I hope no one thinks too terribly of me. My daughter is in foster care right now because she was living with her dad and he decided not to pay his rent and not tell me and decided to live in his car! I am working with DCF in my state too get my daughter back with me but there's some things I have to do to get her back living with me they are very kind and the Foster placement she has are very nice. This helps me a lot to understand what she's dealing with and where she is it helps me so so much thank you for doing these videos!
Ach, reading about your situation made tears roll down my face. I cannot speak for others, but there is definitely no judgment from me. It must have been so hard and scary to know your kiddo was living in a car! I sm oraying for you and your daughter. Praying she is returned to your care as swiftly as possible. I'm also thanking Him for giving your daughter a secure foster home in this season of life.
@@TeeTee-gr4ir thank you so much! It has been a rollercoaster. But at least now I know where she is her dad too off with her for over a year did not know where she was! She will be coming back to live with me we have court the 22nd!
I love how you reiterated that when you open your home to a child in foster care, you open your FAMILY. You’re not simply providing a roof and a bed for that child, you should be opening your heart and family and loving that child as you would your own. In my opinion, foster care should not be just a job or an occupation. Love your channel, it’s great to see you back!
As someone who’s adopted and works with kids who are in the foster care system, there’s so much to it that most people don’t realize. Thank you for sharing your videos and bringing a positive light to foster care.
I just want to share that sometimes as a foster parent, you can give everything you have and be the support your child needs and the child just won't choose you and your family. It isn't anything you've done wrong. Sometimes a child is blinded by their trauma and they just can't see how much you love them. The limitting beliefs they have can keep them out of reach and there isnt anything you can say or do to change that.
I'm sorry you lost your foster daughter. I can't imagine the emotional stress. You're a great family for these kiddos. I do hope you enjoy the holidays. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
We have 2 little girls right now 4&5. They have been with us since the end of August. They are 2 of 5 sisters so the goal was for them to be placed together and they have finally found a relative that can take all 5. I wish we could’ve taken all 5 but we are only certified for 3 kids due to size of our home. The girls will be moving out in January and I’m having a hard time with it.
you and john are amazing people! we are doing the foster care to adoption . I try to watch your videos every time that u make them because they help us
So glad to hear from you Whitney, and sending well wishes to you and the family. Love that you’re always on a quest to grow and improve and share what you’ve learned along the way. We appreciate you :)
I watch your videos now for some time and I can tell if I had a placement like your Family is my life would be much better your are a Mum who care you look from different kind of direction you understand the way the kids feel like in some situations like that and I'm very grateful that people like you and your family do for other kids ❤ Thank you so much for doing that
So wonderful to see you. Thank you for sharing your personal journey. Glad to hear this new agency was a great support all around. I hope everyone is well. Happy Happy Holidays 😇👍💕!!!!
It's good to hear from you guys. I appreciate the respect given toward foster placements and their situations but these videos always leave me with so many questions I know you guys can't answer. I love learning from you guys but it can be hard without much context for real world scenarios and when you only have so many placements so far it can be nearly impossible to discuss general behaviors without it being known which foster you're talking about. I've been around since the beginning so maybe some years down the line you'll be able to talk about challenges and how to support kiddos with higher needs in future videos. Have you considered talking to adults who were previously foster kiddos to be able to discuss situations and their experiences/ what helped? Similar to the interview video with Brittany Burcham? Happy to hear you feel very supported in your current county, I know that can be a huge struggle in such a complicated and overburdened system.
You are right on the money :) As time goes on and more kiddos come and go we will be able to speak in more generalized terms. I do plan on doing more interviews and even pitched a podcast idea to Brittany for us to do together... stay tuned
Commenting before watching. We just lost a sibling placement because dss goofed and we were one kiddo over our age ratio limit. They didn’t catch this “mistake” for a while and attachments were formed on both sides. 😢
We just had this happen. Our foster child of 2 years is not coming back after a hospitalization. Apparently we’re the bad guys. We’ve been begging for help for 2 years. And we have tried so hard. And it just sucks to now feel like we’re the “bad guys”
Good point. Makes sense those also happen. As a toddler I was in (shadow) kinship myself for a few months because my mother had a major health issue. Makes sense that also happens to foster parents now and then. I hope the mom you know has a good recovery and the children are doing well in their new place.
