I'm turning 33 in May no kids and never married. Enjoy your singleness. Find yourself and find Christ. Once you do that you will have peace and contentment. Sooo glad I came to this place!!!! JESUS!!!
@@valenciachambers1982 I hear you. Sorry to hear that. I'm waiting on God, doing things his way. My way always failed. He knows my future and I have to trust him. I know where he has me and just enjoying me.
Don't date people who are still married. Wait atleast a year after the divorce is final. God would never give you someone else's husband or wife. Separated means nothing. He was using her as a rebound. That's sad.
I had a guy a few months back try to talk to me and then he said he was “separated” I said to him “oh, so you’re still married.” He was like “no, I’m separated.” I said to him “separated is still married.” Within 2 seconds he was blocked. Don’t ever let anyone manipulate you with the word “separated.” They may not live in the same house with their wife, but legally they are very much married.
And then after that still proceed with caution(if you decide to begin dating him) .. cause he still needs time to process and heal after the divorce or break up.
He telling the truth. Been married twice because I didn't know what I needed and wanted. I am 44 and single. The peace I feel is soooo amazing. I don't care nothing about a biological clock, just happy and enjoying getting to know me again.
Rule#1👉🏽Men don't burn down their bridges,☝🏽just in case they need to cross that path all over again. I learned it from my uncles! Ladies, Tony is telling ya'll absolutely the truth...
One of my older cousins gave me a full breakdown of how he managed to date 2 women at once...dividing his week, swapping bedsheets and photos, using terms of endearment rather than their name- nearly 18 months until he got board and tried to introduce a 3rd🙄..I still got caught out years later...listen AND heed Tony's words!
Sis, I've heard 3 RED FLAGS within the first 2 minutes. You were a rebound. Your boyfriend's orientation is QUESTIONABLE. I think HE IS GAY. He dropped you shortly after he got divorced...for a FRIENDSHIP WITH A MAN? And then, you gonna give him the OPTION to be YOUR FRIEND? Sis, STOP THIS MADNESS. RUN to your nearest therapist for COUNSELING.
Y’all call everybody gay that rejects a woman... I don’t feel he’s gay, she doesn’t even think so. He a classic case of bitch boy period.. like Tony stated she came out of this thing OK they don’t seem to have any assets together they don’t have any children together they don’t even live together. she’ll be heartbroken for sure but not gone beyond repair.... hopefully this will be a learning lesson for her and she makes a different decision next time.
@ysmithley, I agree... She's holding on to something that wasn't Real! She was the side. Chick while he was married... 1st mistake... 2nd mistake- 1 year and a year and seven months to long... 3rd mistake you thought he was going to marry you😥 4th mistake: holding on still... Get therapy quickly... Don't date for a few years... Invest in yourself... Love you! God loves you and will Never leave nor forsake you! Delete everything about him including Social Media along with his Associates... May God Bless you🙏🙏🙏
This is what happens when we don’t put God first. Men will always let us down. We are All flawed. Put your trust in God and that makes any pains easier to handle because we understand also how much we all need Him. Girl seek God first and he will heal you and guide you. We can’t make other humans our gods or source of peace; it will never end up well.
Because WE are manipulated by movies since WE are a little girl that if WE don't sleep with the guy, with the Guy WE won't get the Guy. It's internalized and normalized.
When Tony leans back in his chair, you already know he’s about to go innnnn on his response! Lol! My heart goes out to that Sister. Girl you can make it. God heals and will give you what you truly deserve. You are so valuable. ❤️
This been me lately not wasting no more time. I cut more men off last year than any year in my life & it ain't took longer than 2 days. The problem with us women we so use to the man moving on. We gotta take authority over our lives & be the one to say I'll pass.
So true once you raise your standards it’s so much easier to cut them off & leave them where you found them. Vibrate higher ladies, you are the prize !
How many men cherish prizes. They put them on a mandle untill they need it to show off. Calling yourself a prize from that stand point is not a compliment.
@@ysmithriley A dude that is into you is calling, texting etc., on a daily. If he isn’t calling it’s because he isn’t into you period. It’s about cutting off time wasters.
She needs to start going through the grieving process ASAP... The minute your BF starts acting funny, Nonchalant, not texting or calling that’s when you need to let him know ONCE that your beginning to see the shift and y’all need to discuss... In natural bitch boy fashion he will gas light you and say your tripping 🤷🏽♀️...., start grieving ladies, I’m telling you for him it’s over!!!
Me too. I’ve been there.. and just listening I just asked God for forgiveness again for me being I selfish to myself, and being with this man because I was trying to fill a void. Lord have mercy just thinking back on this I’m just like I don’t want to be in that situation again ever!! I have learned my lesson
A guy from my past is going through a divorce. He hit me up a couple of weeks ago trying to cling to my leg . I'm sooo glad that I eventually told him (kindly) that he actually needs a therapist, and blocked him!! The irony of seeing this video now is mind-blowing 🤯.
Good job. Don't date him until he can show you the divorce decree. And do a background check after. I'm being serious. (but being ud have to go through that, maybe it's not worth it!)
I dated one guy that was freshly divorced. Big mistake. And then I dated a guy who had been divorced for FIVE years. Also a big mistake. 90% of them have issues from divorce.
Baby, what do you need to see? What has you puzzled? Clearly, this person does not want to be with you ... show this man you love yourself and NEVA contact him again! He needed time to heal from his previous relationship and he never did.....I’m honestly not sure what kind of closure you’re looking for here sis....he’s shown you how he feels about you through his actions... Please don’t focus on him contacting you again or what his motives were...I pray for your healing and that God gives you the clarity you need💛🥰
Listen...Kamala Harris got married at 50 to her high-value husband. Prior to her run for president, he was a partner at the global law firm DLA Piper before stepping down. If you try to rush destiny, you may live to regret it (my current situation).
