We’re not taught to be wives, we’re taught to be hyper-independent, get our degrees, get a well laying career, and etc. Especially if you were raised by a single mom, like me, it was drilled in my head to become hyper-independent, and was not taught what makes up a good man. I wasn’t taught also that it’s okay to want to marry a good man. Child I had to start therapy and began working on this, and praise God I’ve met an awesome man, a good man
@@inmytravelstodaycts indeed you hit on the nail women pursue education so they won't experience the same pitfalls their moms where in, my mom did the submissive having children staying home & all that still didn't keep my father in place alcohol & women had a stronger hold on him then what he had at home✨ So women focus on self until God send that upright man!
@@divine9100 stop finding excuses to be independent. There will ALWAYS be a bad situation to every thing. The point is that the GENERAL consensus should NOT be focused on independence. And it should be FAMILY. Thats why the black commnity doesnt have that. Theres also a downside to independence. A lifetime of loneliness. Whats the point of going after this stressful job eveeyday just to come home to nothing. Youre better off at mcdonalds for all that.
I was Valedictorian of my high school. I was on the basketball team, in AP classes, won the Florida State Forensics Championship, Was Male Student Of The Year, and did acting. My high school sweetheart (who I knew I could be with for a lifetime) broke up with me for a drug dealer who dropped out. This literally happened. I carried that weight around for years. But I had to let it go. Stay bitter or get better, that's the only choice life gives us. I'll never forget that, but I can't let that be the only chapter in my story. Life (and dating) does get better fellas. Don't give up on yourself, trust me.
and i want ALL black woe-men to know that this happens to MILLIONS of black boys and young men every year. so enough already with the gaslighting that y'all don't be chasing the bad boys
@@mgtow-balance3409 you only know hoes if you know hoes. If you can't name a church or a bakesale you've been to in the last year, that's on you. Good men know where good women go. The others don't, complain about the loser women they are around.
My sister left a church and family loving young man for a bum that doesn’t work and smokes weed all day. I hate that mfer with a passion and he’s living in my grannies house for free. Im moving back there soon to set the house in order.
“It doesn’t matter who you like, who likes YOU?” Honestly the best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten was to pick from the pool of men who are interested in me and to not pay any attention to who I like. I’d say it’s the sole advice that got me married. I started to focus on who was in my orbit, then compared them all to see who was the most sincere. I’m so glad I did because I would have been so sorry to miss out on my husband. He’s only gotten more attractive and more precious to me over time❤
it all boils down to being patient and realistic (observation is a key) the more anyone REALLY loves oneself, the more chances are that they won't pick someone who will treat them bad and be able to love and appreciate the one that treat them well.
@nnekaonyiloforYou are just a misorgnistic pick me girl. And for an Igbo woman, it's even more crazier. Acting like the reason most black women are single are not because black men are nothing to write home about. They are weakest link in the community, no job, no education but rather several jail terms. When will women like you wake up and actually hold these men accountable? When? You act like you can't see the deplorable state of black men. Which reasonable black woman wants to have any thing to do with a demographic that is known for robbery, illiteracy and felonies. This is 2024, this pick me behaviour needs to stop.
Agreed. Too many women have this Disney princess or power couple fantasy and that is not what works in marriage. The only reason to get married is to raise children and the greatest gift a woman can give a man is children and to help nurture the children into successful citizens. That experience of raising children together is a sacrifice and that builds love.
In arrange marriages, two people meet and build everything from scratch, they build romance and love and everything all from scratch.. it goes on forever, their divorce rate is 1% ... but in Western culture marriage, divorce rate is 55% and its a whooping 75% in second marriages
She is so correct, I used to work with a Chinese lady who told me when she was in dating mode, she tried to date the the most handsome guy she could find, but when she realized it was time to marry and start a family, she didn't look for just looks anymore, she looked for character and stability
@@negative949The post KS era has vindicated the h3ll out of me. I dropped out of the dating pool over 7 years ago, and before that had begun to date non BW exclusively. In the end most of em are the same. It's just that, like everything else toxic and degenerate, it's more pronounced in our community. It's been hilarious to watch the dudes that called me a sellout end up with crazy baby mammas and non stop drama. Now they look at me like "dam you was right dog". 😂
@@sdneytaco2226 Thank you for checking 🙏 these sellouts. They are looking for validation for abandoning the black community. My sisters are doing their best to survive so many adverse oppressions since slavery. And it has become apparent that one of our black community's biggest obstacles, unfortunately, are certain black men... and they have gotten worse... as if that were possible. How dare people put down my sisters for getting an education 🎓 👩🏽🎓so they can take care of themselves and their children 😤 and rise out of WS oppressions. Meanwhile, the bm making babies and leaving our children fatherless, and impoverished financially and emotionally at epidemic proportions, then blaming the women that try to raise our babies alone. 💥And WHY do these fools keep coming onto our channels??? Leave my sisters alone. I can't stand them. Why don't they feel contented with the "others" that they have put above their black heritage. They disgust me. BTW. I am happily married w children, have 5 degrees I'm just getting agitated by the unmitigated gall of these disgusting sellouts bm. Stop getting on our channels! Leave my young sisters alone. Shut the heck up and go somewhere... nobody cares!
My aunt, who is fit, feminine, beautiful and inspirational. Lost her husband to a stroke. He was a mailman, later became a postmaster general I believe. She was on all the boards, making 6 figures. Large figure and mentor with her sorority sisters. She lost her husband when she was in her early 70s. She found another man not too long ago, he was a simple man, but a great man who I respect. She's never been alone. Thats what these modern women don't get. Find a man based on his character, not his income or lifestyle.
Lifestyle is a killer for many women. They will claim up and down there not all about the money, but then want man to have his own everything, be able to support her, and be able to take her out, travel and etc. they don't seem to realize it's the same thing.
Character isn't what it used to be today. As someone whoknkows many women like your aunt- integrity is where many a man has fallen short with those high caliber women that I know.
& that would be OVERSEAS! Colombia, Panama, Belize, Brazil, Thailand, Philippines, Africa If you fancy a Black woman. Also India, Arabia. Germany, Denmark, Sweden amongst other places in Europe If you fancy a White woman. Point is is that BLACK MEN ARE HIGHGLY DESIRED ALL OVER THE WORLD GLOBE & that is a factamundo! Every since the PASSPORTBROS went viral, global literally THOUSANDS of women from 2cnd, & 3rd world countries have been PUTTING IN THEIR BIDS VERBALLY & BECONNING WE MAERICAN BLACK MEN TO COME BE WITH THEM facts & they are VERY AWAR of the ABUSE, NEGLECT, DISRESPECT, & MISTREATMENTS that we are being undeservingly FORCED to deal with & given by our OWN UNGRATEFUL Black AmeriKKKan community fefail members! These FOREIGN WOMEN ARE SHOWING & PROVING that they will literally treat us/you/ i.e Brothaz LIKE KINGS & MANY REFER TO US AS THEIR KINGS IRONICALLY as well when they make videos from their countries more facts. American Men, but American BLACK Men in specificity are HIGHLY SAUGHT AFTER bkz typically we for one HAVE AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP, MAKE MORE $$$, are typically more HANDSOME, TALLER, MORE WELL BUILT PHYSICALLY, we also TREAT WOMEN VERY FAIRLY/WELL & we are KIND, SWEET, ATTENTIVE, we are SELF CONFIDENT & NOT THREATENED BY A WOMAN HAVING A JOB/CAREER ETC & so on. MORE PRETTIER/BEATIFUL AESTHICALLY/PHYSICALLY THAN AMERICAN WOMEN
There's no single reason why most black females are single/ unwed. As a black woman I do find an astronomical count of other black women who are simply insufferable in terms of attitude posture & general thought processing. Seriously, it's hard to tolerate us even as friends; I couldn't imagine being a man trying to cope on an intimate level. And there's nearly no point in communicating bc we largely only hear what's validating; none of what's corrective bc we can't be wrong. It's a big mess.
🗣Repent Israelites all praise to the most high YAHAWAH AND HIS SON YAHAWASHI🤴🏽🦁🔥🛸⌛️ The so called black man, Latino, and Native Americans are the Israelites. Yahawah chosen people. That are scattered in all nations through our fathers. Making them Israelite foreigners/Scattered sheep/The multitude. Yahawashi speaking: Matthew 15:24 “But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” Deuteronomy 7:6 “For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God: the LORD thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth. Deuteronomy 32:39 “See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand.” Luke 12:51 “Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:
I remember being turned down by black women nonstop in my teens and 20s for being a nerd, being focused on my studies. I studied, founded a company and started making serious money, by default I dated white women as they were the only women who were interested in me, black women would not match with me on dating apps, and women of other races happily came on board, so I married a white lady, only to find I would get stares from black women when I took my wife anywhere, I was also called a sell-out. I find it eye-opening that so many black women are single when they have turned the process of belittling and rejecting black men into a hobby.
Yup! About 20 years ago I was walking back from lunch with a colleague. This was on 125th street a bit east of the Apollo. I'm a skinny white dude 6'1" and he's a BM 6'5", muscles, dreds, gorgeous, brilliant smile ......... and gay as a goose and more than a bit flamboyant. Well..... the Looks of Death I got from every BW between 15 and 85 blew my mind! I was half expecting them to hurl their shopping bags at me.... But all I could think to myself was, "Ladies, even if I spontaneously combusted as you clearly want, he still wouldn't be available! He's very happy with his boyfriend!!!" smdh. I later asked a another colleague who was a BW what was up with that. She laughed and said, "He could've been covered in rainbows & glitter and twirling like a ballerina and it would'n't've mattered. They just saw you two and thought, 'Another one off the market'. That he was never on the market to begin with was irrelevant."
Sorry you went through that but people gotta be more careful and stop making this one sided. Your story is a literal copy of what I went through and I myself am a woman. I think it's that on both sides its just crappy, the women and men who are kind hearted and nerdy get tricked and carry this hatred and do it to the next. It's sad to watch. You wouldn't believe how the woman's spaces and man spaces all sound bitter but exactly the same. It's scary to watch
@@jazsmans9523 I’m skeptical, since women are the sexual selectors, it’s unusual for men to turn down women. In the rare circumstances I have personally witnessed it it’s due to the woman having a terrible reputation for promiscuity, I’m not suggesting you have such a reputation. We’re you rejected by black men simply because you’re a black female? This doesn’t sound like the majority of black men.
As a bm I noticed at an early age, mid teens, that a great number of black girls used a totally different and backward criteria when picking a boy to talk to and date. And as these girls mature physically into women, this mentality becomes even more twisted and abnormal.
I got married when I was 24. (16 years now) I'd love to help where I can. Getting married was one of the best decisions I made. Wouldn't change it for anything.
I wish I could be married I'm in my early 20's now. congrats to you but do you have any advice for single women like me wanting marriage but also dating outside my race?
KJV Ecclesiastes 7:26 And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth Yahawah shall escape from her, but the sinner shall be taken by her. Ecclesiasticus 25:24 “Of the woman came the beginning of sin, and through her we all die.” Ecclesiasticus 25:13 “Give me any plague, but the plague of the heart: and any wickedness, but the wickedness of a woman:” Ecclesiasticus 26:7 “An evil wife is a yoke shaken to and fro: he that hath hold of her is as though he held a scorpion.” Ecclesiasticus 26:8 “A drunken woman and a gadder abroad causeth great anger, and she will not cover her own shame.” Ecclesiasticus 26:9 “The whoredom of a woman may be known in her haughty looks and eyelids.” Ecclesiasticus 26:10 “If thy daughter be shameless, keep her in straitly, lest she abuse herself through overmuch liberty.” Proverbs 6:26 “For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.” 2 Esdras 16:49 “Like as a whore envieth a right honest and virtuous woman:” Proverbs 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Proverbs 9:13 A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing. Ecclesiasticus 26:11 Watch over an impudent eye: and marvel not if she trespass against thee.” Ecclesiasticus 26:12 “She will open her mouth, as a thirsty traveller when he hath found a fountain, and drink of every water near her: by every hedge will she sit down, and open her quiver against every arrow.” Ecclesiasticus 26:25 “A shameless woman shall be counted as a dog; but she that is shamefaced will fear the Lord.” Ecclesiasticus 25:16 “I had rather dwell with a lion and a dragon, than to keep house with a wicked woman. Ecclesiasticus 25:19 “All wickedness is but little to the wickedness of a woman: let the portion of a sinner fall upon her. Ecclesiasticus 26:23 “A wicked woman is given as a portion to a wicked man: but a godly woman is given to him that feareth the Lord.” Proverbs 30:20 “Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.” 1 Timothy 5:6 “But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.” Lamentations 4:3 “Even the sea monsters draw out the breast, they give suck to their young ones: the daughter of my people is become cruel, like the ostriches in the wilderness.” Isaiah 3:24 “And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of we’ll set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty.” Micah 7:10 “Then she that is mine enemy shall see it, shame shall cover her which said unto me, Where is the LORD thy Yahawah? mine eyes shall behold her: now shall she be trodden down as the mire of the streets.” 1 Corinthians 11:3 “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Yahawashi; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Yahawashi is Yahawah.” 1 Corinthians 11:8 “For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.” 1 Corinthians 11:9 “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” 1 Timothy 2:13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.” 1 Timothy 2:14 “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” Genesis 3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” Ecclesiasticus 36:24 “He that getteth a wife beginneth a possession, a help like unto himself, and a pillar of rest.” Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Yahawashi is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Yahawashi, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 1 Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 1 Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. Job 39:17 “Because Yahawah hath deprived her of wisdom, neither hath he imparted to her understanding.” Isaiah 3:12 “As for my people, children are there oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.” Proverbs 31:3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.” 1 Esdras 4:26 “Yea, many there be that have run out of their wits for women, and become servants for their sakes.” Isaiah 4:1 “And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name to take away our reproach.” Romans 15:4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. Ecclesiastes 1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
Spot on. One overlooked side effect of this is that the marriage material black men realize they aren't wanted for marriage and they look for wives in other places. So not only are our sisters vetting the wrong men, the "right" men are going to other races where they can be appreciated for the kind of man they truly are.
