, but i can say my day is alot better now that you've posted, no matter the content of the video. Thank you!
edit: as a trans person, i really appreciate your empathy and the fact that your takes never have any sort of bigotry implied and always go out of the way to be as empathetic and understanding as possible. Its not common to find that on the internet in this day and age, so although it is the bare minimum, I really appreciate that.
A list of 150 people you’ve done wrong is inane. I don’t think I could come up with 150 names of people I’ve met 😭
I couldn’t make sense of the podcast butt stuff (like who is saying what) but the way they talk is yucky. “Take advantage of” and “specimen,” sounds like locker room talk. Idk how the individual in question feels about it, but as an outsider I feel icky.
This. Regardless of or on top of everything else, the misogyny level is gross and now she doesn’t feel like a safe person
That making out clip still gives me the ick. It's deeply off putting to hear a woman talk about other women like they are something to be consumed. It's giving "grab em by the 🐈" vibes. It all sounds like something the Agro popular guy in an 80s movie would say to his buddies in the locker room.
You've earned yourself a sub. Your covering of this is so much more nuanced and actually fair instead of the overreaching transphobic reactions I have seen. I was so tired of people discussing all of the non-issues regarding the burlesque group instead of the actually serious allegations.
no one is allowed to actually speak their mind. this is a man. he is obviously a creepy man who found a fantastic grift to be able to rape children bc people like you offer people like this your compliance when you play along with their fetish and act like it's not creepy as fuck seeing these men out in public acting like they're dainty little women. knock the shit off.
I'm not saying this to support the creator. I don't follow her, and she's still a predator if her victim was 16. But as someone who has exaggerated bad things I have done to make them sound worse, I just want to say that it is possible. For me, it came from a place of deep self hatred. I wanted others to hate me as much as I did so I could validate the self hate. Just wanted to share a perspective you might not have considered.
I haven’t been impacted by anyone who’s been exposed so far and suddenly I am fucking shattered….
Same
damn. I thought mercury was a good egg.
this sucks so much. I hope everyone involved is safe.
As a person who was in ✨questionable✨ company while growing up I have other point of view about predators. In pathological environments people see the age gap relationship as normal. Finally when you get yourself out after many years, you see how sick and horrendous things were there - 22 yo with 15yo and they both doing drugs, sex in public toilets, older guys preying on underage girls. For me then it was kinda normal, but it was pathology. When I meet others, that also got themselves out, they also see what kind of sick fucks there we’re back then and trying to do everything in their power to apologize and do better. I think this is what Mercury is doing now - for sure being in that relationship was sickening, but she is not that person that she was back then and is trying to do her best to make herself better and not to be the person that she was. Sorry for bad English this is my second language.
I agree with all your points. Well said.
This! That relationship took place 17 (!!) years ago. A crime is a crime, but people can and do change. Not to mention the nuances being a closeted trans person brings to the table, when it comes to sex, sexuality and relationships. It's not an excuse, but it can explain a lot. I don't think this situation is as black and white as people make it.
Hardest challenge: be an influencer or famous person and not be a horrible person.
Hello! I really love your videos and am so happy to support a small creator. I usually agree with most of your points. However, when one of the victims were speaking about surviving I would assume they mean surviving the mental stress abusive relationships can have. Lots of abuse victims say they survived their abuse as it is very common for abuse victims to feel suicidal, and survive those thoughts. Anyway great video!
i was always curious about why her main IG handle is about being a top, weirdly sexual for a supposedly wholesome persona. she gives us trans women a bad name and i hope she stays deplatformed
I commented on a TikTok video about this saying that predators are predators, and it's unfortunate that Mercury did this, but as the audience, we don't get to decide that Mercury has changed for the sake of a parasocial relationship. No amount of internalized toxic masculinity or internalized transphobia can excuse or change the harm Mercury's actions may have caused. I had someone who claimed to be in her inner circle reach out to me to tell me I was causing further damage to Mercury and her friends, and I didn't have the depth to be a true trans ally. To say I was stunned is an understatement.
We can't say that she has changed but we also can't say she hasn't for definite.
@BeccaB-dr6vd The chance that she hasn't isn't enough for me to desire to maintain any kind of parasocial relationship with her.
