Trichotillomania: Treating BFRB's like Hair-Pulling Disorder and Skin-Picking Excoriation
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
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Trichotillomania, also known as hair-pulling disorder, is a mental health disorder you have repetitive urges to pull your own hair. And it’s not just the hair on your head; people can pull hair from their eyebrows, eyelashes, and other body parts.
And this is an interesting compulsive cycle, because this condition often triggers a sense of increasing tension before pulling and a sense of relief or pleasure after pulling. Sometimes they have a ritual of touching the hair, putting it in their mouth, examining or biting the follicle, or even eating the hair. It's a compulsive cycle that can be challenging to break.
I recently interviewed Dr. Michael Twohig, an expert on trich, and in this video I’m going to summarize what I learned about what causes trichotollomania, and how it can be treated- both psychologically, with habit reversal training and breaking the cycle of giving in to urges, and with medication and nutritional treatments.
To clarify, trichotillomania isn't simply a "bad habit." The APA classifies it within the group of disorders known as "Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders." These include OCD, body dysmorphic disorder, hoarding, skin-picking disorder, and other types of BFRB’s (Body focused repetitive disorders which include nail biting, lip biting, cheek chewing, and others). But for many people, these BFRB’s become so severe that people are missing large chunks of hair, or skin or they work hard to cover it up with wigs and makeup.
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I’ve been a habitual skin picker my whole life. It is definitely a perfectionism thing for me. I zone out and just start picking. Sometimes I become aware and my brain screams to stop but I HAVE to fix it. My goal is to feel my skin on my face and feel no bumps whatsoever. All I heard my entire life was, “Stop picking your face!” But I’m 42 now, and I still pick. It’s so engrained in me it’s part of who I am.
I feel the same way. It is so apart of who I am that it feels almost impossible to stop and that's the worst part about it, especially because it brings me so much shame. I hope Emma makes more videos on this so we can have a better understanding of why we constantly fall into this pattern. Just know that you are not alone and I am rooting for you❤
wow. this is literally me.
@@itselizabitch I’m sorry to hear that. Hugs 🫂
I feel ya. But for me its my hair. Ill be walking around a store & ill be just pulling my hair out. Completely unaware of doing it then suddenly I'm aware. Self conscious that ppl noticed. I look around to see if anyone is watching me. So embarrassing
Relatable. I’ve been a habitual skin picker since I was a teenager. For me it’s my fingers and hands, but I have the same urge to “perfect” my skin. Rationally I know I’m only making it worse, but when I feel a rough edge (often where the skin is healing from picking or from eczema, which may have been what started the whole thing) I have to try to smooth it by picking or biting. I often don’t realize I’m doing it, especially when I’m stressed. The only things that have helped me personally are wearing gloves or using some kind of fidget. I was also diagnosed with ADHD this year, and I’ve noticed that my ADHD medication seems to also reduce my skin picking, and I find that really interesting.
I used to have Trich periodically and it was stress related. Working on nervous system regulation (Somatic Experiencing) and TONS of bottom up somatic emotional work and I no longer have it (and also no longer have anxiety issues or depression).
I think Trich is an anxiety disorder that can occur when someone is repressing/suppressing emotions. Anxiety can occur because the brain decides the emotions are too dangerous to feel.
@@evelinel.9827wow, never thought about it like that. Any recommendations you have for somatic work?
Can you share where you found that Somatic work? With a practitioner or...?
To people who may know someone with a BFRB from someone who has a BFRB, please do not assume everyone with this problem wants you to bring their behavior to their attention. I was working on some pretty bad skin picking issues a few years ago when a former client felt the "need" to continuously "remind me" (her words) nag and shame me (my words) of my behaviors. Her nagging only increased my shame and anxiety and actually made the behavior worse. Wait for someone to ask for your "help" and if no one asks, please, mind your own business! Thank You!
I’m so glad you bought that to others attention. My parents used to try and shame me which only made me feel worse. I finally told my mother a few years ago that I didn’t like it and it didn’t help my condition. I’ve taken medicine and I’ve been hypnotized twice which only worked for a short while.
THIS.
Yes!!
IKR.. I’ve had it pointed out to me many times and it makes me not want to spend time with the people who feel the need to say stuff to me.. I’ve actually culled “friends” for saying things
@@crystalallen8294my youngest son (17) pulls his hair and has a bald spot on his head. I have already told him I am concerned...what more can I do to help him? I want to take him to a therapist but will this backfire?
Thank you for covering this! Skin picker/biter, here. It’s embarrassing, gross, inhibiting, but very challenging to stop.
I have learned that when I eat sugar the urges is much more so I pay attention to sugar now - plus if I find myself triggered and want to play with my hair- taking a shower even if it's in the middle of the day I found shift my energy focus and attention .
@livefromyoبم نفعك الاستحمام؟؟urheart
My trich is weird because I’m obsessed with the hair root, and how to connects to nerves and sits inside the skin. The biological structure of the follicle absolutely fascinates me in a way I can’tdescribe. I feel like the pain from pulling is fascinating and I love ripping the nerves out and find it euphoric.
Not weird...i have to examine the root too...and yes the pain from various places too.
Ooh someone I can ask* about the weird!
Do you find that some roots are normal white (usually better attached) and some are black (usually effortless to remove)? And sometimes when I pull a black one out there's actually liquid 'hair' that comes out too. Especially if I squeeze the area.
Also some hairs have this sheath around the part that was inside the skin....
I could go on
@@Merip1214I have this specific place in my scalp where the hair comes out really easily (with a black root ) and I love pulling form that place like there’s a huge bald spot there, but I can’t stop😢 I’m gonna try some tricks to stop
@@Merip1214I know you posted this a while ago but I just had so say that you described all of these experiences perfectly! Also, looking for the ones out of place like the white/blonde ones or the ones that are darker. And yessss to the “liquid hair” those are like gold lol. It’s so crazy that these things seem so weird but when I saw your post it helps to take some of the shame away. Thanks for being vulnerable and I wish you the best!
