The foster system breaks my heart but I am so glad that people like you are a part of it. I can only imagine how many kids’ lives you’ve positively influenced and changed for the better
I am currently taking care of my sisters daughter born addicted to drugs and having many problems. I don't have any children of my own so everything is a first for us both. All the Dr's visits thereapy sessions and court dates can be so overwhelming but the special moments you speak of make everything worth it. Loving them like they're your own and having to give them back is so hard just thinking about it makes you want to break down. But what's most important is the people like us who are ment to love them even if it's just for a short time. So thank you for being an inspiration for all of us struggling and experiencing these feelings of loss and also overwhelming joy! Much love from Florida
the foster care system is so horrible and broken but i’m so glad there’s people like you who give the kids a positive influence and gives them the care they need. i hope i will be able to foster kids when i’m older. these kids need people like you
@@lottiebromfield3063 So true Lottie! Perhaps all those other children around provided you and them with an opportunity to gain valuable knowledge in areas requiring good social skills with positive group functioning, such as consideration and empathy for others, sharing/taking turns, how to follow as well as lead, learning through observation, the ability to negotiate successfully, etc. In the home where I was raised along with four other children, I consider their presence an enormous blessing that continues to this day. Many blessings to you and yours!
@@gailhitson7340 Best outlook, perspective, and comment. Thank you for it! I am happy you learned from your story and can help others understand these wonderful qualities in their own stories in life
You are and angel doing this for children in need ❤ But I swear, when you handed over the doll in the end I started crying 🥺 It must be extremily hard when it’s time to say goodbye. That shows what an amazing person you are doing this even tho it must be so so hard ❤
Imagine how the child's mother feels after carrying them for 9 months and going to blood and pain to bring them into this world. There are sadly situations where they need to be separated for their safety etc but it's also a flawed system and children that are well take care of and loved do get wrongfully removed sometimes because of a false accusation or an accident that a doctor doesn't believe is an accident.
my mum fosters babies temporarily so only for a little bit and most of the babies have access which is like when they can see there parents but its so sad bc we get attached and then they have to leave 😭😭
@@Milkymommy09 oh reading over my comment I realize I totally blew past how the mothers must feel. Especially in the situations you listed it must be beyond devastating. I can’t even imagine what that must be like. When I wrote that I was thinking how it’s just too hard to bear sometimes knowing not all mothers/families are loving and sometimes children have to go back to that and all my instincts just want to protect them. I hope that makes sense. But as this lady says it’s supposed to be all about allowing families a chance to get back on their feet and supporting them and their children in that. I wanted to say I admire anyone who has the heart to do this work, taking care of these children during such a hard time, but you’re right, there is heartbreak on both sides. ❤️
@@Milkymommy09 this was the case with my child. Her twin died of SIDS and the social worker didn't believe it was an accident, especially when the coroner said the cause of death was unknown. They made up allegations after allegations to see if that I never got her back. The first was that I had struck her on the head even though it was a birthmark. I had been told by three different doctors that it was a birthmark. But they didn't believe this or the paperwork that I presented and claimed that I never took her or sister to the doctor and accused me of not taking her for her two months shots, even though she was barely a month old when she was taken by cps. ( Her sister died just before their one month milestone)It was hard for me to go through this especially after the death of her sister. Don't think I would have been able to continue if it wasn't for my husband. We eventually got her back after a year.
Watching your videos want me to become a foster parent when i’m older give the people who aren’t as fortunate an amazing childhood they deserve if i had the finically stability i think it would be a great way to live life.
Sooo many more sleepless nights than people often realize. Normal baby challenges but often premature, underweight, struggling with withdrawals/NAS, digestive issues and sensory issues after extended NICU stays. There have been several instances where we’ve had kiddos come straight from the hospital where the first 2-3 months have included feedings every 2 hours round the clock to gain weight, issues with formulas, unable to handle darkness or quiet (post-NICU). Toss in additional pediatrician appointments, visits with bio-parents (sometimes much more frequently than with older kiddos) and social worker interactions, and it can be non-stop. However, I’ve not done anything else that rivals the impact and fulfillment than being a foster dad. It ain’t easy, but it’s 10000% worth it. Being able to provide a family for kiddos in need is one of the best things about our crazy life.
I'm still a bit of a hormonal mess after having my daughter and things like this make me cry. I'm so thankful that myself and my husband can give her and our older son the safe and loving home they need and that they didn't have to undergo any of that trauma other poor babies suffer. I feel so grateful that there are people like you in this world who are there for the less fortunate babies to love them and advocate for them without demonising their birth parents ❤️
Thank you so much for this my moms step mom and her sister are foster parents my grandma has had about 20 children in 4years and one of them stayed for 2and 1 half. We have had some with disabilities trama, scuicide , running away ,non verbals ,autism issues but over time you just have to appreciate that they are not all the same.
I've been watching your shorts. They are very well done and informative. I'm thankful that there are skilled and caring people like you to help children and their families in times of age eed.
I could never foster myself. Personally i grow really attached to kids even when i worked in a daycare. It would take a bad toll on mt mentally, but im so happy there are people like you who can and do do this for children it is amazing
I’m currently fostering a baby and I already love him so much. I cried watching this. He really does have such loving parents and though I’ll be happy when they can be reunited, I know it’s going to be so hard to let him go. All of your videos are great but this one in particular really struck a chord with me.
