Saying the truth works like magic for me. I'm extremely agreeable and thus was pushed around by my closest people which was very damaging. Saying the truth has been changing the dynamic of every relationship I engage in. Before, I used to try to be more disagreeable but it made me an actor which was not sustainable. Believe in the fact that the truth will lead you to the best position. It is miraculous.
Speaking the truth will inevitably make you appear rude. You don't have to act as if you're a different person. You don't have to think about how rude you want to appear. This is so convenient.
shit I'm a male, I'm very agreeable, and it makes my life so much harder. and after I actually tried to stand my ground sometimes, I rethink about this moment, it stays in my mind, and somehow I feel guilty, I don't feel well about what i did, even though when I think rationally, I know that it's what I had to do
I go through the same thing. My stomach starts to hurt when I say no. I found out that it's linked to childhood. My mother making me feel guilty for not doing what she wants. Whether she had ill intentions or not, it does not matter. For right now, it is my responsibility. There are ways to free yourself from negative emotions. I hope you the best on your healing journey 🙏🏼 you are not alone
sssaaaame - one time I rode my bike, some idiot standing on the road in front of me - I shouted at him and was totally in the right doing that - tho I still think about this situation and hope I didn´t hurt his feelings...
Never feel bad about it! Standing up for yourself is self love! You have to look out for yourself. Just keep on doing it over and over and over until I becomes second nature!
@@mawadda1492 saying no is saying yes to yourself remember. If your so kind to other why not be kind to yourself and value your own wants and desires. Think of it like you are defending the inner child in you! Saying no to them is saying yes to yourself. Do no accept any type of behavior you do not want! No is liberating! Like jung said. To become who you truly are is a privilege of a lifetime! Free yourself
reflect and know your reasons for disagreement. If you still feel bad after that, either your perspective is still skewed, or you really were too disagreeable. It isn't always easy to distinguish rightful disagreement from dogmatic opposition - in yourself and in others. The key is clear and consequential communication with yourself and the other.
I am getting my job lost because of being to agreable. I work as a carer. And I was too nice. So nice that in the health care system, I did not correct my coworkers when they did something wrong. And after I started to be low in agreableness, all my coworkers did not wanted to accept it. So nobody wanted to work with me. After that, I am struggleing now that I might loose my job.
Good luck! I hope things turned around for you. If it's of any assistance, the loop hole is that it's a lot easier to bargain and fight on behalf of another person than to fight for yourself. Adjust your perspective to see that you're doing something for those who have been wronged by your co-workers actions
Can you actually say what "something wrong" your coworkers did? The sentence feels pretentious. Usually when people don't want to work with someone, it's because the dude is an asshole.
Summarized my life after I came back from military. I got a job for security at a night club, and I always tried to solve things on lighter terms 'cause I didn't want to hurt people anymore, but lesson learnt, now I 'm going back to my old self, it seems it is what they wanted from me anyways.
People say he's 100% right and it's Soo very true. This is my life, my career outcomes, my ability to be taken advantage of and I resent it to the point it crushes me. I don't know how to change I can see the problem and struggle to not be agreeable. Jordan has definitely helped me on shining a light on what it actually is and I'm optimistic with that knowledge I can be able to formulate change. Thankyou Jordan
I looked this video up because I'm a guy who tends to, in some scenarios, be way too agreeable. I've been taken advantage of because I don't like confrontation, awkward moments, and I want to be a "nice guy." My wife is probably the most disagreeable person I've ever met. It's almost pathological. We can plan to do the most simple things and she has to find a way to micromanage it to fit her specific protocols and she makes simple things way too complicated and pricey and we end up doing things her way, no matter what I feel about it And the second you get in her way, you feel her wrath. I've come a long, long way and am far more assertive, but if I try to match her in her assertiveness, I can't imagine what would happen. All of the crazy shit in her past makes so much more sense to me now that we are married. I just don't want a nuclear bomb to go off.
@@maximyles a month after I posted this we separated. My wife then filed a bogus restraining order against me and kept my daughter from me for two and a half months until the restraining order was dismissed and the judge made custody orders. It was further confirmation that I made the right decision in separating with this toxic and vicious woman.
@@davidr1620 i am happy for you. i've been in similar situations, although never married. Times like this are the best time to grow, the world is cold, lookout for yourself, get stronger to combat it.