Hairs with the gooey white and black root are in the Anagen or growing stage
Never forget my 8th grade teacher telling me to stop picking at my split ends and called me gross out loud in the front of the class. I have skin picked, picked split ends, cuticles, and pulled thick hairs since adolescence. I now have an autistic son. Have always wondered what my own neurodivergenceies are. Thank you for these tips!
In 2nd grade, my teacher physically grabbed my hand to stop me twirling my hair when I went to ask her a question
@@nikkireigns So sorry. that's mean.
I stated at age 7 w eyelashes for a brief time before a hairdresser commented on it and made me feel bad so it stopped and then at age 9 started skin picking. Have been doing since then. And then in the 90’s when thin eyebrows were thin and neat looking I stated pulling eyebrows. Until my mom got cancer then took eyebrows completely off. It’s been 20 years and still No eyebrows
Had a great family life no trauma until mom and dad died and moving away from Alabama to Missouri which was horrible for me.
I’m 50. And still pick skin and pull hair. Yes loss and stress boredom do make symptoms increase.
I wish that everyone that suffers from these would find help, rest, and peace. God Bless You All.
Thanks to everyone sharing in the comments. I went thru more than a decade of intense pain (losing my family), and I absolutely loved the focus and relief from squeezing something out of my skin or pulling a hair. Thankfully, I'm a huge believer in creativity, so when I get the urge, my eyes light up with "There's a hundred creative things I can do instead!" And you have the freedom to choose what! For me, it could even be to watch a video of Emma's or Jonathan Decker's, which I really enjoy cos they're such lovely kind people. Another is kissing my arms for the soft feeling.
And if I see myself clenching teeth, then stick my tongue out and curl it in all sorts of different funky ways. Life nowadays is so varied, there is always something beautifully creative to do. Treat yourself (and others too) with a warm heart always cos it's the kind thing to do, especially bighearted when you don't immediately feel like it.
Thank you for bringing light on this subject. I know someone very close to me who struggles with this daily since childhood. Lots of shame and social isolation because of it. You are helping a lot of people , there is not much information about treatment available.
Thank you for bringing awareness on this topic. I've been struggling with picking at my skin/scalp since I was in highschool and it started with picking at my acne. It has been incredibly difficult trying to break this habit since it ties back to early childhood traumas and anxiety. My goal is to break this unhealthy way of coping by the new year. It is really validating knowing other people are going though something similar.
I'm glad you mentioned the connection to deep-seated human grooming behaviors. I'm convinced that my skin picking is related to that - to a fault in the wiring for hygiene.
I also have keratosis pilaris, and that's what I pick at. I don't pick at skin that doesn't have a keratin bump...I'm just going to find a real bump where others might just see skin. And the thought process is - that bump does NOT belong in my skin, it HAS to come out. And there's real relief and satisfaction when I do get it out. I've also developed hair on my chin, and I pluck those out with the same background thought.
While I also twirl my hair, I don't pull it out or even use tension. It is not hygiene-related, instead it's more of a stress-soothing behavior, as the hair is very smooth, like the silky edge of a blanket, and constantly running my fingers over that silkiness is soothing. I find myself constantly braiding it as well, if I have both hands free.
I chewed my nails as a child - couldn't quit, until it just faded away in college, probably because I had more to keep my hands busy, and occasionally wore press-on nails, which don't have the same satisfaction in chewing - there's no roughness that I just HAVE to eliminate. But...that's when the OCD behavior switched to picking at the keratin bumps on my arms instead.
I wonder if it really is straight-up hygiene-related...only, our bodies can feel the stress, and we HAVE to get that stress out, because it's poisoning us, so we attack the bits that we can see and feel, that "don't belong". Because prehistorically, if you had something on or in your body that didn't belong, it could really make you sick, or even kill you, so you needed to get it out/off. We are feeling the effects of a "sickness", but this is the only tool our subconscious knows how to use.
Truly, though, I don't pick at things that aren't there. When my skin has less bumps, there's less picking. I always feel that if I could treat the bumps permanently, the picking problem would largely solve itself.
Have you tried a kp body wash? That might help
Feel the SAME WAY about the bumps. I've noticed my KP on my arms (and thighs) goes away when I travel sometimes (I think the hard water impacts it).
At home, I love DermaDoctor's "KP Duty" lotion and First Aid Beauty's KP scrub (or Kopari's scrub). To lessen some of the redness from picking, I also like to use retinol lotion on my arms and thighs.
Don't know if you already have a product routine that you enjoy, but figured I'd share and would like to hear yours
Of course the skincare products don't make it go away entirely (as I know it's genetic), but they've helped my bumps a lot.
@@gracefruit__ I've never wanted to spend the money on the special scrubs, etc. I've heard of the KP Doctor stuff, but haven't tried it. I have used things like Amlactin, or the Cerave lotion for bumps - I haven't noticed that they do all that much, and I find it hard to keep a routine with that stuff. I don't have much of a beauty routine to start with - don't really wear makeup, etc, so the "routine" of anything like that just gets in my way, more than anything.
Also, they keep saying that the bumps are caused by "dryness", but I haven't found that to be the case - if anything, my skin is extra moist/soft when I have a particular "breakout". I feel like the teeny tiny hairs are unable to break through the soft skin surface, so they get embedded, and the extra skin cells/sebum/whatever that would normally make their way out via the hair shaft just get trapped as well. Whenever I squeeze the bumps, the material is usually quite soft and "moisturized", for lack of a better term. There's nothing "dry" about the bumps, or the surrounding skin.
The only bumps that ARE more often weirdly dry and crumbly, vs. the soft and moist ones, are the ones I get on the tops of my fingers or the backs of my hands. And my hands aren't usually particularly dry in general, but the inner bump material is definitely a hard plug (but can still be pressed out in a thin line through the pore).
