Sure,as a small child, I practiced freezing when I was in bed at night thinking that if I looked dead already the person would leave me alone. I would hold my breath as long as possible or slow my breathing to try and appear dead. During the day , It was more fight or flight. I suffer from chronic pain issues now and am so grateful for this type of information and progress related to the long term effects of ptsd. My anxiety levels can be crazy, so I isolate a lot and work at being calm, but have never been very successful until learning this , I’m now feeling more confident that I may be able to change . I’m also on the autism spectrum so I tend to misread things a lot, but it seems that I am also often misread because of it, sure is a confusing world. Neuroscience has been so helpful.
Hi, I think we may have grown up with similar trauma. I’ve been looking into how to heal for decades. Lots of therapy, different types of treatments. It got me only so far. I’m my 50s now, & I’ve acquired serious autoimmune disorders. I used to be a research scientist. Biology 🧬. Anyhow, I think I found the person who knows how to reset the vagus nerve so-to-speak. Look up, “Wim Hoff” on UA-cam. There’s real science behind what he’s doing. The techniques he shows on UA-cam are free. You don’t need to go to his center to practice his methods. Btw, I receive zero compensation or benefits from this recommendation. It is the science that got me. I’m certain you’re very bright. Look up his videos, & the science to NS k up his claims, as I did. I’ve just started doing the cold therapy & breathing, & I am rather astonished by how much better I felt almost immediately.. within 72 hrs. I did the recommended beginner’s approach, although I found a cool bath rather than shower to be much more effective for me (as this way I could submerge the entire vagus nerve. I’m so frustrated with western medicine & it’s mental health system. All these years, there were this simple set of techniques/practices, that could’ve helped heal m before I ever got this sick, but I never knew. I hope you’ll try it, after you go your own research, & I hope it helps you. You’re not alone. Hang in there, & give this a good two week trial.
Such an extreme example. It's disheartening to hear your childhood reality but heartening to know that this stuff works. I highly, highly recommend checking out Irene Lyon on UA-cam. She makes the best content on nervous system healing/regulation in my experience.
Pete Walker theorizes that, next to fight/flight/freeze (including fragmentation of memory), there's also fawn. The fawn response would be the one where a person 'plays along' within the traumatic situation. All of these reflexes are driven by primal instint; our nervous system takes control and determines the type of behaviour that will result in the least amount of harm. Fight and flight may not be choosable options, thus the brain resorts to playing dead, or social mimicry. I would argue that freezing is the most debilitating state, while the guilt a victim may feel over having fawn-ed is even harder to process, because it seems that one was, in fact, able to mobilise, but only to the very limited extent cut out by the abuser. Complex trauma survivors will often have a dominant response pattern that their mind has 'trained' because it was the most effective. These responses will automatise until they finally happen in reaction to random 'hair triggers' representative of traumatic cues, and flashbacks can occur in a number of ways other than the "movie clip" kind. Whether your body has trained 'firing up' or 'shutting down' will determine the type of panic/dissociative symptoms you get. Personally, I'm pretty sure that most mood disorders are veiled symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorders.
Very well put. I’m currently reading his “Complex PTSD:From Surviving to Thriving” and shocked to learn that as ‘my personality and my character’ I had called all my life was actually a trauma response! I’m a fawner. The relationship with myself is same as the relationship between myself and my abuser; cursing, yelling, degrading, execrating, criticizing, hating, etc. And there is a minimal ‘me’ in my relationship with others; minimum expression of my needs, wants, desires, choices, decisions, thoughts, ideas, etc. I automatically tune in to others’ needs, wants, choices, well-being, etc. It is a horrible way to live a life. I think most of our physical illnesses are rooted in our childhood as well.
@@sukran96 ♥♥♥ I know how it is. Unfortunately for my own emotional growth, I wound up on an educational path that utilizes and reinforces my 'skill' to intellectualise and decypher the nonverbal cues of others. Meanwhile, my relationship with myself is ... utter bewilderment. It seems like the more I try to uncover and engage with myself, the more contradictions I find. I really feel the 'minimal me' in relationships; in fact, I went from anxious-avoidant to complicated ambivalent attachment and then all the way back to even more avoidant. I found the whole ordeal of trying to build meaningful friendships rather discouraging, given that I can't seem to stay in one shape for long enough for someone to 'really' get to know me - maybe including myself. Sending a gentle hug.
@@PeachPlastic thank you for your comprehensive explanation, self analysis is both a blessing and a curse - we need it to try and understand how all these bullets almost destroyed us, but whenever you dismantle something it never functions quite the same again. I am still too traumatised to sustain any new friendship, feel I'm over authentic/intense then become chirpy to overcompensate. I quickly become the rescuer, agony aunt, giver, problem solver, a women even got me to mind her 4yr old after knowing her a day..! Wait a minute I've only just got my own head above water. I see people as a threat now and even worry if my facial expressions belie my words. I've been dragged through the wringer as most of us here have. I am hopeful about future friendships but for now I need to retreat to alone times whenever I can. Too long, just wanted to leave some appreciation, thank you 🙏
For the last six years (since both of my parents died six months apart) I have not been speaking to my older sister who completely traumatized me day after day when we were young and well into my 50s. I would stand there and take her abuse and allow her to make fun of me. I don’t know if I will ever heal that wound and no one in my family understands why I need to stay away from her. I see her as the evil sister because she changed the projectory of my life and what I think about myself which I have struggled with every day for 71 years. She has no idea. I want to let it go but it won’t go. It just won’t go.
