Liver shots are perfectly legal in boxing. Many boxers have agreed that getting hit in the liver is even worse than a punch on the chin because it is excruciatingly painful but you remain fully conscious. She must be thinking punches to the kidneys.
Human is a bit of a stretch. The hell kinda mystery meat is she, anyway? She's got skin like a 50 year old smoker who slept on a tanning bed every night. Her hair is not any phenotype I recognize. She resides at the bottom of the uncanny valley.
This is what I’ve been saying for ages! I have a six inch torso. My ENTIRE TORSO is six inches long. So I’ve never understood the hype. To me it sounds very... uncomfortable. You don’t want your cervix to get repeatedly smacked. 😅 My OB/GYN complimented me last time, said, “Oh, well, you have quite a petite uterus.” I was like, “Thanks?” He nodded. “It follows; you have a small frame. But you’re definitely on the c-section list.” He also asked if my short torsoedness caused... logistic difficulties with previous partners. 😂 It’s a thing! Too much of a good thing is a BAD THING! I’m thrilled with a compact sedan that gets good mileage. Not a single thing wrong with that!
@@AmaraJordanMusic Not meaning to flirt, but you had me at "a compact sedan that gets good mileage." That's comedy gold! I'm trying to remember the comedian who said, "Astroglide; You can park a Buick in a dog house!" But yeah; if the runway isn't long enough, don't bring in that jumbo jet. It's not good on the guy side either. "It's like getting stuck in a knot hole. The red ring isn't lipstick, its broken blood vessels!"
gerald frost Thanks Gerald! 😅 I’m glad you liked the metaphor. 😂 I feel like this is one aspect of intimacy that gets pretty much overlooked; I think people are kinda focusing on the wrong thing here! But, to each their own!
@@nativesun9865 we have a lot of very cruel fairy tales her in germany. As I was a kid we got read those stories... today most of the "modern" parents dont read them to their kids anymore because of the explizit brutallity in it..
Oh buddy, you've been lied to! Just give a woman hope that they can change you, that you are a project worth investing! Before you know it, your unemployed ass with no car insurance is on easy street!
@@TheDancerMacabre That woman is broken, sir. However, women enjoy self-improvement, so she'll eventually go to therapy, fix herself and then dump you.
@@Grundy666 you are gem girl coz you don't see men as ATM machine i always want partner like you I don't say any women to literally marry a beggar i just say if you are dating and it been just a month how can you expect financial support from him and also this 20th century women get equal pay for the same job because most jobs are white collar or computer related in this age when a woman can earn money just from making food vlog at home then she should not cry for financial support after all women get so much reservation from bus to education job University their is quota for women.
IKR? The gender that invented ghosting, acting like men are the ones who don't reply? Shit, if a man replies 5 minutes too soon or with three too many words, it's into the friend zone with him. "He thirsty, he thirsty..." Pffft.
I would take this woman to dinner and after I dropped her off to her place and I saw her go inside safely, I drove off and text her thanking her for spending time with me and I enjoyed every minute of it. We would text each other every night. Told each other about our lives. Laughed at each other's foibles. Thought this was it. She turned out to be a werewolf. Ripped me to pieces and left me to bleed to death.
Jefferson Sousa this is why we can’t go by this scale. We will have guys like Jefferson over here adding “strong” to the front of it to make themselves feel better 😂 any scale we use, there will be guys out there going “EXTRA MEDIUM”
"Y'know, in boxing, if you punch someone in the liver, it's illegal." And she just lets it sit there with Norm McDonald confidence and implied context. Great reading. I also think "It seems to be on your minds" is a great delivery.
Actually “going to the body” literally means to go low into the liver bringing the hands down and the chin out for follow up head shots. Not only isn’t it illegal to go to the body, it is necessarily part of the sport!
* shaking my head * Noo, sillies. Ya gotta use more universal terms: penis-head units... 1 inch-unit converts to approximately 1 penis-head-unit. Thusly, for example sake, 1 foot ≈ 12 dickheads. Simple. Class over.
This metric is especially useful when needing to make approximate measurements out in the field. Quite a bit of the fellows in my office complex and in my neighborhood's parks and shops are often revealed to be unenlightened to this simple measurement hack (!!), as I noticeably frequently receive stares of indubitable awe over my craftiness and smarts, when such unfortunately uneducated nearby shoppers/coworkers/etc. notice me ever so cunningly unfurling and dragging my genitals over any objects I need accurate scale measurements of ad-hoc. I can only imagine how they must eventually start mentally kicking themselves for not having realized the tactic before..!
@@Team_Fauda_Germany It's because the original German versions of the classic fairy tales have some pretty harcore elements in them, like Snow White's evil stepmother being forced to dance herself to death in red-hot iron shoes and stuff like that. A lot of those dark elements have been edited out over time, especially in the USA, where they basically only know the sanatized version adapted by Disney.
Har special? You mean her weekly show that didn't work out? Yeah Netflix was trying to find one that works lol, they killed a few of them until they kept Hasan Minhaj's show. This is from her comedy special Joke Show, it's so so funny lol. She's savage and brutal as hell in it, definitely not politically correct and I love it.
Having a big one is like buying a tandem bike with your girlfriend. At first, she thinks you all are going to have so much fun, but she ends up riding it way less often than you expected and you end up having to do all of the pedaling.
The first reaction is always to examine it to see if it's really atta hed at the base and then they pull. Then comes all the positions that are out of the question.by that time you're just happy she hasn't just said no altogether and left so you just work with the positions she's cook with. Tandem bike is a good reference, but I think a woman ordering a meal at a restaurant is a better picture. She thinks she can eat it all but never does, usually only half the food is eaten and she doesnt want to pack the rest up to take home.
