Grieving My Old Life
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- Опубліковано 12 січ 2023
- P.O. Box
Jenny Appleford
7211 Haven Ave, Unit E-407
Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91701
INSTAGRAM: jenny_appleford
FACEBOOK: Our Brave Jenny
For business inquiries: veganapplefords@gmail.com
DIAGNOSIS:
March 19th, 2021 Stage IIIA Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (Non-Smoking)
February 2022 Stage IV Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (spreading to Brain, and other parts of lung and lymph nodes)
Gene Mutation EGFR with Exon 20 Insertion
TREATMENTS: Received or currently Receiving
2021: 8 Rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin and Paclitaxel) with 30 concurrent radiation treatments to chest and lung
Failed Immunotherapy directly after Chemo and Radiation (Durvalumab, 1 round)
2022: Chemotherapy
10 rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin, Alimta, and Avastin)
6 with Carboplatin, 4 without
Targeted Brain Radiation (Completed)
CURRENT TREATMENT:
I am on a clinical trial for my specific gene mutation
Our GoFundMe Link:
gofund.me/5edf81e5
The purpose of my channel is to document my cancer journey to look back on, and/or help anyone else going through anything similar. It is also to potentially help loved ones supporting those who are in this fight as well. This is also an easy way to update a lot of people at once. My main goal is to have footage of this journey for my husband and children to look back on. I originally created this channel as a sort of video diary for my
family.
Thank you so much for following along on this journey. Your love and support help me so much.
Hard to believe she is gone in 9 months from making this video….Rest in Peace Beautiful Lady…..
Just thinking the same thing
I’ve been thinking the same thing for the last two days. I feel I should live life to the fullest but my body won’t let me! I have to keep trying though! She’s an amazing inspiration to us! 😢🙏
Life is just so unfair
ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING! 😢❤🙏🏻🦋💎🐞🕯️🎚️🌈💕🌠💐
I keep watching old videos Jenny just to hear her voice and receive inspiration and strength from her. Her voice soothes me, and her calm demeanor always calms me. I miss you so much Jenny.
So true! I was just sitting here wondering what makes me keep coming back to these videos, when it makes me so sad that she's gone, and you summed it up well.
I don’t think you realise how great a mother you are. Winnie & Ellis won’t remember the things you didn’t do. They’ll treasure the things you did and the enormous love you show them. I do wish that you’d consider a Go Fund Me. Having some part-time help could make such a difference & so many of us would gladly contribute. You’re family to us.
@@SuperChristine000 Thank you! I hadn’t spotted that link. On my way there now.
Such a powerful comment 👏 ❤🌹🌻
@@jojoFranklin his fellow teachers donated their sick pay to them. They have went to Hawaii Las Vegas and other places, gifts from other people. The amount of help this wonderful family has gave them a sense of normalcy thru this horrible time. You can still donate or send gifts or letters to them Jenny's got quite a group of fans on here. I hope this answered your question about donations. 💜
So heartbreaking. She was such a wonderful mother. Life on this earth is so unfair.
it's unbelievable how fast things went from okay to that live on October 29th. I've been watching her videos over and over. I miss her so much.
As a fellow cancer fighter and a mom I get you completely, just wanted to give you a virtual hug ❤ thank you for your honesty and openness, thank you for your effort every minute of the day, youre doing a great job 💪
Praying for you ❤️🙏🏻
❤❤❤
Huge hug to you too girl! Such beautiful loving women, who are fighting to be mommas while we can! Proud of you too Amber
You are such an inspiration, I starting following you a while ago, and you are a beautiful woman 👩 ❤️. Your kids and husband are so supportive... I want to give or shall I say send you a virtual HUG 🫂 🤗.. Stay strong, easier said than done I know.. I look forward to your next video to see how you are doing. Hugs from my hubby and myself. Love ❤️ front Calgary Alberta Canada 🇨🇦 ❤️ ♥️ 😍 💙 💕 🇨🇦 ❤️ ♥️ 😍 💙 💕 🇨🇦 ❤️ ♥️ 😍 💙 💕 🇨🇦 ❤️ ♥️ 😍 💙 💕
I’m about halfway through and just wanted to say Jenny, please be kind to yourself ❤ We are so good at beating ourselves up over every little choice we make. Would we do the same to others though? Of course not. So please, please be kind and loving to yourself my dear.