I love your videos - I didn’t realize how much a Foster Parent worked with the Bio Parents…. That is so great that there’s still a connection to their child. I thought they only spoke to Social Workers and then had their visits. So informative! ❤
I grew up with a very hard childhood and any babysitters I had were even worse. It would have been a blessing to be in the foster care system if I had gotten someone like this instead of the awful homes that some kids get cycled through. I confess that I don't have the courage to take on the risk of having to send a child back to a nightmare situation and then learning that the child was injured or killed or anything else by the bio parents. I work elsewhere in a social field and I think I do good work there but it's largely with adults who come from a trauma background. Kudos to the people who can take that emotional risk day after day after day even with babies and small children. I imagine that sometimes the teenagers are the hardest because they've never had anything for so long and because they feel too old to be lovable and to knowledgeable to be as trusting and because all too soon they will be pushed out into the world because of their age when psychologically they may be considerably younger. I will say that every person I met who was kind to me was memorable and most were School teachers. I will always remember them and those little lights in the Darkness are what help struggling children survive and not turn into their bio parents. Sometimes it takes only one person one contact one time to give a child enough hope about other human beings that they hang on and have a basis for recovery. One person lets them know sometimes in a single interaction that all adults are not like that and the whole world is not always like that. Never doubt your influence upon such a child even if you only meet them once for 5 minutes or less. I promise you it really matters. It's when children are considered lost by everyone who cares about them that they really are.
I'm so grateful to have come across your videos. I don't know if I'll ever be a foster parent but you have so much wisdom for how I can better interact with kids in difficult situations in the future. Thank you for doing this! ❤️
Thanks for not exploiting children and giving great ideas about fostering. I've fostered my nieces and nephews off and on throughout their childhood when their parents needed extra help with their lives and not able to provide proper care for them. It really does take a village. They're children for such a short time ❤
These videos are fantastic. Thanks for taking the time. I considered fostering but my situation has changed beyond being able to but I'm glad this is out there as it would have helped me so much
I don’t know how you do it. You’re so strong. I would be the absolute worst foster parent. I’d end up adopting the first round of kids, having no room to help more. I would want to and untimely end up keeping all of them. I couldn’t let them go.
We did foster to adopt through the state. We got beautiful girls. Sadly, one of the sisters wasn't able to stay. Heart broken. Like losing another child. Helplessness. I know where she is now. It's not the best but at least I know she is safe. My daughter we adopted is 11 now (she was 5).. bouncy, happy, went through and graduated trauma therapy, healthy, and thriving in every direction 💖. We are in the process of (a lot of praying right now) fostering to adopt a little young, 2 year old sweetheart. 🙏 . You are amazing! Please keep doing this.. we need a lot more families to understand fostering is a different journey but not a bad one. We lost 6 babies before we decided to take this path. Honestly, it was a plan God had already made his mind up about. She is our blessing, daughter, light of our lives and so much more.
Thank you so much for putting these videos out there. It really helps to bring the process into focus for people who are considering fostering or new to it. I’m working my way through your videos. I’d love to know your thoughts as a foster parent about maintaining a relationship and continued help for teens who age out of the system.
You're so awesome I'm so glad for the kids that have passed through your door and had a real home and a real mom the Foster system is fucked but you give me hope for some of the kids
Thank you for your love and dedication to these little sweet kids at such a very scary time for them.. I cannot even imagine their sadness and fear going through all this !!! God bless your every day!!!!
Ugh!! Ive never gone thru this and it feels heartbreaking! so I can only imagine your sadness!!! I hope you think more about all the amazing days you have that child! You are a wonderful, wonderful person and Foster Parent! We all have big strengths! I'm so happy youve found yours!!!
I want to be a foster parent too once I've finished my teacher training. I think that all we can do is make sure we are in the best position we can be to support the children we work with and accept that sometimes it won't be enough and it won't always be our fault either.
I'm not a foster parent, but I have 5 kids of my own, and I think if you're scared to mess up, that likely means you're perfect for the job. That shows a level of care and concern that these kids need. And realize that an imperfect, but loving and caring foster parent, is much better than none at all or an abusive one. There is always more to learn, but don't let fear stop you from doing it.
I would love to open one up here in deep south texas. It's been a dream of mine for such a long time. My heart belongs to the children. May God Bless You for doing this.
I have no idea how You Tube recommended your channel to me but I'm SO HAPPY it did!!!! The work you are doing is wonderful! Thank you for what you are doing ❤️
This is the first one that made me cry. Giving them back after bonding ( even though it’s 100% best case scenario if the parent/s want the child ) would be so heartbreaking 💔 I can’t imagine my baby going into care it would destroy her. I can’t even hand her to my mum without her melting down. It would be a near impossible job for someone else to care for her
I just.. always think... of that poor foster mom/ & teacher.. who fostered a baby. Who was very badly abused, neglected, & born addicted. She wasn't originally qualified to foster, but did it for that sweet little baby. CPS, ended up giving the parents the baby back, within the week of his return home.. they killed him. THAT sweet foster mom's testimony was THE hardest thing I have ever watched... I cannot imagine the hope & love you'd give to a baby. Then later find.. out... ugly in this world... destroys the innocent. 😞 RIP Dylan Groves, may you forever rest in peace and paradise. Thank you for being a loving human.. kind and caring. 😍
My family used to exclusively foster babies for years, and even though it’s the easiest fostering age category that there is, it was still incredibly hard. Seeing how the abuse and neglect starts so little, having babies with drubs in their systems cry and cry for hours with nothing you can do, watching the cycle repeat with the same parents getting pregnant and having the baby taken away due to neglect over and over, and, of course, letting them go because it feels like giving away your own children when they stay for so long from such a young age. Fostering is hard, it takes a lot of courage and strength and patience and the people who can do it well give me faith in the world.
This honestly is what has stopped me from being a foster mom how do you give them back and not lose your soul. Like I just don't know if I could do that. Edit : actually want to know how you do it. Self care counseling? If I end up doing this I honestly want a battle plan so I don't burn out 2 kids in. My ultimate plan is to adopt since fostering seems to have gotten a bit better with separating ones that might go back with ones that won't. I'm about a year away from this because of construction in my house.