@Rose Groshek Eh, it just came across as unfunny. It felt like that bit was bulky and obtuse, like it didn't fit or like she left out the set up that should've came for her suicide punchline. I mean , she's a fucking killer. Her jokes before that all pretty much landed and stuck and were solid and that last suicide bit felt out of place compared to her other stuff so , who knows. I don't care that she is making the joke people who do this or have that should kill themselves , doesn't bother me at all as I know she is just telling jokes. And while I'm a strong medium myself and not somebody she told ought to honor kill themselves, even if I was in the a part of the group she said should kill themselves , then so what ? I tell myself I should kill myself every day , all through out the day, so a comedian who says that some people should kill themselves couldn't offend me when I tell myself that I should kill me so much more and so much more cruelty. Idk, I know she got some backlash for making that joke (while not as much backlash as a Male comedian would for saying women with tiny tits should kill themselves), plus it has never felt like it belonged in her set or at least it needed more work so , idk.
Yeah I gotta agree. Especially considering the already existing pression for men to have a big penis and its almost certain that some men did kill themselves for that reason. With men commiting most suicide already its really wrong to joke about something that is pretty much ignored.
@@nathhenn8966 she's on that list because she did the white house dinner and made fun of everybody. That list is just a political hit piece to make you hate certain people. All of the Qanon stuff is misdirection sadly.
I hear that shit all the time. I'm always up for constructive criticism, but what the fuck does that mean? Y'all want to sway my dick back in forth humming jaws?
"it's neither. It's not the size OR what I do with it. Because by the time you find out how small it is and how bad I am with it, it's too late. I've already cum" - Doug Stanhope
I'm glad someone brought this up tho. Being with someone that is so big they ram into your cervix is a bad time dude. Felt like I was getting stabbed and I did exactly this 2:25 XD
A guy who knows he is above average and insists on going deep immediately is a jerk. Women should talk to their Gynecologist about a spacer he can wear that shortens the stroke but he stills feels that pressure at the base. A Urologist can help also. Keep it handy for that first date until you find out what you've brought home. Men who push really hard are usually circumcised. Surveys have been done asking prostitutes about it and the majority believe it's because of lost sensitivity. They said they didn't see it as much with uncut men.
Just ramming it in is not polite regardless of size. Unless you have micro penis, any diameter of your penis is wider than the typical vaginal opening, aroused or not, pre penetration. Theres labia down there. You ever sit quietly with your mouth closed for a long time and have your lips stuck together? That can happen down there too. Except theres 4 of them. And things can get overlapped and stickky. Its like if you are trying to stuff your f350 into a parking spot that is already narrower than it is and has four shopping carts blocking the entrance. You gotta slow down a second and at least try to move the carts a little bit, if you arent sure what you are doing call a lot attendant and have them do it or give you some advice, once the entry way is a little more open, you can try tenatively getting the bumper into the parking spot. Even though it looks narrow, if you give the parking space a few moments, it will expand just a little bit to accomodate you, you still have to respect reasonable boundaries, but in general, going slowly at first will give it time it needs to adjust. You can back at a little bit a few times and favor one side or the other to see whic one works better, but most of the time aiming dead center is going to get the job done. Maybe push the front bumper up to the front boundary line gently a few times, testing it, just graze it a bit at first. Things will typically relax a little and you cant get more enthusiastic as time goes on. The reason large penises are a problem is user error. Sometimes. Some are just too damn big. Fucking kidney crackers.
@@robertcuminale1212 That is stupid, the sensitivity where you are cut has nothing to do with going deep, that is all about the base, and you wanting to be closer, and stimulate her clit
@Time to learn Hindian if speaking up about a problematic joke is sensitive, I’ll embrace that. She and you and everyone know that it’s a huge insecurity for most men, because of society’s ridiculous, impossible standards. But sure, let’s reinforce that and ruin more lives. Also, that’s not how the word triggered is meant to be used. It’s a psychological term, not a word to describe someone who’s a bit salty/pissed off. And yes, I’m salty that people like you and this comedian choose to continue to perpetuate a harmful (and incorrect) idea.
Yeah I was like wtf that was outta nowhere and a little much. Really didn’t fit the tone. I don’t know if jokes about suicide should be off the table in comedy but there’s tasteful dark humor and then there’s just blurting out “kill yourself” for an unchangeable physical attribute. Yikes
The part about "2 inches and a nice apartment=6 inches" pretty much confirms what the "Hot/Crazy Matrix for Women" said. "Once you get above a certain level of money, it doesn't matter how hot you are"
I love it! I’m a gay guy and have seen plenty of dicks, and the bigger they are, the less easily they work-also, uncut or uncircumcised penises always result in awful health problems, not to mention all sorts of unhealthy bacteria ending up in there.
3:12 This legit made me fee like shit about myself. Like is this what women actually think? I was out running after watching this and thought what's the point in being in shape when such a foundational part of me provokes such a vicious reaction, like why don't I just give up? I should just stop running, lie down and let the rain and cold take me because feeling nothing at all is better than feeling this hopelessness and loneliness
Don't think you should ever tell someone they should kill themselves. Your comment might be just enough to push them over. The rest of the set was great. But that showed a lack of empathy. Could have softened it with "just give up" or some other similar statement. Let's cast the statement in other lights, "if you are under 5' tall, you should just ..." , "If you are flat chested, you should just...", "If you have too sick to have sex, you should just..."
I was standing at a stone dock waiting to tie up a freighter with 2 of my co-workers when the senior among us (60 yrs old) yelled up at a woman deck hand. "Hey honey, we got 12 inches for ya" She smiled. "Well, between the 3 of us we do!" he finished. She burst out laughing.
Michelle is truly awesome too bad it seems she don't get many specials like in 2017,clearly the media didn't appreciate her jokes because she mocked them and of course their politicians.