Who is the co-host?!? It just sounds like mercury talking to herself 😭😭😭
Right? I legit can’t tell who is who
@@altounedited3 same 😭😭😭 it’s like hearing her inner monologue talking to itself AHAHAHHA
@@bunbell5329 ong lol like wyd bih
Thank you because I never had any idea who was supposed to be mercury or what was going on in any of the podcast clips. 😂 It doesn't help that they're sped up.
10:20 i think in general, if you're making out with someone, a good thing to point out is that you can try to, for instance, touch their butt but the second they pull away and express that they are uncomfortable, you should respect that. I'm sure you'd agree but just putting it out there for some other people who might think "anything goes because she let me kiss her" ya know
Words can't even begin to describe how devastated I am. I never thought my circle of creators would get painted in this light, as I make sure I'm EXTREMELY cautious about the content I consume. I'm stepping back-
I really enjoy her content, it makes me sad that she’s not above these kind of allegations. I want to support everyone who seems kind and genuine, but everyone has skeletons in their closet.
9:44 *correction* "she admits to being in a relationship with a 14 year old when she was 19" they said "ALMOST 15".
it's "although" and he brings that point up later in the video lol
So the 19 and 15 yr old thing obvs isn't a great look but it also feels like a very personal line since we're talking about a four year difference. In many states, there's "Romeo and Juliet" laws that allow someone over the age of consent to date someone underage if the age difference isn't more than x years (commonly three or four). I have more grace for someone in that situation. If they were like 25 or something and going after a 15 year old then yes obviously, super gross and Drake coded. But we literally have Romeo and Juliet laws on the books to recognize that small gaps in age across the consent line is NOT the same as someone well into adulthood going after a teen. But I agree that if the 15 yr old comes forward and says "I was preyed upon" then 100% different discussion.
Age of consent in wisconsin is 18. It was absolutely illegal for her to be with a 15 year old at 19. Ewwww
I'm going to go insane, she's literally the reason I felt confident fixing my own shit at home
I guess I'm in the minority here but I feel like you can appreciate people and let them help you without expecting perfection across their whole lives. I think weve all done terrible things. I haven't finished the video but so far I just feel bad altogether, bad for mercury, bad for the victims, bad for the whole thing.
@@ewetn1there’s a difference between doing a bad thing, and being a predator.
@@Moon17obthis. Doing bad things doesn’t always mean being attracted to people. It’s like one of the worst things
I'm sorry I'm going to be that person. I could not watch her content because I felt there was something just off. I usually am not right when I feel that way, so I just felt bad. 19 and 15 is so gross. And the fact that she was telling such horrible stories just rubs me the wrong way.
Sorry but if it looks like a predator and acts like a predator… it’s probably a predator. I don’t get how anyone is shocked when every influencer is being exposed for this kind of thing. Stop supporting strangers you don’t know, stop idolizing these people you don’t know. Stop making yourself a fan of anyone, because they don’t care about you, and the person they show to the world is never who they really are. I genuinely don’t know how anyone is getting duped anymore by these creeps. Same thing with anyone who was a fan of Mr. Beast, or Dream’s friend group (idk their names but like half of them turned out abusive). Like these people are doing this for easy money, not because they’re truly passionate. It’s their job. They’re driven by capitalism and greed, no matter how much they pretend to be “nice” or “comforting”. I feel sorry for those directly affected by this creator, but for the “fans” who are old enough to know better? Grow up and stop being a fan of other grown adults, it’s sad, and this is always the outcome. You can’t trust ANYONE on the internet.
I’m a straight male, but my friend + their partner are both Trans LGBT.
We were talking about this situation yesterday, + they were very serious about how large an impact + how detrimental this is to their whole community.
There’s a LOT, of shock, anger + betrayal being felt over this, + it’s going to ripple out + also affect people’s overall perception.
I won’t claim to totally understand all of it, but from what I’ve seen + been told, this is incredibly bad + huge.
(You covered this very well + tactfully Danky, thank-you...👍)
The way you've been pumping out content is amazing. I'm newer to the channel but i'm INVESTED
I go to a burlesque convention every year called Burlycon, and they just publicly uninvited her 😮
6:12 This is not a true statement. Strictly from a legal perspective (not condoning this, but very often legality is not the same as morality) _if_ it was only kissing/groping, it's not cut and dry illegal - especially decades ago (sounds like this was at least 15+yrs ago but I don't know her age). "Sexual acts," especially back then, almost exclusively refers to intercourses (including fellatio, objects, etc) - kissing was/is not under that umbrella. Again, statutes have changed A LOT in the last 5-10yrs to change or expand the definition of "sexual acts," but it would likely still be a very gray area if a prosecutor decided to pursue it - back then at least
I’ve noticed that people who are friends with abusers and know they’re abusers are also doing the same shit behind closed doors, abuse shall never be excused!