I’m happy for you man. Maybe it’s off topic, but you never wanna marry a person whose history is far complicated than your controlling level. According to your description, your ex-wife sounds like a controlling freak and super narcissist. Believe it or not, This type of women can be manipulated too, but not by you. They will be manipulated by Alpha man, who actually treats her like shit but they love it.
It’s better that you’re in control. You set the tone vs having to default to the most disagreeable person on the team which is usually a selfish lazy prick. Lol
@@economiessimplified6300I don't think that's true. Being in shape gives you back up to be more disagreable towards other men. But your nature is your nature, it can't be changed if only slightly.
Agreeable male here. That's why at 72 i'm at a low level of social security, never married, don't own a house, don't own a car. I have a bachelor of arts degree. But i'm no good at negotiating. I care way too much about being liked. And i see no way to improve that. Though i agree with Dr. Peterson's teaching. But i have no faith whatsoever in methods of therapy. My experience has shown talk therapy totally useless.
I feel this. I just feel guilt a lot of the time when I speak up about an opinion I have and somebody who is a disagreeable personality shames me for my thoughts. It’s a cycle of feeling bad and not wanting to share anything ever, I would love to learn strategies to be less agreeable
I am trying to be less agreeable from now on, maybe I treat it as social experiment or something where I say everything that comes to my mind for one week or so and see what happens. A concrete example: one of my costudents on whatsapp asks if I am at task 3 already, I will say no, if I have more improtant things to do. Before if I wouldnt be at task 3 I would have looked into the task anyway and tried to work on it so I clould help my costudent, even if I had other things to do. But not anymore.
that's the first and second step. Know who you are and accept yourself for who you are. Learn the strengths for your type of personality and learn to be the opposite when the time calls for it.
@Napoleon Bonaparte that’s exactly right. when I was a kid I was punched by my parents for having a different opinion (I used to disagree a lot) anyhow, when I’m older now I feel like maybe my opinions are wrong and I’m fearing being dumb. Also, I cringe a lot when I remember a debate I was in or a discussion, even tho I might have been good at it. So can you tell me please how can I train my subconscious?
@Napoleon Bonaparte I’m sorry for taking too long. my blushing held me back even when I’m talking overall, that’s why I’m confused if this is just a form of social anxiety or a personality. I don’t have people that I could hang out with that truly support me. This is maybe my fault for not finding the right people.
if you're socially anxious you get really uncomfortable at the sight of people around you. if you're agreeable you feel uncomfortable when you deviate from your nature, meaning when you try to be rude. Of course you can be both.
I'm struggling with this and is hard to swallow the message. Perhaps aknowleging agreeableness in excess stems from abuse or neglect can serve as a relief for self blame that comes about after hearing this info
With me it s the exact opposit... my sister is the most disagreable person i know me on the other hand i am very agreeable we had a father that was very disagreeable, so my sister always foght him and would have getten hard punishments. i just nod to everything he said and then did something else behind his back I am a very rational person, and i studied philosophy and work now in plumer engineering working out always calmed my mind, so i always relied on my rational sense and frame i only know how to shut up, how to reason, or violence.. but i suck at the actions between. I orderd like 3 of Jordans book yesterday :D i hope they can help me to grow in thouse things, since i am eager to learn and pain and hardship never was a factor that sroped me. i just don t like ppl that are not rational
the funny thing is... i am VERY dissagreable in Politics and Philosophy.. because i want to strat a proper discourse. i would take the stand of the other side, even if it is not my own, just to reflect on all the possibilitys, i also will recognice when i did some thinking errors, and commit to the newly learnd and try to adapt to it... i am just very bad at disagreeing about worldly things
@@ThorgalsWalhalla Are you sure you're agreeable and your sister and dad disagreeable? In a video JP says that someone can be disagreeable (someone who states clearly what they want, opinionated, and won't do what they dont wanna) but still be a chill out person and easy to be with. Being around someone who's passive aggressive, where conflict arise easily is more related to Neuroticism. You sound like me. I am rather low in agreeableness on average, but Agreeableness has 2 facets - Compassion and politeness - I'm rather high in politeness which gives the impression of someone agreeable in general - I tend to comply a lot, am very polite and had a hard time saying No when younger. But I am also very low in compassion, meaning I don't tend to feel others' suffering and makes me more interested in things and ideas than people in general (Math, science, chess, etc) I can be interested in people but from a psychology point of view - personality traits, meaning i want to understand people but from a conceptual point of view, that is ideas - and not necessarily mingle with them and cry with them lol. Knowing what to do - what actions to take - when conflict escalates has more to do with social skills which, as any skills, you need to practice to improve them.
except if women took the advice and started acting more disagreeable like men especially in the work force, they'd either not get hired or end up in those positions and lose out on having families of their own. Then they wake up one day and their in the 30's , 40's,50's single, never married or divorced, maybe 1-5 kids from 15 different dads, and are overlooked by guys because they are too old.
