Thankyou everyone so much for watching, this one was difficult to write, but im glad I got to share it with you. As always here are the lyrics and the link to stream found.ee/ren-suic-de Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've fallen through the cracks of the night sky A light goes out on the other side, suicide, suicide, suidice Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm treading on the tracks in the night time It never really felt like the right time suicide, suicide, suicide I'm so fucking lonely beneath this, narcisistic, cant keep a secret, miscount sheep, I can't sleep, a misfit Some say troubled, but some say sadistic, Bruises my brother, one time or the other, my skin felt counterfeit, silicone, rubber Bruises my sister, skin pop the blister dig deep resist the feeling when it hits you Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've fallen through the cracks of the night sky A light goes out on the other side, suicide, suicide, suidice Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm treding on the tracks in the night time It never really felt like the right time suicide, suicide, suicide [sample] Sick boi, sick boi, bitten by a tick boi I feel like its not me its the world thats sick I'm so fucking washed up and sea sick masochistic kid with a split lip six feet deep I can't eat im nervous won't stay down 'cause my body purges useless my mother, cant keep in my supper skin so pale 'cause my cheeks leak colour Truth is my father, you choose your karma draw for the sword then drive through the armour Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've fallen through the cracks of the night sky A light goes out on the other side, suicide, suicide, suidice Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm treding on the tracks in the night time It never really felt like the right time suicide, suicide, suicide Suicide suicide suicide Suicide suicide suicide Suicide suicide suicide Suicide suicide suicide It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut, Your stomach burns when you're drinking from an empty cup, You know the entire ocean came from my tear ducts? I see the world through fibonacci sequences and Double Dutch I guess there’s some that’s born lucky, there’s some that’s not I tried to cut away my bitterness - hatchet job I locked my youth in a trunk inside a pick up truck Then dumped the whole thing over the same bridge the night you jumped I think about that sometimes , vividly What it felt like to look down and see tranquility One sudden movement in a world of possibility Only one movement to expose our fragility I fucking miss you and I miss myself I miss thinking that were indestructible as well I miss chilling by the pier cave and kicking back Wirth Callum, Hugo, Sagar, Justin, Stevie and the fuckin lads I miss missing that, I numbed myself to close the gap, I never even call em up the distance is my plaster cast, The truth is that the day you jumped my childhood jumped too, But I still can’t find the anger all I find is missing you Man I miss you, with all my rhymes I picture running 5 minutes quicker, I'm right on time I picture pulling you back over the edge and then were crying And holding you my brother and telling you that it's fine that’s not the way that I worked Coz I was late like a jerk There's not a day where I could find a way to break from the hurt Your body missing so we never got to wave to the hearse I hope your listening , I love you man, I miss you absurd Fuck
Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised. Turn on notifications for the video here: ua-cam.com/video/n3JNtfi4Vb0/v-deo.html Raising money for RNLI : www.justgiving.com/page/ren-gill-1685546882254?Link&/ren-gill-1685546882254& Freckled Angels album: renmakesmerch.com/products/freckled-angels-cd Presave Suic*de: found.ee/ren-suic-de
I’m sorry you had to go through this Ren, i cannot even begin to imagine what that pain must feel like, and my heart goes out to anyone who has been through similar situations or if anyone feels like your friend Joe did i hope they get help & know they are loved 😔 sending you big hugs, i just know this song is going to touch so many hearts. We all are with you RIP Joe 🕊️❤️🌹 x
it's a very sad and real life story Ren, thank you for being able to open up and transform pain and suffering into beautiful songs that can really support strangers who find them, this is a real gift
I lost my son to suicide 5 years ago. I have been considering my own for those 5 years due to this and my own battle with chronic pain. I found your music last week, Ren, and it saved me. You saved me. SOMEONE knows how I feel!
I’m very sorry you lost your son, it’s tragic, I can’t even imagine! Chronic pain sucks royally, but you stood for the fight, and now here we are knowing you and please know you are loved! We don’t have to know one another, it’s the positive energy that feeds us and we gain the strength to hold on. I lost three cousins to MD, it was insane living knowing when you will die. I miss them often and reminded of the words they left behind. There’s so much I can say and share but all I want you to know is someone out here is going to need you one day and like you found Ren, they will find you and you too would have saved a life. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️
Hey, im reallly sorry for this situation and hope you can realise that there are lots of people tha feel the same way as you lots of love and hope everyone thats reading this can see some light at the end of the tunnel
My son took his life and mine has been a walking hell ever since. He was only a child at 16. Many many times I've thought about the only way I could see him again. It's hard in a way that you pray no one else should go through. I'm sorry for your loss.
Brother…I haven’t cried since late 2006, after I hit my last roadside bomb in Iraq, and was flown to Washington DC, for a year of ineffective mental treatment. I haven’t cried in 16 years…unable, or unwilling. I listen to your music constantly while I’m out drinking, after once being 20 months sober. As a writer myself, every time I hear one of your songs, I understand them a little bit more… A couple weeks ago when I stopped a medication, my emotions came back…now…I can’t listen to you without crying. I want you to know, you give people like myself permission to feel, to be pissed off, and accept whom we are. As human beings, or artists, and students of navigating our own minds. You are truly loved and appreciated, brother…empathy doesn’t make us weak…it reminds us that what we do for ourselves, we do for others. 🤙🏻
This was so beautiful to read. I feel like Ren was put on this earth to share his pain in order to help heal people. I'm so sorry to hear what you've gone through, but I'm glad that coming of the meds and connecting with your higher self is finally helping. Know that you are loved and supported, and by sharing your story, you too are helping others. It's always ok to be vulnerable. Take good care of you ❤
Joshua, I served on Walter Reed’s Ward 57 in 2006. I was a tall blond in a white consult jacket. Perhaps we met. You are my brother and I pray for each of us. Years later I suffered a multi-trauma and I walk the walk. My mottos changed from, “One can do more…” to “Courageous suffering begets fierce joy.” You and I are loved and admired more than we can ever know. I pray for your peace, and that joy.
Joshua, thank you for your service, Your comment really resonates with me because I am a Veteran's Benefits Case Manager at one of the top 3 Veterans Benefits Law Firm in the country. We do everything we can for people such as yourself who gave it all. Thank you. If there is anything you think I could possibly do for YOU let me know. You already fought for my freedom, it would be the least I could do.
I tried to take my life once, when everything seemed like it was as bad as it was going to get. But my dad happened to walk in on me and stopped me. Then he just sat there and cried while holding me and saying sorry over and over and over. I'd never seen my dad cry. Not really. That really opened my eyes. I've never really gotten better. Life has gotten easier, because I got my freedom back and have been able to actually do things. But my depression still remains and I think about trying again often. But I always remember that night and I think about my older brother, whom I'm closer to than anyone else. Of my father who loves me and confided in me after I had moved away. Of my mom who's never done me any wrong. My grandparent's who have always been there for me. My friends. I've lost people in my life before, an aunt in a car accident, a classmate in her senior year of high school in an off-roading roll over accident, and those all hurt. But if I were to not be here anymore, that would be far closer to home and more personal for the people in my life. I just found this song today, and it captures that perfectly. Even though I haven't truly seen the other side, I was metaphorically the one on the bridge. I'm still struggling with my parasitic emotions and battling everyday to rationalize them, but I will continue to press on. If not for myself, for those around me. The ones I love. I hope everyone can find a way to move past these dark places, if not, I hope you find the light to keep you company.
During a month-long camping trip in the summer of ‘97 I found my friend hanging in a tree when I woke up one morning. To this day I have never shared my thoughts or feelings of that morning with anyone. I’ve carried this baggage for decades, not knowing what to do with it. I appreciate you, Ren. You are able to express feelings that I haven’t been able to articulate all these years. Cathartic. Thanku. ❤️🩹🫶🏼
Gosh I cannot even imagine having to go through something like that. I’m so sorry you’ve carried that pain with you for so long. I hope that you can work through that trauma and see the good memories you had with your friend before that day 💓
Here's hoping you continue to explore more on UA-cam. I'm not far behind you in age and was convinced that modern music was generic and stale. Artists like Ren prove me wrong. But what's also obvious with him is that he has a deep respect for music from the past. I take it you can't possible have missed seeing Chinchilla?
"It never really felt like the right time." I've never seen a single sentence so perfectly describe suicidal thoughts. Constant, always there, always on your mind, but just... not quite yet. I'm just going to finish this book. I want to know what happens in the next season of that show. I can't leave the house this much of a mess, I'll do a deep clean first. There's always a reason it's not quite the right time yet. Until the moment it is. And when you feel this way, every second of your life is spent finding things that make it not the right time yet. I've never heard anyone make music that understood me like Ren does. I'm mentally ill, severely depressed, and I have an autoimmune disorder. He reaches out to us and says, "You're not alone in this." Some nights moments like that are the only reason it isn't the right time. I hope he knows that. I hope you know, Ren, you're saving lives with your music.
Your comment makes a lot of sense to me. I heard somewhere throughout life, someone say "I'll do it when I finish a bottle of shampoo and conditioner at the same time." It never happens. I hope it never does for the person or wherever I heard it.
Hi Ren. I’m a 55yo Veteran who suffers from PTSD,Major chronic depression,Bipolar disorder plus many physical issues. I cannot explain how much your music resonates in me. THANK YOU. Never give up your truth,you are helping people in ways that you and I cannot imagine . I pray for your strength to carry on in this disjointed world and for your happiness and success. Again THANK YOU. I lost 7 brothers in a single year from 4 different wars a while back I wish they had had the opportunity to hear this,maybe some of them would still be around. To all my veteran brothers and sisters out there never,give up I can tell you from my own personal struggles and attempts that there is hope and light on the other side I’ve seen and lived it. I love and pray for you all no matter where you served or who with . One foot in front of the other and NEVER give up,it’s what we do.
Kind words from someone who is experiencing what you have gone through, 1st thank you for your service, 2nd keeping an open mind look into micro-dosing magic mushrooms, there seems to be a lot of great potential in helping with depression. Lots of info on you tube, try to find one you trust
One of the more enjoyable tangential effects of Ren Fandom is that, if you accidentally get really obsessive, you get to know Joe a little bit along the way. Thanks, ren.
Perfectly said. Was actually thinking something like that the other day... You put my thoughts into words beautifully. And I'm grateful you posted each word. :)
My friend jumped off the big bridge by Edinburgh, his body was missing for months, it was the worst thing. God im so sorry. Your songs are so god awfully painful but i am glad you've made them. I wish you all the care and heart warmth in the world
My exact thoughts! Not interested in these type songs but his way with words are masterfull ,world & life topics could only come from someone goin through or been through it makes me want to & not live his life which is a weird juxtaposition as normal subcontious would have stans wanting 110% to be in their "idols " place, for an artist so young he's found a look on the world I've not long embraced at 40 & fk me I've lived a few lives 😂, mad respect!!
sometimes it’s too much to keep it in and with that, he will continue to help those that are afraid to reach out. we are witnessing a big push in the movement that’s long overdue. 🫶 Thanks Ren, your vulnerability is inspiring further than you know. You understand marketing and how to get into peoples souls of all ages, job well done and you deserve to find your own inner happiness.
Simply outstanding (again!). I'm 69 years old and I've never seen or heard anyone as authentic as Ren. We are witnessing the emergence of a very special talent 👏👏👏
Hans Christian Anderson wrote. "Where words fail, music speaks." Ren, your music doesn't speak, it SHOUTS. Never stop shouting, Ren and we will never stop screaming for you..... RESPECT.
Something I've been saying since the 90s... "Music is how one can express that which cannot be put into words." Guess we're on the same page. True no matter how it's phrased.
Oh Ren, as someone who considered taking the decision to ‘stop’ and who is now working as a mental health nurse, your ability to articulate the pain and emotion of depression and su!c!de just blows me away, every single time. What a beautifully artistic soul you have. That was absolutely breathtaking 💔
45 years ago I drove my car off a bridge. Last week I contemplated an overdose the difference between now and then; I know the feeling will pass. Keep writing Ren, it's needed.
I am glad that you're still here. I hope you'll feel better soon. I hope you know how strong you are and how much the world is better off with you in it.
Much love & strength to you. I hope you find joy & adventures in the future that make your life richer. I’ve recently grappled with wanting to give up since my partner drowned in late January. He too battled suicidal ideation & depression for many years. It seems he drowned accidentally but we’ll never really know. He had said to me before he wanted the sea to take him away.