It’s tough. But you remind yourself that you were a part of creating a healthy and happy life for that child while it was with you. If you weren’t there the child could have ended up in a dangerous or abusive situation. Reunification is almost always the goal when you foster. Bio parents can struggle for all kinds of reasons, but with the right help they can become a safe and healthy parent for their child.. And that’s the best possible outcome. And there’s always the situations when kids get taken away from GOOD parents. And you can be such a blessing when the good parents are fighting to get their children back. CPS makes mistakes. But hopefully the kids are in a safe foster home when that happens, because I’ve seen it and it’s devastating.
oh it's all about the children going back to their parents home as soon as they are fit for parenting . Maybe sad for you, but just remember you helped the child through a very difficult situation. You can be proud of yourself and mostly be happy that you could help a family in desperate need. Sadness maybe can be another price to pay, when you are a real good person as a foster mom . Some even adopt a child when it has no family anymore . I think it's so great when the right people do it because it can't be easy at all
@@yeahB thats the thing are they really fit. And its sad for that kid as well they may seem happy because they think it'll be different this time...but it probably won't be. My mom was a foster parent for almost 20 years. She got heavy neglect(not changing diapers for weeks, not feeding ect) to actual abuse ( cigarette burns, cuts, bruises, broken bones) these kids went back multiple times. And I was actually looking for advice on how to handle it like how she copes not just its a blessing to give these innocent babies back to horrible parents.
I’m also on the preparing to foster journey, and an experienced foster parent told me this: We all understand how a traumatic experience in childhood can change and influence a person their entire life. So we hope and pray (fervently) that the judge and case workers make the decision that is best for the child. But even if we disagree with a reunification, know that the weeks/months/years in your home will be a POSITIVE experience for that child that can have an EQUALLY long-lasting impact in their life. It still makes it hard. Counseling and a strong support system for yourself are probably a great idea. I personally plan to take breaks between fostering stays of any significant length of time. But I also found the advice from my friend very helpful when confronting a system that is sometimes very broken, but still wanting to be a positive part of it.
My foster children ( grandchildren ) came to me at 2 and 4 months old it been so tough but worth every moment and sleepless night they are now 4 and just shy of 2 been a crazy adventure ( I was also grieving the loss of my son who passed 52 days before the boys came cleaning out his room was heartbreaking )and can't wait to see where the future takes us xx
I am not fostering. I rent, and my partner has reasons for not being able to participate. That being said I love your channel and am slowly looking for ways to be involved.
It makes me sad and scared for the future to say good bye to children I've been looking after once I start fostering, but I know that if I had a child in foster care I'd want their foster parent(s) to bond with them and really care about them so that I know they're well loved and looked after
As someone who was in foster care I imagine giving kids back to their parents is terrifying they ended up there for a reason and people usually don't change you're sending a child back to most likely end up in the same danger or worse
@@pillowtalk1925 my mother was an alcoholic drug addicted abusive prostitute arrested several times the time that landed us in foster care was for trying to kill her husband in front of us seven months later they were going to give us back because she bought us actual beds and clean clothes. She ended up not coming to the last court date and burned down the house and all the shit she bought. MOST people don't change for real they do enough to get the kids back and revert. A few people do actually change but that's the key word FEW.
Where I live, babies can stay in the mommy and daddy's room up to 3 years old. I take mostly babies cause they're abandoned so much and so often here. Foster care is so hard, but I wouldn't change a thing.
Could you maybe make a video of you showing the difference between experienced fostering and not experienced fostering but with older kids like teenagers just curious! Thanks
Could you do more videos on babies specifically? My husband and I are wanting to start classes and get licensed next year but it seems pretty overwhelming.
We are keeping our baby stuff from our youngest because we have decided to open our home to foster for kids younger than ours. (And sibling sets) when we went into the hosptial to birth our first baby there was another parent who gave birth to a drug addicted baby boy and DCF was called in the hospital. My husband was checking on our baby girl and the baby boy our entire stay. We had a lot of conversations about fostering since then and we can’t wait to give a reprieve to families who need it.
From the videos I've seen, it seems like licensing is much more complicated where you live than here in NC. For instance, we didn't need any supplies to be licensed 0-18 except beds and fire extinguisher/smoke alarm. We also don't do any visit supervision (we actually aren't allowed to) and do very little transport for visits and appointments.
i plan to foster one day when i have the space and money and mental energy, but i think i’ll stick to older kids. i’m not strong enough to foster a baby. teens could keep in touch post-reunification if they want, but a baby wouldn’t even remember me. i’m in awe of anyone who can handle it
What do you do with the kids born with alcohol exposure in the womb? The many many behavioral and developmental difficulties and challenges aren’t easy (I grew up with 3 adopted siblings all with exposure) and it’s a fairly common condition for adopted and foster kids, all things considered. Plus attachment issues usually come in the bundle of symptoms of the condition. How do you manage that?
One of the hardest things I've ever done. And the baby was born addicted to heroin. I really couldn't sympathize with the mom because she had all the available resources and kept using. Babies born addicted need so much time & patience. Plus I was so scared of doing ANYTHING wrong. I would do it all over again though.
I was a baby in foster care. I definitely don't envy the foster carers. I needed special formula and thickening agents in my feeds as i struggled swallowing. I also had several doctors appointments so, i bet it's stressful fostering a baby. They also show trauma in various ways themselves and can't express it properly.
We got my daughter at 9 Months and 66 hours later we were at the Emergency room because she had a subdermal hematoma and hydrocephalus with a shunt dcs only told us about the hydrocephalus not the subdermal hematoma and so when we took her to the hospital the drs had no idea that it was an old hematoma and they assumed that we had beaten her so they took full body xrays and told us that they suspected us of beating her or dropping her which was crazy she had only been with us for less then 3 days and she was in a protective helmet 23 out of 24 hours in the day so there was no way it could have come from us it was the scariest event I have ever been through to be looked apon like you have hurt a baby when you did nothing I almost had a heart attack that night it took the hospital social worker, my agency worker, and several other people to calm me down before It was explained to me that she had the hematoma when she was born we had no clue. I still have PTSD from that night I still get clamy and short of breathe when I talk about it.