Len Murphy I just assumed since her jokes about penis size obviously struck a nerve with you. But I guess toxic masculinity has a different taste of genre of comedy. No judgment here 👌
Man that was rude of her. but with here potatoe like body posture she may shall not shame. the size of nothing makes her attrative to me but i dont have to be rude about it. and its a body quality like color breast or height. i find this not funny but insulting and a death asumtion is forbiden in my nation i belive. if you have teeth like a horse kill yourself??I think this would be concidered a insult and not funny. i understand your frustration.
@Tyler Simmons crying?? i understood it to be a vehicle to enhance conciousness and to help strengthen the feminist and equality movement. but if you prevere to life outside from empathy or your selecting its your topic. i dont need you do agree with me. But if i say a girl with small tits should kill itself its would be correctly criminal. and i dont wish her to be criminalised. What i wish for is understanding and the greatness to admit mistakes. Fatshaming is nthing against this. becaue you can stop eating so much. I dont cry. because i have respectfull company. it´s called honest brave and respectfull to her art. she is devinetly funny and educational. and i can disagree and still like her performance but suicide?? Maybe you shall cry in a corner that there is respectfull oposition. i can tolerate her emotional incompetenc.
@Tyler Simmons herself XD not native to the language.(just because i asume you to argue with no argument but my difficulties in a diffrent language. try mine )
Seems like you would need a healthy cardiovascular system to keep the blood flowing though. I overheard girls talking once and they stated that 'stiffness' beats girth every time.
@ any argument for that or...? You're just gonna leave it there. As a woman I definitely see her point..
4 роки тому
@@nicoleowens2318you see her point "As a woman" that men with small penises should "kill themselves"? Really? You think that a young impressionable kid watching this should feel that way about himself? Again, she's a moron. And if you agree with her, so are you.
@ dude I was just asking you to specify, I didn't know what you were talking about. I think it was a terrible thing to say, but I am not the person who decides what's funny in comedy, so if I don't laugh I tend to ignore it. I've heard comedians joke numerous times about dead babies, but my 7 month old daughter died, I've heard them joke about cancer or COVID, but my step-dad died of one and my bio father the other. That shit hurts when I hear it, but I don't attack people for being insensitive because I'd be no better. There are things that are funny to me because they don't affect me, but are paralyzingly painful to others, case in point. I thought you meant the size thing in general, which to me was practical as a woman. We really don't know what we're getting until the last minute. The suicide joke, nah, I don't find that funny at all, because men aren't defined by their size, and suicide isn't a laughing matter to me, but I am so desensitized I guess, I forgot about that joke when I read your comment, I didn't know what you meant. Like dead baby jokes, I've had a few friends commit suicide, one only a month ago, it's not funny at all. Please, if this joke makes you feel some kind of way, know that most women don't view it this way at all. Size jokes actually make me feel inadequate too as a woman, I wonder if I'm tight enough sometimes, I think we all have our issues. What she said there was terrible and not funny, and I'm sorry if I added to your hurt. Please don't take her joke personally. I mean it, most women, and probably she doesn't even really feel that way, it's about shock value..
@ the thing about that is, comedy is subjective. People laughed, just like people laughed at the dead baby jokes. I agree the joke wasn't funny, to me, but all you can do is not watch it, or if you get a chance to meet her, tell her how you feel about it. Short of that, what can you do? Comment that she's a mean, hateful, moron? I don't know if that helps. It made me pay more attention to that shitty joke I guess. But I tend to believe it's up to us to toughen ourselves up, rather than policing what others say. I believe we trigger each other for the very purpose of showing where the healing needs to happen. Maybe that's way out there for you, I'm just sharing my opinion.
A guy and his wife went to see her doctor to ask a question. The woman was pregnant. They asked if was still okay to have relations. The doctor replied, "yes, as long as you're careful". The child was born and placed into his father's arms for the first time. The baby looked up at his father, then used his finger to poke his father's forehead very hard several times, saying with each poke, "how - do - you - like - it?"
“Y’know, in boxing, if you punch someone in the liver it’s illegal.”
I lost it.
I did too. But as a boxer, no, no it's not.
Liver shots are perfectly legal in boxing. Many boxers have agreed that getting hit in the liver is even worse than a punch on the chin because it is excruciatingly painful but you remain fully conscious. She must be thinking punches to the kidneys.
Regardless, the joke had me rolling on the floor.
Funny but not true! Perfectly legal punch ask Oscar Delahoya!
@@stevensonchambers5577
Omigod, kidneys would have been more accurate AND funnier.
Someone described her looks once as "Lisa Simpson if she were human". Lol
Human is a bit of a stretch. The hell kinda mystery meat is she, anyway? She's got skin like a 50 year old smoker who slept on a tanning bed every night. Her hair is not any phenotype I recognize. She resides at the bottom of the uncanny valley.
Voice too
Seems fair
She looks like a burn victim.
If Lisa Simpson were a human she would be a cat lady.
I love the follow up - "if the shoe had feelings.... AND you cared."
the way she said "i have a short torso" killed me.
That shit was funny.
This is what I’ve been saying for ages! I have a six inch torso. My ENTIRE TORSO is six inches long. So I’ve never understood the hype. To me it sounds very... uncomfortable. You don’t want your cervix to get repeatedly smacked. 😅 My OB/GYN complimented me last time, said, “Oh, well, you have quite a petite uterus.” I was like, “Thanks?” He nodded. “It follows; you have a small frame. But you’re definitely on the c-section list.” He also asked if my short torsoedness caused... logistic difficulties with previous partners. 😂
It’s a thing! Too much of a good thing is a BAD THING! I’m thrilled with a compact sedan that gets good mileage. Not a single thing wrong with that!
@@AmaraJordanMusic Not meaning to flirt, but you had me at "a compact sedan that gets good mileage." That's comedy gold!