We are here for you! Lots of love to you always! ❤❤❤❤
Jenny, even if you didn’t do a quarter of what you are doing for your children right now, it would still be “good enough”. Right now you aren’t just a stay at home mom but you are fighting for your life - and that is a way bigger job than going to work or a side hustle or whatever would be! This fight is your full time job 24 hours a day, every day in the week, no time off. Of course you need help to manage those 2 tasks, everybody would need help in this situation. There is only so much energy in you and you have to use that carefully. Btw. you know, who is the biggest thief of energy ? Pain ! So please, take your pain medicine BEFORE the pain starts robbing the energy, either just on a schedule or right at the start when you notice the first hint, that the pain might start. It’s not the time to fight that fight of “I am strong, I can handle that pain” right now. You want to spend the time with your family pain free and you deserve so. I had to learn that lesson, too (still am 🥴). Bless you and don’t forget, you are the best mom your kids could ask for 💕
I miss this beautiful lady. She gave me so much hope. RIP Jenny.
She's now looking at her earthly life in a whole new light
Maybe check and see if home health can stop by a couple days a week and give a hand with laundry, meal planning etc. just for a while until your strength gets better. Thank you for your videos such a wonderful family
I sure miss you already!!!❤❤❤
Hi Jenny, I have my family/friends taking turns to be with me during the week, even just for few hours. When I am alone both physical and emotional burden is unbearable. Consider having your mom, dad, sister coming taking turns. Don't stay alone in the house. Many hugs.
Jenny I’m sad that I found your videos at the end of your life. But in honor of you I am watching videos of you and your beautiful family. ❤
It’s okay if your daughter isn’t entertained all the time when you stay at home. Children can learn self reliance and you are doing the best that you can. One thing that might help is a playbook that she could listen to stories from if you need to rest. Buy some that teach her to read and print letters. I learned to read at 2-3 years old based on some of these types of ‘paper resources’. I remember doing this when my mom underwent some major surgery when I was young and my daughter learned using playbooks in the same way. Learning to read at a young age is so much fun for a child. The other suggestion that might help a little is to have Kyle pre-prepare the lunches and breakfast with help,from your son in the evenings. I leaned how to make my own lunch at 4 with some help. It’s great that you had Winnie help make lunch. The more she does the better and she will really feel like she helped you. Hang in there.
I have been following your videos for a while and I want you to know that we all just really love and miss you so much I’ve never met you but I’m crying right now….❤
I’m proud of you too! Cancer is not easy! It effects everyone differently. I grieve for my old self, my BC self! I also tired all the time. I get up eat and I’m ready to go back to bed. But I don’t. An idea- what if Winni went to spend the day with your dad so you could relax and sleep? Maybe you could do this once/week. Hang in there! Your kids are beautiful!
I really thought she would beat this cancer.
Such a touching story. I bawled my eyes out when they told her she only had so much time left. 😢
Hi Jenny Maybe you should just relax more it doesn't make you less of a mother because your sick..we no you love your kids but you need to take care of yourself..just saying beautiful ❤️ You look a little tired and looking depressed.. you're doing fine just take it easy. everyone understands..your a good mother and no one can take that away...
Big HUGS 🪴
OMG, Jenny. Food prep, walking to school and dance, art, playing, baby-sitting, in pain, and making videos for UA-cam. Dealing withsink problems, emotional problems, pain
I shudder to think about your IDEAL energy levels! THIS much wouldcompletely exhaust me!!!
I’m grieving with you. I have an illness. I’m scared my kids won’t know how much I love them 😢
They know Their Mama's LOVE Andrea♡♡~Sending Big Hugs Tonight From Holly in Surprise, Arizona☆☆...
