Every Conservative Conference speech!

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 15 тра 2023
  • With two Conservative Conferences this week in the UK, what have they all been saying?
    Satirical political comedy sketch from the comedian Matt Green.
    See me live! www.livenation.co.uk/artist-m...
    Join my mailing list for early access to live shows and more! eepurl.com/dzEicb
    Follow me on Twitter! / mattgreencomedy
    For more information see www.mattgreencomedy.com
    To support me and to find exclusive content go to www.ko-fi.com/mattgreencomedy
    Get a personalised funny video message from me at ko-fi.com/mattgreencomedy/com...
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 226

  • @dondoodat
    @dondoodat Рік тому +315

    A sensible, straightforward and forthreich speech.

    • @jeremymerrifield7244
      @jeremymerrifield7244 Рік тому +14

      clever

    • @ogribiker8535
      @ogribiker8535 Рік тому +10

      😂😂😂

    • @tonyb9735
      @tonyb9735 Рік тому +12

      I see what you did there.

    • @billybobthornton9668
      @billybobthornton9668 Рік тому +12

      Just one like isn't enough!!! 😂🤣🤣🤣

    • @RichWoods23
      @RichWoods23 Рік тому +17

      @@billybobthornton9668 Then don't just give a single thumbs-up but raise your right hand proudly into the air, again and again!

  • @31Blaize
    @31Blaize Рік тому +125

    I still think this was less loony than the actual conference 😂

    • @MattGreenComedy
      @MattGreenComedy  Рік тому +39

      Yes the actual speeches are genuinely frightening at times

    • @31Blaize
      @31Blaize Рік тому +14

      @@MattGreenComedy Absolutely terrifying! I'll be giving myself nightmares if I consider Cruella Braverman for one second as PM 😰

    • @allmodcons2274
      @allmodcons2274 Рік тому +7

      It is very scary.

    • @ToCoSo
      @ToCoSo Рік тому +7

      @@MattGreenComedy yep there was some guy who was complaining that they are going to try to stop hate speech and this will affect freedom of speech!!

  • @ToothbrushMan
    @ToothbrushMan Рік тому +64

    Very soon we'll be seeing armbands as acceptable form of ID at polling stations.

    • @frankshailes3205
      @frankshailes3205 Рік тому +2

      The previous Nat-C/Nazi Party had a little badge.

    • @aminechakak6460
      @aminechakak6460 Рік тому

      Liberals asked for papers to go grocery shopping pal.

    • @martynjones8560
      @martynjones8560 Рік тому

      Then, a little later, they'll be the ONLY form of ID.

  • @tx5190
    @tx5190 Рік тому +7

    ... at that point I was asked to leave Madame Tussauds...😂😂😂

  • @clydebear6914
    @clydebear6914 Рік тому +6

    "Look, uniforms with armbands ARE practical!" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @SamLowryDZ-015
    @SamLowryDZ-015 Рік тому +30

    Yes the party is the 'Nat-C' party and yes you can 'see guile.'

  • @Armetheon
    @Armetheon Рік тому +30

    Can we just appreciate the level of effort that went into the backdrop for a second

  • @stevedrane2364
    @stevedrane2364 Рік тому +3

    Brilliant. . Please attend their conference. . 🤣🤣

  • @andrewneil6027
    @andrewneil6027 Рік тому +14

    2:45 “This country is broke, yes we did that…that means we can put it back together” 🤯
    U🤟

  • @nickthenoodle9206
    @nickthenoodle9206 Рік тому +43

    I prefer the terms Voter Distillation and Electorate Correction - Both fantastic and sadly true.

  • @sarkybugger5009
    @sarkybugger5009 Рік тому +6

    Give them all a gold star and pack them off to Centre Parks for a well earned holiday.

  • @eifionlewis7765
    @eifionlewis7765 Рік тому +6

    Vicious but fair. And terrifying.

  • @Anmeteor9663
    @Anmeteor9663 Рік тому +18

    How can this stuff even be the subject of British satire? Truly terrifying that it has come to this.