I think it is possible to strike the right balance. The idea that being too agreeable is what will get us women "liked" and "validated" by men is in itself a concept that has been spewed by media and the presence of too many unhealthily agreeable woman in society. Being disagreeable is not an equivalent to being cold, rigid, without compassion or empathy. And in any case, it is possible to be happy with or without marriage or kids. This whole Disney Princess syndrome of wanting to be sweet and naive so that a man will save us is what gets us into this self-sabotaging trap in the first place.
@@magnamia While it is true that "disagreeable" is not the same thing as being "cold" and "without compassion", it _is_ true that disagreeable people are more _likely_ to express those kinds of traits. One simple way to think of a disagreeable person is that it is a person who is more "self-centered", and focuses more on personal gains as opposed to getting along with other people. They aren't quite as concerned about other people's feelings and opinions compared to agreeable people, and _highly_ disagreeable people are extremely blunt, harsh and difficult to get along with. Disagreeable people are also less likely to accept someone's forgiveness - an agreeable person will generally be like "it's okay, let's forget about it and move on", whereas a disagreeable person will usually be more like "fuck off".
Men and women code the same information differently. There isn’t the same social structure nor biological structure to put these into practice for a majority. Women typically speaking often go about information through indirect sources about a direct source. Like an investigator. Often going through multiple viewpoints of other people which inevitably influences heavily over their own thoughts and actions. To them those people are right influencing their emotional reaction of a decision rather than a logically sound response after properly analyzing each possible scenario and the probability of that happening. When there is too much emotion involved it compromises everything as if you operate solely on emotions, you can be easily manipulated. This goes for men and women. It happens in the work place. The only time I can see not being agreeable is at work from the very start, know what you are there for, set a goal to reach, set a backup plan/career /company you are working for. Do your job, get paid your fair share and go home. Don’t engage in anything personal, no matter how much time you spend there, it’s a business. Save your money, take care of your health buying the most healthy food, water and everything that is essential to survival. Find some form of entertainment that doesn’t cost you an arm and a leg. Save your money, make more than you can ever spend. Save the money you would use for vacations, invest it so you can quit your job and have a staycation. Work hard for a period of time so you can enjoy the fruits of your labor later. Don’t be too comfortable where you live if what you need is more affordable elsewhere. Avoid debt, that’s more added pressure to succeed. Which leads to stress, that ruins your health, relationships and finances. Set a budget before start working, stick to it. You are working for Your future. Don’t waste time on wishful thinking/feelings. If you aren’t satisfied, get your head and body right, then make a plan to change your circumstances for the better. It doesn’t always happen overnight but the most important thing is you lose out on every chance of success when you don’t even try.
@@kokorospirit5006 Agreeableness isn't as malieble as you think. I can decide not to act so agreeable in the moment, but at the end of the day it affects my behavior on subconscious level. Like for example I have an unconscious bais towards helping other people as opposed to tending to my own needs. It's not so much that I completely neglect my needs though... Self respect is important. Don't get me wrong there are real advantages to being agreeable, it's just not a good personality type for prolonged stressful tasks.
.. Almost everyone knows that a female requires much more 'emotional DISAGREEment' than males. Females after long emotional disagreements are perhaps more 'CONVINCEABLE.' Facts should eventually win over opinion. True Agreeable = willing to accept facts. In order to appease women, he claims females are more agreeable by one definition.
.. True agreeable = willing to accept facts. Men are truly more agreeable than women. The definition Dr. Peterson uses for Agreeable = Compassion of feeling emotions and asking about other's feelings + Politeness of not wanting to appear pushy. Women are much more emotional and about appearances and therefore fit that one definition.
How to - .Facts versus emotions. Men have less need to be agreeable if the desired result is a logical solution. Common knowledge of older men is that the woman desires the back and forth for her emotional NEEDS and she gets angrier when the husband gives the solution or walks away.