Hi Jenny, Been thinking of you all week. It’s early Sat. a.m., and you got through the first week of Kyle being back at work. I can sense it’s been trying, tiring and sad. (It’s not easy being unwell. Your world gets smaller, you feel you’re letting everyone down, and that’s particularly heartbreaking when it’s Ellis or Winnie.) We’re always here if you want to vent, cry, whatever you need. Much love to you and all! ♥️✨🌅
When I was pregnant with my twins, I had 2 small children home with me. I was so sick. No energy, sick all of the time and a husband that was working long hours. I cried a lot and I am not one who cries often. I would literally lay on our living room floor while they played around me. They are teens now and I just asked them what they remember of that time. They remember my presence. I was there with them and we cuddled a lot. They remember being able to help me. Littles love to help. They helped 'fold' clothes and definitely got more screen time than usual, but they don't look back on that time as a burden on them. I know it isn't the same as having cancer, but I promise, your kids will look back on this time and remember how hard to worked to make this time special while fighting cancer. They will see you as strong and amazing mother. Also, take the help. There is no shame in that. I wish I had asked for more help. It may help to have some kind of schedule so you don't wait until you are beyond exhausted to ask for help.
I was a single mom for my daughters entire life! And your so right! They do not remember any of the stuff that we as moms feel so much guilt about. I was working and going to college full time when she was a baby and I had major health issues after her birth and a spinal injury. Anyway, I would be so exhausted but too stubborn to ask for help, (also my family was not safe to ask as they were abusive to me and I’d never allow my daughter around that) anyway, i remember laying on the floor crying or dosing off so many times when she was small. I bought a huge play pin inclosure so she couldn’t get away from me if I fell asleep but I’d be inside it w/ her as I wanted to be there for her every need but I was so over worked and physically exhausted. She’s now an adult and has zero memory of any of that. She only remembers my presence and unconditional love. It blows my mind at times when she thanks me for things I forgot I even did at times. Kids are so resilient. Your so right!!!! ❤❤❤
Do you qualify for free home care? You should call social services and get the ball rolling on that. My neighbor had a volunteer come to her house to help with her 3 year old when she was battling stage 4 stomache cancer. By the way she survived! And you will to! Please look into this.
I don't know how much easier this is gonna get personally I think Kyle might have to become your full time carer for a longer time just take care it's definetly putting a big strain on you hope something works out ♥️♥️♥️♥️🐾🐾🌟🌟🌟
Sure do miss this beautiful, sweet, brave woman❤
RIP Jenny ❤🦋🐞
After years of suffering my mother died of cancer when I was 11, you are leaving your 2 children wonderful memories of mommy. I wish I had the power to fix things like this….but all I have is prayers and good vibes sent your way. Kyle is a blessing but you already know that, your children are precious and you are a wonderful mom. God Bless. ❤️ 🙏
Oh Jenny , Bless you .
I wish Kyle could be with everyday .
I made a donation to your original Go Fund Me , but would definitely donate to a “KYLE STAY AT HOME “ fund as well 😬
❤
Dont be afraid to ask for extra help as its an important part of your wellbeing and mental health. Your an amazing mum and a excellent role model for your kids, they will love you unconditionally ❤.
The video of her with her daughter is just heart-breaking. I have four kids, and cannot imagine being in this scenario.
Hi Jenni, Can you perhaps send the little one to nursery school for a few hours a day? At her age she would probably love the interaction with other kids. It will give you a few hours of rest which it seems like you still absolutely need! Hugs from LA
I actually understand why Jenni wants to spend as much time with her daughter as she can. It would be more difficult to find energy to dress, drive and pick up her daughter plus going to dance. Jenny....one day at a time. You are doing a great job!
It seems that you’ve become a deeper person - with more layers, and have gained more empathy. You are simply the best kind of person that there is.❤
When I developed developed severe lung disease suddenly appearing at your age, I had to re-imagine everything I could do.
I had to give up my nursing job that I loved and I did grieve for years. My husband couldn’t quit work ( I was in a wheelchair) my son was 4. So my mom helped a lot but why not pick your boy up Thursday & Thursday? Makes sandwiches instead of pasta for lunch. Just being there makes you super Mom the rest is just not important. My O.T, helped quite a bit.