  • @Ology3121
    @Ology3121 Рік тому +66

    Johnson is ahead of the curve on off spring. Rumour has it the total number of children he's spaffed equates to the total number of Conservative seats they'll hold after the next election...😂😂

    • @frankshailes3205
      @frankshailes3205 Рік тому +3

      Sadly the offspring will be thick, as the mothers all have the IQ of a tadpole. They must do to breed with him.

    • @kevincox-qc9mc
      @kevincox-qc9mc Рік тому

      If only that were to come true it would be a very good thing

  • @Rami-ll2bq
    @Rami-ll2bq Рік тому +31

    when satire is truth n news is satire, we in deep shit

    • @capt.bart.roberts4975
      @capt.bart.roberts4975 Рік тому

      I have two theories at the moment,
      1)We've taken a wrong turn down the trouser leg of time and into a satire universe. 😐
      2)David Icke maybe on to something with the Reptilians! 🙃

    • @ambient675
      @ambient675 Рік тому +4

      So deep.

  • @tartytube
    @tartytube Рік тому +4

    "Some kind of patch" - so scary! Sent shivers through me. Brilliant as usual.

  • @Rami-ll2bq
    @Rami-ll2bq Рік тому +15

    god forbid population start to think for themselves! the whole system of lies would crumble!

    • @davidwuhrer6704
      @davidwuhrer6704 Рік тому +1

      A famous politician once said: How fortunate for the rulers that people don't think.

    • @Rami-ll2bq
      @Rami-ll2bq Рік тому

      @@davidwuhrer6704 the more i hear politicians speak, the more obvious it is that they really speak as if we all idiots, sad truth, the majority is. scared of foreigners while all murdrers i seen are from right here!🥲🥲

  • @hmallett
    @hmallett Рік тому +4

    It’s only because of this that I realised that the “inspiring quote” was from Gladiator, not from Gladiators.
    “Contenders, ready! Gladiators, ready!”

  • @patrickyorke3028
    @patrickyorke3028 Рік тому +15

    Absolutely superb Sir, unfortunately for us all just a little tad too real. .

  • @seanduggan3453
    @seanduggan3453 Рік тому +3

    There are so many gems in this one. As the one seagull said to the other at the beach "There's hardly any need to aim."

  • @tsr207
    @tsr207 Рік тому +11

    Accurate as ever - Matt is now the main "goto" political source- now that the BBC news channel has given up ,(sorry, Prime minister have to stop you there - we need to let BBC World show a commercial while we show a feature on guide dogs!),
    Brilliant !

  • @zetectic7968
    @zetectic7968 Рік тому +67

    So many zingers packed into 4 minutes. Really on form with this! Not so much poking fun at the Con-servatives, more dropping an anvil on them 👍

    • @minskysfeedbackyianni1302
      @minskysfeedbackyianni1302 Рік тому +1

      @Zetectic You're not comparing the Tories to Wiley Coyote are you? Ok, fair enough!😉

  • @allmodcons2274
    @allmodcons2274 Рік тому +20

    I did think satire died over the last 13yrs. Thank you for reviving it. If you don't laugh, vendetta becomes a real thing..😱

  • @Zero_Ninety
    @Zero_Ninety Рік тому +6

    Never thought I'd see a NatC rally in the UK.

  • @VerbalEarthworm
    @VerbalEarthworm Рік тому +10

    Spot On! 🎯

  • @rosemarystewart7405
    @rosemarystewart7405 Рік тому +57

    Hilarious as always Matt. Viciously and accurately funny 😂❤

  • @TheReubstar
    @TheReubstar Рік тому +5

    The strange thing is that this speech probably could have been made at the conference and taken seriously!

  • @Tr1ckady
    @Tr1ckady Рік тому +18

    Hilarious and sadly accurate

  • @fromgermany271
    @fromgermany271 Рік тому +5

    „just because Germany messed it up“
    I thought sending V1/2 was giving a hint, but looks like every kid needs to try the hot plate on it’s own.
    😂😂

  • @SkyEcho7
    @SkyEcho7 Рік тому +5

    '...& I don't want to be surrounded by dead birds - unless I shot them.' 😮😞

  • @JohnAllenRoyce
    @JohnAllenRoyce Рік тому +9

    Oh Matt, you keep giving me hope for humanity and it hurts so much. 😂😭

  • @martincopeland8153
    @martincopeland8153 Рік тому +5

    You can just see that 30p ex-miner, ex-Labour-Councillor President of Vice dressed in his Brown Uniform with its colourful armband; admit it you too have already had nightmares with him dressed that way and the Horst Wessel playing in the background. It’s what keeps us woke all night screaming.