Try to concentrate on yourself, do what makes you feel good. Do try to stop caring what others think of you, or your behaviour. They don't know what went on, as you say. It's none of their business anyway. You have a right to be happy. Bless you, take care. 🙏❤
I have 3 children and I would draw a bullseye, I would put them in the middle, the next ring, was me, the next was immediate family, next extended family, then friends. Outside the ring was whoever was bullying. See how far removed they are from you. Place your sister outside the ring, she doesn't have your best interest at heart. Put only those who care about you in your rings. Make a conscious effort to live in the now, not the past. I am a Christian and I love psalm 91. I hope you find peace! You are worth it! 💗💗💗💗
Sounds like myself and 5-year older brother hew, never in our 80 some years together = zero love or compassion. Being Autistic, this also profoundly affected my self-esteem plus parents enforced a rule "no tattletale" rule, so had to suck it up silently! He married a like-minded narcissistic wife making narcissistic children, yet they all still don't understand why I avoid them like the plague!
i struggle with dealing with adulthood after narcissistic abuse from a sister. it’s hard to feel seen because most people experience narcissistic abuse from a partner or their parents. but i’m here and i see you and i struggle with this too
I’m gonna throw myself out there and say that I believe fibromyalgia (and all chronic perceived pain) is a product of being traumatized and holding it in your body.
@Elias HeronBons don't let anyone have that much power over your health, mind or body. I suggest you watch Dopesick about the oxytocin crisis. It will give you some perspective on the lies that are being told by the "scientists", including the FDA. Our health system is such a money making machine and everyone is involved. I am a RN and I learned about how the pharmaceutical companies are robbing people in my first semester of nursing school. I now specialize in trauma, PTSD and detox. I am here to tell you, there is truth in physical illness being related to emotional trauma. You don't have to listen or even consider it. You can just keep taking the medications that are prescribed with all the side effects and possibly of addiction. If you want to be owned by the pharmaceutical companies, it's your choice. Good luck to you.
I checked this video out because one of my speakers knows him - and what a nice treat. Dr. Porges explains this very well. Love it and now I want to read one of his books. It is a missing link in psychotherapy and so many clinicians are missing the point if they tell patients to apply only cognitive techniques!
Personally, hearing Dr. Porges remind us that we are using 'newer mammalian structures... it's evolutionary, to inhibit very primitive defensive systems' opened a world of forgiveness as I continue to engage in change.
It is hopeful to see that there is a great awakening to the effects of widespread childhood trauma, I don’t think anybody is immune from it. We try to raise our kids to be gladly accepted by the society we live in by damaging their authenticity and gut feelings also leaving them with trauma related psychological and physiological disorders. What a sad story of human being!
Absolutely, thanks for articulating this. I'm raising my little ones to be authentic, trust their intuition and know that actions speak louder than words. It's sad to have to teach them about duplicitous individuals and manipulators, safety is an illusion, society call wicked = good and wholesome = evil. It's always at someone else's expense. My children are somewhat muted when others are around but radiant, chatting bouncing dancers when home! I was raised in horrific abuse but gaslit to accept that was the norm, super naive which cost me greatly. I teach my children that evil exists. Flee from it
@@FaithfulandTrue949 God bless you and your children. Every generation clear up its fair share of ancestral trauma. I’m so hopeful for our future generations.
FOR yeats i have blamed myself for my freeze responses to aggression. learning to unfreeze afterward was much harder than I anticipated. it happened last week when I was aggressively verbally attacked. even using EFT, breathwork, etc., it still took a couple days to recover from trembling. as I reframe this incident, I do feel calmer but now feel fear, not often nor comfortable for me, just thinking of addressing this abuser. wish it was as easy to treat as it is to explain.
Thank YOU... presently I am finding that stimulation of the Vagus Nerve, through specific breath practices, and the application of specific frequencies via calibrated stainless steel, medical grade tuning forks on the path of the Vagus nerve, have been of great benefit, in bringing forth a sense of calm, balance, and wellbeing. This the pioneering work put forth by APOGEE Acu-Tone™.
Fibromyalgia at 19 y/o ❤️🩹🎯 Absolutely feels like anger, trauma, and frustrations turned inward because expressing them meant being, essentially, sent away. Man I was in for a world of confusion. Turns out, you can’t be drugged out of being a narcissist’s scapegoat but they sure can try 😂 it appears that I was punished for reacting negatively to the severe negativity around me 🙂 It actually feels good, like I’m finally ‘allowed’ to be right about it all now. Not for bragging rights, but so that we can have an actionable plan to feel better ❤ Hearing docs say “Idk but you gotta control your emotions” just looking for answers in 2020, post-trauma they didn’t know about, really sucked
I was diagnosed with SEVERE ANXIETY NEUROSIS in 1978 (possibly earlier). I was 10 years old. I was NOT "abused" . My parents did fight and had substance abuse issues... .but my mother became sobor in 72. They were divorced by 77. But I was not "abused' in the stereotypical manner. Maybe non-directly. But that is what I am trying to uncover. My parents were loving and generous.. they just had their own issues .. which.. for a small child... you could still find that a lack of security and wellbeing.. QUESTION.. why was MY system MORE sensitive than OTHER childrens???? I mean. . LOTS AND LOTS of kids grow up in broken homes from all circumstances and DO manage to be successful. I was also diagnosed with ADHD by 1980 and put on medication. I was bullied in school.. (because presumably my hyperactivity and "strangeness" AND kids are assholes") soooo that could also have later continued the threat to my system (I was bullied as late as 9th grade!!) I just want to know why my system was MORE sensitive than others??? and more importantly HOW can I FIX tHIS at age 53... during a Pandemic?? (Oh I was also finally diagnosed with BPD in Ocotober of 2020)
also I wonder if it was also due to poor caregivers. MY mother raised me as a single mum and I had babysitters that I would argue could have contributed to some mental abuse.. I was left in their care while my mum was at the hospital on call... I remember being locked out of the house by one of them. soooo I need to track that shit down.