This is super refreshing. I'm one of the few black women that gets it. I just started dating this guy and I instantly saw that this was a quality man. I'm teachable and want to be a woman of value that sees the big picture. ❤
I can tell your not stupid. Your practicing birth control so you don't destroy your life. Tell all your friends. Do you really think he's going to pay child support? Let me guess. He stops by when he feels like it. Throws a few bucks at you and asks for sex. Sound familiar? Get a court order.
My Ex Of 4 Years Dumped Me At 22 For A Street Guy..I Ran Into Her In April Of This Year & She Looked Out Of Her Wits Mentally & Physically..After A Brief Conversation & Learning She'd Been Burned By A Bunch Of "Bad Boys", She Wanted To Exchange Numbers So We Could "Catch Up" 🙄..I Loved Telling Her How I've Been Married 29 Years, Have 5 Children & 4 Grandchildren..Guess Who Had Egg On Their Face??
I had this one female friend in college. She was mexican. She was in our nursing study group. Every week she was crying over another guy. The worst one was she was flown out to the state he was and for some reason things got violent where she had to run out and escape him. She asked me one day that how can she find the man she’s supposed to marry. I asked her “if you ever needed a kidney, how many of the guys you’ve dated would offer you one of his kidneys?” She didn’t respond but I knew she got the message. Today she’s married to a man that very different from the guys she was dating in college. I think the issue is that both men and women, sometimes we chase the thrill. Deep down we know that this man or woman is not good for us but we keep going, hoping and praying that someday the person will appreciate us the way we appreciate them. It’s a losing race and time doesn’t wait. I won’t say it’s unique to just black women cos I’ve seen women of other races fall into the same trap. I think it’s just human nature. People always want things that are out of reach and they ignore the stuff that’s right in front of them
So what you're saying is your friend made all of her bad choices in life and now she won because she got a good man to commit to her that she never deserved in the first place😅😅😅🎉🎉🎉
Mostly bulllshittttt you posted. It's definitely mostly true of black women. Stop This is why black female dating coaches Are quitting And Tired of black women That's why black women Are the Least Married demographic on the planet The Least swiped on dating apps and the Least preferred demographic by Alllll men. No men from Bo races are breaking their necks to Marry nor date them. Period So Stop w the pandering dickless bulllllllllsht. The market speaks to what it wants, and the market says it Doesn't want them. The Fckn tudes, disrespect,the mouths, come on. Nobody wants that And you can't tell em sht, Never admit they are wrong With masculine uncooperative combative disagreeable tudes allll the way thru. Nobody wants that. Nobody Results prove it
Unrealistic standards? Its the attitude, the aggressiveness, the passive aggressive behavior, the shaming, insults, guilt trips, and the need to be right. No matter how successful someone is, no one wants to be involved with someone that engages in those unapologetic behaviors.
You could have stopped at "Attitude".That word alone personifies everything else that follows. They walk around mad😠all the damm time, sigh!!!,smdh!!!.
@@jan-cq5wv no one brought up the race only the behavior, right. Smh. Why can't we have a conversation about behavior and not race.. But they know if they bash black men the rest of those types will back them. They should work for the clan. They sound like the clan
ITS OK BECAUSE WE DO NOT NEED EACH OTHER ANYMORE. WE ARE BOTH BROWN ANYWAYS. WE DON’T NEED TO MAKE OUR RACE PURE, ONLY WHITE PPL THINK LIKE THAT. WE WANT ANY WOMAN BECAUSE THATS THE WAY LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE. HELP YOURSELVES THE SAME WAY WE BLACK MEN HAVE TO HELP OURSELVES
I am not jumping through hoops of fire to impress women who have rejected me for 30 years. My bills are paid, I am in perfect shape, I have built my own brand and business. However, it seems that black women need more, and they expect me to raise their children.......nope.
@@thomasprice4938 nah we are not even doing that. Who wants to get me-too'd. Get your passport, come join us. I spend 3 months a year in the US, family and business. After that am out. I just left. While in US it's Mike pence rule 247. I don't, don't talk any wahman, other than business and in the presence of other people. Am Not taking a chance.
From what I see, marriage is not the priority of many black women seeking relationships, but children are. That is why single mom and baby mama culture is so strong and common in the black women's community.
You do know that Africans American are not the only black people in this world? I’ll be really nice if y’all be specific when talking about black people in general, and say African-Americans instead of saying black women. Because Africa is full of black women and we value marriage and actually get married at a young age. You will never catch baby mama BS in Africa communities unless they are divorces so, it’ll be nice if you y’all just stick to African-Americans stead of saying black woman because other people that are not black think we’re just like African-Americans and we’re not. I got married at 21. I am 30 with four kids and happily married.
these chicks are used up and stuck in there ways with trauma from bad experiences. +high expectations bad attitudes, Not fit but overweight, No walls, bitter An a ton of em have a hatred of men.. and let’s say that they have NOT been hop skip an falling on 🍆 once they’ve been single too long they become hard to deal with an set in there ways; narrow minded as in they don’t want to compromise an are unwilling to compromise. their relationship muscles have atrophied personalities are difficult to get along with they don’t care what a man wants an with all this they have ridiculous standards especially if she’s got a degree or 💰 she thinks she’s better than she is.. when finding someone that you like is hard enuff finding someone that likes you back is harder still to set standards that skip 90% of the pop intentionally it’s Crazy to me. An is a sure way to get you disappointed, ..the subconscious root cause of all this is i think many don’t find value in men and or fathers tbh. an that’s the pink elephant in the room nobody wants to talk about. ask em about there past an they are always shifting blame but, won’t talk about the behaviors that lead their men not being in the house. they refuse to let it sink in that the guys attention:validation adoration you get while you are in your 20(s) you don’t get while you in your 40(s)+ they don’t prioritize relationships an marriage in life…then wonder why their not in a marriage or relationship lol they don’t realize their mindset is repelling what they say they want. ladies had plenty of chances but ignored em an chose not to pursue because of shallow criteria like height not even considering moral character an ethics.. you ladies aren’t alone because of men but because of you; and your choices.
Unfortunately, aggressive reforms in the family law and divorce court system are going to have to be achieved first. In addition, it should be a lot more difficult to get married in the first place, and damn near impossible to get divorced. No fault divorce has merely had the effect of stabilizing the family structure further, by permitting people, the statistics show mostly women, to leave for the most trivial of reasons, to violate their word, to show that their oh so “sacred” vowels are meaningless gibberish when coming out of the mouths of women, and cannot under any current circumstances be trusted.
I am a BM and grew up in the inner city in the Midwest. I was never the coolest guy. Was very poor and didn’t have name brand clothing. I was always respectful and kept to myself. Had me sights on many pretty black woman from grade school to high school and was rejected by most of them all because I was not a popular guy or dope boy. I ended up marrying a PR woman who realized my worth and potential. Now when I go back to the high school reunions I see all the used to be popular women big as hell and unmarried and divorced trying to hold on to the memories of when they used to be the it girl.
My son feels the same way. He was never cool in school, never into wearing Jordan's, he was always skate boarding and wore Vans sneakers. He told me black girls weren't into him. I told him to love and date who accepts him for him. Needless to say, he is very much in love with a womam of several mixed races (I can't remember them all lol). I am a black momma who loves regardless of color. ❤
I’m a dark skinned Latina, and I’m attracted to black men. I come from a household where gender roles were defined. I learned to be a wife, cook, clean and I’m financially savvy. However I’m single. I refuse to go back on dating apps. I’m thinking to date other races of men again. It’s hard out there for both genders. A lot of black women think that they need to act like real housewives of whatever, but the media has been detrimental for us. Many black men think being players, or fathering children with a multitude of women is just part of being a man. Unfortunately black men (including many Caribbean men) seem to like to be playboys. I think I will branch out to men that have active fathers in their lives and have learned to be more balanced men. PSA-to black women, you are not weak when you use your feminine energy. Unfortunately, the players specifically, mistake femininity for weakness. Get men that value you and consistently show it through their actions.
Where have you been - and are you available - or do you have any sisters??? I'm a Marine Veteran who's definitely not a player. I'm divorced (about ~13 yrs now) and have been solidly single for the last almost 6 years (no hookups). Reading your post gives me hope......
Many of us arent taught how to love, how to accept love, how to be soft and vulnerable, to be a woman or a wife. We are taught to be strong, independent, self-reliant black women who dont need a man! This is refreshing to see
So basically you're saying Black men were right. Money and education alone dont change gender roles in the Black community all together. You ignored every single inconsistent adolescent toxic sign chasing (your 2nd childhood) excitement. We dont finish last. We just dont finish with you. A third of the world across all nationalities cultures and economic classes still pay dowrys. What have they fundamentally figured out about the value of maintaining family structures that makes no sense to us.
I have to disagree with your comment, you may not been taught to be a wife but to love comes does come natural. And when women say being independent can you make love with your paycheck. Stop making excuses on why you cannot, even independent women humble there self, try it you might be surprised what your missing.
Thank you for this I’m a black woman who is married but grew up around a bunch of single women mothers struggling to provide for their kids men in and out of their lives no father around we strive better together this is needed I had to unlearn so many things ladies please work on yourselves every day
This video is spot on. Back in high school, as an academically-inclined 'nice guy', I couldn't get any play with the sisters. Once I got to college, I became more of a 'nasty batchelor', recognizing that many sisters were more into style (and swag) than character and substance. So, guess what? I couldn't keep the ladies off me during that time, while openly stating I wanted no commitments and dated other women. It's insane! Eventually, I met a lovely, quality sister during my doctoral program, and we have been married for 24 years. Before meeting her, I strongly considered broadening my options to other races of women. When I arrived at graduate school, I would go out to the clubs occasionally. While there, I saw the sisters from graduate school, presumably among the best and brightest of our women, chasing dope boys. So, even some of our highest-caliber women also prefer cads and criminals over quality men of character. It's sad.
Because they have more swag and confidence. It’s the sad truth. I personally need it all; attractive, character, good conversation, career and purpose driven, God fearing
Well sadly many are paying the price now. I think it bothers on having low self esteem and it is not just isolated to women. Self denial is very common. Kudos to you and your wife.
@@TheFearlessBabe It takes confidence, diligence, and perseverance to pursue and earn a doctoral degree. The return on investment for the above efforts is a legal, long-term, and very comfortable standard of living for my family. Fortunately, my wife had the foresight to play the long game with me and follow my vision for our family. I wish more brothers like me could also find sisters who appreciate quality, hardworking men with purpose.
Most women are missing the point. I have an older and younger brother and they both have told me that marriage is out of the question for them until they change the marriage laws regarding divorce. They say it’s just not worth the risk, and you know what? I don’t blame them one bit.
That’s cool because you can get the male perspective 1st hand. One thing that I noticed is that women who are close to their fathers, brothers, and/or sons have a better understanding. They may not always agree, but they can empathize.
wow. your brothers are right. they should fly overseas and experience TRUE femininity. it's like a super drug. a woman that talks soft, move soft, never interrupts even when **I** interrupts her, smiles all the time, etc is addicting... compared to the women that says "bro".
As a person who’s been through divorce the person who makes more is the one who potentially suffers. This is not gender specific just ask Mary J Blige, Wendy Williams, Halle Berry, etc etc. And it happened to me. People always go after money men included; it’s unfortunate, but I feel the same way as a woman. I would never enter into a legally binding relationship again.
Most black men and women don't have a healthy example of a good family structure. So a lot of us dwell in this fantasy world of relationships. Some of the young men think about being Ballers or getting all the women. The young women are saying well I'm not going to have the struggle like my mom did; I want a man that make a lot of money and he has to have swag at the same time. Sorry for the old school references. I'm an old-timer. My wife and I will be celebrating 27 years of marriage this September.
So let me get this straight, it's men's fault because we think you like ballers? What kind of mental pretzel gymnastics are you doing? Men chase for what they want you don't go into a store and accept what the store gives you, you pay for what you want and men don't want these modern women that's why you don't get the men it's simple economics. Keep blaming men not realizing you should compete you will be left without one
I've been saying this: The Blk community collectively needs a mental health program of deep psychotherapy of at least 3-6 months - before we can even begin to put our perspectives back in order again. Decades of maltreatment and abuse has left most of us in a state of not knowing which way is up or what's actually productive as a human. You cannot move on from life's traumas and truly prosper if you're still hanging on to a lifetime of unresolved anger, resentment, and trauma passed down from parents to children - or trauma passed down from greater society (read: YT society) to your demographic (ala racism, bigotry, social segregation, and WS).......