..Dr. Peterson's examples of agreeable aren't good - 1. he says the agreeable bring him coffee and 2. women are less likely to ask for a raise. 3. says agreeable tell their life story in relationships. But raises are based on performance, hours worked and strength to risk requesting a raise. True Agreeable = willing to accept facts.
Hi. 🙂 Please, let us pray together. Dear God who art in heaven hallow be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever in Jesus Christ's name we pray amen.
My life summarized on 4 minutes. Incredible
He is good like that
Jordan Peterson: tells me i should be less agreeable
Me: Struggling to decide if i should click the like button
Hehe relatable
Saying the truth works like magic for me. I'm extremely agreeable and thus was pushed around by my closest people which was very damaging. Saying the truth has been changing the dynamic of every relationship I engage in. Before, I used to try to be more disagreeable but it made me an actor which was not sustainable. Believe in the fact that the truth will lead you to the best position. It is miraculous.
Speaking the truth will inevitably make you appear rude. You don't have to act as if you're a different person. You don't have to think about how rude you want to appear. This is so convenient.
I think Jordan Peterson speaks to everyone. Not just single Incels.
He doesn't get enough credit for uplifting women
Yeah exactly!
Bruh he is easliy better than 90% of the ted talkers
yes but because he ALSO speaks to Incels and no one else does that he is only known for that... wich makes this tragedy even worse
He has helped and I am female
shit I'm a male, I'm very agreeable, and it makes my life so much harder. and after I actually tried to stand my ground sometimes, I rethink about this moment, it stays in my mind, and somehow I feel guilty, I don't feel well about what i did, even though when I think rationally, I know that it's what I had to do
I go through the same thing. My stomach starts to hurt when I say no. I found out that it's linked to childhood. My mother making me feel guilty for not doing what she wants. Whether she had ill intentions or not, it does not matter. For right now, it is my responsibility. There are ways to free yourself from negative emotions. I hope you the best on your healing journey 🙏🏼 you are not alone
sssaaaame - one time I rode my bike, some idiot standing on the road in front of me - I shouted at him and was totally in the right doing that - tho I still think about this situation and hope I didn´t hurt his feelings...
Never feel bad about it! Standing up for yourself is self love! You have to look out for yourself. Just keep on doing it over and over and over until I becomes second nature!
@@mawadda1492 saying no is saying yes to yourself remember. If your so kind to other why not be kind to yourself and value your own wants and desires. Think of it like you are defending the inner child in you! Saying no to them is saying yes to yourself. Do no accept any type of behavior you do not want! No is liberating! Like jung said. To become who you truly are is a privilege of a lifetime! Free yourself
reflect and know your reasons for disagreement. If you still feel bad after that, either your perspective is still skewed, or you really were too disagreeable. It isn't always easy to distinguish rightful disagreement from dogmatic opposition - in yourself and in others. The key is clear and consequential communication with yourself and the other.
The one dislike is not an agreeable person
HAHAHAHAHA
On the whole vid he’s talking about how better is to be less agreeable
@@hpupo3421 Now that is a paradox🤔
@@hpupo3421 it is better to be not too agreeable and it is better to be not too disagreeable. You have to find the middle.
I am getting my job lost because of being to agreable.
I work as a carer. And I was too nice. So nice that in the health care system, I did not correct my coworkers when they did something wrong.
And after I started to be low in agreableness, all my coworkers did not wanted to accept it.
So nobody wanted to work with me.
After that, I am struggleing now that I might loose my job.
Good luck! I hope things turned around for you.
If it's of any assistance, the loop hole is that it's a lot easier to bargain and fight on behalf of another person than to fight for yourself. Adjust your perspective to see that you're doing something for those who have been wronged by your co-workers actions
😔😔😔
Can you actually say what "something wrong" your coworkers did? The sentence feels pretentious.
Usually when people don't want to work with someone, it's because the dude is an asshole.
I very much think that they didn't stop wanting to work with you because you were "low in agreeableness" but because you became an ass
@@Jessica_Jessica_Jessica maybe that was the case but I victimised myself and this blinded before myself reality.
Summarized my life after I came back from military. I got a job for security at a night club, and I always tried to solve things on lighter terms 'cause I didn't want to hurt people anymore, but lesson learnt, now I 'm going back to my old self, it seems it is what they wanted from me anyways.
Im so agreeable because of my fears, but I’m disagreeable outside of them
Same
Same brotha, same.