Do you know what kind of birth you had and what was going on with your parents while you were in utero? These have major impacts. As well as the way you were parented as an infant and through early childhood. Did they leave you alone to cry yourself to sleep? Were you wanted? Did you have even 1 reliable caregiver who reflected back to you your goodness? Did you have any medical interventions/surgery as a child? I’ve been working through this myself and have found it to be more complex than ‘was I abused or not’. I was born traumatically into a home where my dad didn’t want me, he was violent towards my mum and cheated on her many times and during my first year. I had medical interventions, we were on the poverty line, my extended family were all violent towards their partners, there was alcohol and substance abuse around me, my mum was traumatised and unpredictable and I had no one in my family or beyond who took any interest in me or cared about my emotional well-being. I was not truly seen, heard, felt or acknowledged my entire childhood. Life has been extremely hard for me. I have had no success, self esteem or confidence. It confused me for soo long as to why I struggle so much with everything because I wasn’t physically or sexually abused but after learning more about trauma and the nervous system, I totally get it now. My entire life was unsafe and I was completely left alone. That’s massive trauma to be raised in. I have pretty bad adhd/executive dysfunction. Life is just hard af. But healing is possible. I’ve found breathwork to be the best medicine for me. Gentle vagal breathing, yin yoga. And therapy with someone trauma informed who can co-regulate with me and I can understand what healthy attachment feels like. Keep going ♥️
Inherited genomics that make it harder for your neurotransmitters to be in balance. If both parents had substance use issues, then they both have those same genes (hard to make enough of the right neurotramsitters - they were self medicating. You got a double dose of those genes.
Yes you were experiencing a lot of trauma. 1. You did not get the emotional safety (that is required for healthy growth of a child) or healthy regulation of your emotions. 2. Somehow you can’t see that your parent’s chaotic lifestyle was harmful (and it is ) . A healthy family consist of safety needs of both emotional and physical and mental. Which seems like u didn’t get any of those.
@@tanyarawat9700 Most likely Stephen Porges - The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. He also wrote the pocket guide to polyvagal theory which is supposed to be easier to digest 😉
He touches upon the third which is a complete shut down. I wish you would go into more detail about this because I feel like it’s related to avoidant behaviors. Including various types of disassociation.
I think society takes advantage of knowing what the real cause is but not finding a solution. They know its trauma based and they use diagnosis and medication when in reality we need to heal. They are nuts delaying the process and making us sicker😅
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🧠 *The nervous system functions like an inverted triangle, with brainstem circuits regulating underlying states and transmitting information to higher brain structures.* 01:09 🤝 *Social interactions are neural exercises that use newer mammalian structures to inhibit primitive defensive systems, helping us negotiate relationships and maintain safety.* 02:45 🔒 *In dangerous situations where we can't fight or flee, a shutdown circuit can be triggered, which is crucial in understanding trauma according to the Polyvagal Theory.* 03:14 🔄 *These responses are involuntary, as our nervous system evaluates environmental cues on a subconscious neurobiological level, leading to different states and behaviors.* 03:57 🧩 *The Polyvagal Theory explains three neural circuits supporting various behaviors: social engagement in safe environments, fight/flight in emergencies, and a shutdown response as a second level of defense.* Made with HARPA AI/
Theory is obvious if you pay attention to how traumatized people can often be---- which is frozen and stuck on so many levels-- often repeating the same dysfunctional behaviours because the thinking patterns are on loops (rooted in fear or flashbacks to the unprocessed traumas). The person and their life are 'stuck' in the trauma-- unable to move forward and beyond it. So... What is the proposed answer-- according to the theory?
There are visualization and reflection techniques to help heal, such as imagining where the emotional trauma physically feels in your body, then visualizing it floating away from you or going away from you, stuff like that, and so forth. That's one thing. I think physical exercise also makes your body stronger and strengthens even your nervous system to be able to fight and handle things better, with a cool headspace. It's very mind body, and physical wellbeing plays so much into our mental wellbeing. For me what's been working is just attacking my life at all angles and not focusing on the details. I started eating better, much better nutrition, making myself acquire better habits by brute strength and repetition and over time it becomes a part of you, reflecting on why you do the things that you do without shame, and that's the tricky part, not feeling shame or feeling like you're a bad person for feeling this way. it's not your fault, but it's your responsibility to get better. The tricky part for me personally is that whenever I get into a slightly toxic situation or into an argument or a space where things aren't calm and serene, it can really distract me or makes me feel anxious for even days, and I revert back to feeling unease in my body. And I wish I knew how to get rid of that once and for all. Best of luck to you. I hope you are making headway in a good direction.
Grab the book, Accessing the Power of the Vagus Nerve, by Stanley Rosenberg. It has details and exercises meant to release the stored trauma and allow you shift beyond that state.
Dr Caroline Leaf is a published Neuroscientist who escaped apartide. She has an excellent podcast to explain neurocycling - it works. Reading the gospels for the first time I was shocked about all the religious hypocrites and narcissistic manipulaters that were called out by Jesus. They crucified Him because He exposed them - that was the beginning of me being set free. We've been fed so many lies but once you know the Truth the Truth will set you free.
I was a heroin addict for 15 years . I put myself through excruciating trauma . Things that used to haunt me . About a year and a half into recovery i woke up went to the gym as usual . I did my first set at the gym I felt like I was sick with the flu or something Well it wasn’t the flu it was fibromyalgia . Ive had fibromyalgia for about six years now and i do believe it’s from the trauma.
I hope you've had some success with recovering from the fibromyalgia! I had neuropathy pain for 2 years due to trauma. They tried to tell me it was fibromyalgia, but I wouldn't accept that. I finally got treatment for the trauma--using exposure therapy, acceptance commitment therapy, and life coaching. Neuropathy is gone. Fibromyalgia is just another word for, "We don't know what is going on so we'll label it as this..."
Dr. Porges, when someone has been in fight or flight for so long, someone being unable to understand social cues correctly I understand. But when someone is in this state why do they have a low threshold to react? I thought it would be opposite.
I feel like when you're a child you're usually stuck in the situation, it's not like a child can just say I'm leaving when their parents house is the only place you have and the parent can legally keep the child in the environment.
What of epigenetic studies in relation to the polyvagal theory? Such as environmental triggers and behaviors (social engagement, fight & flight, shut down) that modifies gene expression?
(I recognize this is a year-old comment, but) I highly recommend checking out Prentis Hemphill and The Embodiment Institute - their work is specifically focused on utilizing somatics and healing justice to address this question!
@@catherineshaw1122 No it’s not. White people don’t have to constantly be worried about being pulled over by police and killed because of racist profiling. You have no appreciation for the different experience of blacks that the original comment raised.
02:27 But what if we can't get away from the danger? What if we're held down or if we're in confined environment (...) or in a bathroom where someone is [now][out] going to hurt us? [All] possibilities that we could *trigger a third circuit which shuts us down* and is that shutdown circuit that makes it so important in understanding trauma. And *the polyvagal theory articulates that shutdown circuit* , _while most other theoretical models of trauma, and what people would call stress disorders, only talk about the fight-flight system_ .