I can’t imagine losing my foster child who is like my own child now. Ours is a long term permanent placement. I don’t know how you do it. You do become attached.
I wanted to be a foster parent but I have birth trauma of a newborn being taken from me. Kind of recovered but the abruptness and instability keeps me from doing it. . .I wish I could.
You could consider doing respite foster care only where you take kids for a designated amount of time and you know ahead of time when they’re coming and when they’re leaving. Usually you meet the kids ahead of time also. This would take out a lot of the instability because kids needing a respite placement have usually been in foster care long enough that you’d know if they have behaviors to manage and things like that.
I've had my granddaughter since birth they are returning her to her dad even with all her problems she has seeing him I don't know how to handle all the emotions
And like for punishment like whenever we did something bad like she would make us stand in the door frame with our hands up by our sides like and she'll put a book on each hand and we had to hold our leg up each leg for 1 hour so that's 2 hours we had to hold our arms up with a book in them and also she would make us do like push-ups or something you know it was like cuz at one point she was she was a correctional officer at a boot camp for kids and she also worked at the King county jail she was a correctional officer at the King county jail
How long do you often take between placements? I would assume this looks different for different situations. How do you know you're ready for the next one? Our 16.5 yo moved today for her adoptive home (she's very excited...it's a fantastic situation) and she's been with us 27 months. Not sure how long of a break we need, but we definitely need one! Thank you for sharing :)
But to make a long story short she ended up losing her license because of two people who decided to lie on her and I'm wondering what can I do to make it so she gets her license back because I know they were lying and it's like if the CPS worker can't see that they were lying they got issues in problems
I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how the channel “Now I am Known” can show his foster children (they wear sunglasses but are otherwise on camera), while your community wouldn’t allow this at all. Is it just a difference in local policies/laws?
I honestly thought he was adopting the kids so Ithoughtthis seems fine, very surprised that their just foster kids, seem to be very different rules. He seems like a great foster father with heart in the right place but I'm personally not comfortable at all with someone showing kids that are not theirs. Okay maybe he wants to adopt the kids but shouldnt you have to be sure first?
Depends on a lot of things including the licence, but yes it can happen. If you are interested in that it is a good thing to communicate with your agency. Never let it get in the way of reunification though when that is still an option for the child(ren).
Yes, however; family relatives get chosen as ideal and if the kids have siblings adopted elsewhere then they get asked before you would. But it depends on what is best for the child. Sometimes bio family gets to have their say of who they want the child to go to.
And her home was the best it's like she owned her house everything you know she was a correctional officer a retired correctional officer and for this young boy in this young girl that she invited into her house in the young girl had a child with her at that and for them to lie on her just so they could get paid money off of them soon the state is really messed up that she lost her license because of them
Did I say reunification? I'm very clear not to share what the result or goal of a placement is. The best way to be a member of the village, do not assume.