You go girl, you can do this be an at home Mom doesn’t have to mean you can’t do things differently.
Have you considered that you may be pushing yourself too much to be the “perfect” mom. Have you considered a play group for Winnie during the day or a Mothers Day Out program near by so you can rest for a couple of hours everyday? I think both of you would benefit. Definitely enriching for Winnie. ❤❤❤❤
Do you have any help at home? When my friend was going thru something similar to you....girlfriends (me included) just made up a roster to help with a bit of housework and doing the washing. Each person went for 3-4 hours each week.....with 6 friends it worked out to be once every 6 weeks. With Kyle back at work it would make things more managable for you.
Jenny please don’t be so hard on yourself. You have every right to grieve. If pain medicine helps you through your day, please take it. I am a 2 time cancer survivor and my kids were teens. It must be so hard when they are little. Chemo is exhausting. You are doing great. God Bless.
JENNY- Be gentle with yourself; You are amazing. Grief is exhausting so I hope you can rest your body. ❤
Wasaaayy too stubborn my gorgeous girl. Just say yes to the pain relief and housework help - that gives you time with the kids. Quilting is super special. Always here for you Jen, x Deb
I know you don't want to take narcotics but they're going to give you a better quality of life. Being in chronic pain and severe pain makes you just not want to do anything. You need to take it so that you were able to enjoy your life better.
I 💯 percent agree! I have chronic pain. I cannot function without it. I’ve been on it since about 2000. I sure hope she takes her medicine. I’m almost at the end of the video where she just said she took her pain meds and it really helped … because it really does help. ❤❤❤
Don't be too hard on yourself. Things are different and you move a bit slower but you are still being an amazing molto your kids. Cancer is heartbreaking and grieving is part of living and loving. God has given us these deep loving feelings and He will give you strength even when you feel so weak. Day by day Jenny that is all a person can do. Well Done!
I'm really proud of you for taking your pain medication too! I know it's not easy for you. 💌
Yes ! Please take your pain medication… pain in and of itself is exhausting… if you can lighten your pain level, you might feel less exhausted and able to do a little more, which will help you feel more positive about everything… blessings to you…🙏🏻❤️
As someone with disabilities I can tell you that once your body loses its core strength and stamina it’s very difficult to rebuild it. I respect you so much for the commitment that you have to being a stay home mother in every way for your children. I do think you need to be more gentle with yourself, accept that you can’t do it alone, forgive yourself for not being able to meet your own expectations, and rely on every form of support you have including medication. I understand being stubborn, but do you have children that you want to care for and that means that you can’t be in pain constantly. If the pain medication works well for you, then you need to use it. I wouldn’t worry about becoming addicted, you seem like the kind of person that would be able to stop if she had to or wanted to. Lots of love to you Jenny… You and your family are always in my prayers. 💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻
Plus there is help if you do get addicted
It's not addiction that's the issue. Rather, if taken too often, they lose their strength over time. The body becomes immune. Any anesthesiologist, doctor and pharmacist will tell you that. That's why pain specialists are so important, their guidance. And using them cautiously for maximum benefits from them.
@@donnabaardsen5372 Yes, it’s TOLERANCE that builds over time. That’s a horse of a different color. It’s unfortunate people suffer when Rxs exist with longer half lives; meaning, you do NOT need to take more & more. It’s not profitable though. SMH 🤦🏻♀️💜
So very well said! I hope Jenny reads this.
I have been taking heavy duty pain meds daily for 19 years next month, and have had no issues with them not working for dramatically lowering my pain levels. They are prescribed from my pain specialist doctor and take them to control my pain issues.