I’m curious how technology has impacted this? Like is it way easier because face time, speaker phone, education, etc. I know “easier” isn’t the word, I hate when I’m not with my kids. I see the benefits of helping facilitate that early bond
Quick question, I'm a single guy and I've never been sure about having kids of my own. But the thought of fostering occurred to me the other day before I even saw any of your videos. How hard is it to be approved for fostering kids? I feel while Iight not want kids of my own, being able to foster them would be wonderful
As an adoptee that took 28 years to figure out that adoption grief is very real... yes it is traumatic. Don't assume it doesn't affect people because we forget being an infant... it effects the way the neurons form in the brain and those formations are permanent.
Would you recommend baby foster for beginners? For someone who doesn't have a separate bedroom at all? What are the chances that they will outgrow the legal co-sleeping age while they are with you?
Even non traumatised kids can be difficult. I screamed nonstop my first 1-2 yrs of life and never slept (not like a regular baby, but truly nonstop) my poor parents were always judged, they had friends with kids that did crazy things like look around quietly or sleep. I didnt. Screaming was my main hobby. My cousins kids are also all very easy. My siblings were too. Just me 😂 in return I was an easy toddler, got all my lifes anger out at the start. (Maybe there was a bit trauma? I did almost die at birth. I was a little smurf cause the umbilical cord choked me during every contraction for 40hrs. The doctors sucked and didnt take my parents serious, just dismissed them as anxious new parents. I apparently struggled very very hard during every contraction (which makes sense cause every contraction choked me)) labor took like 48hrs. After my mom was already on bedrest due to migraines and backpain for most of the pregnancy. Fun times.
My Grandmother was a foster mom and it wasn’t until I got older that I realized that she was an awful one for example she would spank the kids, yell at them, and make them stay outside for hours at a time because they were howling like a coyote (crying) so they should live like one. I didn’t think anything of it because that was how I was raised, but now that I am a little older (I’m only 14 but still) I want to do the exact opposite of her and do what you are doing ❤❤
I’m not sure if you previously answered this question, but can you choose which ages you want to foster? And is it guaranteed that you’ll get it if you do? Like if someone only wanted to foster teenagers, could they request that they’re only placed with teenagers?
@@amieparham7657 that makes sense. I was just curious because I know that I would be better able to help those who were in their teens and adolescent phase because I have a harder time with younger kids sometimes. However, I also know that could change over time
Okay this one... This one made me cry 😅😅, I can't imagine handing my daughter over to anyone, that's my entire world, I'd fall apart with out my daughter lol 🥲🥲 not joking tho frfr, she came at a time when I needed her most. She may not understand right now, but I'll make sure she understands when she's older that she's already a superhero, and already saved lives before she was born ❤️❤️
I know think people are gonna have a problem with this comment but do they pay enough to be able to stay home to Foster ? if they don't I'm just wondering how people manage because obviously if you had a baby there you would have to be there 247 or get child care I guess.. I just wonder if maybe that's part of the reason why People do it and don't do it. I know they don't give much if they do give any but do they at least help with stuff like the stroller and car seat things
My main concern with myself (and the only reason I haven't committed) is my fear of forming an attachment because I tend to feel the trauma of those I care about very deeply (sometimes more than my own). Has that been an issue with anyone else and if so, how have you dealt with it?
I'm no foster mom, but I would think to myself this is what I'm supposed to go through as a foster mom, because children can feel safe and comfort with a warm-hearted person like you seem to be . But there are children with detachment disorder for example, who can't feel close to anyone . Then it would again be your turn to not take the rejection personally and still be good and warm, but also strict . I'm sure it's not easy, but you know you do it for the children of. And there's therapy to learn to deal with stuff you may be going through. But I know in America you have to pay doctors bills on your own, when you don't have insurance
Wait so when you foster animals, the organization pays for everything for the animal, including medical care and supplies, do they not do that when you foster humans?
Most states offer financial support when you foster children. In Pennsylvania it is for food, clothing, and other necessities. Kids in foster care in Pennsylvania also get medical and dental care paid for by the state. Thank goodness.
The foster system breaks my heart but I am so glad that people like you are a part of it. I can only imagine how many kids’ lives you’ve positively influenced and changed for the better
I am currently taking care of my sisters daughter born addicted to drugs and having many problems. I don't have any children of my own so everything is a first for us both. All the Dr's visits thereapy sessions and court dates can be so overwhelming but the special moments you speak of make everything worth it. Loving them like they're your own and having to give them back is so hard just thinking about it makes you want to break down. But what's most important is the people like us who are ment to love them even if it's just for a short time. So thank you for being an inspiration for all of us struggling and experiencing these feelings of loss and also overwhelming joy! Much love from Florida
You mean your niece?
I mean obviously.. If I said she's my sisters daughter yes that would make her my niece lol
@@jessicap9402 so just say that
Best of luck to your sisters kids, God bless you for being selfless w your love, money & help
I’m not fostering but you seem like a wonderful person and I want to support your channel. Thank you for helping children
the foster care system is so horrible and broken but i’m so glad there’s people like you who give the kids a positive influence and gives them the care they need. i hope i will be able to foster kids when i’m older. these kids need people like you
It broke my mums heart to see me and my sister going into foster care and we didn’t know what was happening
How did everything work out? Hope you're in a good place now.
@@asssasssin5081 yes but live with 6 annoying siblings
@@lottiebromfield3063 So true Lottie! Perhaps all those other children around provided you and them with an opportunity to gain valuable knowledge in areas requiring good social skills with positive group functioning, such as consideration and empathy for others, sharing/taking turns, how to follow as well as lead, learning through observation, the ability to negotiate successfully, etc. In the home where I was raised along with four other children, I consider their presence an enormous blessing that continues to this day. Many blessings to you and yours!
oh I'm so sorry that happened....why were you taken away from your mom? I hope all worked out for you at the end of the day ❤️
@@gailhitson7340 Best outlook, perspective, and comment. Thank you for it! I am happy you learned from your story and can help others understand these wonderful qualities in their own stories in life
You are and angel doing this for children in need ❤ But I swear, when you handed over the doll in the end I started crying 🥺 It must be extremily hard when it’s time to say goodbye. That shows what an amazing person you are doing this even tho it must be so so hard ❤
The best part is being able to help a family get back on their feet without losing their child entirely. Thank you
The idea of giving the baby back after you’ve taken such good care of them and loved them has me absolutely weeping. Thank you for doing what you do!