Have her go to a cranial osteopath with extensive expel me in neuromusculoskeletal work - they will be able to work on her fascia and release the vagus and other cranial nerves and help her to walk again. Trauma is stored in the fascia which then translates into what you’re describing. Best place to find one is www.cranialacademy.org and look for 100% cranial focus and as many years of experience as you can as it matters!
The number one thing people don't understand is: "it is not voluntary" Really time to start dispensing with the near dogmatic free will belief system. It's unhealthy and with every single discovery about human behavior, free will is less and less of a contender as an idea. For now though when asked if we believe we have free will we should say something like "I have no choice." (Hitchens)
This is the dorsal vagal shutdown. Check out Sukie Baxter on UA-cam; - 'Polyvagal Theory, explained simply', 'Vagus nerve reset to release trauma stored in the body' and 'Vagus nerve exercises to re-wire your brain from anxiety'. Also Stanley Rosenberg's book 'Accessing the healing power of the vagus nerve'. All really helpful and comprehensible! Blessings.
@@alondraacosta-mora6504 I think I'm in the same situation. Have you found anything that has worked for you? Also, there are metabolic conditions that occur, often due to excessive stress, can result in this condition. I **highly** recommend you look into what Morley Robbins and Dr. Rick Malter share on the internet. UA-cam has a lot of information. Veritas Medical Radio is an excellent source and has a ton of Morley Robbins interviews.
Does it mean that neuroception may help people with asperger syndrom or other social disabilities to better understand facial expressions and intentions?
I say yes but it will be a lot of work. You would need them to practice the facial reactions. Groove that pattern. You make a face and they make the face that should be the reaction to it.
Neuroception is perception *without* awareness. We can, however, become more aware of what brings or promotes safe states for our nervous systems, meaning, as Dr Porges says, that we will then be able to access higher cortical functions. Nervous system state drives psychogical story.
Why don't we want to use the term "subconscious"? Isn't that clearly what he's describing? - below conscious means subconscious, and that's what he describes- isn't it?
He doesn’t explain though what we can do with this understanding. How do we reach the rest and digest state when we’re stuck in the lower two states? I recommend Unlearn Your Pain by Howard Schubiner to resolve past trauma and find safety.
an entire recapitulation of what we have all already studied...but its not the answer, just the same paradigm with some new vocabulary and anatomy..And it didnt work last time we learned it with other words..
I can't even staand up straight am always in fight/flight. Trying to catch myself and relax but natural state is not good at all. Ruined my whole life....
See, what does a person do, if, their perspective feels as if, it's impossible to really truly benefit from topics and inventions such as this because in order to do so one would have to risk the risk of talking about the recorded words of Christ Jesus of Nazareth in the Holy Bible???? Friendship, like love is a lie.
parents not being good parents in America. Broken families thinking giving kids materials and basics is love. Not marrying keeping children in mind. Government encouraging single mothers and court systems encouraging divorce
Emily Rose Not jesting the USA it’s everywhere that Way!Kids with a less Parental Love and Struktur🙈🤷♀️😩😩😳😲😲 are easy to control!Find please one Gov. what serves there People 🙈🙈🤷♀️🤷♀️😩😩😳😳there is non!
Sure,as a small child, I practiced freezing when I was in bed at night thinking that if I looked dead already the person would leave me alone. I would hold my breath as long as possible or slow my breathing to try and appear dead. During the day , It was more fight or flight. I suffer from chronic pain issues now and am so grateful for this type of information and progress related to the long term effects of ptsd. My anxiety levels can be crazy, so I isolate a lot and work at being calm, but have never been very successful until learning this , I’m now feeling more confident that I may be able to change . I’m also on the autism spectrum so I tend to misread things a lot, but it seems that I am also often misread because of it, sure is a confusing world. Neuroscience has been so helpful.
I did the same thing 😮
Wow. I've just heard of this and your comment gives me a lot of hope.
Hi, I think we may have grown up with similar trauma. I’ve been looking into how to heal for decades. Lots of therapy, different types of treatments. It got me only so far. I’m my 50s now, & I’ve acquired serious autoimmune disorders. I used to be a research scientist. Biology 🧬. Anyhow, I think I found the person who knows how to reset the vagus nerve so-to-speak. Look up, “Wim Hoff” on UA-cam. There’s real science behind what he’s doing. The techniques he shows on UA-cam are free. You don’t need to go to his center to practice his methods. Btw, I receive zero compensation or benefits from this recommendation. It is the science that got me. I’m certain you’re very bright. Look up his videos, & the science to NS k up his claims, as I did. I’ve just started doing the cold therapy & breathing, & I am rather astonished by how much better I felt almost immediately.. within 72 hrs. I did the recommended beginner’s approach, although I found a cool bath rather than shower to be much more effective for me (as this way I could submerge the entire vagus nerve.
I’m so frustrated with western medicine & it’s mental health system. All these years, there were this simple set of techniques/practices, that could’ve helped heal m before I ever got this sick, but I never knew. I hope you’ll try it, after you go your own research, & I hope it helps you. You’re not alone. Hang in there, & give this a good two week trial.
I too froze in the same way.
Such an extreme example. It's disheartening to hear your childhood reality but heartening to know that this stuff works. I highly, highly recommend checking out Irene Lyon on UA-cam. She makes the best content on nervous system healing/regulation in my experience.
Pete Walker theorizes that, next to fight/flight/freeze (including fragmentation of memory), there's also fawn. The fawn response would be the one where a person 'plays along' within the traumatic situation. All of these reflexes are driven by primal instint; our nervous system takes control and determines the type of behaviour that will result in the least amount of harm. Fight and flight may not be choosable options, thus the brain resorts to playing dead, or social mimicry. I would argue that freezing is the most debilitating state, while the guilt a victim may feel over having fawn-ed is even harder to process, because it seems that one was, in fact, able to mobilise, but only to the very limited extent cut out by the abuser. Complex trauma survivors will often have a dominant response pattern that their mind has 'trained' because it was the most effective. These responses will automatise until they finally happen in reaction to random 'hair triggers' representative of traumatic cues, and flashbacks can occur in a number of ways other than the "movie clip" kind. Whether your body has trained 'firing up' or 'shutting down' will determine the type of panic/dissociative symptoms you get.