Men have been saying this for years, but no man has ever been able to tell a woman anything. And we are now finding women can’t tell a woman anything she doesn’t want to hear.
Your choice as a woman matters. Who you give your womb to matters. My mother had a baby for a drug dealer (ME). She was 19 and that’s who she chose. Luckily he was very active. Even when she was bitter and tried using me as a weapon. He still tried. But MOST black children aren’t as fortunate as I am. It literally starts with our women and who they give their WOMBS to.
@@takkmckinleyimstraightenup2619 It’s literally the same bum dudes having children. I got one guy in my neighborhood and he’s has 12 CHILDREN 5 DIFFERENT WOMEN. There are more like him here.
It's sad and true. I know many too. It's like they never learn their lesson until later on in life. The guys be doing that stupid stuff. The girls keep letting them as well like fools and clowns.
Fellas, if she ever drops an F-bomb the first time you upset her, end it there. It just shows the amount of disrespect coming in the future and you cannot undo it.
The problem is that a lot of women want to catch the bad boy with their bodies then try to get them to fully commit and adopt the husband traits that the men they don’t want have while still maintaining the essence of the bad boy they were drawn to initially. Essentially they’re trying to build their perfect husband because in their minds the only good man that exists has to be a perfect man for them according to their specifications. Which doesn’t work. Women aren’t stupid, they know damn well what a good man looks like regardless of how much they try to feign ignorance and speak to the contrary. They’re far more socially inclined than men are and are far more detail oriented socially. They also have a wealth of knowledge at their disposal throughout their development in the sisterhood and various forms of female centered media. Then there’s the fact that the majority of PS/JHS/HS teachers are women. So they’re hit with feminist indoctrination early. So when women say “I didn’t have a male role model in my life to show me what a good man looks like” that’s nothing more than a bvllsh!t attempt at maintaining plausible deniability. Especially when they’re already well into adulthood. They grow up turning down these men for most of their adolescence and young adult lives. A lot of women even categorize these men as “lame” and “boring”. How can women say that don’t know what a good man looks like yet have a entire category dedicated to them? The bottom line is women want what they want when they want it. what they want is seldom ever static outside of the nonnegotiables like height, income status etc. and they will only except exactly what they want or nothing at all. Anything else would be considered settling for them. The absence of humility and accurate self assessment will keep women single for a very long time.
co-signed i also believe the root cause of all this is i think many don’t find value in men and or fathers tbh. an that’s the pink smoking flying elephant in the room nobody wants to talk about. ask em about there past an they are always shifting blame. but won’t talk about the behaviors that lead their men not being in the house. they refuse to let it sink in that the guys attention:validation adoration you get while you are in your 20(s) you don’t get while you in your 40(s)+ they don’t prioritize relationships an marriage in life…then wonder why their not in a marriage or relationship lol they don’t realize their mindset is repelling what they say they want. ladies had plenty of chances but ignored em an chose not to pursue because of shallow criteria like height not even considering morals character an ethics.. you ladies aren’t alone just because of men but because of you; and your choices.
@@jayclearmen411It’s amazing how women don’t seem to understand this. There are virtually limitless options for them. But they always go for a certain guy while the rest of the men are sitting around being ignored. Then they complain about being lonely. Also you can’t tell them anything so of course they are going to continue the mentality of plausible deniability self righteousness and lack of accountability. Essentially they believe it’s everyone else’s fault and there’s nothing you can do that will change their mind. They have to change it for themselves.
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasnt going to let my marriage of 18years crash
My God, you are refreshing.. Thank you for representing our community in such a positive manner.. you are beautiful both internally and physically beautiful. We need more of you speaking to our young ladies.. once again, thank you 🙏🏾
I tried to find the right woman to marry, but I was labeled too corny, too lame, or acting white. My character became a curse or a weakness. My lack of kids became a reason to hate. I said cool and I moved on. I've only been single for 6 mos, but I've been single off and on for the past 3 years. My mantra now is to not even look anymore. I don't approach, ask for numbers nor accept any contact information. I let a woman give me her number, then I threw it away. I just don't care anymore. I'm happier single and I will continue to enjoy my life solo. I find videos like this interesting because it shows me what is happening in the intersexual relationship world.
keep it moving brother. get your passport and definitely fly overseas. you will not regret it. What you are and have is what other women need, want and crave. the women here are just spoiled and raised terribly by their single mothers.
@Pump da Brakes pump ya brakes homie! Not all of us and do t forvet there are a ñot of spoiked, broke entitled lazy busted down men that were raised correctly by great parents n still became bums so stop. It goes both ways. That is why my husband is Italian and not black.
I was married for 30 yrs faithfully and there is know way you will love and know a person with out perseverance , trust and forgiveness love will come when you first begin to love yourself ☺️💕
Things I've experienced. Raised by a single mom, hyper critical mother, no male role models, issues with authority figures, no value or respect for authority figures, no guidance with dating. Lack of nurturing, care, and support and trying to get it through fucking around. Terrible communication skills. Non existent conflict resolution skills. Selfish ways. My way or the highway. Terrible attitudes, behaviors, and tantrums. Avoiding dating altogether and substituting with Netflixing and chilling instead of learning healthier behaviors and how to properly date. No longer single and slowly working through these things. Single again. I got frustrated once we moved in together with his mom and daughter so I left
One extreme viewpoint doesn't balance another extreme viewpoint. It's important for women to like who likes them. It's also important for women to operate with wisdom and long-vision about the quality of the guy she likes. In a marriage, you need to "like" each other.
When do women operate with wisdom. You can't choose the wrong man and then frustrate your self and him because after 5 kids you recognise that he doesn't suit your ever changing delusion
Many women conflate standards and preferences. Someone being employed can be seen as a standard, however wanting someone making 6 figures plus is a preference. * NOT my preference just stating an example *
7:28 it took me until my 30s to realize this. And then someone told me "go with the girl who likes you, not the one you like". $#!t the shit goes smoother with the person who actually want to be there with you.
May I ask you something??? With dating the person who likes you but let's say you don't like them. Are you still happy? Do you feel that it's a void with not being with who you truly wanted?😊
It's really hard to tell us BW anything. We see other's struggle and let them continue. We ask ppl not in those roles for all the advice. Talk to older, married women who have a similar path that you want. Yes, we know you don't want their lives but get advice from those on the journey.
Trust me, they ain't trying to hear it, I got one married because she listened, she was doing to much 😂, so one did listen to me from a married womans position, her wedding was 😘😘 👏👏
@@PSYCHDEGREE63 and do you know WHY that is? simple, it's because *women are smarter than men; however, men are way, WAY more intelligent there's a huge difference between the two words (*coined by MGTOW-Balance)
I was twice divorced and married in my forties and have been sharing what I learned for the last 3 years about my journey. It’s like the wild Wild West for women over 40.
Thanks sister for your insight. 1st time I heard you. I thought there was no hope. The way black women interact with and think of black men nowadays, makes me believe we are in the middle of a raging "gender war". It is refreshing to hear you talking!
One of the biggest issues creating difficulty for women understanding what to look for in a man, is that so many have not had a good male model in their lives. They have less awareness of what manhood is than most young brothers.
These conversations are important as black men and women need each other in order for our community to thrive, healing & understanding is required on both sides.
The BM abandoned the BW & his family decades ago when he got with the NFL, NBA, and making money. A BW was the last thing on his mind. When Becky took all his money, now he wants to come back to the BW. Too LATE! BW have their own BAG, home, car, career, degree, good credit, business, traveling the world, etc. all WITHOUT a man! She learned she couldn't depend on a BM for nothing! Brad is now MARRYING BW, who BM claim the WM didn't want. You all lost a queen sleeping with a 304. BW are living their BEST life and don't "need" a BM. Get your passports and go.
As a pastor, I have been teaching young women that for a long time: Don’t who marry he who you love, but marry who loves you and you will be a queen throughout your married life. When a woman is married to man she loves, she will strive all the days of her life working hard trying to please him; but she is married to a guy, I mean a man, who loves her, it will be the other side of the coin.
@dorvilfamily5446 if that is what you preach, what type of pastor are you? your type of message will only breed lazy and irresponsible women who dont feel they have any work to do to get a man. if you want women to be married to a man who loves her because you want her to be treated as a queen, what about the man doing the loving? what happens to him? is marriage all about being treated as a queen? what about the man? does he not deserve to be treated as a king? who will do that for him? obviously, you are not teaching these ladies that they need to serve their husbands but only to expect to be treated as queens
At this point and after all these podcasts and videos, I’ve realized that I don’t bring much to the table, so I’m bowing out of the dating field gracefully. Bout to start focusing on what lights me up and inspires me instead. Have fun y’all.
Iktr!! Ppl so damn shallow and judgmental and they swear they got the answers for our life. Like they gotta come with some new advice because a lot of this bs be coming in one ear and going out the other 🤷🏽♀️ LLAB😂😂😂😂 how bout I just do me and only leave it to GOD to judge me.
I’m a Marriage, Relationship, Divorce and Dating Coach, I must admit that everything mentioned in this video as hard as it is for me to say this, it’s true ❤ But I have also realized that there’s a lot of influence that a lot of Women have endured and become either a product of their own environment or throughout their early teen to mid adult years, they’ve seen things that were acceptable and not wrong nor was it ever corrected! Thanks for being transparent and sharing your thoughts with us ♥️🙏🏽🙌🏽💯
When men date women for many many years; and say they are still not ready for marriage In your mind; what would be valid reasons for this way of thinking? I've spoken to various friends about this and men/women have varying degrees of opinions. What say you ?
My "Marriage Experience" with my supposed Black Queen was TERRIBLE. It was so traumatic on me that I literally felt like I was in a Civil War. It gave me PTSD & I never served a day in the military. I don't even want to date no more & risk opening my heart to such heart ache. Y'all can keep marriage. Marriage is for fools & babies and I ain't neither no more.
@@nnekaonyiloforThis person's experience is an excellent and all too familiar example as to why "getting married" is not and should not be "the goal". Technically, anyone can find a mate and get married. However, a loving, happy, compatible, life-long committed, kind, sharing, compassionate, respectful marriage is a whole different thing and definitely goal worthy.
Allow God to heal you. I’ve gone through a horrible marriage but this time I gave it to God and He truly out did himself. I wish you all the best my brother and as your sister I really hope you are blessed with all your hearts desires. 🙏🏽
It's crazy how a lot of people are so self absorbed and locked in to their beliefs on everything. They can't really experience things fully and develop character to appreciate somebody with character and vulnerability.
@@mishikijayanna3184 Your rebuttal is the reason I posted. Do you know the meaning of condescending? So………….what should you learn to marry a quality Husband? A lady does NOT “get” a “good” husband. She earns his love and loyalty. As does a Man. Marriage is not an a financial acquisition or trophy. If your first thought is not for your mates well being you will fail at marriage. Stop your ignorance. It is not flattering.
@@dohcsmr1175 Asking a simple question is condescending? I'm just asking what does a man have to do to earn love and loyalty. You've already stated what a woman needs to do to earn love and loyalty.Now what does the man have to do? Nowhere in my question have I said anything about finances. Point out a single instance of ignorance in my question.
@@mishikijayanna3184 Fair enough. The same. No difference between the Man and woman. A relationship is a work in progress. BOTH must except the mistakes that will be made. Infidelity from either is unacceptable. My grandmother told me the difference between a husband and wife is the man never remembers and the woman never forgets. Both must work at these flaws. Also let the man lead. Speak to him about your concerns. Understand it will not always be to your liking. If he dismisses you then he is not a good man. Good men listen to their wives.
Everything starts in the home this isn't a cultural issue. I often blame the parents for this epic failure. My mother often told me as teenager to stay away from 304 and fast women. Her advice has saved me thousands of dollars in the long run.
Your mother advised you right. They are literally parasites in every community. It's the dark Spirit that has taken over. You be the light that the world needs. Trust me...God sees it all.
And that's wealth!. We often exclude wealth from knowledge in terms of oral tradition passed down from generations, Frameworks, Concepts, institutions. Infact what we call Tradition, Religion and Culture,is the blueprint of what has been created,managed and passed on from generations to generations under the sun, and the Why and How/Way it was achieved.
This video was excellent!! Great advice was given and wisdom! Thank you for creating this video ❤. I am a black woman that is enjoying marriage as we speak. I had to wait for GOD to send my husband because he had to prepare us both for each other. But I am the happiest I have ever been! All glory be to GOD who is able to perform miracles; including turning a female into a feminine godly lady!
It has become so difficult, a few of my boys have stopped going after who they wanted, me included, and started just to like who likes them. Because the women who are being pursued are really wanting someone else. But the one who likes you (this is for the men), she may not be exactly what you thought you wanted but if she RESPECTS you! And when you are with her its PEACEFUL! and then you feel LOVED, that's all a hardworking man really needs. No matter how much you're making. I've dated beautiful women: The Most Insecure. I've dated corporate women: The Need To Be Right was so exhausting. This is a black people problem that must get fixed. Our families are fractured and youth is LOST. Y'all be cool.
