I always appreciate experts who are blunt and honest. "If trauma is the fact that you were abused as a child, you will never be a person who wasn't abused as a child." It's so true!!! Too often people want to escape this reality by believing "it's not part of my identity". Hello? It is! It just doesn't have to be your whole identity and that's the point! ❤ - Kellie Becker, trauma survivor
Yes. And when I learned to accept and be grateful for all of the traumatic, hurtful abuses, etc which occurred in my life, I not only became the person I wanted to be, but I learned how to be a happy and peaceful person.
The external is unchangeable but the internal experience CAN change. We aren't stuck with our trauma and it can be healed. Such a powerful insight... thank you for sharing this video.
Trauma Is Not What Happens to You, It Is What Happens Inside You - it hits me so deeply, and after deeply understanding this meaning, I recognise that I`m in the present now with all my emotions as my own. Such a relief !!!
True, but not everyone can achieve this😢he never speaks of extreme cases. How about when parents lock their children in the closet and deprive them of food. Do you think this can be reframed?
@@robynhope219 How about, what they did to you had nothing to do with you and you didn't deserve it. What they did to you was horrible and can't be undone, but you are not going to let it destroy all aspects of your life. You survived and are safe in this moment.
@@tiarica269 Thank u for your kind words...I am old already, but my life has not been good...my childhood traumas had a huge influence on physical and mental health. ☹️
Yes, what happened in time cannot be undone. It's the way it affected me as a child, and was reinforced by some repetitions of the original pattern of abandonment, that was instilled in me -- that feeling of being unimportant, worthless, unlovable., and so on. In fact I learned how to induce abandonment by my own attachment to being unlovable and worthless. It was familiar, if unpleasant. There can be, and is recovery form that pattern once recognized. And it takes guts to recognise it., first of all, and then to make changes--gradually, one step at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time, sometimes. Thank you Dr, Mate for explaining this so well from your own experience.
It's wonderful good news to know that trauma an be reversed once you see it as an inner reaction to outer circumstances. and THAT can be changed! It's really is up to us! But no one says this is easy, and it needs time, and the embracing of that hurt child within. It had to become my life work but the rewards are so worth it!!! I am so grateful to all who work in this field, but most especially to you, Dr Mate.
I don't think it's up to us! If u don't get the help u need especially very early...it messes u up for a LONG time! I suffered for DECADES Before I basically FORCED to SHUT life down! PUT MY CANCEROUS PAIN/ TRAUMA ... FIRST...and get SOME HELP...IN ORDER TO BE ... ALIVE TODAY! THAT TRAUMA WAS SO DAMAGING TO ME...MY LIFE...MY INSIDES... FOR 55 years... BEFORE getting the help so I can still be here today! Help and support was NOT AVAILABLE TO ME UNTIL 55 YEARS OLD! THAT LENGTH OF PAIN AND TRAUMA...HAVE ME/MY BODY FEELING... LITERALLY...DEAD...TODAY!!! BUT YES...I DO HAVE A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE NOW WITH REGARDS TO that CHILDHOOD TRAUMA...COZ OF THE HELP i GOT TEN YEARS AGO! NO MATTER WHERE I GO AND WAT I DO in life ... THIS... BROKENNESS...LIVES IN ME!!!
I have tremendous respect for you, Dr Mate--your courage and your clarity. I wish I had known you and the work you do, a long time ago--but there is a time and a season for our awakening, isn't there? Thank you for honoring your being as you do--it's the most beautiful example of what's available to us all when we wake up. Thank you!
We have to shift our perception of the event that occurred. It isn't the event or experience that creates the trauma response it is our perception, our emotion and thought that we attach to that particular event
For the longest time I didn't know how to feel about my abusive parents. Are they to blame or not? Were they aware, or not? Then I came across The Biology of Belief. Bruce Lipton said that one is responsible for everything in one's life, once one becomes AWARE one is responsible. One cannot be guilty or blamed for being a lousy parent, unless one was already AWARE of the above, and disregarded it. When AWARE, one can reprogram our behavior. Again, bad parental behavior with no awareness or understanding of implications for that behavior is blameless. Ok, but still, something missing for me. How could my parents NOT have been aware they brutalized me the first 16 yrs of my life??? That remains unanswered.😢
When you don't receive justice for what has been done to you, in my opinion, it is trauma. In the case of the girl who was psychologically tortured for years, the fact that he hadn't been charged severely harmed her. When the guy's life was destroyed, she began to recover. We hardly discuss this because it is unethical, but it is the treatment for many types of PTSD.