I agree :D
Well that's not good
People say he's 100% right and it's Soo very true. This is my life, my career outcomes, my ability to be taken advantage of and I resent it to the point it crushes me. I don't know how to change I can see the problem and struggle to not be agreeable. Jordan has definitely helped me on shining a light on what it actually is and I'm optimistic with that knowledge I can be able to formulate change. Thankyou Jordan
I looked this video up because I'm a guy who tends to, in some scenarios, be way too agreeable. I've been taken advantage of because I don't like confrontation, awkward moments, and I want to be a "nice guy." My wife is probably the most disagreeable person I've ever met. It's almost pathological. We can plan to do the most simple things and she has to find a way to micromanage it to fit her specific protocols and she makes simple things way too complicated and pricey and we end up doing things her way, no matter what I feel about it And the second you get in her way, you feel her wrath.
I've come a long, long way and am far more assertive, but if I try to match her in her assertiveness, I can't imagine what would happen. All of the crazy shit in her past makes so much more sense to me now that we are married. I just don't want a nuclear bomb to go off.
You shouldn't be in a marriage that feels like you're a hostage. You're having to turn to youtube to vent your thoughts. Sort that out bud.
@@maximyles a month after I posted this we separated. My wife then filed a bogus restraining order against me and kept my daughter from me for two and a half months until the restraining order was dismissed and the judge made custody orders. It was further confirmation that I made the right decision in separating with this toxic and vicious woman.
@@davidr1620 i am happy for you. i've been in similar situations, although never married. Times like this are the best time to grow, the world is cold, lookout for yourself, get stronger to combat it.
I’m happy for you man. Maybe it’s off topic, but you never wanna marry a person whose history is far complicated than your controlling level. According to your description, your ex-wife sounds like a controlling freak and super narcissist. Believe it or not, This type of women can be manipulated too, but not by you. They will be manipulated by Alpha man, who actually treats her like shit but they love it.
If she were a man she would've gotten punched in the mouth a long time ago. Unfortunately, that doesn't always teach them their lesson, man or woman.
Wow...I have a company and I hate telling my employees what to do or when I need to let them go.... need to work on this
It’s better that you’re in control. You set the tone vs having to default to the most disagreeable person on the team which is usually a selfish lazy prick. Lol
I am medium to low in Agreeableness in general, but I'm kinda high in Politeness the worst facet of Agreeableness >.
Damn, thats what my problem is too. Plus I just see no reason to ,,stand my ground,, when I am indifferent about the subject
being physically weak is major contributor to agreeableness. stand tall and workout.
@@economiessimplified6300I don't think that's true. Being in shape gives you back up to be more disagreable towards other men. But your nature is your nature, it can't be changed if only slightly.
primary motivator - intimate positive relationship
I think the disliker did not understood that he does not need to be unagreable with this message. But its a good start!
Agreeable male here. That's why at 72 i'm at a low level of social security, never married, don't own a house, don't own a car. I have a bachelor of arts degree. But i'm no good at negotiating. I care way too much about being liked. And i see no way to improve that. Though i agree with Dr. Peterson's teaching. But i have no faith whatsoever in methods of therapy. My experience has shown talk therapy totally useless.
I'm also guessing you're happy,if you aren't I wanna know if antidepressants help.
being agreeable is not responsible for that
I feel bad that I'm an agreeable person
I agree
I feel this. I just feel guilt a lot of the time when I speak up about an opinion I have and somebody who is a disagreeable personality shames me for my thoughts. It’s a cycle of feeling bad and not wanting to share anything ever, I would love to learn strategies to be less agreeable
Same
Yea same
I am trying to be less agreeable from now on, maybe I treat it as social experiment or something where I say everything that comes to my mind for one week or so and see what happens.
A concrete example: one of my costudents on whatsapp asks if I am at task 3 already, I will say no, if I have more improtant things to do.
Before if I wouldnt be at task 3 I would have looked into the task anyway and tried to work on it so I clould help my costudent, even if I had other things to do. But not anymore.
goddam this dude knows me without even knowing me
Needed this
Fuck. The last 10 seconds wrapped it up perfectly. I want to terminate that habit
vid makes sense but the caption says how to stand ur ground which it does not teach
I hate myself, I always harm myself because of my agreeableness.
that's the first and second step. Know who you are and accept yourself for who you are.
Learn the strengths for your type of personality and learn to be the opposite when the time calls for it.