The truth is all of us men and women no matter the race need to go to therapy and do the inner healing work for our childhood traumas so we can attract better partners or spouses if marriage is the goal! Inner healing work or trauma work through therapy will help raise your self awareness to avoid the mistakes your parents made in the past! 💛💛💛
The Root cause is Money. The second women started to make more money the more they became unbearable. We were married at an 85% rate pre 1965 even during slavery we got married and none of us have worst trauma than the people of that generation. Like the Bible said Money is the root of all injurious things.
Unrealistic expectations yield unfulfilled dreams. Finally, the truth is being seen. Enduring relationships are founded on mutual enrichment & compromise. You're overlooking the very men possessing the qualities you're searching for. The handsome, wealthy playboy is not the husband material. The average working guy is more of a solid bet. Great video, ladies!
Rebecca is spot on and I don't blame her, for stop serving black women in match making. That's it "focus on who likes you". Love your channel Nneka..new subbie here 💜
what percentage of black women would take this great advice? 25%. that is the current marriage rate of black women compared to 80% for Latinas and Asians. my two young cousins (about to enter college), one black, one black and Asain. both are pretty. my black cousin said she wants to go to school for a career in psychology. My asian cousin said she want to find a husband. Both 17!!!! Two DIFFERENT mentality. Which one has the best probability of winning?
Oh yes you have hit the nail on the head sista!!!I am so glad that finally our sisters are getting some common sense albeit quite late for others. The truth that women need to know is in this video. thank you so much!!!
Great video. I really wish more women from our community were given this very open and honest conversation really early in their lives. You earned a be subscriber. Interested to hear more content
Black women are not single. BLACK AMERICAN WOMEN ARE SINGLE. Please make the distinction. We are not all the same just because we are the same shade. Afro Latina, African women, and south American women here in America don’t have any problems getting strong provider men to marry us.
The fact that you had to come to America (or any other Western country) to even gain access to provider males tells you all you need to know. The fact that you wear a head full of weave and clown make up just to present yourself shows that you are Americanized to the core. You fit the statistic it just applies to you differently.
I just got back from living overseas after four years and can say i totally agree with you. I’m ready to leave the US again . I love foreign black women and can’t take another look at the women in America
Focus on yourselves, bros. Get yourself right and you’ll have far more and better options available to you. That way, we can all stop talking about these women who don’t act right.
Rebecca Lynn Pope was spot on. In the dating world, I was going after a particular type of woman that I thought I was attracted to. When I was getting rejected and turned down, I became quite discouraged. Then one day I decided to sign up on a site thats seen around the world and a day later, I was blown away. I had over a 150 messages. A week later, I had over 600. 😮😮😮😁😁😁👏 what I realized is: I was fishing in the WRONG LAKE. I was so focused on a certain type of woman that I was completely ignoring the nationalities that were totally into me. So I gave it a go. Best thing that ever happened to me.
A man needs to judged by the context of his character. Not necessarily by his looks or money. Select or reject the choices are yours. Thanks for the message it has resonated
My sister, my Queen I #salute you and appreciate what you are doing. It takes a grown person to not be afraid to address the subjects that plague and hinder folks from growth. I wish prosperity and happiness for you. Thank you for just being you.
Single BW here, a Pakistani UA-camr I follow swears by the love list. So I tried it. It works wonders for the vetting process. If I attract someone who does not match the list. Then it’s a wrap. I wish I knew this 20 years ago. My first item on the list is that HE wants to be married. Because some men don’t…and I wasted a lot of time with that. ✌🏾Your moms tip about loving who loves you is golden.
Disagree. Many of my friends are attractive, educated, out-going, fit and talented. Yet, difficult to meet a man of our equal who wants a mutual commited relationship.
BM are known for intense vitriol language, angry speech which includes the F bomb, and the Nword ....BM are known for a high incarceration rate and felony rate and terrorizing their own neighborhoods why do you think every predominately black neighborhood in the US and abroad is dangerous? So please with that pleasant and nice nonsense
@@quin3379Disagreed and complaining about not finding what ya want. Yet you didn't list nice and pleasant among the traits you and your friends possess. Which is what he said is lacking in BW. LMFAO!!! YOU CANT MAKE THIS SH1T UP!😂😂😂
It’s a shame because every guy I know wants to get married and have a family. The unfortunate thing is they are also starting to date other cultures’ women. Because the needs aren’t met in our culture. There are good sisters out here. They are just being drowned out by the bad ones.
Unfortunately, many women today were not raised to be wives, mothers or to be feminine. Many of them were born out of wedlock which contribute to them being broken, chaotic and dysfunctional. They didn’t receive the leadership, protection and home training needed for their development.
The only thing I was taught about being feminine was to cook, clean & bathe. I wasn't taught what to look for & how to choose or interact. I know better now & am capable.
Very spot on. Even after recently separating from a 13-year marriage to a Japanese woman, my experience trying to date American Black women thus far has led me to conclude that I'll be going back overseas to find a new wife. South African women are some of the most gorgeous women in the world to me. So many ABW have all of these impractical physical and economic expectations that I'd rather not be burdened with.
A great video, Nneka! Shout out to Rebecca Lyn Pope for a fantastic take! My sentiments too. Also great that from your name, Nneka, you’re clearly of Igbo (Nigerian) descent. We ought to talk sometime 😊. Rob
Guys when you are younger, it seems like the dating scene is unfair to you but I promise- as you age and as you develop your career and truly find yourself.. women will start to chase you down like nobody's business. Don't rush it Kings.
I’m just glad to see sisters starting take the lead in this conversation. I’m married to a wonderful wife and I know a lot of wonderful black wives but when I ask why they don’t share what they know with other women there response is basically “why spend their time beating their head against a brick wall” While I get the logic in that it’s depressing because successful black wives speaking up is really the only hope…
I have been happily married for 8 years together for 9 years. Over the years I have tried to educate several of my friends on the tools needed for marriage and all I received in return was disdain so I moved on and shut my mouth. And you know what 9 years later they are still unmarried. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him/her drink it!
I just got engaged (interacially) but I had to crack the code myself. Every woman is different but I don't feel bad for them. ABW are the most foolish and stubborn women out there. They literally boxed themselves into a corner, destroyed all their viable options, ruined their dating pool by with out of wedlock babies, alienating other groups of men with their fake unrequested and unrequited "loyalty" to black men. They also made things harder for other black women who didn't have their mentality. They absolutely do not care what men want and do not give them what they want. If they cared, they would look and act much differently.
Does it matter when he put a ring on it can he afford the rings. Being single isn't the worst thing in this world. I'm happily married, but I was happy with me before I married my husband. Being happy & content is the goal.
We’re not taught to be wives, we’re taught to be hyper-independent, get our degrees, get a well laying career, and etc. Especially if you were raised by a single mom, like me, it was drilled in my head to become hyper-independent, and was not taught what makes up a good man. I wasn’t taught also that it’s okay to want to marry a good man. Child I had to start therapy and began working on this, and praise God I’ve met an awesome man, a good man
You don't praise God, you praise your inner spirit, God gave you.
@inmytravelstoday That's a defeatist mindset. Why don't they share the positive lessons they learned to encourage a better outcome for her daughters?
You also are not taught how to take care of yourself you should figure that
@@inmytravelstodaycts indeed you hit on the nail women pursue education so they won't experience the same pitfalls their moms where in, my mom did the submissive having children staying home & all that still didn't keep my father in place alcohol & women had a stronger hold on him then what he had at home✨ So women focus on self until God send that upright man!
@@divine9100 stop finding excuses to be independent. There will ALWAYS be a bad situation to every thing. The point is that the GENERAL consensus should NOT be focused on independence. And it should be FAMILY. Thats why the black commnity doesnt have that. Theres also a downside to independence. A lifetime of loneliness. Whats the point of going after this stressful job eveeyday just to come home to nothing. Youre better off at mcdonalds for all that.
I was Valedictorian of my high school. I was on the basketball team, in AP classes, won the Florida State Forensics Championship, Was Male Student Of The Year, and did acting. My high school sweetheart (who I knew I could be with for a lifetime) broke up with me for a drug dealer who dropped out. This literally happened.
I carried that weight around for years. But I had to let it go. Stay bitter or get better, that's the only choice life gives us. I'll never forget that, but I can't let that be the only chapter in my story. Life (and dating) does get better fellas. Don't give up on yourself, trust me.
and i want ALL black woe-men to know that this happens to MILLIONS of black boys and young men every year. so enough already with the gaslighting that y'all don't be chasing the bad boys
@@mgtow-balance3409 you only know hoes if you know hoes. If you can't name a church or a bakesale you've been to in the last year, that's on you. Good men know where good women go. The others don't, complain about the loser women they are around.
Should have gotten a white girl.
My sister left a church and family loving young man for a bum that doesn’t work and smokes weed all day.
I hate that mfer with a passion and he’s living in my grannies house for free.
Im moving back there soon to set the house in order.
How did that turn out?
Why do you have to get ran through and hit the wall before you wake up? That’s extremely disrespectful to the man who’s investing into you.
They can do whatever they want. You just get your passport. Passport bros are up 🛫
@@imdon8920 I was just about to type the same thing😅😅😅
Never wife up a woman who gave her best years to a bunch of low lifes fellas, never.
Amen 🙏 !! Oh my GOD !! Why don’t they Understand that 😮 !! ..
And I literally just posted this before I read this comment.
We not doing that anymore.
“It doesn’t matter who you like, who likes YOU?” Honestly the best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten was to pick from the pool of men who are interested in me and to not pay any attention to who I like. I’d say it’s the sole advice that got me married. I started to focus on who was in my orbit, then compared them all to see who was the most sincere. I’m so glad I did because I would have been so sorry to miss out on my husband. He’s only gotten more attractive and more precious to me over time❤
I love this!
it all boils down to being patient and realistic (observation is a key) the more anyone REALLY loves oneself, the more chances are that they won't pick someone who will treat them bad and be able to love and appreciate the one that treat them well.
The proof is in the Pudding
BW should shut up and stop making excuses.
@nnekaonyiloforYou are just a misorgnistic pick me girl. And for an Igbo woman, it's even more crazier. Acting like the reason most black women are single are not because black men are nothing to write home about. They are weakest link in the community, no job, no education but rather several jail terms. When will women like you wake up and actually hold these men accountable? When? You act like you can't see the deplorable state of black men. Which reasonable black woman wants to have any thing to do with a demographic that is known for robbery, illiteracy and felonies. This is 2024, this pick me behaviour needs to stop.
From what I've seen, a lot of our women allow themselves to be influenced by the media too much.
Social media that is
And their circle. And don't let them be single while you're trying to get at her smh.
You just said a lot
Thank you for claiming us. The “our” in your comment is very much appreciated.
*Media is ran by fake Jews*
With all due respect. One does not find love, one builds love based one actions over a prolonged period of time.
Perfectly said!...💯🎯
Agreed. Too many women have this Disney princess or power couple fantasy and that is not what works in marriage. The only reason to get married is to raise children and the greatest gift a woman can give a man is children and to help nurture the children into successful citizens. That experience of raising children together is a sacrifice and that builds love.
Love is the default
In arrange marriages, two people meet and build everything from scratch, they build romance and love and everything all from scratch.. it goes on forever, their divorce rate is 1% ... but in Western culture marriage, divorce rate is 55% and its a whooping 75% in second marriages
THIS comment right here 🏆👍🏾🔥👏🏾💯💥
She is so correct, I used to work with a Chinese lady who told me when she was in dating mode, she tried to date the the most handsome guy she could find, but when she realized it was time to marry and start a family, she didn't look for just looks anymore, she looked for character and stability
it's 2023...any man still taking black women seriously in 2023 is a dayum fool...
@negative949 I feel U, I had to leave the matrix and marry a women from a different culture- been almost 24 years of peace and love
@@negative949The post KS era has vindicated the h3ll out of me. I dropped out of the dating pool over 7 years ago, and before that had begun to date non BW exclusively. In the end most of em are the same. It's just that, like everything else toxic and degenerate, it's more pronounced in our community. It's been hilarious to watch the dudes that called me a sellout end up with crazy baby mammas and non stop drama. Now they look at me like "dam you was right dog". 😂
@@negative949the. Stop talking about us 24/7
@@sdneytaco2226 Thank you for checking 🙏 these sellouts. They are looking for validation for abandoning the black community. My sisters are doing their best to survive so many adverse oppressions since slavery. And it has become apparent that one of our black community's biggest obstacles, unfortunately, are certain black men... and they have gotten worse... as if that were possible. How dare people put down my sisters for getting an education 🎓 👩🏽🎓so they can take care of themselves and their children 😤 and rise out of WS oppressions. Meanwhile, the bm making babies and leaving our children fatherless, and impoverished financially and emotionally at epidemic proportions, then blaming the women that try to raise our babies alone. 💥And WHY do these fools keep coming onto our channels??? Leave my sisters alone. I can't stand them. Why don't they feel contented with the "others" that they have put above their black heritage. They disgust me. BTW. I am happily married w children, have 5 degrees I'm just getting agitated by the unmitigated gall of these disgusting sellouts bm. Stop getting on our channels! Leave my young sisters alone. Shut the heck up and go somewhere... nobody cares!