Personally, I'm pretty sure that most mood disorders are veiled symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorders.
Peach Plastic 💜🤷♀️🤷♀️🙈🙈😩I think all Kids had them!So it belongs to all off us!
I totally agree with this. Ad a counsellor I have clients come with a pathologised trauma . Often from childhood.
Very well put. I’m currently reading his “Complex PTSD:From Surviving to Thriving” and shocked to learn that as ‘my personality and my character’ I had called all my life was actually a trauma response! I’m a fawner. The relationship with myself is same as the relationship between myself and my abuser; cursing, yelling, degrading, execrating, criticizing, hating, etc. And there is a minimal ‘me’ in my relationship with others; minimum expression of my needs, wants, desires, choices, decisions, thoughts, ideas, etc. I automatically tune in to others’ needs, wants, choices, well-being, etc. It is a horrible way to live a life.
I think most of our physical illnesses are rooted in our childhood as well.
@@sukran96 ♥♥♥ I know how it is. Unfortunately for my own emotional growth, I wound up on an educational path that utilizes and reinforces my 'skill' to intellectualise and decypher the nonverbal cues of others. Meanwhile, my relationship with myself is ... utter bewilderment. It seems like the more I try to uncover and engage with myself, the more contradictions I find. I really feel the 'minimal me' in relationships; in fact, I went from anxious-avoidant to complicated ambivalent attachment and then all the way back to even more avoidant. I found the whole ordeal of trying to build meaningful friendships rather discouraging, given that I can't seem to stay in one shape for long enough for someone to 'really' get to know me - maybe including myself. Sending a gentle hug.
@@PeachPlastic thank you for your comprehensive explanation, self analysis is both a blessing and a curse - we need it to try and understand how all these bullets almost destroyed us, but whenever you dismantle something it never functions quite the same again. I am still too traumatised to sustain any new friendship, feel I'm over authentic/intense then become chirpy to overcompensate. I quickly become the rescuer, agony aunt, giver, problem solver, a women even got me to mind her 4yr old after knowing her a day..! Wait a minute I've only just got my own head above water. I see people as a threat now and even worry if my facial expressions belie my words. I've been dragged through the wringer as most of us here have. I am hopeful about future friendships but for now I need to retreat to alone times whenever I can. Too long, just wanted to leave some appreciation, thank you 🙏
For the last six years (since both of my parents died six months apart) I have not been speaking to my older sister who completely traumatized me day after day when we were young and well into my 50s. I would stand there and take her abuse and allow her to make fun of me. I don’t know if I will ever heal that wound and no one in my family understands why I need to stay away from her. I see her as the evil sister because she changed the projectory of my life and what I think about myself which I have struggled with every day for 71 years. She has no idea.
I want to let it go but it won’t go. It just won’t go.
Try to concentrate on yourself, do what makes you feel good. Do try to stop caring what others think of you, or your behaviour. They don't know what went on, as you say. It's none of their business anyway. You have a right to be happy. Bless you, take care. 🙏❤
I have 3 children and I would draw a bullseye, I would put them in the middle, the next ring, was me, the next was immediate family, next extended family, then friends. Outside the ring was whoever was bullying. See how far removed they are from you. Place your sister outside the ring, she doesn't have your best interest at heart. Put only those who care about you in your rings. Make a conscious effort to live in the now, not the past. I am a Christian and I love psalm 91. I hope you find peace! You are worth it! 💗💗💗💗
Sounds like myself and 5-year older brother hew, never in our 80 some years together = zero love or compassion. Being Autistic, this also profoundly affected my self-esteem plus parents enforced a rule "no tattletale" rule, so had to suck it up silently! He married a like-minded narcissistic wife making narcissistic children, yet they all still don't understand why I avoid them like the plague!
i struggle with dealing with adulthood after narcissistic abuse from a sister. it’s hard to feel seen because most people experience narcissistic abuse from a partner or their parents. but i’m here and i see you and i struggle with this too
I’m gonna throw myself out there and say that I believe fibromyalgia (and all chronic perceived pain) is a product of being traumatized and holding it in your body.
absolutely
I totally agree.
@Elias HeronBons don't let anyone have that much power over your health, mind or body. I suggest you watch Dopesick about the oxytocin crisis. It will give you some perspective on the lies that are being told by the "scientists", including the FDA. Our health system is such a money making machine and everyone is involved. I am a RN and I learned about how the pharmaceutical companies are robbing people in my first semester of nursing school. I now specialize in trauma, PTSD and detox. I am here to tell you, there is truth in physical illness being related to emotional trauma. You don't have to listen or even consider it. You can just keep taking the medications that are prescribed with all the side effects and possibly of addiction. If you want to be owned by the pharmaceutical companies, it's your choice. Good luck to you.
It's not necessarily linked to trauma although for sure it can be. It is about the automatic nervous system being out of balance though.
@@KWilliams22 and that happens because of trauma and stress
I checked this video out because one of my speakers knows him - and what a nice treat. Dr. Porges explains this very well. Love it and now I want to read one of his books. It is a missing link in psychotherapy and so many clinicians are missing the point if they tell patients to apply only cognitive techniques!
Personally, hearing Dr. Porges remind us that we are using 'newer mammalian structures... it's evolutionary, to inhibit very primitive defensive systems' opened a world of forgiveness as I continue to engage in change.
It’s not your fault.
That Good Will Hunting scene…hits hard now.
What an erudite and clear explanation. Dr.Porges is a brilliant gift to human understanding.
It is hopeful to see that there is a great awakening to the effects of widespread childhood trauma, I don’t think anybody is immune from it. We try to raise our kids to be gladly accepted by the society we live in by damaging their authenticity and gut feelings also leaving them with trauma related psychological and physiological disorders. What a sad story of human being!