six years ago at top of pyramid of trare uma recovery i was induce mortal wounds and a reversing game. I was an experience expert on trauma and abuse and my brain and mind went into a survival means and then i began asking for help because my means to heal were removed. I was not igiven trauma informced care and began to suffer torture from being induce CPTSD and witness a master work of 24 years of recover wiped out. my family were put back in as part of this game so they could get even and do the job.. in six years without means to protect my soul mind adn brain from toxic society i was turn to trash. My life my mind my health were turn to garbage and despite i kow what i needed because of a family who wanted me to be mentally ill not prevent it. I was turn into what they wanted not who i was. my sister is the root of al evil in world and brought the familywho have not faced themself they feel they can just do damage go along like that and not correct and you suffer. i removed them and it was 24 y ears of heaven. resntful competetive jealous. i had to die.. and they did the job i have cancer now and wont survive.
This guy is alright but he likes to criticize other people. I have noticed that. I will give him credit for trying to help others, He criticizes the right and libertarians but never the left. After to listening to people like Haidt, Pinker. Jordan Peterson and others I have a much wider and more substantial understanding than he does. After listening to Steven Hicks I have learned the issues well enough to not be intimidated by these ''experts'' and feel afraid to question them. There are holes in his thinking and he has his own flaws.
Being socially right wing means you are against change in society. There is plenty to criticize about. How could anyone criticize the left for in an earnest manner? I've got friends who can do it but I'd like to hear your input on that question.
Is it really such effort to smile? Once? He gives the impression he did not make good job on himself. His depression face teally turns me away. We all have traumas, but deal with it. My moms family also suffered losses in hitlers camps, but we dont feel like victims, but as the ones who survived and have chance to be happy. He if pathetic amd overdramatized. Smile, man, be kind, hug, talk, laugh...
With all respect! You should check out who he is, what is he standing for, please stop judging him after this shortcut. I hope you will understand how pathetic, judging and negativ your comment is. Sorry, i got really upset over how judging you are, without knowing his work, life, his bakground. He is a trully an amazing man, not a wictim, and he has used his whole life to help people out of traumas, addiction and more! I hope really that you look up Mate Gabor, please play attantion what he is saying, not how he looks, how he talks, and what you think about him. When you do your research, im sure that you're gonna be surprised! ❤️
Dear Jarmila not everybody smile and laugh hug as you imagine .It is your interpretation that he has depression on his face. An intelligent, knowledgeable and educated man never turns me away ,he is someone who thinks differently and courageous to spread his insights about heavy stuff.
Do you usually season your foot before you put it in your mouth, or do you normally just go straight for the uvula? Your comment is distasteful and frankly showcases your ignorance for who Dr. Mate is. Get over yourself, respectfully
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I always appreciate experts who are blunt and honest. "If trauma is the fact that you were abused as a child, you will never be a person who wasn't abused as a child." It's so true!!! Too often people want to escape this reality by believing "it's not part of my identity". Hello? It is! It just doesn't have to be your whole identity and that's the point! ❤ - Kellie Becker, trauma survivor
Yes. And when I learned to accept and be grateful for all of the traumatic, hurtful abuses, etc which occurred in my life, I not only became the person I wanted to be, but I learned how to be a happy and peaceful person.
Yes & when I came to the realization that sooner or later "Trauma" real or imagined happens to everyone I stopped feeling like a special victim.
@@vnrkain1169 wow so amazing yes! Happiness is great right but reaching peacefulness - it’s like enlightenment! I celebrate you! 🎉
@@airmark02 stepping out of victimhood is tough work but necessary, proud of you!! 🎉❤️
I forget my trauma and try to move on and have a happy life.
He has a beautiful understanding voice.
His tone... demeanor tells me he's been thru a lot🙌
The external is unchangeable but the internal experience CAN change. We aren't stuck with our trauma and it can be healed. Such a powerful insight... thank you for sharing this video.