I'm trying to remember the comedian who said, "Astroglide; You can park a Buick in a dog house!" But yeah; if the runway isn't long enough, don't bring in that jumbo jet.
It's not good on the guy side either. "It's like getting stuck in a knot hole. The red ring isn't lipstick, its broken blood vessels!"
AmaraJordan wait wdym by your entire torso? I haven't measured my torso before so where would you start and end on the body?
gerald frost Thanks Gerald! 😅 I’m glad you liked the metaphor. 😂 I feel like this is one aspect of intimacy that gets pretty much overlooked; I think people are kinda focusing on the wrong thing here! But, to each their own!
Shoes don't have feelings, but they do have a sole.
padstowphantom HA! It’s pun for the whole family.
👏
@shafta99 your comment is better than all of you.
I love it
This pun was funnier then her whole bit.
The secret is, guys don't know what an Inch is, either.
The less you know the happier you are.
😂😂😂😂😂 americans with your measuring system 😂😂😂
They know, they're just delusional.
@@kui_maina - how about the English with stones, rods, furlongs. We Americans gave up on most of those
@@BanditGangwere 😂😂😂 what kind of medieval system is that???
"Where are you going? To safety!" I can't. LOL
"Imagine if the shoe had feelings... AND YOU CARED!"
One after the other. Fire!
After the another Lol
Dude I'm high and this tripped me out lmao
@@VS-et4pn Thanks for note. Fixed.
unlike her..
Shit humour 😆 if she was a male comic she'd be behind the bar serving drinks
"Imagine the shoe had feeling....and you cared," 😂
As a strong medium, this was very reassuring.
As a small, this was not.
@@TheCountryKing117 better work for that nice apartment lmaooo
TheGingerbeardMan yeah man. A 2 with a nice apartment sounds like a 6.
Strong medium gang
Does being homeless downgrade your size as well?
"We're not gonna be able to read this to children."
"Even in Germany?"
"No."
😂😂😂
"porridge"
It sounded like she said "yeah..."
I don't get it, someone please explain.
@Doktor Doof Thanks. I fully understood the Goldilocks part, but not the Germany at all. Kinda makes more sense now, but still a little fuzzy.
@@nativesun9865 we have a lot of very cruel fairy tales her in germany. As I was a kid we got read those stories... today most of the "modern" parents dont read them to their kids anymore because of the explizit brutallity in it..
"A two with a good apartment is a 6, that's just math".
Well yeah, women prefer men who are reliable and financially stable.
Oh buddy, you've been lied to!
Just give a woman hope that they can change you, that you are a project worth investing!
Before you know it, your unemployed ass with no car insurance is on easy street!
Thank you for saying that without derision. People literally act like a woman wanting someone financially stable is a crime.
@@TheDancerMacabre That woman is broken, sir. However, women enjoy self-improvement, so she'll eventually go to therapy, fix herself and then dump you.
@@Ilikefrogs.. No girl, you just view men as resources. You are disgusting!
@@Grundy666 you are gem girl coz you don't see men as ATM machine i always want partner like you I don't say any women to literally marry a beggar i just say if you are dating and it been just a month how can you expect financial support from him and also this 20th century women get equal pay for the same job because most jobs are white collar or computer related in this age when a woman can earn money just from making food vlog at home then she should not cry for financial support after all women get so much reservation from bus to education job University their is quota for women.
Us men came here for research purposes.
What am I missing..
And left when I heard the first word out of her mouth and remembered what a fucked up voice she said.
@@gettintherejanice6216 Lol...
Define "came"
Faxx
She sounds like violet from the incredibles.
I got more of a Kari the babysitter vibe. Not her though apparently.
She reminds me if John Mulaney was a woman
@@Daniel-hr7rp but I thought John Mulaney was already a strong Korean woman.
LOL..dude!
Totally accurate
I couldn't believe when she said: "she needs you to text HEERRR back..."
IKR? The gender that invented ghosting, acting like men are the ones who don't reply? Shit, if a man replies 5 minutes too soon or with three too many words, it's into the friend zone with him. "He thirsty, he thirsty..." Pffft.
@@a2ndopynyn exactly I was gonna say the same
Smells like misogyny.
@@the_empath_etc Everything smells like misogyny to feminazis.
I would take this woman to dinner and after I dropped her off to her place and I saw her go inside safely, I drove off and text her thanking her for spending time with me and I enjoyed every minute of it. We would text each other every night. Told each other about our lives. Laughed at each other's foibles. Thought this was it. She turned out to be a werewolf. Ripped me to pieces and left me to bleed to death.
What she means to say is actually "Length OVER girth divided by the angle of the shaft"
PUTAIN MENTUER!!!
*Molly whops you*
We've got ourselves a dickmatician here people. A professor of dickology if you will. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
No, pretty sure a good apartment needs to factor in there 😆
@@cloieandwalker8683 just for your info....thats a south park reference.
Underrated 🤣😂
Not going to lie, this made me feel less self conscious.
😂🤣
Good coz girls don't care really
Good on you
Only hot girls care
Ayushi Sharma yes they do. Trust me they do. Lmaooo
“2 with a good appartment is a six thats just math” BRUH 😂
Kinda undermines the rest of the bit.
She's right, instead of inches we need to measure in fun-sized snickers bars. "Jeff packin' 4 snickers bars under those pants."
That's why women do the forearm thing
At first I thought you said full-sized snickers bars and I was like "Wtf 4?!?" lol
I wish...but I'm in the "strong medium" area so I can't exactly complain.
Jefferson Sousa this is why we can’t go by this scale. We will have guys like Jefferson over here adding “strong” to the front of it to make themselves feel better 😂 any scale we use, there will be guys out there going “EXTRA MEDIUM”
@@prairiefarmer5994 Faaaaaair enough.