Sweetie! He is into men. (1) The gym is a cruising place for gay men. (2) He is coming out of the closet and is ghosting you. (3) You need to get out and go live your life.(4) You are NOT a priority for him. He does not want you (5)HE IS INTO MEN. Sweetie get therapy and move on in your life.
@@nessparadis6948 its a cruising place for gay men. The DLs met other men while working out and after the workout they go have sex somewhere. The DL goes back home.
The gay part doesn't make sense to me. Many ppl go to the gym after a breakup as a coping method from the breakup. I honestly think he found a new person to chill with.
@@Z_err go read my comment above. I am telling you what I know and seen. Play slow if you want to. But I am telling you from first hand experience. I have listened to the DL men talk to my guy friend in the gym. Plus I have watched men do it in the gyms I have been in.
Okay maybe I asked the wrong questions I am 65 year old female who is about her stuff but I want to say thank you to Mr. Gaskins because he is trying to tell the truth to women from a man's point of view but we as women need to listen. I wish he had been around 43 years ago when I was going through. Keep up the good work, Mr. Gaskins you have a listener for life. I'm about to get an I-phone lol
Ms Valorie, please know it is never too late. A lot of us much younger still struggled to get that wisdom. Keep going and living your life out loud filled with joy🧡🧡🧡🧡
He wants to continue to play the field. Let him & move on. She could be missing out on a much better man playing with this fool. You broke up with him to see if he cared. He doesn’t. A man is NOT going to let you go if he wants you.
Sis. I am sending hugs ur way. U are not broken beyond repair. Look up to Jesus.... Take it from me ... A woman who felt broken too after previous relationship. But Jesus is the Master healer and Mender of broken hearts. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Tony this is a great teaching video right here!! Maybe because I can relate to this sister??? I'm 43, never married. I've had those weeping cries over what I expected vs my reality. Most days I'm grateful and at peace. If you see this sis, I'm a coach. I'd love to chat with you. Blessings💕
There's still hope for us ladies in our 40s and up. I truly believe that. We just need to trust God position ourselves to meet someone and work on the 3Bs.
Never date a separated man... Sending light, love, hugs, and prayers to you. Gon' take a trip to Cabo and start enjoying your life. The right one will build you not stress you.
Sis forgive yourself and let go of worthless baggage by moving forward. Embrace ALL of your life experiences bad or good and ALWAYS understand you are already LOVED, It is within you, touch it feel it, You are still here. You will get through this and one day you will just SMILE, trust me
You may be going after unavailable men and that’s why the cycle feels like it keeps on repeating itself. It’s hard to hear but it’s quite common for women. Never ignore the red flags
I wish we could take back your 19 months. Sending you lots of strenght. There is nothing wrong with being single in your 40s. Next time you are ready to date, go with more confidence, with your eyes wide open for any red flags. Don’t make yourself too available either.
I just want to know what good did she expect to come out of that if she was willing "dating" a married man. Women have to learn to be RESPECTFUL of ones marriage idc if they are separated they're still married. And please don't @ me talking about he don't respect his marriage. That's the whole point, if he doesn't respect his marriage what makes you think he'll care for you or your feelings? Be willing to use all corners of your mind when dealing with a man. Blessing & healing 🙏🏾💫
Being 2 hours away ,he was still married and never divorced or separated, there is no gym, he didn’t even go to dmv those were things to say to to get out of communication just errand excuses. He is still married. Point blank perioood....his friend is his wife and he is at home with her. Be thru it that’s how I can say it , everything is a lie and excuse , but at the end of the day regardless of reasons he is not with u and that is enough to know he is not the one.This was a great message for me Tony Gaskins I love how u reiterated that life is still left to be lived in our 40s!!
First two sentences and my gut is saying BF and friend may be lovers. Therapy is very needed here. God bless you and may God give you strength in your healing
I agree with you. I'm on a deep introspection and realised that. Working on myself to really engage with people, so that I don't attract emotionally unavailable men anymore. God is great, for sending people like Tony just saves lives.
Sometimes their friends are a huge influence. He is pump up and looking good and now he has a running buddy. They are in the club every night. They both have gone wild with their freedom.
He could’ve taken all of her money too. She got off easy. She should take a trip out of the country and enjoy her freedom, Change her number, and keep it moving.
I feel her pain God help her heart. Big prayers, God is always with you. Breathe, pray and keep holding on to God. I know the pain take one day at a time.
Dear beautiful writer, you are not damaged you are blessed. All is not lost, get counseling and find peace in Christ. You are loved and worthy to be loved.
Girl next time this dude texts you.. your response should be you’re at the gym with your newly divorced friend.. Count your blessings and move on. Focus on valuing yourself and being okay no matter what your future holds. You have dodged a bullet here..
Am I the only one who giggles the whole time while Tony reading because in my head I’m already formulating his response & expressions 😅😆😩 He been on a roll lately 😆👏🏾
Thank you so much. I can avoid these hiccups by setting good standards. I eliminate many men just by having a couple of hours of conversation. I had one hiccup and don't want anymore.
This is the hardest thing we ladies have to learn in life "You have to know" before getting into a relationship. We cling on to the 'hope' something good will happen. Words of wisdom 🙏🏼
My heart goes out to this sister PLEASE wait on GOD 🙏 cry out to GOD 🙏 you desire a true Godly husband but first you have to make sure you are a true woman of God! God will do it have faith, The wait want be easy I am walking it as well, will not settle and Tony Gaskins has helped me in so many ways with teaching us women the dynamics of men. And of course "staying off our backs" lol. YOU deserve the best do it God's way it will be more than worth it. Blessings to you 🙏❤️
Hey Tony i really appreciate the way you broke the message down in this video. I'm currently working on the 3B's and couldn't be happier. Singleness is not curse.