I do hope that some people can be healed but I cannot. I am cursed for the rest of my life because of my experiences.
@@robynhope219 - I've tried many times and many things to no avail.
@@nanoeventdon't take it out on urself...not ur fault ur abused.
That would depend on how severe the abuse. If ur locked up for ten yrs as a child, ur not likely to overcome the trauma.
Trauma Is Not What Happens to You, It Is What Happens Inside You - it hits me so deeply, and after deeply understanding this meaning, I recognise that I`m in the present now with all my emotions as my own.
Such a relief !!!
I really appreciate this insight. A historic experience can’t be changed…but one can reframe the way one thinks and feels about that experience.
True, but not everyone can achieve this😢he never speaks of extreme cases. How about when parents lock their children in the closet and deprive them of food. Do you think this can be reframed?
@@robynhope219 How about, what they did to you had nothing to do with you and you didn't deserve it. What they did to you was horrible and can't be undone, but you are not going to let it destroy all aspects of your life. You survived and are safe in this moment.
@@tiarica269 Thank u for your kind words...I am old already, but my life has not been good...my childhood traumas had a huge influence on physical and mental health. ☹️
Yes, what happened in time cannot be undone. It's the way it affected me as a child, and was reinforced by some repetitions of the original pattern of abandonment, that was instilled in me -- that feeling of being unimportant, worthless, unlovable., and so on. In fact I learned how to induce abandonment by my own attachment to being unlovable and worthless. It was familiar, if unpleasant. There can be, and is recovery form that pattern once recognized. And it takes guts to recognise it., first of all, and then to make changes--gradually, one step at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time, sometimes. Thank you Dr, Mate for explaining this so well from your own experience.
It's wonderful good news to know that trauma an be reversed once you see it as an inner reaction to outer circumstances. and THAT can be changed! It's really is up to us! But no one says this is easy, and it needs time, and the embracing of that hurt child within. It had to become my life work but the rewards are so worth it!!! I am so grateful to all who work in this field, but most especially to you, Dr Mate.
I don't think it's up to us! If u don't get the help u need especially very early...it messes u up for a LONG time! I suffered for DECADES Before I basically FORCED to SHUT life down! PUT MY CANCEROUS PAIN/ TRAUMA ... FIRST...and get SOME HELP...IN ORDER TO BE ... ALIVE TODAY!
THAT TRAUMA WAS SO DAMAGING TO ME...MY LIFE...MY INSIDES... FOR 55 years... BEFORE getting the help so I can still be here today!
Help and support was NOT AVAILABLE TO ME UNTIL 55 YEARS OLD!
THAT LENGTH OF PAIN AND TRAUMA...HAVE ME/MY BODY FEELING... LITERALLY...DEAD...TODAY!!!
BUT YES...I DO HAVE A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE NOW WITH REGARDS TO that CHILDHOOD TRAUMA...COZ OF THE HELP i GOT TEN YEARS AGO!
NO MATTER WHERE I GO AND WAT I DO in life ... THIS... BROKENNESS...LIVES IN ME!!!
I have tremendous respect for you, Dr Mate--your courage and your clarity. I wish I had known you and the work you do, a long time ago--but there is a time and a season for our awakening, isn't there? Thank you for honoring your being as you do--it's the most beautiful example of what's available to us all when we wake up. Thank you!
Very true... dealing with that currently
Very important message of hope!
Very helpful explanation. deep but worth listening to if you're doing the "work"
This is incredibly validating. Thank you!
Thank you, Gabor Mate
That’s what went wrong with my therapy. I tried to become the child who was never abused. I regret I lost 5 years with that wrong doing therapy.
That doesn't add up...how can u pretend to be something ur not🤔
Thanks again
Thank you for sharing
We have to shift our perception of the event that occurred. It isn't the event or experience that creates the trauma response it is our perception, our emotion and thought that we attach to that particular event
NO, IT IS THE EVENT.