Absolutely, thanks for articulating this. I'm raising my little ones to be authentic, trust their intuition and know that actions speak louder than words. It's sad to have to teach them about duplicitous individuals and manipulators, safety is an illusion, society call wicked = good and wholesome = evil. It's always at someone else's expense. My children are somewhat muted when others are around but radiant, chatting bouncing dancers when home! I was raised in horrific abuse but gaslit to accept that was the norm, super naive which cost me greatly. I teach my children that evil exists. Flee from it
@@FaithfulandTrue949 God bless you and your children. Every generation clear up its fair share of ancestral trauma. I’m so hopeful for our future generations.
FOR yeats i have blamed myself for my freeze responses to aggression. learning to unfreeze afterward was much harder than I anticipated. it happened last week when I was aggressively verbally attacked. even using EFT, breathwork, etc., it still took a couple days to recover from trembling. as I reframe this incident, I do feel calmer but now feel fear, not often nor comfortable for me, just thinking of addressing this abuser. wish it was as easy to treat as it is to explain.
So easy to understand. Thank you..!
Blessings ! So simply said
Thanks soooo much FOR INFO!!!
YOU ARE AMAZING!!!
Thank YOU... presently I am finding that stimulation of the Vagus Nerve, through specific breath practices, and the application of specific frequencies via calibrated stainless steel, medical grade tuning forks on the path of the Vagus nerve, have been of great benefit, in bringing forth a sense of calm, balance, and wellbeing. This the pioneering work put forth by APOGEE Acu-Tone™.
I've long wondered if my back pain & arthritis, diagnosed when I was 16, was connected to childhood trauma of not being able to speak up.
I'm not
Fibromyalgia at 19 y/o ❤️🩹🎯 Absolutely feels like anger, trauma, and frustrations turned inward because expressing them meant being, essentially, sent away.
Man I was in for a world of confusion. Turns out, you can’t be drugged out of being a narcissist’s scapegoat but they sure can try 😂 it appears that I was punished for reacting negatively to the severe negativity around me 🙂 It actually feels good, like I’m finally ‘allowed’ to be right about it all now. Not for bragging rights, but so that we can have an actionable plan to feel better ❤
Hearing docs say “Idk but you gotta control your emotions” just looking for answers in 2020, post-trauma they didn’t know about, really sucked
Thank you. Just found out about this.
Thank you for the good explanation
I was diagnosed with SEVERE ANXIETY NEUROSIS in 1978 (possibly earlier). I was 10 years old. I was NOT "abused" . My parents did fight and had substance abuse issues... .but my mother became sobor in 72. They were divorced by 77. But I was not "abused' in the stereotypical manner. Maybe non-directly. But that is what I am trying to uncover. My parents were loving and generous.. they just had their own issues .. which.. for a small child... you could still find that a lack of security and wellbeing.. QUESTION.. why was MY system MORE sensitive than OTHER childrens???? I mean. . LOTS AND LOTS of kids grow up in broken homes from all circumstances and DO manage to be successful. I was also diagnosed with ADHD by 1980 and put on medication. I was bullied in school.. (because presumably my hyperactivity and "strangeness" AND kids are assholes") soooo that could also have later continued the threat to my system (I was bullied as late as 9th grade!!) I just want to know why my system was MORE sensitive than others??? and more importantly HOW can I FIX tHIS at age 53... during a Pandemic?? (Oh I was also finally diagnosed with BPD in Ocotober of 2020)
also I wonder if it was also due to poor caregivers. MY mother raised me as a single mum and I had babysitters that I would argue could have contributed to some mental abuse.. I was left in their care while my mum was at the hospital on call... I remember being locked out of the house by one of them. soooo I need to track that shit down.
Do you know what kind of birth you had and what was going on with your parents while you were in utero? These have major impacts. As well as the way you were parented as an infant and through early childhood. Did they leave you alone to cry yourself to sleep? Were you wanted? Did you have even 1 reliable caregiver who reflected back to you your goodness? Did you have any medical interventions/surgery as a child?
I’ve been working through this myself and have found it to be more complex than ‘was I abused or not’. I was born traumatically into a home where my dad didn’t want me, he was violent towards my mum and cheated on her many times and during my first year. I had medical interventions, we were on the poverty line, my extended family were all violent towards their partners, there was alcohol and substance abuse around me, my mum was traumatised and unpredictable and I had no one in my family or beyond who took any interest in me or cared about my emotional well-being. I was not truly seen, heard, felt or acknowledged my entire childhood. Life has been extremely hard for me. I have had no success, self esteem or confidence. It confused me for soo long as to why I struggle so much with everything because I wasn’t physically or sexually abused but after learning more about trauma and the nervous system, I totally get it now. My entire life was unsafe and I was completely left alone. That’s massive trauma to be raised in. I have pretty bad adhd/executive dysfunction. Life is just hard af. But healing is possible. I’ve found breathwork to be the best medicine for me. Gentle vagal breathing, yin yoga. And therapy with someone trauma informed who can co-regulate with me and I can understand what healthy attachment feels like. Keep going ♥️
Inherited genomics that make it harder for your neurotransmitters to be in balance. If both parents had substance use issues, then they both have those same genes (hard to make enough of the right neurotramsitters - they were self medicating. You got a double dose of those genes.
You can't see it but those other people are damaged in different ways than you.
Yes you were experiencing a lot of trauma.
1. You did not get the emotional safety (that is required for healthy growth of a child) or healthy regulation of your emotions.
2. Somehow you can’t see that your parent’s chaotic lifestyle was harmful (and it is ) .
A healthy family consist of safety needs of both emotional and physical and mental. Which seems like u didn’t get any of those.
❤Explains what happened to me , especially to a sensitive nervous system that grew up around other hypersensitive tyrannical authorities.
Dr. Porges is a legend.
I’m an RN and never heard of this! I have to buy this book. He is talking about me!’
This was one of the hardest books to read, but it was worth every second spent 👌🏻
What book was it?
@@tanyarawat9700 Most likely Stephen Porges - The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. He also wrote the pocket guide to polyvagal theory which is supposed to be easier to digest 😉
Such a concise way to join neurobiology and best-practice in therapy for client wellbeing. The concisest yet afaik..