Why so many people feel "tired" b/c they're not married yet. Man, enjoy your life. True love will come and then marriage may follow. Settling trying so hard to keep these men who obviously aren't worth it is nuts.....
I understand what the author of the letter is saying. I'm 40 and have a birthday coming next month. There are days where I feel like I'll be that lonely Auntie with 5 cats. But then I think about the things I want to accomplish and I know a relationship will complicate those goals. I don't like my singleness right now, but I know I'll appeciate later on
5 cats is better than living a fake happy married life. Where the husband is draining you and you have to look after a bunch of kids on your own. Listen, a lot of married women are sad and depressed. Being pumped daily, working long hours with husbands who secretly hate them. Don't let society deceive you with this fake euphoria of love they want you to believe. I hope you are planning an amazing birthday. Go on airbnb they have loads of experiences for you to choose from. Emjoy yourself. Spoil yourself and adore yourself. Life is sweet. Live it! 🧡🧡🧡
@@munix9351 I'm learning a lot from my mother & my aunts on what they go through. And I'm planning a great birthday weekend for myself. Thanks for the knowledge👑
Live out your purpose sis and love yourself daily!!!!’...singleness is everything...I remember the actress Jenifer Lewis once said “ love yourself so that love will not be a stranger when it comes”...I live by this saying because if applied you will never lose yourself in man never...you hold the power Queen keep listening to Tony and continue to be a servant to the most High you won’t regret it...Blessings 😇
That man has met someone else. She needs to count her loses and move on. He is done it sounds like. This is sad but it happens all the time and no matter the age you are.
That's the FIRST thing. There is rarely a time when you can get involved with a "separated", which is married, man and have things work out like a dream come true. They are almost always nightmares.
@@lizzie2301 I had to learn it the hard way (years ago). I didn't know he was married at first. I thought he was already divorced. Like I said, I learned the hard way.
@A BCD true. Or he might've even told her that he was already divorced when he first met her. That's what happened to me. I thought he was divorced and found out later that he was still married. I should've run 🏃♂️ but I didn't bc HE said it was over. Was not true at all. 🤦🏿♀️ We live and we learn.
You are giving free dating advice! Not everybody pays attention to the red flags. You keep doing what you do under the Anointing! God bless you and your family! 🌞✝️
I’m standing in solidarity with you and sending some love and prayers your way. 1 . Never define your worth by a relationship status 2. Stop comparing yourself to others who are married or were married 3. Guard your ears and heart from any triggers right now 4. Invest in your healing, self love and self care , journaling might help and this is only the start but delay is danger so just start right now. You will make it just never give up on yourself . Tell yourself that you are in the process of renewal and your and not tired. Pray for a renewed mind and a changed mindset.
Wow! This is so sad. She has lost her faith in men, she's damaged Beyond repair, and is even considering medication, Etc... Oh my gosh is this what it is coming to when dealing with the male species. I've even heard some women around me who feel this way when it comes to men that they are tired of dealing with them. What is this Society coming to?
We're dealing with GROWN BOYS instead of men. Which is messed up cause theres a lot of them out here playing with GROWN MATURE WOMEN perpetrating to be a GROWN MATURE MAN when he isnt. Should she have seen some of the red flags? Yes, but he could have and should have, been man enough and mature enough at his age to break it off when he knew it wasnt going to work for whatever reason. She just put her trust, faith, and belief in the wrong man. Been in a similar situation recently. Then people wonder why women have emotional baggage....because she once loved, put trust, and believed in an immature dog ass man like him. We weren't ALWAYS this way....
This is what it’s really coming to . A guy messed me up so bad I’m on (Mirtazapine) depression and anxiety tablets and been in therapy for two months. I’m never getting in a relationship again I really can’t stomach another heartbreak, the next time the ambulance would have to come and collect me .
Baby, y'all were broken up a long time ahead of him coming to the town and not stopping by. Sometimes we want verbal confirmation b/c we're hurting, I know the feeling, but you have to make the decision. Shouldn't have saw him or text him back ever again. Let that man be on his way. The worst is not "hearing from him again", he is NOT coming back. Hurts yes but press on love. Something incredible will come to you.
They ALWAYS come back!..if you let him!💯 Or at least they will try. Keep on 'bout ya business,.. be happy and do you. Be free. You are blessed and in the right place Love.
Sister you are not broken!!! Ladies always, always follow your "INTUITIONS". No one is too busy to do things that they really want to do EVER. Tony the friend is a "man" .
Someone to help him get through that divorce. Once the divorce was finalized, he probably assumes you'll start bringing up the subject of marriage, so he's pushing back from her
I'm so sad about your situation sis but you are worth so much more. You need to see your worth and vibrate higher. Also that stretch before he spoke was everything!
This is why you should NEVER date married men! Separated, living apart, or going through a divorce....He's still married! Yes, you are transitional chick, a place holder, etc.. Value yourself and our black family structure by never dating a married man. It only leads to personal and community heart break. Besides...you deserve more!
Women should not give sex before marriage if they want to keep the man.There is a good Ted Talk explaining the chemistry of this. The Bible does know what it is talking about.
This was so good!!! If you listen to her story there were so many points in her story that Tony has talked about not to do in so many video's. I'm part of the Blessed Tribe. It cost 1.99 a month. If we can't give this man anything else we should all be able to give him 24.00 a year for this pure Love that he gives us. Fyi I don't know Tony at all but what I do know is that this message was straight from God and it will save your life. This woman sounds so defeated and tired but she really could have avoided this situation just by receiving the knowledge he has taught in his video's. God bless her!! Ms. once you get the knowledge to combat this wrong and level yourself all the way up you will just go the other way.