Hello Jen. I am not sure if your reluctance to use pain medications is due to a fear of addiction or not, but that is an issue for many people. There is a difference between addiction and dependence. You would not say a diabetic is addicted to insulin. He/she is dependent on it. Addicts take medications to get high. People who are dependent take medication to treat specific symptoms. An addict will take ever increasing amounts to reach that high. People who are dependent take the medications as prescribed. You are dependent on pain medications, but as the pain changes, so will your use. I understand the grieving for the loss of who you were and who you wanted to be. I was so naïve. I thought that after chemo, it would take me a month or so to get back to where I was. LOL. Cancer truly is a fork in the road. What has saved me is my profound gratitude. I am alive when so many are not. I have learned and grown, perhaps differently than without the cancer, but I am a better person now than before the cancer. This is a profound and multi dimensional journey you are on. I wish you all the best.
Dear Jenny, you are doing great. Don't be too hard on yourself, the children love you and know that not everything can happen quickly. Take your time and don't put any pressure on yourself. I send you a big hug
❤ wow looking back on these... RIP JENNY🙏🏻🕊️
Rip angel ull be missed
Take the pain meds as directed. Unless you start taking more than prescribed without your docs approval, it is extremely unlikely you will get addicted. Pain meds are useful. Please use them, and forget about becoming addicted. Hugs
To do what you want you need pain control.
Acceptance will possibly help you
Something for depression may also help.
You are going through a lot and doing great and being very brave
Do whatever it takes to give you peace and the ability to spend quality time with your kids.
That quilt is gorgeous
Do what helps you spend quality time with your family because that is everything and you are so blessed to have them and I see they are your world. And obviously you are a great and wonderful special blessing to them and everyone lucky enough to know you.
I remember raising my two boys they were my world so I understand.
You are doing really well but you don’t deserve to feel like you are not doing enough you are doing everything you can possibly do with fatigue and pain and weakness
🙏
Dilaudid is a very strong narcotic perhaps something not as strong might help.
I’m an RN so I can’t help but be a nurse.
I hate to see people struggle and hurt.
The key is to taking you pain medicine every is to take it every 4 to 6 hours that way your pain does not get out of control and you have a level in your bloodstream at all times.
This may be how you could take something less potent than dilaudid
Take care and I hope you feel better soon
My dearest sweetest Jenny. Where does one begin to say how amazing, inspirational, encouraging and full of hope you are. I love you and your whole precious family. What a blessing all of you are. I think of you and your family everyday. Continuing to pray for complete recovery🙏🦋
Your doing a great job! Ask for help….I’m sure it makes your family happy to help and be with you ❤. One day at a time…..you got this!
@@darleneermis4903 1
Aww. Look how good she looked. So nice to hear her voice. You are so missed Jenny. No more suffering
I am so glad you have decided to accept more help Jenny. I really believe when you find the right balance for you between alone time with the kids and time with help, the time you spend together will feel even more rewarding and less exhausting. To be a stay-at-home mom, doesn't mean you need to stay at home alone.
I don’t understand why parents think they have to amuse their child every minute . If you were healthy enough you would be doing chores through the day . Give yourself a break Winnie needs to learn to play by herself sometimes. You are an amazing mother and I totally understand your need to spend every minute with the kids but take care of yourself too. Kids are super resilient ,they go with the flow, I think the crying is more damaging to Winnie than if you laid down and let Winnie play on the floor. Ask Dad for help , even a break to lay down for an hour would help. I wish I lived closer , I wish I was your relative and could help you every day. Being stubborn is to your detriment . yah your sister and Dad are gonna help ! The kids will be fine ,you are such good parents that you will get them through everything .
You're a fantastic mom!!!
💜 don't overdo it..your doing beautiful...if you fatigue too much you won't be able to do anything.🦋 Huggies.
Jenny, I sooo get it! We want our old functioning bodies back. I’m so proud of what you accomplished. Look at it as a trial run and you tweaking it along the way. My love, prayers and gentle hugs being sent your way. 💖🙏🏼
Ask for help...don't let pride get in the way!!!