I clicked on this for assurance
lol
But then she told people to kill themselves over it.
You and a million other men
Dominic yes, yes we did
Didn't we all
Most of us men are legends
In our own minds.
Simp
@@devonmartinski6596 how?
@@devonmartinski6596 He's mos def a simp but let him simp on. SIMPLIFE!!!!
I can't help but think that if that's what the ladies keep telling me 😆
Every man is the best lover and the best driver
"Y'know, in boxing, if you punch someone in the liver, it's illegal."
And she just lets it sit there with Norm McDonald confidence and implied context. Great reading. I also think "It seems to be on your minds" is a great delivery.
It is legal too lol
Great comment dude :)
Except it’s not illegal, and she actually likes it..
NO ONE likes a liver punch - but they're totally legal.
Actually “going to the body” literally means to go low into the liver bringing the hands down and the chin out for follow up head shots. Not only isn’t it illegal to go to the body, it is necessarily part of the sport!
“She needs you to text her back” oooh the irony 😂
She said it. I always felt like women don’t know how long an inch is.
Nobody knows how long an inch is, except for Americans
@@calimero074 good one
@@calimero074 2.54cm or 25.4mm
* shaking my head * Noo, sillies. Ya gotta use more universal terms: penis-head units... 1 inch-unit converts to approximately 1 penis-head-unit. Thusly, for example sake, 1 foot ≈ 12 dickheads. Simple. Class over.
This metric is especially useful when needing to make approximate measurements out in the field.
Quite a bit of the fellows in my office complex and in my neighborhood's parks and shops are often revealed to be unenlightened to this simple measurement hack (!!), as I noticeably frequently receive stares of indubitable awe over my craftiness and smarts, when such unfortunately uneducated nearby shoppers/coworkers/etc. notice me ever so cunningly unfurling and dragging my genitals over any objects I need accurate scale measurements of ad-hoc. I can only imagine how they must eventually start mentally kicking themselves for not having realized the tactic before..!
So... Are we just going to ignore the "small guys should kill themselfs" part?
Apparently yes. Imagine the uproar if a man suggested a woman should kill herself over her body...
It was crazy made me turn off immediately what kind of a terrible human being would say something like that
Most of us, yes...yes we are!
@@Cole-awaken wow, a small dick joke, trully original...
Yup!
Liver shots aren’t illegal but the joke was aight lol
Just to clarify, kidney shots are illegal, not liver shots.
I was hoping someone brought it up.
Bas Rutten made a whole career off kicking motherfuckers in the liver.
came here to say this, thank you sir :]
@ThatOneOddLookingDog ThatBarksAtYou liver shots are the bread and butter yo, nothing sweeter
What's the difference between the kidney and liver?
I mean seriously , there is an atleast 80% increase in my self-confidence after this. 😂
I've never come from a dick, but I've come from fingers and mouths. Draw your own conclusions about what satisfies a vagina.
@@Laeiryn That's what I usually do. Mostly because I'm a 9 and she's more like a 6 or a 7.
So sad!!!
😂😂
@@Laeiryn you aint had the right guy stroking them walls hun *coughs *
...to become a dolphin, which vocally does make sense!" 😁
Whether you're big or just a strong medium, you'll know you hit the spot when she starts with the *DOLPHIN NOISES*
“If you have a small d you should k yourself”
God damn, I have enough anxiety over my average d, I can’t imagine what guys with small ones go through
Women that say that shit should go kill themselves, suicide is all over the world, fucken she has a shit body anyways, nothing about her turns me on,
This was cruel for her to say even as a joke. No one would even joke about women killing themselves over their body.
I've already killed myself because I had a small penis. Yes, I'm a ghost. Yes we can use computers. I'm being serious, look it up.
A living hell, mostly.
I thought she was talking to men
"Even in Germany?"
Damn near pissed myself laughing. Love ya Michelle.
That one probably went right over a lot of heads....
I didn't get it till, I think, now, but laughed because of historical context. / Jewish lineage.
'VEE PICK DIS ONE NOT DAT ONE.'
Still don't get it ?
Whooosshh here 🤷♂️
@@Team_Fauda_Germany It's because the original German versions of the classic fairy tales have some pretty harcore elements in them, like Snow White's evil stepmother being forced to dance herself to death in red-hot iron shoes and stuff like that. A lot of those dark elements have been edited out over time, especially in the USA, where they basically only know the sanatized version adapted by Disney.
Remember when Netflix took her special off because of her White House Correspondents’ peace? Nice to see they’re over it.
What was that about? Sorry, never heard of her before.
Piece
@@GreenFalcon926 its really worth watching. Its pretty brutal in a good way
It is nice to see. I love her.
Har special? You mean her weekly show that didn't work out? Yeah Netflix was trying to find one that works lol, they killed a few of them until they kept Hasan Minhaj's show.
This is from her comedy special Joke Show, it's so so funny lol. She's savage and brutal as hell in it, definitely not politically correct and I love it.
"If you punch someone in the liver its illegal"...🤣😅😂
Having a big one is like buying a tandem bike with your girlfriend. At first, she thinks you all are going to have so much fun, but she ends up riding it way less often than you expected and you end up having to do all of the pedaling.
Facts bro👍🏿🤦🏾♂️💯
My lord, this is too accurate.
@FantomOmega how romantic are you?🙄
It's always great the first time cause their like wow then there like how about some head instead lol
The first reaction is always to examine it to see if it's really atta hed at the base and then they pull. Then comes all the positions that are out of the question.by that time you're just happy she hasn't just said no altogether and left so you just work with the positions she's cook with. Tandem bike is a good reference, but I think a woman ordering a meal at a restaurant is a better picture. She thinks she can eat it all but never does, usually only half the food is eaten and she doesnt want to pack the rest up to take home.