Imagine how the child's mother feels after carrying them for 9 months and going to blood and pain to bring them into this world. There are sadly situations where they need to be separated for their safety etc but it's also a flawed system and children that are well take care of and loved do get wrongfully removed sometimes because of a false accusation or an accident that a doctor doesn't believe is an accident.
my mum fosters babies temporarily so only for a little bit and most of the babies have access which is like when they can see there parents but its so sad bc we get attached and then they have to leave 😭😭
Yeah I would never give them back. It would break my heart and drive me crazy. Thinking about if they are being taken care of properly
@@Milkymommy09 oh reading over my comment I realize I totally blew past how the mothers must feel. Especially in the situations you listed it must be beyond devastating. I can’t even imagine what that must be like. When I wrote that I was thinking how it’s just too hard to bear sometimes knowing not all mothers/families are loving and sometimes children have to go back to that and all my instincts just want to protect them. I hope that makes sense. But as this lady says it’s supposed to be all about allowing families a chance to get back on their feet and supporting them and their children in that. I wanted to say I admire anyone who has the heart to do this work, taking care of these children during such a hard time, but you’re right, there is heartbreak on both sides. ❤️
@@Milkymommy09 this was the case with my child. Her twin died of SIDS and the social worker didn't believe it was an accident, especially when the coroner said the cause of death was unknown. They made up allegations after allegations to see if that I never got her back. The first was that I had struck her on the head even though it was a birthmark. I had been told by three different doctors that it was a birthmark. But they didn't believe this or the paperwork that I presented and claimed that I never took her or sister to the doctor and accused me of not taking her for her two months shots, even though she was barely a month old when she was taken by cps. ( Her sister died just before their one month milestone)It was hard for me to go through this especially after the death of her sister. Don't think I would have been able to continue if it wasn't for my husband. We eventually got her back after a year.
People like you make the world a better place. The children and the families you are helping are so lucky.
Watching your videos want me to become a foster parent when i’m older give the people who aren’t as fortunate an amazing childhood they deserve if i had the finically stability i think it would be a great way to live life.
Sooo many more sleepless nights than people often realize. Normal baby challenges but often premature, underweight, struggling with withdrawals/NAS, digestive issues and sensory issues after extended NICU stays. There have been several instances where we’ve had kiddos come straight from the hospital where the first 2-3 months have included feedings every 2 hours round the clock to gain weight, issues with formulas, unable to handle darkness or quiet (post-NICU).
Toss in additional pediatrician appointments, visits with bio-parents (sometimes much more frequently than with older kiddos) and social worker interactions, and it can be non-stop.
However, I’ve not done anything else that rivals the impact and fulfillment than being a foster dad. It ain’t easy, but it’s 10000% worth it. Being able to provide a family for kiddos in need is one of the best things about our crazy life.
I'm still a bit of a hormonal mess after having my daughter and things like this make me cry. I'm so thankful that myself and my husband can give her and our older son the safe and loving home they need and that they didn't have to undergo any of that trauma other poor babies suffer. I feel so grateful that there are people like you in this world who are there for the less fortunate babies to love them and advocate for them without demonising their birth parents ❤️
It's honestly healing for me to see someone so warm in the foster system. Children are fortunate to be with you ❤
Thank you so much for this my moms step mom and her sister are foster parents my grandma has had about 20 children in 4years and one of them stayed for 2and 1 half. We have had some with disabilities trama, scuicide , running away ,non verbals ,autism issues but over time you just have to appreciate that they are not all the same.
I've been watching your shorts. They are very well done and informative. I'm thankful that there are skilled and caring people like you to help children and their families in times of age eed.
I could never foster myself. Personally i grow really attached to kids even when i worked in a daycare. It would take a bad toll on mt mentally, but im so happy there are people like you who can and do do this for children it is amazing
Same
I’m currently fostering a baby and I already love him so much. I cried watching this. He really does have such loving parents and though I’ll be happy when they can be reunited, I know it’s going to be so hard to let him go. All of your videos are great but this one in particular really struck a chord with me.
I love your videos - I didn’t realize how much a Foster Parent worked with the Bio Parents…. That is so great that there’s still a connection to their child. I thought they only spoke to Social Workers and then had their visits. So informative! ❤
The world needs more people like you. I hope I can get into fostering one day.
I grew up with a very hard childhood and any babysitters I had were even worse. It would have been a blessing to be in the foster care system if I had gotten someone like this instead of the awful homes that some kids get cycled through. I confess that I don't have the courage to take on the risk of having to send a child back to a nightmare situation and then learning that the child was injured or killed or anything else by the bio parents. I work elsewhere in a social field and I think I do good work there but it's largely with adults who come from a trauma background. Kudos to the people who can take that emotional risk day after day after day even with babies and small children. I imagine that sometimes the teenagers are the hardest because they've never had anything for so long and because they feel too old to be lovable and to knowledgeable to be as trusting and because all too soon they will be pushed out into the world because of their age when psychologically they may be considerably younger. I will say that every person I met who was kind to me was memorable and most were School teachers. I will always remember them and those little lights in the Darkness are what help struggling children survive and not turn into their bio parents. Sometimes it takes only one person one contact one time to give a child enough hope about other human beings that they hang on and have a basis for recovery. One person lets them know sometimes in a single interaction that all adults are not like that and the whole world is not always like that. Never doubt your influence upon such a child even if you only meet them once for 5 minutes or less. I promise you it really matters. It's when children are considered lost by everyone who cares about them that they really are.