Jenny please be gentler on yourself. Going through cancer is hard enough, but adding mommy to that role is hard, really hard. Don’t worry about the house, cleaning, dishes it will all be there when you are able to get to them. I love to stay in my pajamas, it’s ok. You are a great mom, and right now you also have to consider your health. The kids love you so much and at the end of the day, YOU DID IT! As a cancer survivor who had children at home I get it, all of it. It is ok to have these feelings, I honestly think it is normal with cancer patients, we are here to listen. You take care my dear, one step at a time❣️
Hi Jenny, I wish I could wave a wand and make cancer go away. Pain is so depressing. I have chronic pain from osteoarthritis and when I do too much, just every day stuff, the pain makes me depressed. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability. Take all the help you can get and when you need it take your medication.
I’ll pray for you to have a wonderful day tomorrow with your children and free of pain. Much aloha
Your kiddos will learn to be more independent and self sufficient. That’s not a bad thing! BTW, I love the light board. I’ll have to see if I can find one to buy.
Jenny why don't you get help. You can even ask your dad. It is a lot for you. I must say your doing a good job.
Jenny you are doing a great job, you’re adjusting to this new life now Kyle is back at work, you knew you would struggle and it’s probably been a little harder than you expected which has made you feel really down, that’s understandable but like you say you did it 👍👏. Maybe if your dad could help one day and your sister another day then you will only be doing 3 days instead of 5, I have no idea how cancer pain/fatigue works so forgive me if this is no help but if you get complete rest for the 2 days your family help would you have more energy when you have Winnie the days after? It’s just a thought. I really feel for you and sending you love from the uk 🇬🇧
You are a total champion. It hurts me to see you so tired, so concerned about doing a good job parenting. Honestly, you're doing a magnificent job with the kids.
Just a thought: Have you considered day care for Winnie? She is such a social child that she might love being with other kids. Even if she went only a few times a week, it would give you a break, would help you rest and perhaps get some of your strength back.
My 3 sons all went to day care and after school care as my husband and I both worked full time (I was a Chicago school teacher) and they still have fond memories of that time .
Thinking of you daily with love and prayers. 💕
Be gentle and kind to yourself dearJenny.
The sweetest lovely lady. Bless you Jenny ❤
We're with you beautiful Jenny, feel our love, stay strong. XXX
I feel everything you are saying and feeling ❤️ hugs 🤗
Try not to be too hard on yourself. Adjusting to a new routine is rough, adding the uncertainty of chronic illness and chaos of young children (while lovely) doesn’t make it easier. Grief comes in waves and will hit you when you least expect it. ❤
not taking your pain meds will make you more exhausted, because you are in pain. Please take your pain meds if you need them! We are thinking of you and you are in our prayers!
I’m stubborn, as well, so I understand wanting to regain your independence. Use your resources. I had major back surgery. I learned the hard way to ask for help. If you delegate tasks, you’ll most likely, be able to spend more quality time with your loved ones. If you accept the help, it will, probably, help Kyle worry less. Get better and keep making wonderful memories!😊🇨🇦
I so feel for you. It sounds like your thinking about SAHM life is all or nothing - what if you think about it as 80/20 or 70/30? Having help and some TV once in a while doesn't mean you're not doing it. You're doing it! And you're doing it with love and kindness❤️
My grandaughter and I used to have pajama days. Seeing that it's raining and cold you deserve a pajama day. Take it as easy as you can. Any time spent with your kids they will remember.
Your doing great. Being a mother is exhausting for everyone. Remember your kids don’t always have to be doing something and they can play alone at times. Your amazing and give yourself a break
You've done so well, especially since you're battling a cold. Grieving the loss of your old life can't be easy. It's something we just don't expect to have to deal with. Being stubborn is not a bad thing. It just propelles us to not give up.
Don't feel guilty for being physically weak right now. It's a dreary time of year.
Jenny, you say the things that I am thinking in my own cancer journey. When I was diagnosed in April 2021, my mom gave me a little sign that says "It's okay to ask for help". I see it every day and it reminds me that is really is OK, because I'm TERRIBLE at asking for help! But we can't do this alone. Blessings to you and your beautiful family ❤
You sound like you have an amazing mom! That is so thoughtful 🥹
Hugs everyone sick grieves the loss of their former self. I still get this after more than 30 years! One of the hardest things is to ask for help. Take your pain meds as soon as you need them it will prevent a whole lot of misery.