This song was released on what would've been my son Elijah's 24th birthday. He took his own life on September 24, 2021. Ren your music touches me, moves me. Your honesty helps me heal. So thankful that you exist.....
As a nurse i know people want to say dont talk about this but its a good sign when someone opens up about their thoughts about this. Ren thank you for this video and song. There's nothing wrong with feeling and opening up to let others know they can talk. I want them to talk before its too late. Thank you Ren
from one nurse to another, thank you for all you do! spending your life in the service of others is the most rewarding feeling, but it is also very difficult~ difficult physically, difficult emotionally, difficult mentally, etc… much love to all the nurse out there!
@@treeblesI absolutely agree. My mom works in the medical field as well (I'm not sure what exactly she does) but I have always had respect for medical profesionals and other people that help them in some way as they have to endure so much pain from what they whitness yet stay strong to keep helping others. It takes alot of bravery and mental strength to be able to stay strong in such situations as such I will always respect doctors, nurses, etc.
Tomorrow is the six year anniversary of losing my 20 year old child in similar circumstances. Time does not heal, it accommodates. Beautiful song Ren. Thank you.
My 13 year old son died 12 years ago,of natural causes. And yes,you are so right.....Some things time does NOT heal. Losing a child is one of those things. I'm so sorry for your loss,and I hope that you've found a way to live with the grief and still find happiness.......❤
I don’t often comment but wanted to say thank you for helping my husband finally release the pain of losing his friend of 50+ years the same way and realising he is not alone in the way he feels. You have a very unique talent.
I have been struggling with dark thoughts for a long time and last night I found myself scared, alone in the woods, it has never got this bad before. In the UK, the video has a link to “the Samaritans”, a charity there for those who need some emotional support. I clicked the link and spoke to a lovely lady for half an hour. Then the police came and helped direct me to more support and crisis centre. Last night. This song saved my life. Thank you Ren. Thank you so much.xx
From the daughter of a victim of mental illness, I promise that the ppl you think won't miss you, will. I promise their hurt will never heal. And I promise they're glad- and I'm glad you're still here.
I lost my son to suicide 7 months ago and grieving has been life changing .Thank you for this song as my son suffered from mental illness and this song is a tiny glimpse into the torture he endured. I only wish he had heard your music before he ended his life .
Anyone listening to this, just know no matter what anyone says, there is only one you in this world, you couldn't be more unique and more special! One of a kind! ❤
Hi Ren…I’m sorry you lost your friend. I lost my son. He would’ve loved your music! Thank you for writing such a beautiful song. You will save lives with your art ❤
I genuinely feel that ren saved my life. I lost my dad to suicide last year. After he died I struggled with some suicidal thoughts and I feel like I heard this song at the perfect time. To hear that someone understood my pain, it made me feel so much better and feel like I was no longer alone! Thank you ren
To say I think you are one of the realist and most interesting artists I've listened to in an age is a massive understatement. In a world of filters, egos, PR agents and bullshit, you are truly a breath of fresh air, Ren. 🥰
Well, I'm fucking wrecked. The emotion you poured into this is beautiful. I hope making it helped you heal just a little more. You've got an army behind you now and we appreciate you more than you will ever know. 🖤🖤
Loneliness and self critism are my companions throughout my journey of whatever this life is. Suicidal thoughts give me company often i try to drown them out but i am so depressed its almost deafining
Hi jmac, I've just seen your comment and had to say that you are not alone, there are many people in this world that feel as you do. We can be our own worst critic and our dark depression leads us to negative thoughts and feelings which lead to even more sorrow and negativity. However, there are people in this world that care about you, even if they are strangers. They're only strangers until you talk to them so please reach out and talk to them. I sincerely wish you a brighter future xx❤❤xx
When I was 18, I lost my 16yo sister to suicide. It's been almost 9 years and it still hurts. She was my best friend and I miss her every day and want her by my side. What a strong song this is, Ren. Thank you for such beautiful, relatable words. My sincere condolences.
My 24year old bright, beautiful, talented nephew ended his life last week. The devastation, heart ache and pain have decimated the family. Hundreds of people are affected. Keep speaking out about mental health. Thank you for this.
I'm so sorry shit sucks. My family dosesnt wanna admit my dad killed himself he did.. I'm sending hugs and tears 😢 I understand you're love ones being ripped from you like that is Insane 😢
I'm sorry for your loss. Stories like this are why I'm still here - I can't do this to my family and friends. There's a lot of days I resented them for this, life (and death) would be so much easier in a vacuum, without someone loving and missing you. Spent so much time figuring out how to make it look like an accident, to make sure nobody blamed themselves for missing it. If I slipped one of those nights up on a ledge I'd probably be where your nephew is now, but I'm not and I'll try to make the best of it. Our brain can be the worst enemy, turn the whole world to gray and twist everything good into something terrible. I'm sorry your nephew lost that fight, there's nothing to say that makes it okay but I hope you'll have the support and time to cope with this the best you can.
Ren, I am a 52 year old schizophrenic. There are things that I would love to share and say to you but I am terrified of the internet so I will just say this; When I was in my teens (before meds and therapy) I had decided to take my own life. One young man in one of my classes, not a boy I knew personally, figured it out and patiently but determined would not let me go home until I promised that I wouldn't. After several hours of me dodging the truth and denying his accusations I finally, just to get rid of him, I bitterly swore to him that I would never take my own life. I kept my promise. Several years later he died of cancer and I often think of him knowing that because of him, I still draw breath to this day. Every time I smile, laugh, celebrate my birthday I think of him and quietly in my heart dedicate it all to him. You are so profoundly brave to me. I see his fire and passion to help in you. I relate to so much of your work and I find it inspiring and validating. I just want to say that from one human being to another, I see you, I feel it all too, I love you like a brother, and thank you for seflessly giving so deeply of yourself so brazenly to the masses to reach ones like me. 💞
Life always has an interesting way of turning around, for good or bad, it is what molds us, and keeps us as we should be. Glad you are still here, dont leave us until its time
Thank you for sharing. Sending my warmest love to you in this cold world. I feel like we’ve all got each other here - Ren is amazing love his music and lyrics a true inspiration to us all x
Came down from apartment to donate to a busker today, as I heard her performing ‘How to be me’ we both evangelised to a passer by about REN’s awesomeness! So I bought her a pint as well. 😂
Wow, Ren! This is unbelievable! You are elevating pain on another level, mate. Thinking about the amount of shit life has put you through and you go out there and turn yourself inside out for everyone to see. What a masterpiece you’ve created again! Those emotions, the rawness, the lyrics, the bloody visuals,… oh my god! And like in “Hi Ren” just when we think we made it through to the end you take us to the cleaners. I’m sitting here crying me eyes out. Feeling so sad for you suffering that much pain and at the same time being blown away by the beautiful art you keep blessing us with. One day, when you feel the time is right, the stage will be yours, Ren and you will be descending on the Glastonburys of this world like a shining light and the crowds will be there to open their hearts and souls for you like you open yours for us right now. Or they might switch on the fuckin’ TV and watch you on Netflix for that matter… can’t wait either way. Keep going bro!
Holy shit man. Every time you release something its like you share a part of yourself with the world. Not some surface level drivel like a lot of artists, but something that people can connect to. I have nothing else to say than thank you for this and everything you decide to share. Your music is art portrayed in sound.
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Dear Ren, As a 57-year-old gentleman grappling with chronic pain for over a decade, there was a period when my hope dwindled and all I perceived was an engulfing darkness. I even considered choosing the seemingly easy way out. However, everything shifted upon discovering your music. While the physical discomfort remains an everyday companion, my perspective on life has undergone a significant transformation. I feel an immense sense of gratitude towards you, not just for the solace I find in your songs, but also for the resilience you demonstrate in your personal life. You are an inspiration, and your strength echoes in each melody. Thank you for being a beacon of hope. With deepest admiration, Börje
I found my brother hanging from the rafters at our shop. I see this image every time I close my eyes. This song really helped me! RIP my brother D-Dog David Wegener 🙏
It was in 2018 so I've handled the shock of seeing it. I still can't get the vision of him in that position out of my head when I close my eyes. The only good thing that come out of this is that he didn't have to experience the fall of humanity over a shot and how people were divided, and then the entire world gets locked down. He left the world not knowing that everything we were told growing up was a huge lie.
Thank you Ren, everytime you create one of these honest vunerable songs , I see it reverberate through the male population around me. Ren is the sound of healing, Ren is the sound of talking it through, Ren is the sound of trusting that there is kindness on the other side of our words . I hope you get the help you offer the rest of the world. ❤
I knew this was coming after you spoke out about it on Knox's channel. Man this is going to be some deep sh1t I can tell. We appreciate you so much mate, and I have lost a friend to suicide, as so many others have as well. You are going to touch so many lives with this one. ❤❤❤❤❤❤🙏🙏💯💯. I hope you continue to heal and grow as a person and artist, and that the ones who we have lost, stay with us as a reminder that we are all human, none of us are perfect, and we can all learn something from each other ❤❤❤❤
I’m still in recovery from a su!ic!de attempt in February. I was sectioned and am now in a much better place. Things really can get better but i didn’t believe it when I was in that headspace. It’s truly a disease. I’ve struggled with thoughts like that since I was 17. I’m 25 now. Thank you for this song Ren. If I hadn’t lived I wouldn’t have gotten to hear it ❤️ I try to look for the little things like that now. There’s so much to experience and learn and see. Thank you for making all of us feel less alone and seen. Thank you for sharing your art with the world. It’s a much better place with you in it. Condolences for your friend. I hope he found peace. 😓
Dear Jiji, you are worth hapiness, you are loved by all the strangers from all over the world who react to your honoust reaction..... please accept my warm hug for you❤❤❤
It's very rare a song gets to me like this song, having lost friends to suicide and have attempted it myself in the past, having gotten through some bad times and surviving every day is a blessing. As a 53 year old male who struggles with mental health issues I say thank you for your music it's a great help and has inspired me to continue. THANK YOU 💙☮️🎼
Dude I literally don’t understand how you never miss for me. With every other artist I have obvious favorites and others I don’t vibe to. But, me personally, ya just never miss. Also, aside from the music, the artistry of this video is amazing. I’d watch an entire series in this style.
I am in the same boat. I haven't seen an artwork or song from Ren that did not speak to me in one way or another. He just does not publish misses. That makes it even stranger that he was discovered just now, and not years ago. The art he created with The Great Push is amazing too. (I know some of their busking videos went kind of viral too, but what we are experiencing now is different.) What Ren does with this newfound influence is admirable and amazing. It is a very fine line and balancing act to gain popularity and not get corrupted by it but use it for the greater good. Ren seems to be a masterful tightrope walker too.
Same for me. I have bought all his music and have it all in one playlist. Just put it on random play and it’s the only thing I’ve listened to for months.
It's not just that this song is beautiful and shattering in its own right, but we all actually love Ren. Not like, "Oh, I love that band," We Love Ren like family or a long time friend. The song touches us even more because we care so much about the person singing it.
Thank you for stating this truth perfectly!! 😍 I completely agree with what you said! Both my Hubby and myself care deeply about Ren the human being & want so damn much for Ren to experience the long, healthy, happy & fulfilled future he's been dreaming of & fighting so very hard to achieve one day! My Soulmate & I are both RENegades for life!! 💙🙃 Have an awesome weekend, sweetie!
Watching Ren on his Twitch is amazing, as he is able to make it feel like we are all there hanging out chattin' with him! I don't know how he does it, but it's top notch! 👏
Ren, I hope you can realize and appreciate how many more faceless "Joes" you were right on time for to help talk them down from their own ledge with your music, your words. The work you do and the messages you provide are necessary and so very appreciated. I've never been more moved by an artist in my life.
My 16 yr daughter has been suicidal for past 4 years. I haven't been able to really reach her , I've used anger, talking, coaching, and begging. I showed her this today we cried. This showed her there's 2 sides to suicide the person we loose & the person they loved in us that would go with them. Thank you Ren for being so vulnerable & valuable at the same time.
Man. My friend jumped too. I'm sorry, Ren. It doesn't get easier, but I do feel seen, hearing this. Thank you for sharing this, and I hope knowing you've touched so many people helps you, even just a little.