Fight or flight or FREEZE. This 3rd one is rarely mentioned and is quite debilitating.
Fight flight freeze and fawn. Forth one added by pete walker and all are described in great detail in his CPTSD book.
I've heard of Fight or Flight or Freeze or Flop. The 4th one makes you feel dead.
Thank you. 😊 Really nice clear explanation. 🙂🤔
I often wondered if The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson that releases trapped emotions, have to do with the vagus nerve.
o yes
He touches upon the third which is a complete shut down. I wish you would go into more detail about this because I feel like it’s related to avoidant behaviors. Including various types of disassociation.
I think society takes advantage of knowing what the real cause is but not finding a solution. They know its trauma based and they use diagnosis and medication when in reality we need to heal. They are nuts delaying the process and making us sicker😅
Agreed!!!
Which is probably a big reason for so many shootings etc...
What's the difference between the freeze/shutdown state and dorsal vagul activation? Are we now considering them the same thing?
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🧠 *The nervous system functions like an inverted triangle, with brainstem circuits regulating underlying states and transmitting information to higher brain structures.*
01:09 🤝 *Social interactions are neural exercises that use newer mammalian structures to inhibit primitive defensive systems, helping us negotiate relationships and maintain safety.*
02:45 🔒 *In dangerous situations where we can't fight or flee, a shutdown circuit can be triggered, which is crucial in understanding trauma according to the Polyvagal Theory.*
03:14 🔄 *These responses are involuntary, as our nervous system evaluates environmental cues on a subconscious neurobiological level, leading to different states and behaviors.*
03:57 🧩 *The Polyvagal Theory explains three neural circuits supporting various behaviors: social engagement in safe environments, fight/flight in emergencies, and a shutdown response as a second level of defense.*
Made with HARPA AI/
Theory is obvious if you pay attention to how traumatized people can often be---- which is frozen and stuck on so many levels-- often repeating the same dysfunctional behaviours because the thinking patterns are on loops (rooted in fear or flashbacks to the unprocessed traumas). The person and their life are 'stuck' in the trauma-- unable to move forward and beyond it. So... What is the proposed answer-- according to the theory?
There are visualization and reflection techniques to help heal, such as imagining where the emotional trauma physically feels in your body, then visualizing it floating away from you or going away from you, stuff like that, and so forth. That's one thing. I think physical exercise also makes your body stronger and strengthens even your nervous system to be able to fight and handle things better, with a cool headspace. It's very mind body, and physical wellbeing plays so much into our mental wellbeing.
For me what's been working is just attacking my life at all angles and not focusing on the details. I started eating better, much better nutrition, making myself acquire better habits by brute strength and repetition and over time it becomes a part of you, reflecting on why you do the things that you do without shame, and that's the tricky part, not feeling shame or feeling like you're a bad person for feeling this way. it's not your fault, but it's your responsibility to get better.
The tricky part for me personally is that whenever I get into a slightly toxic situation or into an argument or a space where things aren't calm and serene, it can really distract me or makes me feel anxious for even days, and I revert back to feeling unease in my body. And I wish I knew how to get rid of that once and for all.
Best of luck to you. I hope you are making headway in a good direction.
Grab the book, Accessing the Power of the Vagus Nerve, by Stanley Rosenberg. It has details and exercises meant to release the stored trauma and allow you shift beyond that state.
Dr Caroline Leaf is a published Neuroscientist who escaped apartide. She has an excellent podcast to explain neurocycling - it works. Reading the gospels for the first time I was shocked about all the religious hypocrites and narcissistic manipulaters that were called out by Jesus. They crucified Him because He exposed them - that was the beginning of me being set free. We've been fed so many lies but once you know the Truth the Truth will set you free.
@@FaithfulandTrue949 what do you mean dhe escaped apartheid?
Dr. Porges, I'd love to know more about my inner states of involuntary quaking
Anita Brown Gat his books!!
Take a look at Peter Levine’s you tube video about the polar bear
I was a heroin addict for 15 years . I put myself through excruciating trauma . Things that used to haunt me . About a year and a half into recovery i woke up went to the gym as usual . I did my first set at the gym I felt like I was sick with the flu or something Well it wasn’t the flu it was fibromyalgia . Ive had fibromyalgia for about six years now and i do believe it’s from the trauma.
I hope you've had some success with recovering from the fibromyalgia! I had neuropathy pain for 2 years due to trauma. They tried to tell me it was fibromyalgia, but I wouldn't accept that. I finally got treatment for the trauma--using exposure therapy, acceptance commitment therapy, and life coaching. Neuropathy is gone. Fibromyalgia is just another word for, "We don't know what is going on so we'll label it as this..."
Dr. Porges, when someone has been in fight or flight for so long, someone being unable to understand social cues correctly I understand. But when someone is in this state why do they have a low threshold to react? I thought it would be opposite.
I feel like when you're a child you're usually stuck in the situation, it's not like a child can just say I'm leaving when their parents house is the only place you have and the parent can legally keep the child in the environment.
I have been doing the wim Hof method for a couple of weeks now, about seven or eight rounds a day and then a little meditation afterwards.
What of epigenetic studies in relation to the polyvagal theory? Such as environmental triggers and behaviors (social engagement, fight & flight, shut down) that modifies gene expression?
Great question! Inheited trauma is not involved in this super short clip
Where can I watch the full interview ? Brilliant work
I would Google this dude
Also consider the current political environment in which no one feels safe.
How does this work in the black/African American Community where finding safety is a challenge-is an issues for them (past present and future)
The movie, "Get Out," seemed to give that feel. Obviously not the shut down aspect, but the feeling of danger all around.
(I recognize this is a year-old comment, but) I highly recommend checking out Prentis Hemphill and The Embodiment Institute - their work is specifically focused on utilizing somatics and healing justice to address this question!
The same way it works for anyone else in a situation where they don't feel safe.
@@catherineshaw1122 smh
@@catherineshaw1122 No it’s not. White people don’t have to constantly be worried about being pulled over by police and killed because of racist profiling. You have no appreciation for the different experience of blacks that the original comment raised.