Okay my foster mother wasn't nice sweet woman she took us to church every Sunday. She even took me to Disneyland and a whole bunch of other places where I have fun she was paying money out of her pocket for me to go to a private school which is the state wouldn't allow that but she didn't anyway so I can have a better education and she ended up taking it a boy and a girl The boy and a girl in the liking each other so they ended up having a sexual relationship with each other My foster mom caught them and she wasn't having it she wasn't allowing it so she told them that one of them is going to have to go back to CPS and CPS is going to have to find them a new home and also let me put this in a girl who she took in had a child with her so my foster mom being her she took in the girl in her child but because of this boy and this girl they both decided to run away together and they lied on my foster mom because my foster mom was not giving that girl her baby her infant baby to run the streets with so they came up with a scheme to lie on her and Sue DSHS for money which is they ended up doing this saying that my foster mom was touching on them sexually when my mother would never do that my foster mother would never do that she went to church every Sunday during the weekdays we will go to church activities and everything you know we did godly things so they ended up getting her license taken from her off of their lies I would like to know what can I do to help her get her license back and oh let me also throw this in there I ended up running into the boy and the girl downtown Seattle one day but I was already out my out of the home by then so when I ran into him they was telling me how they have been in the system and they're in the system and they ran away it or so in love with each other and it was like this b**** took her baby and she wants her baby back and all this so they're about to get some money and it was asking me do I want to be down with this with them to get some money since I was in the system cuz you know I it was just a friend of mine pointed him out was like hey you was in foster care go talk to these little foster kids so as I'm talking to him come to find out the woman who they wanted to bring up these false allegations on was my foster mother the same woman who took me into her loving house did so many things for me things that my own parents and family wouldn't do like I remember one time my family went to Disneyland and all that I didn't go with them you know what I'm saying but when I went to foster care I went to Disneyland and all that with them and she was wanting to adopt me and everything and she did end up adopting adopting me and also let me remind you she was paying cash money out of her pocket for me to go to a private school because the state wouldn't pay for it and this boy in this girl chose to lie on her what can I do to make it so she gets her license back and I also know that if I do end up letting the state and everything know this that that boy in that girl could be prosecuted to the fullest because they lied just to get money from the state and they told me that they self
I hope no one thinks too terribly of me. My daughter is in foster care right now because she was living with her dad and he decided not to pay his rent and not tell me and decided to live in his car! I am working with DCF in my state too get my daughter back with me but there's some things I have to do to get her back living with me they are very kind and the Foster placement she has are very nice. This helps me a lot to understand what she's dealing with and where she is it helps me so so much thank you for doing these videos!
Praying for you and your daughter and that the process goes smoothly for you
Wishing you and your daughter all the best in your journey back to living together
So far evening is going smoothly. The caseworker is an amazing lady who guess above and beyond.
Ach, reading about your situation made tears roll down my face. I cannot speak for others, but there is definitely no judgment from me. It must have been so hard and scary to know your kiddo was living in a car! I sm oraying for you and your daughter. Praying she is returned to your care as swiftly as possible. I'm also thanking Him for giving your daughter a secure foster home in this season of life.
@@TeeTee-gr4ir thank you so much! It has been a rollercoaster. But at least now I know where she is her dad too off with her for over a year did not know where she was! She will be coming back to live with me we have court the 22nd!
I love how you reiterated that when you open your home to a child in foster care, you open your FAMILY. You’re not simply providing a roof and a bed for that child, you should be opening your heart and family and loving that child as you would your own. In my opinion, foster care should not be just a job or an occupation. Love your channel, it’s great to see you back!
As someone who’s adopted and works with kids who are in the foster care system, there’s so much to it that most people don’t realize. Thank you for sharing your videos and bringing a positive light to foster care.
You and John are amazing people! I wish you two and your family nothing but blessings!
I just want to share that sometimes as a foster parent, you can give everything you have and be the support your child needs and the child just won't choose you and your family. It isn't anything you've done wrong. Sometimes a child is blinded by their trauma and they just can't see how much you love them. The limitting beliefs they have can keep them out of reach and there isnt anything you can say or do to change that.
I'm sorry you lost your foster daughter. I can't imagine the emotional stress. You're a great family for these kiddos. I do hope you enjoy the holidays. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
We have 2 little girls right now 4&5. They have been with us since the end of August. They are 2 of 5 sisters so the goal was for them to be placed together and they have finally found a relative that can take all 5. I wish we could’ve taken all 5 but we are only certified for 3 kids due to size of our home. The girls will be moving out in January and I’m having a hard time with it.
I hope the kids are adjusting to their new placement with all of their siblings. It must be so hard to deal with all of those emotions.
you and john are amazing people! we are doing the foster care to adoption . I try to watch your videos every time that u make them because they help us
So glad to hear from you Whitney, and sending well wishes to you and the family. Love that you’re always on a quest to grow and improve and share what you’ve learned along the way. We appreciate you :)
This was great info for a future foster mom! Thanks Whit! 😊
I watch your videos now for some time and I can tell if I had a placement like your Family is my life would be much better your are a Mum who care you look from different kind of direction you understand the way the kids feel like in some situations like that and I'm very grateful that people like you and your family do for other kids ❤
Thank you so much for doing that
Hey so happy to see you hope you are all well
Hey! Glad to be back
So wonderful to see you. Thank you for sharing your personal journey. Glad to hear this new agency was a great support all around. I hope everyone is well. Happy Happy Holidays 😇👍💕!!!!