I agree with Mr. Peterson ;D
You need to work on that.
very interesting... either I end up with a high salary or in prison if am not agreeable
Did you not even listen to him? If that's all you took from it, then I guess not.
lol
interesting point! But you're not wrong.
@@CM-lb9eh Chill, you could get stabbed.
Can you please provide the exact video this came from? Can't find it with just "2017 Personality and it's transformations lectures"
How to know if you are agreeable or just socially anxious?
@Napoleon Bonaparte not of the thought exactly, but if I did disagree with someone I have the symptoms of blushing, handshaking, etc
@Napoleon Bonaparte that’s exactly right. when I was a kid I was punched by my parents for having a different opinion (I used to disagree a lot) anyhow, when I’m older now I feel like maybe my opinions are wrong and I’m fearing being dumb. Also, I cringe a lot when I remember a debate I was in or a discussion, even tho I might have been good at it. So can you tell me please how can I train my subconscious?
@Napoleon Bonaparte I’m sorry for taking too long.
my blushing held me back even when I’m talking overall, that’s why I’m confused if this is just a form of social anxiety or a personality. I don’t have people that I could hang out with that truly support me. This is maybe my fault for not finding the right people.
if you're socially anxious you get really uncomfortable at the sight of people around you.
if you're agreeable you feel uncomfortable when you deviate from your nature, meaning when you try to be rude.
Of course you can be both.
I am only agreeable because people become overly upset if I get too happy because naturally I am a horrible @*#hole
I'm struggling with this and is hard to swallow the message. Perhaps aknowleging agreeableness in excess stems from abuse or neglect can serve as a relief for self blame that comes about after hearing this info
Dam, I'm so agreeable it sickens me .how do I learn to do this?
ua-cam.com/video/s6H9AIVP08w/v-deo.html
Same here I thought I wasn’t agreeable the amount of credit I give ppl to there stupid shit LOLL
With me it s the exact opposit...
my sister is the most disagreable person i know
me on the other hand i am very agreeable
we had a father that was very disagreeable, so my sister always foght him and would have getten hard punishments.
i just nod to everything he said and then did something else behind his back
I am a very rational person, and i studied philosophy and work now in plumer engineering
working out always calmed my mind, so i always relied on my rational sense and frame
i only know how to shut up, how to reason, or violence.. but i suck at the actions between.
I orderd like 3 of Jordans book yesterday :D i hope they can help me to grow in thouse things, since i am eager to learn and pain and hardship never was a factor that sroped me.
i just don t like ppl that are not rational
the funny thing is... i am VERY dissagreable in Politics and Philosophy.. because i want to strat a proper discourse. i would take the stand of the other side, even if it is not my own, just to reflect on all the possibilitys, i also will recognice when i did some thinking errors, and commit to the newly learnd and try to adapt to it... i am just very bad at disagreeing about worldly things
@@ThorgalsWalhalla Are you sure you're agreeable and your sister and dad disagreeable? In a video JP says that someone can be disagreeable (someone who states clearly what they want, opinionated, and won't do what they dont wanna) but still be a chill out person and easy to be with. Being around someone who's passive aggressive, where conflict arise easily is more related to Neuroticism.
You sound like me. I am rather low in agreeableness on average, but Agreeableness has 2 facets - Compassion and politeness - I'm rather high in politeness which gives the impression of someone agreeable in general - I tend to comply a lot, am very polite and had a hard time saying No when younger.
But I am also very low in compassion, meaning I don't tend to feel others' suffering and makes me more interested in things and ideas than people in general (Math, science, chess, etc) I can be interested in people but from a psychology point of view - personality traits, meaning i want to understand people but from a conceptual point of view, that is ideas - and not necessarily mingle with them and cry with them lol.
Knowing what to do - what actions to take - when conflict escalates has more to do with social skills which, as any skills, you need to practice to improve them.
This was a lot to take in in four minutes.
That's me - 1:21
except if women took the advice and started acting more disagreeable like men especially in the work force, they'd either not get hired or end up in those positions and lose out on having families of their own. Then they wake up one day and their in the 30's , 40's,50's single, never married or divorced, maybe 1-5 kids from 15 different dads, and are overlooked by guys because they are too old.
I think it is possible to strike the right balance. The idea that being too agreeable is what will get us women "liked" and "validated" by men is in itself a concept that has been spewed by media and the presence of too many unhealthily agreeable woman in society. Being disagreeable is not an equivalent to being cold, rigid, without compassion or empathy.