For the longest time I didn't know how to feel about my abusive parents. Are they to blame or not? Were they aware, or not? Then I came across The Biology of Belief. Bruce Lipton said that one is responsible for everything in one's life, once one becomes AWARE one is responsible. One cannot be guilty or blamed for being a lousy parent, unless one was already AWARE of the above, and disregarded it. When AWARE, one can reprogram our behavior. Again, bad parental behavior with no awareness or understanding of implications for that behavior is blameless.
Ok, but still, something missing for me. How could my parents NOT have been aware they brutalized me the first 16 yrs of my life??? That remains unanswered.😢
When you don't receive justice for what has been done to you, in my opinion, it is trauma. In the case of the girl who was psychologically tortured for years, the fact that he hadn't been charged severely harmed her. When the guy's life was destroyed, she began to recover. We hardly discuss this because it is unethical, but it is the treatment for many types of PTSD.
six years ago at top of pyramid of trare uma recovery i was induce mortal wounds and a reversing game. I was an experience expert on trauma and abuse and my brain and mind went into a survival means and then i began asking for help because my means to heal were removed. I was not igiven trauma informced care and began to suffer torture from being induce CPTSD and witness a master work of 24 years of recover wiped out. my family were put back in as part of this game so they could get even and do the job.. in six years without means to protect my soul mind adn brain from toxic society i was turn to trash. My life my mind my health were turn to garbage and despite i kow what i needed because of a family who wanted me to be mentally ill not prevent it. I was turn into what they wanted not who i was. my sister is the root of al evil in world and brought the familywho have not faced themself they feel they can just do damage go along like that and not correct and you suffer. i removed them and it was 24 y ears of heaven. resntful competetive jealous. i had to die.. and they did the job i have cancer now and wont survive.
I'm sorry for what you have experienced Jennifer. I know you can do it, don't give up ❤
My life is like unending trauma added to generational trauma 🧬🤕. I question if my drama 🎭 queen hacker is expecting one big dose of karma. I hope so.
i love you Gabor Mat e
How I wish I could really have some time with you
Nonsense play on words...
Michelle Private 24-7
This guy is alright but he likes to criticize other people. I have noticed that. I will give him credit for trying to help others, He criticizes the right and libertarians but never the left. After to listening to people like Haidt, Pinker. Jordan Peterson and others I have a much wider and more substantial understanding than he does. After listening to Steven Hicks I have learned the issues well enough to not be intimidated by these ''experts'' and feel afraid to question them. There are holes in his thinking and he has his own flaws.
Being socially right wing means you are against change in society. There is plenty to criticize about. How could anyone criticize the left for in an earnest manner? I've got friends who can do it but I'd like to hear your input on that question.
What qualifies you? Just because we have access to Google/You Tube doesn’t make us experts.
Thats because libertarians and the right are bad people. They want me dead for existing. You don't give those people the time of day.
Those you mentioned never criticizes the right. So there your logic fell in the drain
Is it really such effort to smile? Once? He gives the impression he did not make good job on himself. His depression face teally turns me away. We all have traumas, but deal with it. My moms family also suffered losses in hitlers camps, but we dont feel like victims, but as the ones who survived and have chance to be happy. He if pathetic amd overdramatized. Smile, man, be kind, hug, talk, laugh...
With all respect! You should check out who he is, what is he standing for, please stop judging him after this shortcut. I hope you will understand how pathetic, judging and negativ your comment is. Sorry, i got really upset over how judging you are, without knowing his work, life, his bakground. He is a trully an amazing man, not a wictim, and he has used his whole life to help people out of traumas, addiction and more! I hope really that you look up Mate Gabor, please play attantion what he is saying, not how he looks, how he talks, and what you think about him. When you do your research, im sure that you're gonna be surprised! ❤️
You do know he is almost 80 years old and that's why his face looks like that. People ages and not everyone has the same attitude.
Sounds like you may have some issues in accepting people as they are. Also a bit of hostility possibly. Where did all that come from?
Dear Jarmila not everybody smile and laugh hug as you imagine .It is your interpretation that he has depression on his face. An intelligent, knowledgeable and educated man never turns me away ,he is someone who thinks differently and courageous to spread his insights about heavy stuff.
Do you usually season your foot before you put it in your mouth, or do you normally just go straight for the uvula?
Your comment is distasteful and frankly showcases your ignorance for who Dr. Mate is.
Get over yourself, respectfully