I guess I just don't see how lotion is going to help, when dryness isn't the problem for most of these bumps. There's definitely something systemic about them, because my last breakout, I had a bunch all over - many new, large, soft ones on my arms, more of the tiny ones on my legs, and a bunch cropped up on my torso as well. I've also been getting them on my forearms a lot more than I ever used to. When I get them on my hands, I will often get "matching" ones in the same place on the other hand. I've noticed that on my face, too - often matching ones on each side. That definitely points to a systemic cause, not just "dryness". I feel they reach for that explanation because they don't know what causes it, and no one's really looking for it, and it's easy to blame the person for "dry skin". We love to blame people for their health issues, especially women.
I relate to this so much. I don't have KP but I have a lot of clogged pores on my legs and I need to release what's inside of them. There are large portions of my skin that have none of those little white plugs, and I leave that skin alone. I feel the same: if I could find a way to get rid of the clogged bumps, or the weak hair follicles, or whatever it is, I probably wouldn't be popping them.
Hi Emma! Thank you so much for this video🙏I would love if you did a more in depth video about skin picking. I've been suffering from this for so long and always thought I was insane. It feels really good to know I'm not the only one. I feel so much less crazy. Would you consider doing a video more about trauma and/or family history that may be the cause of this? I know so many people would benefit from that. I just want to have more of an understanding of all this because I never hear people talking about it. Also possibly going into more detail on how people can change this behavior. With all of my heart, thank you Emma. You are a wonderful and I appreciate all of your help!❤
Definitely not the only one
I have doing skin picking since I was a kid and I want you to know you're not alone! I wish I could stop but I really don't know if I can be helped. You're so right, no one talks about it! I understand!!!
This information is about all of us. I did a quick calculation & 82% of those who commented, pick their skin, I'm one of you, too. As a therapist myself, I've tried every treatment I could find, none have worked for me. At age 60, I actually retired early, even though I'm quite poor, as I just couldn't take the embarrassment any longer. I wish that I had a magic cure that would help all of us, but I don't. In my mind, a peer support group would be helpful for some of us. I have no idea how to get that off the ground. If you have any ideas, please share with us. Thanks for reading this. MaryAnne
I have worn gloves much of the day in the winter and that has helped short term. I pick at the dry skin around my cuticles. I really think if that skin would not get so dry, I wouldn't pick. I use stuff to soften the skin.
EFT, tapping technique to get rid of shame and relieve anxiety, can be helpful...
I have been pick free for about 18 months and then, about a month ago it started again. I had to examine what in my life had changed and realized that many toxic people around me had caused me to engage in self hate again. So I chose to get rid of the toxic people and make myself my number 1. When I'd got to look in a mirror to pick I'd put the mirror away or leave the room. In the past I started slower and chose to not pick a single area of my face. And as that area healed I realized how I could make the area larger and felt so much better seeing more and more healthy skin. Nothing worthwhile is easy but tiny steps can lead to big results!... oh, and REWARD yourself!
Groups are available. I found 4 with a online search. [Every time I try to reply with more info, my comment gets deleted]
Your therapy colleagues will have access to this: I had a psychedelic experience to help cure me from trichotillomania. It was the only thing that worked for me after Decades of suffering. Something worth considering. I wish you the best.
I skin pick and hair pull and I’m 31, started when I was 3, there is a vhs tape of me doing it. I also learned two years ago I’m autistic. Thanks for bringing light to this, it is something I’m still embarrassed about
howd you get a doctor to take you seriouslt in regard to the autism? im in my late 30s and never had a diagnosis but might be nice to have one.
I've done skin picking since I was a child, myself. I think of it as a stim.
@@hotfudgecake I don’t know where you are at in the world but I had to pay a specific person to test me doing a neuropsychiatric evaluation.
التوحد ظهر عليك مؤخرا؟؟؟
i was skin picking this whole video lol
When I was in grad school and under tremendous stress (the vyvanse didn't help I'm sure), I would run my finger through my hair and pick at anything until a scab formed. I had so many scabs, one hairdresser commented like "what IS this?!?" And completely embarrassed me. I never went to the same hairdresser twice after that because I was so ashamed. Im 42 now and still pick, but will calm it down if I know an appointment is coming up. It's such an awful coping mechanism for CPTSD.
Before I watch this video, I'm so glad and thankful to have this counseling video available.
I've been a skin picker since I was small I had a great childhood not much trauma other than my parents divorcing. Im 35 and still pick its embarrassing
Im 38 and pulled eyelashes since I was 12. I think my mom and stepdads divorce also triggered the pulling
37, same exact story here. I hate it.
I agree I got it and I'm 61
Parents divorcing is pretty rough for a child. Traumatic even, depending. Plus, divorce means that all was not well in the house for at least some portion of your childhood. Even if you didn't know about their problems directly, kids sense these things and it can make them feel less secure than they need. So it would make sense you might have been affected, even if it wasn't overtly bad. I hope you find healing for this.
@@rainbowconnected you're right. Even though it wasn't a bad divorce it left me feeling sorry for splitting my time wither away from my dad or awY from my mom. I think I do hold on to this trauma even though I am only now seeing it. Thank you
This was very informative. I have moved from sucking my fingers, to nail biting and now to skin picking. It has been an experience filled with shame and a feeling of ugliness. I keep purchasing products for my skin but I know this is only addressing the scarring but with the habit, the scars will return. I can relate to picking at my skin with the aim of perfect skin and also skin picking during certain activities. Thanks for sharing this information.
Omg thank you so much for bringing this subject up. I once read that "anger is discharged from the body through the teeth and the nails" so people who skin pick or nail bite are probably the people who were shamed to express their anger in childhood so they no longer can express their anger in a healthy way. I resonate with this so much.