4 months already since Jenny became a heavenly angel. Grieving what you hoped life would be seems totally normal.
Give yourself a week or so to build up your stamina. Anyone who has not been full on for a time especially with all you have been through will take time to adjust to a new routine.
Jenny, as a stage 4 cancer patient myself, I am with you. I totally understand your “stubbornness “when it comes to pain meds and trying to make sure I can still do what I used to be able to do. I have the same struggle too. My kids are older so I don’t need to be physically attentive. But the emotion is the same. You are an inspiration to me. Let us treasure the time we have with our kids.
Lots of love and prayers xxx
Jenny iteally dont kmow how u feel but u habe a wnderrul family i teally envy u that wishe i could have that god bless you
I don’t have cancer sweet Jenny and don’t pretend to know what it’s like. But I understand your grieving. I was always active. Enjoying walking, cycling, swimming, raking leaves, shovelling snow, cutting grass (push lawn mower) and going to the gym in winter. Then I had a TIA and have had Fibromyalgia ever since. Hard pill to swallow. No more muscle strength, widespread pain and fatigue. I so wanted to do the things I used to do. It took a lot of time to accept. I’m older now and ask for help (though it was hard). But I still think of those pre fibro days. Life doesn’t always go the way we expected. But we make the best of it and enjoy it. Hugs from Canada.
You are a awesome mom. Don't ever forget that.
Advise from someone who is not sick is maybe not helpful, but if it were a neighbor or relative in your position you wouldn't question that person's need for help. You deserve as much. God bless
You’re doing great Jenny, you’re a great mum, you can’t help being sick, don’t feel guilty about things you can’t do, you will find your own routine that you can manage, ask for help. Take the pain killers when you need them. It’s early days of doing things on your own, take one day at a time and think of the good things you managed to do even the smallest ones. Sending you all lots of love and prayers xxx
Jenny, you will make it happen.
It's going to take time to regain strength. It's going to take help at times.
You will find the balance. Recharge this weekend. ❤
The weather is wet and gray which does not pick up spirits! Be proud of yourself because you are an amazing person❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
When I was pregnant with my second child I had terrible morning sickness and I was pathetic!! I found it really hard coping with my 3 year old. You are coping with so much more and doing it all with such courage and grace. You are a lovely mum. X
I’m sure like Kyle does. There’s some comfort in looking back on all the videos of Jenny because we miss her so much and I only knew her through this channel. Stories like Jenny’s and Kyles make you feel like life is so unfair. We all wanted her to live a long life with Kyle and the children and it’s so heartbreaking that she had to leave. She was so brave and fought so hard for her family that she loved so very much. Kyle you couldn’t have been a better husband. ❤
I can see why this comes up so much for you... to have to completely change how you will live life, most likely for the rest of your life, is unfair and I am sorry your family has to go through this. I've had to completely change my life as well since I have a TBI, and I miss who I used to be. I'm sure that having small children and a husband you love so much makes it 1000% harder.
Glorious Quilts!💛Stay strong definitely recruit family to come through to engage with Winne so you can take a real one hour nap . Also sign Winne up for daycare twice a week. If will give her a structured busy day of activity and give you 2 days out of the week to rest and recharge.
You are doing amazingly well Jenny, but please please please except the help from your family when you need to. I'm sure they will be wondering how you are managing and are just waiting for you to ask for help. Don't feel bad about that, many in your position would just curl up all day and cry. (Me included ). Your strength amazes me with every video. Lots of love from the UK. xxx
You WILL occasionally need help Jenny - your doing great and doing more than most. But the best help you can give YOURSELF....take the pain medication & dont let the pain drain you down. Your a wonderful mamma xx
OMG girl! I think we all grieve our former life. We have that in common. It has helped me to meditate with a friend who is Buddhist. Some of the Buddhist philosophy has helped me to breathe and just experience this new reality. Be kind to yourself.