It is great to see you again
It's good to hear from you guys. I appreciate the respect given toward foster placements and their situations but these videos always leave me with so many questions I know you guys can't answer. I love learning from you guys but it can be hard without much context for real world scenarios and when you only have so many placements so far it can be nearly impossible to discuss general behaviors without it being known which foster you're talking about. I've been around since the beginning so maybe some years down the line you'll be able to talk about challenges and how to support kiddos with higher needs in future videos.
Have you considered talking to adults who were previously foster kiddos to be able to discuss situations and their experiences/ what helped? Similar to the interview video with Brittany Burcham?
Happy to hear you feel very supported in your current county, I know that can be a huge struggle in such a complicated and overburdened system.
You are right on the money :) As time goes on and more kiddos come and go we will be able to speak in more generalized terms. I do plan on doing more interviews and even pitched a podcast idea to Brittany for us to do together... stay tuned
@@BeTheVillageCommunity As someone who is not a foster parent, or a parent at all, I would ABSOLUTELY listen to a podcast with you and Brittany!!
Commenting before watching. We just lost a sibling placement because dss goofed and we were one kiddo over our age ratio limit. They didn’t catch this “mistake” for a while and attachments were formed on both sides. 😢
We just had this happen. Our foster child of 2 years is not coming back after a hospitalization. Apparently we’re the bad guys. We’ve been begging for help for 2 years. And we have tried so hard. And it just sucks to now feel like we’re the “bad guys”
I agree that the shorter placements are harder to say goodbye to.
I was in a foster home while my mom had surgery and got better a little bit many years ago I remember there kids not treating me well
so proud of you guys
A family I know who does foster care needed to disrupt a placement because of a short term but major health issue in the mom.
Good point. Makes sense those also happen. As a toddler I was in (shadow) kinship myself for a few months because my mother had a major health issue. Makes sense that also happens to foster parents now and then. I hope the mom you know has a good recovery and the children are doing well in their new place.
I totally agree on the short term vs long
Your eyes are so pretty in this video.
Does Brittney not have a UA-cam channel?? Also I missed you!!! I'm sorry for your loss. Its always an expected one but it doesn't hit any lighter. ❤️
Thank you for sharing 💛❤️🩹💛
I can’t imagine losing my foster child who is like my own child now. Ours is a long term permanent placement. I don’t know how you do it. You do become attached.
I’ll be honest, that’s a scary statement to say. Especially if reunification is the case plan.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity There is no prospect for reunification. That's why it's always been a permanent placement.
thanks
I wanted to be a foster parent but I have birth trauma of a newborn being taken from me. Kind of recovered but the abruptness and instability keeps me from doing it. . .I wish I could.
You could consider doing respite foster care only where you take kids for a designated amount of time and you know ahead of time when they’re coming and when they’re leaving. Usually you meet the kids ahead of time also. This would take out a lot of the instability because kids needing a respite placement have usually been in foster care long enough that you’d know if they have behaviors to manage and things like that.
I've had my granddaughter since birth they are returning her to her dad even with all her problems she has seeing him I don't know how to handle all the emotions
And like for punishment like whenever we did something bad like she would make us stand in the door frame with our hands up by our sides like and she'll put a book on each hand and we had to hold our leg up each leg for 1 hour so that's 2 hours we had to hold our arms up with a book in them and also she would make us do like push-ups or something you know it was like cuz at one point she was she was a correctional officer at a boot camp for kids and she also worked at the King county jail she was a correctional officer at the King county jail
How long do you often take between placements? I would assume this looks different for different situations. How do you know you're ready for the next one? Our 16.5 yo moved today for her adoptive home (she's very excited...it's a fantastic situation) and she's been with us 27 months. Not sure how long of a break we need, but we definitely need one! Thank you for sharing :)
Side note, you are gorgeous! Wow
But to make a long story short she ended up losing her license because of two people who decided to lie on her and I'm wondering what can I do to make it so she gets her license back because I know they were lying and it's like if the CPS worker can't see that they were lying they got issues in problems
I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how the channel “Now I am Known” can show his foster children (they wear sunglasses but are otherwise on camera), while your community wouldn’t allow this at all. Is it just a difference in local policies/laws?