Yo, Ren is straight up hitting me in the feels with his song "Su!cIde"! This dude came out of nowhere and straight-up tore my life into pieces with his words. Every damn lyric and melody sends chills down my spine. I've even made it a priority to practice his songs to ease my mental stress. Ren's lyrics are like a punch in the gut, man. He captures that feeling of being lost and lonely so damn well. It's like he's speaking directly to my soul. His words resonate deep within, making me realize I'm not alone in my struggles. He ain't afraid to delve into the darkness and expose his vulnerabilities. He's not some fake-ass artist trying to hide behind a mask. Nah, he bares it all, unapologetically. And that's what makes him so damn authentic. If you're reading this, know that your music is a lifeline for so many of us. You've created something special, something that speaks to our inner demons. Keep doing what you're doing, man. We need more artists like you who aren't afraid to confront the raw, messy parts of life. So, here's to Ren, the master of expressing our darkest thoughts and emotions through his music. You're a true inspiration, bro. Can't wait to see what else you've got in store for us. Much love, respect, and appreciation! 🙌🖤
My nephew died of suicide about one week after I last got close to it. I got help. He didn't let anyone know. This was a few weeks ago. This is the only time I will mention it. The family keeps silent. Self destruction runs in our family. I learned how to transform suicidal feelings by letting go of things instead of myself. I am still letting go, to make sure the urge does not come back during this very dark time. I keep finding purpose in my life to keep from doing this thing to myself. You help me so much with this task. When I heard a few days ago that you were planning to release this song I was relieved. We are the kind who walk through the fire and out the other side. We talk about it. My nephew couldn't do that. Let's keep talking. It helps.
20k in under and hour!!! impressive Ren! i have no words just yet as I'm still in a puddle of tears on the floor!! healing from grief is life changing and profound when you allow the pain to take you down in order to rebuild! losing someone so important alters the landscape indefinitely and the only thing time changes, is how long and how often we get swept away in our grief. thank you for another real, vulnerable, beautiful, honest, raw and incredibly important message! this is why you speak to so many souls!!! this community is a result of your pain, loss, honest take on your thoughts and experiences. I am someone you saved though your music!! because in the 1st time in my life, I make sense to me. we don't often get the opportunity to witness how far the ripple effect goes! you are a light in a very dark time for many people. you go by many names also, some people know you as hope!!! rest in peace Joe. Thank you, Ren! you and your whole crew!! @bigpush @chinchilla @dirtmiller and the countless reactions. just a little insight from a 57 year old lady who hasn't been excited about music in 20 years❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥✌
Stay strong. I’m terminally ill without a heart transplant. And now I no longer to pray to die….but to live. I’m so confused and lost. Things will get better for u. Hold tight. Much love from Kentucky, Lesley and medical Service Dog Jake.
@@guardiansanimalrescuestate7289 God be with you! You are in my prayers!! Sounds like Ren had brought a couple of old broads some peace. I'm sorry for what you're dealing with and wish you more good days than crappy ones!! Peace be with you ❤️❤️
First let's give it up to whomever created the graphics that make up the video. Such a unique way showing the movements in stills over a moving person. Secondly the chorus had me singing this all freaking day. A light goes out on the otherside, su!cide su!cide su!cide....Ren youre such a master of words and music. Thanks for your gift.
You done Joe proud with this one my friend. 😢By being this vulnerable you’ve give a voice to and told the story of millions of us who have lost someone to or attempted suicide. Thank you ❤
I was actually a little surprised that that wasn't what was mentioned in his comment about the 'inspiration'(for lack of a better word) for this song, I love that he is such a transparent human being that seems to bring kindness, love and empathy out of other human beings. But when I listened to this the first time, I was an ass 'assuming' that was what this song was about. I guess I was wrong, I'm sure it resonates today, regardless. I am Sure, as with many of his songs, we all take it where we need it, we all have a different journey, but we all feel the same feelings. As we are human beings. 🥹 Much Love. 💚🦋🎶
I lost my girlfriend to suicide 4yrs ago, completely fucked up my life. Brought me to suicide, brought me to addictions to numb the emptiness. I pray those who are experiencing the same thing, same thoughts, same feelings, reach out. I love you, we can get through this ❤️
Hey bro. Lost my wife 2 and a half years ago. In the thick of it still it feels. You ever want anyone to talk to, save my info. What happened happened, but we're still here and I love you man
After reading the whole story and processing it a little bit, I am once again awe-struck and taken aback by it. Sad because of the fact that joe died that day and you had to went through all of this without ever saying goodbye to him, even after death, because the body was never found. At the same time awe-struck because of your ability to tell this tale in that manner and your fantastic idea with the charity and gift. Grabbed the CD bundle today and hope this money will also be of help where it is needed. Thank you so very much for being you ren, we appreciate you more than words can ever say. I love you.
I believe he did and does. I wish I could have listened to this song with my son. I found this song today. It hit me so hard. My son was gone eight years ago. I don't know about your situation, but I hope you enjoy every moment of your life with your loved ones.
My sons first experience of suicide was when their 16 year old cousin took his own life. In a 2 year period we were connected to 6 other men who also chose that path; my eldest son's best mate, at 23, an uncle... the list goes on... thank you for talking about it and I look forward to hearing your words in this song. Words are so important. Stay strong.
Thank you - I helped open a boxing club and we lost 2 young lads there during Covid and a female friend during that time too. The threat of suicide is real - We have become almost desensitised to it now, which is really sad.
“He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment.” 💔 That’s a great photo of you both - and I hope everyone donates in anyway they are able. Take good care thank you for sharing Joe’s story. For creating and sharing. For choosing to be here now. 💛
Inless it's a place u pay to go in, unfortunately u after be admitted by an hospital after a serious attempt on your life "which is very fucked up" for them to even consider admitting u, have been sectioned twice now and both times a was in pinderfields hospital in A&E locked in a room for about 20 hour until their was a free bed b4 they would take mi to a fieldhead mental ward in Wakefield
That is def one major issue that should b repaird yesterday w only one judge that I Kno of(in FL EEUUAA) that is tryin 2 do so. I'm almost pretty sure he was wrkg inoutof Miami at the time but that was practically a decade ago. Can relate. Many many levels. Tytyty keep up keeping up
I tried to check myself in once in the boston area and then hours later they told me if i wasn’t trying to kill myself i couldn’t stay. I wasn’t. And that was $1500 later
I'm a 46 year old male and this is the first song that's made me cry that isn't directly associated with a moment in my own life. Between 'Hi Ren" and this I've never encountered an artist that hits me in the soul so hard.
Yep 46 too. And this guy is next level. Never been so excited to watch an artist grow, he is groundbreaking & his music will be talked about in generations to come.
54 in a week and same here. Ren has lived a lifetime already it send and somehow has the gift and talent and puts in the hard work to translate his thoughts and emotions into relatable music. What a guy. Greetings from the Netherlands.
Exactly the same - I love 90s grunge, 70s disco, 00 nu-metal , and more , but Ren's art/music/story telling resonates at such base a level. What an incredible talent , first artist in probably 30 years , actually maybe all my years, that has made me stop , think , listen and just be awe struck.
I lost my twin brother when we were 18. Car accident. Not a suicide, but I was very ill at the time. I mean, well into my 3rd month of hospitalization(of 7). So I was allowed out on a 24 hour pass, that we had to get special dispensation for. I had to go back early the next day. So I wasn’t there to wave or sing him out, like my community did. And I’m grateful for all those people who were there. For me and for my family, but it doesn’t change the fact that he and I hadn’t talked or seen each other in over a month. And I can’t forget, or forgive myself, for that. So, though our situations are different, Ren. They have their deep similarities. So your music makes me cry, it makes me feel heard. I feel grateful that there’s an artist out there that I know would understand my…troubles. So thank you for writing and singing what I can’t. If you ever need a math teacher, I’m here! Lol
Incredibly powerful. I am so glad you added the end, and spoke about Joe again. And that so much good will come from this. Not just for the Anglesey RNLI, but all the people who will find this and know they aren't alone and need to stay. Your pain is enormous, but you are using the force of it as it crashes through you to save others. Joe's legacy echoes in all that you do. He is in every line, every melody, and every mountain you sing to.
Lost my son to suicide 7 years ago - when I first heard Hi Ren it resonated on so many levels for male mental health. Thank you for your courage in bringing this crisis to the front of our minds and confronting the epidemic that is so taboo in our society. ❤ love and strength to you Ren! You are a legend!
The day this comes out is my birthday and I've been living with cripling depression and anxiety for 4yrs, right now I'm low but I know I can be the man I was again. I too had a friend like Joe, last year he jumped of a cliff even though he hated heights and nobody knows why he did. We all have our bad times and need someone to listen, we need to look out for our loved ones and try to be the hand they need for support. I am so glad I found you Ren as your music has helped ground me when I'm start to slip, thankyou for being a beautiful person.
Johny, things do get better, you will feel light and cheerful again one day, I promise. I’ve been through it and am living proof that things do come right again and life can feel light and joyful in the way it used to once feel. Hold onto that HOPE. Please find and invest in a great psychotherapist or Jungian psycho analyst that you connect with and has the same values as you. They can really, really be transformational, if they’re good and in tune with you. For now listen to The Blindboy podcasts mental health and psychology podcasts. They are pure gold, helped me ALOT!!! You will get through this. You will! 100% possible. You woudn’t be here on this earth if you weren’t meant to be, remember that. Eventually life will show you why, it will come. With time and reflection you will find more and more tools and tidbits that bring you more peace and joy as you soften into accepting yourself and seeing you’re strengths and value. You just have to be strong and get though this challenging time, you will be so wise once you make it through. I kind of like to think of these conditions as a very loud wake up call, maybe it’s your soul telling you to look inward and work though and release layers of trauma/ un healthy core beliefs…to find and live in alignment your authentic self. Or it’s something or many things in your environment that needs to change, so that you a living a life that aligns with your values. Also please watch ‘Stutz’ on Netflix - really cool mental health doco, lots of amazing mental tools nuggets of gold. Disclaimer, I’m not a psychologist - I’m just speaking from my single personal experience. Ps. Even psychologists/ doctors reccomend their patients to listen to the blindboy podcast!! Just search for his mental heath or psychology podcasts. You’ve got this! You have value, you many not see it now, and you may feel those terrible crippling feelings all the time, but with the right help and knowledge and reflection and tools things will come right again, you will feel peace, joy and sunny again. ❤
There’s a whole world of us pulling for you, my friend. I’m so glad that you are here and sharing music, time, and your story with us. Thanks for being awesome you❤️
Having thoughts like this makes you feel like a hologram that no one can really see properly. Like no space anywhere is the right space and it makes you feel so alone. Your music has made me feel seen, even if it's from a distance. Thank you ❤️
For me personally this is one of your most brilliant songs that I can relate to. I found my partner of over 12 years hanging in the garden shed less than 2 years ago. He, like you was a musical genius who has written, recorded and produced loads of great music. I know I'll see him again in the Afterlife. Thanks for your amazing music! 🎶🎤🎶🖤
James, that's awful. I'm so sorry. A man I looked up to as a teen hung himself the night after telling a group of us about all the bad stuff he'd been through but how he had finally found hope. I've never been able to make sense of it, but by grace I wasn't the one to find him. I hope you're doing okay.
You speak words that so many of us cannot. Your words can soothe, hurt, bring us down and take us high. You are a true storyteller, a true artist, a true human being. Your words and music are what so many people find comfort and solace in. I say Thank you Ren. Peace and Love from Australia
Only way to heal is to fight through the pain. This is your way of fighting. Thank you for sharing Joe's story - we will all say his name and he won't be forgotten
Wow, "It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut".... That is deep... my son died by suicide in 2014, Ren, Thank You for voicing the pain that occurs after having someone die by suicide. I am constantly awaiting your new songs to be posted!! Love your work!! Thank You!!
I lost my father to suicide almost 25 years ago. I almost got to him in time but was too late. You words encapsulate perfectly that anger, guilt and sadness. Thank you for making this song, it is needed.
My dad did the same thing totally resonate with this feeling happened 13 years ago. Your not alone and the only way we can get thru this is by knowing Jesus Christ is real and we never die. I know we will see our dads again Matt that's how I was able to move forward. You live your best life & help others especially the people dealing with the same problem you already faced. Thank you Ren for writing this song it helps all of us. My cousin also committed suicide in 2021 it's more common than you would think,. So we have to pray to stay strong during these hard times for us and other people. God bless you all
This is my first time listening to Ren and the end absolutely broke me. This line "but I still can't find the anger all I find is missing you" made me sob. Never before I've heard someone putting into words that feeling
This was the hardest one yet. I lost my mom, then my little brother and sister to suicide in the years following. It’s been hard to be the only one left, but people like you really give us all hope and support with your words. Thank you, Ren.