I just want her to say, “this is Kari the babysitter!”
ReMeLa02_03 LMFAOOO!
Eh, the suicide bit was a bit much for my taste. Had me going till that point. To each their own.
And keep in mind that she wrote it down and then must have tried it several times, before this recording. Interesting to consider
Yeah, I agree. Not cool to tell people to neck themselves.
Yeah same here, I have a very crude sense of humor but that was not necessary whatsoever
@Rose Groshek Eh, it just came across as unfunny. It felt like that bit was bulky and obtuse, like it didn't fit or like she left out the set up that should've came for her suicide punchline. I mean , she's a fucking killer. Her jokes before that all pretty much landed and stuck and were solid and that last suicide bit felt out of place compared to her other stuff so , who knows. I don't care that she is making the joke people who do this or have that should kill themselves , doesn't bother me at all as I know she is just telling jokes. And while I'm a strong medium myself and not somebody she told ought to honor kill themselves, even if I was in the a part of the group she said should kill themselves , then so what ? I tell myself I should kill myself every day , all through out the day, so a comedian who says that some people should kill themselves couldn't offend me when I tell myself that I should kill me so much more and so much more cruelty. Idk, I know she got some backlash for making that joke (while not as much backlash as a Male comedian would for saying women with tiny tits should kill themselves), plus it has never felt like it belonged in her set or at least it needed more work so , idk.
Yeah I gotta agree. Especially considering the already existing pression for men to have a big penis and its almost certain that some men did kill themselves for that reason. With men commiting most suicide already its really wrong to joke about something that is pretty much ignored.
We all know why UA-cam recommended this to us... Google knows
Probably just pinged as relevant, she was on The Flight Logs to The Island. So yeah she likes them much smaller lol
@@nathhenn8966 she's on that list because she did the white house dinner and made fun of everybody. That list is just a political hit piece to make you hate certain people. All of the Qanon stuff is misdirection sadly.
We're all here cuz we got big cocks
@@kobe1902 Sure buddy
@@kobe1902 "to make you hate certain people" so you haven't been paying attention, or you are a mindless moron lol
0:25 it really.... seems to be on your minds😂
the delivery on that was perfect.
"To become a Dolphin 🐬" the visual tho 😂🤣😂
Uh... Liver punches are perfectly legal in boxing.
Right
For real 🤣 and she got claps for that; but I think she's mistaking them with kidneys
I hope this gets 1000 likes 😂
If you get punched in the liver do you die thirty years later?
Yeah she doesn't research her jokes
Anybody else get "Kitty" from That 70's show vibe from her?
No
It’s true. As long as it’s not teeny tiny woman don’t care as much as men do.
It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.
I hear that shit all the time. I'm always up for constructive criticism, but what the fuck does that mean? Y'all want to sway my dick back in forth humming jaws?
@@CharlesVanexX I means work with what you got and know how to use it.
Length does nothing, girth does everything.
Gonk Soup can penis
"it's neither. It's not the size OR what I do with it. Because by the time you find out how small it is and how bad I am with it, it's too late. I've already cum" - Doug Stanhope
I'm glad someone brought this up tho. Being with someone that is so big they ram into your cervix is a bad time dude. Felt like I was getting stabbed and I did exactly this 2:25 XD
The "move away." 😄
A guy who knows he is above average and insists on going deep immediately is a jerk. Women should talk to their Gynecologist about a spacer he can wear that shortens the stroke but he stills feels that pressure at the base. A Urologist can help also. Keep it handy for that first date until you find out what you've brought home.
Men who push really hard are usually circumcised. Surveys have been done asking prostitutes about it and the majority believe it's because of lost sensitivity. They said they didn't see it as much with uncut men.
I'm good at not just jamming it in
Just ramming it in is not polite regardless of size. Unless you have micro penis, any diameter of your penis is wider than the typical vaginal opening, aroused or not, pre penetration. Theres labia down there. You ever sit quietly with your mouth closed for a long time and have your lips stuck together? That can happen down there too.
Except theres 4 of them. And things can get overlapped and stickky. Its like if you are trying to stuff your f350 into a parking spot that is already narrower than it is and has four shopping carts blocking the entrance.
You gotta slow down a second and at least try to move the carts a little bit, if you arent sure what you are doing call a lot attendant and have them do it or give you some advice, once the entry way is a little more open, you can try tenatively getting the bumper into the parking spot. Even though it looks narrow, if you give the parking space a few moments, it will expand just a little bit to accomodate you, you still have to respect reasonable boundaries, but in general, going slowly at first will give it time it needs to adjust. You can back at a little bit a few times and favor one side or the other to see whic one works better, but most of the time aiming dead center is going to get the job done. Maybe push the front bumper up to the front boundary line gently a few times, testing it, just graze it a bit at first. Things will typically relax a little and you cant get more enthusiastic as time goes on.
The reason large penises are a problem is user error. Sometimes. Some are just too damn big. Fucking kidney crackers.
@@robertcuminale1212 That is stupid, the sensitivity where you are cut has nothing to do with going deep, that is all about the base, and you wanting to be closer, and stimulate her clit
Her suicide joke was really messed up tho. I usually love a crude joke but this kinda soured the fun.
Yeah I agree, I expected her to backpedal as part of the joke but she didnt, that left a bad taste in my mouth. Too bad cause otherwise she was good
And we say WOMEN are too sensitive and easily triggered by comedy🤣😂🤦♂️
@@SurgeryIsWoke Do you have an issue with me being sensitive about a sensitive subject ?
@Time to learn Hindian if speaking up about a problematic joke is sensitive, I’ll embrace that. She and you and everyone know that it’s a huge insecurity for most men, because of society’s ridiculous, impossible standards. But sure, let’s reinforce that and ruin more lives.