I'm so grateful to have come across your videos. I don't know if I'll ever be a foster parent but you have so much wisdom for how I can better interact with kids in difficult situations in the future. Thank you for doing this! ❤️
I never want to be a parent, but I find Laura's videos so lovely because they are a reminder of how kind someone can be.
Thanks for not exploiting children and giving great ideas about fostering.
I've fostered my nieces and nephews off and on throughout their childhood when their parents needed extra help with their lives and not able to provide proper care for them.
It really does take a village.
They're children for such a short time ❤
The saying goodbye part… 😭❤️bless you for sharing your experience & love w/them. ❤
I love that you encourage to tell the baby goodbye and that you love the baby
These videos are fantastic. Thanks for taking the time. I considered fostering but my situation has changed beyond being able to but I'm glad this is out there as it would have helped me so much
I don’t know how you do it. You’re so strong. I would be the absolute worst foster parent. I’d end up adopting the first round of kids, having no room to help more. I would want to and untimely end up keeping all of them. I couldn’t let them go.
My heart goes out to you. Thank you for your love and hard work, even if you never hear it.
We did foster to adopt through the state. We got beautiful girls. Sadly, one of the sisters wasn't able to stay. Heart broken. Like losing another child. Helplessness. I know where she is now. It's not the best but at least I know she is safe. My daughter we adopted is 11 now (she was 5).. bouncy, happy, went through and graduated trauma therapy, healthy, and thriving in every direction 💖. We are in the process of (a lot of praying right now) fostering to adopt a little young, 2 year old sweetheart. 🙏 . You are amazing! Please keep doing this.. we need a lot more families to understand fostering is a different journey but not a bad one. We lost 6 babies before we decided to take this path. Honestly, it was a plan God had already made his mind up about. She is our blessing, daughter, light of our lives and so much more.
Thank you so much for putting these videos out there. It really helps to bring the process into focus for people who are considering fostering or new to it.
I’m working my way through your videos. I’d love to know your thoughts as a foster parent about maintaining a relationship and continued help for teens who age out of the system.
You're so awesome I'm so glad for the kids that have passed through your door and had a real home and a real mom the Foster system is fucked but you give me hope for some of the kids
Thank you for your love and dedication to these little sweet kids at such a very scary time for them.. I cannot even imagine their sadness and fear going through all this !!! God bless your every day!!!!
Aaaawww you are so special! You make the world a better place !!
These videos make me emotional! Thank you for making them!
Ma’am is doing gods work I have so much respect for you
Which makes “ true Foster Angels”, just That! Angels, who make a difference! Not just in the children’s life, but the parents’ as well!
Blessings!
Ugh!! Ive never gone thru this and it feels heartbreaking! so I can only imagine your sadness!!!
I hope you think more about all the amazing days you have that child! You are a wonderful, wonderful person and Foster Parent! We all have big strengths! I'm so happy youve found yours!!!
Please make more of these.. I've been considering adoption and foster fare for so long, but I've been too terrified I'd mess it up. These really help.
I want to be a foster parent too once I've finished my teacher training. I think that all we can do is make sure we are in the best position we can be to support the children we work with and accept that sometimes it won't be enough and it won't always be our fault either.
I'm not a foster parent, but I have 5 kids of my own, and I think if you're scared to mess up, that likely means you're perfect for the job. That shows a level of care and concern that these kids need.
And realize that an imperfect, but loving and caring foster parent, is much better than none at all or an abusive one. There is always more to learn, but don't let fear stop you from doing it.
I would love to open one up here in deep south texas. It's been a dream of mine for such a long time. My heart belongs to the children. May God Bless You for doing this.
I have no idea how You Tube recommended your channel to me but I'm SO HAPPY it did!!!! The work you are doing is wonderful! Thank you for what you are doing ❤️
Ur amazing! It's takes a village and people like u make the world a better place !!
This is the first one that made me cry. Giving them back after bonding ( even though it’s 100% best case scenario if the parent/s want the child ) would be so heartbreaking 💔 I can’t imagine my baby going into care it would destroy her. I can’t even hand her to my mum without her melting down. It would be a near impossible job for someone else to care for her
Bravo, you are a Saint for the love and care you give, and then have to leave all that to others... Heaven and good fortune be with you 👍
I just.. always think... of that poor foster mom/ & teacher.. who fostered a baby. Who was very badly abused, neglected, & born addicted. She wasn't originally qualified to foster, but did it for that sweet little baby. CPS, ended up giving the parents the baby back, within the week of his return home.. they killed him. THAT sweet foster mom's testimony was THE hardest thing I have ever watched... I cannot imagine the hope & love you'd give to a baby. Then later find.. out... ugly in this world... destroys the innocent. 😞 RIP Dylan Groves, may you forever rest in peace and paradise. Thank you for being a loving human.. kind and caring. 😍
Retired infant foster mom here. Thanks for doing all that you do. Wish I could do more.
Love you!!! Sending prayers for continued success, strength, all the good stuff.
Please pray for me to get a bigger home I want to be a foster mom I have love in my heart to give as my Foster mom and Dad gave me
I just wanted to say to you if Noone has you are doing something amazing and I wish when I was In Foster care their was more parents like you xx
Awe!!! Such a gift for the ones you are helping but it would be so hard when reunification happens.
My family used to exclusively foster babies for years, and even though it’s the easiest fostering age category that there is, it was still incredibly hard. Seeing how the abuse and neglect starts so little, having babies with drubs in their systems cry and cry for hours with nothing you can do, watching the cycle repeat with the same parents getting pregnant and having the baby taken away due to neglect over and over, and, of course, letting them go because it feels like giving away your own children when they stay for so long from such a young age. Fostering is hard, it takes a lot of courage and strength and patience and the people who can do it well give me faith in the world.
God bless you!
Your such a great person
You’re amazing ❤
I'm a foster kid and I'm scared can you do a short on foster kids?
what are you scared of?
