Banning phones in government!

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  • Опубліковано 19 лют 2024
  • The Prime Minister has a great idea about phones...
    Satirical political comedy sketch from the comedian Matt Green.
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  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 67

  • @Tulkash01
    @Tulkash01 4 місяці тому +42

    “Always looking out for number 1” is a perfect quote for 99% of political satire

  • @weswheel4834
    @weswheel4834 4 місяці тому +33

    From the BBC: "Mr Benton was caught breaching Commons rules by offering to lobby ministers and table parliamentary questions on behalf of gambling investors. Mr Benton said he was "deeply disappointed" by the decision and claimed there had been a 'lack of integrity' throughout the process, which was 'prone to regular leaks at every stage' " Got to feel sorry for Mr Benton, all around him everyone else is lacking integrity while he's working on a good, honest cash-for-questions scheme :D

  • @kevrussell5972
    @kevrussell5972 4 місяці тому +37

    Hang on a minute Matt my phone’s ringing 😂

  • @sandrafrancis3631
    @sandrafrancis3631 4 місяці тому +2

    Right on!😂👍

  • @oldgreybeard2507
    @oldgreybeard2507 4 місяці тому +29

    Excellent as ever. We all need a laugh with this bunch of rogues er sorry, ministers

  • @acolli777
    @acolli777 4 місяці тому +3

    Phones banned in classrooms, meanwhile lots of MP's always on their phones whilst in the HoC. Don't mention the tractor porn guy!

  • @tsr207
    @tsr207 4 місяці тому +27

    Perceptive as ever Matt- today's "snook" distraction is.... mobile phones in schools (despite the small detail that most schools decided on their policy months ago!). Anyone hear his speech to the NFU this morning ? Think he has been coached to do a low monotonous drone in the hope that people will fall asleep !

  • @rogergreen2695
    @rogergreen2695 4 місяці тому +23

    And how many MPs in parliament have used phones in use. Wasn't there an MP who was watching porn on his phone-twice?

    • @tompearce3610
      @tompearce3610 4 місяці тому +9

      He was spotted twice, goodness knows how offen he did though...

    • @mochynddu723
      @mochynddu723 4 місяці тому +1

      Tractor porn!

    • @algrant5293
      @algrant5293 4 місяці тому +1

      Scott Benton, he was mentioned 😅

    • @bigpants6121
      @bigpants6121 4 місяці тому +7

      he said he meant to look at tractors! Tory boy's at it again!

    • @weswheel4834
      @weswheel4834 4 місяці тому +10

      @@algrant5293 That was Neil Parish. Scott Benton got caught offering cash-for-questions to a gambling firm, and then had the gall to complain about the lack of integrity of someone who secretly recorded him arranging it :D

  • @leocordeiro81
    @leocordeiro81 4 місяці тому +3

    “The reason why the sun never sets on the British Empire, is because God doesn’t trusts the British in the dark.” Professor Maximilian Arturo

  • @steves7013
    @steves7013 4 місяці тому +1

    🙏 just "Classic Matt' 🙌

  • @asahdo
    @asahdo 4 місяці тому +27

    Almost three thirds 😂 seriously though when will they just be gone already 😢

    • @Smoothjock
      @Smoothjock 4 місяці тому

      Not until they get their backsheesh from the Americans taking over the NHS!

    • @Demun1649
      @Demun1649 4 місяці тому

      I thought the same, but why "almost" 3 thirds? Who are these black sheep who are not adopting the herd mentality. They should be named, and shamed, and tarred and feathered, and tied naked to the lampposts outside Westmonster.

  • @timrome728
    @timrome728 4 місяці тому +6

    Love it. Especially the Scott Benton bit, him being my MP and me looking forward to voting in a by election 😂😂

  • @justjane2070
    @justjane2070 4 місяці тому +9

    Almost 3 thirds 😂

  • @roderickmain9697
    @roderickmain9697 4 місяці тому +6

    Three thirds of MPs .... Having watched Rasheed Sunook doing his bit behind a sign saying NFU (I wonder what that stood for? No F Use?) I definitely needed this.

  • @sarahadams6691
    @sarahadams6691 4 місяці тому

    Brilliant! Soooo looking forward to seeing you on Sunday night! #edinburgh

  • @belindablunderbus1365
    @belindablunderbus1365 4 місяці тому +7

    Matt Green is bloody brilliant on Papercuts too. Love his work.

  • @gmann6269
    @gmann6269 4 місяці тому +1

    Ollie Reeder when Malcolm keeps ringing him repeatedly.

  • @TheEvertw
    @TheEvertw 4 місяці тому +1

    Can't pick the punch-line to quote, too many to choose from! This one was brutal!

  • @sarkybugger5009
    @sarkybugger5009 4 місяці тому +4

    Not so much "a kicking" as "grinding into the dirt."
    Bring it on.

  • @Alan-xxxxxx
    @Alan-xxxxxx 4 місяці тому +1

    Brilliant as ever.. And your show in Brighton on Thursday was even better than expected - hope you make a return visit soon

    • @MattGreenComedy
      @MattGreenComedy  4 місяці тому

      Thanks! And I’m really glad you enjoyed the show!