My aunt, who is fit, feminine, beautiful and inspirational. Lost her husband to a stroke. He was a mailman, later became a postmaster general I believe. She was on all the boards, making 6 figures. Large figure and mentor with her sorority sisters. She lost her husband when she was in her early 70s. She found another man not too long ago, he was a simple man, but a great man who I respect. She's never been alone. Thats what these modern women don't get. Find a man based on his character, not his income or lifestyle.
Yes and not on looks, swag or sexual activity.
find a man based on his character AND lifestyle lmao i'm not possibly dating a thug
@@kathleenbluestein6025 Tru Dat Allday 💯 BARS 🤯💎👌
Lifestyle is a killer for many women. They will claim up and down there not all about the money, but then want man to have his own everything, be able to support her, and be able to take her out, travel and etc. they don't seem to realize it's the same thing.
Character isn't what it used to be today. As someone whoknkows many women like your aunt- integrity is where many a man has fallen short with those high caliber women that I know.
“Go where you are appreciated and valued.”
I so agree.
When they catch a "mutated STD then they "cry out" the anyone in the medical field.
This the message right here
& that would be OVERSEAS! Colombia, Panama, Belize, Brazil, Thailand, Philippines, Africa If you fancy a Black woman. Also India, Arabia. Germany, Denmark, Sweden amongst other places in Europe If you fancy a White woman.
Point is is that BLACK MEN ARE HIGHGLY DESIRED ALL OVER THE WORLD GLOBE & that is a factamundo! Every since the PASSPORTBROS went viral, global literally THOUSANDS of women from 2cnd, & 3rd world countries have been PUTTING IN THEIR BIDS VERBALLY & BECONNING WE MAERICAN BLACK MEN TO COME BE WITH THEM facts
& they are VERY AWAR of the ABUSE, NEGLECT, DISRESPECT, & MISTREATMENTS that we are being undeservingly FORCED to deal with & given by our OWN UNGRATEFUL Black AmeriKKKan community fefail members!
These FOREIGN WOMEN ARE SHOWING & PROVING that they will literally treat us/you/ i.e Brothaz LIKE KINGS & MANY REFER TO US AS THEIR KINGS IRONICALLY as well when they make videos from their countries more facts.
American Men, but American BLACK Men in specificity are HIGHLY SAUGHT AFTER bkz typically we for one HAVE AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP, MAKE MORE $$$, are typically more HANDSOME, TALLER, MORE WELL BUILT PHYSICALLY, we also TREAT WOMEN VERY FAIRLY/WELL & we are KIND, SWEET, ATTENTIVE, we are SELF CONFIDENT & NOT THREATENED BY A WOMAN HAVING A JOB/CAREER ETC & so on. MORE PRETTIER/BEATIFUL AESTHICALLY/PHYSICALLY THAN AMERICAN WOMEN
But do not go with a man just because he likes you. You need to be feeling it too.
There's no single reason why most black females are single/ unwed. As a black woman I do find an astronomical count of other black women who are simply insufferable in terms of attitude posture & general thought processing. Seriously, it's hard to tolerate us even as friends; I couldn't imagine being a man trying to cope on an intimate level. And there's nearly no point in communicating bc we largely only hear what's validating; none of what's corrective bc we can't be wrong. It's a big mess.
Exactly
@iamtrendyvybes4686 I thought I was the only one who felt this way! Glad to know it’s not me.
🗣Repent Israelites all praise to the most high YAHAWAH AND HIS SON YAHAWASHI🤴🏽🦁🔥🛸⌛️
The so called black man, Latino, and Native Americans are the Israelites. Yahawah chosen people. That are scattered in all nations through our fathers. Making them Israelite foreigners/Scattered sheep/The multitude.
Yahawashi speaking: Matthew 15:24
“But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”
Deuteronomy 7:6 “For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God: the LORD thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth.
Deuteronomy 32:39 “See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand.”
Luke 12:51
“Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:
bw are abusive narcissist
The single reason is.....
YOURE DUMMMMMMMMM
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😂
I remember being turned down by black women nonstop in my teens and 20s for being a nerd, being focused on my studies. I studied, founded a company and started making serious money, by default I dated white women as they were the only women who were interested in me, black women would not match with me on dating apps, and women of other races happily came on board, so I married a white lady, only to find I would get stares from black women when I took my wife anywhere, I was also called a sell-out. I find it eye-opening that so many black women are single when they have turned the process of belittling and rejecting black men into a hobby.
Oh,I hear you
Yup! About 20 years ago I was walking back from lunch with a colleague. This was on 125th street a bit east of the Apollo. I'm a skinny white dude 6'1" and he's a BM 6'5", muscles, dreds, gorgeous, brilliant smile ......... and gay as a goose and more than a bit flamboyant. Well..... the Looks of Death I got from every BW between 15 and 85 blew my mind! I was half expecting them to hurl their shopping bags at me....
But all I could think to myself was, "Ladies, even if I spontaneously combusted as you clearly want, he still wouldn't be available! He's very happy with his boyfriend!!!" smdh.
I later asked a another colleague who was a BW what was up with that. She laughed and said, "He could've been covered in rainbows & glitter and twirling like a ballerina and it would'n't've mattered. They just saw you two and thought, 'Another one off the market'. That he was never on the market to begin with was irrelevant."
Sorry you went through that but people gotta be more careful and stop making this one sided. Your story is a literal copy of what I went through and I myself am a woman.
I think it's that on both sides its just crappy, the women and men who are kind hearted and nerdy get tricked and carry this hatred and do it to the next. It's sad to watch.
You wouldn't believe how the woman's spaces and man spaces all sound bitter but exactly the same. It's scary to watch
@@jazsmans9523 I’m skeptical, since women are the sexual selectors, it’s unusual for men to turn down women. In the rare circumstances I have personally witnessed it it’s due to the woman having a terrible reputation for promiscuity, I’m not suggesting you have such a reputation. We’re you rejected by black men simply because you’re a black female? This doesn’t sound like the majority of black men.
This is really sad.
Relationships are give and take. It’s a beautiful thing when you see two healthy individuals in a relationship serving and caring for one another.
Only those of us who have done this realize the powerful truth of that.
As a bm I noticed at an early age, mid teens, that a great number of black girls used a totally different and backward criteria when picking a boy to talk to and date. And as these girls mature physically into women, this mentality becomes even more twisted and abnormal.
The twistedness comes from hurt from the guys who treated them like trash.
It's hard to aim at a target you've never seen.
@@CephlonMayngrum nope, it's before then. They are attracted to that type of guy and it will never change because that's their type.
I'm not about to do 10yrs in prison for a black woman to accept me as being a real man.... because as they say all the real men are in prison.
@@evos469 they head hard as bricks!!!! I never seen people this level of hard headed…
I got married when I was 24. (16 years now) I'd love to help where I can. Getting married was one of the best decisions I made. Wouldn't change it for anything.
I wish I could be married I'm in my early 20's now. congrats to you but do you have any advice for single women like me wanting marriage but also dating outside my race?
Congratulations
I BET YOUR HUSBAND WAS 2ND GUESSING THAT SH DOE
I agree. Getting married is one of the best decisions of my life.
KJV Ecclesiastes 7:26 And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth Yahawah shall escape from her, but the sinner shall be taken by her.
Ecclesiasticus 25:24 “Of the woman came the beginning of sin, and through her we all die.”
Ecclesiasticus 25:13 “Give me any plague, but the plague of the heart: and any wickedness, but the wickedness of a woman:”
Ecclesiasticus 26:7 “An evil wife is a yoke shaken to and fro: he that hath hold of her is as though he held a scorpion.”
Ecclesiasticus 26:8 “A drunken woman and a gadder abroad causeth great anger, and she will not cover her own shame.”
Ecclesiasticus 26:9 “The whoredom of a woman may be known in her haughty looks and eyelids.”
Ecclesiasticus 26:10 “If thy daughter be shameless, keep her in straitly, lest she abuse herself through overmuch liberty.”
Proverbs 6:26
“For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.”
2 Esdras 16:49
“Like as a whore envieth a right honest and virtuous woman:”
Proverbs 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Proverbs 9:13 A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Ecclesiasticus 26:11 Watch over an impudent eye: and marvel not if she trespass against thee.”
Ecclesiasticus 26:12 “She will open her mouth, as a thirsty traveller when he hath found a fountain, and drink of every water near her: by every hedge will she sit down, and open her quiver against every arrow.”
Ecclesiasticus 26:25 “A shameless woman shall be counted as a dog; but she that is shamefaced will fear the Lord.”
Ecclesiasticus 25:16 “I had rather dwell with a lion and a dragon, than to keep house with a wicked woman.
Ecclesiasticus 25:19 “All wickedness is but little to the wickedness of a woman: let the portion of a sinner fall upon her.
Ecclesiasticus 26:23 “A wicked woman is given as a portion to a wicked man: but a godly woman is given to him that feareth the Lord.”
Proverbs 30:20 “Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.”
1 Timothy 5:6 “But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.”
Lamentations 4:3 “Even the sea monsters draw out the breast, they give suck to their young ones: the daughter of my people is become cruel, like the ostriches in the wilderness.”
Isaiah 3:24 “And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of we’ll set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty.”
Micah 7:10 “Then she that is mine enemy shall see it, shame shall cover her which said unto me, Where is the LORD thy Yahawah? mine eyes shall behold her: now shall she be trodden down as the mire of the streets.”
1 Corinthians 11:3 “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Yahawashi; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Yahawashi is Yahawah.”
1 Corinthians 11:8 “For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.”
1 Corinthians 11:9 “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”
1 Timothy 2:13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.”
1 Timothy 2:14
“And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.”
Genesis 3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”
Ecclesiasticus 36:24 “He that getteth a wife beginneth a possession, a help like unto himself, and a pillar of rest.”
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Yahawashi is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Yahawashi, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
1 Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
1 Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Job 39:17 “Because Yahawah hath deprived her of wisdom, neither hath he imparted to her understanding.”
Isaiah 3:12 “As for my people, children are there oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.”
Proverbs 31:3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.”
1 Esdras 4:26 “Yea, many there be that have run out of their wits for women, and become servants for their sakes.”
Isaiah 4:1 “And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name to take away our reproach.”
Romans 15:4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.
Ecclesiastes 1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
Spot on. One overlooked side effect of this is that the marriage material black men realize they aren't wanted for marriage and they look for wives in other places. So not only are our sisters vetting the wrong men, the "right" men are going to other races where they can be appreciated for the kind of man they truly are.
Aka they plan B / last option is no longer a option 🤷🏿♂️
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
@@EllionTyRight 🎯✅️
Exactly right 🎯✅️💪🏿✊🏾🤎
Hello!!!
This is super refreshing. I'm one of the few black women that gets it. I just started dating this guy and I instantly saw that this was a quality man. I'm teachable and want to be a woman of value that sees the big picture. ❤
That's big growth Congrats
I can tell your not stupid. Your practicing birth control so you don't destroy your life. Tell all your friends. Do you really think he's going to pay child support? Let me guess. He stops by when he feels like it. Throws a few bucks at you and asks for sex. Sound familiar? Get a court order.
"Women choose who they date, but men choose who we marry" equal balance of power.
Women choose who they bed men bed who they can get.
Men choose who they marry women marry who they can get.
Both men and women choose you ding bat.
....and then you figure out that you're the starter husband....
No we don't dumb logic.
Men are the access to relationships. That's the problem. Women want to do the choosing but it is not left up to us. It is left up to the man.
My Ex Of 4 Years Dumped Me At 22 For A Street Guy..I Ran Into Her In April Of This Year & She Looked Out Of Her Wits Mentally & Physically..After A Brief Conversation & Learning She'd Been Burned By A Bunch Of "Bad Boys", She Wanted To Exchange Numbers So We Could "Catch Up" 🙄..I Loved Telling Her How I've Been Married 29 Years, Have 5 Children & 4 Grandchildren..Guess Who Had Egg On Their Face??
That's not egg.......
Dayum that shit cold brah!
You go dude.
@@TheGunner9545 it's street juice 🤣
Glad to hear it😊.
I had this one female friend in college. She was mexican. She was in our nursing study group. Every week she was crying over another guy. The worst one was she was flown out to the state he was and for some reason things got violent where she had to run out and escape him. She asked me one day that how can she find the man she’s supposed to marry. I asked her “if you ever needed a kidney, how many of the guys you’ve dated would offer you one of his kidneys?” She didn’t respond but I knew she got the message. Today she’s married to a man that very different from the guys she was dating in college. I think the issue is that both men and women, sometimes we chase the thrill. Deep down we know that this man or woman is not good for us but we keep going, hoping and praying that someday the person will appreciate us the way we appreciate them. It’s a losing race and time doesn’t wait. I won’t say it’s unique to just black women cos I’ve seen women of other races fall into the same trap. I think it’s just human nature. People always want things that are out of reach and they ignore the stuff that’s right in front of them
So what you're saying is your friend made all of her bad choices in life and now she won because she got a good man to commit to her that she never deserved in the first place😅😅😅🎉🎉🎉
Dude I totally agree with you.