I can't imagine having to deal with such a disaster as that but hold tight ]God has something amazing for you I pray you will seek him much love and respect to you for holding on and not giving up friend! Please read this verse in the bible Jeremiah 29:11-14
Sending you massive and eternal love. I've lost one family member to suicide and can, but at the same time can't begin to fathom the depths of your loss or the grief you must overcome daily. Love you
Young artist, I am a middle-aged woman from Canada. I have lost so many friends to drugs and suicide. My days are ghosts. This captured it perfectly. Thank you.
I have spent the last couple of months thankfully disappearing down the REN rabbit hole. I am 59 years old and over the course of the past 4+ decades, I have been exposed to many brilliant recording artists... I can honestly say, NO artist has ever touched me more, inspired me more and ultimately impressed me more than REN!! Your musical and lyrical abilities are up there with the very best of them... BUT what sets you apart in my opinion, is your willingness to strip your soul naked in front of us and expose us to every raw emotion you felt in the creation of each masterpiece song. You are the catalyst that helps us rediscover our own emotional literacy. You are the musical & lyrical bard of our times. Please never change!
You've put into words, such eloquent words, exactly what I'm feeling as I reflect on my first listen to this latest work. At 62, I thought that the world's new music was hopelessly shallow. I came across a suggestion to see Hi Ren! in the comments on a Dead South video, and it has been transformational, going so far beyond Lies of the Beautiful People, but somehow in the same vein: we are at risk of losing our humanity to pop-culture. And then, along comes a harbinger of truth!
I have been completely depleted since hurricane Ian, I Lost almost everything and now separated after 20 years of marriage, don’t get to see my children every day anymore which crushes my soul. Ren you have helped give me faith when I thought it was no longer possible. Keep fighting the good fight please,it helps so many, thank you.
Wow, brother you are my soulmate. I lost everything in Hurricane Sandy, lost the relationship with my wife of 30 years, and haven't been able to speak to either of my daughters in over 5 years. Hang in there brother it does get easier. What doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
You are something else mate……..I’ve introduced my 10 year old lad to your stuff and withheld a few expletives here and there 😂 but hearing him sing the first few bars of ‘illest of our time’ in the shower this morning made my heart melt. He loves you man and your music is the first he’s ever taken an interest in. He’ll never forget you bro and long will your legacy live on as it’s growing by the minute!!!
I was watching Animal while my 17month old grandson was round and he was mesmerised by it and he never stands still that long normally! I'm 54 and can't listen to nothing apart from ren and chinchilla, love you guys ❤
🤣🤣 I also introduced Ren to my 14 year old boy but my 5 year old son is absolutely obsessed with Rens music. He bugs me half the day to put Ren on, then I have to quickly turn the volume down for the expletives, which I don’t always manage to do🤣🤣 but after a little chat, he understands not to say those words outside of the house🤣🤣 His top songs just to name a few are Power, Girls, What You Want & diazepam & the love music trilogy.
Lost my dad to it. It’s been 8 years (as of May 15th). Think of him every day. Remind myself to “get past today. Tomorrow is a different problem.” Honestly believe that your music helps. Didn’t know if I really wanted to hear this, but thankful I did. From one stranger to another, thank you and much ❤.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be shattering to lose your parent to suicide. We never get over such losses. We learn to live with them. Sending you love.
I hope talking about it helps with the pain and the healing.. as someone who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts- I’m hopeful that these conversations can make the whole subject less taboo to talk about so people don’t feel alone in their suffering. From one stranger to another, thanks for sharing and stay strong💜
I lost dad 6yrs ago and we're coming up on what would've been his 67th birthday... my brother in law 14yrs ago when he was 23. It still hurts. Sorry for your loss... 💔
As a Vet who has lost friends to suicide and a parent to an unsolved homicide, the pain, the doubt, and the guilt never go away. They just become a part of you, and you carry them everywhere you go. Thank you for this song, and for letting me grieve once again, but in the company of so many others that feel the same pain.
What a song. What a video. Yet another masterpiece. That last verse hits harder than anything I’ve ever heard, knowing the story I don’t any human can hear that without being brought to tears. Your friend would be very proud of what you’re doing. Critical acclaim awaits I’m sure, even without that though you have a legion of lifetime fans here to support you 👍
I’ve had many suicidal thoughts in my life but my beautiful children keep me going. I could never cause them pain to release mine. Beautiful song Ren! 💖🖤💖
There was a point I felt trapped in my life. I could not take the pain anymore and cried myself to sleep. I didn’t want to go to sleep. If I slept I would probably wake up again and I could not imagine facing the pain of another day. I had no idea or hope I could make it through the torture of tomorrow. However, I could not give up and escape because my children needed me and it would cause irreparable harm to them if I did. Hence I was trapped. For me I fixed it by admitting what I knew was wrong about my life and getting treatment. 14 years later and I am still here. I have a semi colon branded on the inside of my right wrist where people will see it when I shake their hand in greetings, wave to them, or reach out to offer a hand up. If you ever need someone reach out. I do not know you but I love you anyway. Light, Love, and Magic Always! ;
I tried and failed just like everything else in life, it broke me more than before and took the same amount of my existing life to get over the symptoms of that attempt. It’s not worth it and although every day can be a struggle it’s still better to be living no matter what you think and can push through day by day.
I lost my daughter to suicide 4 years ago and have tears streaming down my face as every second of this resonated... I'm only alive vecause i have other children but it's a fight every day. Its endless unanswerable questions and 'what if's. Like others in the comments, hearing and seeing those emotions expressed so beautifully, with such vulnerability has torn me open and made me feel seen 😢💔
Ren opened up his soul and let us right in on this track. It was so raw, honest and vulnerable. This is exactly why Ren is such a special artist. He truly is a generational talent.
I can relate to this man, I lost a friend on Menai Bridge in 2016, I was in Llangefni, didn’t find out until the morning by a North Wales Police post and everyone’s missing posts, I spoke with him that night. I can relate to this dude, I can see it was massively difficult to put it in words.❤️
For me and my personal taste, you are an exceptional musical talent. Never before has a musician been able to enthral and completely immerse me like you. Thank you very much! ❤
Freckled Angels hit hard when I first came across it and just reading through your comment makes me feel like this one is gonna take me apart a little again. I lost my love to suicide in 2013, known him since I had been 12. Thank you yet again for doing what you do, for sharing, for shining a light on matters that matter and for voicing out what others can't. 💚 Let's keep their memory alive.
Englsih is not my native language so i'll do my best. Thanks man, I've been in a depression for about 12 years, I fought as hard as I could but I've started considering suicide 6 month ago. With my last piece of life I asked for help but no one answered to my call. But i heard your song and it gave me enough energy to fight one last time and find the right people to help me and it worked. Now I have pills but not forever and i can live a new life. I know I own it to myself but you helped me so much. So thank you with all my still beating heart.
Not sure where you are but I know Kokopelli. Are you Dine'? Do you live near Farmington? Would love to meet you so we could be 2 humans', talking, face to face. I know a thing or gazillion about pain. I will listen.
Thanks for sharing hun. I've made a number of attempts over the years, but now at 54 I thank the God's I survived. All we have is each and every minute, right here and now, to make the decision we're going to choose happiness and gratitude. Despite the past, despite what's happening in our lives, we have to choose to have faith and trust the process. You are here for a reason. All the absolute best mate. (Have you read "Desiderata")?
I'm an old hip-hop head and ren I just came across your music and can't get enough ur diversity is mad crazy!!! Keep inspiring the youth that need it!!!
Thankyou everyone so much for watching, this one was difficult to write, but im glad I got to share it with you. As always here are the lyrics and the link to stream
found.ee/ren-suic-de
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suidice
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treading on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide
I'm so fucking lonely beneath this,
narcisistic, cant keep a secret,
miscount sheep, I can't sleep, a misfit
Some say troubled, but some say sadistic,
Bruises my brother, one time or the other,
my skin felt counterfeit, silicone, rubber
Bruises my sister, skin pop the blister
dig deep resist the feeling when it hits you
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suidice
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treding on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide
[sample] Sick boi, sick boi, bitten by a tick boi
I feel like its not me its the world thats sick
I'm so fucking washed up and sea sick
masochistic kid with a split lip
six feet deep I can't eat im nervous
won't stay down 'cause my body purges
useless my mother, cant keep in my supper
skin so pale 'cause my cheeks leak colour
Truth is my father, you choose your karma
draw for the sword then drive through the armour
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suidice
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treding on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut,
Your stomach burns when you're drinking from an empty cup,
You know the entire ocean came from my tear ducts?
I see the world through fibonacci sequences and Double Dutch
I guess there’s some that’s born lucky, there’s some that’s not
I tried to cut away my bitterness - hatchet job
I locked my youth in a trunk inside a pick up truck
Then dumped the whole thing over the same bridge the night you jumped
I think about that sometimes , vividly
What it felt like to look down and see tranquility
One sudden movement in a world of possibility
Only one movement to expose our fragility
I fucking miss you and I miss myself
I miss thinking that were indestructible as well
I miss chilling by the pier cave and kicking back
Wirth Callum, Hugo, Sagar, Justin, Stevie and the fuckin lads
I miss missing that, I numbed myself to close the gap,
I never even call em up the distance is my plaster cast,
The truth is that the day you jumped my childhood jumped too,
But I still can’t find the anger all I find is missing you
Man I miss you,
with all my rhymes
I picture running 5 minutes quicker, I'm right on time
I picture pulling you back over the edge and then were crying
And holding you my brother and telling you that it's fine
that’s not the way that I worked
Coz I was late like a jerk
There's not a day where I could find a way to break from the hurt
Your body missing so we never got to wave to the hearse
I hope your listening , I love you man, I miss you absurd
Fuck
Your best song yet!
Awesome m8
Thank you, Ren.
Incredible and fitting tribute to your friend. Love to you wherever you need it today Ren ❤
Thank you, Ren ❤
Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came.
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
Turn on notifications for the video here: ua-cam.com/video/n3JNtfi4Vb0/v-deo.html
Raising money for RNLI :
www.justgiving.com/page/ren-gill-1685546882254?Link&/ren-gill-1685546882254&
Freckled Angels album: renmakesmerch.com/products/freckled-angels-cd
Presave Suic*de: found.ee/ren-suic-de
I already know this is gonna be so great and beautiful.❤️ I'm very sorry for your lost.😕💔
I’m sorry you had to go through this Ren, i cannot even begin to imagine what that pain must feel like, and my heart goes out to anyone who has been through similar situations or if anyone feels like your friend Joe did i hope they get help & know they are loved 😔 sending you big hugs, i just know this song is going to touch so many hearts. We all are with you RIP Joe 🕊️❤️🌹 x
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us Ren. Much love to you 💖 Sorry for your loss. RIP Joe 🕊️
it's a very sad and real life story Ren, thank you for being able to open up and transform pain and suffering into beautiful songs that can really support strangers who find them, this is a real gift
❤❤❤❤❤❤
I lost my son to suicide 5 years ago. I have been considering my own for those 5 years due to this and my own battle with chronic pain. I found your music last week, Ren, and it saved me. You saved me. SOMEONE knows how I feel!
Please stay with us, you’re loved!
I hope REN sees this. I’m sure he’d appreciate it. I’ve been there but thanks to whoever I’m still here.
I’m very sorry you lost your son, it’s tragic, I can’t even imagine! Chronic pain sucks royally, but you stood for the fight, and now here we are knowing you and please know you are loved! We don’t have to know one another, it’s the positive energy that feeds us and we gain the strength to hold on. I lost three cousins to MD, it was insane living knowing when you will die. I miss them often and reminded of the words they left behind. There’s so much I can say and share but all I want you to know is someone out here is going to need you one day and like you found Ren, they will find you and you too would have saved a life. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️
Hey, im reallly sorry for this situation and hope you can realise that there are lots of people tha feel the same way as you
lots of love and hope everyone thats reading this can see some light at the end of the tunnel
My son took his life and mine has been a walking hell ever since. He was only a child at 16. Many many times I've thought about the only way I could see him again. It's hard in a way that you pray no one else should go through. I'm sorry for your loss.
Brother…I haven’t cried since late 2006, after I hit my last roadside bomb in Iraq, and was flown to Washington DC, for a year of ineffective mental treatment.