God bless you ❤
This honestly is what has stopped me from being a foster mom how do you give them back and not lose your soul. Like I just don't know if I could do that. Edit : actually want to know how you do it. Self care counseling?
If I end up doing this I honestly want a battle plan so I don't burn out 2 kids in.
My ultimate plan is to adopt since fostering seems to have gotten a bit better with separating ones that might go back with ones that won't.
I'm about a year away from this because of construction in my house.
It’s tough. But you remind yourself that you were a part of creating a healthy and happy life for that child while it was with you. If you weren’t there the child could have ended up in a dangerous or abusive situation. Reunification is almost always the goal when you foster. Bio parents can struggle for all kinds of reasons, but with the right help they can become a safe and healthy parent for their child.. And that’s the best possible outcome. And there’s always the situations when kids get taken away from GOOD parents. And you can be such a blessing when the good parents are fighting to get their children back. CPS makes mistakes. But hopefully the kids are in a safe foster home when that happens, because I’ve seen it and it’s devastating.
oh it's all about the children going back to their parents home as soon as they are fit for parenting . Maybe sad for you, but just remember you helped the child through a very difficult situation. You can be proud of yourself and mostly be happy that you could help a family in desperate need. Sadness maybe can be another price to pay, when you are a real good person as a foster mom . Some even adopt a child when it has no family anymore . I think it's so great when the right people do it because it can't be easy at all
@@bri5155 oh I just answered nearly the same . Sorry if it seems like I walked over you for reading your reply after writing mine
@@yeahB thats the thing are they really fit. And its sad for that kid as well they may seem happy because they think it'll be different this time...but it probably won't be. My mom was a foster parent for almost 20 years. She got heavy neglect(not changing diapers for weeks, not feeding ect) to actual abuse ( cigarette burns, cuts, bruises, broken bones) these kids went back multiple times. And I was actually looking for advice on how to handle it like how she copes not just its a blessing to give these innocent babies back to horrible parents.
I’m also on the preparing to foster journey, and an experienced foster parent told me this: We all understand how a traumatic experience in childhood can change and influence a person their entire life. So we hope and pray (fervently) that the judge and case workers make the decision that is best for the child. But even if we disagree with a reunification, know that the weeks/months/years in your home will be a POSITIVE experience for that child that can have an EQUALLY long-lasting impact in their life.
It still makes it hard. Counseling and a strong support system for yourself are probably a great idea. I personally plan to take breaks between fostering stays of any significant length of time. But I also found the advice from my friend very helpful when confronting a system that is sometimes very broken, but still wanting to be a positive part of it.
You really are an awesome person
You are really something special! 💖
My foster children ( grandchildren ) came to me at 2 and 4 months old it been so tough but worth every moment and sleepless night they are now 4 and just shy of 2 been a crazy adventure ( I was also grieving the loss of my son who passed 52 days before the boys came cleaning out his room was heartbreaking )and can't wait to see where the future takes us xx
God bless you. Your doing amazing work ❤
I am not fostering. I rent, and my partner has reasons for not being able to participate. That being said I love your channel and am slowly looking for ways to be involved.
It makes me sad and scared for the future to say good bye to children I've been looking after once I start fostering, but I know that if I had a child in foster care I'd want their foster parent(s) to bond with them and really care about them so that I know they're well loved and looked after
As someone who was in foster care I imagine giving kids back to their parents is terrifying they ended up there for a reason and people usually don't change you're sending a child back to most likely end up in the same danger or worse
as someone who works in it, that is not true. the hoops to get through to get a child back aren’t so simple.
@@pillowtalk1925 my mother was an alcoholic drug addicted abusive prostitute arrested several times the time that landed us in foster care was for trying to kill her husband in front of us seven months later they were going to give us back because she bought us actual beds and clean clothes. She ended up not coming to the last court date and burned down the house and all the shit she bought. MOST people don't change for real they do enough to get the kids back and revert. A few people do actually change but that's the key word FEW.
Where I live, babies can stay in the mommy and daddy's room up to 3 years old. I take mostly babies cause they're abandoned so much and so often here. Foster care is so hard, but I wouldn't change a thing.
You are an inspiration and so amazing! How do you deal with the separation and anxiety of letting them go?
Could you maybe make a video of you showing the difference between experienced fostering and not experienced fostering but with older kids like teenagers just curious! Thanks
I assume she doesn't have that experience
Could you do more videos on babies specifically? My husband and I are wanting to start classes and get licensed next year but it seems pretty overwhelming.
We are keeping our baby stuff from our youngest because we have decided to open our home to foster for kids younger than ours. (And sibling sets) when we went into the hosptial to birth our first baby there was another parent who gave birth to a drug addicted baby boy and DCF was called in the hospital. My husband was checking on our baby girl and the baby boy our entire stay. We had a lot of conversations about fostering since then and we can’t wait to give a reprieve to families who need it.
From the videos I've seen, it seems like licensing is much more complicated where you live than here in NC. For instance, we didn't need any supplies to be licensed 0-18 except beds and fire extinguisher/smoke alarm. We also don't do any visit supervision (we actually aren't allowed to) and do very little transport for visits and appointments.
You are an angel 👼
I’m handicapped now my children are grown I wish so much I could do this ! It breaks my heart ♥️
i plan to foster one day when i have the space and money and mental energy, but i think i’ll stick to older kids. i’m not strong enough to foster a baby. teens could keep in touch post-reunification if they want, but a baby wouldn’t even remember me. i’m in awe of anyone who can handle it
What do you do with the kids born with alcohol exposure in the womb? The many many behavioral and developmental difficulties and challenges aren’t easy (I grew up with 3 adopted siblings all with exposure) and it’s a fairly common condition for adopted and foster kids, all things considered. Plus attachment issues usually come in the bundle of symptoms of the condition. How do you manage that?
My first placement was a 7 days old baby out of the hospital. ❤
good bye must be the hardest part...l can only imagine
God bless you and yours 😊
One of the hardest things I've ever done. And the baby was born addicted to heroin. I really couldn't sympathize with the mom because she had all the available resources and kept using. Babies born addicted need so much time & patience. Plus I was so scared of doing ANYTHING wrong. I would do it all over again though.