That’s deep Kidney
Mostly bulllshittttt you posted.
It's definitely mostly true of black women. Stop
This is why black female dating coaches Are quitting
And Tired of black women
That's why black women Are the Least Married demographic on the planet
The Least swiped on dating apps and the Least preferred demographic by Alllll men.
No men from Bo races are breaking their necks to Marry nor date them. Period
So Stop w the pandering dickless bulllllllllsht.
The market speaks to what it wants, and the market says it Doesn't want them.
The Fckn tudes, disrespect,the mouths, come on. Nobody wants that
And you can't tell em sht,
Never admit they are wrong
With masculine uncooperative combative disagreeable tudes allll the way thru.
Nobody wants that. Nobody
Results prove it
Bravo 👏 😊
We need to heal our community and have more conversations this is 👍🏽
Unrealistic standards?
Its the attitude, the aggressiveness, the passive aggressive behavior, the shaming, insults, guilt trips, and the need to be right.
No matter how successful someone is, no one wants to be involved with someone that engages in those unapologetic behaviors.
You could have stopped at "Attitude".That word alone personifies everything else that follows. They walk around mad😠all the damm time, sigh!!!,smdh!!!.
@@jan-cq5wvSURELY you're talking about Black men. Y'all are hilariously sad!
@@Heyu7her3 Nope it's you!!
@@jan-cq5wv no one brought up the race only the behavior, right. Smh. Why can't we have a conversation about behavior and not race.. But they know if they bash black men the rest of those types will back them. They should work for the clan. They sound like the clan
@mckinleycougar7338 Title : The Reasons Why So Many Black
Women Are Single?🤔. Am I missing something?
Thank you for this! I'm so glad I didn't buy into the toxic culture that has misled many bw. I have been happily married for over two decades.
💯congrats.. that’s a beautiful thing.
I'm thankful also,I'm happily married as well!
I offer no pity
ua-cam.com/video/jxbp0sL6478/v-deo.html
Yes, thank you for not following the bs toxic anti black family narrative sis. That's what I want to hear. Black Love Always!
I sure did! I married the man that liked me and never ever regretted my decision! I love him and trust him with my life!!
How abt solving fatherlessness?
Men have stopped asking why black women have these problems. We just are walking away.
It's a modern woman! Run away quickly.
💯
Modern men are just as bad 🤷🏽♀️
We over that shit
ITS OK BECAUSE WE DO NOT NEED EACH OTHER ANYMORE. WE ARE BOTH BROWN ANYWAYS. WE DON’T NEED TO MAKE OUR RACE PURE, ONLY WHITE PPL THINK LIKE THAT. WE WANT ANY WOMAN BECAUSE THATS THE WAY LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE.
HELP YOURSELVES THE SAME WAY WE BLACK MEN HAVE TO HELP OURSELVES
I am not jumping through hoops of fire to impress women who have rejected me for 30 years. My bills are paid, I am in perfect shape, I have built my own brand and business. However, it seems that black women need more, and they expect me to raise their children.......nope.
You go King
Pump em n dump em homeboy
@@thomasprice4938 nah we are not even doing that. Who wants to get me-too'd. Get your passport, come join us. I spend 3 months a year in the US, family and business. After that am out. I just left. While in US it's Mike pence rule 247. I don't, don't talk any wahman, other than business and in the presence of other people. Am Not taking a chance.
👏👏👏👏👏
@@thomasprice4938 TYPICAL BM DEGENERATE...A CURSED GROUP!
From what I see, marriage is not the priority of many black women seeking relationships, but children are. That is why single mom and baby mama culture is so strong and common in the black women's community.
You do know that Africans American are not the only black people in this world? I’ll be really nice if y’all be specific when talking about black people in general, and say African-Americans instead of saying black women. Because Africa is full of black women and we value marriage and actually get married at a young age. You will never catch baby mama BS in Africa communities unless they are divorces so, it’ll be nice if you y’all just stick to African-Americans stead of saying black woman because other people that are not black think we’re just like African-Americans and we’re not. I got married at 21. I am 30 with four kids and happily married.
@@leymong5182 well, that my mistake sorry for that
It’s actually disgusting ….!!…let’s start calling it out for what it is …raising a nation of bastards
these chicks are used up and stuck in there ways
with trauma from bad experiences. +high expectations
bad attitudes, Not fit but overweight, No walls, bitter
An a ton of em have a hatred of men..
and let’s say that they have NOT been hop skip an falling on 🍆 once they’ve been single too long they become hard to deal with an set in there ways; narrow minded
as in they don’t want to compromise an are unwilling to compromise. their relationship muscles have atrophied personalities are difficult to get along with they don’t care what a man wants an with all this they have ridiculous standards especially if she’s got a degree or 💰 she thinks she’s better than she is..
when finding someone that you like is hard enuff finding someone that likes you back is harder still to set standards that skip 90% of the pop intentionally it’s Crazy to me. An is a sure way to get you disappointed, ..the subconscious root cause of all this is i think many don’t find value in men and or fathers tbh. an that’s the pink elephant in the room nobody wants to talk about.
ask em about there past an they are always shifting blame but, won’t talk about the behaviors that lead their men not being in the house. they refuse to let it sink in that the guys attention:validation adoration you get while you are in your 20(s) you don’t get while you in your 40(s)+
they don’t prioritize relationships an marriage in life…then wonder why their not in a marriage or relationship lol they don’t realize their mindset is repelling what they say they want.
ladies had plenty of chances but ignored em an chose not to pursue because of shallow criteria like height not even considering moral character an ethics.. you ladies aren’t alone because of men but because of you; and your choices.
Wrong ! you guys just pass up good women for IG models.
I believe both men and women within our community need to prioritize marriage and healthy partnerships
Unfortunately, aggressive reforms in the family law and divorce court system are going to have to be achieved first.
In addition, it should be a lot more difficult to get married in the first place, and damn near impossible to get divorced. No fault divorce has merely had the effect of stabilizing the family structure further, by permitting people, the statistics show mostly women, to leave for the most trivial of reasons, to violate their word, to show that their oh so “sacred” vowels are meaningless gibberish when coming out of the mouths of women, and cannot under any current circumstances be trusted.
Yes yes smh because we can't have one side wanting it and the other side not wanting it
Ignoring red flags is the biggest red flag at all !
I am a BM and grew up in the inner city in the Midwest. I was never the coolest guy. Was very poor and didn’t have name brand clothing. I was always respectful and kept to myself. Had me sights on many pretty black woman from grade school to high school and was rejected by most of them all because I was not a popular guy or dope boy.
I ended up marrying a PR woman who realized my worth and potential. Now when I go back to the high school reunions I see all the used to be popular women big as hell and unmarried and divorced trying to hold on to the memories of when they used to be the it girl.
My Granny with two teeth: "Looks fade and dress size expands like a blimp."
My son feels the same way. He was never cool in school, never into wearing Jordan's, he was always skate boarding and wore Vans sneakers. He told me black girls weren't into him. I told him to love and date who accepts him for him. Needless to say, he is very much in love with a womam of several mixed races (I can't remember them all lol). I am a black momma who loves regardless of color. ❤
Oh wow, Are you serious?
😂😂😂 I love it….😂😂😂
You got you a Latina girl. Good job my man 👍
I’m a dark skinned Latina, and I’m attracted to black men. I come from a household where gender roles were defined. I learned to be a wife, cook, clean and I’m financially savvy. However I’m single. I refuse to go back on dating apps. I’m thinking to date other races of men again. It’s hard out there for both genders. A lot of black women think that they need to act like real housewives of whatever, but the media has been detrimental for us. Many black men think being players, or fathering children with a multitude of women is just part of being a man. Unfortunately black men (including many Caribbean men) seem to like to be playboys. I think I will branch out to men that have active fathers in their lives and have learned to be more balanced men.
PSA-to black women, you are not weak when you use your feminine energy. Unfortunately, the players specifically, mistake femininity for weakness. Get men that value you and consistently show it through their actions.
You’re wasting your time talking to them
It's definitely hard out here. I hope you find your significant other ❤
@@TheDanster4 she need to stop looking and let it just happen
Where have you been - and are you available - or do you have any sisters??? I'm a Marine Veteran who's definitely not a player. I'm divorced (about ~13 yrs now) and have been solidly single for the last almost 6 years (no hookups). Reading your post gives me hope......
@@6feet6figures Liar. We're not all the same......
Many of us arent taught how to love, how to accept love, how to be soft and vulnerable, to be a woman or a wife. We are taught to be strong, independent, self-reliant black women who dont need a man! This is refreshing to see
Dont agree.
People need to teach themselves how to be better.
I did that without anyone's help.
Problem is many are selfish, till it's too late. 0:26
I don’t think independence and self reliance are the issue. I think it’s a matter of being rude, arrogant, and just generally unbearable as a person.
but men are expected to be already assembled out of the factory.
So basically you're saying Black men were right. Money and education alone dont change gender roles in the Black community all together. You ignored every single inconsistent adolescent toxic sign chasing (your 2nd childhood) excitement. We dont finish last. We just dont finish with you.
A third of the world across all nationalities cultures and economic classes still pay dowrys. What have they fundamentally figured out about the value of maintaining family structures that makes no sense to us.
I have to disagree with your comment, you may not been taught to be a wife but to love comes does come natural. And when women say being independent can you make love with your paycheck. Stop making excuses on why you cannot, even independent women humble there self, try it you might be surprised what your missing.
Thank you for this I’m a black woman who is married but grew up around a bunch of single women mothers struggling to provide for their kids men in and out of their lives no father around we strive better together this is needed I had to unlearn so many things ladies please work on yourselves every day
This video is spot on. Back in high school, as an academically-inclined 'nice guy', I couldn't get any play with the sisters. Once I got to college, I became more of a 'nasty batchelor', recognizing that many sisters were more into style (and swag) than character and substance. So, guess what? I couldn't keep the ladies off me during that time, while openly stating I wanted no commitments and dated other women. It's insane! Eventually, I met a lovely, quality sister during my doctoral program, and we have been married for 24 years. Before meeting her, I strongly considered broadening my options to other races of women. When I arrived at graduate school, I would go out to the clubs occasionally. While there, I saw the sisters from graduate school, presumably among the best and brightest of our women, chasing dope boys. So, even some of our highest-caliber women also prefer cads and criminals over quality men of character. It's sad.
😢
Because they have more swag and confidence. It’s the sad truth. I personally need it all; attractive, character, good conversation, career and purpose driven, God fearing
@@TheFearlessBabe What do you mean by "confidence"?
Well sadly many are paying the price now. I think it bothers on having low self esteem and it is not just isolated to women. Self denial is very common. Kudos to you and your wife.
@@TheFearlessBabe It takes confidence, diligence, and perseverance to pursue and earn a doctoral degree. The return on investment for the above efforts is a legal, long-term, and very comfortable standard of living for my family. Fortunately, my wife had the foresight to play the long game with me and follow my vision for our family. I wish more brothers like me could also find sisters who appreciate quality, hardworking men with purpose.
Most women are missing the point. I have an older and younger brother and they both have told me that marriage is out of the question for them until they change the marriage laws regarding divorce. They say it’s just not worth the risk, and you know what? I don’t blame them one bit.
That’s cool because you can get the male perspective 1st hand. One thing that I noticed is that women who are close to their fathers, brothers, and/or sons have a better understanding. They may not always agree, but they can empathize.
Facts!
Marrying an American woman means financial ruin for most Men in American divorce court..
wow. your brothers are right. they should fly overseas and experience TRUE femininity. it's like a super drug. a woman that talks soft, move soft, never interrupts even when **I** interrupts her, smiles all the time, etc is addicting... compared to the women that says "bro".
As a person who’s been through divorce the person who makes more is the one who potentially suffers. This is not gender specific just ask Mary J Blige, Wendy Williams, Halle Berry, etc etc. And it happened to me. People always go after money men included; it’s unfortunate, but I feel the same way as a woman. I would never enter into a legally binding relationship again.
Most black men and women don't have a healthy example of a good family structure. So a lot of us dwell in this fantasy world of relationships. Some of the young men think about being Ballers or getting all the women. The young women are saying well I'm not going to have the struggle like my mom did; I want a man that make a lot of money and he has to have swag at the same time. Sorry for the old school references. I'm an old-timer. My wife and I will be celebrating 27 years of marriage this September.
So let me get this straight, it's men's fault because we think you like ballers? What kind of mental pretzel gymnastics are you doing? Men chase for what they want you don't go into a store and accept what the store gives you, you pay for what you want and men don't want these modern women that's why you don't get the men it's simple economics. Keep blaming men not realizing you should compete you will be left without one
I've been saying this: The Blk community collectively needs a mental health program of deep psychotherapy of at least 3-6 months - before we can even begin to put our perspectives back in order again. Decades of maltreatment and abuse has left most of us in a state of not knowing which way is up or what's actually productive as a human. You cannot move on from life's traumas and truly prosper if you're still hanging on to a lifetime of unresolved anger, resentment, and trauma passed down from parents to children - or trauma passed down from greater society (read: YT society) to your demographic (ala racism, bigotry, social segregation, and WS).......