I haven’t cried in 16 years…unable, or unwilling.
I listen to your music constantly while I’m out drinking, after once being 20 months sober.
As a writer myself, every time I hear one of your songs, I understand them a little bit more…
A couple weeks ago when I stopped a medication, my emotions came back…now…I can’t listen to you without crying.
I want you to know, you give people like myself permission to feel, to be pissed off, and accept whom we are. As human beings, or artists, and students of navigating our own minds.
You are truly loved and appreciated, brother…empathy doesn’t make us weak…it reminds us that what we do for ourselves, we do for others.
🤙🏻
This was so beautiful to read. I feel like Ren was put on this earth to share his pain in order to help heal people. I'm so sorry to hear what you've gone through, but I'm glad that coming of the meds and connecting with your higher self is finally helping. Know that you are loved and supported, and by sharing your story, you too are helping others. It's always ok to be vulnerable. Take good care of you ❤
Joshua, I served on Walter Reed’s Ward 57 in 2006. I was a tall blond in a white consult jacket. Perhaps we met. You are my brother and I pray for each of us. Years later I suffered a multi-trauma and I walk the walk. My mottos changed from, “One can do more…” to “Courageous suffering begets fierce joy.” You and I are loved and admired more than we can ever know. I pray for your peace, and that joy.
Fuck all, thank you for your service.
@@bearbait7405 Wow, fierce joy. Thats me all over.
Joshua, thank you for your service, Your comment really resonates with me because I am a Veteran's Benefits Case Manager at one of the top 3 Veterans Benefits Law Firm in the country. We do everything we can for people such as yourself who gave it all. Thank you. If there is anything you think I could possibly do for YOU let me know. You already fought for my freedom, it would be the least I could do.
I tried to take my life once, when everything seemed like it was as bad as it was going to get. But my dad happened to walk in on me and stopped me. Then he just sat there and cried while holding me and saying sorry over and over and over. I'd never seen my dad cry. Not really. That really opened my eyes. I've never really gotten better. Life has gotten easier, because I got my freedom back and have been able to actually do things. But my depression still remains and I think about trying again often. But I always remember that night and I think about my older brother, whom I'm closer to than anyone else. Of my father who loves me and confided in me after I had moved away. Of my mom who's never done me any wrong. My grandparent's who have always been there for me. My friends. I've lost people in my life before, an aunt in a car accident, a classmate in her senior year of high school in an off-roading roll over accident, and those all hurt. But if I were to not be here anymore, that would be far closer to home and more personal for the people in my life. I just found this song today, and it captures that perfectly. Even though I haven't truly seen the other side, I was metaphorically the one on the bridge.
I'm still struggling with my parasitic emotions and battling everyday to rationalize them, but I will continue to press on. If not for myself, for those around me. The ones I love. I hope everyone can find a way to move past these dark places, if not, I hope you find the light to keep you company.
Thank you for sharing this. I wish you all the love and blessings in the world. And I sincerely hope that the dance will get easier for you.
Your an absolute legend my brother. Because of you, now we all know Joe, and his memory will forever live on. I’m certain he would be so proud of you
During a month-long camping trip in the summer of ‘97 I found my friend hanging in a tree when I woke up one morning. To this day I have never shared my thoughts or feelings of that morning with anyone. I’ve carried this baggage for decades, not knowing what to do with it.
I appreciate you, Ren. You are able to express feelings that I haven’t been able to articulate all these years. Cathartic. Thanku. ❤️🩹🫶🏼
Oh this reaction is heartfeld and so hitting home..warm hug for you.❤
@@christelsegbars1630 ♥️
What are your thoughts and feelings?
Gosh I cannot even imagine having to go through something like that. I’m so sorry you’ve carried that pain with you for so long. I hope that you can work through that trauma and see the good memories you had with your friend before that day 💓
❤️
I am a 75 year old woman, and this got my first UA-cam comment ever. Thank you, beautiful boy.
Congrats. All the best
Deserve a nice comment
This cheered me up so much after bawling my eyes out thank you for your comment ❤
Here's hoping you continue to explore more on UA-cam. I'm not far behind you in age and was convinced that modern music was generic and stale.
Artists like Ren prove me wrong. But what's also obvious with him is that he has a deep respect for music from the past.
I take it you can't possible have missed seeing Chinchilla?
This is my favorite interaction on all of the internet.
"It never really felt like the right time."
I've never seen a single sentence so perfectly describe suicidal thoughts. Constant, always there, always on your mind, but just... not quite yet. I'm just going to finish this book. I want to know what happens in the next season of that show. I can't leave the house this much of a mess, I'll do a deep clean first.
There's always a reason it's not quite the right time yet. Until the moment it is. And when you feel this way, every second of your life is spent finding things that make it not the right time yet.
I've never heard anyone make music that understood me like Ren does. I'm mentally ill, severely depressed, and I have an autoimmune disorder. He reaches out to us and says, "You're not alone in this."
Some nights moments like that are the only reason it isn't the right time. I hope he knows that. I hope you know, Ren, you're saving lives with your music.
He just saved mine. I mean it. He really did. He really did ....
I understand exactly what you're saying. Another line that rips at my soul "looking down and seeing tranquility "
Your comment makes a lot of sense to me. I heard somewhere throughout life, someone say "I'll do it when I finish a bottle of shampoo and conditioner at the same time." It never happens. I hope it never does for the person or wherever I heard it.
Thank you for staying. I know I'm four months past when you posted but I really hope you are still here.
@@njyates2396 I am! I'm watching an episode of Star Trek Next Gen with my friend every day. Keeping me here for now ❤️
This is not a career, not a march to fame, this is a man's artist journey we get to follow 🙏❤️
Beautifully said. ✨🙏🏼✨ What a privilege to see his truth as an artist, and more importantly an amazing soul.
❤
So true, Ren will be recognised for his greatness nothing else
❤
Hi Ren. I’m a 55yo Veteran who suffers from PTSD,Major chronic depression,Bipolar disorder plus many physical issues. I cannot explain how much your music resonates in me. THANK YOU. Never give up your truth,you are helping people in ways that you and I cannot imagine . I pray for your strength to carry on in this disjointed world and for your happiness and success. Again THANK YOU. I lost 7 brothers in a single year from 4 different wars a while back I wish they had had the opportunity to hear this,maybe some of them would still be around. To all my veteran brothers and sisters out there never,give up I can tell you from my own personal struggles and attempts that there is hope and light on the other side I’ve seen and lived it. I love and pray for you all no matter where you served or who with . One foot in front of the other and NEVER give up,it’s what we do.
Thank you for your service, I wish u all the best.
Whole heartedly agree!
Be well x
You are not alone friend.
Kind words from someone who is experiencing what you have gone through, 1st thank you for your service, 2nd keeping an open mind look into micro-dosing magic mushrooms, there seems to be a lot of great potential in helping with depression. Lots of info on you tube, try to find one you trust
One of the more enjoyable tangential effects of Ren Fandom is that, if you accidentally get really obsessive, you get to know Joe a little bit along the way. Thanks, ren.
Perfectly said. Was actually thinking something like that the other day... You put my thoughts into words beautifully. And I'm grateful you posted each word. :)
My friend jumped off the big bridge by Edinburgh, his body was missing for months, it was the worst thing. God im so sorry. Your songs are so god awfully painful but i am glad you've made them. I wish you all the care and heart warmth in the world
You’re a beautiful soul Ren. Thank you for everything you do.
Yes, a beatiful soul, you hit it !
I am gonna travel to England because of him to See him live❤
exactly my sentiment, what a truly unique & special soul, the world needs this right now with all the BS we're being told to comply with
Already had it on repeat
Second this
My exact thoughts! Not interested in these type songs but his way with words are masterfull ,world & life topics could only come from someone goin through or been through it makes me want to & not live his life which is a weird juxtaposition as normal subcontious would have stans wanting 110% to be in their "idols " place, for an artist so young he's found a look on the world I've not long embraced at 40 & fk me I've lived a few lives 😂, mad respect!!
It feels like a privilege to be allowed so far into your heart Ren. I'm sorry for the pain you feel.
sometimes it’s too much to keep it in and with that, he will continue to help those that are afraid to reach out.
we are witnessing a big push in the movement that’s long overdue. 🫶
Thanks Ren, your vulnerability is inspiring further than you know. You understand marketing and how to get into peoples souls of all ages, job well done and you deserve to find your own inner happiness.
Beautifuly put!
That's it. those are the words I was looking for. Well said.
He's not alone. A lot of us feel this way 😞😢
@@rockinrobbie1985 I'm sorry for yours too. ❤
Simply outstanding (again!). I'm 69 years old and I've never seen or heard anyone as authentic as Ren. We are witnessing the emergence of a very special talent 👏👏👏
Hans Christian Anderson wrote. "Where words fail, music speaks."
Ren, your music doesn't speak, it SHOUTS.
Never stop shouting, Ren and we will never stop screaming for you.....
RESPECT.
Something I've been saying since the 90s... "Music is how one can express that which cannot be put into words."
Guess we're on the same page. True no matter how it's phrased.
Nice yo
Oh Ren, as someone who considered taking the decision to ‘stop’ and who is now working as a mental health nurse, your ability to articulate the pain and emotion of depression and su!c!de just blows me away, every single time.
What a beautifully artistic soul you have.
That was absolutely breathtaking 💔
45 years ago I drove my car off a bridge. Last week I contemplated an overdose the difference between now and then; I know the feeling will pass. Keep writing Ren, it's needed.
I am glad that you're still here.
I hope you'll feel better soon. I hope you know how strong you are and how much the world is better off with you in it.
You're loved. I love you, friend. Reach out if you ever want to talk. You're not alone
stay strong friend 🤍 proud of you for surviving
Much love & strength to you. I hope you find joy & adventures in the future that make your life richer.
I’ve recently grappled with wanting to give up since my partner drowned in late January. He too battled suicidal ideation & depression for many years. It seems he drowned accidentally but we’ll never really know. He had said to me before he wanted the sea to take him away.
Same, I used to attempt it so often but not now, I know things get better plus I don't want to miss what Ren is gonna do next! Lol
This song was released on what would've been my son Elijah's 24th birthday. He took his own life on September 24, 2021. Ren your music touches me, moves me. Your honesty helps me heal. So thankful that you exist.....
Prayers lifted for the repose of your son, Elijah’s soul and for your peace.
much love big hugs & lots of compassion. my heart is aching for you.
❤
SO sorry for your loss.
That is very sad to hear. I wish you all the best! ❤️
As a nurse i know people want to say dont talk about this but its a good sign when someone opens up about their thoughts about this. Ren thank you for this video and song. There's nothing wrong with feeling and opening up to let others know they can talk. I want them to talk before its too late. Thank you Ren
You're amazing, thank you!
Reach out your hand until they take it. You are amazing.
from one nurse to another, thank you for all you do! spending your life in the service of others is the most rewarding feeling, but it is also very difficult~ difficult physically, difficult emotionally, difficult mentally, etc… much love to all the nurse out there!
@@treeblesI absolutely agree. My mom works in the medical field as well (I'm not sure what exactly she does) but I have always had respect for medical profesionals and other people that help them in some way as they have to endure so much pain from what they whitness yet stay strong to keep helping others. It takes alot of bravery and mental strength to be able to stay strong in such situations as such I will always respect doctors, nurses, etc.
Tomorrow is the six year anniversary of losing my 20 year old child in similar circumstances. Time does not heal, it accommodates. Beautiful song Ren. Thank you.
❤
So sorry for your loss ❤❤ Big hug to confort you from a human to another
❤
My 13 year old son died 12 years ago,of natural causes. And yes,you are so right.....Some things time does NOT heal. Losing a child is one of those things. I'm so sorry for your loss,and I hope that you've found a way to live with the grief and still find happiness.......❤
“Time does not heal, it accommodates”-beautifully said.
I don’t often comment but wanted to say thank you for helping my husband finally release the pain of losing his friend of 50+ years the same way and realising he is not alone in the way he feels. You have a very unique talent.
I have been struggling with dark thoughts for a long time and last night I found myself scared, alone in the woods, it has never got this bad before.
In the UK, the video has a link to “the Samaritans”, a charity there for those who need some emotional support.
I clicked the link and spoke to a lovely lady for half an hour. Then the police came and helped direct me to more support and crisis centre.
Last night. This song saved my life.
Thank you Ren. Thank you so much.xx
I hope you heal Liam.