I don't know why people are saying this man is gay. He might not be. He just don't want her. Point blank! That's the only reason any of us should need to know. See and acknowledge the red flags and don't be afraid to walk away. I pray God helps this sister get through and realize her worth and know that there's better out there for her. God bless you Tony for all your advice.
Prayers for strength and peace be upon you my dear, & shame on him for the deception, he's on the DL....... God did you a favor, in time you will heal, it'll be challenging but God has you.
Tony, I just fell in love with you, it’s ok, I already let my husband know, and he is alright with it! 😀 I mean no disrespect to your Queen 👸 either! Why do I love you? Because, you brought it Raw to this sister. I was like “Tony you being harsh and hard on her”. (even though I understood why you had to go in like that) BUT THEN....you turn around and show her some brotherly love, and built her up and spoke life to her wounds and heart. You don’t even know this woman. But, you spoke healing and blooming hope into her life. See this is why you are blessed as is your family and household. Thank you for being obedient to God and your purpose. Blessings to you and your lovely Family🌸 To You Sister, Love yourself...Love God#1....Then #2 Love yourself! You have worth period and you matter, I’m sending you a hug 🤗 Be Blessed🌹
This letter sounds eerily close to my ex. So many similarities right down to the scenarios and his age. I wouldn’t be surprised. Sis, much love to you! A lot of of women have been there one time or another, but like Tony said, take this as a lesson learned and peep game going forward. 💜
I'm turning 33 in May no kids and never married. Enjoy your singleness. Find yourself and find Christ. Once you do that you will have peace and contentment. Sooo glad I came to this place!!!! JESUS!!!
Precious Ruby sweetie take ur time I'm 32 going through a divorce no kids too enjoy
@@valenciachambers1982 I hear you. Sorry to hear that. I'm waiting on God, doing things his way. My way always failed. He knows my future and I have to trust him. I know where he has me and just enjoying me.
b blessed
Same here, 33 and happy. Trust your own timeline!
@@bodiendominique400 Amen! God doesn't look at time the way man does. We just have to be patient, trust him, and have faith.
Don't date people who are still married. Wait atleast a year after the divorce is final. God would never give you someone else's husband or wife. Separated means nothing. He was using her as a rebound. That's sad.
Absolutely correct!!
My thoughts exactly!
This is spot on!!!
Right she was dating a married man because of desperation smh
Facts! I wouldn’t even date him a year after it’s finalized. These men who have been married before be the worst ones
I had a guy a few months back try to talk to me and then he said he was “separated” I said to him “oh, so you’re still married.” He was like “no, I’m separated.” I said to him “separated is still married.” Within 2 seconds he was blocked. Don’t ever let anyone manipulate you with the word “separated.” They may not live in the same house with their wife, but legally they are very much married.
Yup!
And then after that still proceed with caution(if you decide to begin dating him) .. cause he still needs time to process and heal after the divorce or break up.
@@IshanaeS 1000% facts 👌🏾🙌🏾
Exactly.
Amen 🙏🏽
He telling the truth. Been married twice because I didn't know what I needed and wanted. I am 44 and single. The peace I feel is soooo amazing. I don't care nothing about a biological clock, just happy and enjoying getting to know me again.
Great for you sis keep it going 😇😇😇
Rule#1👉🏽Men don't burn down their bridges,☝🏽just in case they need to cross that path all over again. I learned it from my uncles! Ladies, Tony is telling ya'll absolutely the truth...
👏👏👏
This is facts! They absolutely will keep that door open because they know the likelihood Of them crossing that bridge again if highly possible.
Right
Oookkkkuuuurrrrtttt
One of my older cousins gave me a full breakdown of how he managed to date 2 women at once...dividing his week, swapping bedsheets and photos, using terms of endearment rather than their name- nearly 18 months until he got board and tried to introduce a 3rd🙄..I still got caught out years later...listen AND heed Tony's words!
Sis, I've heard 3 RED FLAGS within the first 2 minutes. You were a rebound. Your boyfriend's orientation is QUESTIONABLE. I think HE IS GAY. He dropped you shortly after he got divorced...for a FRIENDSHIP WITH A MAN? And then, you gonna give him the OPTION to be YOUR FRIEND? Sis, STOP THIS MADNESS. RUN to your nearest therapist for COUNSELING.
Yes, I agree. Gay or not.. he wasn't hers to have in the first place. He wasn't divorced.. why entertain someone who isn't free from soulties..🤦♀️
All of this!!!!
Y’all call everybody gay that rejects a woman... I don’t feel he’s gay, she doesn’t even think so. He a classic case of bitch boy period.. like Tony stated she came out of this thing OK they don’t seem to have any assets together they don’t have any children together they don’t even live together. she’ll be heartbroken for sure but not gone beyond repair.... hopefully this will be a learning lesson for her and she makes a different decision next time.
Exactly
@ysmithley, I agree... She's holding on to something that wasn't Real! She was the side. Chick while he was married... 1st mistake... 2nd mistake- 1 year and a year and seven months to long... 3rd mistake you thought he was going to marry you😥 4th mistake: holding on still... Get therapy quickly... Don't date for a few years... Invest in yourself... Love you! God loves you and will Never leave nor forsake you! Delete everything about him including Social Media along with his Associates... May God Bless you🙏🙏🙏
This is what happens when we don’t put God first. Men will always let us down. We are All flawed. Put your trust in God and that makes any pains easier to handle because we understand also how much we all need Him. Girl seek God first and he will heal you and guide you. We can’t make other humans our gods or source of peace; it will never end up well.