And in any case, it is possible to be happy with or without marriage or kids. This whole Disney Princess syndrome of wanting to be sweet and naive so that a man will save us is what gets us into this self-sabotaging trap in the first place.
@@magnamia While it is true that "disagreeable" is not the same thing as being "cold" and "without compassion", it _is_ true that disagreeable people are more _likely_ to express those kinds of traits.
One simple way to think of a disagreeable person is that it is a person who is more "self-centered", and focuses more on personal gains as opposed to getting along with other people.
They aren't quite as concerned about other people's feelings and opinions compared to agreeable people, and _highly_ disagreeable people are extremely blunt, harsh and difficult to get along with.
Disagreeable people are also less likely to accept someone's forgiveness - an agreeable person will generally be like "it's okay, let's forget about it and move on", whereas a disagreeable person will usually be more like "fuck off".
@@Peter_1986 Interesting! Enjoyed reading your comment. Thank you! :)
Men and women code the same information differently. There isn’t the same social structure nor biological structure to put these into practice for a majority.
Women typically speaking often go about information through indirect sources about a direct source. Like an investigator.
Often going through multiple viewpoints of other people which inevitably influences heavily over their own thoughts and actions.
To them those people are right influencing their emotional reaction of a decision rather than a logically sound response after properly analyzing each possible scenario and the probability of that happening.
When there is too much emotion involved it compromises everything as if you operate solely on emotions, you can be easily manipulated. This goes for men and women.
It happens in the work place.
The only time I can see not being agreeable is at work from the very start, know what you are there for, set a goal to reach, set a backup plan/career /company you are working for.
Do your job, get paid your fair share and go home.
Don’t engage in anything personal, no matter how much time you spend there, it’s a business.
Save your money, take care of your health buying the most healthy food, water and everything that is essential to survival.
Find some form of entertainment that doesn’t cost you an arm and a leg.
Save your money, make more than you can ever spend. Save the money you would use for vacations, invest it so you can quit your job and have a staycation.
Work hard for a period of time so you can enjoy the fruits of your labor later.
Don’t be too comfortable where you live if what you need is more affordable elsewhere.
Avoid debt, that’s more added pressure to succeed. Which leads to stress, that ruins your health, relationships and finances.
Set a budget before start working, stick to it.
You are working for
Your future. Don’t waste time on wishful thinking/feelings.
If you aren’t satisfied, get your head and body right, then make a plan to change your circumstances for the better.
It doesn’t always happen overnight but the most important thing is you lose out on every chance of success when you don’t even try.
Being agreeable can be shit
You can be agreeable only with people that are agreeable/pleasant/helpful with you.
@@kokorospirit5006 Agreeableness isn't as malieble as you think. I can decide not to act so agreeable in the moment, but at the end of the day it affects my behavior on subconscious level.
Like for example I have an unconscious bais towards helping other people as opposed to tending to my own needs. It's not so much that I completely neglect my needs though... Self respect is important.
Don't get me wrong there are real advantages to being agreeable, it's just not a good personality type for prolonged stressful tasks.
Cathy Newman: So why do you think women don’t deserve to be paid?
This is not even a how to
.. Almost everyone knows that a female requires much more 'emotional DISAGREEment' than males. Females after long emotional disagreements are perhaps more 'CONVINCEABLE.' Facts should eventually win over opinion. True Agreeable = willing to accept facts. In order to appease women, he claims females are more agreeable by one definition.
.. True agreeable = willing to accept facts. Men are truly more agreeable than women. The definition Dr. Peterson uses for Agreeable = Compassion of feeling emotions and asking about other's feelings + Politeness of not wanting to appear pushy. Women are much more emotional and about appearances and therefore fit that one definition.
How to - .Facts versus emotions. Men have less need to be agreeable if the desired result is a logical solution. Common knowledge of older men is that the woman desires the back and forth for her emotional NEEDS and she gets angrier when the husband gives the solution or walks away.
..Dr. Peterson's examples of agreeable aren't good - 1. he says the agreeable bring him coffee and 2. women are less likely to ask for a raise. 3. says agreeable tell their life story in relationships. But raises are based on performance, hours worked and strength to risk requesting a raise. True Agreeable = willing to accept facts.
Hi. 🙂 Please, let us pray together. Dear God who art in heaven hallow be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever in Jesus Christ's name we pray amen.
I disagree sir...
I agree. I disliked.
I came here to learn about agreeableness in general, not for a lesson for women.