Glad you are still here ♥️
From the daughter of a victim of mental illness, I promise that the ppl you think won't miss you, will. I promise their hurt will never heal. And I promise they're glad- and I'm glad you're still here.
Hang in there brother !
🫂
I lost my son to suicide 7 months ago and grieving has been life changing .Thank you for this song as my son suffered from mental illness and this song is a tiny glimpse into the torture he endured. I only wish he had heard your music before he ended his life .
🖤
So very sad, my condolences.
I'm sorry
The honesty in your emotion is utterly vital. You’re doing something hugely important, Ren.
Anyone listening to this, just know no matter what anyone says, there is only one you in this world, you couldn't be more unique and more special! One of a kind! ❤
True
Yep, unique.
Just like everybody else.
Even more than that, in the entire existence of the universe, there is only one you.
Yes, indeed and for everyone, so special, 1 of 7.8 billion!
So is everyone else which doesn't make me unique
Hi Ren…I’m sorry you lost your friend. I lost my son. He would’ve loved your music! Thank you for writing such a beautiful song. You will save lives with your art ❤
Beautiful
already has
Oh, wow... your comment hit me there just as the song was starting.
Sorry about your son, Amanda x
Sterke en veel wijsheid .
❤x
I genuinely feel that ren saved my life. I lost my dad to suicide last year. After he died I struggled with some suicidal thoughts and I feel like I heard this song at the perfect time. To hear that someone understood my pain, it made me feel so much better and feel like I was no longer alone! Thank you ren
To say I think you are one of the realist and most interesting artists I've listened to in an age is a massive understatement.
In a world of filters, egos, PR agents and bullshit, you are truly a breath of fresh air, Ren. 🥰
Well, I'm fucking wrecked. The emotion you poured into this is beautiful. I hope making it helped you heal just a little more. You've got an army behind you now and we appreciate you more than you will ever know. 🖤🖤
Loneliness and self critism are my companions throughout my journey of whatever this life is. Suicidal thoughts give me company often i try to drown them out but i am so depressed its almost deafining
😢❤🙏
Hi jmac, I've just seen your comment and had to say that you are not alone, there are many people in this world that feel as you do. We can be our own worst critic and our dark depression leads us to negative thoughts and feelings which lead to even more sorrow and negativity. However, there are people in this world that care about you, even if they are strangers. They're only strangers until you talk to them so please reach out and talk to them. I sincerely wish you a brighter future xx❤❤xx
Wow, Ren! A beautiful tribute to your dear friend. Has me choked with tears every time I listen to it.
That’s one powerful song!!
Sending hugs.
Everyones crying and full of love at the same time.. ❤ Rennnnnn!! Thanks so much for everything you do. You will save lives with this song.
When I was 18, I lost my 16yo sister to suicide. It's been almost 9 years and it still hurts. She was my best friend and I miss her every day and want her by my side.
What a strong song this is, Ren. Thank you for such beautiful, relatable words. My sincere condolences.
I am SO sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry. I lost my brother my best friend too. It’s been 14 years and it seems like yesterday. I’m so sorry you have this pain. Stay strong 🫶🏻
My 24year old bright, beautiful, talented nephew ended his life last week. The devastation, heart ache and pain have decimated the family. Hundreds of people are affected. Keep speaking out about mental health. Thank you for this.
No words, just common compassion for your family.
@@Rayna-gn3ni thank you
I'm so sorry shit sucks. My family dosesnt wanna admit my dad killed himself he did.. I'm sending hugs and tears 😢 I understand you're love ones being ripped from you like that is
Insane 😢
@@amandacarver757 I am so sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking.
I'm sorry for your loss. Stories like this are why I'm still here - I can't do this to my family and friends. There's a lot of days I resented them for this, life (and death) would be so much easier in a vacuum, without someone loving and missing you. Spent so much time figuring out how to make it look like an accident, to make sure nobody blamed themselves for missing it. If I slipped one of those nights up on a ledge I'd probably be where your nephew is now, but I'm not and I'll try to make the best of it.
Our brain can be the worst enemy, turn the whole world to gray and twist everything good into something terrible. I'm sorry your nephew lost that fight, there's nothing to say that makes it okay but I hope you'll have the support and time to cope with this the best you can.
One world. One Future. Much Love. God bless!
Ren, I am a 52 year old schizophrenic. There are things that I would love to share and say to you but I am terrified of the internet so I will just say this; When I was in my teens (before meds and therapy) I had decided to take my own life. One young man in one of my classes, not a boy I knew personally, figured it out and patiently but determined would not let me go home until I promised that I wouldn't. After several hours of me dodging the truth and denying his accusations I finally, just to get rid of him, I bitterly swore to him that I would never take my own life. I kept my promise. Several years later he died of cancer and I often think of him knowing that because of him, I still draw breath to this day. Every time I smile, laugh, celebrate my birthday I think of him and quietly in my heart dedicate it all to him. You are so profoundly brave to me. I see his fire and passion to help in you. I relate to so much of your work and I find it inspiring and validating. I just want to say that from one human being to another, I see you, I feel it all too, I love you like a brother, and thank you for seflessly giving so deeply of yourself so brazenly to the masses to reach ones like me. 💞
That was beautiful and well said ❤
@@KayGee13 Thank you ❤
Life always has an interesting way of turning around, for good or bad, it is what molds us, and keeps us as we should be. Glad you are still here, dont leave us until its time
That's beautiful 💞
Thank you for sharing. Sending my warmest love to you in this cold world. I feel like we’ve all got each other here - Ren is amazing love his music and lyrics a true inspiration to us all x
Came down from apartment to donate to a busker today, as I heard her performing ‘How to be me’ we both evangelised to a passer by about REN’s awesomeness! So I bought her a pint as well. 😂
Rest in peace, Lunney. Will always appreciate your friendship through school.
Wow, Ren! This is unbelievable! You are elevating pain on another level, mate. Thinking about the amount of shit life has put you through and you go out there and turn yourself inside out for everyone to see. What a masterpiece you’ve created again! Those emotions, the rawness, the lyrics, the bloody visuals,… oh my god! And like in “Hi Ren” just when we think we made it through to the end you take us to the cleaners. I’m sitting here crying me eyes out. Feeling so sad for you suffering that much pain and at the same time being blown away by the beautiful art you keep blessing us with.
One day, when you feel the time is right, the stage will be yours, Ren and you will be descending on the Glastonburys of this world like a shining light and the crowds will be there to open their hearts and souls for you like you open yours for us right now. Or they might switch on the fuckin’ TV and watch you on Netflix for that matter… can’t wait either way. Keep going bro!
ahem
I couldn't have put it better myself, KS!
Ren is here to stay 💫💜
Holy shit man. Every time you release something its like you share a part of yourself with the world. Not some surface level drivel like a lot of artists, but something that people can connect to. I have nothing else to say than thank you for this and everything you decide to share. Your music is art portrayed in sound.
Dear Ren,
As a 57-year-old gentleman grappling with chronic pain for over a decade, there was a period when my hope dwindled and all I perceived was an engulfing darkness. I even considered choosing the seemingly easy way out. However, everything shifted upon discovering your music. While the physical discomfort remains an everyday companion, my perspective on life has undergone a significant transformation.
I feel an immense sense of gratitude towards you, not just for the solace I find in your songs, but also for the resilience you demonstrate in your personal life. You are an inspiration, and your strength echoes in each melody. Thank you for being a beacon of hope.
With deepest admiration,
Börje
Amen
I found my brother hanging from the rafters at our shop. I see this image every time I close my eyes. This song really helped me! RIP my brother D-Dog David Wegener 🙏
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Damn I can’t even imagine going through that :(
I'm very sorry. Please be strong 🥺
RiP to your brother. I'm so sorry x
It was in 2018 so I've handled the shock of seeing it. I still can't get the vision of him in that position out of my head when I close my eyes. The only good thing that come out of this is that he didn't have to experience the fall of humanity over a shot and how people were divided, and then the entire world gets locked down. He left the world not knowing that everything we were told growing up was a huge lie.
Thank you Ren, everytime you create one of these honest vunerable songs , I see it reverberate through the male population around me. Ren is the sound of healing, Ren is the sound of talking it through, Ren is the sound of trusting that there is kindness on the other side of our words . I hope you get the help you offer the rest of the world. ❤
This!
I teared up a lil there
I knew this was coming after you spoke out about it on Knox's channel. Man this is going to be some deep sh1t I can tell. We appreciate you so much mate, and I have lost a friend to suicide, as so many others have as well. You are going to touch so many lives with this one. ❤❤❤❤❤❤🙏🙏💯💯. I hope you continue to heal and grow as a person and artist, and that the ones who we have lost, stay with us as a reminder that we are all human, none of us are perfect, and we can all learn something from each other ❤❤❤❤
I’m still in recovery from a su!ic!de attempt in February. I was sectioned and am now in a much better place. Things really can get better but i didn’t believe it when I was in that headspace. It’s truly a disease. I’ve struggled with thoughts like that since I was 17. I’m 25 now.
Thank you for this song Ren. If I hadn’t lived I wouldn’t have gotten to hear it ❤️ I try to look for the little things like that now. There’s so much to experience and learn and see.
Thank you for making all of us feel less alone and seen. Thank you for sharing your art with the world. It’s a much better place with you in it.
Condolences for your friend. I hope he found peace. 😓
Thanks for sharing these hopeful words
Dear Jiji, you are worth hapiness, you are loved by all the strangers from all over the world who react to your honoust reaction..... please accept my warm hug for you❤❤❤
How did you come to suffer so much at such a young age?
@@ILTOMBA thank you for reading ❤️ there is always some hope, no matter how small
@@christelsegbars1630 thank you so much for your lovely words. I am accepting your hug to give you one in return. 🫂❤️
It's very rare a song gets to me like this song, having lost friends to suicide and have attempted it myself in the past, having gotten through some bad times and surviving every day is a blessing. As a 53 year old male who struggles with mental health issues I say thank you for your music it's a great help and has inspired me to continue. THANK YOU 💙☮️🎼
Glad you were able to complete the song, a painful but (hopefully) therapeutic process for you.
I can't wait to hear it ❤
Dude I literally don’t understand how you never miss for me. With every other artist I have obvious favorites and others I don’t vibe to. But, me personally, ya just never miss. Also, aside from the music, the artistry of this video is amazing. I’d watch an entire series in this style.
I am in the same boat. I haven't seen an artwork or song from Ren that did not speak to me in one way or another. He just does not publish misses.
That makes it even stranger that he was discovered just now, and not years ago. The art he created with The Great Push is amazing too. (I know some of their busking videos went kind of viral too, but what we are experiencing now is different.)
What Ren does with this newfound influence is admirable and amazing. It is a very fine line and balancing act to gain popularity and not get corrupted by it but use it for the greater good. Ren seems to be a masterful tightrope walker too.
Same for me. I have bought all his music and have it all in one playlist. Just put it on random play and it’s the only thing I’ve listened to for months.
Ditto
A.I imagery, you can tell a mile off. Shout out to the directors though.
@@Jmaccxx The directors must have done an amazing job piecing all of that together
It's not just that this song is beautiful and shattering in its own right, but we all actually love Ren. Not like, "Oh, I love that band," We Love Ren like family or a long time friend. The song touches us even more because we care so much about the person singing it.
Thank you for stating this truth perfectly!! 😍 I completely agree with what you said! Both my Hubby and myself care deeply about Ren the human being & want so damn much for Ren to experience the long, healthy, happy & fulfilled future he's been dreaming of & fighting so very hard to achieve one day! My Soulmate & I are both RENegades for life!! 💙🙃
Have an awesome weekend, sweetie!
Wholeheartedly agree. It's unexplainable .. just love
Well said💯
Ren IS love ❤️
Watching Ren on his Twitch is amazing, as he is able to make it feel like we are all there hanging out chattin' with him! I don't know how he does it, but it's top notch! 👏
Ren, I hope you can realize and appreciate how many more faceless "Joes" you were right on time for to help talk them down from their own ledge with your music, your words. The work you do and the messages you provide are necessary and so very appreciated. I've never been more moved by an artist in my life.
This is the authenticity in music that the world needs. Please don't ever stop doing this.
YES... You nailed it. 🤙
Absolutely ❤
If i could hit the thumbs up 1000 times I would.
My 16 yr daughter has been suicidal for past 4 years. I haven't been able to really reach her , I've used anger, talking, coaching, and begging. I showed her this today we cried. This showed her there's 2 sides to suicide the person we loose & the person they loved in us that would go with them. Thank you Ren for being so vulnerable & valuable at the same time.