So true
Amen Sis!
Amen sister!!
When women are dealing with situations like this their gut knows what to do but what they're really asking is how to get the guy to come back to her 😩
Gurl, this is the truth!!!
Because WE are manipulated by movies since WE are a little girl that if WE don't sleep with the guy, with the Guy WE won't get the Guy. It's internalized and normalized.
Right..women need to leave it alone and move on. At 42 that man will never change. There's a reason why he's getting a divorce.
When Tony leans back in his chair, you already know he’s about to go innnnn on his response! Lol!
My heart goes out to that Sister. Girl you can make it. God heals and will give you what you truly deserve. You are so valuable. ❤️
I just have one thing to say to all the ladies. NEVER NEVER EVER EVER CHASE A MAN. POINT.BLANK.PERIOD.
Right
This been me lately not wasting no more time. I cut more men off last year than any year in my life & it ain't took longer than 2 days. The problem with us women we so use to the man moving on. We gotta take authority over our lives & be the one to say I'll pass.
Facts 💯
Yes
Amen 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Yes 🙌🏽
So true once you raise your standards it’s so much easier to cut them off & leave them where you found them. Vibrate higher ladies, you are the prize !
How many men cherish prizes. They put them on a mandle untill they need it to show off. Calling yourself a prize from that stand point is not a compliment.
If a man doesn’t call me in 24hrs it’s over.
Like ion know what part of that they aren’t getting 💅🏾
Exactly sis, ain't nobody on that kinda time. A strong 💪 cut-off game is a must to weed out the clowns, preserve your energy, and live your best life!
Yes!
@Lil Pink Bubbles No call within 24 hours? What you gonna do? Get a bunch of cats 😻 to live with? LMAO! 🤣
@@ysmithriley A dude that is into you is calling, texting etc., on a daily. If he isn’t calling it’s because he isn’t into you period. It’s about cutting off time wasters.
My heart completely goes out to this sister. I felt her through her words. Huge amount of love going out to her!
She needs to start going through the grieving process ASAP... The minute your BF starts acting funny, Nonchalant, not texting or calling that’s when you need to let him know ONCE that your beginning to see the shift and y’all need to discuss... In natural bitch boy fashion he will gas light you and say your tripping 🤷🏽♀️...., start grieving ladies, I’m telling you for him it’s over!!!
@@ayana188 I agree.
Yeah I agree. I totally can relate
Me too. I’ve been there.. and just listening I just asked God for forgiveness again for me being I selfish to myself, and being with this man because I was trying to fill a void. Lord have mercy just thinking back on this I’m just like I don’t want to be in that situation again ever!! I have learned my lesson
I remember the pain was so bad I wanted to take my life.... but GOD!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
A guy from my past is going through a divorce. He hit me up a couple of weeks ago trying to cling to my leg . I'm sooo glad that I eventually told him (kindly) that he actually needs a therapist, and blocked him!! The irony of seeing this video now is mind-blowing 🤯.
He is of no benefit to u
“...climb up my leg” 😂 that saying is new to me! I’m SOO using this going forward!!
Good job. Don't date him until he can show you the divorce decree. And do a background check after. I'm being serious. (but being ud have to go through that, maybe it's not worth it!)
@@amandarecoveryjones8216 I can wait for someone else! I'm ok with that 😂🥴
You did right...never date a man from your past especially if he’s divorced...people come back with a vengeance especially hurt men
I believe he's gay. His friend just moved back to town and got divorced. That part right there. Don't skip that part.
Guuurrrlll, that's what I was thinking. 😒
He's definitely gay
Same exact thing I thought. He's possible embarrassed to admit it or like Tony said not man enough to be truthful.
First thing I thought
I was thinking that too but men like to convince their friends to go hoeing with them 🤣
He's gaslighting her and he is gay. Sis, I will keep you in my prayers 🙏🏽
Yep, he’s gay
Ladies that block hand gotta be strong 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
AMEN!
😂🤣
Gigi brown exactly!
You not lying Im quick with it🤣
Yesssss
Sus he's going through a divorce DO NOT proceed!!! Run!!!
I dated one guy that was freshly divorced. Big mistake. And then I dated a guy who had been divorced for FIVE years. Also a big mistake. 90% of them have issues from divorce.
Amen!
Baby, what do you need to see? What has you puzzled? Clearly, this person does not want to be with you ... show this man you love yourself and NEVA contact him again! He needed time to heal from his previous relationship and he never did.....I’m honestly not sure what kind of closure you’re looking for here sis....he’s shown you how he feels about you through his actions... Please don’t focus on him contacting you again or what his motives were...I pray for your healing and that God gives you the clarity you need💛🥰
💯
49 and never been married!
And still not settling!
50 and the same
🙌🏽
Listen...Kamala Harris got married at 50 to her high-value husband. Prior to her run for president, he was a partner at the global law firm DLA Piper before stepping down. If you try to rush destiny, you may live to regret it (my current situation).
*Madame Vice President Kamala Harris that is! 🙌🏾
43 and the same!!
Sweetie! He is into men. (1) The gym is a cruising place for gay men. (2) He is coming out of the closet and is ghosting you. (3) You need to get out and go live your life.(4) You are NOT a priority for him. He does not want you (5)HE IS INTO MEN.
Sweetie get therapy and move on in your life.
What do you mean by point 1?
@@nessparadis6948 its a cruising place for gay men. The DLs met other men while working out and after the workout they go have sex somewhere. The DL goes back home.
@@nessparadis6948 I know this because I have seen it with my own eyes plus my friend is a gym rat.
The gay part doesn't make sense to me. Many ppl go to the gym after a breakup as a coping method from the breakup. I honestly think he found a new person to chill with.