Also, that’s not how the word triggered is meant to be used. It’s a psychological term, not a word to describe someone who’s a bit salty/pissed off.
And yes, I’m salty that people like you and this comedian choose to continue to perpetuate a harmful (and incorrect) idea.
Yeah I was like wtf that was outta nowhere and a little much. Really didn’t fit the tone. I don’t know if jokes about suicide should be off the table in comedy but there’s tasteful dark humor and then there’s just blurting out “kill yourself” for an unchangeable physical attribute. Yikes
Somebody commented that this is what Carrot Top would look like if he was a woman...I was like,"Carrot Top's NOT A WOMAN??!!??" 😳🤣😳
He’s transitioning.
@@rachelderenoncourt3881 It's the steroids. He figured he didn't look weird enough already.
Well the Titanic is maybe huge to us, but it’s extremely tiny to the ocean!
Don’t b hurt buddy I stand with u #lildicksmatter
One average dude called her loose and she’s never been the same since
I'm in my mid-40s and this did not occur to me until two years ago. I drank the kool aid on this one big time.
"porridge" damn. I'm still recovering.
Fun fact: the original title was Goldicocks
Oh, that’s GOOD! 👏🏻
"A hole in my back?" LOL
Originality: 9
Delivery: 9.5
Content: 10
I see Opposite Day fell on a Monday this year
Inches: 9.5
Take some points off for that voice
Lori C A true connoisseur is only more enticed by its shrill melody
"...if the shoes had feelings, and you CARED!" hahahaha
“I don’t want a hole 🕳 in my back!” Hysterical & Absolutely True ♥️Way to go!
What about the top of your head?
😁
The part about "2 inches and a nice apartment=6 inches" pretty much confirms what the "Hot/Crazy Matrix for Women" said. "Once you get above a certain level of money, it doesn't matter how hot you are"
“To safety” 😂😂
MIchelle Wolf is criminally underrated.
You misspelled overrated
Is she regressing to talking about dicks now?
She was awesome when she kept it political calling out bs on all sides
TCt83067695 More like coming full circle. She was always more general, but became known for the politics.
@@Kaddywompous her political comedy had more impact than talking about dicks IMHO. Seems like a massive step back.
@@TCt83067695 well trump is a big dick. so its all related
I’ve watched this more than ten times 😂😂😂
Apart from her mistaking liver shots for kidney shots, this was a banger.
Something about her screechy voice and needle sharp delivery makes her just one of the funniest goddamn comedians ever.
Her greatest feat is getting her skin to perfectly match her hair.
LMAOO did you just call her monochromatic?
I love it! I’m a gay guy and have seen plenty of dicks, and the bigger they are, the less easily they work-also, uncut or uncircumcised penises always result in awful health problems, not to mention all sorts of unhealthy bacteria ending up in there.
@@ungrateful-66 Dude, shut the fuck up. Intact penis do not end up in health problems. Quit spreading your bullshit lies.
@Matt Lamb Monsuier has left the chat lol
@@ungrateful-66 Take a bath ffs
Omg bahaha. "Which vocally makes sense" I'm fucking dead
Punching to the liver in boxing is not illegal. Punching to the kidneys is.
I know as a combat sports fan FSSSS. the pros purposely aim for the liver. doesn't matter how tough you are it can shut a body down.
She's the weird type of attractive
All redheads get a +1 for me. 😁
I just can’t.....To each is own, but I find her oddly unattractive.
Never stick your d*ck in crazy.
Nah u just like her because she boost your confidence
“Alright. Porridge, but you get it! 😆”
I just watched this because..... science
Seems legit
My research showed that i have absolutely nothing to worry about hahaha
Indeed fellow scholar, indeed.
You realise this is not a documentary right?
@@suicicada 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.
ua-cam.com/video/k5zO72KOBbIa/v-deo.html
3:12 This legit made me fee like shit about myself. Like is this what women actually think? I was out running after watching this and thought what's the point in being in shape when such a foundational part of me provokes such a vicious reaction, like why don't I just give up? I should just stop running, lie down and let the rain and cold take me because feeling nothing at all is better than feeling this hopelessness and loneliness
Been trying to explain this one for years! LMAO!!
This clip has the Worst thumbnail ever. Someone at Netflix is a hater.
Don't think you should ever tell someone they should kill themselves. Your comment might be just enough to push them over.
The rest of the set was great. But that showed a lack of empathy. Could have softened it with "just give up" or some other similar statement.
Let's cast the statement in other lights, "if you are under 5' tall, you should just ..." , "If you are flat chested, you should just...", "If you have too sick to have sex, you should just..."
I was standing at a stone dock waiting to tie up a freighter with 2 of my co-workers when the senior among us (60 yrs old) yelled up at a woman deck hand.
"Hey honey, we got 12 inches for ya"
She smiled.
"Well, between the 3 of us we do!" he finished.
She burst out laughing.
I’m happy Carrot Top has moved away from the props and opened up about his sexuality.
Lol
😂😂😂
This special had me crying laughing the two times I watched it and this clip got me multiple times.
She sounds like the female version of bobcat goldthwait
Lol!! Good one
Holy shit you're right 😂😂
Michelle is truly awesome too bad it seems she don't get many specials like in 2017,clearly the media didn't appreciate her jokes because she mocked them and of course their politicians.
I mean her material is pretty weak.
This is the first time I've seen her in a special not talking about politicians
@Len Murphy Spoken like a true virgin.
Len Murphy that’s all guy comics talk about too...
Len Murphy I just assumed since her jokes about penis size obviously struck a nerve with you. But I guess toxic masculinity has a different taste of genre of comedy. No judgment here 👌
"Ya know in boxing if you punch someone in the liver it's illegal" Amazing delivery didn't ruin it by explaining or adding just left it out there.