I hope she turns the corner.
Hope she gets through the troubling times she's having. Much love from the UK!
So happy to hear about the experience you shared with her today. Wishing you two nothing but the best for the future. :)
Music is beautiful
Hold her tight, we lost our daughter 9 years ago to suicide. My heart will always be broken.
Man. My friend jumped too. I'm sorry, Ren. It doesn't get easier, but I do feel seen, hearing this. Thank you for sharing this, and I hope knowing you've touched so many people helps you, even just a little.
you said it for me
so sorry for you loss man!
Prayers lifted for the repose of your friend’s soul and for your peace.
Please never silence your voice nor your light, Ren. You are a beacon.
Yo, Ren is straight up hitting me in the feels with his song "Su!cIde"! This dude came out of nowhere and straight-up tore my life into pieces with his words. Every damn lyric and melody sends chills down my spine. I've even made it a priority to practice his songs to ease my mental stress.
Ren's lyrics are like a punch in the gut, man. He captures that feeling of being lost and lonely so damn well. It's like he's speaking directly to my soul. His words resonate deep within, making me realize I'm not alone in my struggles. He ain't afraid to delve into the darkness and expose his vulnerabilities. He's not some fake-ass artist trying to hide behind a mask. Nah, he bares it all, unapologetically. And that's what makes him so damn authentic.
If you're reading this, know that your music is a lifeline for so many of us. You've created something special, something that speaks to our inner demons. Keep doing what you're doing, man. We need more artists like you who aren't afraid to confront the raw, messy parts of life.
So, here's to Ren, the master of expressing our darkest thoughts and emotions through his music. You're a true inspiration, bro. Can't wait to see what else you've got in store for us. Much love, respect, and appreciation! 🙌🖤
My nephew died of suicide about one week after I last got close to it. I got help. He didn't let anyone know. This was a few weeks ago. This is the only time I will mention it. The family keeps silent. Self destruction runs in our family. I learned how to transform suicidal feelings by letting go of things instead of myself. I am still letting go, to make sure the urge does not come back during this very dark time. I keep finding purpose in my life to keep from doing this thing to myself. You help me so much with this task. When I heard a few days ago that you were planning to release this song I was relieved. We are the kind who walk through the fire and out the other side. We talk about it. My nephew couldn't do that. Let's keep talking. It helps.
Thanks for sharing
Prayers lifted for the repose of his soul and for the family’s and friends’ peace.
@@ILTOMBA Thank you.
@@bearbait7405 Thank you.
20k in under and hour!!! impressive Ren! i have no words just yet as I'm still in a puddle of tears on the floor!! healing from grief is life changing and profound when you allow the pain to take you down in order to rebuild! losing someone so important alters the landscape indefinitely and the only thing time changes, is how long and how often we get swept away in our grief. thank you for another real, vulnerable, beautiful, honest, raw and incredibly important message! this is why you speak to so many souls!!! this community is a result of your pain, loss, honest take on your thoughts and experiences. I am someone you saved though your music!! because in the 1st time in my life, I make sense to me. we don't often get the opportunity to witness how far the ripple effect goes! you are a light in a very dark time for many people. you go by many names also, some people know you as hope!!! rest in peace Joe. Thank you, Ren! you and your whole crew!! @bigpush @chinchilla @dirtmiller and the countless reactions. just a little insight from a 57 year old lady who hasn't been excited about music in 20 years❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥✌
I hear you ❤
Stay strong. I’m terminally ill without a heart transplant. And now I no longer to pray to die….but to live. I’m so confused and lost. Things will get better for u. Hold tight.
Much love from Kentucky, Lesley and medical Service Dog Jake.
@@guardiansanimalrescuestate7289 ❤
@@guardiansanimalrescuestate7289 God be with you! You are in my prayers!! Sounds like Ren had brought a couple of old broads some peace. I'm sorry for what you're dealing with and wish you more good days than crappy ones!! Peace be with you ❤️❤️
First let's give it up to whomever created the graphics that make up the video. Such a unique way showing the movements in stills over a moving person. Secondly the chorus had me singing this all freaking day. A light goes out on the otherside, su!cide su!cide su!cide....Ren youre such a master of words and music. Thanks for your gift.
You done Joe proud with this one my friend.
😢By being this vulnerable you’ve give a voice to and told the story of millions of us who have lost someone to or attempted suicide. Thank you ❤
I was actually a little surprised that that wasn't what was mentioned in his comment about the 'inspiration'(for lack of a better word) for this song, I love that he is such a transparent human being that seems to bring kindness, love and empathy out of other human beings. But when I listened to this the first time, I was an ass 'assuming' that was what this song was about. I guess I was wrong, I'm sure it resonates today, regardless. I am Sure, as with many of his songs, we all take it where we need it, we all have a different journey, but we all feel the same feelings. As we are human beings. 🥹 Much Love. 💚🦋🎶
@ KCs Funhouse 💯💯 true
@@D.RED420he mentioned it not long ago in his community posts you can see it ❤
I lost my girlfriend to suicide 4yrs ago, completely fucked up my life. Brought me to suicide, brought me to addictions to numb the emptiness. I pray those who are experiencing the same thing, same thoughts, same feelings, reach out. I love you, we can get through this ❤️
Thanks man. I needed that. Drunk while I read this but made me go to fucking bed...
@@emilgrinderslev1654 🙏🏻
Hey bro. Lost my wife 2 and a half years ago. In the thick of it still it feels.
You ever want anyone to talk to, save my info. What happened happened, but we're still here and I love you man
@@roberthighsmith26 ❤
After reading the whole story and processing it a little bit, I am once again awe-struck and taken aback by it. Sad because of the fact that joe died that day and you had to went through all of this without ever saying goodbye to him, even after death, because the body was never found. At the same time awe-struck because of your ability to tell this tale in that manner and your fantastic idea with the charity and gift. Grabbed the CD bundle today and hope this money will also be of help where it is needed.
Thank you so very much for being you ren, we appreciate you more than words can ever say. I love you.
You saved a lot people w that song man...
Hope you know...
We all thank you...
I believe he did and does. I wish I could have listened to this song with my son. I found this song today. It hit me so hard. My son was gone eight years ago. I don't know about your situation, but I hope you enjoy every moment of your life with your loved ones.
My sons first experience of suicide was when their 16 year old cousin took his own life. In a 2 year period we were connected to 6 other men who also chose that path; my eldest son's best mate, at 23, an uncle... the list goes on... thank you for talking about it and I look forward to hearing your words in this song. Words are so important. Stay strong.
Oh and... One of my all time favourite songs has the same title: ua-cam.com/video/8GOZW7iwgnE/v-deo.html
Thankyou for sharing..bless you 🙏
Thank you - I helped open a boxing club and we lost 2 young lads there during Covid and a female friend during that time too. The threat of suicide is real - We have become almost desensitised to it now, which is really sad.
😢 I Lost 6 friends just in motorcycles and I don't count the ones freefalling on the whites
I used to listen to Shinedown Daylight.
Brent Smiths voice gives strength.
“He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment.” 💔 That’s a great photo of you both - and I hope everyone donates in anyway they are able. Take good care thank you for sharing Joe’s story. For creating and sharing. For choosing to be here now. 💛
Inless it's a place u pay to go in, unfortunately u after be admitted by an hospital after a serious attempt on your life "which is very fucked up" for them to even consider admitting u, have been sectioned twice now and both times a was in pinderfields hospital in A&E locked in a room for about 20 hour until their was a free bed b4 they would take mi to a fieldhead mental ward in Wakefield
That is def one major issue that should b repaird yesterday w only one judge that I Kno of(in FL EEUUAA) that is tryin 2 do so. I'm almost pretty sure he was wrkg inoutof Miami at the time but that was practically a decade ago. Can relate. Many many levels. Tytyty keep up keeping up
I tried to check myself in once in the boston area and then hours later they told me if i wasn’t trying to kill myself i couldn’t stay. I wasn’t. And that was $1500 later
@@smokedog2185
@@christyheffernan1248 I only know about here in UK m8, I thought u had to pay for all medical stuff in America
I'm a 46 year old male and this is the first song that's made me cry that isn't directly associated with a moment in my own life. Between 'Hi Ren" and this I've never encountered an artist that hits me in the soul so hard.
I'm 52 and I'm right there with you brother. Thought I was too old and too hardened for any "new" music to get to me. Then I heard "Hi Ren".
Yep 46 too. And this guy is next level. Never been so excited to watch an artist grow, he is groundbreaking & his music will be talked about in generations to come.
i'm way older than all of you . i'm 81. you are all punks
54 in a week and same here.
Ren has lived a lifetime already it send and somehow has the gift and talent and puts in the hard work to translate his thoughts and emotions into relatable music. What a guy. Greetings from the Netherlands.
Exactly the same - I love 90s grunge, 70s disco, 00 nu-metal , and more , but Ren's art/music/story telling resonates at such base a level. What an incredible talent , first artist in probably 30 years , actually maybe all my years, that has made me stop , think , listen and just be awe struck.
I lost my twin brother when we were 18. Car accident. Not a suicide, but I was very ill at the time. I mean, well into my 3rd month of hospitalization(of 7). So I was allowed out on a 24 hour pass, that we had to get special dispensation for. I had to go back early the next day. So I wasn’t there to wave or sing him out, like my community did. And I’m grateful for all those people who were there. For me and for my family, but it doesn’t change the fact that he and I hadn’t talked or seen each other in over a month. And I can’t forget, or forgive myself, for that. So, though our situations are different, Ren. They have their deep similarities. So your music makes me cry, it makes me feel heard. I feel grateful that there’s an artist out there that I know would understand my…troubles. So thank you for writing and singing what I can’t. If you ever need a math teacher, I’m here! Lol
Incredibly powerful. I am so glad you added the end, and spoke about Joe again. And that so much good will come from this. Not just for the Anglesey RNLI, but all the people who will find this and know they aren't alone and need to stay. Your pain is enormous, but you are using the force of it as it crashes through you to save others. Joe's legacy echoes in all that you do. He is in every line, every melody, and every mountain you sing to.
Lost my son to suicide 7 years ago - when I first heard Hi Ren it resonated on so many levels for male mental health. Thank you for your courage in bringing this crisis to the front of our minds and confronting the epidemic that is so taboo in our society. ❤ love and strength to you Ren! You are a legend!
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So sorry for your loss. Big love to you my felllow human ❤
Prayers lifted for the repose of your son’s soul and your peace.
The day this comes out is my birthday and I've been living with cripling depression and anxiety for 4yrs, right now I'm low but I know I can be the man I was again. I too had a friend like Joe, last year he jumped of a cliff even though he hated heights and nobody knows why he did. We all have our bad times and need someone to listen, we need to look out for our loved ones and try to be the hand they need for support. I am so glad I found you Ren as your music has helped ground me when I'm start to slip, thankyou for being a beautiful person.
Keep fighting Johny. The world needs you.
Johny, things do get better, you will feel light and cheerful again one day, I promise. I’ve been through it and am living proof that things do come right again and life can feel light and joyful in the way it used to once feel. Hold onto that HOPE. Please find and invest in a great psychotherapist or Jungian psycho analyst that you connect with and has the same values as you. They can really, really be transformational, if they’re good and in tune with you. For now listen to The Blindboy podcasts mental health and psychology podcasts. They are pure gold, helped me ALOT!!! You will get through this. You will! 100% possible. You woudn’t be here on this earth if you weren’t meant to be, remember that. Eventually life will show you why, it will come. With time and reflection you will find more and more tools and tidbits that bring you more peace and joy as you soften into accepting yourself and seeing you’re strengths and value. You just have to be strong and get though this challenging time, you will be so wise once you make it through. I kind of like to think of these conditions as a very loud wake up call, maybe it’s your soul telling you to look inward and work though and release layers of trauma/ un healthy core beliefs…to find and live in alignment your authentic self. Or it’s something or many things in your environment that needs to change, so that you a living a life that aligns with your values. Also please watch ‘Stutz’ on Netflix - really cool mental health doco, lots of amazing mental tools nuggets of gold. Disclaimer, I’m not a psychologist - I’m just speaking from my single personal experience. Ps. Even psychologists/ doctors reccomend their patients to listen to the blindboy podcast!! Just search for his mental heath or psychology podcasts. You’ve got this! You have value, you many not see it now, and you may feel those terrible crippling feelings all the time, but with the right help and knowledge and reflection and tools things will come right again, you will feel peace, joy and sunny again. ❤
Good wishes on ya birthday mate. Hang in there. There are good things out there. Its hard. Push on through. Your not alone.