  • @ZolaClyde
    @ZolaClyde Рік тому +11

    Perfect takedown of Suella’s horrid speech! 😂

  • @boxsterman77
    @boxsterman77 Рік тому +6

    It's amazing how the right-wing here in the US resembles that of the UK.

  • @izzytrue8630
    @izzytrue8630 Рік тому +9

    More babies!!! I imagine the Tories will have to get rid of the bedroom tax!!!

    • @Levenstone132
      @Levenstone132 Рік тому +2

      Not much chance from that audience. Thankfully.

  • @Grim_Beard
    @Grim_Beard Рік тому +10

    We're one nation Conservatives: one people, one nation, one leader. Oh, and we think we finally have a solution to the 'immigrant problem'.

    • @narannavan
      @narannavan Рік тому +1

      ​@@roberttownrow3606 exactly

  • @neilrabbetts7703
    @neilrabbetts7703 Рік тому +6

    Oh what fun was had at the NAT-C event, you may even say it was a NAT-C Rally

  • @marvintpandroid2213
    @marvintpandroid2213 Рік тому +10

    The Nat.Cs

  • @TheEvertw
    @TheEvertw Рік тому +5

    "Unless I shot them"
    priceless

  • @maryfenton958
    @maryfenton958 Рік тому +4

    I love this man, he makes me .laugh out loud! Just what I need!❤😂

  • @stevena488
    @stevena488 Рік тому +3

    Sensible Conservative Babies, for a Sensible Conservative Britain.
    Brought to you by AMERICA.

  • @kevincox-qc9mc
    @kevincox-qc9mc Рік тому +3

    Lovely as always Matt. Exposing the dark, terrifying stupidity of this scion of the current government.

  • @weswheel4834
    @weswheel4834 Рік тому +6

    Nicely setup, starting with "spoken with Thatcher" :D

  • @soylentgreen326
    @soylentgreen326 Рік тому +5

    Matt Green for PM ❤
    Policies by Tussaud’s 🎉

  • @TheBearAndHer
    @TheBearAndHer Рік тому +4

    The line between conferences and rallies is beginning to become a little blurred methinks but that just might be due to me using the reading glasses I got out of a cracker at Christmas - can't recall what dear lady's name was now. Anyway, this marvelous speech has cleared up the woke-induced erectile dysfunction in my right arm a treat - it is now sticking out and as rigid as a broom handle. And...... as a result the number 19 bus is stopping to let me get on for once. Hoorah! This was brilliant Matt. Top hole quality throughout. Thank you.

  • @breadcircuses6085
    @breadcircuses6085 Рік тому +18

    Brilliant as always!

  • @klmn2000
    @klmn2000 Рік тому +7

    Always on point, always hilarious, always intelligent comedy!
    Would the scientists please, please hurry up and repair the time machine that brought Moggie here from the 1800s? And can they make room for any more (like 50% of the tory cabinet and some back benchers?)

  • @henrygingercat
    @henrygingercat Рік тому +6

    Mr. G. has obviously been ghost-writing for the current conference; if not then it's uncanny.

  • @lordbiro
    @lordbiro Рік тому +5

    Horribly accurate 😂🤣💥

  • @Mudge07
    @Mudge07 Рік тому +10

    Silly season is now officially open, thanks Matt. Post-election Blues blues singing from the balconies and rafters across the hinterland.

  • @chrissilver7719
    @chrissilver7719 Рік тому +5

    National socialyyyyyyeeehh 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @hypereze
    @hypereze Рік тому +45

    “There’s nothing wrong with Nationalism per se, just because Germany “mucked it up” a couple of times… “
    Seems like you went a bit far with that one for comic effect, except grotesquely I believe it is an actual quote from this week.