@@Z_err go read my comment above. I am telling you what I know and seen. Play slow if you want to. But I am telling you from first hand experience. I have listened to the DL men talk to my guy friend in the gym. Plus I have watched men do it in the gyms I have been in.
The divorced husband's club! That's great! Sounds like the grown boys club!
It sounds like the "down low" gay club.
LMBOOOOOO.
Yes
What a clear analysis - to hear a man's perspective on another man's behavior.
Okay maybe I asked the wrong questions I am 65 year old female who is about her stuff but I want to say thank you to Mr. Gaskins because he is trying to tell the truth to women from a man's point of view but we as women need to listen. I wish he had been around 43 years ago when I was going through. Keep up the good work, Mr. Gaskins you have a listener for life. I'm about to get an I-phone lol
Kev
@@cherryblossom9226 please excuse my ignorance but does "Kev" mean something or was that was a mistake?
Ms Valorie, please know it is never too late. A lot of us much younger still struggled to get that wisdom. Keep going and living your life out loud filled with joy🧡🧡🧡🧡
You look great... 👍😁
Now when a man want my number and we start talking and he is inconsistent in my head I be like “Got To Go” 🤣🤣... Then I block the number lol
🤣same,,going about my bisnis
@@snezanavanhoutte3283 Exactly 🤣
Same, my block game strong 💪🏾
He wants to continue to play the field. Let him & move on. She could be missing out on a much better man playing with this fool. You broke up with him to see if he cared. He doesn’t. A man is NOT going to let you go if he wants you.
👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
Well said
Preach on YellowRose7
🙌
Right
Sis.
I am sending hugs ur way. U are not broken beyond repair. Look up to Jesus.... Take it from me ... A woman who felt broken too after previous relationship.
But Jesus is the Master healer and Mender of broken hearts.
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Amen SIS!
Amen!🙌🏼❤️
Tony this is a great teaching video right here!!
Maybe because I can relate to this sister???
I'm 43, never married.
I've had those weeping cries over what I expected vs my reality.
Most days I'm grateful and at peace.
If you see this sis, I'm a coach. I'd love to chat with you.
Blessings💕
🤗
Love
There's still hope for us ladies in our 40s and up. I truly believe that. We just need to trust God position ourselves to meet someone and work on the 3Bs.
@@ayanareid7031 I stand in agreement. Thank you🤍
@@TopHat_VR828 💜
Never date a separated man... Sending light, love, hugs, and prayers to you. Gon' take a trip to Cabo and start enjoying your life. The right one will build you not stress you.
Sis forgive yourself and let go of worthless baggage by moving forward. Embrace ALL of your life experiences bad or good and ALWAYS understand you are already LOVED, It is within you, touch it feel it, You are still here. You will get through this and one day you will just SMILE, trust me
You may be going after unavailable men and that’s why the cycle feels like it keeps on repeating itself. It’s hard to hear but it’s quite common for women. Never ignore the red flags
Sounds like him and his friend is together.. Im praying for the female species. Why we let men play us like this??? 😓
I wish we could take back your 19 months. Sending you lots of strenght.
There is nothing wrong with being single in your 40s. Next time you are ready to date, go with more confidence, with your eyes wide open for any red flags. Don’t make yourself too available either.
You should never regret anything in Life, if it's good, it's wonderful, if it’s bad, it’s experience.
I just want to know what good did she expect to come out of that if she was willing "dating" a married man. Women have to learn to be RESPECTFUL of ones marriage idc if they are separated they're still married. And please don't @ me talking about he don't respect his marriage. That's the whole point, if he doesn't respect his marriage what makes you think he'll care for you or your feelings? Be willing to use all corners of your mind when dealing with a man. Blessing & healing 🙏🏾💫
Let the church say Amen!!
That last sentence though💪🏿👌🏾👌🏾
@A Raymond women are amazing we deserve nothing but the best!
@@lolaw5090 Amen! 🙏🏾
@@reinaquisha9418 💯
Embrace your singleness.
hell yea
Yes M’am🙌🏽
Being 2 hours away ,he was still married and never divorced or separated, there is no gym, he didn’t even go to dmv those were things to say to to get out of communication just errand excuses. He is still married. Point blank perioood....his friend is his wife and he is at home with her. Be thru it that’s how I can say it , everything is a lie and excuse , but at the end of the day regardless of reasons he is not with u and that is enough to know he is not the one.This was a great message for me Tony Gaskins I love how u reiterated that life is still left to be lived in our 40s!!
Bingo he still with his wife
First two sentences and my gut is saying BF and friend may be lovers. Therapy is very needed here. God bless you and may God give you strength in your healing
Stop setting your self up!!! You know that he is unstable ... yet, you still want him. Want better for yourself!!
Exactly.
The end of the letter really brought tears to my eyes. God please cover her 😔💓
Mine too😢
If we get into a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man we are emotionally unavailable as well. I feel for her.
Deep!
I agree with you. I'm on a deep introspection and realised that. Working on myself to really engage with people, so that I don't attract emotionally unavailable men anymore. God is great, for sending people like Tony just saves lives.
Sometimes their friends are a huge influence. He is pump up and looking good and now he has a running buddy. They are in the club every night. They both have gone wild with their freedom.
Agree
I agree but it's up to them to be influenced
He could’ve taken all of her money too. She got off easy. She should take a trip out of the country and enjoy her freedom, Change her number, and keep it moving.
perfect advice.
🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿💖
I feel her pain God help her heart. Big prayers, God is always with you. Breathe, pray and keep holding on to God. I know the pain take one day at a time.
Dude tryna move around. Help him move Sis. Move right on up outta your life!!
As women we get our warnings signs at the beginning, we continue to deal with men in hopes that things will change and things gets worser.