"Just show the messages." Sometimes we can't do that because we're embarrassed or afraid. I love this video because it seems like you have a level head on you, but I wholeheartedly believe everything the Casey and Bridgett said.
Every single person in recovery for alcohol, drugs or some other addiction does exactly what she is talking about doing. Its called "Making ammends". And its a requirement that everyone HAS to do in order to complete the 12 steps.
It is a formerly self consumed person to take accountability for their past atrocious behaviors and give those they have harmed a genuine ammends.
Not an apology, apologies are worthless, an ammends says "im here, showing remorse, let me know how what i can do to help make you whole moving forward.
Addicts/Alchies are notoriously avoidant to their responsibilities and try and sidestep any and all accountability.
When you "Make a list of those we have harmed" it is then our assignment to put forth honest effort to make ammends to each person IN person if they so choose.
Some will tell us to fuck off and that is a reasonable response, we take it on the chin and understand we created the hurt the person is now displaying back to us. We earned it, so we accept it.
So the list of people to apologize to is a very common practice in the recovery community. 🌷
did she say ALMOST 15???? ALMOST 15??????
i’m so glad to hear someone talking about this!! maybe i just live under a rock, but unfortunately i haven’t seen much about it other than on tiktok
I dont understand how people can refuse to see the main problem here. Yes, 19 is young, but 15/16 is execeptionally younger and less developed mentally and physically. How do they not understand that it's wrong? They either have to jump through hoops to justify themself or they do understand and dont care. Either way it's horrid.
Edit: nice radiohead ref
context of the time is also important. it was extremely common for freshmen to date seniors and it's pretty much that. when as t the time society sees it as normal it's almost pathological
@@FluffyMarsuAlso, am I mistaken or did they only kiss? If that’s all they did I don’t understand what the big deal is
@@dasani.like.the.water. no, not really. it's really being blown out of proportion compared to most other scandals of this nature. I mean we literally had that Roblox weirdo try to kidnap that 16 yo...john shedletskey I believe
Times change. Society changes. What was normal becomes not normal. For a while there it was pretty common and normal to see mid-teens dating high-teens (15/16 x 18/19). It was just beginning to be more common for parents to make "You can't date someone if one of you is underage" rules. Meaning if their kid OR the kid they want to date will be under 18 while the other kid was over 18 they weren't allowed to date. Not all parents did that. From what I remember with my friend group and the band/orchestra it would have been around 25% of the student body for >my< graduating class that had parents with rules like that. The rest of them didn't bat an eye at such relationships and usually were confused when the few of us said "No, you are/ I am under age. Can't happen." It most often came up in situations where Kid A is 16 going on 17 and Kid B is 17 going on 18. Then the parents would suddenly pay attention and go "this relationship has to end because now it's inappropriate."
I remember getting "the talk" from my parents about the age gap and being forbidden from dating ANYONE more than a year older than me, period. My brothers got "the talk" and their rule was they couldn't date higher or lower by more than 2 years and if they dated lower the parents had to consent. So I got to witness my parents + my brothers potential GF's parents discussing my brother and his potential GF's permission to date. When I talked to friends about it more than half of them were shocked such a conversation had happened and said their parents didn't care "as long as you're both in HS"
which is a real problem because sometimes students can be as old as 22 in HS, depending on their situation.
@@Samhwain you said it was better than I did lmao I was sleep deprived and just trying to make it short and sweet, but you definitely explain it fully and much better than I did good job lmfao
NO WAY. Seriously? I found her to be so comforting oh my GODS.
Fucking christ. I loved Mercury's content. Her positivity was so refreshing and to find out that she is a fucking predator just breaks my heart. I hope the victims find peace and healing.
ugh this is so upsetting... i really liked her content. that clip was disgusting. completely innocent trans people will be accused of awful stuff because of people like this. so much for dedicating your life to helping people.
maybe because every week a new male trans influencer is outted as a disgusting child predator, ever think of that? they try to convince kids their parents hate them and want them to die of transphobia and then end up being a predator and you're upset that parents don't want their kids around that shit?