02:27
But what if we can't get away from the danger? What if we're held down or if we're in confined environment (...) or in a bathroom where someone is [now][out] going to hurt us?
[All] possibilities that we could *trigger a third circuit which shuts us down* and is that shutdown circuit that makes it so important in understanding trauma.
And *the polyvagal theory articulates that shutdown circuit* , _while most other theoretical models of trauma, and what people would call stress disorders, only talk about the fight-flight system_ .
So that's *the core* of what I would tell a person about *the polyvagal theory* .
And the *second component of that core* is that _these responses are NOT voluntary_ .
Question can Disautonomia be related to a Vegas nerve disfunction? Maybe a shutoff of the vegas nerve,when standing and normal function while lying?
@@gracewilliams6315 is there a way to correct that. Your technique or massage therapy? Any guidance would be appreciated
@@gracewilliams6315 ok I'll have to ask my client tomorrow what type it is.
I check pots that sounds like what she is suffering from
@@gracewilliams6315 she cant excercise at all, she cant walk unassisted.
Have her go to a cranial osteopath with extensive expel me in neuromusculoskeletal work - they will be able to work on her fascia and release the vagus and other cranial nerves and help her to walk again. Trauma is stored in the fascia which then translates into what you’re describing. Best place to find one is www.cranialacademy.org and look for 100% cranial focus and as many years of experience as you can as it matters!
The number one thing people don't understand is: "it is not voluntary"
Really time to start dispensing with the near dogmatic free will belief system. It's unhealthy and with every single discovery about human behavior, free will is less and less of a contender as an idea.
For now though when asked if we believe we have free will we should say something like "I have no choice." (Hitchens)
Social engagement in safe environments is Not the only way. of grounded behavior? What about the personal dorsal earth grounding?
i have been emotionally numb for 2 months :( i dont even have a direction anymore.
This is the dorsal vagal shutdown. Check out Sukie Baxter on UA-cam; - 'Polyvagal Theory, explained simply', 'Vagus nerve reset to release trauma stored in the body' and 'Vagus nerve exercises to re-wire your brain from anxiety'. Also Stanley Rosenberg's book 'Accessing the healing power of the vagus nerve'. All really helpful and comprehensible! Blessings.
@@tonycoope4052 thank you i will
@@alondraacosta-mora6504 I think I'm in the same situation. Have you found anything that has worked for you? Also, there are metabolic conditions that occur, often due to excessive stress, can result in this condition. I **highly** recommend you look into what Morley Robbins and Dr. Rick Malter share on the internet. UA-cam has a lot of information. Veritas Medical Radio is an excellent source and has a ton of Morley Robbins interviews.
Oh love. Keep working through it. I hope you find relief soon and I really hear you on that state. You’re not alone ❤️
sehr schade, dass es diesen Film nicht auch auf deutsch zu hören gibt ?
Play the film to a translator app on another device. Or you could adjust the settings in this video to show captions.
the broken nose....? any explanation?
Does it mean that neuroception may help people with asperger syndrom or other social disabilities to better understand facial expressions and intentions?
EfferveScience & stress-défense this was my question also.
I say yes but it will be a lot of work. You would need them to practice the facial reactions. Groove that pattern. You make a face and they make the face that should be the reaction to it.
Fake it until you make it.
Neuroception is perception *without* awareness. We can, however, become more aware of what brings or promotes safe states for our nervous systems, meaning, as Dr Porges says, that we will then be able to access higher cortical functions. Nervous system state drives psychogical story.
Fake it til you make it is how autistic people burn out
Why don't we want to use the term "subconscious"? Isn't that clearly what he's describing? - below conscious means subconscious, and that's what he describes- isn't it?
That's why they do those test of pictures of angry people to then say they are not angry just sad... (in those test they DO look angry though LOL)
Yes indeed
I prefer to isolate
Same!
I wish he'd let his work be peer reviewed...
❤
He doesn’t explain though what we can do with this understanding. How do we reach the rest and digest state when we’re stuck in the lower two states? I recommend Unlearn Your Pain by Howard Schubiner to resolve past trauma and find safety.
Massage therapy activates rest and digest phase.
⭐🙏💛🙏⭐
Organic Intelligence
Good but enough expkanation of the secondarh defences
Polywhatnow?
Fuck your feelings brought me here
an entire recapitulation of what we have all already studied...but its not the answer, just the same paradigm with some new vocabulary and anatomy..And it didnt work last time we learned it with other words..
SOWK 644
I can't even staand up straight am always in fight/flight. Trying to catch myself and relax but natural state is not good at all. Ruined my whole life....
This can't be your cover when you were the one who pinned me in it
A genius 😅😂😂😂
Polivaginal?
See, what does a person do, if, their perspective feels as if, it's impossible to really truly benefit from topics and inventions such as this because in order to do so one would have to risk the risk of talking about the recorded words of Christ Jesus of Nazareth in the Holy Bible????
Friendship, like love is a lie.
🪷🪽🪽
"Something in the environment triggered it." @amerikkka
parents not being good parents in America. Broken families thinking giving kids materials and basics is love. Not marrying keeping children in mind. Government encouraging single mothers and court systems encouraging divorce
Emily Rose Not jesting the USA it’s everywhere that Way!Kids with a less Parental Love and Struktur🙈🤷♀️😩😩😳😲😲 are easy to control!Find please one Gov. what serves there People 🙈🙈🤷♀️🤷♀️😩😩😳😳there is non!
@@rosisunny9302 I tend to agree.. but i am not informed enough to say
Polyvagal.....
Sounds kind of well just what it says on the packet...
Knows WHO..
The man in this video has edema under his eyes
I hope he got that chkd out xo
Repetitive jargon.
Why does his smile make me feel threatened? Such an unnatural expression is on his face and not in the appropriate time.
Wouldn't Dr. Porges himself get to choose when the 'appropriate time' to smile is?
@@richardmitchell743 It's called body language, non-verbal communication. Dr P choice of time to smile tells a lot about himself.
@@verabolton oh i c now
@@verabolton lmao ur not on criminal minds or woke. He is taking to someone behind a camera and is making it less awkward. Relax
@@verabolton And what is your expert deduction of his body language?