Sending you all my love. People tend to focus on the physical aspects of illness don’t they like meds side effects and symptoms of the illness and they forget how it affects us mentally with depression anxiety and guilt (even though we shouldn’t we do feel it) and we grieve ourselves and our bodies and lives being different. The mental health side of illness is exhausting in itself without the physical effects too x
Im so so sad this beautiful soul is gone. Her little girly winnie reminds me of my little one about to turn 4. They have similar facial expressions. How awful leaving her babies I can't imagine the pain she felt with that knowledge. I think as mum's that's are biggest fear, leaving them. I really hope she's somewhere divine and magical and there's something else for us all after life here ❤
Best best mummy, her kids will cherish these videos one day and they are a gift from they're mum to get the same sense of knowing her like so many people watching is powerful.
I can’t believe she is gone. I m from another side of the world, never see her in person but i still think about her every day. She will never be forgotten. Rest in peace dear Jenny ❤.
It’s ok Jenny. Everyone knows how hard you’re trying. My son was young when I was diagnosed too and sometimes they get to learn knew skills as a result, like learning to play independently a little more. You don’t need to necessarily be out of bed all the time to care for your babies. Maybe Kyle and you could devise some new ways for going forward. It won’t be worse, just different. There can be a great deal of self esteem to be gained from learning independence a little earlier. I’m talking within reason obviously, the sort of adjustments Kyle often talks about, and whatever other help you can reasonably take. Have you ever heard of spoon theory Jenny? Maybe look that up? If you’re expecting to do things just as you’d like, you’re just facing a losing battle so don’t fight it, just incorporate change, roll with it and prioritize what you absolutely must keep in your life somehow. Compromise and putting yourself first darling lady. All of that teaches your kids great lessons about learning to value themselves and handle change (great lessons anyway). Other than that they’ll adjust and what matters to them is that you are there, not that you are making wowzer lunches or dressing on a particular schedule or doing activities you find too draining. Your priority naturally is to continue to be there with them so you need to change some things so that can happen ok? Some suggestions might be to adjust your schedule, not change Winnie at all on certain days (why does it matter?), finding activities the kids can do on their own or on the floor or on a small chair beside your bed while you rest (not sleep just rest), have a schedule of one person per day from each of your family members whom you can call on if you really can’t cope and need them to come while you rest, using your pain meds before the day starts so that the pain never gets too bad while you’re on your own. You get the gist. Gosh I feel worried about saying all this though. I’m so worried that you can’t hear my voice or my tone or see my face or know how much I know how you feel or what’s in my heart. I may just seem like some stranger busybody! 🥹😫. Obviously you do you my love but I’ve just seen this and learned this all before and I don’t want you to suffer any more than you need to. I’ll shut up now. I’m thinking of you always and sending you my best wishes. Hugs 🤗 for days!
I love listening to how your day went...especially with the kids. Keep ahead of your pain with your pain pills if you can and you can still take care of the kids. You are such a lovely person and Prayers for tomorrow that you will feel stronger... I will be sitting here waiting to hear how your day went. Prayers for you sweet person.
Thinking of you. Sending you healing thoughts. Big hugs.❤️
You are amazing. Remember, people take great joy in being able to help you. ❤
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Please don’t push yourself too much. Being a stay at home mom is physically and mentally exhausting without cancer.
I hope you are feeling better. . Being a stay at home is exhausting! And with you healing 💗 it is so good for you to have extra help when you need it. I love that your sister is a nurse, and is able to make you feel better. Those long talks with family really help. I don't like to take pain meds either, but some days I'm sure a little relief of pain will help you feel stronger in the long run. Just taking the edge off any discomfort could really help you get through a harder day. And could lead you to better days where you feel stronger. So, I think it's a valid reason :) And could be a decision that comes without Mom guilt, or fear.. which is easier to write then do! - But sometimes we just have to do what's best for us. 🌞 Thanks for the video. As always you are in my prayers. Prayers for continued healing, as always.
Sending STRENGTH! You are absolutely incredible ❤️.