So important is explaining "how they work and why they matter" I have zero recollection of my parents explaining why some social traditions were important. I have recollection of my mom ordering me to not ask "why" questions, so the reasoning they had behind so many irrelevant-to-me tasks, gave me no value in those tasks, and I left the nest and dumped all those traditions as the parental punishments and rewards systems went away as I moved out. To get me to do things I dont wish to do, give me motivations (other than punish/reward) so I'd be willing to do any of those uninteresting tasks. Explaining the importance behind the task (aside from my parents common "because I said so") is so vital to getting someone to do something.
Thank you. So what I’m framing it as is a cookie 🍪 that helps others recall positive feelings. I did not know how to define an Information Loop until you described it as not wanting to feel like you’re speaking to a void. That hit a personal memory of mine where I kept working hard for a group of people and no one said thank you for my hard work, it felt like I was sending out all my work into a void. I would like to use the concept of “echo” whereby we need an echo back to even know that we reached someone else. Or maybe an alien planet. I’d like to know more about writing a personal letter to someone who has had a positive influence.
Yes, when you’re working so hard for others it’s nice to know that it’s making an impact. Maybe it is, but you don’t know that unless they say something. And a thank you is a really nice way to experience that.
I always saw thank you notes as superficial, but maybe because my love language is not words but actions (reciprocation, caring, empathy, consistency), but I'm always curious how others see it, so thank you for the deep-dive. Did I just say thank you? Oops, but until they discover how to hug someone through the phone screen it will have to do, so thank you :)
You may have help me realize, that positive experiences dont imprint a strong memory in me. Negative experiences imprint such a strong memory, I cant forget my traumas even if I tried my best to forget, they are rock solid like footprints in concrete. I have to work hard to find positive memories. Those memories are as elusive as seeing an owl flying at night. Like a needle in a haystack. My mind really is different than most other peoples.
So important is explaining "how they work and why they matter"
I have zero recollection of my parents explaining why some social traditions were important.
I have recollection of my mom ordering me to not ask "why" questions, so the reasoning they had behind so many irrelevant-to-me tasks, gave me no value in those tasks, and I left the nest and dumped all those traditions as the parental punishments and rewards systems went away as I moved out. To get me to do things I dont wish to do, give me motivations (other than punish/reward) so I'd be willing to do any of those uninteresting tasks.
Explaining the importance behind the task (aside from my parents common "because I said so") is so vital to getting someone to do something.
I hate it when people just say “because I said so.” It really does matter why.
@@autismchrysalis Agreed! The reasons do matter!
Thank you. So what I’m framing it as is a cookie 🍪 that helps others recall positive feelings. I did not know how to define an Information Loop until you described it as not wanting to feel like you’re speaking to a void. That hit a personal memory of mine where I kept working hard for a group of people and no one said thank you for my hard work, it felt like I was sending out all my work into a void. I would like to use the concept of “echo” whereby we need an echo back to even know that we reached someone else. Or maybe an alien planet. I’d like to know more about writing a personal letter to someone who has had a positive influence.
Yes, when you’re working so hard for others it’s nice to know that it’s making an impact. Maybe it is, but you don’t know that unless they say something. And a thank you is a really nice way to experience that.
I always saw thank you notes as superficial, but maybe because my love language is not words but actions (reciprocation, caring, empathy, consistency), but I'm always curious how others see it, so thank you for the deep-dive. Did I just say thank you? Oops, but until they discover how to hug someone through the phone screen it will have to do, so thank you :)
Glad this was meaningful for you! Thanks for sharing that!
You may have help me realize, that positive experiences dont imprint a strong memory in me.
Negative experiences imprint such a strong memory, I cant forget my traumas even if I tried my best to forget, they are rock solid like footprints in concrete.
I have to work hard to find positive memories. Those memories are as elusive as seeing an owl flying at night. Like a needle in a haystack. My mind really is different than most other peoples.