    • @ai-d2121
      @ai-d2121 Рік тому +1

      Perhaps chauvinism is a better term

    • @martincopeland8153
      @martincopeland8153 Рік тому +1

      @@ai-d2121wasn’t Chauvin some sort of froggy johnie?
      Can’t have that.

    • @smorris12
      @smorris12 Рік тому +9

      Yep, a real quote. I heard it and my mouth literally dropped

    • @minskysfeedbackyianni1302
      @minskysfeedbackyianni1302 Рік тому

      @smorris12 Haven't heard about that, who said it?

    • @smorris12
      @smorris12 Рік тому +1

      @@minskysfeedbackyianni1302 Didn't catch who it was. It was a passing bit in today's News Agents podcast

  • @steves7013
    @steves7013 Рік тому +4

    Nails & heads spinning to mind! You nailed it again Matt 🙏😂✊✊

  • @robertbruce7686
    @robertbruce7686 Рік тому +5

    CON is the word!

  • @leocordeiro81
    @leocordeiro81 Рік тому +14

    “Our young people need to feel they have a place in this country, because after Brexit we made absolutely sure they have no place in anyother country.” 🤦🤦🤦🤣🤣🤣

  • @capt.bart.roberts4975
    @capt.bart.roberts4975 Рік тому +10

    You do swivel eyed tory so well.

  • @andrewgn7430
    @andrewgn7430 Рік тому +3

    Amazing… British politics must be the top rated show in the English speaking world by now! Truly - it swims between fiction, reality and nightmare 😮
    You are a great guide Matt! Cheers

  • @mdkram
    @mdkram Рік тому +27

    I can guarantee an out-loud laugh with your skits, Matt. Great stuff!

  • @rsfaeges5298
    @rsfaeges5298 Рік тому +4

    😂
    Worth waking up for!
    (In North America)

  • @Amstermouse1
    @Amstermouse1 Рік тому +5

    Brilliant 👏 😂

  • @jacquelinedeigan776
    @jacquelinedeigan776 Рік тому +4

    Love it.. absolutely brilliant..😅😅

  • @iainprendergast8311
    @iainprendergast8311 Рік тому +7

    You’re almost been too kind, but you still at have out done yourself, well done.

  • @ambient675
    @ambient675 Рік тому +5

    This was perfect.

  • @tonguelessghostofsin
    @tonguelessghostofsin Рік тому +4

    🤣 Superb stuff Matt!

  • @connclissmann6514
    @connclissmann6514 Рік тому +7

    More Conservative conferences! 😊

    • @verttikoo2052
      @verttikoo2052 Рік тому +1

      😱 Nooo 😱 It means that we are going to have the Tory leadershit contest again 😭 Oh the horror 😱

  • @timmieboy37
    @timmieboy37 Рік тому +11

    Brilliant and right on the button as always! Thanks Matt!

  • @cdean2789
    @cdean2789 Рік тому +2

    That headmistress was scary.

  • @garytaylor6408
    @garytaylor6408 Рік тому +5

    Outstanding!

  • @eileenclark7744
    @eileenclark7744 Рік тому +3

    Brilliant

  • @burner9147
    @burner9147 Рік тому +5

    I used to think how can these tory villains get any worse.
    And now they are openly fascists.

  • @Rami-ll2bq
    @Rami-ll2bq Рік тому +7

    🤣🤣🤣

  • @sulalee7413
    @sulalee7413 Рік тому +3

    I'm convinced! A patch it is then. 👍

  • @johannesvandenheuvel-1
    @johannesvandenheuvel-1 Рік тому +5

    Wow! A topical layer cake filled with ingredients from the conservative underbelly. I immediately 'rewound' it for a second helping...

  • @veegerman6135
    @veegerman6135 Рік тому +2

    'Some sort of patch' Amusingly chilling!

  • @kacrichton4434
    @kacrichton4434 Рік тому +1

    Should be top of trending!! SPOT ON!

  • @leegosling
    @leegosling Рік тому +4

    Don’t be silly, be a smarty, watch out for the NatC Party

  • @peterrenn6341
    @peterrenn6341 Рік тому +2

    "some sort of patch?" - OUCH!