BW need to date other races of men and should have standards in dating.
Thanks you
@mukaniwatkins2598 but other races not running to marry bw either look around 😂😂😂😂
You are true to what it means to be a black woman, and the matchmaker is exactly right. God bless you and Rebeca-Lynn- pope.
Men have been saying this for years, but no man has ever been able to tell a woman anything. And we are now finding women can’t tell a woman anything she doesn’t want to hear.
Can't tell the avg Western black woman anything. Hyena mentality.
Your choice as a woman matters. Who you give your womb to matters.
My mother had a baby for a drug dealer (ME). She was 19 and that’s who she chose.
Luckily he was very active. Even when she was bitter and tried using me as a weapon. He still tried. But MOST black children aren’t as fortunate as I am.
It literally starts with our women and who they give their WOMBS to.
See but they won't look at the CDC statistics lol
@@takkmckinleyimstraightenup2619
It’s literally the same bum dudes having children.
I got one guy in my neighborhood and he’s has 12 CHILDREN 5 DIFFERENT WOMEN.
There are more like him here.
It's sad and true. I know many too. It's like they never learn their lesson until later on in life. The guys be doing that stupid stuff. The girls keep letting them as well like fools and clowns.
Truth😊
@@Niqua10023
It’s sad af. And THE CHILDREN are the biggest victims.
Fellas, if she ever drops an F-bomb the first time you upset her, end it there. It just shows the amount of disrespect coming in the future and you cannot undo it.
It's so refreshing to hear a well thought out viewpoint. Such clarity. Thank you for sharing this. 🙏🏾👑
The problem is that a lot of women want to catch the bad boy with their bodies then try to get them to fully commit and adopt the husband traits that the men they don’t want have while still maintaining the essence of the bad boy they were drawn to initially. Essentially they’re trying to build their perfect husband because in their minds the only good man that exists has to be a perfect man for them according to their specifications. Which doesn’t work. Women aren’t stupid, they know damn well what a good man looks like regardless of how much they try to feign ignorance and speak to the contrary.
They’re far more socially inclined than men are and are far more detail oriented socially. They also have a wealth of knowledge at their disposal throughout their development in the sisterhood and various forms of female centered media. Then there’s the fact that the majority of PS/JHS/HS teachers are women. So they’re hit with feminist indoctrination early.
So when women say “I didn’t have a male role model in my life to show me what a good man looks like” that’s nothing more than a bvllsh!t attempt at maintaining plausible deniability. Especially when they’re already well into adulthood. They grow up turning down these men for most of their adolescence and young adult lives. A lot of women even categorize these men as “lame” and “boring”. How can women say that don’t know what a good man looks like yet have a entire category dedicated to them? The bottom line is women want what they want when they want it. what they want is seldom ever static outside of the nonnegotiables like height, income status etc. and they will only except exactly what they want or nothing at all. Anything else would be considered settling for them. The absence of humility and accurate self assessment will keep women single for a very long time.
Big facts. I absolutely agree. Great commentary.
100% true
co-signed
i also believe the root cause of all this is i think many don’t find value in men and or fathers tbh. an that’s the pink smoking flying elephant in the room nobody wants to talk about.
ask em about there past an they are always shifting blame. but won’t talk about the behaviors that lead their men not being in the house. they refuse to let it sink in that the guys attention:validation adoration you get while you are in your 20(s) you don’t get while you in your 40(s)+
they don’t prioritize relationships an marriage in life…then wonder why their not in a marriage or relationship lol they don’t realize their mindset is repelling what they say they want.
ladies had plenty of chances but ignored em an chose not to pursue because of shallow criteria like height not even considering morals character an ethics.. you ladies aren’t alone just because of men but because of you; and your choices.
@@jayclearmen411It’s amazing how women don’t seem to understand this. There are virtually limitless options for them. But they always go for a certain guy while the rest of the men are sitting around being ignored. Then they complain about being lonely. Also you can’t tell them anything so of course they are going to continue the mentality of plausible deniability self righteousness and lack of accountability.
Essentially they believe it’s everyone else’s fault and there’s nothing you can do that will change their mind. They have to change it for themselves.
True
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasnt going to let my marriage of 18years crash
@PeterWhite7 well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer
@PeterWhite7 her name is *Victoria Lee Hess* ,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster
you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.
That type of stuff is witchcraft and will only add more problems to your life later on. You just should prayed to God instead
Amen!!
My God, you are refreshing.. Thank you for representing our community in such a positive manner.. you are beautiful both internally and physically beautiful. We need more of you speaking to our young ladies.. once again, thank you 🙏🏾
Extremely useful video, hopefully people will hear the message and understand that many people, men and women, need to process this information.
I tried to find the right woman to marry, but I was labeled too corny, too lame, or acting white. My character became a curse or a weakness. My lack of kids became a reason to hate. I said cool and I moved on. I've only been single for 6 mos, but I've been single off and on for the past 3 years. My mantra now is to not even look anymore. I don't approach, ask for numbers nor accept any contact information. I let a woman give me her number, then I threw it away. I just don't care anymore. I'm happier single and I will continue to enjoy my life solo. I find videos like this interesting because it shows me what is happening in the intersexual relationship world.
keep it moving brother. get your passport and definitely fly overseas. you will not regret it. What you are and have is what other women need, want and crave. the women here are just spoiled and raised terribly by their single mothers.
🎯‼️
Get your money up ...Invest in AI so you can retire young and enjoy a life of luxury and opulence overseas....
You are the type of men that are needed. Don't change . There's still some bw that appreciate men like you
@Pump da Brakes pump ya brakes homie! Not all of us and do t forvet there are a ñot of spoiked, broke entitled lazy busted down men that were raised correctly by great parents n still became bums so stop. It goes both ways. That is why my husband is Italian and not black.
I was married for 30 yrs faithfully and there is know way you will love and know a person with out perseverance , trust and forgiveness love will come when you first begin to love yourself ☺️💕
Things I've experienced. Raised by a single mom, hyper critical mother, no male role models, issues with authority figures, no value or respect for authority figures, no guidance with dating. Lack of nurturing, care, and support and trying to get it through fucking around. Terrible communication skills. Non existent conflict resolution skills. Selfish ways. My way or the highway. Terrible attitudes, behaviors, and tantrums. Avoiding dating altogether and substituting with Netflixing and chilling instead of learning healthier behaviors and how to properly date. No longer single and slowly working through these things. Single again. I got frustrated once we moved in together with his mom and daughter so I left
One extreme viewpoint doesn't balance another extreme viewpoint. It's important for women to like who likes them. It's also important for women to operate with wisdom and long-vision about the quality of the guy she likes. In a marriage, you need to "like" each other.
When do women operate with wisdom. You can't choose the wrong man and then frustrate your self and him because after 5 kids you recognise that he doesn't suit your ever changing delusion
The old folks in the Caribbean also says “sense made before books”!meaning no amount of education or accomplishments can replace common sense.
A Relationship It's Takes... Fun, Respect, LOVE, Brains & Teamwork.
Many women conflate standards and preferences. Someone being employed can be seen as a standard, however wanting someone making 6 figures plus is a preference.
* NOT my preference just stating an example *
You can always work with him and y'all achieve it together.
What’s what you’re saying actually got to do with what the women said in this video?
6 figure plus is a small number of humans on this whole planet.
@@richk320 Nah for women. It's my way or the highway.
Woman: I would prefer(DEMAND) him to make over 100k to 500k. Is that what you mean?
Grateful for your bold, courageous, generous, wise, elegant truth! Thank you dear beautiful Sister of Deep Truth!
7:28 it took me until my 30s to realize this. And then someone told me "go with the girl who likes you, not the one you like". $#!t the shit goes smoother with the person who actually want to be there with you.
May I ask you something??? With dating the person who likes you but let's say you don't like them. Are you still happy? Do you feel that it's a void with not being with who you truly wanted?😊
@@sablesupremacy888 In my opinion...I can love anyone I choose. If someone has good character I will love her.
@@aaronbrutus2654 that's beautiful! I like that!😉
Boy bye. If my man doesn’t like me back and adore me then he can go
Men love different
She’s speaking major facts! They love these fake thugs and ignore the real man!
Yes
🙄
It's really hard to tell us BW anything. We see other's struggle and let them continue. We ask ppl not in those roles for all the advice. Talk to older, married women who have a similar path that you want. Yes, we know you don't want their lives but get advice from those on the journey.
Trust me, they ain't trying to hear it, I got one married because she listened, she was doing to much 😂, so one did listen to me from a married womans position, her wedding was 😘😘 👏👏
@@PSYCHDEGREE63 and do you know WHY that is? simple, it's because *women are smarter than men; however, men are way, WAY more intelligent
there's a huge difference between the two words
(*coined by MGTOW-Balance)
Marriage is a choice. So is having a relationship.
I was twice divorced and married in my forties and have been sharing what I learned for the last 3 years about my journey. It’s like the wild Wild West for women over 40.
Trust me, they don't listen at all
It's refreshing to hear this analysis about black women coming from other black women. Thank you both for the insight.
Being Happy, Safe, and financially successful is the goal.
Thanks sister for your insight. 1st time I heard you. I thought there was no hope. The way black women interact with and think of black men nowadays, makes me believe we are in the middle of a raging "gender war". It is refreshing to hear you talking!
One of the biggest issues creating difficulty for women understanding what to look for in a man, is that so many have not had a good male model in their lives. They have less awareness of what manhood is than most young brothers.
These conversations are important as black men and women need each other in order for our community to thrive, healing & understanding is required on both sides.
The BM abandoned the BW & his family decades ago when he got with the NFL, NBA, and making money. A BW was the last thing on his mind. When Becky took all his money, now he wants to come back to the BW. Too LATE! BW have their own BAG, home, car, career, degree, good credit, business, traveling the world, etc. all WITHOUT a man!
She learned she couldn't depend on a BM for nothing! Brad is now MARRYING BW, who BM claim the WM didn't want. You all lost a queen sleeping with a 304. BW are living their BEST life and don't "need" a BM. Get your passports and go.
As a pastor, I have been teaching young women that for a long time: Don’t who marry he who you love, but marry who loves you and you will be a queen throughout your married life.
When a woman is married to man she loves, she will strive all the days of her life working hard trying to please him; but she is married to a guy, I mean a man, who loves her, it will be the other side of the coin.
She considers the "nice guy" a simp/weak.
To put it simply, beggars can't be choosers.
I think, actually I know you missed the point... Please stop giving advice. WOW!
Terrible advice. Women don't want simps. They hate them. They love Pookie and Ray Ray.
@dorvilfamily5446 if that is what you preach, what type of pastor are you? your type of message will only breed lazy and irresponsible women who dont feel they have any work to do to get a man. if you want women to be married to a man who loves her because you want her to be treated as a queen, what about the man doing the loving? what happens to him? is marriage all about being treated as a queen? what about the man? does he not deserve to be treated as a king? who will do that for him? obviously, you are not teaching these ladies that they need to serve their husbands but only to expect to be treated as queens
At this point and after all these podcasts and videos, I’ve realized that I don’t bring much to the table, so I’m bowing out of the dating field gracefully. Bout to start focusing on what lights me up and inspires me instead. Have fun y’all.
👍🏽❤️
Iktr!! Ppl so damn shallow and judgmental and they swear they got the answers for our life. Like they gotta come with some new advice because a lot of this bs be coming in one ear and going out the other 🤷🏽♀️ LLAB😂😂😂😂 how bout I just do me and only leave it to GOD to judge me.
Stop that u brining a lot to the table ❤love yourself plz
I don't blame u but I sitll going to have babies.
Good riddance
I’m a Marriage, Relationship, Divorce and Dating Coach, I must admit that everything mentioned in this video as hard as it is for me to say this, it’s true ❤ But I have also realized that there’s a lot of influence that a lot of Women have endured and become either a product of their own environment or throughout their early teen to mid adult years, they’ve seen things that were acceptable and not wrong nor was it ever corrected! Thanks for being transparent and sharing your thoughts with us ♥️🙏🏽🙌🏽💯
Facts
When men date women for many many years; and say they are still not ready for marriage
In your mind; what would be valid reasons for this way of thinking? I've spoken to various friends about this and men/women have varying degrees of opinions.
What say you ?
@@CinnamonTwist0204
They have seen their friends lose everything they own in divorce court.
Next?
Loool seems u all have that job role
Why are many women and men adverse to hearing the TRUTH. The is bitter and must be served.
That’s awesome advice about not worrying who you like but worry about who likes you
My "Marriage Experience" with my supposed Black Queen was TERRIBLE. It was so traumatic on me that I literally felt like I was in a Civil War. It gave me PTSD & I never served a day in the military. I don't even want to date no more & risk opening my heart to such heart ache. Y'all can keep marriage. Marriage is for fools & babies and I ain't neither no more.
I am very sorry about your experience 😢.
You were married to the wrong woman.