It's just dependent on each state/agency I suppose. Other channels don't even have them wear sunglasses.
I honestly thought he was adopting the kids so Ithoughtthis seems fine, very surprised that their just foster kids, seem to be very different rules. He seems like a great foster father with heart in the right place but I'm personally not comfortable at all with someone showing kids that are not theirs. Okay maybe he wants to adopt the kids but shouldnt you have to be sure first?
How come you don’t vlog anymore or as much
Are you allowed to adopt fosters that can’t return home?
I do believe there license was only foster at this time
Depends on a lot of things including the licence, but yes it can happen. If you are interested in that it is a good thing to communicate with your agency. Never let it get in the way of reunification though when that is still an option for the child(ren).
Yes, however; family relatives get chosen as ideal and if the kids have siblings adopted elsewhere then they get asked before you would. But it depends on what is best for the child. Sometimes bio family gets to have their say of who they want the child to go to.
So did she disrupt?
We did not disrupt
And also yes she was not getting paid for taking care of me or them and for them to do this and lie on her is like it just it inferiorates me
And her home was the best it's like she owned her house everything you know she was a correctional officer a retired correctional officer and for this young boy in this young girl that she invited into her house in the young girl had a child with her at that and for them to lie on her just so they could get paid money off of them soon the state is really messed up that she lost her license because of them
❤
💜💜💜
Why hard?
Isn’t the point reunification? U invest urself for that purpose.
I would be rejoicing
But that’s me
Did I say reunification? I'm very clear not to share what the result or goal of a placement is. The best way to be a member of the village, do not assume.
A child could also be leaving because your family feels like it's not a good fit and you turn in a 30 day notice..
Thank you for clarifying that!
Okay my foster mother wasn't nice sweet woman she took us to church every Sunday. She even took me to Disneyland and a whole bunch of other places where I have fun she was paying money out of her pocket for me to go to a private school which is the state wouldn't allow that but she didn't anyway so I can have a better education and she ended up taking it a boy and a girl The boy and a girl in the liking each other so they ended up having a sexual relationship with each other My foster mom caught them and she wasn't having it she wasn't allowing it so she told them that one of them is going to have to go back to CPS and CPS is going to have to find them a new home and also let me put this in a girl who she took in had a child with her so my foster mom being her she took in the girl in her child but because of this boy and this girl they both decided to run away together and they lied on my foster mom because my foster mom was not giving that girl her baby her infant baby to run the streets with so they came up with a scheme to lie on her and Sue DSHS for money which is they ended up doing this saying that my foster mom was touching on them sexually when my mother would never do that my foster mother would never do that she went to church every Sunday during the weekdays we will go to church activities and everything you know we did godly things so they ended up getting her license taken from her off of their lies I would like to know what can I do to help her get her license back and oh let me also throw this in there I ended up running into the boy and the girl downtown Seattle one day but I was already out my out of the home by then so when I ran into him they was telling me how they have been in the system and they're in the system and they ran away it or so in love with each other and it was like this b**** took her baby and she wants her baby back and all this so they're about to get some money and it was asking me do I want to be down with this with them to get some money since I was in the system cuz you know I it was just a friend of mine pointed him out was like hey you was in foster care go talk to these little foster kids so as I'm talking to him come to find out the woman who they wanted to bring up these false allegations on was my foster mother the same woman who took me into her loving house did so many things for me things that my own parents and family wouldn't do like I remember one time my family went to Disneyland and all that I didn't go with them you know what I'm saying but when I went to foster care I went to Disneyland and all that with them and she was wanting to adopt me and everything and she did end up adopting adopting me and also let me remind you she was paying cash money out of her pocket for me to go to a private school because the state wouldn't pay for it and this boy in this girl chose to lie on her what can I do to make it so she gets her license back and I also know that if I do end up letting the state and everything know this that that boy in that girl could be prosecuted to the fullest because they lied just to get money from the state and they told me that they self