  • @jennyc5417
    @jennyc5417 4 місяці тому +4

    The Thatch portrait is a nice touch. Presiding over nonsense and b.s. - the inexorable fate of a Party which hasn't managed to evolve since her 1950s ideology.

  • @zetectic7968
    @zetectic7968 4 місяці тому +3

    Another really good video that hits all the right buttons👍

  • @willsumnall3499
    @willsumnall3499 4 місяці тому +1

    "Almost three thirds"; excellent.

  • @nickimags1335
    @nickimags1335 4 місяці тому +4

    Brilliant! 😂

  • @Anmeteor9663
    @Anmeteor9663 4 місяці тому +6

    Sorry Matt. Start again, I was on the phone whilst simultaneously tweeting the convo to Moggy, the Haunted Victorian Pencil, at GB bees "news"

  • @vivienclogger
    @vivienclogger 4 місяці тому +7

    I've now got to google Scott Benton....
    Oh: and if anyone hasn't seen Matt live yet, go and get a ticket - if I drove from Colchester to Brighton to see him, then so can you... 😁

    • @MattGreenComedy
      @MattGreenComedy  4 місяці тому +1

      Thanks Vivien!

    • @yippee8570
      @yippee8570 4 місяці тому +2

      I don't want to go from Colchester to Brighton. Where even *is* Colchester anyway? I am going to Newcastle on Thursday, though 😄

    • @bigpants6121
      @bigpants6121 4 місяці тому +1

      Benton was suspended and lost his appeal. I believe the Sunday Times nobbled him.

    • @woofpet
      @woofpet 4 місяці тому

      Great stuff as always. Shouldn’t Graham Brady have had a wee cough, cough mention there too? 😂

    • @vivienclogger
      @vivienclogger 4 місяці тому

      @@yippee8570 Colchester is in Essex. It has a huge statue of Boudica, even though she burnt down the town and slaughtered its inhabitants, back in AD60. We voted for Brexit and have a Tory MP. Embracing massive acts of self harm are clearly our thing.

  • @Traceva
    @Traceva 4 місяці тому +1

    3 Thirds! 😁😆😁😆

  • @Clivestravelandtrains
    @Clivestravelandtrains 4 місяці тому

    I saw your live show in Glasgow last night and thanks for making me laugh so much! Even the one-liner from the Chinese girl in the audience was great "What are you doing here in this country?" you asked - "I keep asking myself that too" she replied!

  • @tinagibbs618
    @tinagibbs618 4 місяці тому +1

    Great as usual. xx

  • @dfishpool7052
    @dfishpool7052 4 місяці тому +1

    And don't forget the opportunities for researching what the best tractor might be as Neil Parish did! Great stuff; Matt - keep them coming - your presentations are esesential for the mental health of the nation at this time of tory manufactured crises!

  • @jane-elizabethgee7251
    @jane-elizabethgee7251 4 місяці тому +2

    🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼

  • @SkyEcho7
    @SkyEcho7 4 місяці тому +1

    😂😂😂

  • @jyvben1520
    @jyvben1520 4 місяці тому +1

    but how will they call a friend ?

  • @wildman2012
    @wildman2012 4 місяці тому

    Seven fifths of them are phoning it in anyway.

  • @staninjapan
    @staninjapan 4 місяці тому

    Almost three thirds. It’s nearly four quarters

  • @bigpants6121
    @bigpants6121 4 місяці тому +2

    Benton brought on that irritating cough!

  • @user-xd9yo3le7o
    @user-xd9yo3le7o 4 місяці тому

    New Cabinet Office directive that in future government communication will be by smoke signals only, fire extinguishers at the ready.

  • @mattsyson3980
    @mattsyson3980 4 місяці тому

    cantaloup, the French satire show that airs most evenings at 21:00 (TF1)? had a clip of Rishi and his phones disturbance rant last evening. I feel a comeback of the old boris Becker 'you can't be serious' catchphrase reappearing across Europe when the english ask or expect something which is now subject to Brexit changes.

  • @nothereandthereanywhere
    @nothereandthereanywhere 4 місяці тому +1

    I'm still waiting for the satire 🙃

  • @ThoughtandMemory
    @ThoughtandMemory 4 місяці тому +1

    😂 all hail the algorithm 👍

  • @BusstterNutt
    @BusstterNutt 4 місяці тому +3

    how about ministers having phones record what they say for the House of Commons minutes,and it won't let them do a factory reset to hide the Whatsapp`s......Richie Sunak Boris Johnson

  • @nickthenoodle9206
    @nickthenoodle9206 4 місяці тому +1

    😆

  • @domgould5113
    @domgould5113 4 місяці тому +1

    ......

  • @richardhorner855
    @richardhorner855 4 місяці тому +1

    But are you ever coming to Bristol?. I know its off the beaten path but got to be worth a visit if only to pretend to toss a statue into the harbour for UA-cam views.

  • @maryclynch9356
    @maryclynch9356 4 місяці тому +1

    Matt you are so wasted as a comedian
    Come and be the Scottish First Minister tomorrow. Then we can all get a dhot at the £110, 000 campervan. Fancy a wee trip to Orkney? And could you ask Hamas for our £750,000 back, so we can home our homeless ?