This subject doesnt get its deserved attention. i used to search this because i needed information. But there was none.
Also i love your excited tone when talking about something you are passionate about. Even though it is a bad/disgusting thing to talk about, your tone gives me hope that there is a better way to live 😊
By the way, the man at 2:43 looks soooo much like Melih Ekener (a turkish actor) 😂
I grew up in the 50s and 60s and pulled my hair. I was constantly yelled at and belittled and told to stop, but the urge was so strong. As an adult I overcame it, but still sometimes just scratch my scalp. The skin picking started as an adult, and like you said it's a perfection thing for me, I don't like the feeling of a scab or bump on my skin, only on my hands and arms. Even though I use an antibiotic on my skin, I have had a few serious infections. But this is small in comparison to my battles with depression and anxiety. As a senior citizen, I'm just tired of dealing with it, nothing seems to help and I have no family for support. Sometimes it's hard to hold onto hope.
❤
I adore that you consult with other SMEs. My data brain is hella happy. Thank you!
Oh man, my picking has recently gotten quite a bit worse and I was just wondering to myself "when does it become clinically significant?"
And then I heard the thing about increasing tension before pulling a hair with relief after, and little rituals after pulling a hair
(I will unconsciously tap the end of the follicle against my fingertip, because the hairs I feel compelled to pluck are the especially coarse and bristly ones, so I'm kinda testing to see if it was coarse enough I guess?),
and was like "oh that describes me perfectly." So I guess it's always been a clinically relevant part of my OCD! Good to know.
This disorder destroyed me, my head and beard even have blank spots now where the hair doesn't grow back anymore. Struggling with this daily.
❤
It brings you a kind of relief. Nothing wrong with that! I accept it as part of me now but I've also done a lot of energy work to release trauma. Find connection and let it enter my body.
Excoriation Disorder/Dermatillomania/Chromic Skin Picking patient here. I'm 20, almost 21, and have been doing this obsessively and a LOT since about 10. Childhood trauma, a pre-existing skin condition, and a diagnosis of OCD probably contributed. It's hard to explain to people so I just cover my skin.
I sometimes let an itch sit without scratching it to try to train my mind to get used to discomfort and not immediately give in to every urge. It really, really sucks lol I dunno if I'm getting any better at just observing such urges but I figure at least it's sending my brain the message that even if I give in it won't be immediately so chill out
I’ve been a lip picker and nail biter since I was a teenager. I’d wished I had bigger lips, so my brain somehow thought that picking at the edges and forcing them to heal would make them grow bigger (obviously it doesn’t work that way, and it just made my lips look worse).
I’m 30 now and am still both a nail biter and a lip picker. Nails are my main thing, but every once in a while I decide I no longer want ugly nails, so I’ll paint them black and it keeps me from biting them. But then I switch over to lip picking and biting. I’m at that stage of the cycle currently. It’s hard to stop, because it stems from a need for perfection of texture. I pick at the skin that isn’t smooth, but that just makes it worse and I keep picking the healing/textured bits.
Recently bought an embroidery kit, so maybe if I sit and work on that instead of my hands having nothing to do while watching tv, it’ll help.
I hope that having busy hands helps. I have been a skin picker in the past, and it undoubtedly related to sadness or trauma. I sometimes relapse but don't want to go back there. I have recently been knitting again, and I find knitting (nothing too tricky!) and sewing is great for relaxing and taking away worries for an hour or two. Enjoy your embroidery.
I second this, since my picking is almost always when my hands aren't busy, like TV. Sometimes driving if I'm really stressed.
I understand what you're saying very well. What happens if you leave the skin and then parts of it get lumpy? Mustn't you trim those lumps? Will the lumps just keep growing? How will the skin ever smooth itself if you don't do smooth it? I get it!
Unironically, everything started itching the moment I watched this vid.
God, I hate itching skin. I cant stand it.
These behaviors can also be Autistic Stimming.
yes, and as long as there are no dangerous consequences like blood infections - go for it
I have trich. My mental health team isn’t too worried about it because I pluck hairs in places they’re typically (socially) not supposed to be: legs and eyebrows. But it bothers me because it’s so time consuming and I didn’t engage in the behavior before my traumatic event. I feel like knowing the cause would help me overcome it. I’ve tried NACs and I’m taking an SSRI and neither help with my trich.
Emma, thanks so much for shedding light on this. I've pulled out my eyebrows (and occasionally hairs from other parts of my body) since my mid teens, and I'm now 46. It started as a way to self soothe and took hold from there. It comes in cycles with me - I can go for a few weeks barely thinking about it, then it'll start very slowly creeping back in until I'm pulling regularly. I'll look out for inositol. It is a fascinating subject. Thank you again.
Trich tormented me from 14 years old to 37. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I had a few years of remission but in general, I struggled with it almost the entire time, more than twice, cutting off all my hair to a pixie cut to prevent me from pulling on my scalp. Younger than 10, I started skin picking so that was a precursor.
The ONLY thing to cure this, and I mean a full cure, was a therapeutic psychedelic experience with psilocybin. It isn't a magic pill by any means, but it worked for me and my life has changed tremendously.
Like Magic mushroom?
Inositol at 1800mg (powder) stopped the desire to scratch/bite/pick for me. It took away the stress relief component so that I was able to recognize what triggered it - an itch (only need to scratch it once, not turn into a scratching session) or dry skin (oh, I just need to moisturize), or it's oil and I need to wash my face. My nails grew long & strong without me picking at them.
I couldn't afford inositol for a few months, and the scratching/picking came back. Inositol takes a few weeks to fully work, but I am already seeing improvement within one week. It also helps with my social anxiety/leaving the house.
thank you so much for sharing your experience!
I'm 50 years old and have been struggling with this my entire life.