@@GodwordrulesBlack women are all “the wrong woman.” 🤷🏽♂️
@@nnekaonyiloforThis person's experience is an excellent and all too familiar example as to why "getting married" is not and should not be "the goal". Technically, anyone can find a mate and get married. However, a loving, happy, compatible, life-long committed, kind, sharing, compassionate, respectful marriage is a whole different thing and definitely goal worthy.
Allow God to heal you. I’ve gone through a horrible marriage but this time I gave it to God and He truly out did himself. I wish you all the best my brother and as your sister I really hope you are blessed with all your hearts desires. 🙏🏽
I was that man that women never gave me a chance when I was in my 20's.
In my 40's, i don't want to try what I did in my 20's again
Why is that, some guys go back to time lost and just run through women. I know a guy I his 50s doing it.
@@adeneo.g6456 I rather build my kingdom and get my money right. Older women only want you for what you can do for them. I am good 👍😊.
It's crazy how a lot of people are so self absorbed and locked in to their beliefs on everything. They can't really experience things fully and develop character to appreciate somebody with character and vulnerability.
It is simple. Learn Silence. Learn loyalty. Learn to speak to him as a man and not in a condescending manner.
And what should he learn if he wants to get a good wife?
@@mishikijayanna3184 Your rebuttal is the reason I posted. Do you know the meaning of condescending? So………….what should you learn to marry a quality Husband? A lady does NOT “get” a “good” husband. She earns his love and loyalty. As does a Man. Marriage is not an a financial acquisition or trophy. If your first thought is not for your mates well being you will fail at marriage. Stop your ignorance. It is not flattering.
@@dohcsmr1175 Asking a simple question is condescending? I'm just asking what does a man have to do to earn love and loyalty. You've already stated what a woman needs to do to earn love and loyalty.Now what does the man have to do? Nowhere in my question have I said anything about finances. Point out a single instance of ignorance in my question.
@@mishikijayanna3184 Fair enough. The same. No difference between the Man and woman. A relationship is a work in progress. BOTH must except the mistakes that will be made. Infidelity from either is unacceptable. My grandmother told me the difference between a husband and wife is the man never remembers and the woman never forgets. Both must work at these flaws. Also let the man lead. Speak to him about your concerns. Understand it will not always be to your liking. If he dismisses you then he is not a good man. Good men listen to their wives.
Everything starts in the home this isn't a cultural issue. I often blame the parents for this epic failure. My mother often told me as teenager to stay away from 304 and fast women. Her advice has saved me thousands of dollars in the long run.
Your mother advised you right. They are literally parasites in every community. It's the dark Spirit that has taken over. You be the light that the world needs. Trust me...God sees it all.
And that's wealth!.
We often exclude wealth from knowledge in terms of oral tradition passed down from generations, Frameworks, Concepts, institutions.
Infact what we call Tradition, Religion and Culture,is the blueprint of what has been created,managed and passed on from generations to generations under the sun, and the Why and How/Way it was achieved.
I dont know what 304 means?
@@NicoTNN The term derives from when 304 typed into a calculator, then turned upside down .
Truth Indeed
This video was excellent!! Great advice was given and wisdom! Thank you for creating this video ❤. I am a black woman that is enjoying marriage as we speak. I had to wait for GOD to send my husband because he had to prepare us both for each other. But I am the happiest I have ever been! All glory be to GOD who is able to perform miracles; including turning a female into a feminine godly lady!
🙏🏽🤎🤍🤎 CONGRATS TO YOU BOTH! AND MAY JESUS AND HEAVENLY FATHER KEEP U BOTH SECURE IN ❤! 🔒 LOCKED IN TOGETHER!
It has become so difficult, a few of my boys have stopped going after who they wanted, me included, and started just to like who likes them. Because the women who are being pursued are really wanting someone else. But the one who likes you (this is for the men), she may not be exactly what you thought you wanted but if she RESPECTS you! And when you are with her its PEACEFUL! and then you feel LOVED, that's all a hardworking man really needs. No matter how much you're making. I've dated beautiful women: The Most Insecure. I've dated corporate women: The Need To Be Right was so exhausting. This is a black people problem that must get fixed. Our families are fractured and youth is LOST. Y'all be cool.
Well said
Love is spending hours at a time in silence .. in the same room. And looking up at each other ..smile for a second and then back to silence
The truth is all of us men and women no matter the race need to go to therapy and do the inner healing work for our childhood traumas so we can attract better partners or spouses if marriage is the goal! Inner healing work or trauma work through therapy will help raise your self awareness to avoid the mistakes your parents made in the past! 💛💛💛
As a licensed therapist with a private practice, I approve this message.
Speak for yourself
None of that 💩 works 🖕
This has nothing to do with men this is all about black women being single do not drag us men into this this is on you women not us men
The Root cause is Money. The second women started to make more money the more they became unbearable. We were married at an 85% rate pre 1965 even during slavery we got married and none of us have worst trauma than the people of that generation. Like the Bible said Money is the root of all injurious things.
Unrealistic expectations yield unfulfilled dreams. Finally, the truth is being seen. Enduring relationships are founded on mutual enrichment & compromise. You're overlooking the very men possessing the qualities you're searching for. The handsome, wealthy playboy is not the husband material. The average working guy is more of a solid bet. Great video, ladies!
rest in power KEVIN SAMUELS. he preached the same thing and was attacked for it by so many.
I told my ex-wife the exact same thing! R.I.P. Don Kevin Samuels the Godfather.
Well spoken gal! We as women need these talks...it's about damn time!
Rebecca is spot on and I don't blame her, for stop serving black women in match making. That's it "focus on who likes you". Love your channel Nneka..new subbie here 💜
what percentage of black women would take this great advice? 25%. that is the current marriage rate of black women compared to 80% for Latinas and Asians. my two young cousins (about to enter college), one black, one black and Asain. both are pretty. my black cousin said she wants to go to school for a career in psychology. My asian cousin said she want to find a husband. Both 17!!!! Two DIFFERENT mentality. Which one has the best probability of winning?
Yeah she was making some good points
Matchmaking doesn't work anyway.
Oh yes you have hit the nail on the head sista!!!I am so glad that finally our sisters are getting some common sense albeit quite late for others. The truth that women need to know is in this video. thank you so much!!!
Great video. I really wish more women from our community were given this very open and honest conversation really early in their lives. You earned a be subscriber. Interested to hear more content
who is this woman 🏆we put the ring on it. WE make yall QUEENS!
Black women are not single. BLACK AMERICAN WOMEN ARE SINGLE. Please make the distinction. We are not all the same just because we are the same shade. Afro Latina, African women, and south American women here in America don’t have any problems getting strong provider men to marry us.
....She said African American women, right?
Absolutely
The fact that you had to come to America (or any other Western country) to even gain access to provider males tells you all you need to know. The fact that you wear a head full of weave and clown make up just to present yourself shows that you are Americanized to the core. You fit the statistic it just applies to you differently.
@@kareemlane7126 I heard black American and there is a melting pot of different black American here in America.
I just got back from living overseas after four years and can say i totally agree with you. I’m ready to leave the US again . I love foreign black women and can’t take another look at the women in America
Focus on yourselves, bros. Get yourself right and you’ll have far more and better options available to you. That way, we can all stop talking about these women who don’t act right.
Rebecca Lynn Pope was spot on. In the dating world, I was going after a particular type of woman that I thought I was attracted to. When I was getting rejected and turned down, I became quite discouraged. Then one day I decided to sign up on a site thats seen around the world and a day later, I was blown away. I had over a 150 messages. A week later, I had over 600. 😮😮😮😁😁😁👏 what I realized is: I was fishing in the WRONG LAKE. I was so focused on a certain type of woman that I was completely ignoring the nationalities that were totally into me. So I gave it a go. Best thing that ever happened to me.
That is exactly what happened to me too. Once I realized my value was in S East Asia it was game over. My only regret is not leaving BW 15 years ago.
Nneka, this is heavy. Thanks a billion. Triggers much introspection.
A man needs to judged by the context of his character. Not necessarily by his looks or money. Select or reject the choices are yours. Thanks for the message it has resonated
My sister, my Queen I #salute you and appreciate what you are doing. It takes a grown person to not be afraid to address the subjects that plague and hinder folks from growth. I wish prosperity and happiness for you. Thank you for just being you.
Single BW here, a Pakistani UA-camr I follow swears by the love list. So I tried it. It works wonders for the vetting process. If I attract someone who does not match the list. Then it’s a wrap. I wish I knew this 20 years ago. My first item on the list is that HE wants to be married. Because some men don’t…and I wasted a lot of time with that. ✌🏾Your moms tip about loving who loves you is golden.
What is this youtubers name? I have never heard of this love list.
@@chocol8doll she may be referring to The Universal Guru on UA-cam. I love her and her methods work.
@@cocob8608 Thanks 😊
@@chocol8doll Yes it was from The Universe Guru.
"...Loyal to me, faithful to me, committed to me..." You are not the principal, you are not the center of existence.
Just simply being nice and pleasant is something many black women fail it. I mean its not even hard at all.
Disagree. Many of my friends are attractive, educated, out-going, fit and talented. Yet, difficult to meet a man of our equal who wants a mutual commited relationship.
BM are known for intense vitriol language, angry speech which includes the F bomb, and the Nword ....BM are known for a high incarceration rate and felony rate and terrorizing their own neighborhoods why do you think every predominately black neighborhood in the US and abroad is dangerous? So please with that pleasant and nice nonsense
Im that way and I always always get played by user black men
Most want the man that brings them "tingles" ---that wear off in time. . .
@@quin3379Disagreed and complaining about not finding what ya want. Yet you didn't list nice and pleasant among the traits you and your friends possess. Which is what he said is lacking in BW. LMFAO!!! YOU CANT MAKE THIS SH1T UP!😂😂😂
It’s a shame because every guy I know wants to get married and have a family. The unfortunate thing is they are also starting to date other cultures’ women. Because the needs aren’t met in our culture. There are good sisters out here. They are just being drowned out by the bad ones.
Also black women now date and marry white men because black men prefer to date other races.
Unfortunately, many women today were not raised to be wives, mothers or to be feminine. Many of them were born out of wedlock which contribute to them being broken, chaotic and dysfunctional. They didn’t receive the leadership, protection and home training needed for their development.
@@darnellrhodes6174I agreed
For years men were on YT saying they didn't want to marry and it's just a piece of paper.
The only thing I was taught about being feminine was to cook, clean & bathe. I wasn't taught what to look for & how to choose or interact. I know better now & am capable.
Very spot on.
Even after recently separating from a 13-year marriage to a Japanese woman, my experience trying to date American Black women thus far has led me to conclude that I'll be going back overseas to find a new wife. South African women are some of the most gorgeous women in the world to me.
So many ABW have all of these impractical physical and economic expectations that I'd rather not be burdened with.
Bro make a u turn ASAP. Don't even look back. Finding a good wife material in the US or West is like finding a needle in a needle stack.
so why didn't your marriage last to this Japanese woman? I thought Asian women were perfect.
@@rosejames5172What makes Asian women perfect?
If it didn't work with your first marriage it might just be you 😂😂
@@rosejames5172who said they were perfect ?
A great video, Nneka! Shout out to Rebecca Lyn Pope for a fantastic take! My sentiments too. Also great that from your name, Nneka, you’re clearly of Igbo (Nigerian) descent. We ought to talk sometime 😊. Rob
I'm just glad a sista is getting this out ✊
Yeah she is a whole vibe
Spot on!!!! Great video for reference! I appreciate hearing this from black women 👏👏👏
Thank you for posting, I think more dialog and discussion is necessary for addressing this in our community
Guys when you are younger, it seems like the dating scene is unfair to you but I promise- as you age and as you develop your career and truly find yourself.. women will start to chase you down like nobody's business. Don't rush it Kings.
I’m just glad to see sisters starting take the lead in this conversation. I’m married to a wonderful wife and I know a lot of wonderful black wives but when I ask why they don’t share what they know with other women there response is basically “why spend their time beating their head against a brick wall” While I get the logic in that it’s depressing because successful black wives speaking up is really the only hope…
Why are you blaming black women for this problem, that is sad. I blame the black men we are fools to white women. I am not,my wife is black.
I have been happily married for 8 years together for 9 years. Over the years I have tried to educate several of my friends on the tools needed for marriage and all I received in return was disdain so I moved on and shut my mouth. And you know what 9 years later they are still unmarried. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him/her drink it!
I just got engaged (interacially) but I had to crack the code myself. Every woman is different but I don't feel bad for them. ABW are the most foolish and stubborn women out there. They literally boxed themselves into a corner, destroyed all their viable options, ruined their dating pool by with out of wedlock babies, alienating other groups of men with their fake unrequested and unrequited "loyalty" to black men. They also made things harder for other black women who didn't have their mentality. They absolutely do not care what men want and do not give them what they want. If they cared, they would look and act much differently.
Does it matter when he put a ring on it can he afford the rings. Being single isn't the worst thing in this world. I'm happily married, but I was happy with me before I married my husband. Being happy & content is the goal.
This is the same.. Woman that said "Women run Circle 's around Men", BS Talker "Grifting Off" other women.
Yea that's her fam. She was talking to Kendra G
7:00 "You need to stop focusing on who you like and focus on who likes you." 💯