“ I have a short torso” lol
"porridge" but you get it 😂
"It's an honor killing"
D E A D
Man that was rude of her. but with here potatoe like body posture she may shall not shame. the size of nothing makes her attrative to me but i dont have to be rude about it. and its a body quality like color breast or height. i find this not funny but insulting and a death asumtion is forbiden in my nation i belive. if you have teeth like a horse kill yourself??I think this would be concidered a insult and not funny. i understand your frustration.
@Tyler Simmons crying?? i understood it to be a vehicle to enhance conciousness and to help strengthen the feminist and equality movement.
but if you prevere to life outside from empathy or your selecting its your topic.
i dont need you do agree with me.
But if i say a girl with small tits should kill itself its would be correctly criminal.
and i dont wish her to be criminalised.
What i wish for is understanding and the greatness to admit mistakes.
Fatshaming is nthing against this. becaue you can stop eating so much.
I dont cry. because i have respectfull company. it´s called honest brave and respectfull to her art. she is devinetly funny and educational. and i can disagree and still like her performance but suicide??
Maybe you shall cry in a corner that there is respectfull oposition.
i can tolerate her emotional incompetenc.
@Tyler Simmons maybe the understanding issue is only your problem because the lack of interest to do so.
@Tyler Simmons herself XD not native to the language.(just because i asume you to argue with no argument but my difficulties in a diffrent language. try mine )
@@manuelmamann5035 you make perfect sense.
You can be leader of the small Peepee gang.
"you know, in boxing when you punch someone in the liver it's ilegal" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
It's nice to see Carrot Top getting some gigs...
She has a joke about that.
And as usual, it’s hilarious.
Being large is a responsibility...you have to feel it out and act accordingly
Seems like you would need a healthy cardiovascular system to keep the blood flowing though. I overheard girls talking once and they stated that 'stiffness' beats girth every time.
A lot of female comediennes need to take notes from her. THIS is funny!
I'll describe it as medium porridge next time ladies, so you know what you're dealing with.
Getting punched in the liver in boxing is NOT illegal but I understand what she's saying 🤣
I know this is trivial but a liver punch in boxing is legal.
Ikr
Good point. Perhaps she should have said uterus
@@hyzercreek perfect 👍
liver is more funny than kidney
That's what she said.
Watching this on Starbucks WiFi while silently weeping
Every man needs to listen to this. She is so correct!
Since when did carrot top start huffing helium?
Of course the boxing experts come out and miss the point.
Right?
There was no point, she was wrong.
So there’s a chance🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
No
You got a nice apartment?
@@PokeFanEmpoleon house
Do you text back?
Kanađanka yes I do
This is funny every time I see it.
Her delivery in these jokes have gotten so much better, she used to have such bad delivery and it seems she has gotten better with experience
A punch to the liver is not illegal, it hurts like hell but not illegal.
The liver has no nerve endings. it would your ribs and skin that hurt.
I like the "announce sizes" idea. People get what they want that way, although there's still the skill issue. 🤔
@ any argument for that or...? You're just gonna leave it there. As a woman I definitely see her point..
@@nicoleowens2318you see her point "As a woman" that men with small penises should "kill themselves"? Really? You think that a young impressionable kid watching this should feel that way about himself? Again, she's a moron. And if you agree with her, so are you.
@ dude I was just asking you to specify, I didn't know what you were talking about. I think it was a terrible thing to say, but I am not the person who decides what's funny in comedy, so if I don't laugh I tend to ignore it. I've heard comedians joke numerous times about dead babies, but my 7 month old daughter died, I've heard them joke about cancer or COVID, but my step-dad died of one and my bio father the other. That shit hurts when I hear it, but I don't attack people for being insensitive because I'd be no better. There are things that are funny to me because they don't affect me, but are paralyzingly painful to others, case in point. I thought you meant the size thing in general, which to me was practical as a woman. We really don't know what we're getting until the last minute. The suicide joke, nah, I don't find that funny at all, because men aren't defined by their size, and suicide isn't a laughing matter to me, but I am so desensitized I guess, I forgot about that joke when I read your comment, I didn't know what you meant. Like dead baby jokes, I've had a few friends commit suicide, one only a month ago, it's not funny at all. Please, if this joke makes you feel some kind of way, know that most women don't view it this way at all. Size jokes actually make me feel inadequate too as a woman, I wonder if I'm tight enough sometimes, I think we all have our issues. What she said there was terrible and not funny, and I'm sorry if I added to your hurt. Please don't take her joke personally. I mean it, most women, and probably she doesn't even really feel that way, it's about shock value..
@ the thing about that is, comedy is subjective. People laughed, just like people laughed at the dead baby jokes. I agree the joke wasn't funny, to me, but all you can do is not watch it, or if you get a chance to meet her, tell her how you feel about it. Short of that, what can you do? Comment that she's a mean, hateful, moron? I don't know if that helps. It made me pay more attention to that shitty joke I guess. But I tend to believe it's up to us to toughen ourselves up, rather than policing what others say. I believe we trigger each other for the very purpose of showing where the healing needs to happen. Maybe that's way out there for you, I'm just sharing my opinion.
Love her. One of the funniest (and intelligent) people out there. All her bits are killer.
Totally!
Bits 😂
Finally a lady comedian that's actually funny we should really support her
The good thing about Wolf is that she hasnt got an extremely annoying voice.
... wait a minute
I like her voice
Why do you hate dolphins ?!?!?!?!
Goldilocks 😂😂😂
A guy and his wife went to see her doctor to ask a question. The woman was pregnant. They asked if was still okay to have relations. The doctor replied, "yes, as long as you're careful".
The child was born and placed into his father's arms for the first time. The baby looked up at his father, then used his finger to poke his father's forehead very hard several times, saying with each poke, "how - do - you - like - it?"
😅😅😅😅😅