شفيت؟؟؟
NAC or N-Acetylceistine is the supplement that helps my son. I give him up to 1200mg in the morning and 1200mg in the evening. He was doing hair pulling so i had to shave his head all the time and skin picking he was wearing gloves to cover up. Now he is all good.
That’s what I take
Same dose
So so happy he’s in a better place now.
Amen.
@@memorydandaroy1618
Glad to know it works for you too. I tried tapering to off but 2 weeks later after the last dose the hair pulling and skin picking started again. So I put him back on it and so far so good.
Take care of your self and thank you for your reply.
It also helps against infections I believe
Wonderful to hear !
I have to admit I was skin picking during this video. I have done it since I was a child. I am now almost 56.
Me too :(
Honestly, listening to this video made me really want to pull out my eyebrows. I've mostly resisted
Oh wow, I felt SO seen! Thank for this!
I have been a skin picker for decades. I have gone as long as 2 weeks mostly resisting the urge. And then I went right back to it.
I don’t just pick my own skin, but other’s skin, too if they allow it. Sunburns were painful, but all that lovely flaking skin was the reward.
There is definitely the aspect of perfectionism in the cycle, as well as the shame and fear that you are permanently marring your skin.
And having a nagger bring it to my attention is simply annoying.
I have used my own form of aversion therapy by using a DMSO spray that hurts like the dickens on open wounds. Still I pick.
I thought this was a relatively recent occurrence, but memories are surfacing that this has consistently been my response to my anxiety pretty much my whole life.
I'm 50 and picked my skin since adolescence. I used to cover spots with band-aids. Recently I cover my finger tips with band-aids. I cannot have them on 100% of the time but still useful.
I grew in an unhealthy household with emotional immature parents. I have been skin picking since I was about 5 or 6 years old. I started nail biting when I was around 8. In middle school I pulled at the ends of my hair for a little while. Something that I have noticed is that I didn't start nail biting and hair pulling until I heard people saying not to bite your nails and that hair pulling is gross or weird. I didn't like it when my parents would tell me not to pick at my skin. Both because their comments weren't helpful and because I liked doing it. To this day I still pick at my skin and bite my nails. I feel like if leave this house and heal from my trauma that I will feel safer and not bite or pick as much anymore.
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31 here, been skin picking for as long as I can remember. Definitely good to see it being talked about
sitting in front of the mirror is so real, I used to do this after coming home from school to soothe myself, I'd sit infront of my parent's bathroom mirror for hours. I also tend to do it habitually and will pick my skin on my fingers or fidget with little facial hairs often causing myself to bleed. It's frustrating, so many times I'll be out in public and notice my fingers burn and are bleeding
I started with nail biting before I had adult teeth. Broke that habit around age 10, but shifted to lip biting and picking. I don't like pain, so I worked to break that habit. I thought I had succeeded, but when I'm dehydrated and my lips get a little cracked, I'm right back to it.
I also was unaware that I had shifted from focused to absent-minded lip biting. I'm mortified when I see candid photos of myself chomping away on my lower lip!
While I was trying to stop my early lip biting, I developed my earliest symptoms of psoriatic arthritis, including a flaky scalp. I would spend hours in front of the mirror, trying to remove all of the flaky crap from my head. I've never managed to kick this one, except when I'm in remission and my scalp clears up. I'm in my fifties and still spending hours a day picking at my scalp, especially while driving and watching tv. It's sometimes out of control and I'll even do it in front of other people.
My issues are very much tied to ADHD. I'm a hyper-focuser, and I drive everyone around me crazy with my need to fidget. The picking is a form of fidgeting, and there's nothing more satisfying than finding a clump of uneven skin to dislodge if I have to sit still for five minutes.
When my firstborn developed cradle cap, I had to keep a hat on her so I wouldn't spend all day picking at HER head.
The worst thing about these habits is the same reason they often begin: you can't just put your body in a cabinet and lock it away from yourself. Lip biting is particularly convenient since they are literally next to your teeth!
I can't stand the feeling of hang nails, dry skin, or scabs. If it's not smooth, I will pick. I also regularly pull on my brows and lashes, not severely, just removing any loose hairs. I am constantly pulling, brushing, braiding, twirling my hair. I only recently learned that this is not just a "bad habit", that it is more to do with my mental health.
So, I am both a skin- and hair- picker, both focused and habitual. No trauma (at least nothing very serious) but suspected autism and ADHD. A lot of people in the comments here are talking about the shame, and I know I have spent a lot of time dressing to cover up whatever region of my body I’ve decimated… but I like to pop pores and ingrown hairs. More than just being relaxing, it’s like you’ve cleaned it out. I even like watching other people’s pores getting extracted, since my own skin is rarely satisfying. Is that weird?
Love ASMR. Could be stimming too. For me my skin annoys me
When I was 12, I used to pull out all my eyelashes to where they’d be totally bald on the top. It stopped when I moved in with my dad when I was 13.
I was also dealing with Erotomania towards one of my classmates until I moved with my dad.
Once I lived with my dad’s house, both disorders just went away within a week or two.
But I was dealing with them both for about a year.
I was dealing with a very controlling situation before then.
So, I always suspected that my eyelash pulling came from a desire for control over my own life. But since I didn’t have any control, I would pull my eyelashes out because it was something I could control.
But it is kind of like an obsessive grooming thing based in bodily shame. I was always trying to cleanse and groom myself back then and before and after to get rid of imperfections. And I look back and see that it was a manifestation of my shame.
But the eyelash pulling was only during that year.
I’d feel through my eyelashes to sense if there was a thicker or longer strand. And then I’d flick my thumb on it until it was isolated from the rest of the lashes. Then, I’d pull it out and feel the pop. Then, I’d rub the follicle on my lips because the lips are sensitive enough that I could physically verify that I had pulled it out.
It wasn’t enough to pull it out and see that I pulled it out. I had to rub it on my lips to get the full articulation of the sensory experience with maximum sensitivity that no other part of my body was capable of.