Eek. I'm pretty sure getting cheated on with 3 people age 15 or even age 18 is more damaging than having a nice relationship with a caring person age 15.
So many ppl have PTSD from cheating it's proven. I do still 3 years later (it was done in the worst way imaginable). If people really care about traumatising others then they should probably care about cheating a little bit more.
This shit just hurts man ..... I had no idea about any of this. As a trans man I was so excited to see an openly trans creator with such interesting content. I fucking despise people who just give us a worse reputation than we already have. It's awful. Thank you for bringing light to this
This is the first time somebody I actually liked was exposed as a weirdo, it just makes me so sad that this just tells conservatives that transpeople are more likely to be pedos, first Ava Kris Tyson, now Mercury Stardust. Which is probably one of the worse-r things to come from this situation.
I don't think Ava was the first ...
@ first one with any kind of publicity Tbf
As a queer trans person who is in the burlesque sphere...... This not only shocking but honestly disgusting. The first rule of Burlesque is CONSENT. ENTERTAINERS, AUDIENCE, CREW.... EVERYONE MUST CONSENT or it doesn't happen. Disheartening to hear but I'm glad it's coming out.
Now if only the rest of us in the LGBTQIA2S + community didn't have to face the consequences and treatment people like this deserve INSTEAD OF THEM......
The fake upset quivering voice people put on in apology videos grosses me out.
Like, you look and sound insincere AF.
And then giving an excuse of, "I was going through whatever whatever and that's why I acted like that.".
You can't put an excuse with your apology, it just erases the "apology".
Gtfo. 😒
WAIT MY BIRTHDAY IS NOVEMBER 18th TOO!! I’ll be 19 🎉🥳 wishing you get to 100k by then!
HAPPY EARLY BDAY 🎉🎉🎉🎉
ill be back to say happy birthday !!!
Aw Ty! 😊
My birthday is also november eighteenth.I'll be twenty one this year
Mine is the 17!
Can this stop happening. I’m fucking tired and angry and I’m worried how this is going to affect the queer community because I KNOW some shitheads are gonna pretend this is all of us and I’m so fucking pissed for the victims.
In Wisconsin, where you said she’s from, the age of consent is 18 with no jack and Jill law so she was doing something illegal.
Good thing I love her content. Now, I'm equipped with the skills to build me a decent off-grid shelter somewhere faaaaaaaar away from civilization so I DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS FUCKERY AGAIN.
Y'know how people say "never meet your idols?" I propose an addendum. Just... don't fucking HAVE idols. Full stop. 💀
Everytime I think "oh it happened so long ago I can forgive her" I have to remind myself it was a minor. 19 and 15 is insane. At 19 I wouldn't have done that. Why would you date a child???
14:13 I think that meeting with someone that you’ve wronged can be a really powerful experience. I had someone who did me extremely dirty offer to meet up with me and I was fence sitting for a while, but I ended up agreeing. He made all the effort to meet me (driving over two hours) and I think I grew as a person from that experience. The apology was very sincere and meaningful for me. BUT I didn’t have to say yes, and I like that you pointed that out.
i started audibly screaming "NOONINONOO" 😭😭
God anyone who compares themselves to mr.rogers should be an immediate red flag
Istg they’re always ruining the trans image
it’s so disappointing
I can empathize with you all as someone who is not Trans, I do apologize that the trans community is dealing with massive problems including public opinion
@@emvy-piss Like ik i’m going be seen as a groomer now..
@@lemonbutternoodles arrogant people in an echo chamber will never understand a simple thing....ONE'S ACTIONS, makes a person good or bad
@@lemonbutternoodlesit absolutely sucks :((((
As a ___, I'm upset
I'm ___ and this angers me
This should upset and offend you no matter who and how you boink
I loved your last video! I'd honestly love to sit and just listen to you talk about Egyptian history. Thank you for making videos that help me get through long work days I appreciate it bro.
This is yet another reason I keep all people at a distance… can’t trust em without some kind of conditional reasoning.
I'm unsure if Mercury went through a 12-step program to recover from her alcoholism but if she did I think it would explain the "I need to apologize to everyone for everything" mentality. Making amends is one of the steps.
10:30 this is why i love your channel my dude, "I'M JUST THINKING, THINK ABOUT IT" is something i have to say frequently 😂