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There’s a whole world of us pulling for you, my friend. I’m so glad that you are here and sharing music, time, and your story with us. Thanks for being awesome you❤️
Having thoughts like this makes you feel like a hologram that no one can really see properly. Like no space anywhere is the right space and it makes you feel so alone. Your music has made me feel seen, even if it's from a distance. Thank you ❤️
As someone who lost a dear friend to suicide, this hits hard.
My deepest condolences on your loss Ren.
Prayers lifted for the repose of your friend’s soul and for your peace.
For me personally this is one of your most brilliant songs that I can relate to. I found my partner of over 12 years hanging in the garden shed less than 2 years ago. He, like you was a musical genius who has written, recorded and produced loads of great music. I know I'll see him again in the Afterlife. Thanks for your amazing music! 🎶🎤🎶🖤
😢🙏☮️
❤ love you human to human
James, that's awful. I'm so sorry. A man I looked up to as a teen hung himself the night after telling a group of us about all the bad stuff he'd been through but how he had finally found hope. I've never been able to make sense of it, but by grace I wasn't the one to find him. I hope you're doing okay.
I'm so sorry 💔
And Bless you, its always a hard thing to reach out from your soul
You speak words that so many of us cannot. Your words can soothe, hurt, bring us down and take us high. You are a true storyteller, a true artist, a true human being. Your words and music are what so many people find comfort and solace in. I say Thank you Ren. Peace and Love from Australia
I couldn’t put it better . ❤from Canada
Nice. Love from USA, Maine. 🦞
Never been a fan of rap or hip hop but Ren is different. Draw forth the sword and drive through the armor. Keep the faith Ren.
Only way to heal is to fight through the pain. This is your way of fighting. Thank you for sharing Joe's story - we will all say his name and he won't be forgotten
It reminds me of the sentiment that sometimes you encounter things that you’ll never get over, but that you can get through.
Wow, "It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut".... That is deep... my son died by suicide in 2014, Ren, Thank You for voicing the pain that occurs after having someone die by suicide. I am constantly awaiting your new songs to be posted!! Love your work!! Thank You!!
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I lost my father to suicide almost 25 years ago. I almost got to him in time but was too late. You words encapsulate perfectly that anger, guilt and sadness. Thank you for making this song, it is needed.
My dad did the same thing totally resonate with this feeling happened 13 years ago. Your not alone and the only way we can get thru this is by knowing Jesus Christ is real and we never die. I know we will see our dads again Matt that's how I was able to move forward. You live your best life & help others especially the people dealing with the same problem you already faced. Thank you Ren for writing this song it helps all of us. My cousin also committed suicide in 2021 it's more common than you would think,. So we have to pray to stay strong during these hard times for us and other people. God bless you all
Prayers lifted for the souls of your fathers and for peace.
This is my first time listening to Ren and the end absolutely broke me. This line "but I still can't find the anger all I find is missing you" made me sob. Never before I've heard someone putting into words that feeling
This was the hardest one yet. I lost my mom, then my little brother and sister to suicide in the years following. It’s been hard to be the only one left, but people like you really give us all hope and support with your words. Thank you, Ren.
You are so awesome ❤ You've got this, just keep pushing through :)
I can't imagine having to deal with such a disaster as that but hold tight ]God has something amazing for you I pray you will seek him much love and respect to you for holding on and not giving up friend! Please read this verse in the bible Jeremiah 29:11-14
Sending you massive and eternal love. I've lost one family member to suicide and can, but at the same time can't begin to fathom the depths of your loss or the grief you must overcome daily. Love you
Your words tore through my heart. I will pray for your mind to be at peace tonight.
(((Hugs)))
Young artist, I am a middle-aged woman from Canada. I have lost so many friends to drugs and suicide. My days are ghosts. This captured it perfectly. Thank you.
I hope you’ll find the light 🙏🏻
@@misterdutchification I have through Stoic practice, kindness, and community service.
I have spent the last couple of months thankfully disappearing down the REN rabbit hole. I am 59 years old and over the course of the past 4+ decades, I have been exposed to many brilliant recording artists... I can honestly say, NO artist has ever touched me more, inspired me more and ultimately impressed me more than REN!! Your musical and lyrical abilities are up there with the very best of them... BUT what sets you apart in my opinion, is your willingness to strip your soul naked in front of us and expose us to every raw emotion you felt in the creation of each masterpiece song. You are the catalyst that helps us rediscover our own emotional literacy. You are the musical & lyrical bard of our times. Please never change!
I second this comment. Absolutely
Couldn't agree more, I'm 61 and like you I am blown away with Ren
You've put into words, such eloquent words, exactly what I'm feeling as I reflect on my first listen to this latest work. At 62, I thought that the world's new music was hopelessly shallow. I came across a suggestion to see Hi Ren! in the comments on a Dead South video, and it has been transformational, going so far beyond Lies of the Beautiful People, but somehow in the same vein: we are at risk of losing our humanity to pop-culture. And then, along comes a harbinger of truth!
@@wave6413 thank you 🙏
@@kathleenowen4053 Agree totally 🙏
Damn, I’m straight up cryin now. What beautiful art from such pain. Respect and condolences all.
I have been completely depleted since hurricane Ian, I Lost almost everything and now separated after 20 years of marriage, don’t get to see my children every day anymore which crushes my soul. Ren you have helped give me faith when I thought it was no longer possible. Keep fighting the good fight please,it helps so many, thank you.
Stay strong mate
Courageous suffering begets fierce joy. Prayers lifted for your suffering and courage and May you find His peace. KkXpax
Stay strong mate…you never know what tomorrow will bring…
Wow, brother you are my soulmate. I lost everything in Hurricane Sandy, lost the relationship with my wife of 30 years, and haven't been able to speak to either of my daughters in over 5 years. Hang in there brother it does get easier. What doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
I went through Ian too. I lost everything after Hurricane Michael. Keep on pushing! You’re not alone.
You are something else mate……..I’ve introduced my 10 year old lad to your stuff and withheld a few expletives here and there 😂 but hearing him sing the first few bars of ‘illest of our time’ in the shower this morning made my heart melt. He loves you man and your music is the first he’s ever taken an interest in. He’ll never forget you bro and long will your legacy live on as it’s growing by the minute!!!
Awesome! Good job Dad!
Same here!!! My daughters 10 and 7 singing your music (ones I can play :) each time they jump in my truck!
I was watching Animal while my 17month old grandson was round and he was mesmerised by it and he never stands still that long normally!
I'm 54 and can't listen to nothing apart from ren and chinchilla, love you guys ❤
Sweet as❤️
🤣🤣 I also introduced Ren to my 14 year old boy but my 5 year old son is absolutely obsessed with Rens music.
He bugs me half the day to put Ren on, then I have to quickly turn the volume down for the expletives, which I don’t always manage to do🤣🤣 but after a little chat, he understands not to say those words outside of the house🤣🤣
His top songs just to name a few are Power, Girls, What You Want & diazepam & the love music trilogy.
Lost my dad to it. It’s been 8 years (as of May 15th). Think of him every day. Remind myself to “get past today. Tomorrow is a different problem.” Honestly believe that your music helps. Didn’t know if I really wanted to hear this, but thankful I did. From one stranger to another, thank you and much ❤.
Prayers lifted for the repose of your father’s soul and for your peace.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be shattering to lose your parent to suicide. We never get over such losses. We learn to live with them. Sending you love.
I hope talking about it helps with the pain and the healing.. as someone who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts- I’m hopeful that these conversations can make the whole subject less taboo to talk about so people don’t feel alone in their suffering. From one stranger to another, thanks for sharing and stay strong💜
I lost dad 6yrs ago and we're coming up on what would've been his 67th birthday... my brother in law 14yrs ago when he was 23. It still hurts. Sorry for your loss... 💔
This one just hits different. No words man, Just wow...
As a Vet who has lost friends to suicide and a parent to an unsolved homicide, the pain, the doubt, and the guilt never go away. They just become a part of you, and you carry them everywhere you go. Thank you for this song, and for letting me grieve once again, but in the company of so many others that feel the same pain.
What a song. What a video. Yet another masterpiece.
That last verse hits harder than anything I’ve ever heard, knowing the story I don’t any human can hear that without being brought to tears.
Your friend would be very proud of what you’re doing. Critical acclaim awaits I’m sure, even without that though you have a legion of lifetime fans here to support you 👍
I’ve had many suicidal thoughts in my life but my beautiful children keep me going. I could never cause them pain to release mine. Beautiful song Ren! 💖🖤💖
Prayers for your continued strength.
Keep it up buddy! It's an ongoing battle, but you're here.. you're smashing this shit.
There was a point I felt trapped in my life. I could not take the pain anymore and cried myself to sleep. I didn’t want to go to sleep. If I slept I would probably wake up again and I could not imagine facing the pain of another day. I had no idea or hope I could make it through the torture of tomorrow. However, I could not give up and escape because my children needed me and it would cause irreparable harm to them if I did. Hence I was trapped. For me I fixed it by admitting what I knew was wrong about my life and getting treatment. 14 years later and I am still here. I have a semi colon branded on the inside of my right wrist where people will see it when I shake their hand in greetings, wave to them, or reach out to offer a hand up.
If you ever need someone reach out. I do not know you but I love you anyway. Light, Love, and Magic Always! ;
Haven't don't it yet, cuz I promised my Mum that I wouldn't while she's alive
I tried and failed just like everything else in life, it broke me more than before and took the same amount of my existing life to get over the symptoms of that attempt. It’s not worth it and although every day can be a struggle it’s still better to be living no matter what you think and can push through day by day.
I lost my daughter to suicide 4 years ago and have tears streaming down my face as every second of this resonated... I'm only alive vecause i have other children but it's a fight every day. Its endless unanswerable questions and 'what if's.
Like others in the comments, hearing and seeing those emotions expressed so beautifully, with such vulnerability has torn me open and made me feel seen 😢💔
Ren opened up his soul and let us right in on this track. It was so raw, honest and vulnerable. This is exactly why Ren is such a special artist. He truly is a generational talent.
I can relate to this man, I lost a friend on Menai Bridge in 2016, I was in Llangefni, didn’t find out until the morning by a North Wales Police post and everyone’s missing posts, I spoke with him that night. I can relate to this dude, I can see it was massively difficult to put it in words.❤️
This is awful, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through that
This song just made thousands of people cry along with you. This was intensely beautiful
For me and my personal taste, you are an exceptional musical talent. Never before has a musician been able to enthral and completely immerse me like you. Thank you very much! ❤
I hope writing this song was cathartic and healing 🖤 I am excited to find out what you and Samuel have been cooking up this time around
Freckled Angels hit hard when I first came across it and just reading through your comment makes me feel like this one is gonna take me apart a little again.
I lost my love to suicide in 2013, known him since I had been 12.
Thank you yet again for doing what you do, for sharing, for shining a light on matters that matter and for voicing out what others can't.
💚
Let's keep their memory alive.
Englsih is not my native language so i'll do my best.
Thanks man, I've been in a depression for about 12 years, I fought as hard as I could but I've started considering suicide 6 month ago. With my last piece of life I asked for help but no one answered to my call. But i heard your song and it gave me enough energy to fight one last time and find the right people to help me and it worked. Now I have pills but not forever and i can live a new life. I know I own it to myself but you helped me so much. So thank you with all my still beating heart.
Not sure where you are but I know Kokopelli. Are you Dine'? Do you live near Farmington? Would love to meet you so we could be 2 humans', talking, face to face. I know a thing or gazillion about pain. I will listen.
Thanks for sharing hun. I've made a number of attempts over the years, but now at 54 I thank the God's I survived. All we have is each and every minute, right here and now, to make the decision we're going to choose happiness and gratitude. Despite the past, despite what's happening in our lives, we have to choose to have faith and trust the process. You are here for a reason. All the absolute best mate. (Have you read "Desiderata")?
not sure how and where you are now but i hope you're doing alright
I don’t know you, but I am here for you. There is so much love in the world and so much love here for you
I was right there with you a few months ago. I hope you’re doing better now! 🥺🫶
I'm an old hip-hop head and ren I just came across your music and can't get enough ur diversity is mad crazy!!! Keep inspiring the youth that need it!!!