I remember thinking I was crazy back then and feeling so ashamed. Most people didn’t notice my eyelashes gone. But once a few girls confronted me about it with questions, and I didn’t know what to say.
That was a stressful time in my life.
I’m 55 years old and have a terrible Skin Picking Disorder and this video is very helpful, thank you. I’ve caused many infections on my skin, including MRSA requiring antibiotics. I try to hide my skin (mostly my face) behind makeup but it doesn’t help much and the wounds are still apparent. I look like a meth addict. I tried to talk to a Psychiatrist about it once, here in Australia. His advice? Just stop doing it! 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️😧. Feels like there isn’t anyone who really understands this horrible disorder or can help 😢
At least he didn't say, "G'die, mite"...!
Seriously tho, I empathise because I love picking squeezing skin and pulling hairs to have that focus and anxiety-relief. I don't think anyone (or even you) should judge you, as that only makes things worse. What I'm grateful for is that I'm a huge believer in creativity. So, as I feel myself getting the urge, my eyes light up with "There's a hundred creative things I can do instead!" And you have the freedom to choose what! For me, it could even be to watch a video of Emma's or Jonathan Decker's, which I really enjoy cos they're such lovely kind people. Another is kissing my arms for the soft feeling.
And if I see myself clenching teeth, then stick my tongue out and curl it in all sorts of different ways. Life is so varied, there is always something creative to do. And no worries, mate, if you're not perfect about it - the journey out can still be a joy. Joking about Aussies (after all the sledging they've done in cricket) also fun for some of us tho we admire down-to-earth Aussie vibe. You're a very good-looking 55 and keep constantly holding yourself with love cos it's the kind thing to do.
I'm 53, and I'm just like you. I've had a MRSA infection twice from picking pimples on my face. I also try to pack makeup on my face to cover the sores and scars, but you can still see it all. I hate to even go out in public now because I feel like everyone can see the sores. They probably wonder what disease I have on my face....
Thank you so much for talking about this. I've been struggling with trich for about 10 years now and have been a skin picker my whole life as well. I've tried to find solutions on my own with mixed success. The difficult part is most times by the time I catch myself I have bean pulling/picking for several minutes, its THAT unconscious.
This video was perfectly timed! I've been a skin picker my entire life, but it's gotten worse in recent years (especially right when I was officially diagnosed with OCD last year). I've been trying to work with a therapist and a dermatologist to get it under control, and this video provided a lot of insight and ideas on what more I can do to help break the cycle! Thank you so much!
My 28-year-old son started picking his hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes in junior high, I took him to our old school doctor who had inherited the practice from her doctor father. She said "You don't know you are doing it. Your mom will gently tell you, "You need to do some push-ups right now," so do them when she tells you to. You have energy built up in your body that needs to be released when you pick." Luckily we homeschooled- so we followed her advice- and he stopped picking within a few months. He has never started up again. Strangely, he married a gal who has a severe hair-pulling issue.
I agree, it feels like a lot of built up energy and tension that needs to be released.
I spent my childhood watching my mother skin picking. She used tweezers, eye glass screwdrivers and also kitchen knives to go after skin. She had an open site that grew in size in her breast from size of a dime to the size of two half dollars. It only healed when she had a stroke and couldn’t pick. She very quickly learned how to pick with her left hand. Doctor and family would confront and she saw nothing wrong with er behavior. “Leave me alone! I’m not hurting you!” She is now in a facility and the skin picking is causing skin infections. Please for those who has this, work on helping yourself and dont let it get this bad
😢
That is so tragic and must be awful for you. I think it's very rare that it would get so extreme.
I'm a skin picker. I have plenty of scars. I've even done it in my sleep sometimes.
Yes I have done this too
Interesting… My teen years I picked.. somewhere toward end of high school and college I stopped or I slowed down. Maybe all the teen angst.. but it would be like a trance almost self hypnotizing ..my skin changed as well.. I think I was so busy in college , I didn’t have time.. My son picked.. but not like he was in a trance.. Good luck.. I hope you find your way out of this addictive cycle. 🙌🏻
I finally feel understood and not alone. Thank you.
I guarantee 100% that most of these cases are from not being breastfed just like when a dog is weaned too early and scratches and bites and licks their whole life compulsively
I've been using my socks to stop picking, I've cut holes for my thumbs only to be out. To be honest it doesn't really work. But it does a little. My hands and nails are a state and are so painful. Hate it. Can't stop no matter what. It's a cruch. I grind my teeth all night because my jaw is tense all day from chewing nails and skin 😢
I suffered from trichotillomania for about 20 years. Abilify has been a saving grace❤️
abilify helped me for a little while too! Unfortunately I started gaining weight which caused some lowered self-esteem so I ended up deciding to try other medications
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كنت تعاني من القلق الشديد؟
Thank you Emma! I’ve spent 30+ years fighting and managing skin picking. I tried NAC several times because I heard of the benefits and it gave me outrageously vivid nightmares every time! I will try the inositol. I’m also looking into somatic therapy. I am so grateful for your videos and podcasts and presence in the world. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and kindness with us all! ❤
NAC gave me crushing migranes. Sorry it didn't work for you either.
Thank you for making this. I have had this for over 20 years now, and for me, it is definitely related to difficulties in childhood. It started with picking my face but moved to my body (mostly areas with hair). It has improved over time, but I still do it very regularly at night, in order to relax before bed; especially if I am very wired up or agitated after the day. I usually sleep well after a long picking session, but I do have scars that I am very distressed by. I'm working on my mental and physical health, and this give me hope 🙏
My ex-husband would often tell me how gross he thought it was that I picked at my skin, which just made it worse. I realized recently, though, that giving myself permission to do it and making a conscious decision to not feel ashamed about it has made it much better. I still pick, but seldom to the point where I bleed, which is a win for me 😊
Thank you for covering this. Been struggling with Trich for over 20 years.