True
Dear beautiful writer, you are not damaged you are blessed. All is not lost, get counseling and find peace in Christ. You are loved and worthy to be loved.
Girl next time this dude texts you.. your response should be you’re at the gym with your newly divorced friend.. Count your blessings and move on. Focus on valuing yourself and being okay no matter what your future holds. You have dodged a bullet here..
A huge one!!!!
Am I the only one who giggles the whole time while Tony reading because in my head I’m already formulating his response & expressions 😅😆😩 He been on a roll lately 😆👏🏾
Facts!!! Have to have standards and boundaries prior to getting involved with any man.. I appreciate your transparency Tony!!!
Thank you so much. I can avoid these hiccups by setting good standards. I eliminate many men just by having a couple of hours of conversation. I had one hiccup and don't want anymore.
The first time we feel something is wrong ladies! Something is wrong ......
This is the hardest thing we ladies have to learn in life
"You have to know" before getting into a relationship.
We cling on to the 'hope' something good will happen.
Words of wisdom 🙏🏼
My heart goes out to this sister PLEASE wait on GOD 🙏 cry out to GOD 🙏 you desire a true Godly husband but first you have to make sure you are a true woman of God! God will do it have faith, The wait want be easy I am walking it as well, will not settle and Tony Gaskins has helped me in so many ways with teaching us women the dynamics of men. And of course "staying off our backs" lol. YOU deserve the best do it God's way it will be more than worth it. Blessings to you 🙏❤️
Hey Tony i really appreciate the way you broke the message down in this video. I'm currently working on the 3B's and couldn't be happier. Singleness is not curse.
What are the 3 b's again please?
Amen Sis.!
Brains Body Brand
Why so many people feel "tired" b/c they're not married yet. Man, enjoy your life. True love will come and then marriage may follow. Settling trying so hard to keep these men who obviously aren't worth it is nuts.....
I understand what the author of the letter is saying. I'm 40 and have a birthday coming next month. There are days where I feel like I'll be that lonely Auntie with 5 cats. But then I think about the things I want to accomplish and I know a relationship will complicate those goals. I don't like my singleness right now, but I know I'll appeciate later on
5 cats is better than living a fake happy married life. Where the husband is draining you and you have to look after a bunch of kids on your own.
Listen, a lot of married women are sad and depressed. Being pumped daily, working long hours with husbands who secretly hate them. Don't let society deceive you with this fake euphoria of love they want you to believe.
I hope you are planning an amazing birthday. Go on airbnb they have loads of experiences for you to choose from. Emjoy yourself. Spoil yourself and adore yourself.
Life is sweet. Live it! 🧡🧡🧡
@@munix9351
Your 2nd paragraph is totally true, learnt my lesson the hard way. ❤️🙏🏼
Real talk
@@munix9351 I'm learning a lot from my mother & my aunts on what they go through. And I'm planning a great birthday weekend for myself. Thanks for the knowledge👑
Live out your purpose sis and love yourself daily!!!!’...singleness is everything...I remember the actress Jenifer Lewis once said “ love yourself so that love will not be a stranger when it comes”...I live by this saying because if applied you will never lose yourself in man never...you hold the power Queen keep listening to Tony and continue to be a servant to the most High you won’t regret it...Blessings 😇
This one made me so sad to hear. 😢
😭
That man has met someone else. She needs to count her loses and move on. He is done it sounds like. This is sad but it happens all the time and no matter the age you are.
She shouldn’t have gotten involved with a “separated” man. She was the rebound. Also the relationship with that “friend” sounds suspect.
That's the FIRST thing. There is rarely a time when you can get involved with a "separated", which is married, man and have things work out like a dream come true. They are almost always nightmares.
@@blacksongbird100 exactly I avoid divorced men like the plague, so separated men are basically invisible to me 🙅🏾♀️
@@lizzie2301 I had to learn it the hard way (years ago). I didn't know he was married at first. I thought he was already divorced. Like I said, I learned the hard way.
Exactly... women keep falling for this nonsense, thinking they are going to be the exception..
@A BCD true. Or he might've even told her that he was already divorced when he first met her. That's what happened to me. I thought he was divorced and found out later that he was still married. I should've run 🏃♂️ but I didn't bc HE said it was over. Was not true at all. 🤦🏿♀️ We live and we learn.
You are giving free dating advice! Not everybody pays attention to the red flags. You keep doing what you do under the Anointing! God bless you and your family! 🌞✝️
Me as Tony acts out the scenario between the life coach and client: 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀_____________
🤣🤣🤣
It was the go with the flow STD apart for me 😭😭😭😂
@@IshanaeS 😩😩😩
I’m standing in solidarity with you and sending some love and prayers your way. 1 . Never define your worth by a relationship status 2. Stop comparing yourself to others who are married or were married 3. Guard your ears and heart from any triggers right now 4. Invest in your healing, self love and self care , journaling might help and this is only the start but delay is danger so just start right now. You will make it just never give up on yourself . Tell yourself that you are in the process of renewal and your and not tired. Pray for a renewed mind and a changed mindset.
Be obedient and abide in His Word. He WILL redeem it all.
My heart weeps for her but God does NOT send you a married man. Sis you're in my prayers. 🙏
“What are your pain points that have not been healed?”
Wow! This is so sad. She has lost her faith in men, she's damaged Beyond repair, and is even considering medication, Etc... Oh my gosh is this what it is coming to when dealing with the male species. I've even heard some women around me who feel this way when it comes to men that they are tired of dealing with them. What is this Society coming to?