  • @mattyb7183
    @mattyb7183 Рік тому +8

    There is three days of this nonsense (!!!) Of a conference.
    I'm half expecting that by day 3 someone will be recommending that all undesirables should be "concentrated" into particular areas, where a "solution" could be suggested to deal with all the woke...

    • @davidwuhrer6704
      @davidwuhrer6704 Рік тому

      They did in in Natal (now South Africa). It worked so well others tried it, too.

  • @bahialynch3037
    @bahialynch3037 Рік тому +1

    Brilliant thanks 😂😂😂

  • @mcjs8640
    @mcjs8640 Рік тому +6

    So scarily accurate. Funny and frightening at the same time. Very effective - but did you really have to bring up Thatcher? 🤢 I nearly brought up my tea!
    Carry on with the excellent work Matt. No-one does it quite like you! 👍

  • @jenlewis9002
    @jenlewis9002 Рік тому +15

    Brilliant Matt! I mean, I presume this is your work and not just repeated verbatim. It's so hard to tell these days

    • @MattGreenComedy
      @MattGreenComedy  Рік тому +9

      Sadly more of it is verbatim than I'd like!

    • @jenlewis9002
      @jenlewis9002 Рік тому +5

      @MattGreenComedy if we can hopefully get rid of this lot next GE and a more normal government mean the comedy is more sparse, you've defo got the option of writing speeches for the swivel-eyed loon conferences for extra income, if needed.

  • @aland155
    @aland155 Рік тому +3

    Superb!

  • @nickjanczak9665
    @nickjanczak9665 Рік тому +5

    They just need some really nice uniforms designed and manufactured for them by some descendent of Hugo Boss!

    • @johnpoile1451
      @johnpoile1451 Рік тому

      AEG can do you a good price on ovens as well.

  • @johnledington6242
    @johnledington6242 Рік тому +4

    He's a funny guy

  • @J0MBi
    @J0MBi Рік тому +2

    He saved the best lines to the very end, but it's all 🎯

  • @Mark21767
    @Mark21767 Рік тому +4

    Great stuff
    😂😂
    Thanks Matt

  • @ivanotoole26
    @ivanotoole26 Рік тому +6

    One point of order Matt - Its 'Pieeewtin' The posher the NatCon (I'm liking that term), the more likely they will add a few vowels to old Vlad's name.

  • @adrianrutterford762
    @adrianrutterford762 Рік тому +3

    Nice Work Mr Green

  • @SavvyMoneyShow
    @SavvyMoneyShow Рік тому +6

    The problem with tory parody is it is hard to tell it from the truth

  • @amanred9337
    @amanred9337 Рік тому +3

    He reminds me of David Cameron

  • @neiladam2832
    @neiladam2832 Рік тому +9

    No need to watch the reports on this festival of the insane. I take it that 90% of what Matt said was taken verbatim from these ghouls?

    • @nalodailec
      @nalodailec Рік тому +4

      Sounded like that to me. Almost word for word in fact.

  • @Alex-cw3rz
    @Alex-cw3rz Рік тому +4

    Another great video

  • @jakeharries8097
    @jakeharries8097 Рік тому

    Spot on.

  • @jeff__w
    @jeff__w Рік тому +1

    1:38 “voter distillation and electorate correction”

  • @xzcvdfxzc7256
    @xzcvdfxzc7256 Рік тому +6

    National Conservatives or NatCs for short

  • @moorecomedy
    @moorecomedy Рік тому +1

    So so good!

  • @reidflemingworldstoughestm1394

    I thought "Oh, this time he's talking about America" right up until you said United Kingdom.

  • @zora_noamflannery2548
    @zora_noamflannery2548 Рік тому +2

    - Word for word applies to us here in the States. How is that? International intrigue is afoot.

  • @piccalillipit9211
    @piccalillipit9211 Рік тому +1

    YEP - that pretty much sums it up...

  • @geoffreynolds4740
    @geoffreynolds4740 Рік тому +1

    My I did enjoy it. Clever clogs comedy!