I have dealt with trich for 17 years on/off. It got worse after my mom committed suicide on 9/7/23. My emotions are so much right now and it hurts so bad. I’m in grief therapy right now and it’s working but at times the grief is unbearable.
I am so sorry you have to feel that kind of pain.
I’m so sorry
Thanks for sharing this info. Super important and is more common than we think. ❤
Whenever i am anxious, always with my damn chin hairs, thanks Emma.
I have trichotillomania. I've been hair-pulling for about 30 years now since it started in my early teens after a traumatic childhood. It's mainly habitual and I really enjoy searching for the unusual hairs and either pulling them out or running my nails down them (or both). When it first started I pulled so much that I had a bald parting but, luckily, over the years I have manged to find a way of doing it that doesn't create bald patches. I also pull hair from other parts of my body. For me it is such a soothing and relieving feeling. It does increase when I am anxious, but I am aware of it enough that I don't do it (much) in public. I didn't realise until fairly recently that it was a type of OCD but, to be honest, I don't know if I want to stop.
I had a bald spot in 6th grade. I used to pull my hair out back then. My parents were going thru a divorce at the time. I think that set it off for me. Rough times. I used to pull the follicle off. I was obsessed. Thankfully I stopped one day.
I have had acne for 17 years and through all these years I've been picking on my skin, definitely it's about perfectionism as I do it only in places that have whiteheads, blackheads, uneven skin and bumps, I always find something to pick on. I also excessively pull out the hairs on my chin, above upper lip and eyebrows, pull on the dry skin on my lips and around nails, constantly push back my nail cuticles and try to file my nails into perfect shape. I do all of the above pretty much on a daily basis and end up losing few hours per day on it (like 3-4h !!!). This video certainly shed some light on it for me and the comments are really helpful too, it's good to know there are people out there with similar problems. Hopefully we all manage to get a little better =)
I developed this when I was 12, because pulling hair is so soothing at some point, I even had some bald spots and people are making fun of me. But, I just can't stop. Tho, I have balanced myself now. But I still do it unconsciously until these days, I am now 34
Skin picking kind of runs in our family. What a heritage!
I'm interested to know how many people have both behaviours. I've been hair twirling since age 3, where my hand got stuck in my hair and Mum and Dad had to help me haha. But yeah ever since I've been a hair puller and skin picker. Probably not to disorder levels, but definitely to the point of people commenting and having to cover up with makeup. Sigh. It's 100% anxiety related, I've run the entire gambit of anxiety disorders across my lifetime thus far. My sister has done so too, although to my knowledge a much lesser extent.
I think my skin picking is due to being extra sensitive to the physical discomfort caused by an itchy skin bump, a healing lesion, a loose piece of skin, etc. I may be autistic, so that could be a reason f the extra sensitivity.
My son with asd has severe anxiety and I feel like these two go hand in hand. .. he is 14 now. He has started pulling out a bald spot on his head in the front.... when he's having anxiety and he has no idea he's done it. He came home from school one day with a very obvious bald spot. I asked him what happened. It literally was not there when I took him to school that morning and that adenovirus he had a bald spot lol. He didn't believe me. When we got home I had him look in the mirror abs he sure enough saw it.... he is embarrassed by it. But he doesn't more he's doing it when he's doing it. I did start him on therapy for his anxiety and medication for the anxiety and adhd....
Just wanted to say, I'm super happy I found your channel, and I'm super happy that you're still uploading, although I found you very recently, even just watching one of your videos has diminished over-bearing paranoia, I'm happy to see you are still making this content actively and that you look happy doing it, and I just wanted to leave this comment here to let you know, even if you don't see it, I think letting it out into the universe will please me, please keep doing what you are doing.
I've had Trichotillomania since I was 10 years old (44 now). I've learned how to manage it, for the most part.
Can you please share some tips and tricks that have helped you manage it? And also about how far they have helped you do so
L Reuteri yogurt culture can cure this in dogs, what about humans? I guarantee that this has something to do with not being breastfed and having a bad microbiome in your gut. I gave L Reuteri to my dog and he stopped scratching and biting.
I just gave myself a skin infection on my chest from picking… I have scars on my face from spots I picked and dug into my skin so deep… what am I doing to myself
I believe it comes from generations of people that was not breastfed
My dog does this constant biting thing and it comes from being weaned too early
My dog and I pick and scratch together lol
Cuticle mutilator here. Idk why i do it, i just feel compelled to. It hurts and it looks bad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
That's an interesting point - that it's comforting becasue it's related to grooming. It makes me wonder if people who do it didn't receive enough physical touch growing up. I pick at my skin and I definitely didn't get very much loving physical touch from anyone growing up - no hugs, no comforting hands on the shoulder, nothing like that.
i was about 5 and i started picking the hair out ofmy right eyebrow and both sides of my head by the ear. it was a lot worse on my right side. it was because my mom and two sisters had lice and i thought i did. i actually only realized i never had lice until i was like 19 when i talked to my mom about it. the funny thing about it is i didn’t really feel shame, i had a giant bald spot on the right side of my head and i just thought it was normal because i was trying to get rid of the lice. eventually my parents shaved my whole head and let me buzz some of it because it was all coming off anyway. my mom took a picture of me when i was buzzing my head and i looked so happy because i thought it was cool i guess, and i instantly drew a blue arrow on my head to look like aang from the last air bender. i decided i wanted to be fully bald instead of just buzzed so a few days later i took my moms razer in the shower and started shaving the top of my head, my parents saw it and they shaved me the rest of the way. it’s weird to look back on. it was the beginning of a lifetime of anxiety
Ive bit my nails for as long as I can remember. This year I dedicated myself to breaking the compulsion, it’s definitely still a struggle. Carrying a nail clipper and file on me at all times has made it possible. It’s 100% perfectionism that causes this problem for me
I and my bald eyebrows thank you
What I've found helps me with my skin picking is to take pictures on really bad days and really good days. Then I can motivate myself not to pick by looking at the bad days and aiming to look like the good days
I am a lip picker and some sort of play-with-my-hair habitually person. This video and the comments here are super insightful. I realised while watching this that some of my close people have some other such habits 😮. And I should really stop mine 😢 but it is so hard. I managed for some time this year to stop the hair picking, but now I started doing it again 💔 🤦♀️
I started when I went through puberty. It’s a struggle and I’m on the bus.