It’s a sad state of affairs😔
We're dealing with GROWN BOYS instead of men. Which is messed up cause theres a lot of them out here playing with GROWN MATURE WOMEN perpetrating to be a GROWN MATURE MAN when he isnt. Should she have seen some of the red flags? Yes, but he could have and should have, been man enough and mature enough at his age to break it off when he knew it wasnt going to work for whatever reason. She just put her trust, faith, and belief in the wrong man. Been in a similar situation recently. Then people wonder why women have emotional baggage....because she once loved, put trust, and believed in an immature dog ass man like him. We weren't ALWAYS this way....
Ent it sadd
We are in End times mens are lovers of themselves.
This is what it’s really coming to . A guy messed me up so bad I’m on (Mirtazapine) depression and anxiety tablets and been in therapy for two months. I’m never getting in a relationship again I really can’t stomach another heartbreak, the next time the ambulance would have to come and collect me .
Baby, y'all were broken up a long time ahead of him coming to the town and not stopping by. Sometimes we want verbal confirmation b/c we're hurting, I know the feeling, but you have to make the decision. Shouldn't have saw him or text him back ever again. Let that man be on his way. The worst is not "hearing from him again", he is NOT coming back. Hurts yes but press on love. Something incredible will come to you.
They ALWAYS come back!..if you let him!💯 Or at least they will try.
Keep on 'bout ya business,..
be happy and do you. Be free. You are blessed and in the right place Love.
I think this goes for long term relationships too. If he is fresh out of a long term relationship the same rules can apply
Either the friend is a woman...or him and his homeboy be runnin thru chicks together......🤷🏾♀️
He doesn't care. He never did.
Sister you are not broken!!! Ladies always, always follow your "INTUITIONS". No one is too busy to do things that they really want to do EVER. Tony the friend is a "man" .
Jesus touch her Lord🙌🏽🙌🏽
Awe sis this breaks my heart! Praying for your strength!
He doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now.
Nope
With her lol
Someone to help him get through that divorce. Once the divorce was finalized, he probably assumes you'll start bringing up the subject of marriage, so he's pushing back from her
I'm so sad about your situation sis but you are worth so much more. You need to see your worth and vibrate higher. Also that stretch before he spoke was everything!
😂😂😂 Tony the Grown Boys are also in their 50s, 60s and 70s!!!
I felt this Im 42 and feel discouraged from dating this was encouraging
This is why you should NEVER date married men! Separated, living apart, or going through a divorce....He's still married! Yes, you are transitional chick, a place holder, etc.. Value yourself and our black family structure by never dating a married man. It only leads to personal and community heart break. Besides...you deserve more!
Powerful! Community heartbreak, I’ve never heard of that.
Oh, this hurts
😢
Before she said his age I honestly thought that he was in his 20s the way he was acting
Women should not give sex before marriage if they want to keep the man.There is a good Ted Talk explaining the chemistry of this. The Bible does know what it is talking about.
This was so good!!! If you listen to her story there were so many points in her story that Tony has talked about not to do in so many video's. I'm part of the Blessed Tribe. It cost 1.99 a month. If we can't give this man anything else we should all be able to give him 24.00 a year for this pure Love that he gives us. Fyi I don't know Tony at all but what I do know is that this message was straight from God and it will save your life. This woman sounds so defeated and tired but she really could have avoided this situation just by receiving the knowledge he has taught in his video's. God bless her!! Ms. once you get the knowledge to combat this wrong and level yourself all the way up you will just go the other way.
Lawd, that letter got T back hurting. Hang in there T. You are the 🔌!
I don't know why people are saying this man is gay. He might not be. He just don't want her. Point blank! That's the only reason any of us should need to know. See and acknowledge the red flags and don't be afraid to walk away. I pray God helps this sister get through and realize her worth and know that there's better out there for her. God bless you Tony for all your advice.
Wow, this was game. Serious Level 100 type of game.
Prayers for strength and peace be upon you my dear, & shame on him for the deception, he's on the DL....... God did you a favor, in time you will heal, it'll be challenging but God has you.
He’s gay
“Test dummy” comment = OUCH
That hurt me and its not my situation.
Right!!!!...that rips!!!!
Painful but true! I have stopped being a test dummy 3 years ago, and I feel so alive and at peace. Tony is a blessing for all of us.
So good 👏🏾. We pay a price when we don’t follow the procedures.
Those who don’t “feel like” talking about their relationship issues KNOW the answer. Accept the truth you already know.
Tony, I just fell in love with you, it’s ok, I already let my husband know, and he is alright with it! 😀 I mean no disrespect to your Queen 👸 either! Why do I love you?
Because, you brought it Raw to this sister. I was like “Tony you being harsh and hard on her”. (even though I understood why you had to go in like that) BUT THEN....you turn around and show her some brotherly love, and built her up and spoke life to her wounds and heart. You don’t even know this woman. But, you spoke healing and blooming hope into her life. See this is why you are blessed as is your family and household. Thank you for being obedient to God and your purpose. Blessings to you and your lovely Family🌸 To You Sister, Love yourself...Love God#1....Then #2 Love yourself! You have worth period and you matter, I’m sending you a hug 🤗 Be Blessed🌹
GOT TAH GOOOO! 💨💨💨💨
This letter sounds eerily close to my ex. So many similarities right down to the scenarios and his age. I wouldn’t be surprised. Sis, much love to you! A lot of of women have been there one time or another, but like Tony said, take this as a lesson learned and peep game going forward. 💜
Poor thing. I hope she heals and learn who she is in God. I hope she keeps watching your videos.
Tony, applause and a standing ovation to you. All the “Got to go!” mentioned are working in 2021. Be blessed.
So soothing Tony. Thank you on her behalf for being exhausted and speaking so soothingly to her.
Girl......he's a boy in a man's body. Walk on by, you deserve so much more. Love yourself wholeheartedly 💕