You’re an Angel
Anyone else bawling? Just me? Cool.
Wow! ❤
I was a baby in foster care. I definitely don't envy the foster carers. I needed special formula and thickening agents in my feeds as i struggled swallowing. I also had several doctors appointments so, i bet it's stressful fostering a baby. They also show trauma in various ways themselves and can't express it properly.
Saying goodbye is hard!
We got my daughter at 9 Months and 66 hours later we were at the Emergency room because she had a subdermal hematoma and hydrocephalus with a shunt dcs only told us about the hydrocephalus not the subdermal hematoma and so when we took her to the hospital the drs had no idea that it was an old hematoma and they assumed that we had beaten her so they took full body xrays and told us that they suspected us of beating her or dropping her which was crazy she had only been with us for less then 3 days and she was in a protective helmet 23 out of 24 hours in the day so there was no way it could have come from us it was the scariest event I have ever been through to be looked apon like you have hurt a baby when you did nothing I almost had a heart attack that night it took the hospital social worker, my agency worker, and several other people to calm me down before It was explained to me that she had the hematoma when she was born we had no clue. I still have PTSD from that night I still get clamy and short of breathe when I talk about it.
I’m curious how technology has impacted this? Like is it way easier because face time, speaker phone, education, etc. I know “easier” isn’t the word, I hate when I’m not with my kids. I see the benefits of helping facilitate that early bond
Quick question, I'm a single guy and I've never been sure about having kids of my own. But the thought of fostering occurred to me the other day before I even saw any of your videos. How hard is it to be approved for fostering kids? I feel while Iight not want kids of my own, being able to foster them would be wonderful
As an adoptee that took 28 years to figure out that adoption grief is very real... yes it is traumatic. Don't assume it doesn't affect people because we forget being an infant... it effects the way the neurons form in the brain and those formations are permanent.
Would you recommend baby foster for beginners? For someone who doesn't have a separate bedroom at all? What are the chances that they will outgrow the legal co-sleeping age while they are with you?
Have you ever had a foster kid really dislike you? Really curious
Even non traumatised kids can be difficult. I screamed nonstop my first 1-2 yrs of life and never slept (not like a regular baby, but truly nonstop) my poor parents were always judged, they had friends with kids that did crazy things like look around quietly or sleep. I didnt. Screaming was my main hobby. My cousins kids are also all very easy. My siblings were too. Just me 😂 in return I was an easy toddler, got all my lifes anger out at the start.
(Maybe there was a bit trauma? I did almost die at birth. I was a little smurf cause the umbilical cord choked me during every contraction for 40hrs. The doctors sucked and didnt take my parents serious, just dismissed them as anxious new parents. I apparently struggled very very hard during every contraction (which makes sense cause every contraction choked me)) labor took like 48hrs. After my mom was already on bedrest due to migraines and backpain for most of the pregnancy. Fun times.
I’m worried about the saying goodbye part. Do you take time in between kids to self regulate after saying goodbye? Do you worry about them after?
My Grandmother was a foster mom and it wasn’t until I got older that I realized that she was an awful one for example she would spank the kids, yell at them, and make them stay outside for hours at a time because they were howling like a coyote (crying) so they should live like one. I didn’t think anything of it because that was how I was raised, but now that I am a little older (I’m only 14 but still) I want to do the exact opposite of her and do what you are doing ❤❤
I have s foster brother who is a baby, and they are thinking about TPR.
I’m not sure if you previously answered this question, but can you choose which ages you want to foster? And is it guaranteed that you’ll get it if you do? Like if someone only wanted to foster teenagers, could they request that they’re only placed with teenagers?
From my knowledge from a friend, you do get some say in the ages, but that doesn't guarantee that's the only age range you get calls for.
@@amieparham7657 that makes sense. I was just curious because I know that I would be better able to help those who were in their teens and adolescent phase because I have a harder time with younger kids sometimes. However, I also know that could change over time
I wouldn't be able to give the baby back 💔 😭
I have the exact same diaper bag haha
Okay this one... This one made me cry 😅😅, I can't imagine handing my daughter over to anyone, that's my entire world, I'd fall apart with out my daughter lol 🥲🥲 not joking tho frfr, she came at a time when I needed her most. She may not understand right now, but I'll make sure she understands when she's older that she's already a superhero, and already saved lives before she was born ❤️❤️
I know think people are gonna have a problem with this comment but do they pay enough to be able to stay home to Foster ? if they don't I'm just wondering how people manage because obviously if you had a baby there you would have to be there 247 or get child care I guess.. I just wonder if maybe that's part of the reason why People do it and don't do it. I know they don't give much if they do give any but do they at least help with stuff like the stroller and car seat things
Spread the word about God😊
My main concern with myself (and the only reason I haven't committed) is my fear of forming an attachment because I tend to feel the trauma of those I care about very deeply (sometimes more than my own). Has that been an issue with anyone else and if so, how have you dealt with it?
I'm no foster mom, but I would think to myself this is what I'm supposed to go through as a foster mom, because children can feel safe and comfort with a warm-hearted person like you seem to be . But there are children with detachment disorder for example, who can't feel close to anyone . Then it would again be your turn to not take the rejection personally and still be good and warm, but also strict . I'm sure it's not easy, but you know you do it for the children of. And there's therapy to learn to deal with stuff you may be going through. But I know in America you have to pay doctors bills on your own, when you don't have insurance
@@yeahB You've certainly given me some things to consider and I appreciate the honesty in your response ❤️
Wait so when you foster animals, the organization pays for everything for the animal, including medical care and supplies, do they not do that when you foster humans?
Most states offer financial support when you foster children. In Pennsylvania it is for food, clothing, and other necessities. Kids in foster care in Pennsylvania also get medical and dental care paid for by the state. Thank goodness.