I obsessively twirl my hair pretty much all the time my hands aren’t busy. And when they are busy, I bite my lip instead. My therapist’s response: “leave your hair alone”. All the HRT stuff you listed (have found it before) is laughable to me since I do it all the time. I realise that just twirling your hair isn’t really a visual/ health problem like trich etc can be, but it makes me look ridiculous, family members sometimes shame me for it, and I zone out when I do it (it helps me zone out which is apparently what my brain needs). If I resist the urge, tension becomes really hard to bear, like my nerves are sore or something.
I skin pick when I feel unloved and unsafe. I have been watching myself for these behaviors as this has caused me many infections and is a health worry for me. Unfortunately, whenever I skin pick, I feel this incresing thrill in my body and when I pull it out a quick relief. I have lived my childhood with emotional, verbal and sexual abuse, and have just been trying to heal for the last 2 years. That quick relief from pain is always associated to my desire to be rid of my abuse and abusers since I have no power to do so before.
Thank you for this video, it’s given me some things to think about. I have had some success in the past with cutting back on nail biting and skin picking, but it always seems like I get a new habit to compensate. For nail biting one thing that helped was painting my nails, as the change in texture distracted me. The thing that helped with picking at my face was I made it a challenge that every time I had the urge I would put lotion on instead. Currently I pick at my scalp, so those tricks don’t work, but I’ll try some of the suggestions in the video.
I just finished reading a book about both disorders called: Every trich in the book. Thank god I don't have either of them, but I got this book from my mother, when I was suffering from TSW. I would recommend the book to anyone. ❤
I have twirled and played with my hair since childhood, including combing my hair with my fingers. I switched from combing with my fingers, to brushing my hair at home. As I grew older, I would cut my hair short, so I wouldt hand comb my hair or feel like I needed to brush my hair more often than most people. I notice I temd to comb my hair kore during stressful, traumatic events, or cptd flashbacks or triggers, or when I get diregulated.....
I manage chronic pain due to a genetic autoimmune disease and am Immunocompromised. I doscovered this year, my MIL has been talking behind my back since 2016, and still continues to cast doubt beehind my back, but says she "understands" my health, how dhe "respects" my boundaries, yet her actions and what she says as well as what some of the (enabling) in-laws day, it doesnt feel like they respect my boundaries, or care about my health. I feel more of the peer pressure to act like covid isnt a big deal, and that I am taking my (mental and physical) health too seriously...... 😓😑😒
My husband noticed since around 2016, I started combing my hair with my hands in my sleep..... i have been able to not play with my hair while I am awake, and now I have a mohawk, and less hair..... But in my sleep, I still comb my hair with my hands. Luckily, since my mohawk is only about 6 inches long, I dont wake up with gobs of hair in or around my bed in the morning, or gobs of hair stuck between my fingers. Other lucky thing, I have a thick head of hair, and haven't pulled out hair to cause bald spots, which is a bonus... i guess....
*Childabuse survivor, abused by narcistic and bipolar stepdad....
Wow! As a girl, from I’d say 3-10, I would pull my eyelashes out. I had no clue why I was doing it, but I’ve always had extreme anxiety and I think it was my coping mechanism. Unfortunately, I also did this with biting my cheeks too. By the time I was 12 I had overcome these, but my worse secret is that at 24 I still can’t stop picking my skin! Specifically my back. I’m so embarrassed, and the scarring is insane. I need to take control of this and mindfully stop it when I notice I’m doing it!
Thank you for unlocking an action I’ve been doing subconsciously for my whole life!
I had this for years. And I sucked my thumb at the same time. But I had to stop because I couldn't cover my bald spots and I developed calluses on my thumb. I grew up in a very tense family environment. If I hadn't had to stop, I probably wouldn't have.
I had no idea it was this serious and so many people have it- glad i did my research
pulling my hair as I'm watching this... I do both (picking and pulling) , can you make more videos on this subject?
Thank you for this. I'm a skin picker and have recently gotten infections from several spots. I also know several people who have this so I'm passing your video on. Thank you for all you do.
I have skin bumps and can't stop picking at them. I've tried so much and it isn't even urges, just absent minded keeping my hands busy and seeking out bumps when my hands aren't doing anything
Thanks for this video. I am always pulling at my hair and have been looking for ways to stop this. Thanks for sharing potential solutions to this.
NAC helped a little bit, but I couldn't afford the cost of a decent dose or to continue even at the low dose I was taking. I imagine if I could up the dose and take it regularly, it may help. Unfortunately it's not covered by insurance
I want to learn the therapies from a recognized institute online. What would you suggest ? I am a first year clinical psychologist in India.
I had really long pretty hair and I keep cutting it. I’m down to 1 inch of hair. I’ve lost and eye brow from plucking. Today I started thinking I’m so close to crossing over. I know I’m not harming myself yet. But started thinking about it today. Which led me here. Does that make sense!? I keep ruining my hair from cutting it
I dont just pull a random hair out, I have to find the hair that "doesn't fit". I have naturally pretty straight hair, so when I touch my hair, I look for one strand that is different, if its a little curly, I kinda feel like it doesn't belong and I have to remove it. And its so satisfying to remove it. And to touch that one hair after, feel the "ruggedness", and wanting to find more...
So when you said its about grooming and removing irritants.. maybe that's kinda it.